hush little baby

[zero]

hush little baby dont say a word
mamas going to buy you a mockingbird
and if that mockingbird dont sing
mamas going to buy you a diamond ring
and if that diamond ring turns brass
mamas going to buy you a looking glass
and if that looking glass gets broke
mamas going to buy you a billy goat
and if that billy goat wont pull
mamas going to buy you a cart and bull
and if that cart and bull turn over
mamas going to buy you a dog named rover
and if that dog named Rover wont bark
mamas going to buy you a horse and cart

[zero]

and if that horse and cart gets stuck
mamas going to buy you monster truck

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that monster truck don't crush
mamas gonna buy you a scrubbing brush

[Aphrodite]

and if that scrubbing brush wears down
Mama's gonna buy you a floor length gown

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that floor length gown gets tatty
mama's gonna buy you an all-beef pattie

[trisherina]

and if that all-beef pattie should rot
mama's gonna buy you an army cot

[zero]

and if that army cot should collapse
mamas going to buy you a brian synapse

[trisherina]

and if that brain synapse should crack
mama's gonna buy you some new Prozac

[lapietra]

and if that Prozac makes you itch
mama's gonna buy you a drainage ditch

[Aphrodite]

and if the drainage ditch flows over
mama's gonna pick you a 4 leaf clover

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that 4 leaf clover wilts
mama's gonna buy you a pair of stilts

[madasacutsnake]

and if that pair of stilts should break
mamma's gonna buy you a Gucci fake

[trisherina]

and if that Gucci fake breaks down
mama's gonna buy you a jeweled crown

[zero]

and if that jeweled crown just fits
mamas going to buy you silicone tits

[Zaftig]

and if those silicone tits spring leaks
mama's gonna buy you some mountain peaks

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if those mountain peaks should fall
mama's gonna buy you a shopping mall

[zero]

and if that shopping mall should close
mamas going to buy you a length of hose

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that length of hose should leak
mama's gonna buy you a circus freak

[rapscalious rob]

and if that circus freak gets sued
mama’s gonna buy you a better mood

[zero]

and if that better mood should fade
mamas gonna toss you a hand grenade

[Smartypants]

And if that hand grenade goes boom,
mama's gonna buy you some French perfume

[Coffee]

and if that french perfume smells bad
moma's gonna give the bill to dad

[zero]

and if that bill to dads too much
momas gonna sell your rabbits hutch

[Coffee]

and if your rabbit craps in the house
moma's gonna smack you in the mouth.

[rapscalious rob]

and if that smack in the mouth makes you cry
mama’s gonna buy you a butterfly

[Coffee]

And if that butter fly lays a grub
moma's gonna give you a belly rub

[Hyakujo's Fox]

And if that belly rub don't tickle
mama's gonna buy you a girthy pickle

[rapscalious rob]

and if that girthy pickle’s too fat
mama’s gonna buy you a laundromat

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that laundromat should flood
mama's gonna buy you a pint of blood

[funkytuba]

and if that pint of blood's the wrong type
momma's gonna buy you republican hype

[Smartypants]

And if that republican hype don't sway,
mama's gonna vote for someone gay

[zero]

and if that gay-type comes near you
momas going to demonstrate her kung fu

[Zaftig]

And if those kung fu kicks go stale
mama's gonna buy you a barrel of ale

[dinzdale]

and if that barrels of ale runs dry
momma's gonna poke you in the eye

[Aphrodite]

and if that eye poke makes you cry
Mama's gonna bake you an apple pie

[trisherina]

and if that apple pie's too tart
mama's gonna let out a big long fart

[Willow Sylph]

and if that big long fart smells foul
mama’s gonna show off a great big scowl

[dinzdale]

and if that great big scowl is scary
Momma's gonna dress you like a fairy

[Coffee]

And if that dress should suit you fine
Moma's gonna rent you for a good time.

