entertain me!

[12"razormix]

http://photo.goliathus.com/bolivia/pictures/map-of-lake-titicaca.png

write a story, an announcement, a complaint ... a limerick - anything :)
using as many cities as you can from this map and post a new map for the next person

[craig johnston]

the bouncy castle tour of peru blog

day one: conima
phew, i'm knackered after blowing up three castles. the bloody pump
broke down (that was zero's job). lovely view of the lake from my
hut, shame about the llamas.

day two: moho
zero got chinned by a local for calling him a moho. that was the best
laugh of the day.

day three: pusi
zero got chinned by a local for calling him a pusi. that was the best
laugh of the day.

day four: huata
zero keeps going 'huata bout that?!'. he calls it a 'joke'. i am not
convinced. locals really digging on the castles, two kids hurt.

day five: puno
day off to take in the sights of this major cocaine producing town.
zero's gone missing. funkytuba disappeared into a house of fun.
now he's got a rash.
first edible meal of tour. later found out it was boiled rat.
next stop: plateria!
tbc....

:)

[Jaime]

I know this wasn't what was intended, but if you turn the lake upsidedown and backwards, change a couple of colours, and add a nifty pair of shades, an interesting effect is reached. May I present... Super-Titicaca!

http://img226.imageshack.us/img226/3180/supertiticacaoy6.jpg

[Hyakujo's Fox]

We sailed out onto Lake Titicaca, but our map told us very little more than that. Why we didn't get a more informative map I don't know. Later on we realised that we'd been looking at it upside down, but it didn't really help and someone had been doodling on it anyway, so we sailed back to some town that we didn't know the name of. It was a super trip.


http://www.gate1travel.com/egypt-travel/hotels/maps/c_MoevenpickPyramids.gif

[craig johnston]

cairo 6th october

professor fox met us at the station as arranged. he had thoughtfully coloured it red on the map, which he sent us by pigeon post as usual. resplendent in khaki shorts and pith helmet, the professor took us directly to the egyptian museum, where he regaled us with tales of the great king alcopop and his wife neferteatime. much impressed, we followed the doughty academic across the 6th october bridge, which, luckily, was open due to the date.
the papyrus institute was a disappointment, having disintegrated during a short shower the day before. however, we kept our spirits up by singing old bush songs that the professor taught us as we struggled through the crowds and traffic.
after visiting the world's largest wallaby collection at the zoo, we stopped for lunch at a little place run by an ex-student of our guide. the felafels are regarded as the best in all egypt and they certainly left their mark on our digestive systems.
our host was in fine form, expounding on australia's warm and close relationship with egypt, which dates back to the time tutankamun played cricket for newcastle under 16s, scoring 53 not out on his debut. as he was just about to explain how the tune of 'waltzing mathilda' was actually written by a coptic herdsman in the 14th century, he was shot in the back by a masked assassin, who shouted 'freedom for south austalia!' as she ran off into the crowd, leaving behind only this map:

https://www3.nationalgeographic.com/genographic/pi/images/region_11_map.gif

[Brynn]

It was a little vague, and we tucked it away for safekeeping.
A trip to the emergency room was in order. Unfortunately, this hospital had everything but an emergency room.
http://www.alderhey.com/RLCH/assets/map_of_hospital.gif
The mural displays were especially pretty, and provided some wonderful photo opportunities.


There was also some confusion about who or what fox was, and they sent us on to a veterinarian.

[Coffee]

Wanting to get to the car park as soon as possible via the pedestrian entrance near the Ronald McDonald House, I found my self musing thankfully that I had not needed to visit the Neurosciences unit. While sitting in the Cash office after my ear nose and throat operation...boy was my head stuffed up prior to that...I noticed an unfamilliar bulge in my back pocket, and discovered that a map had been tucked away in there somehow. Now, I've never been to Australia, and I don't know much about the area, but based on the very vague map I assumed that Adelaide was THE place to visit, and resolved to go there just as soon as I completed my circumnavigation of Europe, Asia and Africa.
I heard my name being called by the checker at the cash window and pulled out my wallet and found nothing but Mexican Pesos inside, wrapped in THIS MAP:
http://www.lynnrosetours.com/baja%20images/la_paz/lapaz_map.jpg

[12"razormix]

il coyote arrived at la paz dirty and tired. and mad. rude waitresses, dirty motels, gas stations, bookies and an endless string of expensive hookers had taken their toll.

