This Is The Thread Where We Have An Announcement To Make...

[beckstra]

I understand this is about three months overdue, in fact, I may have already put this out there, but it excites me to no end. I got my dream job. I'm the director of youth ministries for a Presbyterian church. I get to lead teenagers in the way they should go.

Pray for them. Ha!

[Jack Flanders]

Ha!! Good for you!! Have fun and keep on dancing!

[craig johnston]

which way should they go?

:confused:

[Coffee]

The "right" way...dumbass.:rolleyes::p

[brightpearl]

I would like to announce that I am happy for beckstra. :)

[trisherina]

Let's say I'm a gay teenager. I hold hands with my same-sex peer when we go off to do outreach work at the soup kitchen. Sometimes we stand with an arm looped around one another's waists. We can't get enough of one another!

Elder Belcher observes this and advises the senior minister to tell you to "get these kids under control." He duly does. What do you do?

[madasacutsnake]

There used to be this bird at work who would get pregnant "because the guy will love you more when the baby arrives". She also used to pass out prescription drugs in the staffroom. We would joke that she missed her calling as a high school counsellor. Beckstra will do a better job, I'm sure.

[Brynn]

Congratulations, Beckstra! How has it been going for you? Have you been doing this for three months now?

[beckstra]

Well, first question: I have my first gay teenager. He either doesn't know it yet, or if he does, he hasn't come forward with anything. If he does, I'll love him and squeeze him and keep him for my very own (just as I did with my best guy friend in high school). If the elders felt the need to complain (I think the Presbyterians are beginning to lean the same way as the Episcopalians these days), I would assure them that I have everything under control, and that I was put to the duty of leading the kids for a reason.

Second question: The kids I'm watching over go to the school with the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state(!). Half of my kids are having sex (before me even, boo). We'll be having the sex talk in the next month and a half. There's a stash of condoms in the bottom of my file cabinet. They don't know that yet, but there is. I called around to the school. They have a parenting class and a daycare and still aren't passing out or making prophylactics available. I've talked to the senior pastor. We agree that the right needs aren't being met. *sigh*

Last question: I love it. It's my dream job. I'm not just blowing smoke out my ass either.

[trisherina]

Clearly not.

[lukkucairi]

I'd like to announce that I second beryl's announcement.

Congrats, Beckstra :)

[Anna]

live to work, congrats!

[madasacutsnake]

Half of my kids are having sex (before me even, boo).

That must truly suck, lol.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

just remember teenagers are insane and you'll do okay.

[brightpearl]

^we'd all do well to remember that everyone is insane. :)

[Frieda]

congrats beck! :) well done!

[Coffee]

Right on Beckstra.:cool:

[funkytuba]

Pray for them. Ha!

Pray for them? Pray for you!

glad you're happy!

[madasacutsnake]

I just gotta do it.

SQUEEEEEEEEE WEEEEEE FREEEEEES!

[Stephi_B]

Congrats Beckstra!!!

:)


^we'd all do well to remember that everyone is insane. :)

Aye! :D Maybe grown-ups just feel saner cos they think about / analyse their insane state more often ;)

[craig johnston]

^we'd all do well to remember that everyone is insane. :)

this is nonsense. if it were true, the word would lose it's meaning.
it's like saying everyone is special.
you might say that everyone has an element of insanity in them,
but that is something different.

[lukkucairi]

^^ it's just another way of saying reality is a socially-negotiated construct.

everybody IS speshal! but pearly is speshaler than speshal though :D

I would like to announce that my lungs are full of jellyfish. I think that's pretty speshal.

[beckstra]

Sounds painful.

In more heartening news, I find out next Wed if I get to keep my job (had a 90 day probation period)...if that goes well, I can move into my first apartment. Iiiieeee!!!

[Jack Flanders]

Luck to you Beck!!

[daverbee]

I would like to congratulate Becks and also announce that I'm not dead. At least as far as I know...

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'd like to extend my congratulations to daver on the occasion of his not being dead.

[daverbee]

I'd like to give my thanks to H-fox for his congratulations to me and also say that I hope he's in the same condition considering his avatar is a decapitated head in a box.

[Marcus Bales]

I'd like to announce that Wednesday is the new Tuesday!

[brightpearl]

I'd like to announce that I think I have a tapeworm.

[lukkucairi]

I'd like to announce that tapeworms have been found to suppress allergic response.

[brightpearl]

I'd like to announce that I was telling someone that ^ just the other day.

[Peregrine]

I'd like to announce that tapeworms have been found to suppress allergic response.

As much as I'd prefer to avoid parasitic infections, I can't help but wonder if that knowledge would have resulted in my being able to tolerate bright lights, had I known about it last Friday.

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

I would like to announce that I am now officially old as I have been informed by my doctor that I have high blood pressure. (could it be all the meth and crack?)
:mad:

[brightpearl]

^You can lower it just by breathing slowly for a few minutes a day (http://www.nature.com/jhh/journal/v15/n4/abs/1001147a.html). You don't need any of the devices that are sold for it...just take a slow, deep breath, counting, hold the breath for the same count, and then exhale for the same count plus one.

