My first attempt at questions!

[chuckie egg]

Here goe's.....

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.

2. Marital Status/love interest?

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)

[dickieC]

Here goes.....

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.

Erm, are there any?. Most of my deep dark secrets have already been revealed to the board in a drunken stupor. But, um, I was born in Bristol?

2. Marital Status/love interest?

Single, single, single, do you have to rub it in?

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?

Guilty as charged.

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?

Have wondered, never tried. The scientist in me is hard to suppress. I am dying to know your answer to this question :)

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?

With Cameron Diaz, in Oxford, with her telling me she loves me so much she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and not that low-life loser she's just got engaged to.

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?

Oh, streak, just to see what happened. And to accomplish one of the "do before your 30" challenges.

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?

In the bath.

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?

Sometimes... tends to be things like, "come on, get back to work, stop messing about with zefrank.com"...

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)

A trip to France, staying in a cottage just outside Boulougne in the snow. Bloody cold but terribly romantic, dontcha know?

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)

Cows go
Cows go who?
Cows go moo, not who, silly!

[chuckie egg]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.
I was once a black belt in kungfu

2. Marital Status/love interest?
Yes

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?
Yes, yes I do.

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?
Yes I have wondered about this..evidently. I have never as yet seriously considered testing this, although it scares me that one day I might!

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?
I'd be in Barbados, on the beach with a random attractive Bajan bloke serving me cool drinks

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?
Preferably I'd take the naked option, its a more impressive story to tell

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?
On the toilet, every time

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?
Yes I do, I think I may be on the edge of insanity, I say allsorts

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)
hmmm... not that good really, came home from uni and took him out for a surprise meal

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)
Big ish...

[noxxville]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.

I have an inexplicable hatred/fear of cotton balls.

2. Marital Status/love interest?

Yes.

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?

What else is there to do while driving?

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?

Yep. I've actually tried to estimate based on water displacement too. Never just gave up and grabbed a bottle though.

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?

There is at least one question in every one of these that I feel has been designed to make me look like a sappy, cheesy bastard. This is that question. I with who I'd want to be with, maybe relocate to greece for a week but it's not necessary.

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?

I'll take the naked. I'd probably panic if my hand were caught in a mailbox and consider chewing it off. I couldn't live with that.

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?

The car

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?

I ususally tell myself not to shoot the coworkers.

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)

Actually, the most well received present was when bought all new dihes and silverware, redocorated the room and cooked a nice dinner. Tons of candles, music, it was pretty nice.

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)
not my brain.......

[Deviate]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.
i hate my job.

oh, wait, you want something NOBODY knows? um, okay, i'm a ferocious dancer.

2. Marital Status/love interest?
yes.

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?
i usually wait to stop first.

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?
yes i have wondered, no i haven't tested it.

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?
i'm assuming i have to be where ever that person is, not that i just get to go where ever the hell i please with whomever i please ('cause that'd be too damn cool).
so, basically, i'd be right where i am.

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?
i'd rather run down the street naked. hell, i've done it several times before

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?
in my head.

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?
all the time. all sortsa stuff.

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)
flowers to unsuspecting individuals

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)
open the damn door, you know who it is.
damn paranoid bastard.

[Superkitty]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.

Well seeing as I'm new here I can tell you anything. I have a double jointed middle finger

2. Marital Status/love interest?

Spoken for

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?

Always on the sofa

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?

I consider it more if I'm drunk and I always think that its got to be more than a pint but I've never tried it.

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?

At home with my other half and a bottle of bacardi.

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?

Hand stuck in mailbox as dishy firemen would come to my rescue.

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?

In bed. Also my most sillest ideas come to me in bed and I have to seperate them from the good ideas. Sometimes its quite difficult to do

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?

I talk to myself all the time and people know it.

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)

Sex :p

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)

Dr Who. Its crap I know

[masterofNone]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.
Unlike Zen, I actually do have a third nipple. It's a small vestigial thing but clearly is a nipple with areola and everything. Serious as a heart attack.

2. Marital Status/love interest?
Single/Not currently

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?
Of course

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?
no. I've always been pretty satisfied with the"piss like a race horse" decription.

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?
Valerie Nelson. In a Bahamian cottage overlooking the beach

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?
the latter. I am not naked guy.

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?
In dreams

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?
fantastic

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)
A big damned diamond ring, a pair of the sheerest, seam up the back, sluttiest black hose I could find, a pack of Lucky Strikes and some chocolate bars


10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)
tennish
tennish who?
I prefer to call them running shoes.

[Deviate]

good joke MoN.

maybe it was just me, but i was assuming that in question number 6, chuckie meant that you were outside naked anyway, would you rather have your hand stuck in the mailbox or have to run down a crowded street.

s'my theory anyhoo.

-st.

[dickieC]

Ah, I thought it was just an alternative embarrassing moment, as in "I'm such an eejit I can't even post a letter without needing to call out the fire brigade".

We shall have to wait until tomorrow for adjudication. Chuckie is usually only here at lunchtime.

[Arif-ul Haq]

d

[amanda]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.
I managed a hostel in New Zealand.

2. Marital Status/love interest?
not interested/not currently

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?
no car, so I don't drive. I pick my nose elsewhere.

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?
never tested it, but now.... lemme get back to you on that

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?
I like me and I'm where I wanna be, so I guess here. Since here I am.

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?
how 'bout both at the same time? wheee!!

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?
in the shower

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?
I am my own best friend. Of course I talk to myself- I'm doing it now. You are just listening in.

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)
beyond valentine's parties in elementary school, I've never celebrated valentine's day- mostly because I've never been with someone in february.