[zero]

and if the hourly rate's not enough
momas going to make you do bad stuff

[lapietra]

and if that bad stuff makes you hot
mama's gonna get you a movie shot

[Smartypants]

and if you win a statuette,
mama's gonna buy a corporate jet

[rapscalious rob]

and if that corporate jet experiences turbulence
mama’s gonna buy you a barrel of turtle mints

[Spicy Jack]

and if those turtle mints all melt
mamas gonna beat you with her belt

[rapscalious rob]

and if those belt beats leave red marks
mama’s gonna buy you a tank of sharks

[Coffee]

and if that tank of sharks should break
Mama will throw you in Pirranah Lake.

[Coffee]

sorry...I must hijack this next post...this just occured to me so I came back on line to post it..hehehe...

and if you get your dick bit off
Moma will compare you to Hasselhoff. :D

[funkytuba]

and if that comparison don't quite scan
momma's going to buy you a frying pan

[trisherina]

and if that frying pan goes cool
mama's gonna buy you a fireplace tool

[rapscalious rob]

and if that fireplace tool’s too hot
mama’s gonna buy you an apricot

[Clytie]

if that apricot decays
mommas gonna by you some fritolays

[zero]

and if you say well what the fvck's that
momas going to beat you with a baseball bat

[trisherina]

and if that baseball bat should snap
mama's gonna give you a case of clap

[lapietra]

and if that VD makes you barren
mama's gonna buy you doll named Darren

[Aphrodite]

And if that Darren becomes a different Darren
Mamma's gonna buy you a nice blue heron.

[Coffee]

And if that heron flies away
Moma's gonna buy you a loud blue jay

[rapscalious rob]

and if that blue jay is too loud
mama’s gonna buy you cirrus cloud

[funkytuba]

and if that cloud turns in to precipitation
momma's gonna buy you some meds for constipation

[rapscalious rob]

and if those meds for constipation don’t work well
mama’s gonna buy you some Taco Bell

[Spicy Jack]

and if that Taco Bell makes you runny
mama's gonna buy you a big fluffy bunny

[rapscalious rob]

and if that bunny’s hair comes loose
mama’s gonna buy you a Dr Suess

[Spicy Jack]

and if that Dr Seuss is totally wack
mamas gonna buy you some real good crack

[rapscalious rob]

and if that crack makes you lose your mind
mama’s gonna buy you a grapefruit rind

[Spicy Jack]

and if that grapefruit rind is bitter
mamas gonna dress you up in glitter

[rapscalious rob]

and if that glitter hurts your eyes
mama’s gonna buy you fluorescent dyes

[Spicy Jack]

and if those fluorescent dyes start to fade
mamas gonna make sure you get laid

[rapscalious rob]

and if that causes trouble ‘cause you have no hot dog
mama’s gonna buy you a big well-fed hog

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that well-fed hog don't oink
mama's gonna find you a friend to boink

[Aphrodite]

and if that friend won't boink enough
Mamma's gonna buy you a billy goat gruff

[Coffee]

and if that billy goat plays to rough
mama's gonna buy you some padded stuff.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that padded stuff's too soft
mama's gonna buy you an inner city loft

[zero]

and if that loft is oh-so trendy
mamas going change your name to wendy

[zero]

and if that new name doesnt suit you
mamas going to get some guy to shoot you

[funkytuba]

and if that hit man gets whacked by Vito
mama's gonna getcha a west-nile-infected-mosquito

[Spicy Jack]

and if that west-nile-infected-mosquito don't bite
mama's gonna buy you a rainbow kite

[Coffee]

And if that rainbow kite will not fly
moma will say fark it and go get high.

[Spicy Jack]

and if the chronic makes you eat
mama's gonna make you wash her feet

[Coffee]

and if momas feet give you system shock
mama's gonna buy you a strap on cock

[funkytuba]

and if that cock won't cock-a-doodle-doo
momma'll hire Poundstone to make fun of you

[Coffee]

And if Poundstone's jokes fall real flat
Moma's gonna buy you a hand made hat

[Spicy Jack]

and if that hat smells like a certain hippie
mamas gonna buy you a mouse named Skippy

[funkytuba]

and if Skippy gets his tail chopped off
mama's gonna buy you David Hasselhoff

[Coffee]

And if that David acts real bad
Moma's gonna give you away to Dad

[Spicy Jack]

and if your Dad is not worth a darn
mamas gonna decorate your hair with yarn

[Coffee]

and if that yarn makes your hair fall out
Moma's gonna blame you and jump and shout.