'AYE, MI DIOS, LOS INOCENTOS! CERDOS MALDECIDOS!!!! LOS CRUCES Y LOS ENCINOS, DIVISADOROS!!!!!!! SANTA ISABEL AYUDA' he exclaimed and spat in the dust.

http://www.tattydevine.com/pics/soho-map.gif

[skip intro]

^^^^^^
great streets!

:)

[zero]

http://www.tattydevine.com/pics/soho-map.gif
the dark of frith street cinema. senior stremboli finds and fondles miss makik's knee. above ground, vigilant shut-eye for elsie, almost nodding off at 2pm alone in brewer street mansions, her bedsit glowing infrared. buzzz. the door. randolph writes up his diary: two tickets for the windmill theatre, twenty guineas each. supper at trattoria verde greek street, eight pounds each. breaths of air condense unseen on glasshouse tiles. let me touch her breasts in the cab. nothing more. no gratitude at all, says alf home from the sea, his toupee an open book. madame sosostris does embroidery. my secret vice she says and makes her fine surgical stitches the length of shaftesbury avenue.

~




http://online.caup.washington.edu/ceeds/sites_of_learning/images/3_6e_ideal_map.gif

[trisherina]

http://online.caup.washington.edu/ceeds/sites_of_learning/images/3_6e_ideal_map.gif

Dear Mum and Dara:

Thank you so much for sending me to Christian Science Camp. Yesterday I got in a fight with Elvin and Dejon, who said that God created people and dogs. They don't seem to know much about evolution. They said that I don't believe in God but I told them I do, in the way of science.

Anyway, yesterday we went orienttering and I found a frog. He hopped away before I could catch him but maybe I will see him again. Pastor Tim and a Mountie in a red coat gave us a talk about not using drugs. I'm never going to smoke, because it's really hard to quit. Today we get to go horseback riding and I might get my turn on the flight simulater!

I'm going to go eat breakfast but give all my animals a hug for me. I will phone you on phone night.

Love,


http://www.sttiggywinkles.org.uk/Tour/Hospital_Floor_Plan.jpg

[12"razormix]

wilbur entered the holy spirit veterinary hospital through the main entrance carrying edgar, who was rolled up in a tight ball, in the palm of his hand. the gift shop beckoned with glittering gadgets and furry toys but wilbur moved on to the reception area.

"my hedgehog" he began and suddenly felt awkward. "edgar fell from the kitchen table this morning. he was sleepy. i think he broke his leg."

the receptionist glared at him through thick lenses, blinked once and bellowed "x-ray!". wilbur began "where.." and the bullfrog behind the glass panel pointed to her right "you have to get the form from the office first."

wilbur was afraid to ask any more questions. he entered the corridor behind the receptionist cubicle and there were two doors. he chose the door to his right. "can i help you?" "i need the form for the x-ray" wilbur said. "my hedgehog…" "this is office 2b, you want office 2a!" the helpful girl behind the desk explained "across the hall".

he managed to get the 5-page x-ray form from office 2a and was looking around for a place to sit down and fill it out. behind the next set of doors was a staircase. edgar had started to sneeze and tried to hide under wilbur's armpit. wilbur sat down and fumbled for a pen.

...