[Marcus Bales]

Stick with me, here -- read it through, there's a connection.

The Kings
A D Hope

The lion in deserts royally takes his prey;
Gaunt crags cast back the hunting eagle's scream.
The King of Parasites, delicate, white and blind,
Ruling his world of fable even as they,
Dreams out his greedy and imperious dream
Immortal in the bellies of mankind.

In a rich bath of pre-digested soup,
Warm in the pulsing bowel, safely shut
From the bright ambient horror of sun and air,
is slender segments ripening loop by loop,
Broods the voluptuous monarch of the gut,
The Tapeworm, the prodigious Solitaire.

Alone among the royal beasts of prey
He takes no partner, no imperial mate
Seeks his embrace and bears his clamorous brood;
Within himself, in soft and passionate play,
Two sexes in their vigour celebrate
The raptures of helminthine solitude.

From the barbed crown that hooks him to his host,
The limble ribbon, fecund, flat and wet
Sways as the stream's delicious juices move;
And as the ripe joints rupture and are lost,
Quivers in the prolonged, delirious jet
And spasm of unremitting acts of love.

And Nature no less prodigal in birth
In savage profusion spreads his royal sway:
Herds are his nurseries till the mouths of men
At public feasts, or the domestic hearth,
Or by the hands of children at their play,
Transmit his line to human flesh again.

The former times, as emblems of an age,
Graved the gier-eagle's pride, the lion's great heart,
Leviathan sporting in the perilous sea;
Pictured on History's, or the Muse's page,
All knew the King, the Hero, set apart
To stand up stiff against calamity,

Breed courage amid a broken nation's groans,
Cherish the will in men about to die,
To chasten with just rule a barbarous tribe
And guard, at last the earth that kept his bones.
And still the Muse, who does not flatter or lie,
Finds for our age a symbol to describe.

The secret life of Technocratic Man,
Abject desire, base fear that shapes his law,
His idols of the cave, the mart, the sty -
No lion at bay for a beleaguered clan,
No eagle with the serpent in his claw,
Nor dragon soter with his searing eye,

But the great, greedy, parasitic worm,
Sucking the life of nations from within
Blind and degenerate, snug in excrement.
`Behold your dream!' she says. `View here the form
And mirror of Time, the Shape you trusted in
While your world crumbled and my heavens were rent.'

[Frieda]

i'd like to announce that i've been officially diagnosed with ADD.



and i also would like to announce that 'm really curious if beck's had a good 90-day conversation!

[craig johnston]

oooh, frieda's good at sums!
but can she also subtarct?

:)

[Coffee]

pffft...Frieda surely you are too old to be diagnosed with AD....oh look, butterflys.

[Frieda]

^ :D yeah exactly

it's a miracle i made it this far if you ask me-- i've always wondered why it was so easy for other people to just lead their lives, remember stuff, not being late all the time or in a hurry, have a healthy social life and not having their house full of junk scattered all over the floor. or study or something. and now i'm getting someone to teach me some tricks to manage my life! :)

[T.I.P.]

it's a miracle i made it this far if you ask me-- i've always wondered why it was so easy for other people to just lead their lives, remember stuff, not being late all the time or in a hurry, have a healthy social life and not having their house full of junk scattered all over the floor. or study or something.

carp...it sounds like i have AD&D too :o

[Frieda]

^ could be.. or you could be a hypochondriac ;) :p

[lukkucairi]

^^nah...it's just that all the cool people have ADD :p

[Peregrine]

carp...it sounds like i have AD&D too :o

I played that game once. I got killed by an elf.

(jokes for nerds)

[brightpearl]

^:D

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

i'd like to announce that i've been officially diagnosed with ADD.
it's a miracle i made it this far if you ask me-- i've always wondered why it was so easy for other people to just lead their lives, remember stuff, not being late all the time or in a hurry, have a healthy social life and not having their house full of junk scattered all over the floor. or study or something. and now i'm getting someone to teach me some tricks to manage my life!

Amen & pass the beernuts!

The only reason I found out I had high BP was because I had to get a physical before I could get any good drugs for...

wait for it...

Severe Adult ADD *bum bum bum*

Frieda, you are not alone.
And it makes a huge diffeence once you realize that you are not the f*ck up you always thought you were.



:mad:

[lukkucairi]

I'd like to announce that I have a gallery show opening this evening at 6pm MST.

you are all invited :)

[T.I.P.]

I played that game once. I got killed by an elf.


that elf was me ! I sent you a magic missile.

I'd like to announce that I have a gallery show opening this evening at 6pm MST.

you are all invited :)

Congarts ! take pics and post...



I would like to announce that I just sent my thesis to the reporting Professors.

woohoo

it's miller time :D

[Frieda]

Amen & pass the beernuts!

The only reason I found out I had high BP was because I had to get a physical before I could get any good drugs for...

wait for it...

Severe Adult ADD *bum bum bum*

Frieda, you are not alone.
And it makes a huge diffeence once you realize that you are not the f*ck up you always thought you were.