[Aphrodite]

And when her tantrum wears her out
Mamma's gonna buy you a horse named scout

[funkytuba]

and when that horse kicks you in the head
momma's gonna buy you a hospital bed

[Spicy Jack]

and if that hospital beds full of bugs
mamas gonna get you donald trumps rug

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that trumpish rug should shed
mama's gonna buy you a shrunken head

[lapietra]

and if that shrunken head is cursed
mama's gonna buy you a Gucci purse

[Coffee]

And if that Gucci purse is a fake.
Moma's gonna buy you a garden rake.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that Gucci purse is a chinese knock off
mama's gonna dance while she takes her frock off

[Hyakujo's Fox]

d'oh :rolleyes:

and if that garden rake gets broke
mama's gonna buy you a mini moke

[Spicy Jack]

and if you don't know what a mini moke is
mama's gonna buy you an old Coke with no fizz

[rapscalious rob]

and if that fizzless coke’s too sweet
mama’s gonna buy you the isle of Crete

[Spicy Jack]

and if that isle of Crete is boring
mama's gonna buy a sign with "No Mooring"

[Coffee]

And if your boat is left adrift
Moma's gonna buy you a slinky shift.

[Aphrodite]

and if that slinky shift gets torn
Mamma's gonna buy you a lot of............Corn:D

[Coffee]

and if that corn looks kind-a phallic
Moma's going on a date with Tom Sellick

[Spicy Jack]

and if Tom Sellick gets too fresh
mama's gonna go out wearing only mesh

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that mesh should start to cut
mama's gonna buy you a halibut

[zero]

and if that fish is a shark not a halibut
mama might say "you're gonna need a bigger boat"

[lapietra]

And if that bigger boat should leak
Mama's gonna buy you a naked geek

[rapscalious rob]

and if that naked geek is a little messy
mama’s gonna buy you a cow named bessy

[lapietra]

and if that cow named bessy makes pies
mama's gonna poke you in the eyes

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that poke in the eyes should blind
mama's gonna bring you an axe to grind

[Aphrodite]

and if that axe turns you Lizzy Borden
Mamma's gonna talk to your prison warden

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that prison warden won't pardon
mama's gonna catch you with your leotard on

[lapietra]

and if that leotard won't rip off
mama's gonna give you a nasty cough

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that nasty cough persists
mama's gonna join with the communists

[funkytuba]

and if commie mama don't provide according to your needs
daddy's gonna liquidate and give you the proceeds

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if those proceeds come to nought
mama's gonna buy you the supreme court

[funkytuba]

and if that court won't give you the election
momma's gonna give you a detailed inspection

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if for inspection, you fail to muster
mama's gonna bring out her feather duster

[funkytuba]

and if it turns out that that duster tickles
momma's gonna buy you some girthy pickles

[Smartypants]

and if those pickles your blue dress messen
mama's gonna give you a limerick lesson

[Avalon]

and if that limerick lesson you do fail
Smarty, I mean, momma's gonna send you off to jail

[Coffee]

and if you like being in jail to much
mama's gonna change your name to Butch

[Spicy Jack]

and if people make fun of your name
mama's gonna put you on stage with "Fame"

[lapietra]

and if pointe dancing breaks your toes
mama's gonna rent you a bunch of schmoes

[joppa.gal]

and if those shmoes' feet don't tap,
Papa's gonna bust a Vanilla Ice rap!

