Letters that get me through the day.

[beckstra]

Okay, this is where we write letters to whatever/whomever we feel like. I'll go first so you can do by example. Feel free to be as cheesy or shallow as you like.

Dearest daddy,
Next time we get pizza from Papa Murphy's, please don't burn it. You ruined my pineapple pizza. I almost cried. Okay, not really, but you get how terribly sad that made me. Love ya.
Bacco

David Gray,
Meet me on the other side.
A Stranger.

Albertson's Cashier Boy,
I think I just stepped in a puddle of love and got you all over me.
*sigh*

Dear laundry,
Do yourself.
Beck.

MasterofNone,
You write good. I'm glad you write good with me.
Beck.

Dear My Job,
Please, either give me more hours, health insurance, and better pay, or fire me so I can collect unemployment. Yousuckdotcom!
*yarr*

*tag* you're it!

[masterofNone]

Dear Lord,
Please help the Redskins get to the playoffs. Cause, at this point, only you can make it happen.
And, if you have the time, please arrange it so that Gwen Stefani should fall madly in love with me.

MoN

[zenbabe]

I went to the game today, what a great game!!! Chargers won off a field goal in overtime, I really hope that they make it to the super bowl, especially since the super bowl will be in Diego baby!!!!!!

[masterofNone]

Dear Clients,
Early payment of invoices in the month of December will make you eligable to win auto fellatio lesson from a 'ze monkey of your choice.

Dear Creditors
In a new tradition of good cheer, for the month of December, all of your employees can have the month off.

Dear Lord,
On that Gwen Stefani thing, Renee Zelwigger would be okay too...

Hugz
MoN

[AllegroNg]

Dearest Jeff Corwin,
Will you marry me? Please? I'm nice! And I want you for Christmas!
Heart,
Angie

[masterofNone]

Dear Lord,
On that Gwen Stefani, or Renee Zelwigger thing, forget them and make it JLo... word is she's got plenty of crack and you know how much I like the rock babeee

peaceout
MoN

[amanda]

You would think being a magic mushroom and all you'd have enough of it winding through your system....

Dear sanity clause,
Money to pay off the bandits. Multiple plane tickets to see friends and family. A nice guy who treats me decently, has a brain and likes to cook. And no auto fellatio sessions with any of mushroom's clients.

thanks,
~a

[zenbabe]

Dear Santa,

I hate you, lose my number.

signed,
your bitch

[amanda]

hahahaa!! It's a great thing- seeing an image of Shirely Temple next to that post....

[zenbabe]

Bless you hun!

[beckstra]

Santa baby,
The impossible. I want the impossible this Christmas.
Bacco

[zenbabe]

I have one, he just moved in yesterday...YIKES! *slurp*

[AllegroNg]

Eye candy, yay! Is he gay? (prrrrrobably)

[bealeblues]

Dear Tennessee,

please send your mountains and scenery to Louisiana so I have something other than my alcohol bottles to look at

and while you're at it, after you send the mountains and scenery, feel free to implode (but let neko get out first)

-good ol' rockytop

[Deviate]

To my new assistant:

yes, i'm sick. duh.

my trip was fine, stop asking me.

yes, i got a haircut. i lied when i said 'no' to shut you up.

i know my shirt kicks ass, stop telling me how good i look, you creep me out.

thanks for the shot glass, you very nice, naive, freaky crack-whore.

please don't cry when i fire you this week.

-st.

[zenbabe]

Dear Sunday,

Please come back, I love you, I miss you. I will be nice this time!

[Deviate]

Dear Assistant:

the word is "DEFAULT", not "DOWNFAULT".

the word is "ARSENAL", not "ARSENIC" and definitely not "ARSENEO".

-st.

[zenbabe]

Dear Dev,

How in God's name, did this person get a job to begin with?

[Deviate]

Dear ZB:

due to lack of time i was unable to review all 75 applicants thoroughly. of the 6 people with interviews only 3 showed up, one was not an option and we flipped a coin for the other two. it came up 8/10 for this chick.

and she lied on her resume.

-st.

Dear Coin:

you lied. i am through using you to make decisions for me. go to hell.

-st.

Dear Magic 8 Ball:

you may have your old job back. i'm sorry i ignored you.

-st.

[Deviate]

hell yeah. i'm too much of a softy when it comes down to stuff like that. in the heat of the moment i could fire my own mother. in sits like these where it's just this little crap day in and out then i feel like a bully.

grr. i don't know, is it too much to ask that a person saying they have computer experience knows how to drag and drop?

maybe it's just me.

-st.

[bealeblues]

Dear Judge,

yes, i am argumentative

yes, i can be fairly difficult when i want to be

no, i will not settle a case just b/c you want to clear your docket for some winter golf and chivas regal

yes, you will see me at trial and i know that you will get even with me, but you know what, i don't care

love and kisses, me

[zenbabe]

Dear soon to be ex roomate,

Is there a reason that you took all the spices with you? Do you really think that you were the only person that bought any spices in the last 3 years? Do you believe that since your idea of a good meal consists of canned meat and tortillas and my idea of one is seafood alfredo with dill and lemon sauce with roasted red peppers, crab, salmon and white wine. Drat!

:mad:

[masterofNone]

mmmmseafood alfredo with mmmmmdill and mmmmmlemon sauce with mmmmmroasted red peppers, (SSSSLOBBBER)crab, mmmmsalmon and white winemmmm

[zenbabe]

well, not anymore...not until I restock my spice cabinet :mad:

[amanda]

Dear Life,

Don't turn me into one of those women who explain away their anger as "Life's a bitch, so I became one."

Please.

Thanks.

And by the way, you aren't- even when you feel like it.
~a

[saskuoch]

Dear Hong Kong people-

Less is more when it comes to fashion. You should not wear a bright flower print bandana on your head when you're in a suit. You should not buy expensive brown cropped pants and cream sweaters and then wear them with ancient birkenstocks and extra large black socks. Please stop adding that last little touch (too much) so that I can ride the subway without cringing. I keep getting haircuts for the head massage. It's getting expensive and my hair is getting very short. Thanks

The disturbed looking girl on the subway.


Dear girls on my floor-

Tuna fish hot pot is not ok. Stop it. Stop it now.

Love, the one with the plugged nose.

[Deviate]

Dear Assistant:

thank you so much for telling me you think i look like i feel like crap. being sick is such a pleasure on its own, but hearing from you that my eyes look glossy every two minutes is a joy.

-st.

[bealeblues]

Dear DV8's Assistant:

Take your shots while you can. I have it on good and reliable sources that you will be sh*t canned by the end of the week. Ciao.

