Go-it-Semi-Alone Limericks with Help from my Friends

[Audreyvgs]

Sometimes I want to do 2 lines.
Sometimes I want to do 3 lines.
Sometimes I want to snort the whole thing

Maybe this should be called Limericks for the Selfish Purist.

I'll start,
no, after you
no, I insist.

OK


I wonder why some would still post
on threads that they'd usually roast.
could they know who it is?
maybe that's how it tiz


now you go. copy/paste as usual

[zenbabe]

I wonder why some would still post
on threads that they'd usually roast.
could they know who it is?
maybe that's how it tiz
In the shadows you can be your own ghost

[Smartypants]

I think that this thread's got potential,
because sometimes some leeway's essential.

[weissenflatz]

I think that this thread's got potential,
because sometimes some leeway's essential.
But there's always the risk of crap,
when Weissen starts his mayhep

[Audreyvgs]

I think that this thread's got potential,
because sometimes some leeway's essential.
But there's always the risk of crap,
when Weissen starts his mayhep
I find the above line evidential!

[Audreyvgs]

I feel bad I made fun of Weiz
there's such worse ones, with no ties
he contributes with glee
when he gets on a spree
He just might feel bad from all this Scheiss!

JINX!

[weissenflatz]

I feel bad I made fun of Weiz
He might feel bad from all this Scheiss

[Audreyvgs]

Jinx means to post at the same time

[Coffee]

Jinx means to post at the same time
but it can also start off a new rhyme

[Audreyvgs]

Jinx means to post at the same time
but it can also start off a new rhyme
it can also cause trouble
if you talk on the double

[madasacutsnake]

Jinx means to post at the same time
but it can also start off a new rhyme
it can also cause trouble
if you talk on the double
But noxxing! There's a real crime.

[Audreyvgs]

Yes, I did that I admit.
I was having some kind of a fit!
It was kindof like dyslexia
combined with appoplexia,

[Audreyvgs]

Yes, I did that I admit.
I was having some kind of a fit!
It was kindof like dyslexia
combined with appoplexia,
and caused my obnoxious noxxious snit

[Audreyvgs]

There once was a gal from Nantucket














tee hee :cool:

[Smartypants]

There once was a gal from Nantucket
Who could think of more rhymes than just "bucket."



tee hee back at ya! :cool:

[Audreyvgs]

There once was a gal from Nantucket
Who could think of more rhymes than just "bucket."
She could think on her feet
and thought it was sweet
to say "Nantucket, Nantucket, O Forget it."

[Coffee]

I made me a real nice pot holder
and my oven mitt makes me feel bolder
to put my hands on the heat
and fetch out the meat
but now my balls feel a bit colder.

I think that I'll take me a sock
and trim it to use on my jock
no reason my willy
should remain chilly
if warm rags are in my cloth stock.

[madasacutsnake]

I do like starting these off
It gives me license to thicken the plot

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I do like starting these off
It gives me license to thicken the plot
and bring the innuendo
to a rousing crescendo

[madasacutsnake]

I do like starting these off
It gives me license to thicken the plot
and bring the innuendo
to a rousing crescendo
Or just give it to them straight like Pol Pot

[Audreyvgs]

Pol Pots Pot Holder got Hot

[Coffee]

Pol Pots Pot Holder got Hot
He stuck it where it should go...not!

[madasacutsnake]

Pol Pots Pot Holder got Hot
He stuck it where it should go...not!
And he can no longer moon
Because he stuck the spoon

[Audreyvgs]

Pol Pots Pot Holder got Hot
He stuck it where it should go...not!
And he can no longer moon
Because he stuck the spoon
in the biggest hole Pol Pot's got

[Audreyvgs]

I've heard it said you're republican

[Coffee]

I've heard it said you're republican
I'd like to stuff you in a trash can
Cuz its election year
this country I hold dear
Don't make me kick you in the ass man.

[Audreyvgs]

I'm confused by the left and the right

[Coffee]

I'm confused by the left and the right
as well by the day and the night.
Is up really down?
Is George smart or a clown?

