Flertin

[dickieC]

Under instructions from my lifestyle advisor and my therapist and my time-management consultant, I'm told I need to do more FLIRTING. As there hasn't been any here since Christmas (at least it feels that way) it's time to get it on, people.

So, "Is it hot in here or is it just you?"

[rmr]

I thought it was you.

I'm a bit chilly, maybe you could come over here and help me warm up.

*wink*

[dickieC]

Woooohooooo

It worked!!!!!

Here, you can have my coat, babe.

[rmr]

Bad Dickie....I wasn't hoping you'd share your coat.

[dickieC]

Damn! (Remember dC: these American women are usually much more direct)

OK


can I give you my heart? 'cos that's all warm and cosy

[rmr]

oh, now you've made me melt. may i give you my panties???

[dickieC]

erk

:breaks into sweat:

what, the ones you're wearing?

[rmr]

No silly.....this extra pair i have in my pocket.

Wanna see??

[bealeblues]

i could say something here, but i won't....

carry on dC

[dickieC]

Please, Beale, I'm getting all English and flustered

[rmr]

oh you boys!!!

i was just trying to say that i'm not wearing any....just carrying along a pair in my pocket.

is that hard to understand in English???

Dickie.....i can see you!!

[bealeblues]

let's just say that 'stiff upper lip' (and i know that opens up abot a thousand comments right there) thing doesn't work well unless you look like a tortured brooding artist and play in a band

just talk smack baby

[dickieC]

Ah, OK



I see you too, but it's getting increasingly difficult because my specs are getting all misted up

[rmr]

look beale don't you try playing your ambulance chasing games with me....no double talk here.

Dickie come over here and warm me up a bit :)

[rmr]

PS Don't offer me an electric blanket either.

[dickieC]

Nice hot cup of lurve?

[rmr]

OOOOH I'll take that!! Give it to me big boy!!!!

[bealeblues]

well dC, looks like i'm watching from the sidelines--- we can't run off the object of your flirting affection now can we?

just get in there and win one for the gipper

[bealeblues]

let the games begin

[dickieC]

Yes

That thread ended pretty quickly

:goes to try it in real life:

[bealeblues]

dammit dC-- don't quit now--- you're just getting her warmed up~!

[rmr]

I'm getting warmed up.....woof, woof!!

[dickieC]

ahem, ah yes, quite so...



Well, the ingredients of lurve cups include:

two spoonfuls of sweetness and light
a cup of raunch
and a dash of romance to taste

Ice?

[rmr]

I do not want any ice....now get over here and and help me pick this book up (he loves books). Yeah, put your hand right here.......ok good.

[bealeblues]

pssssttt.... dC.... look at her user texts

sorry... last hint

[dickieC]

Ah yes, interesting paper, haven't felt any like that before.

WAIT! Are you telling me that's not a book in my hand? Oooo!

[dickieC]

WHAT? She's having a baby in six months?

[rmr]

Are you calling me fat???

[bealeblues]

ok, one last hint and THAT'S IT

1. she (was) a sex bomb (if you play your cards right she may change her texts back)
2. six months and counting i don't think referred to pregnancy, if you know what i mean.... i would think it would be more akin to how long it's been since someone's been in the library...

now go see if she can scan your library card man!

[dickieC]

Nononononononono


(hurriedly turns to page 12 of chat-up lines: How to Rescue it When Things Go Wrong)



My dear, calling you fat would be like saying a mountain is too big for the valley next door. Everything in proportion, that's the way it should be!


(Phew, that was a close one)

[rmr]

i don't know....i'm not liking the mountain to big for the valley....what part of me is the valley and what are you referring to as the mountains???

[bealeblues]

ummmm....

[dickieC]

Er uhm ahh


Well, that'd be telling... I'd need to compare your peaks and bottoms....

[bealeblues]

that's more like it dC.... now stay on that path

[Zyle]

hahaha good line :p

[rmr]

Hey....here is the church and here is it's steeple, now look inside and see all the people

*panites flung across the room*

[bealeblues]

that's your cue, dC....