:mad:
thank you, it is a relief indeed :) i've always felt incapable of dealing with the most simple things in life. i'm sure my problems aren't going to go away anytime soon, but at least i now know why. and it helps :)


I'd like to announce that I have a gallery show opening this evening at 6pm MST.

you are all invited :)

congrats! woo hoo! :D

and congrats to tippy-- you can be proud! :)

[Peregrine]

I'd like to announce that I have a gallery show opening this evening at 6pm MST.

you are all invited :)

I regret that I cannot attend, as I have no way of getting to Utah in time for the event. Congratulations, though.

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

I'd like to announce that I have a gallery show opening this evening at 6pm MST.

you are all invited :)

Will there be free food?
(Grats!)






:mad:

[lukkucairi]

yes, of course there will be free food :D

unfortunately I think the state of Utah won't let us give away wine though :(

[T.I.P.]

how do you expect to attarct any people if there is no cheap wine and aperitifs ?

freeloading is the only real reason people go to vernissages around my neck of the woods

[lukkucairi]

TIP, if you come out I'll make sure you get your free wine

...errr...whine :p

[auntie aubrey]

i'd like to announce that i have a hole in my sock and my feet are fuh-REEEzing!

[Stephi_B]

Congrats to lukku & TIP :)

[craig johnston]

i didn't know what ADD was, so i went to wikipedia (natch) and they say the symptoms are:

Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities.
Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions).
Often has trouble organizing activities.
Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
Is often easily distracted.
Is often forgetful in daily activities.

it sounds like being a human. who doesn't avoid homework? who
doesn't lose things? i think i may have had this all my life.

:)

not to make light of your problem frieda

[Frieda]

^ oh sure! but i guess as long as it doesn't bother you, you don't have to worry, right? :)

for me, daily life is a struggle. i would probably lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body :eek:

[trisherina]

i didn't know what ADD was, so i went to wikipedia (natch) and they say the symptoms are:

Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities.
Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions).
Often has trouble organizing activities.
Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
Is often easily distracted.
Is often forgetful in daily activities.



And sadly this is about the extent of the diagnostic assessment in many instances i.e. a single office visit, when in truth multiple valid and reliable methods in multiple situations should be used, including but not limited to intelligence testing, memory testing, learning and academic testing, decent clinical observation and mental status examination, ruling out differentials like giftedness etc. etc. etc.

[Jack Flanders]

And sadly this is about the extent of the diagnostic assessment in many instances i.e. a single office visit, when in truth multiple valid and reliable methods in multiple situations should be used, including but not limited to intelligence testing, memory testing, learning and academic testing, decent clinical observation and mental status examination, ruling out differentials like giftedness etc. etc. etc.

... and sadly they then script the meds to the kids before serious testing - I'VE SEEN IT.

[brightpearl]

I'd like to announce that I've accepted that I've failed at something that was really important to me.
http://www.babiescantread.com/images/Acceptance-red.jpg

[auntie aubrey]

i lied in my profile. i wasn't born on april fool's day. i'm pulling a bit of a policy reversal by mentioning it but it's been a really great day and i just felt like sharing, dammit.

IT'S THE SECOND ANNIVERSARY OF MY 29TH BIRTHDAY AND I'M GETTING OLD!

this post belongs here (http://bulletin.zefrank.com/showthread.php?t=7162).

[auntie aubrey]

oh shit, what a page turner. :o

[Frieda]

well, congratulations auntie! :)

what made your day so good? nice presents, nice people?

[Odbe]

I'd like to announce I'm starting on a two week work placement today and it's scary so wish me luck.

[Tunesmith]

^ Best of luck, Odbe! Where are you interning?

[brightpearl]

I'd like to announce that I've finally figured out who zero reminds me of.

A.A. Milne

[auntie aubrey]

what made your day so good? nice presents, nice people?

did a lot of fun things starting with a 3D imax movie that was awesome. received a huge haul of lush stuff, too. all around it was just a really good day. and i'm not the sort who really enjoys birthdays so this was a nice change.

[Odbe]

^ Best of luck, Odbe! Where are you interning?

At a local veterinary surgery. I've volunteered there before, but that was only cleaning out the kennels out the back. Now that I've done a day there it's less scary because I know what they expect of me - cleaning some other rooms as well :rolleyes:
Nah, not just that, I saw three operations yesterday and they were fascinating. According to the vets they're always busy in November, so I got a good time to come :)

[craig johnston]

have you stuck your hand up a cow yet?

:eek:

[Frieda]

^ i thought you were into asian chicks? :confused:

[madasacutsnake]

You know they're opening a vet school here next year?

http://www.dest.gov.au/Ministers/Media/Bishop/2007/09/B008110907.asp

[Marcus Bales]

You know they're opening a vet school here next year?

http://www.dest.gov.au/Ministers/Media/Bishop/2007/09/B008110907.asp

Come to Australia -- stick your hand up a cow!

[zero]

have you stuck your hand up a cow yet?

^that's all dj's think about

[Coffee]

^ i thought you were into asian chicks?

no...he wishes he were in asian chicks.

[T.I.P.]

i would like to announce that i just understood the play on words in "Cheeses Save".