[12"razormix]

somewhere in the bird nursery a parakeet shrieked. 45 minutes later, wilbur was on his way to the x-ray room. he had filled out three whole pages of the form! an assistant in a white gown greeted wilbur. "have you been to new admissions?" wilbur felt insecure. "office 2a?" "no, you need office 3c, 'new admissions'. you have to register and they will give you a number."

luckily, new admissions was right next door! wilbur knocked politely. no answer. he tried the doorknob. the door was locked. just as wilbur tried to decide what to do next, the door of the large mammal ward flung wide open and what appeared to be a very large cat with no tail came running down the hall, followed by two assistants in light green gowns and wilbur thought he heard a rooster crow before the door was hastily shut again from the inside.

[12"razormix]

http://www.tridentdiving.freeuk.com/images/arleseybluelagoon.jpg

[zero]

emerging from identical huts they wondered if maybe it was luck or a talent for going naked that lets two bodies mingle with the lagoon till hands and eyes and even the lungs, are water. maybe it was a gift for transformation, this changing from children to swans at the waters edge, from swans to fish to waterweed. and maybe it was a pledge to gravity that had kept them sometimes wedded to the earth like twin steel poles. the way they could dive to prove the seabed before they could swim mid current, probe the mud amongst the wrecks with their fingers, claw up handfuls of pebbles and silt and clay. they had to know what solid ground was there while they drifted on, merging with the tide, taking their form from the water and making it theirs. in his dream he was sitting out at the edge of the water watching her wade towards him in the dark: in her dream he was replacing her eyes with nuggets of blue beach glass. waiting by the platform to step like herons out of the great deeps they wondered what they'd leave beneath the silt: footprints and tangles of hair that would sink forever, that thumb ring she'd once let fall through the streaming weeds might land and come to rest in a metal box they'd rediscover next time. diving for almost an hour they came up empty handed and yet remembering the car they'd watched sink and settle upside down. just like the bodies they would shed when they hoisted themselves onto the jetty.
~



http://www.sil.org/linguaLinks/literacy/ReferenceMaterials/GlossaryOfLiteracyTerms/tawmap2.gif

[12"razormix]

i have a dog, his name is scout
scout, my dog, is big and stout

almost always, without fail
scout ( you know.... the dog ) plays with his tail

my neighbour's hamster barks at cats
scout ( the dog ) collects fat gnats

my neighbour's dog is black and white
frankly, i don't give a shite

scout, my dog, plays with a ball
thank you, sir, that will be all


http://www.scripting.com/images/microsoftsScriptingEnvironm.gif

[zero]

.

http://static.flickr.com/105/311172411_c0530fb423.jpg


.








http://cyberreviews.skwc.com/bdmckay/pg/pg_55_jungle_map_th.jpg



.

[12"razormix]

the noisy motor shook the small plane and otis was perspiring. he had not seen zelda in 4 years and 7 days and he was looking forward to see her again. zelda. he relished the sound of her name on his tongue. would she have grown older?

no, not his zelda. he looked at the map that she had sent him. he smiled, shook his head and imagined what the new cave would look like. she had told him that she was planning to paint it yellow (her favourite colour).

as he approached the landing strip, he noticed that she had painted the landing strip yellow as well. hell, that crazy bitch had painted the whole damn jungle a bright banana yellow!



http://www.lifeup-japan.com/wonder/img/map01.gif

[trisherina]

Hello,

Thank you for the successful bid.
It is satisfactory. Shipping is combined.
An auction finishes, and an invoice is sent.

Best regards.

http://www.crimelibrary.com/graphics/photos/notorious_murders/classics/charles_francis_hall/1-1-North-Pole-Baffin-Bay.jpg

[zero]

brought to you courtesy of trisharama's drabble-matic (http://www.prillalar.com/drabbles/)


An Icy Occurrence

horace paced up and down the greenland igloo, jiggling his arse. his very good friend, mary sue, had arranged to meet him here on an iceberg. "i have something frozen to tell you," she had said. mary sue was late, which was very unlike her. any moment now, horace expected to see her bounce up, her numb bahoochie following on behind her and her blue eyes frosted over.

horace heard footsteps, but they seemed rather cold for a delicate and snowy girl like mary sue, whose tread was refridgerated. he turned around and found daphnie staring at him.