[madasacutsnake]

I'm confused by the left and the right
as well by the day and the night.
Is up really down?
Is George smart or a clown?
Or just a whopping big piece of shite.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I decided to go for a wander
Hoping my absence might make you fonder

[Aphrodite]

I decided to go for a wander
Hoping my absence might make you fonder
Instead you forgot

[Coffee]

I decided to go for a wander
Hoping my absence might make you fonder
Instead you forgot
my number, you snot

[Aphrodite]

I decided to go for a wander
Hoping my absence might make you fonder
Instead you forgot
my number, you snot
And now it's your absence I ponder

[madasacutsnake]

I wish I had a big houses
Like Tammy on "Trading Spouses"
"I was so very excited to see
My host family were minority"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I wish I had a big houses
Like Tammy on "Trading Spouses"
"I was so very excited to see
My host family were minority
I've had to invest in new trousers"

[madasacutsnake]

The black fella made her cream her jeans

[funkytuba]

The black fella made her cream her jeans
and gave us concern for hygienes

[joppa.gal]

The black fella made her cream her jeans
and gave us concern for hygienes
"Oh crap! My Levi's!!"

[Audreyvgs]

The black fella made her cream her jeans
and gave us concern for hygienes
"Oh crap! My Levi's!!"
I see his third eye!

[funkytuba]

The black fella made her cream her jeans
and gave us concern for hygienes
"Oh crap! My Levi's!!
I see his third eye!
It seems we'll soon mix his with my genes"

[Audreyvgs]

I wish I could wake up Australian
in a time zone where animals mammalian

[dinzdale]

I wish I could wake up Australian
in a time zone where animals mammalian
run wild as they should

[Coffee]

I wish I could wake up Australian
in a time zone where animals mammalian
run wild as they should,
and where jills blow on wood
causing purring that sounds crocadilian

[funkytuba]

sleep's not an option for me
though once in a while I can pee
they bring me a cup
and I fill it up

[joppa.gal]

sleep's not an option for me
though once in a while I can pee
they bring me a cup
and I fill it up
Big Gulp whilst on a urinating spree!

[Audreyvgs]

I'm recalling all those past debates

[joppa.gal]

I'm recalling all those past debates
Those speeches in pivotal states...

[funkytuba]

I'm recalling all those past debates
Those speeches in pivotal states...
To vote? I'll demur.
The outcome seems sure
One waffles while one masturbates

[Audreyvgs]

Of politics I'm really sick
Im sure that both could be a dick
money makes both men i think
one's a dweeb and one's a dink
I'll vote for who gets us out quick.

[joppa.gal]

"Where's my hairspray?" asked Kerry,
As his helmet started sporting hairies,

[Audreyvgs]

"Where's my hairspray?" asked Kerry,
As his helmet started sporting hairies,
"I dont want a Bush!"
"I'll look like a tush!"
"I dont want to look quite that scary~!"

[Audreyvgs]

Theresa said Laura's a Bitch

[Coffee]

Theresa said Laura's a Bitch
Dub said "just ignore the witch
Don't give in and throttle
the saucy Red Bottle

[Audreyvgs]

Theresa said Laura's a Bitch
Dub said "just ignore the witch
Don't give in and throttle
the saucy Red Bottle
just talk about her and make her nose itch.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a rather strange fellow
Whose tongue was distinctively yellow

[Audreyvgs]

There once was a rather strange fellow
Whose tongue was distinctively yellow
Spicy said with a laugh
come give it a bath
you need some more of my jello!

[RuneT]

I sure do stink
but I need a drink
Don't be a man hater
I'll shower later
I don't give a shit what you think

[Gatsby]

A bubbling young lass from Wamsutta

[Spicy Jack]

A bubbling young lass from Wamsutta
decided to spread on some butta

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A bubbling young lass from Wamsutta
decided to spread on some butta
She claimed she was toast
A strange kind of boast
Still she tasted quite good for a nutter

[Audreyvgs]

Im apalled with this year's election
of a guy who'd fark up an erection

[Aphrodite]

Im apalled with this year's election
of a guy who'd fark up an erection
He calls it his weapon

[sparticle]

Im apalled with this year's election
of a guy who'd fark up an erection
He calls it his weapon;
The whole UN's schleppin' --
Alas -- it's too small for detection.