I think 6 months is the longest time I've ever taken to understand a joke (a pun, at that). :o

[Tunesmith]

^ ohhh... :rolleyes:

That makes me think of the time I was at the grocery store and overheard a little boy repeatedly asking his mother if he could "eat the baby cheeses." (http://www.babybel.it/archivio/images/babybel.jpg) :D

[Jack Flanders]

^^^ :confused: and I always thought that my uncle's car was a *Jesus Chrysler* !

[trisherina]

^ ohhh... :rolleyes:

That makes me think of the time I was at the grocery store and overheard a little boy repeatedly asking his mother if he could "eat the baby cheeses." (http://www.babybel.it/archivio/images/babybel.jpg) :D

My dad used to tell the same joke every Christmas.

Drunk calls over the bartender. "Bartender, do lemons have feathers?" The bartender tells him no, and he shudders. "Then I think I just squeezed your canary into my drink."

I have tried to perpetrate a similar horror on my own family of procreation. Every Christmas I intone to the assembled, "That's what Christmas is all about. Baby cheeses," while setting out the Babybels. Most of the extended family is so pie-eyed that they laugh afresh year after year.

[Coffee]

i would like to announce that i just understood the play on words in "Cheeses Save".

Well...6 months IS pretty long :rolleyes: . But then, it isn't blindingly obvious since it doesn't say "Saves", which didn't really scan with "Cheeses".

So, you're forgiven. Cheese-is good like that. :p :D

[Frieda]

i'd like to announce that i'm going to send out a batch of monkey mail at the end of the week and if any of you kids want a postcard from the NLs too, PM me your address! :)

[madasacutsnake]

Kim: Here's your statue, Mum.
Kath: Oh, what for the love of God is that?
Kim: It's the statue you wanted.
Kath: What? No it's not, Kim.
Kim: Yes it is, it's a statue of little baby cheeses.
Kath: Little baby cheeses? Oh little baby *Jesus*, Kim, *Jesus*.
[Exasperated]
Kath: Oh, Jesus.


Announcement: I got a pay rise.

[auntie aubrey]

announcement: my "puppy" now weighs almost 60 lbs.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2078/2049936367_3823d3af13.jpg

look at him. he's considering eating you to fuel his unprecedented growth.

[T.I.P.]

^ if i had nice carpeting like that at home i would stop using my legs and drag myself around on my forearms

[auntie aubrey]

^ that doesn't even begin to make sense.

[T.I.P.]

i would drag myself around like that just to get the nice sensation of carpeting all over my body

you're right it doesn't really make sense

[lukkucairi]

^^ TIP has a rug-burn fetish?

hm!

[T.I.P.]

i've never acted on it, so technically it's more of a fantasm at this point

[Frieda]

i can relate to that feeling

couple of years ago i had this white plush rug, every single visitor touched it with their hands, some preferred to sit down on it instead of on a chair or on the couch, some tried to roll on it. it's comforting. like a big flat teddy bear on the floor!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The best thing about Kettle Chilli chips is that they are way too hot.

[JesusTitties]

I would like to announce that Spiderman 3 sucks big hairy balls. I do not like hollywood action films i find all of them really boring. I got suckered into watching S3 the other day and I would rather watch paint dry.

[Odbe]

:eek: I went over 1000 posts!

[Brynn]

Congratulations, Odbe. It's a solemn moment of official business.:)
ahhh, I remember my first thousand posts. It's a heady moment.

Well, my announcement is that I've been given a new (barely used) flute. I was missing my old flute very badly, and now I don't. At all.

[Marcus Bales]

Ah, a new barely used flute! There's nothing like a new barely used flute to make one forget the ex-flute.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

now when you say barely used...

[craig johnston]

does that mean the person who used it was undressed?

:confused:

[Frieda]

no, because someone who is barely dressed is not necessarily barely used.

erm :confused: :eek:

[Brynn]

all too true. I will be knitting a cozy for it as soon as possible.

[Marcus Bales]

Flute cozies for sale! Have you always thought your flute needed a cozy, and couldn't find one? Now you can! Made of 100% cashmere, designed by Brynn, and hand-knitted as in authentic Appalachian hollers by authentic Appalachian hand-knitting machines, these flute cozies will keep your flute warm even on the chilliest days. Red, Black, Beige, and Blue. Sizes large, extra large, and whoa nellie. $119 plus shipping and handling.

[Frieda]

i'd like to announce that i am allergic to:


cosmetics, soap, lotions, lip balm, shampoos, etc
furniture polish
shoe polish
textile and leather impregnation liquids (like on rain coats and in shoe sprays)
ski wax
electricity wire coating
corrosion filler for metals
ink
paint
hypoallergenic bandages

[Marcus Bales]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRtyrexF6OQEnglebert Humperdinck is dead. (about 8:04 on the video)

No, he's not.

Yes he is.

No, I'm just joking.

(No I'm not)

Yes I am, I'm just joking.

No, really, he was in Cedar Sinai on the operating table, and ...

No!

Uh huh.

uh uh.

[l'azizza]

I think this wine has gone bad.

[Marcus Bales]

Seriously. Brynn -- I need to get to the store!

[brightpearl]

I bought a new bed.

It's squishy.