[Spicy Jack]

and if that Vanilla Rap ain't Phat
mamas gonna take you to Snoop Dogs flat

[Coffee]

And if snoop sneezes away all the coke
Moma's gonna buy you a pack of smokes

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that pack of smokes won't light
mama's gonna beat you in a bar room fight

[Spicy Jack]

and if you run away like a little bitch
mamas gonna rent you Lilo and Stitch

[Smartypants]

and if that video tape should jam
mama's gonna take you on the lam

[trisherina]

and if the feds should catch you short
mama's gonna see you when you're in court

[Smartypants]

and if you're sentenced to a ten-year hitch
mama's gonna make you her special bitch

[trisherina]

and if your special charms don't please
mama's gonna give you a bad disease

[Spicy Jack]

and if that disease give you oozing blisters
mamas gonna take you to see the three sisters

[Coffee]

And if you don't understand what your doing in a native american garden

Moma's gonna try to get you a prison pardon.

[Spicy Jack]

And if that pardon starts to plunder
mamas gonna get you a pet from down under

[Smartypants]

And if that dingo eats my baby, weep
cuz mama's gonna be played by Meryl Streep

[Coffee]

And if that Streep is to "good" for the part
Moma'll save bucks and hire an unknown tart.

[Spicy Jack]

And if that tart acts kind of sweet
mamas gonna throw down a funky hot beat

[joppa.gal]

And if that beat don't bust a move,
Mucha's gonna frame you in the Louve..

[Spicy Jack]

and if that frame doesn't match your shirt
mamas gonna soap you up with Pert

[joppa.gal]

and if that Pert leaves your head bare,
mama's gonna Will you her underwear.

*I don't know why it took me so long to catch the *mama* drift. I was thinking way outside the box.

[Avalon]

And if mama's underwear don't fit
she's gonna buy you Hasselhoff's car named Kit

[funkytuba]

and if your KITT has only one "T"
Momma's gonna buy you a cranberry

[Avalon]

And if your cranberry is to sour
Momma will make you watch Knight Rider by the hour
:p

[lapietra]

And if that Knight Rider makes you nuts,
mama's gonna take you to Pizza Hut.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

And if that Pizza Hut keeps you waitin'
mama's gonna give your cheese a gratin'

[Avalon]

And if you're in pain from a grating too fine,
Momma's gonna let you drink a glass of wine

[funkytuba]

and if that glass of wine tastes sour,
momma'll get a hotel room by the hour

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that hotel room is kinda smelly
mama's gonna buy you a new colour telly

[funkytuba]

and if that television breaks its tube
momma's gonna buy you some flavored lube

[joppa.gal]

And if that lube starts to smell real bad,
Mama's gonna buy you the latest fad

[funkytuba]

and if that fad gets a little less relevant
momma's gonna buy you a large white elephant

[Avalon]

And if that elephant goes poop,
Momma's gonna buy you a giant scoop

[funkytuba]

and if that scoop don't hold enough
momma's gonna buy you a big cream puff

[Coffee]

And if it turns out the puff is empty
Moma's gonna hit you like Jack Dempsey

[funkytuba]

and if that punch don't turn your head
momma's gonna buy you a ton of lead

[Coffee]

And if that lead should weigh you down
Moma's gonna rent you a a party clown

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if that clown turns kinda creepy
mama's gonna buy you an Indian teepee

[joppa.gal]

and if that teepee fills up with smoke,
Mama'll whip out her peace pipe stoked.

[dinzdale]

and if that peace pipe's full of dope
mamma's gonna buy you soap-on-a-rope

[Avalon]

And if that soap don't get you clean,
Momma's gonna buy you a dog that's mean

[joppa.gal]

And if that dog bites off your leg,
Mama's gonna replace it with a wooden peg

[Spicy Jack]

And if that peg makes you look like Capt. Hook,
mamas gonna call you a good for nuttin crook.

[Coffee]

And if you think that name sounds good
Moma's gonna mope and pout and brood.

