Thread Killers Thread

[Deviate]

i kill threads. how long will this one last?

sometimes i'm in the shower
and i'm washing my hair
and i don't even know that i've washed it.

-st.

[masterofNone]

that's why it says to lather, rinse, and repeat.

[amanda]

it'll never get off the ground.




NEVER, I tells ya.

[masterofNone]

never is a mighty long time.... I'm betting on the kid.

[amanda]

you know who ever kills this thread is the king or queen of Thread killing....



let the games begin.

[trisherina]

Sure, sure, you remember the threads you killed, but never the ones you let languish, cruelly, with a single click of the mouse.

I can kill this thread RIGHT NOW with a single brief discourse on Canadian politics.

Who's gonna make me do it?

[rmr]

sometimes.....i brush my teeth
sometimes.....I shave my legs
sometimes.....I have a hair in my nose
sometimes.......i have a hair in my chin
sometimes.....fart so loud my dog gets my mad.....
but, I am one hot lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lapietra]

...is it that one is a thread killer...

or, is it that one posts the final word on the subject, so apparent to all, that no one dares disturb the perfection of the thought?



ahhhhh.... the sweet, sweet sound of a resounding thud....

:p

[dickieC]

If a thread dies in the forest, and there's no-one around to hear it, is there a sound?

[chuckie egg]

....of course!

[ambo]

...something something
three hour tour...

[beckstra]

...a tale of a fateful trip...

[ambo]

...with seven stupid twits

[Deviate]

yawn.

-st.

[Deviate]

wow i think i win...

-st.

[Deviate]

hmm... well now it seems i win nothing...

-st.

[masterofNone]

never surrender.

[Deviate]

not even for a moment.

-st.

[masterofNone]

because sometimes...

[malina]

... the fight itself is more important than ...

[fodder]

LA DEE DA

[Deviate]

because sometimes
you just gotta
pour a little seltzer
down your pants

[malina]

well too much is too much

[Deviate]

other times
you just gotta
let the flames grow

[malina]

that pesky seltzer in the pants problem?

[ambo]

hmmmm...
not dead yet ?

let's see if i can work my magic

[malina]

naaaah! :D

[Deviate]

oh yes they can....

[bealeblues]

nice try deev, but you're not killing this thread... i just resurrected it...

looks like malina got a new avatar

[Deviate]

dead thread.

[masterofNone]

night of the living thread

[danh]

be abusive, that always works.

[danh]

Also, multiple replies...

[danh]

...by the same person seems to do it too.

[imdrsmooth]

clandestine

[masterofNone]

I think the way to kill a thread is to ask a really personal and distasteful question....



Don't you hate it when the guinea pig you're fvcking explodes? or is that just me?

[danh]

Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]


I'm not dead yet.

I'm getting better...

I feel happy! I feel happy!
[wack]

[ambo]

silly moN
sick threads thrive here

[ambo]

see what i mean ?

[danh]

guinea pig, ice cream, blender...

hmm...

[ambo]

yeah dan
starbucks already has a mocha guinea pig frappucino
and it is yummy

[danh]

I'll have to go to starbucks more often then.

[ambo]

saves a lot of time

[danh]

especially since I won't have to pick the fur out of my teeth.

[danh]

true dat!

[Red Princess]

did you know that if you pick up a guinea pig by the tail its eyes will fall out?

[Red Princess]

success at last

[ambo]

good try redP and Moel
but the thread still lives
HA !

[masterofNone]

oooh the "pride cometh before the fall" strategy!



yes. That works. As soon as you say it'll never die... well then it usually does at it's earliest convenience. good plan!

[danh]

Has anybody tried a psychotic rambling post yet?

I've had some success with those in the past.

(See links->timecube and chit chat-> start me up)

[agentsmith]

this is halloween song!!!!
or not...
or i could blab on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on

[bealeblues]

and on....

[danh]

and on...

[Deviate]

silence.

[Deviate]

ah, listen to the nothingness....

-st.

[dinzdale]

PTHTHRRRRRRPPPPHH ! ! !

..ooops ....pardon me

[lapietra]

oh fer the lova.....


Will somebody please light a match?

[dinzdale]

Actually that might not be a good idea.......

*whew*
Sweet Jesus........Open a window.........
*whoooo boy*
Sheesh.....