[Frieda]

i would like to announce that i will be away for a week, enjoying my vacation. if the world doesn't come to an end, of course!

:)

[Stephi_B]

^Wish you a fine time!! :)

[tapanuli]

I'm moving out.

[brightpearl]

^Heya Taps.
Good for you.
:)

[Odbe]

I'd like to announce that I'll be on hiatus for the rest of the week, in, of all places, the beautiful Tazzer-mania. That's the little bite-sized island at the bottom of Australia.

[lukkucairi]

I'm announcing my deep-rooted phobia of carpools.

There's one coming to pick me up in 40 minutes. May the lord have mercy upon my soul.

[Marcus Bales]

I've been workin' on the railroad.

[Tunesmith]

ID JUST LIKE TO ANNOUN-

...er, I'd just like to announce that the "pointless stuff in caps" thread is officially my favorite thing on teh whole webbernet.

[lukkucairi]

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XgDrJ5Z2rKw&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XgDrJ5Z2rKw&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

[auntie aubrey]

my tummy hurts. :(

[brightpearl]

my head aches. :(

and I smell pickles. :( :( :(

[Jack Flanders]

Chocolate Creme Pie - gone!!!:) :) :) ;)

[Brynn]

I'd like to announce that I will be in New York in June, and I'd like suggestions of any kind whatsoever:) :cool: :) :cool: :) :) :)

[topcat]

new york as in new york city?

[Brynn]

yessir! I have not been there for years, so I need some great places to go again, and - if anyone wants to, it would be fun to meet a zemonkey or two for drinks or coffee while I'm there...pm me or board, no difference :)

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

MEET UP WITH T.I.P here...
(Is great place to search for while exploring - even if you don't eat meat.)

T.I.P., GO TO:
Crif Dogs
113 Saint Marks Place in the East Village
(Between Ave A & 1st Ave)

Order a Tsunami Dog.
It will fix everything & you will no longer question your decision to move to NY.


http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/6477/dscn1104bx3mt4.jpg

[Brynn]

That's definitely on the list

[Marcus Bales]

I've finished breakfast!

[lukkucairi]

I'm about to make some tea!

[Frieda]

^ and ^^

i'm so proud of you guys :o

[T.I.P.]

i just had a bagel with eggs and a coffee with half and half and two sugars.

To go.

[T.I.P.]

yessir! I have not been there for years, so I need some great places to go again, and - if anyone wants to, it would be fun to meet a zemonkey or two for drinks or coffee while I'm there...pm me or board, no difference :)

We should ze-meet at Crif Dogs - there is a speakeasy around there there that i've been wanting to visit since i got here but haven't gotten around to (i am sworn to secrecy and cannot reveal the location in advance).

pm me a few weeks in advance to remind me that you are coming and i will try to investigate some fun things for you to do while you are here ;)

[Coffee]

A secret speakeasy? Isn't that an oxymoron?

[T.I.P.]

i would say it is more of a pleonasm than an oxymoron.

Wow this wikipedia entry says there are still 23 speakeasies left over from the 20's in New York City!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speakeasy

sounds like i have more some historical sightseeing to do :rolleyes:

[Brynn]

All over that, Tiny! Sounds marvelous!
I'll pm you...

[lukkucairi]

I wish I were going to NYC!

[Tunesmith]

I've decided to try and teach myself Khoomei throat singing. :cool:

[trisherina]

I'll be down in the blind pig with Jack Flanders and snake.

[Frieda]

you'll be where?? :eek: :confused:

[lukkucairi]

i'm tired but I can't sleep any more.

[Marcus Bales]

I have three cats laying on my legs!

[trisherina]

Wow oviparous felines!

[Marcus Bales]

Well, they're not lying!

[lukkucairi]

Marcus administers feline polygraph tests!

[l'azizza]

Ralph Nader is in the running.

[lukkucairi]

SHHHHH!

[Jack Flanders]

Too late. ARRRGGGG!!!!! FVVVVVVK! NOOOO!!!

[Jack Flanders]

I'll be down in the blind pig with Jack Flanders and snake.

I'm flattered -- you -- snake !!! yey! girls! Don't forget Landscape!!!!! :D

[T.I.P.]

it's way past my bedtime but i might get a role in an amateur zombie movie so it was totally worth it for me to stay out past my bedtiem woo hoo !

[Frieda]

^ one of those that keeps being advertised in the fiction project? :eek:

[lukkucairi]

it's way past my bedtime but i might get a role in an amateur zombie movie so it was totally worth it for me to stay out past my bedtiem woo hoo !

preparing for your role? I wouldn't have pegged you as a method actor :p

[Veruki]

I'd like to announce I just went through what reports are calling a "MASSIVE" power outage in FL. It started at 1pm and ended at 2:15pm in my area. It's expected to completely blow over by 5.
I'd also like to add that since I've been born I been through more then 5 hurricanes, and countless other tropical storms, and that the local news reporters sound totally un-creditable when that call what happened today "MASSIVE".

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

I would like to announce that I agree with and sympathize with Veruki.
And also to add that I am so amazingly tired of the fatalistic tendencies of today's media reporting style.

