i'm new

[malarkey]

how do you use this thing?

is this a singles only board?

gay only?

I just came out... even my mom doesn't know.

[Avalon]

Welcome Malarkey ( oops, I mis spelled it the first time )

I am going to leave this to Daver, our resident Misinformation Minister:p
Take it Daver!!! Tell Malarkey what they've won!

[malarkey]

i win something?!

because i'm new?

[Avalon]

Pfft..poor baby. Just wait and see.....:p

[Clytie]

gotta love the N00bs.

[sparticle]

Preposterous. Malarkey is in no way new to this board. In fact, malarkey was a founding principle and continues to be a staple component! Yer talkin' mad stuff, here.

Oh! You mean, "malarkey" the entity.


You are very welcome, malarkey. Have fun -- we don't bite. Except on request. ;)

[daverbee]

Actually, we're the model Outback Steakhouse used when they made their advertisement announcing "No Rules, Just Right."

Gay, yes.
Straight, yes.
Indifferent, ehhh!

Singles, yes.
Married, yes.
Divorced, yes, some several times.

Kids, yes.
No kids, yes.
Some of us consider our pets to be our kids.

Scat jokes are more than welcome, see the How Was Your Bowel Movement thread.

About the only rule that really counts is the one ze posted in the guidelines at the top of the Message Board.

Do you have iron skin? That'll help.

Like nachos? That's a real plus. Spicy Jack will want to marry you if you can make a great plate of nachos. So will several other of us...

Drink? Sure, don't mind if I do...oh, wait, I'm at work, sorry, but thanks anyway.

Most important rule is you gotta post your picture in the
Post Your PIcture (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3987) thread. We gotta make sure you're repulsive enough to allow in the group.

Other than that, have a blast and welcome to our little corner of this insane world!

[Avalon]

thank you Daver!!
Well done as usual :D

[Clytie]

couldnt have said it better!

o can i add one? feel free to PM ppl with questions (makes it easier than creating a thread about it)

*cartwheels*

[malarkey]

i'm not sure i want to put my picture up quite yet, i just came out yesterday. to my best friend Blake. and he got all weird, so i went online and found a link to this site from a gay only blog, and i figured you guys would be cool since its run by a gay guy. he's so funny! and hot!

who is spicy jack? jack is my favorite name! is he cool? is his picture in that list? i'm having a hard time working this message blog.

[Aphrodite]

He's a she. And she is hot! Ask The guys and some of the girls.

Oh you can post yur pic when you are ready...Ready yet?

[daverbee]

Actually, Spicy Jack is a she but, as I said, if you can make a great plate of nachos, she won't care if you're gay.
You weren't Governor of New Jersey for a while, were you?

[masterofNone]

is this a new shadowpuppet? 'ze isn't gay. though there isn't anyone who will certify that beyond all doubt, we some sufficient rumor and inuendo to be reasonably assured. i mean, sure he dances well, but, hey, we like to think we're all guilty of that.

[malarkey]

HEY!!! the governor of New Jersey is gay too! did you hear about that too? that's so cool. its cool to know that people that are gay can get to such high places without being dicriminated against. i want to be an astronaut!!!

[daverbee]

A gay astronaut. That would work. It'd sure improve the looks of the interiors of space capsules!

[dinzdale]

A trip round Uranus ...... :rolleyes:

[sparticle]

Oh, ye gods. Trust YOU....

[Spicy Jack]

i wanted to be an astronaut. but now I just want to travel the world in search of the perfect nacho. yum. the thing with me and the naked nacho guy didn't work out. the hunt is still on.

[Avalon]

Does Ze know he's gay?? I am not gonna be the one to break the news to him.:p Spicy, Daver..make some nachos and we'll have a discussion on this. ;)

[Spicy Jack]

Great idea!

[Clytie]

sooo craving nachos!!!

with that horrid bad for you yellow sauce they call cheese!

[malarkey]

He's so hot!!!

[Avalon]

Originally posted by malarkey
He's so hot!!!

Okay..now you've lost me. Did someone just pass?

[malarkey]

I was just on the site and did you guys see that thing with the wonder woman and then it says BOY. Did he tell you guys he's not gay? Because that seems like quite a gay thing. Does he ever write in this list? Where it says to say hi, can you ask him questions there too?

[Audreyvgs]

Originally posted by malarkey
HEY!!! the governor of New Jersey is gay too! did you hear about that too? that's so cool. its cool to know that people that are gay can get to such high places without being dicriminated against. i want to be an astronaut!!!