Did that kill the thread?

[lapietra]

probably not.
This board knows no shame.
I think we have to share something deeply intimate and personal and embarrass the crap out of everyone.
That'll do it.
:D

[dinzdale]

sort of a group hug type thing?

Or a personal, intimacy prolem type thing....not that I have one or anything.....you know just say, .....if.... someone ELSE, you know had.....personal issues.....sexual problem...hygene......type.....embarrasing thing to share.......

That sort of thing?

[lapietra]

nope.

gooey, sticky emotional stuff.











I mean, *only* if you *really* wanna kill it...

[dinzdale]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.....I mean...what kind of sicko would go on and on about their erection problems on here....

Tchuh !

Honestly....

[lapietra]

we're gettin' there...
I'm sure someone will hit on it soon....

[masterofNone]

You want Amanda & I to pretend we're fighting again?

[lapietra]

grapes! :D

[dinzdale]

Chalfont St Giles ?

[lapietra]

It's the best kept village in Buckinhamshire.














i love google

[dinzdale]

Originally posted by lapietra
It's the best kept village in Buckinhamshire.

...it's also Cockney rhyming slang for "Michael Miles" = piles

Man: Hello doctor.
Dr: Do I know you?
Man: You did the operation on my Chalfont's.
Dr: Ah no wonder....I never forget a face.

[lapietra]

Originally posted by moel
everyone should go look for a thread they killed and bring it back to life!

wow... I'll take up the whole first page.... :D

[Deviate]

pants!

[agentsmith]

got it....


who here has been asked to blow of a guy w/ hemmerhoids????






DIE THREAD DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

[Deviate]

has been asked to blow a guy with hemmorhoids, or has been asked OF a guy with hemmorhoids (which i'm not sure what this would mean)?

-st.

[malina]

i created & killed a thread simultaneously :D <proud smile>

[Deviate]

yes.

[malina]

thank you. thank you very much.

[malina]

hiya moe!

[malina]

i'd shamelessly flirt with you but i'm so tired .... want a citrus twist? ;)

[malina]

lol - you'll have to tell me about the other kind some time..... *hands moel drink w/lime* cheers!

[Deviate]

wow, when did it get so late?

-st.

[Deviate]

BLELLLGH!

i'll just have a martini, thanks, neat and dirty.

-st.

[malina]

olives? ( one or two )

[Deviate]

four

[malina]

martinis are great with jalapeno peppers..

heck - everything's great with jalapenos!

[Deviate]

agreed. cheers to that.

-st.

[bealeblues]

mmmm... jalapenos....

hmmm... alcohol....

dammit, i MUST work... damn you people for having a life

[Deviate]

i didn't get drunk once this whole week. i think i'm due...

-st.

[malina]

i'm catching up too... cheers!

[Deviate]

i'll get you my pretty, and your little THREAD too!

-st.

[Deviate]

Moel, this is your mother. You are a very bad, nauty little boy. Now you apologize to all these nice people.

[malina]

now honest! that's supposed to deter people??

[Deviate]

gotta love those monkeys.

-st.

[Deviate]

well said.

-st.

[danh]

Found this when I typed 'monkey hugger' into google.

http://www.monkeymondays.com/09-18-00.jpg

truly frightening...

[malina]

I LOVE IT !

[danh]

Originally posted by moel
well now im really glad i edited my post...

I must have missed that, but now I'm curious.

[malina]

he previously had referred to making sweet love to the monkey

[danh]

oh, I see.
hugger -> fu... never mind

I'm slow. People tell me I'm special :)

[malina]

you're pretty darn special!!!!!!!!!!!

ps: who ARE you?

[danh]

Originally posted by malina
you're pretty darn special!!!!!!!!!!!

ps: who ARE you?


who me? (remember the slow thing)

[danh]

yes, the friendly neighborhood physicist (in training)

[malina]

mmmmmm....... slow... :)

[danh]

I could start posting equations, that should kill it.

E*psi = psi*(((-h^2)/2m)*d^2 / dx^2 + V(x))

[masterofNone]

we can do ten pages on killing a thread. We should be getting paid for this somehow.

[danh]

Originally posted by nycwriters
That's an equation for tire pressure right?