[dinzdale]

Just got the mail today..lets see........mmmmmm

"Dear Mr Dinzdale,
thank you for your patronage of our Topless Car Wash, however, rolling through the forecourt, strapped to the roof of your vehicle in a Union Jack thong is bringing the Neighbourhood Watch progam to view our enterprise as a nuisance. Please desist or you will hear from our lawyers.
Thank you
The staff at Bernies Buff-o-Rama"

Oh well, another avenue of fun spoiled...........

[Zyle]

Dearest tort law tutor,

No I did NOT read the entire judgment, I only read the summary. No reading it all does NOT help to clarify matters, it only makes it worse. No it most certainly is NOT interesting and NO I DON'T CARE! Yes I DO know the point of law by only reading the summary... (plus prof told us it in the lecture and it's in any tort textbook you could ever find. NYER!) no medical negligence is NOT INTERESTING!

One overwhelmed student, thoroughly in need of xmas holidays.

[Arif-ul Haq]

d

[Zyle]

Dear Arif,

Good luck!!!

- Zyle




Dear Arif's Brain,

Do yourself a favour and do as he says. Maybe he'll stay away from the coffee if you just listen to him...

- Zyle

[bealeblues]

dear zyle and arif,

i feel your pain as i have been in the midst of law finals and the sleep deprivation/immense anxiety,etc that goes along with it.... just remember, it isn't that the material is overly daunting, it is the mental aspect of endurance that is the tricky part..... best of luck and i'm sure you both will do just fine

[Zyle]

Dear Beale,

My finals aren't for another 3 years yet but I think this is probably good advice for the whole course :)
Thankies! :p

Love Zyle


Dear me,

Stop using so many smilies...
and "..." 's

- Z

[Arif-ul Haq]

d

[Zyle]

Dear Arif,

Beale is already a real live lawyer *gasp!*

- Zyle


Dear Arif's Brain

no problemo ;)

- Z


Dear other law people

so, finals are at the end of FIRST year? We don't call them finals till.. well.. the end of the course :p

- Z


Dear Me

Go to bed. Now.

- Z

[beckstra]

Dear tummy,
I know that was too much. If you could help me out by rejecting it all, I'd greatly appreciate it. If not, I promise not to eat at all tomorrow as the mere sight of food sickens me. Darn the holidays, darn them all!!!
Beck.

Dear my friend Chad,
I like you. Like *that.* Now you reciprocate. Thanks.
Beck.

Dear Jesus,
My tummy hurts. Please make it stop. Thank you.
Bacco

Dear Oakview Mall,
I do not want to work Christmas season hours. Yousuckdotcom!
Rebecca L. (LB)

Dear Panera Bread,
If my tummy didn't feel so bad, I'd be up for cinnamon hot chocolate. Sadly, I feel like crap, so no go. :(
Beck.

[masterofNone]

Dear Zyle's internal editor,
They're called ellipses.
Sincerly,
MoN's OCD

Dear beckstraordinary,
fantastic, simply fantastic.
Respectfully,
MoN's literary sense

Dear ZeMonkey Nation,
I've started to count your thoughts, opinions and sillyness as important to the ongoing goofyness that is my daily existance.
Hugz,
MoN

[masterofNone]

ow!

oh yeah...

Dear Washington Redskins,
I'll be watching the Packers for the next several years. Call me when you don't suck anymore. It's been 10 years, I'm tired, and damn that Brett Favre can throw a football.
Regretfully,
MoN

[bealeblues]

Dear Sugar Bowl,

We're coming, and there's nothing you can do to stop us. Oh by the way, thanks for having a lower payout than the Orange Bowl, so now we get stuck with FSU rather than USC. Oh well, we probably won't be sober enough to notice, and they do have similar colors.... See you soon.

[Deviate]

Dear Monday Morning,
Let's not beat around the bush. I hate you. You bring work and desks and snotty co-workers and nosey bosses and, despite my many requests for you to stop it, you have not. Go away. Go away now.

-st.

Dear New Admin Chick Whose Name I Think is Mary,
I was nice enough to loan you my space heater Friday. Now I'm cold and have nothing I can do. You are a very nice lady; I will not say mean things about you, yet.

-st.

Dear Left-Over Chinese Breakfast,
I hope the hair you sported this fine morning was mine. Let's both pretend.

-st.

[amanda]

Dear landlord, aka Swedish Bikini Yoga Master,

Hearing you say "Hunh, yeah...no, can't do anything about that." is not going to make my place any warmer. Get me a heater in the apartment that is younger than me. Now.

And by the way, you laughing at me for waking up and seeing my breath, only makes me want to pull up your shirt and put my cold hands on your warm belly.

scroogely yours,

your frozen tenant

[dinzdale]

Dear Amanda,
I am younger than you..
oh sorry you wanted a new one

Your Heater (broken)

[amanda]

Dear dinz,

No you're not. But nice try. ;)

warming up already,
~a

[dickieC]

Dear Mum

Please stop pestering me to find a woman to get married.

dC

Dear Life

Please send me one (1) nice young lady to snog once in a while

dC

[amanda]

Dear Doc,

Just one?

~a

[dickieC]

Yes, one would be an ample sufficiency, thankyou kindly.

[masterofNone]

Dear Doc,
Sorry about the unclear antecedents thing again... but do you want your mom to get married or to stop pestering you to get married?
Easliy confused,
MoN

[masterofNone]

To all single folk,
Do you know why divorce costs so much?
Because it's worth it.
Happily,
MoN

[Zyle]

Dear MoN,

elipses, right, I *did* know that but at the time i was too tired to try to remember... or care ;) Thanks for saving me the effort of finding out again *G*

Zyle

[amanda]

Dear unclear antecedents,
I want my mom to get married. Maybe then she'll stop trying to find me pawn me off on boyfriends she finds on an internet dating service.

respectively yours,
~a

[Zyle]

Dear Ze,
when will I ever be able to change the text under my name?? I keep holding out faith that it'll change when I reach 40 posts... or 50 posts... but it hasn't worked yet *sniff*
*goes off to post more*
Love Zyle

[masterofNone]

Dear Amanda's Mom,
ick!
Respectfully,
MoN

[amanda]

Dear zyle,

One day, when you've accepted your truth- becoming a rat on crack, ze-monkey swimming in a fishbowl, heroin-like addicted to the trials and tribulations of Deviate's crack-whore assistant, you too can change your custom text.

