Communal Blues

[rapscalious rob]

Hey, what could be more communal than blues? We’ve all got ‘em.
Standard blues form, as I understand it, is like this:

A
B
(repeat)
C
B

The last two lines should be sort of funny or ironic.

Example (pirate blues):
It ain’t easy bein’ a pirate,
Lawdy, no it ain’t no good.
I said it ain’t easy bein’ no pirate,
an’ it also ain’t no good;
I’d sure like to chase some booty
but my leg is made of wood.

So one poster can come up with the first line, A, then another does be and the repeat, then another does C, then another does the second B. Or whatever. Copy and paste just like the other communal poetry forums.

Okay, to start this whole shebang off:

Oh, the gas here cost so damn much,

[zenbabe]

Oh, the gas here cost so damn much,
I should have gotten a hooker instead of this hummer

[rapscalious rob]

Oh, the gas here cost so damn much,
I should have gotten a hooker instead of this hummer
Said the gas here cost so damn much,
I should’ve got laid by a fine hooker instead of gettin’ this hummer.
Oh, I guess I’d best start walkin’

[funkytuba]

Oh, the gas here cost so damn much,
I should have gotten a hooker instead of this hummer
Said the gas here cost so damn much,
I should’ve got laid by a fine hooker instead of gettin’ this hummer.
Oh, I guess I’d best start walkin’
Runnin outa gas is such a bummer

[rapscalious rob]

I’m stayin’ up past midnight,

[nycwriters]

I’m stayin’ up past midnight,
Gonna drink my troubles off my mind

[dinzdale]

I’m stayin’ up past midnight,
Gonna drink my troubles off my mind
I said, I'm stayin' up way past midnight

[rapscalious rob]

I’m stayin’ up past midnight,
Gonna drink my troubles off my mind
I said, I'm stayin' up way past midnight
Gon’ drink des troubles right off my mind

[nycwriters]

I’m stayin’ up past midnight,
Gonna drink my troubles off my mind
I said, I'm stayin' up way past midnight
Gon’ drink des troubles right off my mind
It's been lovin' and then hatin'

[rapscalious rob]

I’m stayin’ up past midnight,
Gonna drink my troubles off my mind
I said, I'm stayin' up way past midnight
Gon’ drink des troubles right off my mind
It's been lovin' and then hatin'
This crazy love sho’ ain’t too kind

[funkytuba]

My job has gotten crazayayay,

[dinzdale]

My job has gotten crazy
Working hard for what I make

[rapscalious rob]

My job has gotten crazayayay
Working hard for what I make
Said, lawd, this job’s driving me crazy

[dinzdale]

My job has gotten crazayayay
Working hard for what I make
Said, lawd, this job’s driving me crazy
Work too damn hard for the little bit I make

[rapscalious rob]

My job has gotten crazayayay
Working hard for what I make
Said, lawd, this job’s driving me crazy
Work too damn hard for the little bit I make
If I don’t get a raise pretty soon

[catbelly]

My job has gotten crazayayay
Working hard for what I make
Said, lawd, this job’s driving me crazy
Work too damn hard for the little bit I make
If I don’t get a raise pretty soon
Goin' postal on my noontime break

[rapscalious rob]

Oh I am just pure evil

[zefrank]

Oh I am just pure evil
Put cyanide up in the kool-aid

[slurpeedemon]

Oh I am just pure evil
Put cyanide up in the kool-aid
HOOO! I am purely, purely evil

[rapscalious rob]

Oh I am just pure evil
Put cyanide up in the kool-aid
HOOO! I am purely, purely evil
mixin’ up the killer killer kool-aid

[funkytuba]

Oh I am just pure evil
Put cyanide up in the kool-aid
HOOO! I am purely, purely evil
mixin’ up the killer killer kool-aid
Gon' give it to all my disciples,

[rapscalious rob]

Oh I am just pure evil
Put cyanide up in the kool-aid
HOOO! I am purely, purely evil
mixin’ up the killer killer kool-aid
Gon' give it to all my disciples,
show ‘em how a REAL jonestown’s made

[funkytuba]

I got paged again at 3am

[lapietra]

I got paged again at 3am
Gonna sleep away my lunch tomorrow

[malina]