"what are you doing here?" daphnie said chitteringly. "i thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

horace had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so frozen stiffly. "mary sue asked to meet me here in baffin bay." as he gazed at daphnie, his bollocks began to throb, chilly and canadian.

"oh," daphnie said, frostbitingly. "I'll just go then."

"wait," horace said and caught daphnie by her toe. "i was wrong. i still love you. can you ever forgive me?"

"yes," daphnie said, smiling. they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like frogs on an alaskan icebound pool.

from behind a canadian snowdrift, mary sue watched with a thermal bumwarmer in her miserably saggy thermal pants. she took a list out of her earmuffs, and checked off "horace & daphnie". then, she slid off over the glaciers to help another bitterly cold man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the penguins from extinction at the north pole.


~



http://rivertext.com/images_weil/platoscave.gif



.

[trisherina]

From: Out Of Time

(transcribed from official songbook)

Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

Applicable copyright is implicit (Copyright © R.E.M./Athens Ltd. for all R.E.M. originals).

http://infocom.elsewhere.org/gallery/leather/catacomb-map1.jpg

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There were many suspects in the strange case of the murder of Dr Zero. Initially I though Trisherina had done the deed in the Great Hall with the revolver, but that was not the case. Moving on I cornered madasacutsnake in the crypt and accused her of doing in him with some non-prescribed medication but again I was proven incorrect. Next on my list was a certain Craig Johnston, who had been lurking in the Temple with a candelabra, but he claimed it was for some kind of dance event later in the evening. Finally I moved onto the Vault there I correctly deduced the guilty party, it was 12''razormix who had done in Dr Zero in the most grisly fashion with a 12''razormix.






http://map.gsfc.nasa.gov/m_ig/060915/CMB_Timeline75.jpg

[Coffee]

LET THERE BE LIGHT "GOD" commanded, and promptly blew himself up in the Bang Bang. That is what happens when you let infants (gods, humans, monkeys...what have you) play with fire. It was inevitable, fate if you will. Nothing really divine about it actually. Since HE was the only entity in existance at the time, and actually a pretty farking tiny entity measuring less than 1x10-27th microns in size, it really isn't fair to think of him as a God at all...he was just the only energy in the system till he struck that match...the dumbass. Very shortly after the event occured, the vacuum around the event horizon sucked the torn and mangled shreds of HIS self outward at unbelievable speed (for that is the proper speed for a god to travel), the sub particles moved at such rapid rates that they created a plasmic glow lasting for 400,000 years as measured by our own time period phase rate. When the glow dimmed all became dark again till finally the new gods formed from the energized pieces of the OLD God...they were the first Stars...not to be confused with the celebrities we now call Stars on our miniscule planetoid. These were true MEGA-Stars...immense collections of matter destined for short and violent carreers as creators of Heavy Elements leading to the development of the galaxies of dust, gas, and the very elements making possible the planetoids WE now occupy...for a short time that is. For even now the Dark Forces seek to accelerate the expansion of our universe, which will lead to Vacuous forces assuming control of us, and will cause greater and greater space between the elements till no light will be able to travel between systems, or even brain cells, effectively isolating information to the point that no information exchange will be possible, and thus civilizations will no longer be possible. Witness even now the infant stages of this period as demonstrated by the willingness of OUR people to allow morons and simpletons to dictate policy in many of our civilizations...just part of the new phase of the universe.


http://www.lonelyplanet.com/mapimages/north_america/washington_dc/washington_dc.gif

[brightpearl]

This is the most interesting thread I found by searching for the word "parakeet."

Let's see what happens now.