[funkytuba]

and if sad momma don't make you care
momma's gonna get you 37 pieces of flair

[Spicy Jack]

and if that flair pokes your chest
mama's gonna buy you a birdie nest

[Aphrodite]

And if that bird nest falls apart
Mama's gonna buy you a buttertart

[joppa.gal]

and if that buttertart smears you in grease,
Mama's gonna buy you a fake hairpiece

[Coffee]

And if that hairpice is the wrong color
Moma's gonna buy you a coleman cooler

[Avalon]

And if that cooler doesn't cool
Momma's gonna send you to Military School

[mcnoo]

And if that school don't make you gay
mumma's gona buy you a bale of hay

[Coffee]

And if that hay should choke your horse
Moma's gonna blame you for it of course

[Avalon]

And if you get blamed for killing your pony
Momma's gonna feed you to a tiger named Tony

[dinzdale]

and if Tony Tiger plays too rough
mamma's gonna make you do bad stuff

[Spicy Jack]

and if that bad stuff includes whips and chains
mamas gonna feed you monkey brains

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if those monkey brains make you retch
mama's gonna buy you an etch-a-sketch

[Avalon]

and if your etch-a-sketch don't draw
Momma's gonna build you a house of straw

[Spicy Jack]

and if the house of straw's filled with pigs
mamas gonna make you cheese stuffed figs. :p

[Coffee]

And if those stuffed figs make you orgasm
Moma's epilepsy will cause her to spasm

[Spicy Jack]

and if that spasm shakes you up
mamas gonna buy you a fitted cup

[joppa.gal]

And if that cup makes your privates itch,
Mama's gonna sew a nice cross-stitch.

[funkytuba]

and if momma's cross stitch needles poke
momma's gonna buy you a kilo of coke

[Avalon]

And if that coke goes up your nose
then Momma's gonna beat you with a rubber hose

[Spicy Jack]

and if that hose squirts you in the face
mamas gonna buy you manites with lace

[Coffee]

And if those manties squeeze your balls
Moma's gonna stand you out in a squall

[funkytuba]

and if that squall leaves yer skin feeling leathery
momma's gonna buy you a boa all feathery

[Spicy Jack]

and if those feathers tickle your nose
mamas gonna buy you vibrating dildos

[Avalon]

And if that dildo it don't tickle
Momma's gonna buy you a girthy pickle

[Spicy Jack]

And if that pickle does more than please
Mamas gonna buy you some avacado trees.

[Coffee]

And if avacodos get under your feet
Mama's gonna pinch you on the teet.

[funkytuba]

and if that boob grab leaves you hanging
momma's gonna buy you a church bell clanging

[joppa.gal]

and if those bells make your ears lame,
Mama'll call the Hunchback of Notre Dame

[Aphrodite]

and if that hunchback rings your bell
Mamma's gonna send you straight to hell

[Avalon]

And if you find that hell's too hot
Momma's gonna buy you an army cot

[Coffee]

And if that cot's too hard to sleep
Moma'll tell you to go **** a sheep

[joppa.gal]

and if that lingo's a bit too rough,
Mama'll buy you some Red Man snuff

[Coffee]

And if that snuff should make you sneeze
Moma's gonna buy you artificial knees.

[joppa.gal]

and if those knees get torn and scraped,
mama's gonna whip you up la Francais Nuit Crepe...

[funkytuba]

and if you find that nut crepe noixious
mama's gonna buy you some red framboises

[Coffee]

and if you don't know what framboises are
Moma's gonna buy you a pickle jar.

[funkytuba]

and if that pickle jar breaks in two
momma's gonna send ya to timbuktu

[Hyakujo's Fox]

and if timbuktu's too hot and dusty
mama's gonna buy you a dog called rusty

[Avalon]

And if that dog should hump your leg,
Momma's gonna buy you a big beer keg

[funkytuba]

and if that keg of beer's all flat
mama's gonna buy you a laundromat

[Avalon]

and if that laundramat doesn't wash,
Momma's gonna make you eat some summer squash

[Audreyvgs]

and if that summer squash gets squished
momma's goanna rent you a chafing dish

[Avalon]

And if that chafing dish you break
Momma's gonna send you to visit Snake:p

[Spicy Jack]

and if mrs. Snake should rip you a new one
mamas gonna buy you a hot glue gun

[Coffee]

And if you glue your hands together
moma's gona buy you something sexy in leather.