[madasacutsnake]

There once was a man called Bush
Whose brains were a big pile of mush

[Audreyvgs]

There once was a man called Bush
Whose brains were a big pile of mush
caused by massive pollution
but there's a solution

[Aphrodite]

There once was a man called Bush
Whose brains were a big pile of mush
caused by massive pollution
but there's a solution
It includes my foot and his tush

[funkytuba]

I've been absent for quite a long while

[Audreyvgs]

I've been absent for quite a long while
but in abstentia have retained my strong style

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've been absent for quite a long while
but in abstentia have retained my strong style
but my style has turned steadily bolder and stronger
because my limericky lines have grown so unashamedly longer
and I think you'll agree this last one right here is much too long by a mile

[Gatsby]

Let's move to the coast and forget

[Spicy Jack]

Let's move to the coast and forget
this horrible weather and regret

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Let's move to the coast and forget
this horrible weather and regret
we'll have fun in the sun

[lapietra]

Let's move to the coast and forget
this horrible weather and regret
we'll have fun in the sun
eat oranges by the ton

[Gatsby]

Let's move to the coast and forget
this horrible weather and regret
we'll have fun in the sun
eat oranges by the ton
And perfect a collective sestet

[joppa.gal]

I'm a little put off by my maid;

[trisherina]

I'm a little put off by my maid;
I scarcely begrudge what she's paid

[funkytuba]

I'm a little put off by my maid;
I scarcely begrudge what she's paid
as long as she does

[Gatsby]

I'm a little put off by my maid;
I scarcely begrudge what she's paid
as long as she does
that thing to remove fuzz

[Audreyvgs]

I'm a little put off by my maid;
I scarcely begrudge what she's paid
as long as she does
that thing to remove fuzz
then sprays the damn thing with some Glade

[Hyakujo's Fox]

When the wind blows this hard, I tingle

[trisherina]

When the wind blows this hard, I tingle
I'm married but act like I'm single

[Hyakujo's Fox]

When the wind blows this hard, I tingle
I'm married but act like I'm single
At strangers I'm winking
and secretly thinking

[trisherina]

When the wind blows this hard, I tingle
I'm married but act like I'm single
At strangers I'm winking
and secretly thinking
Of all of the ways we could mingle.

[Audreyvgs]

I'm hormonally challenged as well

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'm hormonally challenged as well
So you people can all go to hell

[Gatsby]

I'm hormonally challenged as well
So you people can all go to hell
I'll continue my b*tching
I'll scratch where I'm itching

[funkytuba]

I'm hormonally challenged as well
just in case you found it hard to tell
I'll continue my b*tching
I'll scratch where I'm itching
So you people can all go to hell

[joppa.gal]

The monkey was scratching his back

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The monkey was scratching his back
When he heard an most ominous quack

[straymonk]

The monkey was scratching his back
When he heard an most ominous quack
A duck with a gun
had come up at a run
yelling, "Monkey, you should have bought AFLAC!"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The worst thing about life underground

[Marcus Bales]

The worst thing about life underground
Is not just the absence of sound

[trisherina]

The worst thing about life underground
Is not just the absence of sound
It's the long endless night

[Aphrodite]

The worst thing about life underground
Is not just the absence of sound
It's the long endless night
With the absence of light

[Coffee]

The worst thing about life underground
Is not just the absence of sound
It's the long endless night
With the absence of light
and barely a friend to be found

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Now someone's upset Baby Jesus

[trisherina]

Now someone's upset Baby Jesus
He's wailing in hitches and wheezes

[Marcus Bales]

Now someone's upset Baby Jesus
He's wailing in hitches and wheezes
The ox and the lamb