Come my child...
~obi-wan

[amanda]

Originally posted by masterofNone
Dear Amanda's Mom,
ick!
Respectfully,
MoN

Dear MoN,

I'm with you.

~a

[Deviate]

Dear Beckstra,
Sorry you're stuck in retail over the holidays. That must certainly blow. In what notorious cookie-cutter mall store do you work?

-st.

[bealeblues]

dear zyle,

i keep trying to find you, but i've lost my way. i seem to keep hearing some short clairvoyant woman telling me to "run into the light", but i'm afraid. help me.

sincerely,

your custom text header

[beckstra]

DV8,
Lane Bryant. I love it. Although the paysucksdotcom.
Beck.

Dear USBank,
Get laid you crappers. Take your unwarrented, undeserved overdraft fees and place them where the sun don't shine.
A Royal Mood.

Dear God,
Ummm...if that was supposed to motivate me, do you think you could have said it in any other way than you did?
Bacco.

[AllegroNg]

Dearest Ze,
Will you send me a Christmas card

Dearest Santa,
Remember.. Jeff Corwin! (Talk about stocking stuffer:D)

Dearest DV8,
Thank you for the avatar. You are da ish.

Dearest Ze-monkeys,
Black slacks and velvety purple shirt w/sheer sleeves

[Deviate]

Dear Boss-man:
you are a lot of things that i cannot say on this board. grr.

-st.

Dear Desk,
I'm sorry I have not seen you in a long time. Rest assured that I am here on the other side of the mountains. I promise I will dig my way to you.

-st.

Dear X-rated ZeFrankenfurters:
when at work and my brain begins to boil, this (http://www.deviatedspectrum.biz/myboss.html) this is what is stamped on my brain.

-st.

[bealeblues]

dear ng:

your latest outfit sounds absolutely yummy...

perhaps this should've been placed in the S.F.S., but oh well....

ciao

btw, nothing good, khaki's (not corwinesque, i'm afraid) and button down

[Arif-ul Haq]

d

[Deviate]

Dearest zeFrankenfurters,

I apologize for my continuing negative posts. I wish for all of you a thrilling, peaceful evening.

Golden slumbers steal your eyes, smiles awake you when you rise.

-st.

[bealeblues]

Dear DV8,

I think we like your so call 'negative' posts. Don't sweat it.

The Ze-frankenfurters

[AllegroNg]

Dearest Zay,
Could we have a chatroom? That would be cool.

Dearest Zay monkeys,
Some of you have my AIM name (AllegroNg, duh). I think that's cool! We can chat. Froggie Nighty.

[bealeblues]

yeah-- i'm both on yahoo messenger and AIM--- but i'm "lsubealeblues" b/c just bealeblues was already taken... drop a line sometime

[Deviate]

Dear all,
i've got Yahoo at work, AIM at home, deviatedspectrum on both.

-st.

[bealeblues]

dear clients,

sorry to inform you that i will not be tending to your business diligently. see, i have this yahoo messenger and AIM messenger where i can talk to ze-monkeys live, and i have this ze-monkey board where we can all post our thoughts, etc., and well, to tell the truth, it's more fun than listening to you. so far, i know of no antedote, but fear not, my secretary will be doing many of the pleadings for me. by the way, i still expect you to pay my bill monthly, as usual.

thanks,

me

[Deviate]

Dear zeFrankenfurters,

don't get discouraged. eventually all internet users turn over to the dark side at one point in time or another. we will assimilate all of you. resistance is futile.

-yahoo

[surflugen]

In maintaining fairness to all employees we are standardizing our start time for Friday, December 20, 2002._

_

Therefore, the start time for all employees on Friday, December 20, 2002 will be 7:00 A.M.

_

You will be dismissed at 11:30 A.M. to attend our annual mandatory luncheon at the Anaheim Sheraton Hotel._ The luncheon will begin at 12:00 P.M.

_

All employees are required to attend the luncheon as part of their regular work schedule._ Employees who do not attend the luncheon will not be eligible nor receive holiday pay for Monday, 12/23, Tuesday, 12/24 and Wednesday, 12/25/02, and will be subjected to disciplinary action up to and including termination.

_

Should you have any questions please feel free to contact me.

_

Thank you for your usual fine cooperation.

I just love the holidays

[dickieC]

GO NYC! YOU ROCK! DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN!!!

Originally posted by nycwriters
Dear Lord,

Please help me get through this evening at work without wanting to strangle my coworkers. It's going to take all Your help.

Love,

Peg

[zenbabe]

Dear Time,

Please move forward at mach 3 for the next half hour so I can sit in traffic instead of sitting here.

thanks

[Deviate]

Dear thread,

I missed you.
I've been thinking of you.
I'm glad to have you back, if only for my selfish blatherings.

-st.


Dear Old Cell Phone,

It's not you, it's me. We had some wonderful times together, now we must part. Please don't take it too harshly. I will miss you in some ways.

-st.


Dear New Cell Phone,

You are so pretty. You are so young. I'm looking forward to a long and thrilling relationship together!

-st.

[chuckie egg]

Dear Hand,

I miss you and the things you do, I have taken you for granted and I am sorry. I should not have hurt you like I did, I hope you will forgive me one day.

Get well soon

Egg

[bealeblues]

dear coast of north or south carolina:

wish i was there.

[Frieda]

dear zit, please leave soon. thank you.

dear ugly coffee mug, thank you for holding my coffee every day. i've grown very fond of you.

[ambo]

dear next-cubicle dweller,
please stop schnupping your snots up into your head. i'm afraid you are going to explode.

[dinzdale]

Originally posted by Red Princess
*getting an ugly visual of exploding snot heads*

HA ! The woman at the next desk squeezed her stress reducing ball too hard yesterday and great thick SNOT covered her desk and her hand........and it made me laugh.

[Deviate]

Dear Eyes,

You are so much bigger than me. What made you think we could eat that whole piece of greek pizza? Get some perspective.

Sincerely,
Stomach

[bealeblues]

dear vomit-reflex:

please try to disregard deev's post about greek pizza. while we know it is revolting, we don't like it when you decide to flex your powers.

sincerely,

the nose and taste buds

[Deviate]

Dear Stomach:
CC: bealeblues

shut your damn bitching. we like greek pizza, and if you want to throw a f*cking fit about it, go ahead. screw off.

-the taste buds


Dear Wild Oats,

you've poisoned me. i think i'm dying. see if i ever eat there again. bastards.

-st.

[bealeblues]

dear taste buds,

we'll see how much you like it when we shower you with our gastrointestinal juices.

