This sucks

[noxxville]

Must go to work today. Grrrrr. I'll be checking this every now and then. Please people....make me laugh.

[moel]

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Doug stops him and asks, “Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?”

“I got it for my wife, eh.” answers Bob.

“Oh!” exclaims Doug, “Good trade.”

[lapietra]

A coupla teenage boys are walking down the street. One of them, a rather sheltered young man, is visiting his SoCal friend from the Midwest.
They're in Santa Monica, next to the beach, looking out toward the water at all the people. People are passing them on foot & on roller skates. A family with very loud children, a young couple with arms intertwined, a very buxom blonde woman in a bikini barely covering her ample curves.
Suddenly the young Midwesterner turns and bolts away. Stunned, his friend follows him, and finally catches up after about two blocks. "Dude! What the hell are you doin'?"
The young Midwesterner says to him, "Uh... well.... my mom told me... if I ever look at a naked woman, I'll turn to stone... and I felt something starting to get hard..."

Ba-DUM-bum.
(I know someone can do better than that :D)

[noxxville]

These are great...keep it comin!

[moel]

George W. Bush was thrilled at finally being able to spend his first night in the White House, but something very strange happened.

On the very first night, he was awakened by George Washington’s ghost. Bush asked the ghost, “President Washington, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?”

“Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised Washington.

With all the excitement of the White House, Bush still couldn’t sleep well, and then, later on that night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. “Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” Bush asked.

“Cut taxes and reduce the size of the government,” Jefferson answered.

Bush still couldn’t sleep well, so much later, on the same night he saw another ghostly figure moving in the shadows.

It was Abraham Lincoln’s ghost.

“Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?,” Bush asked.

Lincoln replied, “Go see a play.”

[noxxville]

hahahahahahha!

[moel]

A man is walking through the mall with his teen-age son. The son is tossing a quarter up in the air and catching it between his teeth. On one such attempt, the boy fails to clamp down with his teeth and ends up getting the quarter lodged in his throat. As the boy begins to choke and wheeze the father panicks and starts yelling for help.
Not to far from the action is a man sitting at a coffee shop reading a paper and drinking his coffee, when he hears the fathers distressed cries he patiently puts down his coffee and folds his paper, he then walks slowly over to the boy and grabs him by the balls and squeezes the shit out of them. The boy coughs up the quarter and the man catches it in his hand and proceeds to walk away with it, sitting back down to his coffee.

The amazed father runs over and says “Thank You Sir, you saved my son’s life, are you a Doctor?”
“No” the man replies, “I work for the IRS.”

[zenbabe]

hahahahha (http://www.pinkpages.ch/indexa.htm)

google fun (http://www.pinkpages.ch/indexa.htm)

[moel]

A man goes into a supermarket and buys a tube of toothpaste, a bottle of Pepsi, a bag of tortilla chips, and a frozen pizza. The cute girl at the register looks at him and says, "Single, huh?"

Sarcastically the guy sneers, "How’d you guess?"

She replies, "Because you’re ****ing ugly."

[noxxville]

I love that one......nothing like a mean-spirited attack to make me smile.

[zenbabe]

for those long rides home... (http://www.sextoyworld.com/dj0607.html)

hahahahha!

[noxxville]

Hahahahahahah...

*looking for credit card*

[zenbabe]

whats wrong with this picture? (http://images.google.com/images?q=%22john+ashcroft%22)

hahahaha..

[noxxville]

hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahj


can't stop laughing

[zenbabe]

my job here is done...

[lapietra]

HAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Amazing... I love it when things just turn out that way...