[dickieC]

ALRIGHT!!! STOP WATCHING YOU LOT!!!!

[bealeblues]

don't think the video hasn't been running this whole time.... (dinz and i need alcohol money after all)

[dickieC]

: puts Barry White on the stereo :

[bealeblues]

oh hell yeah.... dC going old school....

[rmr]

oh now i'm a cliche....huh??
you think all girls fling their panties across the room for barry white...not I, not I.

*picking panties up and putting them back in pocket*

[dickieC]

Makes a great movie soundtrack I suppose... Back to page 1. Better go and buy my ready meal for one from the supermarket...

[bealeblues]

try bringing her some longnecks dC

[rmr]

yummy....long necks.

[rmr]

ok beale...let's show dickie how it's done.

Scenario...smokey, danky bar. Me three drinks in beginning to teeter. Starting to feel those curious feelings that we like to call "drunken monkey love"

you: about to make your move

[bealeblues]

if you are 3 drinks in, then i have to be on 7 at least-- good sign

at this point, the drunk caller in me is about to unleash full force, but if i have different motivations then....

for informational purposes only, is this friday night drunk band night or a saturday random drinking night? (it makes a difference)

[bealeblues]

**throws NYC a cold beer to go with that popcorn**

[dinzdale]

*Ahem*....but did I just hear the sound of panties being flung?

[rmr]

random drinking night. those are the best for hook-ups.

by the way, i'm right in front of you, so there is no need for you to drunk dial. Unless of course you're planning a back-up booty call.

[bealeblues]

i said i would be drunk dialing otherwise, but since you are here, then i may have different motivations... now pay attention, you're not that far drunk are you?

ok, random drinking night means that my normal sidekick probably won't be there to cock-block me, so that's the difference i was talking about....

but shite, now i see dinz, so there's a cock-block waiting to happen....

[dinzdale]

Let me know when the amateurs have finnished....

[rmr]

oooooh dinz!! very nice, competition is always welcomed.

Beale, i'm paying attention....obviously you're a little drunker than you think....You got NYC a beer and nada for me. Better get that cell phone out...this booty is looking elsewhere. Unless you can come up with something pretty good.

(good move nyc, get the goods, that's what I say, always get the goods)

[rmr]

*saying to my friend*
I'm bored, so very bored
*YAWN*

[bealeblues]

as far as i could tell, nyc was a spectator and would be otherwise immune to any wiles-- i was merely trying to be hospitable as alcohol always makes the movie better.....

now, as far as you are concerned, a single beer will not sway you in the slightest as i'm sure you've had offers for those all night....

no, you're more of a shot girl at this stage of the game, so it's time to kick it up a notch... i'm thinking that you need a penetrator shot.... and not just any penetrator shot-- a double grey goose one to get your blood pumping....

[dinzdale]

Beale, move now or watch it's tail leave.
Think man, on your feet...
do you want the looney, or the old drunk broad?
Quick man,....weigh it up and think where your best shot is....and steam in
I'm just the wing man...lead on !!!

[Zyle]

*pulls up a stool to watch*

*nicks some of NYC's popcorn*

[rmr]

double grey goose...not impressed.

your a brand man, i can see. i like a guy who can think for themself.

*yawn*
*stretching arms out for ample viewing pleasure*

[bealeblues]

why do you think i chose the penetrator shot?

if you don't have the stones for it, just say so and i'll move on

[rmr]

oh i have the stones baby. the question is do you?

I'm simply saying that a girl of my stature gets offered many shots. I don't allow myself to be penetrated often and won't be penetrated by grey goose. You see in my experience that's a shot or drink that a man offers a lady to act like he's got some dough. I prefer a man that likes to get dirty dog down, not one that it trying to impress by the name of his shot.

somebody better speak spanish around here because we're drinking tequlia!!

