comunal haikus

[ransom]

DIRECTIONS: okay, this is a little more complicated than the other stories. . .a haiku must follow the STRICT structure of syllables being 5-7-5 for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd lines of the haiku. . .here is an example:

i spilled break fluid
lets get some sucking action
and clean this darn floor

in this exercise, posting will be in groups of three--first person will submist one line with 5 syllables, second person will post a somewhat relevant line with 7 syllables, and the third person will finish that particular haiku off with a 5 syllable line. . .then it starts over with the next person and a brand new comunal haiku. . .to make things easier, put a number (1 2 or 3) to state which line we are on. . .

got it? GOOD. . here goes the first line:
______________________________________________

1. life is like baked beans

[JudyPatooty]

1. life is like baked beans
2. no good without the brown bread

[Hamtastica]

1. life is like baked beans
2. no good without the brown bread
3. and better with ham.

[ransom]

1. Winter wind burns eyes.

[cosmo949]

1. Winter wind burns eyes.
2. Tears like gentle freezing rain

[Hamtastica]

1. Winter wind burns eyes.
2. Tears like gentle freezing rain
3. Tongue stuck to flagpole.

[JudyPatooty]

1. Friday afternoon

[ransom]

1. Friday afternoon
2. freedom has come closer now

[cosmo949]

1. Friday afternoon
2. freedom has come closer now
3. we weep with relief

[zefrank]

1. So close to Christmas

[ransom]

1. So close to Christmas
2. the turkey shows its power

[Hamtastica]

So close to Christmas
the turkey shows its power:
Stealth ninja attack!

[lapietra]

From my cold dead hand

[Deviate]

From my cold dead hand
Breathes pulsing fire, flame, and ash

[ransom]

1. From my cold dead hand
2. Breathes pulsing fire, flame, and ash
3. just popped a big zit

[Deviate]

1. It is not the same

[Hamtastica]

It is not the same
My ass has grown to size twelve

[Deviate]

1. It is not the same
2. My ass has grown to size twelve
3. Bigger, happier

[Hamtastica]

1. Cat stares under fridge

[JudyPatooty]

1. Cat stares under fridge
2. What tasty morsel is there?

[Deviate]

1. Cat stares under fridge
2. What tasty morsel is there?
3. MMMM, moldy meat-fat!

[JudyPatooty]

1. Deep purple sunset

[ransom]

1. Deep purple sunset
2. what in hells bells does this mean?

[Deviate]

1. Deep purple sunset
2. what in hells bells does this mean?
3. asked the sinking orb

[dinzdale]

1) Drink another drink

[lapietra]

1. Drink another drink
2. Building a beer can temple

[zefrank]

1. Drink another drink
2. Building a beer can temple
3. Crap! Does God like Coors?

[amanda]

1. With apples for eyes

[cosmo949]

1. With apples for eyes
2. I sense the caramel sun

[JudyPatooty]

1. With apples for eyes
2. I sense the caramel sun
3. Sugar syrup burns!!!!

[JudyPatooty]

1. It's not you, it's me

[Deviate]

1. It's not you, it's me
2. Said the silvery space man

[dinzdale]

1. It's not you, it's me
2. Said the silvery spaceman
3. Smug silver bastard.

[cosmo949]

1. Now tied up, tied down

[dinzdale]

1. Now tied up, tied down
2. Mistress Cruel approaches me

[amanda]

1. Now tied up, tied down
2. Mistress Cruel approaches me
3. Now tied down, it's up

[JudyPatooty]

1. Rank smelling cat box

[dinzdale]

1. Rank smelling cat box
2. Reeking stench of catfood poo

[Deviate]

1. Rank smelling cat box
2. Reeking stench of catfood poo
3. Ah-ah-ah, AH-CHOO!

[dinzdale]

1. Light a big cigar

[amanda]

1. Light a big cigar
2. What would Freud think of me?

[JudyPatooty]

1. Light a big cigar
2. What would Freud think of me?
3. I inhale slowly

[Deviate]

1. O, Crocodile

[dinzdale]

1. O, Crocodile
2. I pray you've eaten today

[helenly]

SNAP! There goes a duck...