( edited: sorry! double post )

[malina]

I got paged again at 3am
Gonna sleep away my lunch tomorrow
I said, sweet Jesus, paged again at 3am

[slurpeedemon]

I got paged again at 3am
Gonna sleep away my lunch tomorrow
I said, sweet Jesus, paged again at 3am
Sleepin' under my desk tomorrow

[funkytuba]

I got paged again at 3am
Gonna sleep away my lunch tomorrow
I said, sweet Jesus, paged again at 3am
Sleepin' under my desk tomorrow
If my boss up'n start some mayhem

[nycwriters]

I got paged again at 3am
Gonna sleep away my lunch tomorrow
I said, sweet Jesus, paged again at 3am
Sleepin' under my desk tomorrow
If my boss up'n start some mayhem
He's gonna kiss his ass goodbye

[slurpeedemon]

My cubemate's done gone postal

[rapscalious rob]

My cubemate's done gone postal
he just read that last memo
said, cubemate's done gone postal
he just read that last memo

[slurpeedemon]

My cubemate's done gone postal
he just read that last memo
said, cubemate's done gone postal
he just read that last memo
Got himself a semi-auto paintgun

[dinzdale]

My cubemate's done gone postal
he just read that last memo
said, cubemate's done gone postal
he just read that last memo
Got himself a semi-auto paintgun
He'll make a one man Jackson Pollock demo.

[funkytuba]

Oh, it's Monday an' I'm hung over

[slurpeedemon]

Oh, it's Monday an' I'm hung over
Don't you turn my office light on

[funkytuba]

Oh, it's Monday an' I'm hung over
Don't you turn my office light on
I say it's monday and I'm hung ovarr
Please don' turn that dang-ol' light on
If you bring me some aspirin and water

[rapscalious rob]

Oh, it's Monday an' I'm hung over
Don't you turn my office light on
I say it's monday and I'm hung ovarr
Please don' turn that dang-ol' light on
If you bring me some aspirin and water
Sweet Jesus that would be right on!

[funkytuba]

Well, it's election day in california

[lapietra]

Well, it's election day in california
or maybe it's the circus, I don't know
Yeah! it's election day in california
Looks just like a circus, don't you know

[funkytuba]

Well, it's election day in california
or maybe it's the circus, I don't know
Yeah! it's election day in california
Looks just like a circus, don't you know
I'm goin out to get some tequilia

[lapietra]

Well, it's election day in california
or maybe it's the circus, I don't know
Yeah! it's election day in california
Looks just like a circus, don't you know
I'm goin out to get some tequilia
and sit back and enjoy the show....

[God]

Oh, we got a governater

[maychorian]

Oh, we got a governater
With a head the size of Idaho

[lapietra]

Oh, we got a governater
With a head the size of Idaho
Awww, hell! We got a governator
With a head like a big ol' baked potatooo

[rapscalious rob]

Oh, we got a governater
With a head the size of Idaho
Awww, hell! We got a governator
With a head like a big ol' baked potatooo
Jesse Ventura, you better watch out

[rapscalious rob]

Oh, we got a governater
With a head the size of Idaho
Awww, hell! We got a governator
With a head like a big ol' baked potatooo
Jesse Ventura, you better watch out
yeah, you’d better lay down low.

[rapscalious rob]

nevermind…

[messycoloring]

nevermind…
I said oh nevermind

[maychorian]

Oh baby, my shoes are falling apart

[funkytuba]

Oh baby, my shoes are falling apart
Seems I walked too many a mile
Yes, I said, my shoes, they's fallin apart
Done walked too many dern miles

[SuperCaliFragil]

Oh baby, my shoes are falling apart
Seems I walked too many a mile
Yes, I said, my shoes, they's fallin apart
Done walked too many dern miles

Oh baby, my hearts come apart
Seems I sent out too many a smile
yaaaa, I said my hearts come apart.
Don't think I can make another smile.

[rapscalious rob]

Oh baby, my shoes are falling apart
Seems I walked too many a mile
Yes, I said, my shoes, they's fallin apart
Done walked too many dern miles
I’m done got lost in the Wal*Mart,



Oh baby, my hearts come apart
Seems I sent out too many a smile
yaaaa, I said my hearts come apart.
Don't think I can make another smile.
Oh, if you would only smile back,






(how did this turn into TWO blues? It’s ‘nuffta confuse!)