[rmr]

Ladies, may I have some of that popcorn.

Any of you hear the one about about the horse, the horse's tail and the horse's ass???

[rmr]

Ladies, may I have some of that popcorn?

Any of you hear the one about about the horse, the horse's tail and the horse's ass???

[bealeblues]

well i just liked the sound of penetrator, but if you'd prefer tequila, then we can break out the old school zz top and see who goes face down first (and i don't mean necessarily on the floor)

[rmr]

crap, i must be drunk. I posted twice.

*hmmmm, beale starting to look a lot better*

[dinzdale]

She's not tagging on yet Beale....do you need help?

[rmr]

i'm up for that bet...face down huh??

*wondering who that naughty looking boy over there with the pool stick is*

[bealeblues]

i think we are just doing some preliminary pissing on turf dinz-- always good to spar with one another b/c it gets the adrenaline up for the post-2am activities...

but feel free to cock-block anytime

[rmr]

so your an attorney??? bet you think you're some kind of hot shot or something??

i detest hot shots.....did you know that?

[bealeblues]

now i'm not going to saunter up to you and try a line or anything....

i'll just throw you a pool stick and say a "shot per ball"... then see if you follow

and as far as being an attorney-- you'd never know that if you saw me in a bar-- you'd think i'd be the one who'd need one by night's end....

[dinzdale]

No,no...you're doing good...probably works in Baton Rouge,
but we're dealing with big city, high priced, classy minge here...
Dont show any weakness, and plunge on and in....

Here, I'll occupy her older sister...

*Ahem*
Hey, I noticed your red hair when I came out of the shitter.
I dated a red-head once....no hair just a red head. Ha ha

Drink?

[Frieda]

am i too late for the show?

*opens bottle of martini*

*opens pack of mini candy bars*

[rmr]

you think i'd follow.....no, no, no. that's not my style, not even if I want something. You'd be all alone with your pool stick.

why don't you just sit your ass down and relax....i don't bite, well not usually.

Why don't I buy you a drink.....boy.

*zz top pearl necklace playing in the background*

[bealeblues]

see, i disagree dinz.... let's see who's right

[rmr]

Frieda, good to see you.

NYC.....let's give these "boys" a run for their money. Love to leave the boys high and dry!!

[bealeblues]

so not me-- i thought she'd be a girl who'd like a challenge, but i'll play along...

*sits down for that drink*

[dinzdale]

Afford those shoes?
Now why would I buy something I can rent....
How long ago did you leave Canada?
I love that 80's dress....no,no...seriously...suits you...
need a stiffener?

[rmr]

oooh i so love the challenge. you see i challenged you to sit down and it worked. you guys are so easy.

Just want to point out, under no circumstance will I sell the farm this evening. I may though be tempted to auction off a few acres. Just want to lay my cards on the table.

[Frieda]

i love this show. :D

martini anyone?

[dinzdale]

Where do you want to go for breakfast?

[dinzdale]

Just saw it.....I'm glad you noticed.
Should we get a wake up call for brekky, or will you just nudge me?

[rmr]

hehehehe!!

like your style peg....like your style!!!

[dinzdale]

Who me?
Or the girly hitting on my lawyer buddy?

[rmr]

love rumors....simply love them!!

hey that southern guy just fell off his barstool. looks like he's out of the running. Where's that dickie when you need him.

[Red Princess]

man o man, i have to do some actual work this morning and i miss all the fun, why are all these guys passed out drunk on the floor? what did you do with dickieC?

[dinzdale]

Side bar:
Beale, she's gorgeous, got the boot-ey thing going on, and you're drunk. Man.
All I've done is drop a couple of half gags, been obnoxious and rude, and I'm on my way to breakfast with Cruella daVille....step it up man, step it up.

[rmr]

"i'll never tell"

peg, you sound like that crazy girl in that michael douglas movie......please give me some details.....please!!

[bealeblues]

oh sure, here i go off to make money for a few minutes and all of a sudden i'm passed out drunk on the floor....

