Profanities and the Whatnot

[Deviate]

does anyone else here swear like a mofo?

i have the loosest tongue of anyone i know and swear like a sailor. i try to keep it clean for the board but find i lose a lot of my conversational voice when i do. i sound like a term paper.

-st.

[bealeblues]

i routinely drop the f-bomb around here... luckily, everyone i work with is a compulsive swearer too... my secretary is almost as bad as i am, so we have a good working relationship....

funny thing about our office is that no one stays around for very long.. you have to be of a certain cloth to fit in around here, and everyone knows that nothing is sacred.... your life is an open book and it's always open season on your life.... takes a very thick skin to co-exist with us....

[Deviate]

we're incredibly blue-collar around here; jeans, tennies, etc. my assistant has gotten used to the constant string of -bleep-.

-st.

[Frieda]

i swear worse than most of the people i know.. so i've heard :D people seem to get used to it though..

[AllegroNg]

Bitch

[bealeblues]

i almost laughed out loud at that...

[Frieda]

bitch? BITCH? is that all you can f*cking come up with?? aw NG! come on.. :D

[AllegroNg]

Bitches

[Frieda]

:D :p

[Deviate]

wooo hooo, ****in' language REVOLOUTION BABY!

go NG!

-st.

[NekoPunk]

ahh, geez, my roommate is from NYC... now, i'll admit i do my share, but i've never ever heard someone swear like her. she makes up new words every day. it's hilarious

[AllegroNg]

Hell

[bealeblues]

give us some of them--- i'm all for plagiarism.... it'll make it sound like i had an original thought down here!

[NekoPunk]

very very long... a convo we had 2 feet away from one another. ^_^ (i'm neko, she's the fox)

READ THE WHOLE DAMN THING! LEARN TO INSULT WITH FLAIR!!

NekoChan: you are such a whore, ya know that?? and you aren't a very good seducer. so there.
TellMeImAFox: DIE BITCH!
NekoChan: whore
TellMeImAFox: YOU NEVER LOVED ME ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!
NekoChan: i did, once....
NekoChan: but you scorned my love
TellMeImAFox: I'M FILING A RESTRAINING ORDER
TellMeImAFox: AND I WANT SOLE CUSTODY OF MY PENS!!!!!
TellMeImAFox: penis
TellMeImAFox: penis
TellMeImAFox: penis
NekoChan: you have a penis now??
TellMeImAFox: i mean. pens
NekoChan: they like me better anyway
TellMeImAFox: no you kill them in the wash
NekoChan: LIAR
TellMeImAFox: I seen it!
NekoChan: wench
TellMeImAFox: ass munced **** doodle
TellMeImAFox: your dumper is chubby and your poots smell like doody
TellMeImAFox: fart face cat barf breath
TellMeImAFox: you fling poo at old ladies.
TellMeImAFox: and they like it
NekoChan: nooo.. i throw peanuts at them
NekoChan: and yes, they do like it
TellMeImAFox: oh yeah? when. when peanuts were in the poo?
NekoChan: i don't really remember
NekoChan: which time?
NekoChan: freakazoid
TellMeImAFox: I dont know you tell me
TellMeImAFox: no thats a show. and your insults lack character
NekoChan: your mom lacks character
TellMeImAFox: hell yeah
NekoChan: ^_^
TellMeImAFox: my mom thinks school is for fools
TellMeImAFox: thats why she dropped acid and made ds
TellMeImAFox: and dropped ds
TellMeImAFox: My dad says greedy people have tight assholes.
NekoChan: like your mom, right?
TellMeImAFox: I don't know. I never examined her asshole
NekoChan: you should. it's very nice
TellMeImAFox: why: are u a proctologist?
NekoChan: i make money out the wazoo
TellMeImAFox: what's a wazoo exactly?
NekoChan: asshole
TellMeImAFox: oh
TellMeImAFox: wazoo muncher
NekoChan: you're such a ****rag
TellMeImAFox: no, but i'm wearing one.
TellMeImAFox: want it?
NekoChan: no
NekoChan: thanks, though
NekoChan: 'preciate the offer
TellMeImAFox: ewwww. aposterhy using poot faced namby panmby dick licking doodle.
NekoChan: i'm rubber and you're glue. whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you
NekoChan: haha
TellMeImAFox: no it doesn't
NekoChan: yeah huh
TellMeImAFox: I'm lube
NekoChan: ewwww
TellMeImAFox: lube goes well with rubbers tho.
NekoChan: you tell me
TellMeImAFox: Already did, coochie dumper doodle
NekoChan: right then....
TellMeImAFox: doodle menace strikes again
TellMeImAFox: quief licking tittie bucket.
NekoChan: god! can't you spell ****whore??
TellMeImAFox: you still lack imagination
NekoChan: **** you
TellMeImAFox: and i'm still lube
NekoChan: not really. i checked
TellMeImAFox: uh huh. your just a big mokey loving doodle bottle
NekoChan: haha, you have to live with me
TheyTellMeImAFox: witch elephant wrinkles
NekoChan: what the hell??
TellMeImAFox: uh huh
TellMeImAFox: winky pie wang squeezer
TellMeImAFox: dickslapping noddy doodle sock.