- the contents of your stomach

[ambo]

Dear god:
Why don't I ever think to say gastrointestinal ?
Ambo

[bealeblues]

dear ambo:

when you have had as many "day-afters" as beale, then gastrointestinal is part of your daily vocabulary. it's not a positive thing.

- god

[chuckie egg]

Dear yellow paper,

You are so pretty, I'm sorry I wasted you

[AllegroNg]

Dearest New York,
Please be good to me and my guitar. Thanks!
P.S. Please be good to my underwear, too.
P.P.S. Please be good to my friends who I'll meet there. If that means being less than good to my underwear, I'll understand.

Dearest Seth,
Don't worry, I'll be good!

Dearest dreams,
Please, get it right.

Dearest ZeMonkies that I'll see (!!!!!!!!!),
Please have a safe trip, and I'll see you when we get there!

Dearest Ze,
Come see us!!! I have Mad Libs!!

[beckstra]

Dear boy,
Like me back. That's all I'm asking for now. You can have a week or two to mull it over, but yeah. Like me back.
Thank you for your time,
Girl

Dear Jr High Camp,
In the spirit of making changes with the system this year, I have included a few things I'd like to change myself:

1. No humidity.
2. No need to pile sunblock on myself or my kids
3. The camp smell? Get rid of it.
4. No tornadoes, thunderstorms, or really muddy holes I can ruin a pair of pants in.
5. The thermometer shall not peak over 80* or under 60*.

That is all. If you'd oblige me, I'm certian I won't be the only one terribly greatful.

Rebecca L.
Dorm Leader Extrordinare

[RuneT]

Dear Project

The first time we met you were quite interresting. Why did you grow into a monster and eat me? Was it something i did?

Sincerely,

[agentsmith]

Dear Me-
remeber to have your coffee. do your homework. blah blah...oh what the hell. go watch merlin.
love,
agent smith

[Deviate]

Dear Tomorrow,

HURRY!

-me.

[bealeblues]

dear congregating ze-monkeys:

hope you understand my absence, but i have a higher mountain to climb at present. i'll be there in spirit though, and feel free to barage my phone with your drunken revelry.

-beale

[Deviate]

Dear Boss,

yeah, i know you're sickingly sweet and everything, but stop putting ****ing work on my desk. you know i'm trying to get out of here early today. you know i stayed in the office late last night. you know i took work home with me.

now you put another invoice, file, paperclip on my ****ing desk and i will go ****ing crazy-ass razor cucumber on your ass.

NOW
LET
ME
LEAVE!

-st.

[Buckley]

Dear Mom,
Please stop asking about Russ. No, he hasn't called yet. Yes, I know he's probably too embarrassed to talk to me. No, I am not gay. I will make you lots of grandbabies someday, just not with him.
love,
your heterosexual offspring.

[Hermione]

Dear God,

Please let me do well on my SAT 2's this weekend. If I don't do well.. I won't get into UCI and then I won't become an attorney.. and then I won't be able to fly to the next Ze Monkey reunion.
love surbhi

Dear Inventors of High School,

I hate you.
Love, me

[Frieda]

dear pimples, zits and blackheads.

please, disappear. leave my face. that's no place for you. i have a party to go to.

[xerocs]

the letter that gets me through the day is G

[chuckie egg]

Dear Weekend,

I am really looking forward to seeing you, even though you may bring rain and outdoor pillow-fights. I love you because you bring the pub.

Last weekend was bad to me, please be gentle.

Many thanks

Egg

[Red Princess]

note to self: go to bed earlier and when you do for crissake go to SLEEP.


dear nordstrom, it has been a long tiring and disappointing week. please please please have a good sale so i can buy something that will make me happy.
RP

[priceyfatprude]

Dear Walgreens:

Please open up a 24-hour pharmacy in my county. I should not have to go to the ghetto in Milwaukee to pick up an Rx on a Saturday night.

Love,

Aimee

[agentsmith]

dear wachowski brothers-
you are jackasses.
love,
agent smith

[Red Princess]

dear PTG, stop telling me no or i will have to resort to sterner measures, i will sneak into your house and clean it. then i will do your laundry and read all your email. don't think i won't
lick me, RP

[priceyfatprude]

Stamp for RP:

[Zyle]

fantastic!

[agentsmith]

zyle killed the thread!

[priceyfatprude]

Dear Ben & Jerry,

I love you. I love you more than words can say. I love our little threesomes. It will be hard to give them up. I'm so happy you invented Chubby Hubby that I could cry. *sheds a small tear*

Love,

Aimee

[agentsmith]

dear pooky-
you are a wonderful word.
-agent smith

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by priceyfatprude
Stamp for RP:

thanks i needed that

[chuckie egg]

Dear Scotland,

Please have nice weather this weekend.

Egg

[dickieC]

Dear midges,

Tasty morsel coming your way in the Highlands this weekend, by all accounts.

dC

[Red Princess]

dear life, lighten up, it's time
thanks, RP

[ambo]

dear RP,
if i did, you'd float away
life

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by ambo
dear RP,
if i did, you'd float away
life

dear life,
no i wouldn't. i promise.
RP

[ambo]

well, okay then
life

[Red Princess]

dear life,
thanks
RP

[chuckie egg]

Originally posted by dickieC
Dear midges,

Tasty morsel coming your way in the Highlands this weekend, by all accounts.

dC

Noooo... dont say that! They'll hear you!

I'm camping too... cruel that.

I'm itching already!

[trisherina]

Dear Arthritis,

I really thought you had gotten the hint. Those months of weekly injections? That meant it was over between us.

Now you are nosing around and causing trouble again. I have a long way to go in life, you know, and you are not invited to be a part of it. I don't want to end up bitter, and hunched, and half asleep half the time.

By the way: go screw yourself.

Sincerely,
T. Hanson blah blah blah

[Zyle]

Dear Hatfield College,
I love you immensley and am looking forward to tomorrow.
A Happy Fresher

[dickieC]

Now Zyle, it's all over, you're not a fresher any more, second year beckons, more work to be done, I hope you've got your vacation reading all planned out and you've been to the library to get your books...

[/tutor mode]

[Deviate]

Dear Stomach:

we are tired. we need caffeine. we have not slept a full night for three weeks.

you are hungry. take some damn food. have a meal, an ACTUAL meal with meat and vegetables and starches. stop bitching at every little bite.

let's work together to get through the day. perhaps tonight we will get the sleep we need and you can be caffeine free for a whole day.

we can do this together. but without you, i'm seriously f*cked.

-st.