[helenly]

1. O crocodile
2. I pray you've eaten today
3. Snap! there goes a duck...

[JudyPatooty]

1. "Why a duck?" she asked

[Deviate]

1. "Why a duck?" she asked
2. "Clench-ed tight in reptile mouth?"

[helenly]

why a duck, she asked?
clenched tight in reptile mouth
he chews quietly

[helenly]

ducks have beaky smiles

[JudyPatooty]

1. ducks have beaky smiles
2. unlike the wily hedgehog

[Deviate]

1. ducks have beaky smiles
2. unlike the wily hedgehog
3. known for his sharp pricks.

[Deviate]

Originally posted by amanda
the plum-sauced girl

Only 4 syallables. Want to add a fifth?

-st.

[amanda]

1. the plum-sauced girl drank

[Deviate]

1. the plum-sauced girl drank
2. the purple plums poisoned her

[catbelly]

1. the plum-sauced girl drank
2. the purple plums poisoned her
3. Goddamn MSG

[cosmo949]

1. Small paws on floor scratch

[catbelly]

1. Small paws on floor scratch
2. Who's sneaking up on my ass?

[lapietra]

1. Small paws on floor scratch
2. Who's sneaking up on my ass?
3. GAAAAAH! small paw, sharp claw!

[lapietra]

1. Who drank the last beer?

[cosmo949]

1. Who drank the last beer?
2. Empty bottles line the room.

[Hamtastica]

1. Who drank the last beer?
2. Empty bottles line the room.
3. (One was filled with pee.)

[helenly]

1. toes squelching through mud

[dinzdale]

1. toes squelching through mud
2. where did I leave my flip-flops?

[Deviate]

1. toes squelching through mud
2. where did I leave my flip-flops?
3. pink strap sinking fast

[cosmo949]

1. Sleepy eyes half shut

[Deviate]

1. Sleepy eyes half shut
2. Ears buzzing, phantom voices

[cosmo949]

1. Sleepy eyes half shut
2. Ears buzzing, phantom voices
3. Quick! Inject caffeine!

[ransom]

1. procrastination

[cosmo949]

1. procrastination
2. too much deliberation

[JudyPatooty]

1. procrastination
2. too much deliberation
3. I'll wait till later

[dinzdale]

1. The man in the moon

[Deviate]

1. The man in the moon
2. With his face battered, bruised, scarred

[AllegroNg]

1. The man in the moon
2. With his face battered, bruised, scarred
3. Can't dance properly

[JudyPatooty]

1. My mouse pad is old

[Deviate]

1. My mouse pad is old
2. I have no mouse pad at all

[dinzdale]

1. My mouse pad is old
2. I have no mouse pad at all
3. Padless, homeless mice.

[helenly]

1. fabulous new boots

[JudyPatooty]

1. fabulous new boots
2. spiky heels and pointy toes

[Deviate]

1. fabulous new boots
2. spiky heels and pointy toes
3. tortured, blistered feet

[cosmo949]

1. Waking so slowly

[Deviate]

1. Waking so slowly
2. Balanced on tiny thin spikes

[dinzdale]

1. Waking so slowly
2. Balanced on tiny thin spikes
3. Up and down my spine

[JudyPatooty]

1. Naughty, naughty bird

[Deviate]

1. Naughty, naughty bird
2. You are so very wily

[ransom]

1. Naughty, naughty bird
2. You are so very wily
3. poopy shoulder stain

[amanda]

1. Dancing elephant

[ransom]

1. Dancing elephant
2. election wins are so fun

[Deviate]

1. Dancing elephant
2. election wins are so fun
3. bent under donkey

[cosmo949]

1. Tiny little dung

[dinzdale]

1. Tiny little dung
2. Noise made by a tiny bell

[cosmo949]

1. Tiny little dung
2. Noise made by a tiny bell
3. That only I hear

[JudyPatooty]

1. Yawning smiley face

[Deviate]

1. Yawning smiley face
2. Goes 'squish!' against my pillow

[dinzdale]

1. Yawning smiley face
2. Goes 'squish!' against my pillow
3. Falls back into sleep

[cosmo949]

1. big bad sins of love

[ransom]

1. big bad sins of love
2. big bad price is always paid

[JudyPatooty]

1. big bad sins of love
2. big bad price is always paid
3. Oh, but big bad fun!