NekoChan: i have personality
NekoChan: ^_^
TellMeImAFox: well, howabout funneling some of that personality into creative insults
TellMeImAFox: that make your opposition laugh and feel stupid
TellMeImAFox: and say.. "whaaaa?"
TellMeImAFox: first try 2 words. like.... peacock burrito.
NekoChan: **** off
TellMeImAFox: oh yeah?
NekoChan: **** you too, uhh... peacock doodle burrito>>
NekoChan: ??
TellMeImAFox: good
NekoChan: right then.. uh...
NekoChan: goodnight, shoe mongering ass wipe doodle
TellMeImAFox: now youre on the trolley.

[AllegroNg]

::Falls off chair::

Haa haa

Wanky doodle went to towwwwn!

Someone call Neko a busdriver coz she is taking them to schooool

[bealeblues]

wow. 'nuff said.

[NekoPunk]

hahahah!! i didn't notice the board blocked out some of the words! *LOL* they're the 'F' word and the 'C' word... mostly the 'c' word

[AllegroNg]

****

[AllegroNg]

=-O

What, I can't say ****?!? I didn't know that!

Wait.. I thought it was a k-word, not a c-word.. wow.. have I been doing it wrong all along???=-O

[NekoPunk]

see!! that's so funny...

[NekoPunk]

yeah, **** is a c word. it's one of those 'hard c' words.

[beckstra]

Um...yikes. I admit, the closest I come to cussing is saying, "damn." I don't do it a lot. I usually just use it when I'm angry and writing. Other than that, I keep my foulness to myself. Or strictly limit it to times of severe road rage when I'm alone in my car.

I'm a weenie, but I'm pretty sure that's cause I know the parents will attack.

[NekoPunk]

don't be sorry about that. i think it's great not to cuss. i try not to, but it's so boring here... i've gotta do something to not go insane.

[dinzdale]

Beckstra, just learn a little Cockney ryhming slang and refer to things such as:
a "Jack and Danny" = fanny (UK for vagina)
a "Rogan Josh" = a nosh (i.e blow job)
a "Pie and mash" = gash (vagina)
having a "J.Arthur" = J.Arthur Rank (wank)

....and many more, which the Sherman's (American's) dont understand when I'm not being amusing, merely insulting.

[zenbabe]

Maybe this should have been in the being little sections, but, my very first word was sh*t....busted that one out at a dinner party...Needless to say, my bad word vocabulary has grown 100 fold since then..

[rmr]

my secretary is almost as bad as i am, so we have a good working relationship....


Cracked me up.


I too, love to swear like the rest of you f'n beyatchs!!!

[dinzdale]

For the expert swearers, check out:
www.Viz.co.uk and the section called Roger's Profannisaurus.
Highly educational.

[NekoPunk]

i think strumpet is a wonderful word that's not used nearly enough. ^_^

[red]

Originally posted by dinzdale
Beckstra, just learn a little Cockney ryhming slang and refer to things such as:
a "Jack and Danny" = fanny (UK for vagina)
a "Rogan Josh" = a nosh (i.e blow job)
a "Pie and mash" = gash (vagina)
having a "J.Arthur" = J.Arthur Rank (wank)


Wow a fanny pack has a whole new meaning. I'll make sure not to mention finding something for a "nosh" in London!