[Zyle]

Originally posted by dickieC
Now Zyle, it's all over, you're not a fresher any more, second year beckons, more work to be done, I hope you've got your vacation reading all planned out and you've been to the library to get your books...

[/tutor mode]

I haven't even picked out my modules for next year yet o_O
I did get my criminal text books already though

[Hermione]

Dear SATs,

I hate you. May your burn.. burn.. burn!!!!

Love always,
Surbhi


Dear brother,

I am so proud of you! I can't believe you graduated at the top of your class!

love always,
your little sis

[red]

The letter K has always gotten me through the day.

[Hermione]

hahaha x 2:)

[lapietra]

Dear Universe,

Please, please, please keep behaving the way you have toward me for the last couple of weeks for at least a month or so... no big emotional challenges... no financial disasters... even a few very nice supportive and inspiring events...
In return, I promise to keep my apartment tidy, to work out at least 3 times a week and otherwise do nice things for myself... I'll even try to work consistently every day to learn new skills so when I peek out into the job world again I won't feel depressed and hopeless.

I just need to get on my feet again, both mentally & financially, and that would be so helpful.
By the way - thanks for the last two weeks. They *totally* rocked. :)

Love,
Lala

[Deviate]

Dear Stomach:

thank you for allowing passage and temporary storage of the mediterranean pasta salad at lunch. in return i will not use caffeine for the next two days. i'll even muster to order (gasp) decaf on my coffee date tomorrow, just for you.

let's try to get along. we like food. i know you like food. we can do without caffeine. let's never fight again.

-st.

[ambo]

Dear Employer:
You laid off 25 more people today. Yet you are paying your top executives buckets of money. You are a money hungry machine run by a bunch of heartless assholes. I hate you. Eat me.
Very sincerely,
Ambo

[priceyfatprude]

Dear Self,

Stop spying. You are only making yourself crazy. It is not helping anything.

Love,

Me

[Deviate]

Dear Libido:

chill. you will have your fun shortly, i promise. but, for the workaday week: chill.

-tiny shred of dignity

[Red Princess]

dear dev,
please cc that last memo to mine.
thanks,
RP

[lapietra]

Dear Universe

Almost forgot to say - I'll also keep trying to be nice to *other* people too.

That's all.

Lala

[Deviate]

dear friends,

i know you're here with every tear that falls from hearing a beautiful song or from straining to remember an unlikely sunrise.

in return, i will be with you in every struggle, every hardship, every corner of darkness. i give you all my strength.

-the one who wouldn't shut up.

p.s. sorry i'm a sappy fool.

[fodder]

bla bla

[Hermione]

Dear new black hair dye,

I really really like you.. but could you stop coming out?

thanks
love surbhi

[dickieC]

fodder winked at me

hehehehehehehe

[Frieda]

dear lead singer of saturday's band,

you are so incredibly hot. thanks for allowing me to film you!

love,
me



(it's the one on the right)
http://www.bittersweet-music.com/Robert/images/Bittersweet6.JPG

edited to add:
on the band's website (http://www.bittersweet-music.com/) there's more pics of the party on saturday night.. click on "quivive" under "Foto's". don't forget to check the streaking pics! oh, and this is, from left to right, Sanne, me and Wokkel:
http://www.bittersweet-music.com/quivive/images/DSC01171.JPG

[dickieC]

LMAO!

Long live the British streaking tradition! It's what makes this nation great.

[Frieda]

it was really silly, dickie.. they walked around the 1st hockey pitch, then climbed (and fell) over the fence, and then ran around naked on the pitch! i have it on film too. can i make money with this?

[chuckie egg]

most definitely! lol

[Deviate]

dear body,

c'mon, only a few hours to go. once you get past noon you should be good to go.

i know, you want sleep, but brain is keeping you up. you want caffeine, but stomach is throwing a tantrum.

BUT - you do get weight lifting tonight...

(and maybe we can sneak a cup of coffee or two past stomach this evening...)

-st.

[priceyfatprude]

Dear Eyes,

Please stay open. Don't make me get the toothpicks out.

Love,

me

[Red Princess]

dear body parts,
simmer down, it is getting annoying, we'll take care of all that later. wrists; just knock it off already, this file is not done yet. neck; deal with it. i will get in the hot tub later. honest.
RP

[ambo]

dear dinz,
get an avatar
you're killing me
ambo

[dinzdale]

Dear Ambo,

You'll live

Knobby

[lapietra]

Dear Day -

Why are you already 4:15pm? I hardly got anything done today and you keep charging ahead...
At least I did my laundry.

disgruntedly,
Lala

[Red Princess]

dear illustrator.
you are my favorite program. why are you being so stupid today?
RP

[Hermione]

dear popsicles,

Thank you for making my day better. Whenever I am hot or hungry.. you are always there for me.

love always
surbhi

[Deviate]

dear dirty mind,

chill. enough's enough.

stop being perverted.

-st.

[lapietra]

Dear incredibly hot guy who just joined my acting class -

Did I just imagine, when I was showing you around the library, that *look* you gave me right before everybody came in at the end of the night tonight? If I didn't, would you please do something a little more obvious next time I see you so I know I'm not imagining it? or making it mean something it wasn't?
Ouf. :p

xox
Lala

[Frieda]

Originally posted by moel
Dear Frieda,
Do I have to keep that promise I made?

-moel

dear moel,

which one?

frieda

[chuckie egg]

Dear Moel,

This answer is unacceptable

Chuckie

[Frieda]

dear chuckie,

i already know what promise. he can break it, under a specific condition.

love,

frieda

[chuckie egg]

pants

[Deviate]

dear Chuckie,

stop teasing me with words of pants. pants yourself.

-st.

[Red Princess]

dear corel draw,
i hate you. you suck.
RP

[chuckie egg]

Dear Deviate,

I was not teasing you, I dont tease anyone. (see my halo)

Chuckie

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by chuckie egg
Dear Deviate,

I was not teasing you, I dont tease anyone. (see my halo)

Chuckie

must mean she is being serious.....

[chuckie egg]

..what else?!

[Red Princess]

is this a quiz? nobody told me there was going to be a quiz. i didn't study for a quiz, oh crap, now i will fail the class

booooohoooo! sniff sniff

[red]

Dear contract job,
You have been good to me, but you are just too far away from my home. I will be leaving you soon.
Best,
red

[Zyle]

Dear Coca Cola,
Why are you so fattening?
yours sadly,
Z

[ambo]

Hey and forces,

When you get done with Peg's witch, come get this guy that keeps schnnnrrrping his snots up into his head.

