New Philosophy

[dinzdale]

Ralph Waldo Emerson and Socrates and a whole bunch of idiots between them, are still remembered by the great things they said. Things make make you say "Hmmm, that's very wise."
Well I happen to think the great minds on here can give them a run for their money, and be printed on calendars, probably in about 50 years or so....

Leave you wisdom below

Here's my first effort (and it really was an effort) to leave to future generations.

"Putting a loaf of bread at the bottom of the grocery bag will not effect the bread itself, but no-one wants mis-shappen sandwiches"

[zenbabe]

"Just because a cat has her kittens in an oven, doesn't make them bisquits"

[amanda]

Don't watch anything from Ze while making crepes.

One of you is going to get burned. (ouch!)

[lapietra]

I'm sorry... these aren't original... but they're so good!

On trying to show stubborn ignorant people the light:
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Same idea:
Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty, and the pig has fun.

On the theme of children:
Better you should raise pigs. At least you can eat them.
(The above statement is not necessarily the opinion of the person who typed it there. Only *sometimes*.)

[amanda]

Ah yes, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long- a solid source for pearls.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature". He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

Or one of my favorites...

Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.

[AllegroNg]

Never ever kiss a turtle.

[zenbabe]

Holy Monkey!

[amanda]

Get your friends to do the slug-licking for you.

One I was reminded of this morning:
Don't drink orange juice right after you brush your teeth.

On a similar note:
Lemonade and chocolate don't mix.

[dinzdale]

salt and sugar may look similar, but one tastes revolting in coffee.

[Frieda]

a lot of things taste revolting in coffee.

[bealeblues]

i think coffee does a good job at being revolting all on its own....

[Frieda]

:D i drink it with a lot of sugar. a *lot* of sugar :D

[Enqrypzion]

you're right, coffee is able to be very revolting at times.. most times.. close to all times, except there ain't no coffe sometimes.. most times..
I wonder though, would coffe be good at playing Re-Volt? it might, you know, being revolting and all..

[dinzdale]

Many years from now, when they ask me all about it, I can look them in the eye and say:

"My addictions to caffeine, nicotine and alcohol were the only way I had of dealing with what we used to call reality. Now we know better, as they were in fact the only reality."

And they will say...."Wow!"

[zenbabe]

I think my reality check just bounced....

[dinzdale]

I have nothing to declare but my genius....and the lamentable state of my underwear.

[Enqrypzion]

yet, the fractal character of the mind may be infuenced and/or inducted by the power of caffeine...

[dinzdale]

I think the fractal character of my underwear has been DEFINATELY influenced by caffeine......

[Frieda]

:D ran out of toilet paper dinzdale? did you send something in for Ze's toilet paper clothing contest? :p

[Enqrypzion]

how to make your own fashionable fractal underwear by using caffeine and toilet paper? interesting idea for a book..

[Frieda]

well that's actually an interesting item for the new contest.. great! :D

[Enqrypzion]

Express your view on the fractal structure of cheese in sizeable fitting underwear made from toilet paper. Use of caffeine is obligatory.

[amanda]

Can cheez whiz be discussed? How does one measure the edge of a line of cheez whiz? Or for that matter, a pair of toilet paper underwear? What unit of measurement does one use? (Thanks Mandelbrot for the sleepless nights with cups of red tea.)

(What do I win?)

[zenbabe]

ew, sounds a little like bukkake to me, I am going to have to say no on the caffiene and cheese combo....

[Enqrypzion]

"A sandwich with ham and decaf cheese please." nah sounds fine zenbabe :P

If the world outside is red, what color would your mind be?

[dinzdale]

Now I'm going to be nauseous all day....somebody mentioned the "d" word.

"You want the caffeiene.....You cant handle the caffeiene" Jack Nicholson (a few good coffee beans).

Pass the cheese, dont cut it.

[dinzdale]

It is true in life that the loss of a sense is compensated by the human body. For example: blind people can hear a pin drop, and deaf people have better peripheral vision.
Is this why people with nothing to say have such big mouths???

[12"razormix]

*bump*

[Audreyvgs]

Things that go bump in the night probably have pointy ends
and can get you into trouble.

[xfox]

everything in moderation

[lapietra]

everything in moderation

...including moderation. ;)

[Marcus Bales]

Once, a philosopher; twice, a pervert.

[Red Princess]

one person's perversion is another person's fun saturday night

[craig johnston]

yes.
mine.
;)

[trisherina]

You eat one foot, they call you a cannibal.

Hello, Miss Royal Pita, soooooo good to see you! :D

[Red Princess]

mean girls suck, nice girls swallow

[dinzdale]

One swallow doesnt make a summer

[Red Princess]

how many does it take?

[dinzdale]

Afternoon Redness, glad to see you're back.



Your front's quite impressive too... :)

[Red Princess]

work is slow today, just stopped in for a visit.
ps. i missed you too

[dinzdale]

Well you always know where to find me.....and my crisp dollar bills.

[Red Princess]

stick a couple of those in here would ya? i need a coffee

[dinzdale]

Would be glad to :)

[Red Princess]

thanks, can i light that for you?

[dinzdale]

Is it hot in here, or just you?

[Red Princess]

it's always me
silly