[saskuoch]

The other night, my roommate asked me, "What does this word 'shit' that you use all the time mean?" I found myself trying to explain the meaning of the word shit in all the various contexts in which I'd used it. I finally gave up and searched the internet to find the e-mail I'd received a couple of times:

"Shit may be the most powerful word in the English Language.

You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains.

With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for
your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, forget shit and tell
others to eat shit and die.

You can shit or go blind, have a shit fit or just shit your life away.

People can be shit heads, have shit for brains, shit blinded, and shit
over.

Some people know their shit while others can't tell the difference
between shit and shienola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits.

There is bull shit, horse shit, chicken shit, ostrich shit, and goose
shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, or duck when the shit hits
the fan.

You can take a shit, give a shit, or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself deep in shit or happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some are hotter than shit, and some days
are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are
times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong
shit, or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit
creek without a paddle.

Sometimes you really need this shit and sometimes you don't want any shit
at all.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you swim in
a lake of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

SHIT !!!!

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of
communication.

Remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anyone else's. "

I think she gets it now. Luckily, my repertoire of foul language has been relatively limited this semester or I'd've been up all night trying to explain the nuances of various words.

[amanda]

I'd've? I'm surprised you aren't up trying to explain double contractions don't exist in English. ;)

[saskuoch]

Hey! I can use whatever English I want here! I can double and triple contract to my heart's content! What is this, English class?

:)

[amanda]

That means cockney and pig latin is allowed here?!? YeeSSSSS!!!!

(Putting her hands in her rocket, ffuflling-shay her ands-hay, trying to remember her lost verbiage...)

[dinzdale]

...sounds like she's a gusset typist if you ask me.

[NekoPunk]

sounds like a typist? that can't be too interesting...

[dinzdale]

Gusset typist
Harp Player
Crotch Pianist
i.e Female masturbation

...and that's interesting to all of us......

[Deviate]

hip hip hurrah to that, dinzdale!

-st.

[NekoPunk]

ahhh. that must be old people slang. ^_^

[NekoPunk]

speaking of profanity... well.. sorta... i had to explain to my english class what skeevy meant today. i mentioned something about "skeevy losers" and they all gave me a blank look. that's a white bred southern school for ya.

[dinzdale]

It's almost impossible to explain to any Americans what the true meaning of calling someone a "wanker" is.
..and they certainly dont have the casual use of c***, and seem to revere it as a BIG word only for women, instead of
"How are you doin' today, you old c***" ....see perfectly nice and friendly.

[Deviate]

gotta love the c word.

-st.

[NekoPunk]

ah, wanker. that's one of my fav's. i use french curse words all the time. however, i like to just call people cows in french. dunno why, it just flows easier, and i don't have to worry when teachers asked me to explain what i just muttered under my breath. ^__^

[amanda]

Whoa!! Hey!! Don't DO that!! I just woke up!

Dinz, don’t talk wank. ;)

Nyc, tu parles francais?

[red]

I wish I spoke French, Amanda.
I will be thumbing through a French phrasebook trying to communicate on vacation. I understand the Feanch appreciate an attempt better than none. I hope they are patient with me.:D

Spanish is so much easier.

[NekoPunk]

je parle francais un peu... mais c'est seulment "high school french". je ne parle pas bien.

[bealeblues]

ok, i'll let the inside french conversation pass--- i just don't want to see any 'beale' and 'merde', etc. words in the same sentences.....

[Deviate]

funny, i can understand french but i can't write it worth crap. i could go to France and be a convincing mute, or, listen in on conversations 'cause people think i don't know what they're saying...

ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.... Bond, Deviate Bond.

-st.

[amanda]

Je apprend mon francais dans l'ecole. Mais, non! Votre francais est formidable! J'espere parler bien un jour. Peut-etre, j' aurais aller France, n'est-ce pas? Un jour... apres Japon.