Do I get a cookie?


exactly, and no

[danh]

is it dead yet?

edit: guess not

[ambo]

silly wabbits
it will NEVER die

[danh]

It's ironic (or sad) that one of the more popular threads right now it "How to kill a thread"

[malina]

we're beyond that

[danh]

Originally posted by malina
we're beyond that

beyond what?

ironic?
sad?
or caring?

[danh]

and the correct answer is:

D. All the above.

[malina]

yes?

[ambo]

we're so beyond it all, we're out there man
totally out there
get it ?

[danh]

I have some week old Chips-Ahoy.

[malina]

Originally posted by nycwriters
I'd like a fig newton please.

it's impossible to eat just one!

[danh]

Originally posted by malina
it's impossible to eat just one!

unless you only have one

[ambo]

Originally posted by nycwriters
I'd like a fig newton please.

oooh Peg - have you tried the new cherry cheesecake newtons ?

[malina]

Originally posted by moel
i love baking oatmeal cookies... come on... who's with me?

you're SICK, just SICK !

[moel]

what?????

[ambo]

oh you KNOW what she means !

[danh]

not like oatmeal cookies do you?

[ambo]

aw shucks, too bad
i'll just have to eat an extra one for you :D

[malina]

mmmm........ tim hortons

[malina]

yap

[malina]

i go to wasaga beach quite a bit in the summer ( love the beach! )

barrie's on the way. what are you doing there?

[malina]

lucky bastard!

[danh]

is it dead yet?

[trisherina]

Try poking it with a stick.

[danh]

*poke*

[laughingbuddha]

Kill Kill Kill

Every question has an answer. Every answer does not have an explanantion.

[RuneT]

Look away people, this thread is dead. There is nothing to see here. Go away. I command you, don't click the reply button!

[laughingbuddha]

kaho jo kehna hai..yeh toh band ho jayegi!

:)

anyone got an answer!! :D

[RuneT]

Ah that's easy. It's the legendary:

http://www.planetbollywood.com/Pictures/Posters/kuchtum1p.jpg

[laughingbuddha]

hindi aati hai!!!

WAH WAH WAH!!!

[RuneT]

It seems OK to me.

[chuckie egg]

F I N

[RuneT]

I T O

[chuckie egg]

That will surely do the trick... "clever Rune"

[RuneT]

I know :)

[chuckie egg]

*mwah!*

[Deviate]

grrr

sigh

grump, grump, grump.

-st.

[malina]

there there

[Deviate]

where? where?

[malina]

were my words of comfort?

[Deviate]

comfort? no.

confusion? abounds.

-st.

[malina]

content smile

[masterofNone]

I think it will be of immense service to the board if we can figure out how to kill a thread on purpose. Take a look at the "vainly babble" thread. There's a thread that desperately cries out for euthenasia.

[trisherina]

Send it to the Netherlands?

[ambo]

Originally posted by masterofNone
I think it will be of immense service to the board if we can figure out how to kill a thread on purpose. Take a look at the "vainly babble" thread. There's a thread that desperately cries out for euthenasia.

I totally agree. Perhaps a dead thread vote, and if enough people vote dead, a closing statement is placed in the thread (sort of like a eulogy), and that's that.

Anyone who posts to the dead thread after that gets to go to the post office for 2 hours, and NEVER gets to the window.

[Red Princess]

not dead yet? impressive

[danh]

Originally posted by masterofNone
I think it will be of immense service to the board if we can figure out how to kill a thread on purpose. Take a look at the "vainly babble" thread. There's a thread that desperately cries out for euthenasia.

you could always post a link to something truly horrifying. Something that will make people never want to view the thread again: e.g. goatse.

[lapietra]

*stabs thread with a rusty butcher knife*

[danh]

*thread bleeds, wound seals itself and thread comes back stronger than ever*

[lapietra]

Originally posted by danh
*thread bleeds, wound seals itself and thread comes back stronger than ever*

hahahahahahaha!!!!!


I think we should drown it. Isn't that how they finally killed Rasputin?

[danh]

I don't think ze would like water in his server. But we could still try.

[lapietra]

Who said anything about water?
I vote for pudding.

[danh]

mmmmmm... pudding...

[lapietra]

Originally posted by nycwriters
Why?

She's right... you know, we really do need at least one unpleasant, argumentative thread where everyone takes things just a little too personally on this board - otherwise it wouldn't be an authentic bulletin board...