THAT'S LATER ON PEOPLE!

[Red Princess]

now you know how i feel beale, i am invisible again, i hate that

[dickieC]

Terribly sorry, I got involved in a long chat with the chap over there who insisted that the English were all fags. I tried to explain to him that we aren't cigarettes but then he laughed and tried to punch me.

Now, where was I?

Ah yes...

You seem to be needing some company, young lady. May I purchase you a beverage?

[Red Princess]

if you are talking to me , i would be delighted, if you are not , let me punch you in the nose. (damn crazy americans)

[dickieC]

how about a nice cup of tea? And then you can tell me about some of those lovely white lace placemats you were showing me earlier

[Red Princess]

do you have camomile? maybe that will calm me down and i can act english

[dickieC]

But of course, my dear. The English always carry at least six different kinds of teas with them at all times, especially when in foreign parts.

Now let's have a look at those lacy placeholders.

[Red Princess]

placeholders? euphemism? or am i being too american?

[dickieC]

Well that's what I thought they were... little mats for putting your teacup on... it's confusing though because there seems to be straps on the sides for tying them down....

[Red Princess]

oh, i see, let me show you what that is for

[dickieC]

Aha!!!! Now I understand :o

[Red Princess]

but we don't need that here, do we? why don't you take it and put it in your scholarly briefcase, you can show beale and dinz later if you promise not to tel them i gave it to you (they will want one too)

[dickieC]

Oh thank you. That is most kind. You can put your teacups on it round at my place any time.

[bealeblues]

ummm... what happened to all the flirting, or am i just in a drunken fog?

[Red Princess]

this is english style flirting, try to keep up

[bealeblues]

i'll never make it then--- dinz, oh dinz?

[Red Princess]

in this here category dinz is more american than you are, you know subtle as a train wreck

[bealeblues]

hot off the wire.... this is a photo moments before our fair rimsey completely demoralized this poor guy... he's in therapy now, and doctors are hopeful for a speedy recovery

http://studentclubs.winona.msus.edu/forensics/flirting.JPG

[dinzdale]

I think I can see why I left.....couldnt take all that scones and a visit to mummy's before even a sniff of leg-over.

[Red Princess]

looks like he needed therapy anyhow

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by dinzdale
I think I can see why I left.....couldnt take all that scones and a visit to mummy's before even a sniff of leg-over.

here you brute, sniff this *making a rude american gesture*

[bealeblues]

careful there RP, you're playing to his strength...

[Red Princess]

i can take him

[rmr]

oh i remember that guy and this is what he looked like when i got through with him

http://ed1.eng.ohio-state.edu/People/Undergrad/SEvin/Images/Doug%20passed%20out.jpg

[dinzdale]

Looks like he sniffed something of RP's

[Red Princess]

joj, i did that to someone last saturday, ha ha ha ha

[rmr]

speaking of sniffing. i just walked in on my dog alone in the kitchen with a pair of my unmetionables.

i feel a bit violated.

[dinzdale]

GO RIMMER"S HOUND ! ! ! !

[bealeblues]

well now your dog can go off the 'six months and counting' list....

[rmr]

yes, i always know something is going on if there is complete silence. I walk out to the kitchen to find the little bastard looking up at me with the unmetionables between his paws. That dirty, dirty little mongrel.

[bealeblues]

your dog starts walking around the house like this:

http://dogs.about.com/library/gallery/SassySalukiPanties.jpg

[rmr]

hey beale....notice that's not my location anymore....maybe, just maybe, I had a productive afternoon. hmmmmmmmmm:D

[dinzdale]

Hound in Rim's clothing......

[bealeblues]

well hopefully dinz put fresh batteries in the video for that--- if you recall, rune blew it last time by not having new batteries....

[dinzdale]

Woof !!

[rmr]

um ok....i guess. not sure what you mean by batteries though.....but whatever works for you beale. we're open here and if batteries make you happy then so be it. I won't judge you.

me....i prefer it the way god intended!!