[maychorian]

Oh baby, my shoes are falling apart
Seems I walked too many a mile
Yes, I said, my shoes, they's fallin apart
Done walked too many dern miles
I’m done got lost in the Wal*Mart,
Looking at the runnin' shoe styles.


Oh baby, my hearts come apart
Seems I sent out too many a smile
yaaaa, I said my hearts come apart.
Don't think I can make another smile.
Oh, if you would only smile back,
I'd prob'ly lie down and die for a while

[SuperCaliFragil]

oops...my bad.
Should have read the instructions...duh.
(newbie move)

:(

[rapscalious rob]

what was a newbie move? Writing two blues for the price o’ one?

That second one was in the gin-u-wine blues flava, chil'.

Don' be stressin' 'bout no blues. We ain't here fo' stressin. We's here to sing the blues. Spill it, if yous got the juice.

[catbelly]

mo blues mo bettah! :)

[maychorian]

My guitar's busted out the back

[rapscalious rob]

My guitar's busted out the back
an’ it’s the only one I’ve got.
Yeah, guitar's busted out the back
an’ it’s the only one I’ve got.

[SuperCaliFragil]

mo blues mo bettah!
but tunes 'won help forget her
mo blues, but I'm no betta, so
I just have to let her go

[SuperCaliFragil]

nevermind…
I said oh nevermind
GW has never had a mind
nevermind, oh nevermind
who the hell voted for that...
Nevermind.



saw a loose thread that needed tying.
:D

[funkytuba]

My guitar's busted out the back
an’ it’s the only one I’ve got.
Yeah, guitar's busted out the back
an’ it’s the only one I’ve got.
Gon' go an get me some duct tape

[rapscalious rob]

My guitar's busted out the back
an’ it’s the only one I’ve got.
Yeah, guitar's busted out the back
an’ it’s the only one I’ve got.
Gon' go an get me some duct tape
guess thats the smartest thing I’ve bought.

[rapscalious rob]

When I got up this mo’nin,’
sleep don’ heal this troubled mind.
Yeah I left my bed this mo’nin,’
couldn’t ease my troubled mind.
Seems the longer I’m livin,’
the mo’ troubles I’m gon’ find.

So I picked up the receiver,
dialed the suicide hotline.
Yeah, I picked up that receiver,
dialed the suicide hotline.
I said I’m just tired of livin,’
and she said she thought that’s fine.

Well, I can’t afford no gun, lawd,
I can ‘ford a rubber band.
Yeah, I can’t afford no gun, lawd.
I can ‘ford a rubber band.
Well, I guess that makes me lucky;
either that, or makes me damned.

[rapscalious rob]

If you want to have a good time,

[Coffee]

If you want to have a good time,
Don't spend so much of it in the streets.
Yaa, if you wanna have a good time

[lapietra]

If you want to have a good time,
Don't spend so much of it in the streets.
Yaa, if you wanna have a good time
Don't you go spendin' your nights on the streets

[Coffee]

If you want to have a good time,
Don't spend so much of it in the streets.
Yaa, if you wanna have a good time
Don't you go spendin' your nights on the streets
sure, there's a lovely lady waiting there

[maychorian]

If you want to have a good time,
Don't spend so much of it in the streets.
Yaa, if you wanna have a good time
Don't you go spendin' your nights on the streets
sure, there's a lovely lady waiting there
But she don't know the best places for eats

[Goot]

My baby done took mah' dog again

[rapscalious rob]

My baby done took mah' dog again
yeah, she done stole mah bes’ friend.
Baby done took mah' dog again,
said she done stole mah bes’ friend

[jenschka]

My baby done took mah' dog again
yeah, she done stole mah bes’ friend.
Baby done took mah' dog again,
said she done stole mah bes’ friend
An' if dat dog don't come back by nine, I sez

[Goot]

My baby done took mah' dog again
yeah, she done stole mah bes’ friend.
Baby done took mah' dog again,
said she done stole mah bes’ friend
An' if dat dog don't come back by nine, I sez
I probably just wait for her 'till ten