[zero]

to make something happen you, beryl, must write a story, an announcement, a complaint ... a limerick - anything using as many cities as you can from the map above you and post a new map for the next person

[12"razormix]

ken and libby went to see washington
washington, dc

boldly they decided to enter
enter the goddamn kennedy center

ken entered and began to shiver
began to shiver close to the potomac river

libby the dumb stupid tart
didn't know, didn't care for
no national museum of american art

foggy bottoms in waterside park
will happen to you if you stay after dark
stay after dark in waterside park

ken thought amazin
amazin the tidal basin
stood gazin at the amzain basin

leaving taking route 395
ken and libby managed to get out
alive



please to entertain me:
http://www.ensemblestudios.com/images/johnsoffice.bmp

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

The original plan was to surprise John in his office. He’s been acting rather strange recently. Well, in the past three years. He seems to be avoiding me and every time I bring up the topic of engagement he mutters something incomprehensible and leaves for his office. This time I decided to confront him right there, so he’d have nowhere to run. Except I couldn’t find my way. I walked in circles in Drum Circle for a good hour until I found the door leading to Racketball. I quickly ran away from there, because all that loud, distressing noise was giving me a headache. I found myself in a theatre. I didn’t know John’s office was connected with a hospital… They were operating on a patient who was screaming, somewhat impatiently. In the room Free Weights I understood the categoric imperative, because I saw Free Willy one hundred and fifty consecutive times. I freed them all, through the window. When I wandered into Ping Pong Tables, I hit my hip several times. No one saw me, so it didn’t count. In the Bowling Alley somehow I managed to throw myself instead of the bowling ball and as I was rolling I hoped nobody would be knocked down. Or up. Fortunately I got stuck in the middle. Just in time to catch sight of John’s office door. I opened it and that’s where I found him. Well, them. In A Very Close Encounter. There was nothing to do or say. I headed silently for Stress Relief Jackhammer Area that I could recognise through the veil of my tears and I realised what a jackass I’d been… Altough, in fact I did surprise John in his office, and that was the original plan.

The map is a bit biggish. Sorry.

http://lineage.cz/images/maps/Aden%20World%20Map%20C5%20(big).jpg

[trisherina]

Passing through the family room, rubbing lotion into her hands, Owen's mother peered over his shoulder at the laptop screen.

"Whatchoo got here, Owen? A Beast Farm? Anghel Waterfall? Why'd they misspell Angel?" She extended a finger smelling strongly of lavender toward the screen, and Owen edged away slightly, not wanting her to touch and leave a smear.

"It's not misspelled, it's a fairly common Romani--"

"Monster Race Track, now I could do with a bit of that," she mused. "What's with this Shadow of the Mother Tree?" Her eyes narrowed. "Did you put that in, Owen? Put it in to mock me?"

"No, of course not. There's a legend about it in the game. It's very moving." Their eyes met. She straightened up abruptly, rubbing the small of her back.

"Moving, eh. Well, you'd best tear yourself away from the Ice Queen's Castle and all of that and get moving yourself. The leaves aren't blowing themselves off the lawn, you know."

"I know," he replied, but she was already through the doorway.

Now please entertain me:

http://strangemaps.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/scbbq.jpg

[Brynn]

"Next up, what are you doing to protect your home from the
bizarre weather headed our way? Meteorologist Lance Glassly takes
a look at the 24-hour Doppler radar for precipitation patterns in
your area, plus we'll talk to local grocers about what to stock up on,
and what to do with all those massive amounts of condiments after
these messages----"

They don't know the half of their problems, Lisette thought
as she abruptly snapped off the TV and ambled into the
kitchen to check on the barbeque hot dog pieces bubbling
sluggishly in the crock pot. As she lifted the lid to stir, she
caught a glimpse of several translucent sprites escaping with
the steam, so she decided to tone them down with a little
sugar and absinthe. She wanted it to pack a wallop, but if it
gained too much altitude too fast from the carbonation they
caused, the high trade winds would carry it all to the next
town, and all her plans would be ruined.




Here's one:
http://www.bconnex.net/~gmcdonal/images/HOLLYWOODc4.gif