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)
drunk
drunk who?
drunk me on sake and plum wine. sorry kiddo, but it's friday night and I'm there and happy. :)

[lapietra]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.
I used to keep mice as pets. First I had one - Reepicheep - then I had two - Bernard & Benjamin. We had two bathrooms - a shower in one & a bathtub in the other - I built a toilet-paper tube Habitrail for them & kept them in the bathtub. Made it easy to clean.
I wasn't a very good mom tho'. :( I'm much better now.

2. Marital Status/love interest?
Sniggle.

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?
Ummmm... I don't think so while driving... I think maybe I've caught myself doing it while watching TV... heh. (You should see my apartment, tho' - I have Kleenex boxes in almost every corner...)

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?
Ummm, no.

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?
In bed with ...I'm pleading the 5th again. (No, it's probably not who you're thinking... :D)

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?
Well - if I have to be naked anyway I think I'd rather be running - at least I can get inside eventually... or hide behind something. I *like* being naked - just not outside. :D

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?
In bed, right before I fall asleep. And I often forget them. Argh.

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?
I mutter a lot, sort of whisper to myself... all kinds of things. Sometimes I'm telling myself what to do, sometimes I have conversations with people that aren't there (no, not like a Harvey kind of thing; you know, friends, adversaries, family members) - sometimes I'm working on a monologue. Oh, and I talk to the kitties a lot. :)

9. What’s the best Valentine's present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)
A 5-star meal, a Felix the Cat doll, and me. ;)

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana split.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana split.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana split.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's not the banana? :rolleyes: :p

[LadyCrow]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.
- I've got too many damn grey hairs (hidden, but trust me they're there)

2. Marital Status/love interest?
-single/depends on whom you're talking to

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?
(I love this one)
-yes, but I make sure no one is looking (or @ night only; I'm not that tacky)

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?
-I've considered it, but haven't tested it

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?
-my favorite wrassler (The Undertaker) & Ireland

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?
-hand stuck in a mailbox

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?
-in my humble abode

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?
-oh, all the time; it's usually a commentary on what I'm doing @ the time, or some snide remark about a crappy song on the radio

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)
-a copy of "Love Is Hell" by Matt Groening; the ex-toilet was too ****ing stupid to appreciate such worthy humor as that, & I didn't get the opportunity to steal it back

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

[red]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.

I yearn to speak Spanish fluently.


2. Marital Status/love interest?

Married/my husband–they don't have to be the same thing, but they are for me.


3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?

No. In the toilet.


4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?

No and no.


5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?

I'd be with my husband and we'd be in Amsterdam.


6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?

Hand in the mailbox. It's too cold to run naked.


7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?

in bed


8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?

"Doh!", "Oh FA!", "Oh for crying out loud!", "SHOOT!"


9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)

I made my husband a 8 page album with photos, menus, ticket stubs, etc. (things that meant something to us) and gave it too him. Cheap and yet priceless.


10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)

Are ther really ANY good knock knock jokes?

[chuckie egg]

Dickie C is correct! Sorry deev :D

Tis true I only get to come here in my lunchbreak, its the only time the site is unblocked. :(

Originally posted by dickieC
Ah, I thought it was just an alternative embarrassing moment, as in "I'm such an eejit I can't even post a letter without needing to call out the fire brigade".

We shall have to wait until tomorrow for adjudication. Chuckie is usually only here at lunchtime.

[rmr]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.
I'm off to the unemployment office in about an hour.

2. Marital Status/love interest?
Not at the moment

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?
Yes, I pick my nose quite often

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?
Not yet

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?
I'm not sure exactly, but I know I would not be going to the unemployment office in about an hour.

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?
Running, that's for sure. I feel stupid standing around naked and with my hand stuck in something that would be just awful. Just standing there like "ah, yeah, put my hand somewhere I wasn't supposed to again and got it damn stuck and sh*t, I just happen to be naked"

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?
While I'm cleaning my place

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?
Yes, quite often. I talk to myself about anything. I'm quite good company.

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)
I've never given a valentines present. I hate valentines day.

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)

GO AWAY!!!

[Frieda]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.
see question #6

2. Marital Status/love interest?
currently single. there's someone i care for, but i just wish i'd met him later. i'm not ready for a relationship right now.

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?
yup, but only when no one can see me :)

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?
i haven't tested it, but i do count how long a full-speed pee takes if i really REALLY have to go :D

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?
i'd be traveling around the globe. i'd rather be in space though. the moon maybe.. or beyond..

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?
i once had my hand stuck in a mailbox. humiliating. i'd streak.

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?
in the places where i go in my dreams just before i wake up in the morning.

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?
i talk to myself all day. people tell me it's annoying, i tell myself i shouldn't care :)

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)
lingerie & champagne

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)
i hope it's the pizza guy, i'm hungry!

[sybil]

1. State a fact about yourself that as yet nobody on this board knows about.


2. Marital Status/love interest?

single... no

3. Do you sometimes pick your nose whilst driving? If not where and when do you pick it?

yup.

4. After a night out drinking, and you go to urinate, have you ever wondered what volume that is... i.e. “I wonder if that would fill a pint glass?” Have you ever actually tested this, or considered it?

i have wondered... never tried to measure the volume, but i have weighed myself before and after...

5. If you could be with anyone you liked in world right now... who would it be? And where?

this cute guy i met the other night, having coffee... (sounds lame, i know, but you did say right now...)

6. Would you rather run naked down a busy street or get your hand stuck in a mailbox?

mailbox

7. In which place do you usually get your best ideas?

in the car

8. Do you talk to yourself? What do you say?

often... usually random epiphanies that i forget mere moments later and try to remember the rest of the day

9. What’s the best Valentines present you’ve ever given? (Yes I am looking to steal your ideas!)

i am such a bad gift giver...

10. Knock knock…. Who’s there?…. (please complete)