"Could breathing be killing you?!" Watch News12 at 11 to find out!

[Frieda]

hm let's see what's the news says here--

"large power disruption in Florida"

and then some stuff about people getting stuck in elevators and traffic jams and "according to the USA media 4,4 million people are struck because a nuclear power plant shut down due to safety issues (not by a terrorist act). this statement has not yet been confirmed by local authorities".

[Veruki]

"large power disruption in Florida"


This is really the best way describe what happened, but, like everything else in Miami, it's gets blown out of proportion.

FYI- It was caused by the nuclear plant shutting itself down on account of the fact that not enough outside power was coming in to keep it stable.

[Anna]

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[Marcus Bales]

I am mundificant!

[lukkucairi]

I have tendinitis in my right thumb!

[Marcus Bales]

I've just been to the bathroom, and I had one of those experiences that makes it feel as if I've just gone down one whole pants size.

[Frieda]

^ bowel movement thread (http://bulletin.zefrank.com/showthread.php?t=5641)

[brightpearl]

Aluminum foil origami is loud!
:mad:

[lukkucairi]

yes, but the resulting hats help keep the government from controlling your brainwaves, so stick with it :)

[auntie aubrey]

attention!

today is pi day (http://www.piday.org/). the moment you are officially invited to celebrate is 3/14 at 1:59 pm. please enjoy a piece of pie to celebrate pi day.

that is all.

[Peregrine]

Beware the Ides of March!

[Large Marge]

other people exist.


just thought you'd like to know.

[l'azizza]

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/2245/angelfeeteditdd6.jpg

[lukkucairi]

I would like to announce that I have less than four weeks to go before my securities exam:
AAAAAAHHHH!!
AAAAAAHHHH!!
AAAAAAHHHH!!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

You mean your insecurities exam?

[lukkucairi]

no, I've examined those QUITE enough thanks.

I would like to announce that I will pass this exam. But it will be a pain in the fvckken ass, mainly because I never suspected there was so much to learn about municipal debt securities.

I will be happy in May :)

[T.I.P.]

attention!

today is pi day (http://www.piday.org/). the moment you are officially invited to celebrate is 3/14 at 1:59 pm. please enjoy a piece of pie to celebrate pi day.

that is all.

and so I did.

It was delicious.

[Jack Flanders]

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/2245/angelfeeteditdd6.jpg

So? Are congratulations in order here???? :)

[l'azizza]

Thanks Jack. My sister's Most Precious Baby Ever.

[auntie aubrey]

we got the house.

http://www.secraterri.com/faint.jpg

[Avalon]

http://www.comments.zingerbugimages.com/congratulations/congratulations_purple_glitter.gif

[Frieda]

wowowwowoowowoowow! congratulations! :):)

[lukkucairi]

I would like to announce my happiness that aubs now has a roof to call her own.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

we got the house.



http://xs3.xoospace.com/myspace/graphics/24211.gif

[brightpearl]

That's great, auntie! I'm sure you've already gotten to work on things to fill up the extra space!
:D

[auntie aubrey]

i'm now having irrational fears that something's going to go wrong between now and closing. there's an inspection and an appraisal and the actual factual lender paperwork process to go through. any one of those goes wrong and we could tank.

SEE WHAT AN OPTIMIST I AM?!?! :rolleyes:

[Odbe]

Happy for you! :D

[Hyakujo's Fox]

congratulations auntie! :) wishing you many happy memories to come!

[auntie aubrey]

thanks to everyone for the well wishes. and also for putting up with my kvetching throughout this process.

[auntie aubrey]

http://www.gofalldown.com/cacophony/myimages/UltrasoundTwinssm.jpg

your auntie: i see the baby, but what's that thing next to it?
your auntie's doctor: that's your other baby.
your auntie: ...
your auntie's doctor: yep. looks like you've got twins on the way.

http://www.secraterri.com/faint.jpg

[auntie aubrey]

also, i promise to teach them to scream in restaurants and run around other diners' tables shouting "eee aaa eee aaa!"

[lukkucairi]

AAAAAAAAAHHHH CONGRATULATIONS!!!! :D

:D :D :D :D :D

[brightpearl]

I know something you all knooooooooow...
:D

The babies are going to have a lot of ze monkeys for uncles...and aunties...

[brightpearl]

This is all like 101 Dalmatians and stuff.
:D

[lukkucairi]

not like you'd know anyone who's ever written a knockoff of 101 dalmatians, by ANY means :D

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Oooh, congratulations!

A double Christmasey present for a lifetime!

http://www.coolest-christmas-holidays.com/images/twins-in-Christmas-holiday.jpg

[brightpearl]

not like you'd know anyone who's ever written a knockoff of 101 dalmatians, by ANY means :D

:D :D :D

Well, let's have the due date then, auntie! Oct-Nov?

[trisherina]

Bitchin way to slack off during the house move.

[Jack Flanders]

Man oh man!!! Not just raining. Not just pouring. It's a frickin' Monsoon!!!! No wonder the nesting urge is at full throttle. Bless you ALL! And keep calm through the next phase of home buying.