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Now someone's upset Baby Jesus
He's wailing in hitches and wheezes
The ox and the lamb
Decided to scram

[Aphrodite]

Now someone's upset Baby Jesus
He's wailing in hitches and wheezes
The ox and the lamb
Decided to scram
And the shepherds have been brought to their knees(us)

And so began, kneeling in prayer

[trisherina]

And so began, kneeling in prayer
A day of most awful despair

[Marcus Bales]

And so began, kneeling in prayer,
A day of most awful despair --
The Wise Men appeared

[trisherina]

And so began, kneeling in prayer,
A day of most awful despair --
The Wise Men appeared
And quoth, "Be not afeard!"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

And so began, kneeling in prayer,
A day of most awful despair --
The Wise Men appeared
And quoth, "Be not afeard!"
We've got myrrh and frankincense to spare

[Gatsby]

But that colicky savior kept wailing

[trisherina]

But that colicky savior kept wailing
While dreaming of crosses and nailing

[Gatsby]

But that colicky savior kept wailing
While dreaming of crosses and nailing
The wise men, annoyed

[Marcus Bales]

But that colicky savior kept wailing
While dreaming of crosses and nailing
The wise men, annoyed,
Were quoting from Freud

[Aphrodite]

But that colicky savior kept wailing
While dreaming of crosses and nailing
The wise men, annoyed,
Were quoting from Freud
"Unwed mothers!" "Oedipus's failing"

[joppa.gal]

Try as I might I can't find

[Marcus Bales]

Try as I might I can't find
A lawyer so ethically blind

[Gatsby]

Try as I might I can't find
A lawyer so ethically blind
As to do all my bidding

[Aphrodite]

Try as I might I can't find
A lawyer so ethically blind
As to do all my bidding
But who am I kidding

[funkytuba]

Try as I might I can't find
A lawyer so ethically blind
As to do all my bidding
But who am I kidding
my pockets aren't well-enough lined

[Marcus Bales]

On Tuesday the moving van came

[trisherina]

On Tuesday the moving van came
To my house, but they had the wrong name

[funkytuba]

On Tuesday the moving van came
To my house, but they had the wrong name
so instead of four big guys
they sent just one small fry

[Coffee]

On Tuesday the moving van came
To my house, but they had the wrong name
so instead of four big guys
they sent just one small fry
I'm Waldo, not Bilbo, how lame.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

My Christmas tree is no longer green
It's a pathetic sight to be seen

[trisherina]

My Christmas tree is no longer green
It's a pathetic sight to be seen
At the end of the year
It dies, like my cheer

[Large Marge]

My Christmas tree is no longer green
It's a pathetic sight to be seen
At the end of the year
It dies, like my cheer
And is kicked to the curb by a teen

[Hyakujo's Fox]

At the top of a little green hill

[Marcus Bales]

At the top of a little green hill
And hidden from sight was a still

[trisherina]

At the top of a little green hill
And hidden from sight was a still
If you filled it with stuff
It made booze that was rough,

[Coffee]

At the top of a little green hill
And hidden from sight was a still
If you filled it with stuff
It made booze that was rough,
but better than taking a pill.

[Marcus Bales]

"You want me to _what_ on your _what_?"

[Large Marge]

You want me to what on your what?
You can't make me do that to you, but

[Marcus Bales]

You want me to _what_ on your _what_?
You can't make me do that to you, but
If you promise you'll do

[Large Marge]

You want me to _what_ on your _what_?
You can't make me do that to you, but
If you promise you'll do
that thing I find so true



Sorry, I didn't understand what the underscores were; I thought you meant them for emphasis. ?

[Marcus Bales]

You want me to _what_ on your _what_?
You can't make me do that, dear -- but
If you promise you'll do
That thing I find true
Then I'll hit the drive if you'll putt.

[Large Marge]

You want me to _what_ on your _what_?
You can't make me do that, dear -- but
If you promise you'll do
That thing I find true
Then I'll hit the drive if you'll putt.


Hey! You canged it!