[catbelly]

1. why am I at work?

[oldsoul2002]

1. why am i at work?
2. photocopier smoking.

[cosmo949]

1. why am i at work?
2. photocopier smoking.
3. buttocks on cold glass

[cosmo949]

1. where's my sweet daddy

[oldsoul2002]

1. where's my sweet daddy
2. soft moonlight, mocks my pain.

[kittykatkarma]

1. where's my sweet daddy
2. My pain mocked by soft moonlight.
3. In cold depths he lay.

[amanda]

1. wine glass is empty

[kittykatkarma]

1. wine glass is empty
2. Soft flames flicker in the hearth

[JudyPatooty]

1. wine glass is empty
2. Soft flames flicker in the hearth
3. passed out on sofa

[kittykatkarma]

1. His eyes shine, I stare

[cosmo949]

Tail wagging, he brings his ball

[cosmo949]

1. His eyes shine, I stare
2. Tail wagging, he brings his ball

[JudyPatooty]

1. His eyes shine, I stare
2. Tail wagging, he brings his ball
3. Throw it one more time!

[oldsoul2002]

1. Notorious funk

[AllegroNg]

1. Notorious funk
2. Comes from Annie's litter box

[saskuoch]

1. Notorious funk
2. Comes from Annie's litter box
3. She's playing with poo.

[beckstra]

1. Notorious funk
2. Comes from Annie's litter box
3. She's playing with poo.
4. She thinks you should too.

[JudyPatooty]

Hey Beckstra,

Where do you think you are? Communal Limericks? ;)

[LadyCrow]

1. Notorious funk
2. Comes from Annie's litter box
3. She's playing with poo.
4. She thinks you should too.
5. My sister's dogs ate some.

[JudyPatooty]

1. Love: joy agony

[cosmo949]

1. Love: joy agony
2. Twist my arm; I'll fall for you

[LadyCrow]

1. Love: joy agony
2. Twist my arm; I'll fall for you
3. Gambling: my soul is bare

[cosmo949]

1. A mystery now

[catbelly]

1. A mystery now
2. What is that funky odor?

[AllegroNg]

1. A mystery now
2. What is that funky odor?
3. Poo's stuck to her feet!!! :eek:

[ransom]

1. time is so fleeting

[cosmo949]

1. time is so fleeting
2. borders change, powers grow weak

[Deviate]

1. time is so fleeting
2. borders change, powers grow weak
2. screwed, no watch, no map

[ransom]

1. hey buddy, budd-eeeh!

[Deviate]

1. hey buddy, budd-eeeh!
2. hey hey buddy baby boy

[ransom]

1. hey buddy, budd-eeeh!
2. hey hey buddy baby boy
3. do you like beans too?!?!?

[catbelly]

1. Oh god, ate too much

[surflugen]

1. Oh god, ate too much
2. I think I might just explode

[LadyCrow]

1. Oh god, ate too much
2. I think I might just explode
3. Just like the blueberry girl

[cosmo949]

1. Moonlight floods the sky

[catbelly]

1. Moonlight floods the sky
2. Wrap'd about the silver tree

[mix137]

1. Moonlight floods the sky
2. Wrap'd about the silver tree
3. And falls upon you

[oldsoul2002]

1. Neverending love.

[cosmo949]

1. Neverending love.
2. Binds me to this little child

[Deviate]

1. Neverending love.
2. Binds me to this little child
3. Curled tight and shaking

[cosmo949]

1. Holistic self-help

[JudyPatooty]

1. Holistic self-help
2. Green tea and hot miso soup

[Deviate]

1. Holistic self-help
2. Green tea and hot miso soup
3. Cure me of my ails

[JudyPatooty]

1. Broken window pane

[oldsoul2002]

1. Broken window pane.
2. Lil' boys running down the lane

[catbelly]

1. Broken window pane.
2. Lil' boys running down the lane
3. Who will take the fall?

[amanda]

1. lost my little egg

[catbelly]

1. lost my little egg
2. where has chuckie been lately

[ransom]

