Best "Macho Movie"?

[MovieBud]

What is the best macho movie ever made? To be considered a "macho movie", it must contain most of these characteristics:

* The villain has no redeeming qualities.
* Things will be blown up.
* Guns will be fired and meaningless characters will be killed.
* The main character won't say much but he will say some catchy things.
* A woman or child will be kidnapped.
* There will be hand-to-hand combat to prove who is really the toughest.
* Someone will have a very cool vehicle.

[zenbabe]

maybe not the best, but I just watched XXX with Vin Diesel, and it definatly fits!

[noxxville]

Cobra.

* The villain has no redeeming qualities. check
* Things will be blown up. I think this happened
* Guns will be fired and meaningless characters will be killed. definate check
* The main character won't say much but he will say some catchy things. Sylvester Stallone? check
* A woman or child will be kidnapped. That had to have happened.
* There will be hand-to-hand combat to prove who is really the toughest. check
* Someone will have a very cool vehicle. check

Mainly this would be a good "Macho Movie" because, although being forced to watch it on at least 6 different occasions over the course of 10 years, I still have no idea what it was about or what exactly happens. I figure a great "Macho Man" movie would require no thought. This scores a definate check. I also vaugely remember that the villians only redeeming quality was that he was in psession of a rather ornate knife...that has to count for something. Couldn't tell you if it was good or bad, like I said, because I have no memory of the movie other than the following:

Villian has ornate Knife (mentioned)
Stallone has black car of some kind, big black aviator sunglasses and a toothpick

[beckstra]

It's a toss-up between Stop, Or My Mom Will Shoot! and The Naked Gun series.

[lapietra]

I don't think this is the *best* one, but the one that popped into my head ('cos they just showed it) is "The Wraith" with Charlie Sheen - I'm pretty sure it fulfills about 90% of those requirements...

Maybe it could be the best Junior Macho flick....

[Frieda]

Die Hard I, II & III

i love bruce willis!

[Red Princess]

what was the name of that sci-fi movie where the villains were giant bugs? oh yeah Starship Troopers. Bleah, crappy movie lots of carnage, lots of testostoerone, many things blown to bits, weaponry galore, gore galore

[Frieda]

how about assassins? sylvester stallone AND antonio banderas! weeeeeeeeeeee!

[Deviate]

i'd have to say Terminator II, hands down.

let's examine the elements:
big tough guy
big tough guy foreign accent
ROBOTS
soul-less shape-shifting robot of MASS DESTRUCTION
TIME TRAVEL
killing of innocent people in gruesome ways
killing of many police officers
computers
computer hacking
killer buff chick cocking grenade launchers one-handed
large industrial factory scene
liquid nitrogen
molten metal
SPARKS upon SPARKS
kidnapping of children
kidnapping of women
motorcycles
semis
tanker trucks
heliocopters
BOMBS
blowing up of motorocycles, semis, heliocopters, tanker trucks, not to mention large office buildings
WAR
THE END OF THE WORLD
tough guy RIPS HIS OWN ARM OFF to save the victims and saves THE WORLD from nuclear dedstruction
and an awesome plot to boot.

sorry, it wins.

-st.

[lapietra]

dev -
I just love the depth of analysis that went into your choice. :p

Can I be in one of your movies when you start making them?

preeze?

[rmr]

uh, Gladiator......I mean come on.....the best, i mean Russell Crow is a great actor and all, but him in a mini-skirt....he could save me any day.

[Red Princess]

aaahh yes, russell crowe in a skirt, in no skirt, in his altogether..... hmmm need more nyquil

[Deviate]

lala, sure babe. i'm gonna have films stocked to the ceiling with zemonkeys.

-st.

[dinzdale]

Beale is currently making a macho lawyer film.

Deposition Man

[Red Princess]

and i hear Dinz co-stars as the drooling st. bernard named Tippy