Household Olympics

[amanda]

Yes, Boys and Girls, now you have a place to show off those amazing talents...such as

Sock slide- How far you can slide across the kitchen floor in your socks (it's a professional sport in Japan- that's the real reason you must take off your shoes inside- to protect the playing field)
Cold shower Endurance (tested on length of time and temp.)
The Egg Juggle (length of time and number of eggs. No hard-boiled allowed!)
The Pancake/Crepe Flip (can you completely flip a pancake or crepe without the use of a spatula?)
The Slinky Stair Event (how far can YOUR slinky go?)
And many more!!


New Events are always welcome, but they are subject to approval by the All-Domineering Household Olympic Committee (AD HOC).

Athletes, prepare for the challenge!

[masterofNone]

does it matter how long your slinky is to begin with?

[NekoPunk]

what about living room wrestling? that's hardcore....

[amanda]

In regards to your inquiry Masterofnone, the only Slinky allowed in the Slinky Stair Event is the original regulation-sized Slinky®.

Events added since the first posting are as follows:

Living Room Wrestling
Dirty Dish Pileup
Grape Toss (height and number of consecutive grapes into the mouth will be judged)
Broom Balance (length of time and body part used to balance will count towards scoring)


Summer and Winter events are currently being debated.

There is also a call for A Special Thanksgiving Event. Any ideas?

[NekoPunk]

see who can get the most pieces of turkey before the thing is carved!! oh! and see who can get on who's nerves first. that's always fun at family events. ours always break up with a "what did you mean by that??" ^__^

[Frieda]

how about... a get the vacuum cleaner up the stairs as fast as possible - race?

and umm.. how fast does the cat slip when chasing a toy on your just polished floor? :D

[zenbabe]

Annual Turkey toss?? How about who can last the long before passing out after eating all that turkey...cranberry sauce wrestling?

[Frieda]

oooohh cranberry sauce wrestling.. ;)

how about turkey football?

[amanda]

Exerpts of Minutes from the last meeting:

{Note: just finished testing cranberry wrestling, unanimously considered the finest Thanksgiving sport, while popping cranberries out their ears}

"Hey, hey...whatya guys think? I think Turkey Football would go over real well- get the male-Bud-luvin'-Cheeto-sucker sector..."

"Well, we are hoping to keep Football reserved for the Inter-Species Competitions."

"Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. Hey, I know! What about this: Turkey Bowling! The kids will love it. Get a roast turkey and roll her down to some pins. Nothin' finer!"

Marks Turkey Bowling on the list. "Anything else? We're hoping to do something with mashed potatoes, perhaps sculpting? Tofurky could also be acceptable material..."

"Oooh yeah- sculpture with mashed potatoes...nice. What the hell is Tofurky anyway?"

"Well, it's like this....." {end}

[masterofNone]

turkey bowling works best with a frozen turkey,

[Deviate]

i disagree, Master. i believe the sport is at it's finest with an underdone turkey. the juices provide excellent lubrication and the thin layer slime it leaves allows it to go sailing across almost any surface.

and let's not forget the wonderfull dull squich when it hits the back wall.

my favourite sport: wine mooching. snag as many glasses as possible, drink all night and never fill a glass. the most intoxicated wins.

-st.

[masterofNone]

nice touch!

[zenbabe]

of course the intoxicated will pass out, what happens after this is, you pile as much on top of them as you can without waking them up. Take a picture. Whoever can pile the most on a passed out person wins. Kind of like human jenga..

[zenbabe]

Things that are DIFFICULT to say when you're drunk:
~ Indubitably
~ Innovative
~ Preliminary
~ Proliferation
~ Cinnamon

Things that are VERY DIFFICULT to say when you're drunk:
~ Specificity
~ British Constitution
~ Passive-aggressive disorder
~ Loquacious Transubstantiate

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk:
~ Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
~ Nope, no more booze for me
~ Sorry, but you're not really my type
~ Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
~ Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

[amanda]

HAAAHHaaHAhaaha!!!

[RuneT]

Ind.. Induble Innnnnn... indibuti... Arrrgh! I can't even say it while sober.

Thanks for the hillarious post, zen. :D