Stupid things I've said

[Deviate]

I always say the stupidest things.

They're usually innocent phrases that, taken out of context, can be construed as sexually implicit statements. When I was in high school we kept a running tab of these comments and plastered them on the walls.

Who else knows the pangs of embarrassment when the right words mean the wrong things?


Last night I came up with this choice phrase:

"As long as it's wet and in my mouth, I don't care."

- when asked while coughing wildly what I wanted to drink

[Frieda]

oh i recognize that.. i usually say things without thinking.. stuff like this happens a *lot* :D

one of mine:

"as soon as you're thinking something, i'm already doing it"

[Eruantale]

"Want some of my hot stuff?"
-Me, innocently offering Tabasco sauce.

[Deviate]

"Don't worry if you can't get it up. It looks good and you can show it off. Just hold it up."

-to a group of cheerleaders having trouble with a display

[chuckie egg]

" Is that fish I can smell or is it me? "

[bri]

I'm too used to customer service people sending me off with, "Have a nice day!"...

Ticket agent: Have a good flight, sir!
bri: Same to you!
:o

[NekoPunk]

one of the guys visiting our dorm told my roommate that "she looked cute with her mouth full"

hehehe... he turned bright red when we all started laughing.

[Deviate]

"That woman needs a blow job."
-when looking at a magazine ad and trying to think of the term "air brush" (in front of my parents)

[zenbabe]

"oh look, he is getting his morning wood"

- said while standing on a balcony at my boyfriends parents house with his parents and uncles standing right there. We were watching the dog down below chew on a branch of a tree....

*BLUSH*

[Frieda]

HAHAHAH zen.. omg.. :D

[Deviate]

bump.

[ally]

Originally posted by Deviate
"That woman needs a blow job."
-when looking at a magazine ad and trying to think of the term "air brush" (in front of my parents)

*spits tea all over the pc*

[chuckie egg]

hahah!

[Aphrodite]

I was explaining a diet to two men in a very professional setting. One asked about mouthwash and if it would effect his diet. I replied...

"It won't add any calories because you spit it out. Spit, Don't Swallow."

The room got really quiet while I turned red, and we all tried really hard to pretend I didn't say that.

[Audreyvgs]

:p

[agentsmith]

hahaha....

[Dinzsmum]

I can 'andle my booze; what time did you say the Navy was landing?

[fodder]

I just said, "Everyone thought it was obscene because it was made real pornographically."


:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :mad:

[Gatsby]

"Do you wanna to take a chota shetila?"