1. lost my little egg
2. where has chuckie been lately
3. gonna poach his butt

[JudyPatooty]

1. Am I qualified

[Deviate]

1. Am I qualified
2. To pour your coffee, Dinzdale?

[cosmo949]

1. Am I qualified
2. To pour your coffee, Dinzdale?
3. Apparently not

[helenly]

1. singing in the bath

[JudyPatooty]

1. singing in the bath
2. off-key and very loudly

[Deviate]

1. singing in the bath
2. off-key and very loudly
3. blood washing away

[ransom]

1. i loathe baltimore

[oldsoul2002]

1. i loathe baltimore
2. ravens are just birds, for shame

[Deviate]

um... OldSoul... 2nd line should have 7 syllables...

-st.

[helenly]

rav-ens are just birds, for shame
1-2 3 4 5 6 7

(i think that line's ok actually)


1. i loathe baltimore
2. ravens are just birds, for shame
3. black-wing'd ugly crows

[oldsoul2002]

1.Knowing one has faults

[helenly]

1. knowing one has faults
2. for instance, dancing badly

[nycwriters]

I'm a rebel:

I suck at Haikus
I could never do them
That's why I do not

[cosmo949]

1. knowing one has faults
2. for instance, dancing badly
3. makes one more noble

[cosmo949]

1. noone has noticed

[oldsoul2002]

1. noone has noticed
2. my awkward paranoia





PS: Deviate was originally correct, in that my first post in that haiku above was:

ravens are just birds

thnx Dev'! :O]

[helenly]

1. no-one has noticed
2. my awkward paranoia
3. they're coming for me!

[Deviate]

1. quick with fork-ed tongue

[oldsoul2002]

1. quick with fork-ed tongue
2. belittleing foes with zest

[cosmo949]

1. quick with fork-ed tongue
2. belittleing foes with zest
3. I cheer kids soccer

[helenly]

1. bastard ex-boyfriend

[Deviate]

1. bastard ex-boyfriend
2. waits in bushes outside home

[oldsoul2002]

1. bastard ex-boyfriend
2. waits in bushes outside home
3. loading my twelve gauge

[lapietra]

1) Dumb car stalled again.

[JudyPatooty]

1) Dumb car stalled again.
2) Stupid *bleep* *bleep* rust bucket!

[Deviate]

1) Dumb car stalled again.
2) Stupid *bleep* *bleep* rust bucket!
3) Malfunctioning horn

[oldsoul2002]

1. Insomnia weeps

[Deviate]

1. Insomnia weeps
2. Sitting alone on a fence

[cosmo949]

1. Insomnia weeps
2. Sitting alone on a fence
3. The night presses down

[cosmo949]

1. The phone is silent

[oldsoul2002]

1. The phone is silent
2. overwhelming ambitions

[AllegroNg]

1. The phone is silent
2. overwhelming ambitions
3. Whoops, the ringer's off:(

[ransom]

1. gobble o' gobble

[kittykatkarma]

1. gobble o' gobble
2. last sad cry of the turkey

[JudyPatooty]

1. gobble o' gobble
2. last sad cry of the turkey
3. why not be vegan?

[cosmo949]

1. Pass the pecan pie!

[amanda]

1. Pass the pecan pie!
2. kitty's in the pumpkin pie

[cosmo949]

1. Pass the pecan pie!
2. kitty's in the pumpkin pie
3. (just eat around it)

[helenly]

birdsong overhead

[catbelly]

1. birdsong overhead
2. naugtybird! Watch out for bombs!

[lapietra]

1. birdsong overhead
2. naugtybird! Watch out for bombs!
3. CURSES! soil'd again.

[helenly]

john, paul, george, ringo

[cosmo949]

1. john, paul, george, ringo
2. they sang all you need is love

[noella]

3. your nose is running

[noella]

ok i screwed up, here's a new one


1. looking out the door

[helenly]

1. looking out the door
2. head poking through the catflap

[ransom]

1. looking out the door
2. head poking through the catflap
3. ze got stuck AGAIN!