Et, cet un homme, quel une tete du merde, n'est-ce pas? Je desire voir si il comprends moi. J'espere que non. ;)

(Si vous comprennez, c'est un blage!)

[Deviate]

hey, who you calling a shithead?

-bond.

[amanda]

sshhhhhh!!!!

[dinzdale]

Morning Amanda,
thanks for the advice......oh that wasnt advice, it was an admonishment, ah well c'est la vie.

..and what's with all the poxy French?
The only french you need to know is " Nous surrendrons !"

[Deviate]

ouch D. killer. ;)

-bond.

[amanda]

Funny, all the Spanish I know is "Cervesa, por favor"

(Actually, I know more than that, but not much more.)

Red: take what you know in Spanish, don't say half of the letters in the words, and the French will get the general idea of what you are trying to say.

hee-hee! dinz, you're awful. Perhaps, "Ou est le frommage?" also, since English cheese tends to be shite.

[dinzdale]

That's all you need.
How about your Kraut?
"Ich bin der Mann mit dem grossten schwanz"

[amanda]

REALLLY?!!?!?! Hold on while I check airfares to Houston....

Ich bin nicht porple (I'm not purple)(?) is the only German I know. But I'm sure there will come a time when that'll be handy.

Anyone else? Chinese, Japanese (Watashi wa amerikan-jin desu), Italian, Russian, Swahilli....

[Deviate]

hae'em et-shar limtzo misheha sheyetargem?

i'd be very happy with whomever knows this.

-st.

[dinzdale]

I thought I'm not purple translated to " Ich bin nicht Barney, der fairyboydinosuarensheisser"

..as they say in Arabic " Ham dehli-lah"

[amanda]

Could be. Learned it while I was drunk, so my memory is a little foggy....

Points to Deviate: what's zat? Yer sher do talk funny!!!

[Frieda]

hmm.. lots of languages here..

i speak dutch, french, german, english and i can read spanish.. they don't teach much more than that in high school here.. too bad!

[Deviate]

like they say in the holy land: lech zayen et ima schelcha.

-st.

[amanda]

:bowing: I commend thee.

I find myself lapsing into French whenever I'm searching in my brain for the right Japanese word. So, to have all those languages floating around in your brain, I'm truly impressed, Frieda.

Deviate: thought that after I asked- never seen it in roman script before. Heard it spoken many times, though.

[amanda]

Well, I have to go to bed- I need to get up early tomorrow and get lost in Yokohama. (It's visa time!! Yipee!)

Did you know I was an alien? Home-grown and pure-bred, and I've got the paperwork to prove it. Watch out, those of you who are going to get killed by alien abduction... never said what kind, did it? ;)

Sweet dreams

[bealeblues]

Et, cet un homme, quel une tete du merde, n'est-ce pas? Je desire voir si il comprends moi. J'espere que non.

i think i got the joke, but i didn't respond b/c i was too busy piecing back together the wrecked parts of my self-esteem....

i took enough high school french to recognize the key words and, well (in my best soap opera voice), i'll just never be the same....

[NekoPunk]

i'm planning on taking japanese next year... i'm so sick of french. ^_^ i'd like to be able to speak japanese... it's just so hard, and the characters... and all three parts... ehh

[dickieC]

Best translation joke ever:

Fawlty Towers, Basil Fawlty trying to chat up French antique dealer at hotel, she describes her day out in Torquay's finest antique shops, to which Cleese replies "Ah, formidable!"

Only he pronounces it in English.

Has me stitches every time. It's the way you tell 'em.

DC

[Deviate]

i did Japanese for awhile. i quit after i got to the counting words. flat, cylindrical, who cares, just count it and be done! oy vey iz mir.

-st.

[amanda]

:Runs over to help Beale put together the shattered bits of his wounded pride:

There, there, Beale. I would have done the same to anyone that opened themselves for such opportunity. I wouldn't do it if I didn't think you could handle it.

There- you're allowed two insults in my direction- one for my french. The other for the limerick line. Here's your license for "Open Season on amanda". Good for one day only.

Japanese: start with hiragana, feel soild 'bout that, move on to katakana. Once you have that down, then you're ready for kanji. Be careful who your teacher is- who you are depends on what words you can use.