[danh]

...pudding? :(

[Deviate]

not read even a word of the thread. opened it up, figured i'd spend a good part of my morning reading the first post and just never got past that...

i'm so laaaaaazy....

-st.

[lapietra]

Originally posted by danh
...pudding? :(

Is butterscotch okay?

[Red Princess]

pie

[malina]

Originally posted by lapietra
Is butterscotch okay?

butterscotch is perfect!

[Red Princess]

no , pie

[lapietra]

Originally posted by moel
pistachio is better.

ooooo! I LOVE pistachio!!!
And maybe the thread is allergic to pistachios & it'll swell up and DIE!!!!!!

[Red Princess]

never mind. with comments like this the thing should be dead any minute

[Deviate]

fuzzy-wuzzy love thread, don't you worry about those mean ol' jerky-werkies. you're safe here with me

-st.

[Red Princess]

sorry i didn't read it right, pay no attention to me. i have PMS and i am the one who wants to kill someone although not la la .

[lapietra]

I am not a thing.

I am a people.
:D

[Red Princess]

i will shut up now, sorry again

[lapietra]

Originally posted by Red Princess
i will shut up now, sorry again
But you didn't make a vow to be nice!!! You don't have to be sorry...
Rag away!!! :D

[Red Princess]

ok but dinz is the one who deserves it , not you guys

[Red Princess]

collective hallucination? hey can you hallucinate me a new pony tail guy?


please

[chuckie egg]

my brain hurts

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by moel
That cost extra.

i will write you a check

[Deviate]

schmooshy-schmooshy-schmoo cuddle-wuddle thready-weddy.

-st.

[Red Princess]

but this one isn't dead yet

[Deviate]

oh poor widdle thread. you don't worry one widdle itty bitty bit about what these big ol' meanie-weenies are saying about you. you're safe with me, cuddle-wuddle threadie-poo.

-st.

[ambo]

good god Dev, it's only a baby thread

[Red Princess]

still not dead yet?

[ambo]

decidedly not, but dinz being nice is going nowhere

[Red Princess]

aaaarrg not



dead



yet
*gasp*

[danh]

...pudding?

[lapietra]

http://www.ies.wisc.edu/eyh/photogal/sessions/pudding.jpg

[ambo]

now there's a great job...

[danh]

Yay! pudding!

[Red Princess]

looks more like they are experimenting with toxic waste

[ambo]

it's jello pudding, silly
why else would they be wearing plastic outfits and hats ?

[lapietra]

Originally posted by Red Princess
looks more like they are experimenting with toxic waste

I know... I wonder if it is!!!! :eek:
I mean... maybe they have the pudding box in the picture just to throw people off....
hmmmmmmm.....

[Red Princess]

it's part of the post office conspiracy i bet

[Red Princess]

why would they need all that protection to make pudding? think about it

[ambo]

think about it really...
what do those people go home and tell their families they did that day ?

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by moel
if only we could read those documents

i tried to digitally enhance the image but there just isn't enough information to see it clearly, but it looks like instructions of some kind,, but for WHAT?

[lapietra]

heh heh hehhhhhhhhh......



I actually know the answer......



but I'm not going to telll anyone.....


'cos I'm eeeeeeeeeeeviiiiillllll......

[danh]

Originally posted by Red Princess
i tried to digitally enhance the image but there just isn't enough information to see it clearly, but it looks like instructions of some kind,, but for WHAT?

I was able to make out:

"...add milk....
...stir...
...heat..."

must be some new kind of weapon of mass destruction!

[Red Princess]

heat? but how much is dangerous? and what do those STICKERS on the front of their smocks mean?

[danh]

Originally posted by Red Princess
heat? but how much is dangerous?

when the milk begins to scorch.

[danh]

oi! this thread SHOULD die.

[lapietra]

What else haven't we tried?

[danh]

Originally posted by lapietra
What else haven't we tried?

stop posting?

[ambo]

well, there's the m word...
think it's time redP ?

[Red Princess]

SAY THE M WORD, END IT ALREADY

[danh]

Originally posted by moel
that would have made a great ending.

alas, it was not to be.

[Red Princess]

amen

[Deviate]

yeah, your mom woulda made a great ending...

-st.