But, you go guy!! We're all behind you...we'll, no i take that back....we're all next to you.

[bealeblues]

so what exactly are you saying rimsey? that you won't be 'labeled'?

http://www.media.co.uk/images_mediaco/virgin.gif

and you may not have been here for the rune incident-- he didn't have good batteries in the video camera last time and dinz and i missed out on a small fortune on video sales of some ze-monkey fun.... at any rate, i hope that isn't the case here

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by dinzdale
Looks like he sniffed something of RP's

more like he drank too much warm english beer

[rmr]

A wise man once said....."to know me is to nail me"....no, no, no, I meant to say "to know me is, to love me":p

[bealeblues]

nope-- still gotta score that this way:

dinz 1
RP 0

[bealeblues]

hmmm... you sure it wasn't the former?

[rmr]

oh beale, run and play with your batteries....

[bealeblues]

now now, don't get testy.... if you had that productive of an afternoon you would have a smile on your face....

[Red Princess]

and this is the thanks i get from dinz after i hid him from the authorities after the stolen cheese incident. ha , look at this dinz, you can't have it neener neener

[bealeblues]

now i like that one, especially given dinz's, um, 'fondness' for toes....

[rmr]

he has a thing for toes???

he never told me that.....i don't know if I can be Mrs. Dinz # 5 if that's true.

[dinzdale]

Originally posted by bealeblues
now now, don't get testy.... if you had that productive of an afternoon you would have a smile on your face....


...and you wouldnt be walking straight ....

keep the toes covered Rims...have a pair of my new "Fvck Sox".

[Red Princess]

no rims, feet frighten him, poor thing, sandals make him scream and hide

[rmr]

dinz dear....i fake that walking problem....i know it makes you feel like you've acomplished something.

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by rmr
dinz dear....i fake that walking problem....i know it makes you feel like you've acomplished something.

works on all of 'em doesn't it?

[rmr]

yeah, he caught on to the screaming thing....that bowl legged walk works everytime.

[Deviate]

pants!

-st.

[dinzdale]

Faking is not something I've come across myself, obviously, but I've heard it's done....

[rmr]

you may have come across the faking thing and not even noticed it. trust me on this...

[bealeblues]

here comes trouble... in walks deev and the pants start to fly!


at this rate i'll hit 900 in no time

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by dinzdale
Faking is not something I've come across myself, obviously, but I've heard it's done....

as if you would actually know

[dinzdale]

No....I would know I'm sure......once you've had your internal organs pushed up into your chest cavity walking like John Wayne is usual....

[bealeblues]

dinz 2
RP 1

[dickieC]

I'm sure we all give satisfaction every time, guaranteed. Or I'll know the reason why.

[rmr]

i know....dinz what do you think i was doing last night....i wanted to get "the act" over with so I could watch everyone loves raymond

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by dinzdale
No....I would know I'm sure......once you've had your internal organs pushed up into your chest cavity walking like John Wayne is usual....
pushed up in your chest with what? that?

[rmr]

see that's what i've been meaning to tell you. i like my internal organs where they are....i don't like it when they get all "scrunched" up.

[dinzdale]

Yeah, it's not the size of the organ it's whether you are playing it in a cathedral...

[rmr]

OOOP, OOOH, WOOPS!!!

Dinz you are too much...i'm going to die of laughter here....seriously die!!!

[Red Princess]

ooooh yes it matters, if you are only driving a cooper mini

[dickieC]

like this? (http://members.xoom.virgilio.it/bertero/Organs/Orvieto/Orvieto.htm)

Mine's got all the bells and whistles a lady requires, thank you.

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by nycwriters
Hey hey HEY NOW!

Stop picking on Dinz.

I'm the only one who's allowed to do that!

:D
oh mom, he started it

[Red Princess]

kisses? tell him to be nice

[bealeblues]

just don't let him pick the place where you kiss....