What are you, 12?

[malarkey]

No I am eighteen. I was born on Christmas!!! How old are you?

[Audreyvgs]

Olderndirt.

[malarkey]

ha ha ha!!!

[sparticle]

Originally posted by Avalon
Okay..now you've lost me. Did someone just pass?

Dinz passed gas....

[malarkey]

gross!!!

[Avalon]

I knew I felt a ripple in the force!:p
*and a little odor now that you mention it*

[masterofNone]

shadowpuppet.

[Avalon]

Originally posted by malarkey
gross!!!

shadowpuppet or newbie, which ever ya be..if you think that was gross, you are on the wrong site son. BTW..I was with you for the whole "Hey,Yay, the Gov and I are Gay" thing..but the innocent ingenue thing is wearing thin.

[funkytuba]

Originally posted by malarkey

I just came out... even my mom doesn't know.
you better wipe it up, or she'll find out in a poor manner

[Spicy Jack]

eh. shadowpuppet or not, it's not started anymore lameass picture threads. yet.

[Avalon]

Originally posted by Spicy Jack
eh. shadowpuppet or not, it's not started anymore lameass picture threads. yet.

AMEN!

[zero]

http://www.cnn.com/interactive/style/0006/kirketon.hotel/05.stairwell.jpg

[Spicy Jack]

oh wow...so profound.

[Avalon]

Isn't though? Must be wonderful to be a legend in your own mind.

[sparticle]

Originally posted by Spicy Jack
oh wow...so profound.

Indeed. Just when you thought that Mag Wildwood was the biggest bore on the planet, along comes Nothing to prove you wrong.

[trisherina]

zero, and sucking bandwidth, are all part of the process!
http://www.mike-werner.org/Interests/Cigars/Misc%20Male/Sigmund_Freud.JPG

[trisherina]

Or was that processed food cheese? I always get them mixed up.
http://www.american-trading.com/food/images/dairy/galaxy.jpg

[priceyfatprude]

You are not new.

But welcome.

[zenbabe]

I give good keyboard!

[sparticle]

Originally posted by trisherina
Or was that processed food cheese? I always get them mixed up.
http://www.american-trading.com/food/images/dairy/galaxy.jpg

Ask Spicy -- she's the go-to-guy and definitive authority! :)

[Deviate]

Originally posted by zenbabe
I give good keyboard! hummina hummina hummina.

[melissa]

:eek:

[zenbabe]

*shimmies*

[melissa]

**wiggles hips**

[Audreyvgs]

http://www.audreyheffner.net/madav.gif



oh crap, if he's 18, i could be arrested in tennesee, i had to research that once before........hmmmmm

[zenbabe]

hahahahahahaha!!


Damn you Aud!!

The file that you have tried to attach is too big. The maximum size is 20000 bytes.

[Audreyvgs]

Well, geez, Zen, why do you want an avatar that looks just like Madasacutsnake? People will get you confused! If you want your own vagina, you'll have to send me a pic of your OWN ROSE!

Horticultural flowers only, pleas, and dont nobody get no ideass.

[madasacutsnake]

Keyboard/vagina. Now that I would like to see, Aud.

[malarkey]

what is a shadow puppet? I keep asking but no one is telling me. Also, how do you get the black writing to come up in the little box? Does shadow puppet mean you don't like me?

[Spicy Jack]

we will tell you when you reach 5,000 posts and are a platinum member with your own threads ;)

[lapietra]

mlarky


mmmmmmmmmmmmmlarky


larkym


arkym

argent


agent?

[malarkey]

okay.

[malarkey]

i meant okay to the one about the when I get to be the platnum member. how do i get the black writing to come up?

[lapietra]

marky mark

[malarkey]

how you know my name?

[lapietra]

cos you be radiatin

[malarkey]

thank you. but i don't like the name mark, that's just what my parents call me. my favourite name is jack

[Spicy Jack]

of course it is dahling ;)

[lapietra]

do you like cheese?



are you a cheese tickler?

[malarkey]

yes i like cheese. but sometimes i get a bit bunged up if i eat too much.

[Magpie]

Originally posted by malarkey
what is a shadow puppet? I keep asking but no one is telling me. Also, how do you get the black writing to come up in the little box? Does shadow puppet mean you don't like me?
A shadow puppet is an established member who has created another "persona/screenname" and posts incognito (for fun or other reasons I'm not able to understand ;) )... well they believe they are incognito but usually are figured out fairly quickly.