[Red Princess]

neener neener

[danh]

Your Mom is so hairy she has three settings on her shaver, medium, high, and timber.

[Red Princess]

oh yeah?

[Deviate]

come on Moel, show your hand.

-st.

[Red Princess]

do it,do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it,

i double dog dare you

[Red Princess]

oh crap , now it will go on forever

[danh]

Originally posted by moel
i can't, it's not me.

well, if it's not you, then why do you care?

[Deviate]

ah but you WANTED to, so you must have the capability somewhere....

-st.

[danh]

and there is never a bad time to kill this thread.

[Deviate]

oh, see, she'll do it in a heartbeat. what an idiot.

-st.

[dinzdale]

Dont be hard on yourself.

[Deviate]

i thought you were being nice, Dinz?

-st.

[dinzdale]

Originally posted by Deviate
what an idiot.

-st.

I was....dont be down on yourself. You are very smart and nice too.

[ambo]

do i smell the real dinz ?

[masterofNone]

there's an image.

[Deviate]

Originally posted by Deviate
oh, see, she'll do it in a heartbeat. what an idiot.

-st.
i was talking about Dr. Laura. but what a convenient mistake you have made.

-st.

[Deviate]

the thread? no.

the devil woman? one can wish...

(wow, that was awful. gonna get some massive karma damange on that one)

-st.

[Red Princess]

i don't think it's bad to wish that people get what they deserve

[danh]

is it just me, or is Dr. Laura sexy?

http://www.kqms.com/photos/drlauraL.jpg

[lapietra]

I'm sure, on some planet, revolving around some distant star, Dr. Laura would be considered sexy.
The universe is full of possibilities.

[Deviate]

i think, if he were alive today, Dr. Laura and Hitler would have hit it off...

cept for the whole Jew thing...

-st.

[ambo]

hey dev
dr. laura told me to say hey to you

[Deviate]

yeah, i'm sure she remembered me from the last time we met, right Ambo? just before she had us removed from the premises?

-st.

[ambo]

well, how could she forget that comment you made as we left ?

[Deviate]

which was?

-st.

[ambo]

i'm way too polite to repeat it
suffice it to say it made an impression

[Deviate]

funny thing is, i actually did meet the biotch and she did have me and my posse removed from the premises.

-st.

[ambo]

was that before or after the crack about hitler ?

[Deviate]

way before. in October. scary woman.

and she actually looks like that picture. not the one above, but the one on the dart-board...

(shudder)

-st.

[Deviate]

no. no cracks.

-st.

[Deviate]

okay okay okay. cracks anyone?

-st.

[ambo]

haha moel, you crack me up

[laughingbuddha]

cracked rawskull!

[Deviate]

yes.

[ambo]

oh yeah, nice try Dev

[dickieC]

Translatlantic query: who is Dr. Laura?

[danh]

Modern day hitler

(#1 google search result for "Dr laura")
http://www.drlaura.com/main/

(#2 google search result for "Dr laura")
http://www.stopdrlaura.com/

edit: of course, I say that without actually listening to her. I've just heard stories

[Deviate]

Dr. Laura is evil, DC, do the research and turn your forces against her.

-st.

[danh]

What google says about Dr. Laura

Dr. Laura is melting ... melting
Dr. Laura is NOT an MD psychiatrist and NOT a Ph.D. psychologist
Dr. Laura is available
Dr. Laura Is Dangerous
Dr. Laura is Exposed as Not Just the Queen of Mean, But the Biggest, Tackiest ...
Dr. Laura is my hero.....NOT!
Dr. Laura is sliming you
Dr. Laura is a Beacon - Smitty


damn, I love google.

[Deviate]

yeah.

[Red Princess]

i have cramps so bad that i could give myself a hysterectomy with a rusty dull knife

[Deviate]

or the wonderful Flowbee?

-st.

[Red Princess]

box cutter

[lapietra]

Originally posted by Red Princess
i have cramps so bad that i could give myself a hysterectomy with a rusty dull knife
I know this sounds crazy - but try doing a few ab crunches - 5 to 10 - every 10 minutes or so -
It actually helps -

[Red Princess]

i would rather be shot

[chuckie egg]

Originally posted by Red Princess
i have cramps so bad that i could give myself a hysterectomy with a rusty dull knife

Me too! aaaaarrrrrgghhh!!!!