[dinzdale]

Picking on me is already encoded in female DNA. *sigh*

I may stop soon to save Rimmer's life, or lunch - I'm not sure.

[rmr]

I like the mini....

and i forgot something very important and that is this.....I'm always on Dinz's side...no matter what, I will never be swayed from that opinion.

Dinz, I am ever so sorry. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me??? I'll tickle your feet!!!

[bealeblues]

i'm still waiting on my fvcking retainer to be his counsel, lousy bastard....

[dinzdale]

I will always forgive you Rimsky,, even IF you tickle my feet (through my industrial socks)

...then the make-up raunchy sexorama starts all over again..WHOO HOOOOOO ! ! ! !

[Red Princess]

he will never pay you beale, you should probably give his phone number to that lady in the movies that cooks pet rabbits

[rmr]

you know how i love that make-up raunchy sexorama!!!

Think I'll slap on that red lipstick you like sooooo much and smear my eye make-up. I know how much you like that.

[dinzdale]

Ooops..."Retainer", I thought he said "It's free", Tcuh ! my mistake.


Rimmer: Yes, yes, yes, yes,yes ......

[bealeblues]

nah RP-- he'd eat that bitch up for breakfast....

he'll remember me next time he's in the slam and needs to be bailed out... then it's cash money baby

[rmr]

ladies, you see, he's really quite easy to please.

I don't have to worry about getting a run in my stockings....my dinzie likes it!!!

[dinzdale]

I'm harmless, just need a little (cheap) loving and the care and (slutty) tenderness of a (filthy) woman who understands me (and wants to do unspeakable things to my genitalia).
I am a man of simple pleasures.

[rmr]

um, dinz......babydoll, the last part is kind of gross. just a little bit, remember how i asked you to gently introduce me to your filthy world???

remember....gently..

[dinzdale]

I am cleaning up my act as I speak....hum a merry tune.....

[Red Princess]

see dinz, she is really a little too nice for you

[dinzdale]

"From the most delicate marble, we shape the very best" - Leonado Da Vinci
"ps..... Fvcked if I can get these arms right"

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by dinzdale
"From the most delicate marble, we shape the very best" - Leonado Da Vinci
"ps..... Fvcked if I can get these arms right"

put down the sledge hammer, barbarian

[Deviate]

pants?

-st.

[noxxville]

what pants?

[Deviate]

damn right!

-st.

[noxxville]

We don't need no stinking pants.

[Deviate]

pants are for loooooosers.

-st.

[zenbabe]

how is it that a thread I have never seen or heard of has 198 posts?

[rmr]

*throwing pants to the wind*

[rmr]

zen, that's because i'm a pervert!!

*lighting what's left of pant on fire*

[dickieC]

My New Fastest Growing Thread

[Frieda]

let's hand out an NFGT award every month!

[RuneT]

Yeah thats a good idea, Frieda.

And DickieC! Jum back into the flirting ring. Don't give up yet! You had something going and it's unfair that Dinz is finishing off the work you started!

[Red Princess]

yeah we were having a nice english flirt with tea and everthing until that (insert expletive here) showed up. i must apologise for letting him distract me like that , it was sooo rude of me, please forgive?

[dickieC]

You're far too charming for that....

[Red Princess]

oh you smooth talking englishman, my teacups are cold, where are those doilies?
(please tell me if i act too american)

[rmr]

what happened here??? no flirting today.

[noxxville]

bunch of damn sissies

[rmr]

well hellllooo noxx. you are looking mighty fine today, if i might say so myself.

wanna a can of beer??

[noxxville]

of course my dear.

[rmr]

*belch*

here ya go!!

[Red Princess]

had too much work to do yesterday. flert flert, hey is anyone looking or am i flerting into the black hole of cyberspace?

[Red Princess]

dickieC where are you ? i have been waiting all day for you

[rmr]

i see rune out there too.....come here big boy and show me that boa of yours!!!