Thanks,
Ambo

[Frieda]

dear moel,

i SWEAR to anything that is holy to me (tom jones, ze, my strawberry, my computer and the dragons in my dreams) that i did not tell anyone or showed the picture to anyone. you have to believe me!

i like your new avatar. and i liked the alternative of your promise better by the way.

bananas,
frieda

[chuckie egg]

Dear boy doing work experience in my office,

You are THE single most annoying person I have ever met, I cant wait for Friday.

Why do you NEVER shut up?! SOME of us have WORK to do!!

Why did you put those crappy bits of paper in the printer?! I feel for your poor teachers.

raaaaaaaa

[Red Princess]

dear forces of nature,
hey i know you are busy with other requests so i will be brief, if PTG tells me no one more time i want you to make his computer crash really bad so he has to call me, i will take care of the rest.
thanks
RP

[priceyfatprude]

Dear Milwaukee Art Museum,

I love you.

Love,

Aimee

[red]

Dear job offer,
Why are you low? Can't you see what a catch I am. I am such a vaulable find you can afford $500 more a month for me.
Best,
red

[agentsmith]

dear old man muffin-
do moel in.
yours eternally,
rachael

[Deviate]

dear meal,

please taste good. please nourish my body and be more filling than you appear. please do not jump out of your box and onto the floor, there is so little of you.

thanks.
-st.

[red]

Dear Devi,
What the hell are you eating and why is it jumping out of the box!
:eek:
Wondering,
red

[Deviate]

Dear Red,

Budget Gormet Ziti Parmesano, which has a tendancy to, when stirred, slingshot noodles stray from the box. it sucks. you only get like 10 noodles anyway, losing one is a large percentage of your meal.

still hungry,
-st.

[agentsmith]

dear movie library-
please let me notice a movie that will lift my spirits. i need a movie. i just do. i watched all the good ones already...no wait! i havent finished arthur yet! YES!

thank you so much,
agent.

[lapietra]

Dear AT & T,

Please don't shut my cell phone off when I'm unable to pay the gut-wrenching sum that's on the bill I got yesterday in full right away... I was just helping out the theater during their festival, trying to get people to come and help out, and didn't keep track of the calls... gah....
Please be nice and let me pay it off bit by bit... I'm usually very frugal with my phone...
:(

Lala

[lapietra]

Dear computer monitor screen-

Please stop doing that little shimmying thing you've started to do the last week or so... I absolutely cannot afford to replace you right now and I need you to be okay for at least a few more months...
I know you're getting up there in age but I've taken good care of you, never dropped or hit you, hardly ever push your buttons... I even clean your screen sometimes. There. I just did it again. See how nice I am to you?

xoxox
Lala

[agentsmith]

dear lala's computer screen-
dont be a bastard.
yours eternally-
agent

[Deviate]

Dear Fed Ex Delivery Chick,

I look forward to pick up time. Maybe after work you and me could get a drink, see a show, nosh on some surf and turf???

-st.


Dear Fed Ex:

If you even THINK about changing the routes again I will physically take down your entire company. I mean it. Keep her on this route. She's mine.

-st.

[dickieC]

Woo yeah. Go Dev. Tell her all about Impure Thoughts.

[RuneT]

Dear new washing machine
How can you do it at 1500 rpm? I struggle at 150.
Please share.

admiration,

Rune

[Red Princess]

dear lady who doesn't speak english,
please don't bring your file here, i don't want it. go to kinko's
thanks,
RP

[sixfinger]

Dear stretch marks,

Go away. Fade, abandon me.

Some mums never get 'em. Why'd you pick me?

You are not a roadmap of my motherhood, nor a set of clues to my subsistence.

You are nasty. Go!

Rudely,

Sara

[Frieda]

Originally posted by sixfinger
Dear stretch marks,

Go away. Fade, abandon me.

Some mums never get 'em. Why'd you pick me?

You are not a roadmap of my motherhood, nor a set of clues to my subsistence.

You are nasty. Go!

Rudely,

Sara
olive oil soap!

[Deviate]

Dear memory,

please, don't lose track of last night. it was amazing.

-st.

[dickieC]

hehe... Dev's ON FIRE lately

[Red Princess]

*puts away the gasoline can*

[Deviate]

Originally posted by dickieC
hehe... Dev's ON FIRE lately
how nice of you to notice!

just seems to have been a really good couplea weeks for me. now if i can only survive the good times so i can reminisce...

[trisherina]

Dear professional association:

Thank you, thank you! I can't say I quite take back all the things I have said about you, but I do agree to keep quiet for the next little while.

Sincerely,
Trish Hanson etc.etc.

[Deviate]

Dear Body:

i know i keep promising you sleep and that i have yet to deliver. let's try to make it through today and i will even skip the gym to give you what you want.

-st.

[sixfinger]

Dear baby girl Ayla,

Thank you for growing in my tummy and being this delicious little angel.

I have never met a girl so precious, strong and gorgous.

You make me cry. I love you so much.

Mum

[Frieda]

dear sixfinger,

that is probably the sweetest letter i've ever read. thanks for sharing! :)

love,
frieda

[Deviate]

Dear SixFinger,

what a touching letter. Ayla is lucking to have such a mom.

-st.

[Hermione]

Dear Rash on my arms,

Please go away. You really itch. I can't wear anything cute because of you. please please please go away.

love always surbhi


Dear J.K. Rowling,

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!! I am getting all the Harry Potter books when I go to England in August. I don't want the "American kind" hehe..
love always
surbhi

[agentsmith]

dear arnold i cant spell our fvcking last name-
do you lift weights with your butt cheeks?
as always-
agent

[sixfinger]

dear frieda and deviate....

you are both special and sweet like pie.

sara

[Red Princess]

sounds like things are better this week 6, glad to hear it

[red]

Dear hangover,
Please go away. I had a great time last night and you are ruining my morning. Maybe BC powder can kick your ass.
You suck.
red

[lapietra]

Dear sheet of bubble wrap,

Why do you tempt me so? I know that I should save you, in case I want to send another cd to another friend - or deliver another jar of preserves.... you're just the right size - but I've already popped all the bubbles on your edges... the next row is perkily beckoning to me...
ahhhh... two-thumbed popping... such sweet stress relief... the edges are demolished, spent, ravaged... my sense of accomplishment grows...
ARGH!!! The agony of disappointment... a patch of raised plastic that only squishes flat!!!
Quickly, obsessively, I work my way to your middle, on a feverish mission, the ever accelerating rain of crisp "pop"'s issuing from your rapidly deflating grid... and then, nothing. I search frantically for one or two more, possibly missed in my frenzy.... but my search is fruitless. Your usefulness is completely spent. Slowly, my breathing returns to normal. It is done.
Rest in peace, dear sheet of bubble wrap. I commit your remains to the recycle bin.
Oh well. Luckily Box 'n' Ship is just around the corner...