[funkytuba]

Oh my baby won't go to sleep

[jenschka]

Oh my baby won't go to sleep
She gonna stay up all night long
yeah my baby she won't go to sleep
I said she gonna stay up all the night long

[Goot]

Oh my baby won't go to sleep
She gonna stay up all night long
yeah my baby she won't go to sleep
I said she gonna stay up all the night long
now if my baby want close them brown eyes

[Coffee]

Oh my baby won't go to sleep
She gonna stay up all night long
yeah my baby she won't go to sleep
I said she gonna stay up all the night long
now if my baby want close them brown eyes
Then I will sing her another sweet song.

[Goot]

I'ma so tired of workin' in them coal mines

[jenschka]

I'ma so tired of workin' in them coal mines
I gotta find me a sweet Candy Mamma

[Goot]

I'ma so tired of workin' in them coal mines
I gotta find me a sweet Candy Mamma
Yeah, I'm so tired of workin' in them there coal mines
And I gotsa' find me a sweet candy Mamma
The next time I go down that mine shaft

[RevEf]

I'ma so tired of workin' in them coal mines
I gotta find me a sweet Candy Mamma
Yeah, I'm so tired of workin' in them there coal mines
And I gotsa' find me a sweet candy Mamma
The next time I go down that mine shaft
I'll bring along a willing llama.

[RevEf]

My neck's got an awful crick

[God]

It ain’t easy bein’ the lawd, lawd
lawdy no it’s hard as hell.
Said it’s too hard to be the lawd
man, it’s really hard as hell.
If that Devil’d only help me,
well I think that would be swell.

[zenbabe]

I only hope that you have a great Xmas

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I only hope that you have a great Xmas
cos that new year's gonna knock you low

[malina]

I only hope that you have a great Xmas
cos that new year's gonna knock you low
I said DANG, may yo Xmas be merry!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I only hope that you have a great Xmas
cos that new year's gonna knock you low
I said DANG, may yo Xmas be merry!
cos that new year it's just gonna blow

[lapietra]

I only hope that you have a great Xmas
cos that new year's gonna knock you low
I said DANG, may yo Xmas be merry!
cos that new year it's just gonna blow
You thought this year was crazy

[RevEf]

I *said*, my neck's got an awful crick

[RevEf]

I only hope that you have a great Xmas
cos that new year's gonna knock you low
I said DANG, may yo Xmas be merry!
cos that new year it's just gonna blow
You thought this year was crazy
But child, you just don't know!

[lapietra]

My neck's got an awful crick
Wish my sweet man would come rub it some
I *said*, my neck's got an awful crick
Aww, honey, come here and rub it up some

[rapscalious rob]

My neck's got an awful crick
Wish my sweet man would come rub it some
I *said*, my neck's got an awful crick
Aww, honey, come here and rub it up some
Oh, don’t be afraid to touch me-

[funkytuba]

My neck's got an awful crick
Wish my sweet man would come rub it some
I *said*, my neck's got an awful crick
Aww, honey, come here and rub it up some
Oh, don’t be afraid to touch me-
I ain't worried 'bout your trick thumb

[RevEf]

Sweet mama, I think I ate some hemlock

[lapietra]

Sweet mama, I think I ate some hemlock
But I'm goin' with a smile on my face
Oh sweet mama, I drank me a big ol' mug o' hemlock
But you best believe I'm goin' out with a smile on my face

[rapscalious rob]

Sweet mama, I think I ate some hemlock
But I'm goin' with a smile on my face
Oh sweet mama, I drank me a big ol' mug o' hemlock
But you best believe I'm goin' out with a smile on my face
Oh, wait- I think this is anise!

[rapscalious rob]

Sweet mama, I think I ate some hemlock
But I'm goin' with a smile on my face
Oh sweet mama, I drank me a big ol' mug o' hemlock
But you best believe I'm goin' out with a smile on my face
Oh, wait- I think this is anise!
Done recognized that damn sweet tas’e

[rapscalious rob]

Gon’ pick up the receiver,

[daverbee]

Gon’ pick up the receiver,
Ring you up on my telephone!