Cheater, cheater, cheater!!!

[Marcus Bales]

You want me to _what_ on your _what_?
You can't make me do that, dear -- but
If you promise you'll do
That thing I find true
Then I'll hit the drive if you'll putt.

>Hey! You canged it!
>Cheater, cheater, cheater!!!<

Now Marge, I improved it by making
The syllables right you had faking
The limerick meter;
It's not I'm a cheater --
I'm fixing the things you were breaking.

[Large Marge]

Oh Marcus, you are the king
Your skills as a limericker sing
Please find my mistakes
And remove them post haste.
I'll be obliged to take you out drinking.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

In some sleazier works of fiction
You may come across a description

[Large Marge]

In some sleazier works of fiction
You may come across a description
of a moment of sin
whose plot is so thin

[Marcus Bales]

In some sleazier works of fiction
You may come across a depiction
Of a moment of sin
Whose plot is so thin --
Revelations is quite an addiction.

[joppa.gal]

On boards such as this it is rare
that one would find such an unlikely pair

[Large Marge]

On boards such as this it is rare
that one would find such an unlikely pair
but the two hit it off
and made everyone scoff

[funkytuba]

On boards such as this surely it is rare
that one would find such an unlikely pair
but the two hit it off
and made everyone scoff
And now they prance round in their underwear

[Marcus Bales]

Bertie appealed to his aunt
"You can't make me do it -- you can't!"

[xfox]

Bertie appealed to his aunt
"You can't make me do it -- you can't!"
I simply won't bide your tidings
you rant, on and on I just won't

[funkytuba]

Bertie appealed to his aunt
"You can't make me do it -- you can't!"
I simply won't bide
your tidings--they're snide
you rant, on and on I just shan't"

[Large Marge]

Bert and Ernie lived happily as roomies

[Coffee]

Bert and Ernie lived happily as roomies
until they ran out of their shroomies.
They saw with new eyes
and began to despise

[trisherina]

Bert and Ernie lived happily as roomies
until they ran out of their shroomies.
They saw with new eyes
and began to despise
their depression. They called it "the gloomies."

[Large Marge]

Some would say Bert and Ernie were gay

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Some would say Bert and Ernie were gay
And so, to keep the rumours at bay

[Large Marge]

Some would say Bert and Ernie were gay
And so, to keep the rumours at bay
they rented two dames

[Aphrodite]

Some would say Bert and Ernie were gay
And so, to keep the rumours at bay
they rented two dames
and watched football games

[Marcus Bales]

Some said Bert and Ernie were gay
And so, to keep rumours at bay
they rented two dames
and watched football games --
is that proof enough, would you say?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Now Ernie had a wee rubber duck

[Marcus Bales]

Now Ernie had a wee rubber duck
And Burt had a big pickup truck

[trisherina]

Now Ernie had a wee rubber duck
And Burt had a big pickup truck.
Won't say it? I will!
Put them on the sill
And check out if they will... ffffffall off.

[Large Marge]

The president may not be well read

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The president may not be well read
and believes the world flat, it is said

[I lidbotLl l]

The president may not be well read
and believes the world flat, it is said
rumors of a metal plate, breakfeast in bed?
crackin that a$$ like starch on the stink
"WE'LL FIX THOES WRINKLES, DON'T F*$#$G THINK,"
Off comes Rumsfeld's belt!
"Smells like leather and flesh," skelator said.
Fresh white sheets sounds of bright butt bled
shaking his head,
"WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER CLONED THAT INBRED!"

[Large Marge]

The president may not be well read
and believes the world flat, it is said
but he is the big cheese

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The president may not be well read
and believes the world flat, it is said
but he is the big cheese
with the nucular keys

[funkytuba]

The president may not be well read
and believes the world flat, it is said
but he is the big cheese
with the nucular keys
so for Iran's sake, let him screw up a limerick now and then, ok, or they'll be dead.