Regretfully,
Lala

[AllegroNg]

Dearest Harry Potter,
Please do not put your wand in your back pocket. You could blast your buttocks off.

Dearest Ze,
You are so funny. What on earth is wrong with you?

Dearest NY Monkies,
I miss you terribly!

Dearest Valie my little sister,
Happy 22nd Birthday! I love you and you have cool hair!

[Deviate]

Dear Nose,

What's up with the runniness? Can't you see I'm trying to type?

-st.

[bealeblues]

dear gods that like to torture me,

don't do this to me again. please. you did this to me a few years ago when baltimore went wire to wire only to forget how to score runs and lose in the playoffs. yeah, and that jeffrey mayer kid at yankee stadium can suck it. real damn funny.

and now the dodgers are playing great. but i know what you'll do-- you'll let them be around right at the end, be up 2 games with 3 to play against the san francisco bastards, then have them lose all 3 to miss the playoffs because the damn astros or cardinals or someone wins the wild card... oh i see you working-- i see it all coming together... but i'll play along, i'll let you string me out like your little bitch-- i'll get my hopes up just for your petty amusement like i always do... so when you decide to pull the string, don't think that i didn't know the whole time what was coming...

but not this year. please. not this year.

- me

[Hermione]

Dear Henrik Ibsen,

I love your work. Doll's House is one of my favorite reads.
love always surbhi

[bealeblues]

Dear fate:

We never had a meeting of the minds, and you know that. the dodgers were already playing and gagne was right about to come into the game. you know he's nails with a lead.

now today's game might be a different story.

we'll see.

-me

[bealeblues]

dear fate:

you can bite me.

-me

:D

[bealeblues]

dear peg:

you're welcome. you play fate's cheerleader (although i missed the pigtails... gah!) well. keep it up.

love,

the loser who works on sunday and doesn't have to.....

edited to remove a dangling "R".....

[Deviate]

Dear Caffeine:

ohmycrap, ohmycrap, ohmycrap. what the holy hell have you done to me? we used to be such good friends! spending long nights waxing poetic philosophy, sharing milky spiral galaxies, keeping each other warm on cold evenings.

i've only been away from you a short while and things have changed. they've really changed.

is it you or is it me? who knows? but i have to say this: we're through. i can't let you mess with my head any longer.

we can be casual acquaintances, i will be cordial and greet you at a chance encounter - a brief meeting in an occasional soda, perhaps. but no more late nights in java. i'm sorry. i just can't take it anymore.

so, please, let's try to get along - no doubt we'll see each other now and again. and when we do, remember this: even though things are not what they once were, i still love you and wish we could be close again.

until next time,
leigh

[red]

Dear Caffeine,
Don't worry your hyper little head. Leigh will bw back sooner than you think. She really loves you and will take you back little by little.
Best,
red

[Deviate]

Dear Red,

please stop sending Caffeine false hopes. if i want to keep my sanity i must stay away from it. as sad as that is, it's my health above my happiness....

-st.

[red]

ha hahahhahahahahahahahaha

[Deviate]

Dear Moel,

start threads. it's a good thing.

-Martha "Jailbird" Stewart

[sixfinger]

dear landfill (mum nature sullied),

i am soooooooo sorry my children shit so much.
there is NO WAY i ever made this much mess when i was wee.
i am not allowed to stop feeding them. some kind of "U.N." resolution.. rights of the child. ugh.. gross..

gawd! they just gulp it in and BAM...
noone tells you this when you are madly in love, pregnant or just given birth.

the crap just never stops.

i'm really not kidding.

i used to be a hard-rocking skater woman, with long lines of men, wrapped around my fingers.. i dated rock stars, poets, skaters, riders, models, actors..
i travelled, partied everywhere. tried most everything.

now i am 30, single, actually enjoy Blue's Clues, Bob the Builder, pretend crocodiles, pancakes for dinner, wiping drippy noses, debating bedtime and quietly typing this sentence lest i wake up my younger baby bird.

i do not enjoy the diapers. please don't sully my karma as i have dropped 11 tonnes of diapers on your land. i debated a diaper service, cleaning them myself. too much bleach.. too much work.

am i going to be squished by the karmic fly swatter? i really do feel guilty.

i'm sorry.

me

[bealeblues]

dear fate:

suck it. dodgers lost. there's your answer.

dear baseball gods:

if you're going to do it, do it now while i can still reclaim part of my summer. if you wait til october, i swear i won't watch baseball again.

oh who am i kidding? you have me in your spell; i am your bitch.

-hopelessly ensconsed in dodger blue

[Deviate]

Dear Moel,

here is my recipie for that mixture you always seemed to love so much:

Dry Potpourri:

Select a theme for the scent such as woodland of country garden, and assemble paper-dry flowers and leaves. Gently combine the flowers and leaves, then mix the fixative with the spices and blend in with your hands. Sprinkle on essential oils if desired a drop at a time, stirring between each drop. Seal and store in a warm, dry, dark place for six weeks to “cure”. Display however you like. Enjoy!!!!

Soothing Potpourri: Useful for creating a calming atmosphere.
2 cups lemon verbena 1 cup meadowsweet florets
2 cups rose petals 1 cup chamomile flowers
1 cup lavender flowers 1 cup calendula petals
1 oz angelica root 4 tbsp orris root

-Martha

p.s. last night was hot. call me, lover.

[bealeblues]

dear bible belters:

conjure up all the spirituality you have and forward a request to the man in charge to have everything turn out ok for peg's dad....

dear consulate:

go ahead and let the canadian go back to canada-- make an exception. oh yeah, i guess you can let her back in the US too-- ordinarily i'd object, but let's overlook that this time....

-concerned in the bayou

[Deviate]

dear muscles.

work. move. please.

i just want to walk.

-st.

[red]

Dearest Leigh,
I missed you this morning.
Love,
Caffeine

P.S. Herbal tea is for sissies

[Deviate]

Dear Caffeine,

perhaps you don't realize, but i CANNOT have you. period.

tempting me is like walking an alcoholic into a bar and pouring him a shot of whiskey.

please, get over it.

-me.