[malina]

Gon’ pick up the receiver,
Ring you up on my telephone!
Ah'v gon' pickin up ye oooole reee-ceivah...

[daverbee]

Gon’ pick up the receiver,
Ring you up on my telephone!
Ah'v gon' pickin up ye oooole reee-ceivah...
Oh, Lawd! I'm gonna call you up on mah telephone!

[Smartypants]

Gon’ pick up the receiver,
Ring you up on my telephone!
Ah'v gon' pickin up ye oooole reee-ceivah...
Oh, Lawd! I'm gonna call you up on mah telephone!
Askin' you pretty mama, askin' can I come on home

[RevEf]

Oh mah wood leg is fulla termites

[malina]

Oh mah wood leg is fulla termites
Ain't nothing on earth ah cain do!

[Smartypants]

Oh mah wood leg is fulla termites
Ain't nothing on earth ah cain do!
Oh I say my old wood leg is fulla munchin, crunchin' tuh-uh-uh-uh-ermites!

[daverbee]

Oh mah wood leg is fulla termites
Ain't nothing on earth ah cain do!
Oh I say my old wood leg is fulla munchin, crunchin' tuh-uh-uh-uh-ermites!
Ain't nothin' on God's Green Earth that I can do!

[rapscalious rob]

Oh mah wood leg is fulla termites
Ain't nothing on earth ah cain do!
Oh I say my old wood leg is fulla munchin, crunchin' tuh-uh-uh-uh-ermites!
Ain't nothin' on God's Green Earth that I can do!
Well, it's rotten to the core, like me, lawd!

[daverbee]

Oh mah wood leg is fulla termites
Ain't nothing on earth ah cain do!
Oh I say my old wood leg is fulla munchin, crunchin' tuh-uh-uh-uh-ermites!
Ain't nothin' on God's Green Earth that I can do!
Well, it's rotten to the core, like me, lawd!
All crumbly and rotten and leavin' Me-e-e-e-eeeee! Wit' da Termite Blues!

[rapscalious rob]

When I got up dis mo’nin’

[Smartypants]

When I got up dis mo’nin’
Ma half-caf cap was flat and my croissant it was cold

[daverbee]

When I got up dis mo’nin’
Ma half-caf cap was flat and my croissant it was cold
Lemme tell ya, people, now when I got UP dis mo'nin'

[Smartypants]

When I got up dis mo’nin’
Ma half-caf cap was flat and my croissant it was cold
Lemme tell ya, people, now when I got UP dis mo'nin'
Ma ritual half-caf cap was fla-AT! and damn if my old croissant wasn't cold!

[funkytuba]

When I got up dis mo’nin’
Ma half-caf cap was flat and my croissant it was cold
Lemme tell ya, people, now when I got UP dis mo'nin'
Ma ritual half-caf cap was fla-AT! and damn if my old croissant wasn't cold!
ah guess ahll just get mahsef on downstairs

[daverbee]

When I got up dis mo’nin’
Ma half-caf cap was flat and my croissant it was cold
Lemme tell ya, people, now when I got UP dis mo'nin'
Ma ritual half-caf cap was fla-AT! and damn if my old croissant wasn't cold!
ah guess ahll just get mahsef on downstairs
An' head on down to...ah say head on dowwwwwwn to...lemme tell ya I'm gonna head on down to STAAAAAAAARBUCK's real bold!

[Smartypants]

When I got up dis mo’nin’
Ma half-caf cap was flat and my croissant it was cold
Lemme tell ya, people, now when I got UP dis mo'nin'
Ma ritual half-caf cap was fla-AT! and damn if my old croissant wasn't cold!
ah guess ahll just get mahsef on downstairs
An' head on down to...ah say head on dowwwwwwn to...lemme tell ya I'm gonna head on down to STAAAAAAAARBUCK's real bold!
'Cuz Mama dontchya know I got dem crazy ole no-foam half-caf capuccino with a stale French pastry, forced to dis my principles and get my morning fix from the bad bad bad bad man BLUES!!

[Dark Chocolate]

:D :D :D Those are the longest blues I’ve ever seen, Mr. Smartypants.
edited to add: I think you might want to check the inseam on those blues, honey.