[Large Marge]

A limerick's rules are debatable

[Marcus Bales]

A limerick's rules are debatable
If you think of its lines as inflatable

[I lidbotLl l]

A limerick's rules are debatable
If you think of its lines as inflatable
Deflateable perciveing reception rule lines

[Large Marge]

A limerick's rules are debatable
If you think of its lines as inflatable
Deflateable perciveing reception rule lines

I'm gunna let Funky Tuba finish this one.
;)

[funkytuba]

I'm gunna let Funky Tuba finish this one.
;)
A limerick's rules are debatable
If you think of its lines as inflatable
Deflateable perciveing
reception rule lin[ing]
And some posters posts: masturbatable

[I lidbotLl l]

A limerick's rules are debatable
If you think of its lines as inflatable
Deflateable perciveing
reception rule lin[ing]
And some posters posts: masturbatable

thank you.
do you use cream? don't use toothpaste, just trust me on this one.

[Large Marge]

There once was a whore named Frey

[I lidbotLl l]

There once was a whore named Frey
A bunch of noise bruised knees

[Marcus Bales]

There once was a whore named Frey
Who said "If a team gets a bye

[I lidbotLl l]

There once was a whore named Frey
Who said "If a team gets a bye
slicing some pizza pie

[Marcus Bales]

There once was a whore named Frey
Who said "If a team gets a bye
When they go to extremes
To beat other teams,
Then why in the devil don't I?"

[Large Marge]

Ms. Yates had her case overturned

[I lidbotLl l]

Ms. Yates had her case overturned
Tylonol, its probably byebottle *waves*

[Aphrodite]

Ms. Yates had her case overturned
through loopholes it seems, we've been burned.

[Marcus Bales]

Ms. Yates had her case overturned
through loopholes it seems, we've been burned.
The damned IRS is
Excluding her dresses

[I lidbotLl l]

Ms. Yates had her case overturned
through loopholes it seems, we've been burned.
The damned IRS is
Excluding her dresses
restless prunning rasins shrooming

[Large Marge]

Ms. Yates had her case overturned
through loopholes it seems, we've been burned.
The damned IRS is
Excluding her dresses
restless prunning rasins shrooming


Mr. Lidbot?

Will you please stop being an ass in the Fiction project? Really, you're ruining such a wonderful thing.

If you'd like to be an ass, there's plenty of room and more of an audience in Fast Chat, where some people may find you amusing.

Here, you're just pissing everyone off.

Thanks for listening.

[Large Marge]

I lust after Conan O'Brien

[I lidbotLl l]

Mr. Lidbot?

Will you please stop being an ass in the Fiction project? Really, you're ruining such a wonderful thing.

If you'd like to be an ass, there's plenty of room and more of an audience in Fast Chat, where some people may find you amusing.

Here, you're just pissing everyone off.

Thanks for listening.

miss marg

??i've looked and can't find the rules fer these limericks??
according to your red points thingamickggingy i am an ass,
i'm here for my own amusment,
not to piss everyone off though.. tell you what, you give me the "rules" aaaaand I'll do my best to meet your standards, fair enough?

[Marcus Bales]

Look here for the rules on how to write a limerick:

http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?t=863&page=1&pp=15

[Hyakujo's Fox]

If you check the first post of the thread, hopefully it will have some indication of what people are trying to achieve.

For general limericky check the links in Limerick Lessons (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?t=4935)

[I lidbotLl l]

thanks, i suck, i'll read thoes later, gotta throw up

[Large Marge]

miss marg

??i've looked and can't find the rules fer these limericks??
according to your red points thingamickggingy i am an ass,
i'm here for my own amusment,
not to piss everyone off though.. tell you what, you give me the "rules" aaaaand I'll do my best to meet your standards, fair enough?

Try reading the first post of each forum.

They are not MY standards.