[Avalon]

And if that leather's too hot to wear
Momma's gonna buy you some 80's hair

[Audreyvgs]

And if that 80's hair's too stiff,
momma's goanna buy you a jamaican spliff

[Spicy Jack]

and if that spliff makes you forget
mama's gonna get you a red corvette

[Avalon]

And if in that 'Vette you act like James Dean
Momma's gonna get you a brand new spleen

[Klynne]

And if that spleen doesn't do its job
Momma's gonna order a hit from the mob

[Coffee]

And if those cement shoes are'nt a hit
Mama's gonna pout and throw a hissy fit.

[Spicy Jack]

And if that hissy fit lasts long
Mama's gonna buy you a big rubber schlong

[Magpie]

If that schlong begins to loll,
Mama's gonna buy you a blow up doll

[Coffee]

And if that doll develops a leak
Moma's gonna toss you in creek

[funkytuba]

and if that creek should be all stagnant
momma's gonna buy you an electromagnet

[Avalon]

And if that magnet has no pull,
Momma's gonna dress you like a fool

[joppa.gal]

and if your duds make people laugh,
Mama's gonna grab you Kerry's autograph

[Coffee]

And if you get a signed blank check.
Momma'll go to the mall and the economy wreck.

[Coffee]

and if that check no one will cash.
Moma's back on Monday slinging hash.

[Klynne]

And if corned beef is not your thing
Momma WILL buy you a diamond ring

[Coffee]

And if that diamond ring is glass
Moma's gonna kick the jewlers ass.

[Avalon]

And when that jeweler's ass is sore
Momma's gonna go to a liquor store

[funkytuba]

and if that liquor store's been looted
momma's gonna get you all polluted

[Coffee]

And if you become a superfund site
Momma will sweep you out of sight.

[funkytuba]

and if you end up under the rug
momma's gonna buy you a girthy butt plug

[Spicy Jack]

an if that plug gets lost and costly
mama's gonna buy you a colostomy.

[Avalon]

And if that bag gets big and heavy,
Momma's gonna buy you a brand new Chevy

[Klynne]

And if the engine 's shot to hell
Mommas going to ring the dealer's bell

[Coffee]

and if that dinner gets too cold
Momas gonna tell a joke that's old

[funkytuba]

and if that old joke knocks em dead
momma's gonna buy you a hooker's bed

[Avalon]

And if that bed is soiled and smelly
Momma's gonna buy you some Smucker's jelly

[joppa.gal]

And if that jelly gets all over your face,
Mama's gonna buy you some Elmer's paste

[lapietra]

And if you eat that paste all up
Mama's gonna buy you a moustache cup

[dinzdale]

And if that cup begins to spill
Momma's gonna put you on the pill

[Avalon]

And if that pill should fail to work,
Momma's gonna hunt down that dead beat jerk

[dinzdale]

And if that dead beat runs away
Momma's gonna buy you a bale of hay

[Avalon]

And if that hay should make you sneeze
Momma's gonna leave ya hangin' in the breeze

[dinzdale]

And if you hang there till you dry
Momma's gonna stick her finger in your eye

[Avalon]

and if your eye gets infected and yucky
Momma's gonna send you to Kentucky

[dinzdale]

and if Kentucky makes you sick
Momma's gonna smack you with a stick

[Spicy Jack]

and if Kentucky is overrated
mamas gonna get your puppy castrated

[Coffee]

and if that puppy still humps your leg
Moma's gonna buy you a fat beer keg

[Avalon]

And if that keg should spring a leak
Momma's gonna hire you a circus freak

[Coffee]

And if that freak should make you sick
Moma's gonna buy you a latex dick

[Avalon]

And if that dick makes you sore
Momma's gonna take you to the Rite-aid store

[Coffee]

And if Rite Aid is out of lube.
Moma's gonna buy you a big ice cube.

[Klynne]

And if that ice cube don't melt
Momma's gonna buy you a bolt of felt

[Avalon]

And if that felt, you can't cut
Momma's gonna kick you in the butt

[Gatsby]

And if your butt gets sore and red
Momma'l just knock you upside the head