Can you believe the talent on this one?

[1kookykat]

Nycwriters, zenbabe and voxpop are doing an incredible job on that epic poem.

Novices, please just stand back and observe this one. These gals are hot!

See it here: Epic (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1047)

[amanda]

very nice, kids.

yeah, I've taken the spectator role in most of the fiction thread. montana is another fine example of the excellent writing talent that is around here.

[Frieda]

i wish i could, but my english isn't good enough! i love how it's developing! :)

[red]

Your English is great. It's our Dutch that sucks.

[Frieda]

:p thanks red, but i really shouldn't post in the fiction project. i do a lot of writing in dutch which is okay, but somehow i can't seem to find the right words in english.. i love to read everything though!

[Zyle]

I'm learning Dutch Frieda, I'd love to (try to) read some of your stuffs :p

[Frieda]

hey, i tried to make some translations of a couple of dutch songs by Acda & de Munnik.. my english isn't that good, so maybe you can check the translation? there's no rhyme in there yet either.

Slaap zacht, Elisabeth by Acda & de Munnik

Werd wakker in de namiddag
En Elisabeth was er niet
Met mijn ogen gesloten door het huis gegaan
Want echt zien wil ik het niet
Ik had zo graag dat je wel hier was
Maar waar je dan ook bent
Ik hoop dat ik daar ook mag komen, ooit
En dat je mij nog kent
Slaap zacht, Elisabeth
Niet iedereen kan een held zijn
Er moeten ook mensen gered
De truc is dansen op de gulden middenweg
En dat red ik nog maar net
Niemand die vertellen kan
Waarom en waarom jij
Ik sleep me naar de voordeur
En dan kijk ik is de middenweg al vrij

En ik zeg
Slaap zacht, Elisabeth
Soms zie ik je in de kleedkamer
Vlak voor het eerste lied
Soms zie ik je ineens tussen de mensen staan
Maar als ik later bij d'r weg ga was je 't niet
Ik weet dat je nooit meer komen zal
Maar ik hou vast aan wat het was
Vannacht droom ik ons weer als koningin
En koning van ons tweedehands matras

En ik zeg
Slaap zacht, Elisabeth
Slaap zacht
Elisabeth, slaap zacht

=======================

woke up late in the afternoon
and elisabeth wasn't there
went through the house with my eyes closed
'cause i don't really want to see
i would like you to be here
but wherever you are now
i hope one day i can go there too
and that you still know me

sleep well, elisabeth

not everybody can be a hero
people have to be saved too
the trick is dancing in the golden middle of the road
and i can barely make it there
nobody can tell me
why and why you
En ik want ik ben er nog
and me because i'm still here
i drag myself to the front door
and check if the middle of the road's already free

and i say
sleep well, elisabeth

sometimes i see you in the dressing room
right before the first song
sometimes i suddenly see you between all those people
but if i leave her later it wasn't you
i know you'll never come back again
but i hold on to what it was
tonight i dream of us again as queen
and king of our second-hand mattress

and i say
sleep well, elisabeth
sleep well
elisabeth, sleep well

[Zyle]

hey nice song :) The translation seems accurate to me, but I don't know anywhere near as much dutch as you know english, I can barely sting a sentence together ;) I can read it fairly well though, and understand what peopole are saying. Anyhoo, the only line that seems a little off was:

Maar als ik later bij d'r weg ga was je 't niet
but if i leave her later it wasn't you

am I right in thinking "als" can also be used to mean when? I think that might fit better. Other than that it all seems perfect to me :)

[Frieda]

yup, you're right! my mistake. it can be confusing sometimes! :) do you actually know the song?