World Records No One Wants To Break

[l'azizza]

from CapnWacky.com


World's biggest disappointment.

Most amount of Guiness vomited in a single evening.

Most papercuts on tongue.

Longest crying jag.

Most motor oil in blood stream.

Most bran flakes up nose.

Weirdest intestine.

Most prescriptions.

Dances most like a librarian.

Most tarantulas in pants.

Sitting next to drunkest driver.

Glibbest.

Least special and/or record-worthy.

Most like a tomato.

Least likely to ever have a girlfriend ever. Or even a pet. Or a well made sandwich.

Most distended hernia.

Longest time in a headlock.

Lowest blood sugar.

Most lutefisk eaten in one sitting.

Biggest tapeworm.

Most simultaneous skin irritations.

Largest single surge vomit, by weight.

Largest single surge vomit, by volume.

Longest period spent living with mother.

Most words spelled.

Most criminal negligence charges dodged.

Largest throat.

Deepest hole in backyard.

Most threatening letters sent to the Times.

Most dog poop scooped.

Most winning lotto tickets lost.

Most vertebrae fused.

Loudest birth.

Most bar fights started over the lyrics of Bob Dylan songs.

Most viewings of Ishtar.

Most failed attempts at breaking a Guinness World Record.

Strongest ties to overbearing Ethnic mother.

Longest hair (singular).
Worst.

This thread was inspired by MB and is dedicated to BP and others like her that need a little funny/ silly/ goofy/ gross in their lives.

[l'azizza]

Most dislocated bones.

[l'azizza]

Largest body surface area covered in scabs.

[Odbe]

Highest density of pimples on skin.

[l'azizza]

Most profuse sweater.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

longest wait for a bulletin.zefrank.com page load

[brightpearl]

thanks for this thread, l'az. :D

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longest "dry spell"

[T.I.P.]

noisiest colleagues

[l'azizza]

Largest collection of genital warts.

[brightpearl]

biggest tooth

[T.I.P.]

biggest number of nipples

[brightpearl]

most plastic kitchen utensils inadvertently melted in a single evening

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

Hairiest nostrils

Most pus from single pimple

[lapietra]

cheesiest body odor

[lapietra]

most friends alienated

[lapietra]

most threads killed

[Hyakujo's Fox]

cheesiest body

[lapietra]

slowest on the uptake :p ;)

[Hyakujo's Fox]

most witty comebacks preempted by others :p

[lapietra]

most self-aggrandizing and -congratulatory

biggest douchebag

top self-flaggelator

most apologies needed within the shortest time period

[brightpearl]

most skin

[Hyakujo's Fox]

least skin

[brightpearl]

^Doood, that's worse than mine. :eek: Yeech!



longest mole hair

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

Most gland-like personality:o

Most mucus produced within a 24 hour peroid

[l'azizza]

^ objective rather than sub, please.

Least number of finger/ toe nails.

[T.I.P.]

biggest lower jaw

[brightpearl]

longest toe

[lapietra]

most [insert personality disorder here]

[seebe]

Loudest swishing noise of thighs rubbing together when walking.

[l'azizza]

Largest area of callouses on inner thighs.

[auntie aubrey]

most vestigial organs.

[T.I.P.]

longest consecutive time spent inside office

[seebe]

Most times having unprotected sex with complete strangers.

[Tunesmith]

most insects accidentally eaten

[Tunesmith]

largest wad of Kleenex accumulated over the course of a single cold

[Tunesmith]

this one's a two parter:

greatest number of racist comments made in one hour
and
most people offended by a single racist comment

[Tunesmith]

biggest lolcat collection

[Hyakujo's Fox]

most pathetic noxx

[Coffee]

Most STD's picked up in a week.

[l'azizza]

Thickest hairball coughed up by a humanoid.

[Master_Jedi]

largest ingrown toenail

[l'azizza]

Largest mound of uncooked potatoes in front yard.

[lukkucairi]

longest period without being able to breathe out of right nostril

[l'azizza]

"Man gets hit by car, sets world record "

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22157250/?GT1=10645

MSN has the strangest headlines, they really draw me in.

[l'azizza]

Oiliest ducts.

[l'azizza]

Least amount of insulation in one's home.

[Marcus Bales]

longest sexual coupling without orgasm

[Earthling]

shortest sexual coupling with orgasm

[trisherina]

earliest peaker

[Marcus Bales]

most romance novels written

[T.I.P.]

earliest flight departure time

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

the highest number of dreams deferred

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

largest piece of food stuck in teeth for an entire workday.

[Marcus Bales]

number of avatar thefts

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

Most Bitter Victim of Avatar Theft

[Marcus Bales]

Most Flagrant Mocker of Victims of Avatar Theft

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

The highest number of contracted STD


We ran out of condoms last night, but I turned some inside out and washed them on the advice of Hoyt and Ysapur, but do you know what? They slip off because there's still oils and lubricants on what used to be the outside! So there we were ... what? What?


Marcus, please, please don't derive your ideas of evening fun from the thread of extremely misguided notions! The world needs unlikey visual poets...

[Marcus Bales]

Longest association by a non-visual poet with visual poets. And crap, I own it.

[l'azizza]

Longest unrelenting series of Charlie Horses.

[lukkucairi]

most telemarketing-interrupted dinners

[brightpearl]

loudest cat

[Marcus Bales]

longest cat-fight

[Brynn]

longest cat

[trisherina]

most importunate

[lukkucairi]

most obscure and persistent Bee Gees ohrwurm

[Brynn]

most blutwurst eaten in a movie theatre while watching Chariots of Fire

[Brynn]

most threads killed :o

[magdalen]

unfinest hour :(