[lapietra]

Dear rude people of the world,

Please - just for a month or two - give me a break. I, like you, am dealing with more than my allotted share of stress, yet I don't find it comforting or soothing to cut you off in my car, spout off obscenities, harsh words, and vulgar ideas, or otherwise treat you like dirt, or alternately, have it done to me. I request that you observe this and turn this treatment toward others who may find this more enjoyable (some people actually seem to). I am very psychically tired; my sense of humor has become depleted, and all I want right now is an unbroken stream of bubble baths, friendly interactions, good jazz and nice cool soothing beverages.

The universe has ignored my earnest request for no financial disasters - the least you can do is humor me for a little while.

Wearily,
Lala

[agentsmith]

sleeping with ghosts again, eh moel?

[Red Princess]

dear zemokeys,
your appetite for tales of my weekend adventures inspires me. i am thinking of starting a website with similar tales available for a small charge on your credit card. would it be unethical to make some up in case i run out of stories? i will remember you all when i am (literally) filthy rich.
thanks, RP
ps, there will be a special page for dinz

[Deviate]

Dear Moel,

sorry, i'm fresh out. you gummed up the last one pretty bad.

-Matha

p.s. i still have a copy of Hot Doily Sex, the Martha Way if you'd like

[red]

Dear body,
Thank you for not throwing up at yoga. I promise not to go so hard at it next time.
Best,
red

[fodder]

dear walmart,

thx for being open so me and my love can buy tons of reeces pieces and popcorn and homestyle bakes and cd cases and koolaid man i love you i surely do oh yes and p.s. thanks for the dvds thanks seeya later o.k.

peace brah, lkn

[ambo]

dear mr. computer building man,
please build us a better computer, one that will not get ill and mess with our minds
much obliged,
ambo

[Hermione]

dear contacts,
please stop hurting.
love always surbhi



dear trip to kauai and oahu,
I am so excited! I hope you are going to be as much fun as Maui!!
love always surbs

[Frieda]

dear day at work,

please be over soon.

thanks in advance,
frieda

[bealeblues]

dear baseball gods:

you can suck it again, second day in a row. do you think it's funny that the sf bastards, of all teams, beat the dodgers last night in another close game? i bet you really got a freaking kick that barry mf'ing bonds scored the winning run, didn't you?

i am not amused. i mean, you already had LSU go out of the CWS 0-2, wasn't that enough? are you insatiable?

you've had your fun, but it's my time to live dammit. just let me live.

-me

[Deviate]

dear muscles,
c.c. central nervous system

thank you for improving. i promise i will still go to the doctor as promised and start a treatment thing.

four years is just too long.

-st.

[red]

Dear Baseball Gods,
Please ignore the previous prayer to you. He's out of his mind from the heat.
Thank you for allowing Rice to win. You rock!
Best,
red

[trisherina]

Dear Rheumatologist,

Why would you direct me to inject Methotrexate once a week and come back to see you in November, yet only provide enough prescription to last until the end of August? Are you lacking in time management skills, or is it simple arithmetic that has you stumped? Do you really think I like this stuff enough to want to come and ask you for it on my own valuable time?

I am seriously thinking of obtaining the proverbial second opinion, you procreation-destroying poison peddler.

Irritably,
Trish

[trisherina]

Dear abdomen:

Please provide me with subcutaneous fat in greater quantities. And stop being impermeable. It makes me curse in the most unbecoming fashion.

Sincerely,
your host,
Trish

[trisherina]

Lastly:

Dear Tuesdays:

Stop coming around so soon.

Fearfully,
Trish

[bealeblues]

dear red:

i was also glad that rice beat the stanford bastards, as stanford is ever so close to SF, whose teams, as we all know, are completely horrible rotten rat bastards- it's guilt by geography...

but don't take up for the baseball gods, or i'll drag you to the piss and vinegar thread....

:D

B

[priceyfatprude]

Dear Trish,

I would like to offer you some subcutaneous tissue.

Love,

PFP

[trisherina]

Dear zemonkeys,

You rock. But I can't. On you, that subcutaneous tissue looks GREAT.

Yrs,
Trish

[bealeblues]

dear baseball gods:

you're fvcking hilarious. i just LOVE the little one run games-- what's that, 5 in a row now? and the pivotal call was a FVCKING BALK???? are you kidding me? a balk. verrrryyyy nice.

that cricket thing they play over across the pond is looking more and more attractive to me, but i'm sure you're in tight with the cricket gods too....

bastards.

[dinzdale]

Dear Beale
Get over it

love
BB Gods

[red]

Hello Beautiful Summer Day!
I am so happy to see you! You aer starting off with such promise, I am so glad to be awake and up where the buzzard fly this early in the morning.
Stay cool…I'm serious, none of this 111° heat index crap.
Happily,
red

[Frieda]

dear mom and dad,

please don't be angry that some of the plants and flowers in our garden died when you get back from your vacation.

i promise that i will replace them with new ones, and buy some extra flowers for inside the house.

i'm sorry,
frieda

[dinzdale]

Dear Mr Bonds

have another great day....on us.....no, please do.....you dont have to thank us, just have fun....

Love
BB Gods

[Frieda]

dear mom and dad,

i've bought two cute flower pots and put plants in them. also, you will find some flowers in the vase you like best. i hope you like them.

please don't kill me.

frieda

[priceyfatprude]

Dear Frieda's mom & dad,

Please do not kill her.

Love,

PFP

[dinzdale]

Dear Mr & Mrs van Friedasmomendad

She killed us

Signed
The Tulips (deceased)

[red]

Dear Beautiful Summer Day,
What the hell? You are heating up way too much AND you are dragging your sorry afternoon ass! Move it!
Irritated,
red

[bealeblues]

dear red:

first i let the spurs win. then i let rice win. now i'm giving you beautiful weather, and you're still bitching. remember, you CHOSE to live in texas. sheeesh.

-god

:D

[zenbabe]

Dear Sunshine,

Thank you thank you thank you for finally showing up!

-me

[red]

Dear god,
blah, blah, blah.
Wearily,
red

[bealeblues]

dear red:

thanks for making me laugh. no way i let the rangers or astros win though. lost a bet with the baseball gods and they're going to torture that beale idiot with the sf giants. sorry 'bout that.

-god

[agentsmith]

dear wicked tinkers-
you make me happy
-rachael

[agentsmith]

i love the didgeredoo player

[agentsmith]

hes so hot! gar i love men with long hair and kilts.

[agentsmith]

no! theres all the british goods! and the rings they sell!

[agentsmith]

i bought a ring and my dads gonna order a kilt in our official clan tartan. and i stocked up on all my british candy and tea cakes and tarts