Okay, a new blues:

Well, when I went to the ol’ doctor yesterday,

[rapscalious rob]

Well, when I went to the ol’ doctor yesterday,
he tol’ me that I’m too fat.

[Smartypants]

Well, when I went to the ol’ doctor yesterday,
he tol’ me that I’m too fat.
Yes, I went to that bony-assed know-nuthin' of a doctor yestiddy,

[rapscalious rob]

Well, when I went to the ol’ doctor yesterday,
he tol’ me that I’m too fat.
Yes, I went to that bony-assed know-nuthin' of a doctor yestiddy,
an’ he done had the nerves to tell me I’m too damn fat.

[Dark Chocolate]

Well, when I went to the ol’ doctor yesterday,
he tol’ me that I’m too fat.
Yes, I went to that bony-assed know-nuthin' of a doctor yestiddy,
an’ he done had the nerves to tell me I’m too damn fat.
well, I sure can’t give up pork chops

[Smartypants]

Well, when I went to the ol’ doctor yesterday,
he tol’ me that I’m too fat.
Yes, I went to that bony-assed know-nuthin' of a doctor yestiddy,
an’ he done had the nerves to tell me I’m too damn fat.
well, I sure can’t give up pork chops
Or I'll be singin' these lonely "Doc Atkins don't know a fine caboose if it bit 'im in his Jack Spratt ass" blooooooo-oo-oo-es!

[Dark Chocolate]

goodness gracious, boy; that’s capacious!

If I were not so sweet, chil’

[Smartypants]

Originally posted by Dark Chocolate
goodness gracious, boy; that’s capacious!

If I were not so sweet, chil’

Sorry, Choc! I'm a bit punchy from sleep deprivation. Thanks for putting up with me. And Welcome Aboard!

SP :D

[Dark Chocolate]

That’s okay, Mr. SP. You’re alright by me ;)

By the way, that second part of my last post was also meant as the beginning of another blues. :)

[Smartypants]

If I were not so sweet, chil’
You'd be puckerin' yo' sour lips for some other fool

[Dark Chocolate]

If I were not so sweet, chil’
You'd be puckerin' yo' sour lips for some other fool
Said, if I weren’t so sugar sweet, chil’

[Smartypants]

If I were not so sweet, chil’
You'd be puckerin' yo' sour lips for some other fool
Said, if I weren’t so sugar sweet, chil’
Those lemony lipsa yours'd be kissin' some OTHER fool, yeah

[Dark Chocolate]

If I were not so sweet, chil’
You'd be puckerin' yo' sour lips for some other fool
Said, if I weren’t so sugar sweet, chil’
Those lemony lipsa yours'd be kissin' some OTHER fool, yeah
Well, it’s good we blend so well, love

[Smartypants]

If I were not so sweet, chil’
You'd be puckerin' yo' sour lips for some other fool
Said, if I weren’t so sugar sweet, chil’
Those lemony lipsa yours'd be kissin' some OTHER fool, yeah
Well, it’s good we blend so well, love
Cuz I got dem ole if-you-got-lemons-make-lemonade blues.

[daverbee]

My nails is all bent, my screws they done run outta thread!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

My nails is all bent, my screws they done run outta thread!
Oh, no way I gonna get that elegant little sidetable I bin dreamin' of, built today

[Smartypants]

My nails is all bent, my screws they done run outta thread!
Oh, no way I gonna get that elegant little sidetable I bin dreamin' of, built today
Ah say mah nails is bent, lawdy, 'n' my po' l'il screws got no mo' thread.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

My nails is all bent, my screws they done run outta thread!
Oh, no way I gonna get that elegant little sidetable I bin dreamin' of, built today
Ah say mah nails is bent, lawdy, 'n' my po' l'il screws got no mo' thread.
and that li'le sidetable that I thought was mine, just upped and walked away-ay-ay

[daverbee]

Gonna rattle yo' bones, Baby, shake up yo' spinal cord, too!

[daverbee]

Gonna rattle yo' bones, Baby, shake up yo' spinal cord, too!
I say, I'm gonna rattle yo' bones, Baby, an' shake up yo' spinal cord, too!
I'll give you the adjustment of yo' young life, now, Honey!
An' give you the Chiropractor Blues!