With that said, feel free to come out of the closet (we have a confessional around here somewhere) if need be. BTW, full access to the Zemonkey Unisex Gentlemanties Club requires registering your bank account and pin#, mothers maiden name and pants size. I am Treasurer so providing the necessary information to me via the Private Msging function (avail. 24/hrs a day for your convenience) is the fastest way to process your application.

Once this simple step is out of the way, the wonderful world of Zemonkey wit, laughter and the Dinz n' Beale Show awaits you. :)

[Spicy Jack]

HEY! No one told me about the ZUGC! I'm sending you my info right away!

[malarkey]

okay i will do that. i got to go home and get my bank details but i will do it later and bring them back here and send them to you. my mothers name is lindsey grey but before she got married she was lindsay coulson and my pants size is medium i think. how do you get the black writing to come up in the little box?

[malarkey]

oh i am not one of those shadow puppets because i have only been on here for one day but maybe i can be one later when i have figured out how this thing works

[Spicy Jack]

uh huh.

[malarkey]

i like it though. it's a good idea i'm just not very good at this thing yet.

[malarkey]

also, how do you get the black writing to come up in the little box. you know like whenh you are replying to a message but someone else has already typed something in the next box!!!

[Magpie]

What "little box"? Do you mean quoting someone? Like....

Originally posted by malarkey
also, how do you get the black writing to come up in the little box. you know like whenh you are replying to a message but someone else has already typed something in the next box!!!

[lapietra]

Click on "quote" at the bottom of the message you want to quote.

[Magpie]

WHO TOLD YOU YOU WERE OFF GROUNDING YOUNG LADY

[melissa]

oooooo, someone's in trouble....

[malarkey]

Originally posted by lapietra
Click on "quote" at the bottom of the message you want to quote.

like this?

[malarkey]

yay!!! i did it!!!

[melissa]

I think he figured it out!!

Way to go Malarkey.

[lapietra]

Originally posted by Magpie
WHO TOLD YOU YOU WERE OFF GROUNDING YOUNG LADY

DUDE THIS ISNT THAT THREAD YOU NEED TO GO TO THE OTHER THREAD

YOU CANT JUST GO POSTING IN ALL CAPS WITHOUT PUNCTUATION IN ANY THREAD YOU FEEL LIKE IT WILLY NILLY

[malarkey]

sorry. i'm still figuring it out.

[melissa]

Keep working on it.

[malarkey]

ok

[melissa]

good boy.

[malarkey]

ha ha ha!!! I'm not a boy. I am eighteen!!! I born on christmas!!!

[melissa]

That's young enough to be a boy.

[malarkey]

ok then and you are a girl

[melissa]

Of course I am. Especially when I'm cross-dressing.

[malarkey]

do you have any pictures of you crossdressing? i would like to see them. i kind of think that would be cool. how old are you?

[melissa]

I'm the blond 39 year old.

[malarkey]

in the nice dress?

[melissa]

You'll figure it out.

[malarkey]

yes. i went to the pictures list and it is you. you are very pretty. and you have a really friendly face and you look like you are a very happy girl. and you don't even look 39. it seems like everybody looks younger than they are. you look like 22. maybe even younger. you are nice.

[melissa]

You're half right.

[malarkey]

ok

[agentsmith]

i expect you'll be wanting a jrocker...

no? YOU DONT????

too bad, thats the way it works around here...

http://club.chosun.com/portals/cedit/data/jrock/jrockC01.jpg

[malarkey]

are they girls or boys?

[agentsmith]

men, you fool....MEN!

(thats rule number one with jrockers....if in doubt of their sex, always assume male....)

[zenbabe]

Have you ever had one? Is it true what they say?

[agentsmith]

EVERYTHING IS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[malarkey]

they are cool!!! i would love to dress up like that!!!

[Avalon]

Originally posted by malarkey
they are cool!!! i would love to dress up like that!!!

Agent.....
isn't that like begging for a Chainsaw Enema???


************************************************** **
Main Entry: ma·lar·key
Variant(s): also ma·lar·ky /m&-'lär-kE/
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
: insincere or foolish talk

[malarkey]

that's so cool, that thing with my name!!!

[agentsmith]

Originally posted by Avalon
Agent.....
isn't that like begging for a Chainsaw Enema???


it is....*revs up the chainsaw*

[priceyfatprude]

Originally posted by malarkey
ha ha ha!!! I'm not a boy. I am eighteen!!! I born on christmas!!! *boink*