[noella]

1. vanilla chai tea

[catbelly]

1. vanilla chai tea
2. half-skim no foam extra hot

[AllegroNg]

1. vanilla chai tea
2. half-skim no foam extra hot
3. Bye, thanks a latte!!

(Vanilla 2% extra hot no foam Chai)
<~~~Coffee Goddess:'(

[JudyPatooty]

1. Crowded shopping mall

[helenly]

1. crowded shopping mall
2. lost child wailing for mommy

[ransom]

1. crowded shopping mall
2. lost child wailing for mommy
3. next time use a leash

[noella]

1. metal scraping sounds

[ransom]

1. metal scraping sounds
2. braces stuck on chain length fence

[noella]

1. metal scraping sounds
2. braces stuck on chain length fence
3. double dog dare died

[cosmo949]

1. Farewell to our parks

[JudyPatooty]

1. Farewell to our parks
2. Greetings to the big oil rigs

[helenly]

1. farewell to our parks
2. greetings to the big oil rigs
3. which have fewer trees

[noella]

1. we want our own oil

[dinzdale]

1. we want our own oil
2. so we can slide together

[Deviate]

1. we want our own oil
2. so we can slide together
3. without any pants

[cosmo949]

1. Once more with feeling

[Deviate]

1. Once more with feeling
2. Said the lonely emotions

[zefrank]

1. Once more with feeling
2. Said the lonely emotions
3. Gore's lips slightly curl

[Deviate]

1) Smelly grey ham loaf

[cosmo949]

1) Smelly grey ham loaf
2) Makes anything else look good

[dinzdale]

1) Smelly grey ham loaf
2) Makes anything else look good
3) Except for green cheese

[noella]

1. strike up the band now

[catbelly]

1. strike up the band now
2. that funky music, white boy

[helenly]

bass, drums, keys, horns- jazz!

[bluephisto]

I need caffine now

[noella]

I need caffine now
2. diet vanilla coke please =)

[catbelly]

1. I need caffine now
2. diet vanilla coke please =)
3. before I konk out

[surflugen]

1. Could anyone please give

[AllegroNg]

1. Could anyone please give
2. me only five syllables

[Deviate]

1. Could anyone please give
2. me only five syllables
3. Oops! I'm one ov-.

[beckstra]

1. rag doll in the dirt

[catbelly]

1. rag doll in the dirt
2. floppy, forgotten, lonely

[helenly]

1. rag doll in the dirt
2. floppy, forgotten, lonely
3.wears a dumb, fix'd smile

[amanda]

1. tasty red wine lips

[cosmo949]

1. tasty red wine lips
2. to drink from them all night long

[Deviate]

1. tasty red wine lips
2. to drink from them all night long
3. slippery dino

[surflugen]

Giving all I can

[Deviate]

1) Giving all I can
2) Under the sheets, on my knees

[cosmo949]

1) Giving all I can
2) Under the sheets, on my knees
3) This love knows no bounds

[helenly]

1.hollow hug goodbye

[surflugen]

1) hollow hug goodbye
2) empty feeling in my heart

[Deviate]

1) hollow hug goodbye
2) empty feeling in my heart
3) purple banana

[cosmo949]

1. small tree tied to car

[AllegroNg]

1. small tree tied to car
2. thin rope breaks, setting tree freeeee!

[dinzdale]

1. small tree tied to car
2. thin rope breaks, setting tree freeeee!
3. Slam it in reverse.

[cosmo949]

1) Growls with mock malice

[AllegroNg]

1) Growls with mock malice
2. Laughs like bowl full of jelly

[Deviate]

1) Growls with mock malice
2) Laughs like bowl full of jelly
3) Schitzo Santa's here!

[surflugen]

It's the deep blue sea

[oldsoul2002]

1.It's the deep clue Sea
2. My toilets over-flowing

[cosmo949]

1.It's the deep clue Sea
2. My toilets over-flowing
3. the tide takes my dreams

[cosmo949]

1. its not enough to

[Deviate]

1. its not enough to
2. balance the guava thusly

[cosmo949]

1. its not enough to
2. balance the guava thusly
3. you must punish it!

[cosmo949]

1. Musak kills the mood

[catbelly]

1. Musak kills the mood
2. Hard to grind to that rhythm