[T.I.P.]

for some reason i missed this thread earlier this week, or else I would have said

WOW! :eek:

*** CONGRATULATIONS AUNTIE all my best wishes to you and your hub ***


I have no doubt that you guys will secure a pleasant nest for your little ones, in due time.

[Coffee]

Wowzers Aunti!

Gratz on the new home and the new family to house in it!!!

[l'azizza]

Congrats AA!

You and my sister must have sat on the same toilet.

[zero]

http://digilander.libero.it/tribers/smilies/baby.gif http://digilander.libero.it/tribers/smilies/baby.gif

[Hyakujo's Fox]

More great news. Congratulations auntie and uncle! :)

Too much time spent in the doppelganger thread I imagine.

[Frieda]

congratulations! wooooo fvcking hoooooo!! :D:D:D

[12"razormix]

best wishes auntie! http://bulletin.zefrank.com/images/icons/icon14.gif

[auntie aubrey]

Bitchin way to slack off during the house move.

oh yes. i'm already taking advantage of it. we went yesterday to get a quote on hardwood floors and the customer service person tried to explain how easy it would be for us to install it ourselves. i said, "lady, i'm pregnant. i'm not installing shit."

i also speak to the spouse about painting in terms of, "when you paint..."

[auntie aubrey]

and thank you to everyone for the well wishes. now i've just got to stay healthy and keep my fingers crossed that both babies do the same.

good lord. two babies?!

[brightpearl]

AAAahahahahahaha!

Sinking in now, is it?
:D

My son's best friends are twins. They're lovely and they're built-in best friends forever, after the initial few months when you're going to need some help, they'll entertain each other more than an only child would, and you're going to have a wonderful time.

[Frieda]

and you were complaining that that house was too big for you.. :D

[auntie aubrey]

^ don't i know it! :rolleyes: i think i said the words, "someday we might want a second child" too often and i ended up jinxing us! in a good way.


my dad said, "well you know the old saying. if you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans."

[priceyfatprude]

That is too cool!!! :D :D :D :D :D Congrats to you & Mr Auntie!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

[Stephi_B]

WOOOOOOW!!!! :D

(memo to myself: check this thread daily in future!)


Congrats to you and your husband! :) :) :) :)
Twenty tiny toes.... :) :) :) :)
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b99/bynumphoto/photography2/Beckey02.jpg

[seebe]

Congratulations Auntie.

[lukkucairi]

I'd like to announce that in honor of my recent career efforts and the fvcked-up state of the world economy in general, I will be constructing a giant, gold-leafed, 3-sided, dollar-sign-shaped shrine for Burning Man this year. It'll be torched on Friday at sunset, 156 days from now.

It's participatory art. If you'd like to collaborate, write a sentiment you'd dearly love to see go up in smoke on a HELLO MY NAME IS sticker (or five) and send it to me:

Disappearing Benjamin
P.O. Box 521342
Salt Lake City, UT 84152-1342

picture (http://flickr.com/photos/lukkucairi/2215052376/)

The stickers will be stuck on the back of the 8-foot-tall $ components. If you'll be out on the playa this year come find the $hrine in person and sign your name across its heart with a sharpie.

[auntie aubrey]

^ good idea. with all that adhesive and paint going up in smoke, another good idea would be to stand upwind.

[lukkucairi]

plywood and paper mache with flour-paste glue - nontoxic tempera size - gilding leaf, not paint :)

since I'm going to increase the CO2 load of the atmosphere in the name of disposable art, I'm powering the fwcker with a 3A solar array (night lighting).

[brightpearl]

brightpearl hearts lulu

[Frieda]

please instruct me on the whats and wheres and hows of a HELLO MY NAME IS sticker :confused:

[brightpearl]

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/3134949/2/istockphoto_3134949_hello_my_name_is.jpg

They're pre-printed so you can just write your name on them at conferences and stuff. Enough of a cultural icon that they're frequently used for jokes.

http://luxton.blogware.com/0708/hellomontoya.jpg

[Frieda]

i guess i'm suffering from european culture syndrome-- where do i get some? :)

[brightpearl]

i guess i'm suffering from european culture syndrome

Lucky.
:)

Welp, I guess I could send you some? I have plenty of time to get my ass in gear and buy stamps...

[craig johnston]

i guess i'm suffering from european culture syndrome-- where do i get some? :)

i *heart* frieda!

;)

[Frieda]

^^ yesssss please! :) that'd be awesome!



^ :):)

[Marcus Bales]

It's alive!

[Veruki]

I'm leaving work in 1 hr 15 min

[brightpearl]

I sound tuburcular.

[brightpearl]

The combination of antihistamine, 24-hr decongestant, bronchiodilators, and coffee makes me feel really weird. Floaty and two-dimensional. And also my mouth feels like it's been coated in a very thin layer of some inorganic and nonbiodegradable substance, such as circus peanuts.

[Frieda]

^uppers AND downers! :eek:

try watching spongebob, its such a trip when youre on all of that ;) :D

[brightpearl]

Yes, uppers and downers and yet I still have a headache. :o

I love Spongebob. But if it was the Flying Dutchman unemployed one, I might end up on one bad trip. Spongebob can be one scary bastard.
http://tmst.twu.net/rnd/spongebob-pores-tmst.jpg

[Frieda]

my bossman is a savage brit with a horse named igor.