[Large Marge]

I lust after Conan O'Brien

[Marcus Bales]

I lust after Conan O'Brien
Though his face looks like fresh bacon fryin'

[Gatsby]

I lust after Conan O'Brien
Though his face looks like fresh bacon fryin'
That quick Irish wit

[funkytuba]

I lust after Conan O'Brien
Though his face looks like fresh bacon fryin'
That quick Irish wit
brings a rise to my tit

[Large Marge]

I lust after Conan O'Brien
Though his face looks like fresh bacon fryin'
That quick Irish wit
brings a rise to my tit
and his jokes always leave me cryin'

[Large Marge]

Al Franken should run for president

[Marcus Bales]

Al Franken should run for president
His hair's got that wavy non-frizzy dent
His smile's nice, he's bright,
He's male, and he's white --
No worse than the one who's now resident.

[Gatsby]

Thank God for free speech in this country

[Large Marge]

Thank God for free speech in this country
it makes some of us feel rather sultry

[Marcus Bales]

Thank God for free speech in this country
it makes some of us feel rather sultry
and so over-sexed
that we don't care what's next
and try to rhyme "sultry" with "country"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I did once take a dip in Loch Ness

[Marcus Bales]

I once took a dip in Loch Ness
With Bobby, and took off my dress

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I once took a dip in Loch Ness
With Bobby, and took off my dress
the water - so chilly

[Aphrodite]

I once took a dip in Loch Ness
With Bobby, and took off my dress
the water - so chilly
inverted his willy

[Large Marge]

I once took a dip in Loch Ness
With Bobby, and took off my dress
the water - so chilly
inverted his willy
And then, well you know the rest

[Large Marge]

Bales has a word that rhymes "country"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Bales has a word that rhymes "country"
A claim I denounce as effront'ry
As a friend from Japan
remarked quite deadpan
"Ah, that's a road of clap bruntry!"

[Marcus Bales]

The new recruit shouted "Hey, Sarge!"

[Gatsby]

The new recruit shouted "Hey, Sarge!"
"I can't figure out who's in charge!"

[Marcus Bales]

The new recruit shouted "Hey, Sarge!"
"I can't figure out who's in charge!"
"It seems all the brass

[trisherina]

The new recruit shouted "Hey, Sarge!"
"I can't figure out who's in charge!"
"It seems all the brass
Has been killed; mustard gas!"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The new recruit shouted "Hey, Sarge!"
"I can't figure out who's in charge!"
"It seems all the brass
Has been killed; mustard gas!"
"And the corporal suspects sabotage!"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'm in love with that new av of trish's
Its motions - hypnotic, delicious

[trisherina]

I'm in love with that new av of trish's
Its motions - hypnotic, delicious
Her real name is Sara;
She's a primipara

[funkytuba]

I'm in love with that new av of trish's
Its motions - hypnotic, delicious
Her real name is Sara;
She's a primipara
and, too, quite the succulent dish!

[Marcus Bales]

But Funky's is brutal and short

[Gatsby]

But Funky's is brutal and short
All fear that the fax will retort

[Marcus Bales]

But Funky's is brutal and short
All fear that the fax will retort
And what they will get
Is a physical threat

[Hyakujo's Fox]

But Funky's is brutal and short
All fear that the fax will retort
And what they will get
Is a physical threat
and a subpoena from district court

[Large Marge]

The fox and the hen began courting

[Marcus Bales]

A fox whose name came from Japan

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The fox and the hen began courting
and soon after they started cavorting



A fox whose name came from Japan
was pursued wherever he ran

[Audreyvgs]

The fox and the hen began courting
and soon after they started cavorting



A fox whose name came from Japan
was pursued wherever he ran



Whaddya think Marcus's been snorting?

[Marcus Bales]

The fox and the hen began courting
and soon after they started cavorting
She thought him the egg-man
But found him a leg man


A fox whose name came from Japan
was pursued wherever he ran
by women in love
with his sacrifice of



Whaddya think Marcus's been snorting?
Nothing -- Dan Rather's reporting

[funkytuba]

The fox and the hen began courting
and soon after they started cavorting
She thought him the egg-man
But found him a leg man
Now, two fewer drumsticks she's sporting

A fox whose name came from Japan
was pursued wherever he ran
by women in love
with his sacrifice of
a dove he made of marzipan


Whaddya think Marcus's been snorting?
Nothing -- Dan Rather's reporting:
"My sources, they say
the memo's okay."
It seems now the story's aborting.