[Brynn]

a blue jay found my new bird feeder in the back yard

[brightpearl]

I'm feeling lucky.

[T.I.P.]

my bossman is a savage brit with a horse named igor.

Do you say he is savage because he likes to wear furs and eat pork chops with his hands while caressing the two buxom wenches chained to the office printer, or simply because he makes a lot of spelling mistakes ?

[lukkucairi]

I have lost my faith in humanity.

[AllegroNg]

My band's album finally has a release date: April 16!!!!

This one's gonna be good:)

Wanna hear me fiddle?
www.myspace.com/hootenannyorchestra

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Come play in the pub friday night - I can cry into my beer and tap my foot at the same time. :D

[Frieda]

Do you say he is savage because he likes to wear furs and eat pork chops with his hands while caressing the two buxom wenches chained to the office printer, or simply because he makes a lot of spelling mistakes ?

he wears his fur on his chin and chest and in case of spelling mistakes, he yells at you

[lukkucairi]

I didn't quite know how to tell my Mormon manager that the person of importance visiting me last weekend and who caused me to rearrange all my meetings was my gay ex-boss who's now married to a 7 foot drag queen, so I just lied and told him my sister-in-law was visiting.

:p

[Marcus Bales]

Crap -- everyone's got a 7-foot drag queen but me.

[lukkucairi]

this one's for rent - the rates are reasonable. would you like a referral?

[Marcus Bales]

Sorry, I don't share.

[lukkucairi]

^see, this is why the 7 foot drag queens won't have anything to do with you. loosen up, babe!

I'd like to announce that I'd love to go over to Trevor's house, but I'm too lazy to get out of bed.

[Marcus Bales]

^see, this is why the 7 foot drag queens won't have anything to do with you. loosen up, babe!

Oh, NOW you tell me.

[Stephi_B]

I'd like to announce that my hair is approximately 15cm shorter since late morning than it was in early (a relative thing) morning.

[Marcus Bales]

breakfast was great -- I made beans and rice, and sauteed chicken breast medallions.

[T.I.P.]

* BRAAPP *

[lukkucairi]

the burning man art org are placing my piece on the central promenade center camp and they're sending me a free ticket :)

[auntie aubrey]

breakfast was great -- I made beans and rice, and sauteed chicken breast medallions.

i have an announcement to make: THAT IS NOT BREAKFAST.

[l'azizza]

the burning man art org are placing my piece on the central promenade center camp and they're sending me a free ticket :)

That's great Lukku!

[lukkucairi]

thanks! I'm very pleased :D

[T.I.P.]

wow, congratulations :D

[brightpearl]

Neat! Good karma! :D :D :D
I hope Tunes makes good on his threat to come with you this year.

[Stephi_B]

^^^^^^ Congrats Lukku!! :) :)

Make pics/video for us not witnessing!

[Marcus Bales]

the burning man art org are placing my piece on the central promenade center camp and they're sending me a free ticket :)

Spectacular! Good work! Enjoy!

[Veruki]

I'd like to announce that my god-daughter is being born today, I'm antsy.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Ooh, antsy Auntsey Veruki! Have you prepared your super-and-fanstasic-fairy-godmother wish?

[Stephi_B]

I'd like to announce that my god-daughter is being born today, I'm antsy.

Wonderful! Congrats :) :)

[Veruki]

She has officially been born! I don't get out of work for another 5 hours, I've gone from antsy to a total anxious mess. I want to see her right now!!

[l'azizza]

^ this means you must post a picture of baby feet.

[auntie aubrey]

i spent the afternoon in the emergency room because i mangled my finger in a hand blender. the doctors weren't sure how to stitch it back together. i saw my finger's innards and it nearly destroyed my sanity. it's haphazardly stitched now but because i'm pregnant i can't take any pain killers stronger than tylenol and i can't have any antibiotics (i'm allergic to the only ones knocked up chicks can take) and i couldn't have a tetanus shot.

so. my announcement is that my day sucked and i'm now having to practice typing without my left index finger until it heals. also, i'm left handed.

[brightpearl]

:eek: Oh noes!!
Oh oh oh.
OW.
Well heal the eff up soon, auntie. You have my deep sympathy about having seen a part of your finger you were never meant to see. That sort of thing is so jarring. Best wishes for speedy recovery.

[lukkucairi]

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow that sucks :(

my empathies. the innards of a finger are a terrible thing to behold :(

if I might be a complete flake, allow me to observe that homeopathic arnica granules really helped the pain for me when I nearly cut the end off my left pinkie last year. hooray for placebos? it's worth a try, perhaps...:o

[Frieda]

oh no auntie! :eek: :(

i'll send you good vibes-- they're safe for use during pregnancy!

hope it heals up soon!





(oh if we're going homeopatic-- try camomile (granules, tea) for soothing the brain, echinacea too boost your immune system and calendula later to allow soft healing for the wound (not on open wounds, wait until the skin is completely closed)