[Gatsby]

Simultaneous postings are rampant

[Marcus Bales]

Simultaneous postings are rampant
Like sexy ex-lovers like Pam (pant)
Who pant on and scream
As if you're their dream
But are orgasm fakers who sham pant.

[Marcus Bales]

The evening was silver and orange

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The evening was silver - and orange
oh so very silvery - and orange
the bits that were silver
weren't orange - but silver
on that evening so silver - and orange

[Large Marge]

She always wore clothes colored purple

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She always wore clothes colored purple
and students would call her Miss Burple

[Marcus Bales]

She always wore clothes colored purple
and students would call her Miss Burple
She dated, for danger,
A LRP and a Ranger --
What a Ranger won't do, well, a LRP'll.

[Marcus Bales]

"The check's in the mail," he replied

[Hyakujo's Fox]

"The check's in the mail," he replied
But instinct informed me he lied

[madasacutsnake]

"The check's in the mail," he replied
But instinct informed me he lied
So I checked the female
To find her a she-male

[Marcus Bales]

"The check's in the mail," he replied
But instinct informed me he lied
So I checked the female
To find her a she-male
And drunk -- she was high and outside.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The new girl has caused such distraction

[Marcus Bales]

The new girl has caused such distraction
That we're only doing a fraction

[madasacutsnake]

The new girl has caused such distraction
That we're only doing a fraction
Of what we're meant
Because our time is spent
Taking care of our constant er-actions.

[Marcus Bales]

Someone has stolen my pillow

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Someone has stolen my pillow
Could it be a rogue armadillo
That entered my room
my pillow to consume
and sped off towards Amarillo?

[madasacutsnake]

I *heart* custom user titles
I find them extremely vital

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I *heart* custom user titles
I find them extremely vital
to express all I feel

[trisherina]

I *heart* custom user titles
I find them extremely vital
to express all I feel
or perhaps to conceal
my pain at their ease of recital

[rapscalious rob]

I just learned to use quick reply

[madasacutsnake]

I just learned to use quick reply
Speedy answers I will supply

[Large Marge]

I just learned to use quick reply
Speedy answers I will supply
So in case you can't sit
for snake's clever wit
I suggest you make haste and fly

[Marcus Bales]

A lesbian truck driver, Marge

[Large Marge]

A lesbian truck driver, Marge,
doesn't care for arrogance large

[Marcus Bales]

A lesbian truck driver, Marge,
doesn't care for arrogance large
or small -- she feels
that love's ideals
are a viable ethical charge.

[Large Marge]

A trip to the edge of the lake

[trisherina]

A trip to the edge of the lake
With wine and a copy of Blake
And a drunken musician
Could lead to some fishin';
And maybe some ol' "hide the snake."

[Large Marge]

A trip to the edge of the lake
With wine and a copy of Blake
And a drunken musician
Could lead to some fishin';
And maybe some ol' "hide the snake."

Love it!! :D




While fishing one Sunday morn'

[trisherina]

While fishing one Sunday morn'
I wished I had never been born
When I spotted two wrasse
Wrassling hard for some ass;
I had stumbled upon some fish porn.

The sun came up red through the steam

[madasacutsnake]

The sun came up red through the steam
I watched a trout wooing a bream
I saw why cods are called cods
When they got out their rods,
A fishy, yet erotic, dream


The bearded mussels had gone brazilian
Their innards on view were vermillion
I saw clams in a new light

[straymonk]

The bearded mussels had gone brazilian
Their innards on view were vermillion
I saw clams in a new light
Their pearls are so tight
Mollusk bling is worth a cool million.

A diver was holding his breath

[Coffee]

A diver was holding his breath
for he was allergic to death
he ran out of air
in an octopus lair
his quarry was out of his deapth

Held fast by four legs out of eight

[Large Marge]

Held fast by four legs out of eight
the other four dangled as bait