SPAM ME!!!!!!!!!!!

[agentsmith]

hit me with the best you've got. david hasselhof, absolute nonsense, random lyrics, news no one cares about, pictures of your stupid cat, whatever. dont just piss in my sandbox, piss all over it.


of course i'll spam away with my jrockers, as usual.


LETS BEGIN

[Coffee]

Would you like to buy a hat?

[bealeblues]

didn't you just describe the whole fast chat forum?

[agentsmith]

yes, coffee, i would.


can i pay with this?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v256/mordredfalling/fm0402-05.jpg

[zenbabe]

http://www.mollen.net/hasselhoff%20swings.gif

[Coffee]

Sure...heres your change.

http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/2_05/hasselllarge3.jpg

[Willow Sylph]

This is the most important website you'll ever come across, Agent...
.RRR (http://www.cutofcloth.com/article_clothpads_doityourself.asp)
"With minimal supplies and about an hour of your time you, too, can be prepared each month. Your husband will really appreciate it!"

Oh, and please send this link to ten other friends within one hour, or you will have bad luck the rest of your life.






:p

[agentsmith]

Originally posted by Willow Sylph
This is the most important website you'll ever come across, Agent...
.RRR (http://www.cutofcloth.com/article_clothpads_doityourself.asp)
"With minimal supplies and about an hour of your time you, too, can be prepared each month. Your husband will really appreciate it!"

Oh, and please send this link to ten other friends within one hour, or you will have bad luck the rest of your life.






:p


"To wash, I rinse them out in the sink and then launder with the rest of the clothing."


what a truly DISGUSTING idea.

good SPAM though.

[agentsmith]

Originally posted by Coffee
Sure...heres your change.

http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/2_05/hasselllarge3.jpg

my god...PLEASE keep the change. PLEASE!

[Willow Sylph]

But your future husband would really appreciate it! :(





:D

[Willow Sylph]

Originally posted by Coffee
Sure...heres your change.

http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/2_05/hasselllarge3.jpg Is he beginning to get that 1940's Tarzan/Muscle Man physique?! (Don't tell Frieda I said that!)

[Smartypants]

Originally posted by Willow Sylph
This is the most important website you'll ever come across, Agent...
.RRR (http://www.cutofcloth.com/article_clothpads_doityourself.asp)


I think if you're going to sell minstrel pads, you should learn how to spell "minstrel."

http://gameshowutopia.tripod.com/minstrel.jpg

[Willow Sylph]

Submitted as an example:
http://www.mathcs.duq.edu/~racicot/pics/tarzan.jpg

[agentsmith]

Originally posted by Willow Sylph
But your future husband would really appreciate it! :(





:D


my future husband will not be allowed in the house very often, so i doubt pads in the trash will trouble him much.

[Willow Sylph]

Originally posted by Smartypants
I think if you're going to sell minstrel pads, you should learn how to spell "minstrel."

http://gameshowutopia.tripod.com/minstrel.jpg ROFL!!! Aaw, come on Pa! She don't mean no harm in it.

[Coffee]

The article (http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/ 2_05/hasselhoff.html) that accompanied the photo above:


David Hasselhoff Exhales, German Stock Market Plunges.

DUSSELDORF—The German financial market took another major blow Wednesday when David Hasselhoff accidentally unclenched his stomach muscles during a press conference promoting Fox's upcoming "Baywatch Hawaiian Wedding."

The move sent leaders scrambling as German stocks plummeted during afternoon trading. The impact could be felt throughout Western Europe as the Euro fell to new lows after news of the incident spread.

"This will undeniably affect our economy in the days and weeks to come." Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder said after an emergency meeting with his financial ministers. "I know it will be difficult but we have to pick up the pieces and get through this the best way we can."

Hasselhoff, the former star of hit television shows "Knight Ryder" and "Baywatch" had been preparing for months for his February 28th special Baywatch reunion and decided to spend a few extra days in Germany to promote his greatest hits CD when he suddenly lost control of his abdominal muscles, something he says hasn't happened in public since 1986. And never in Germany.

"Look I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just couldn't hold it in any longer," Hasselhoff, 50, explained to hundreds of teary eyed fans as he got into his limo headed for the airport. "Ich liebe dich Deutschland! I love Germany!" said Hasselhoff as teens pelted his limo with eggs and bratwurst.

Hasselhoff, despite being an American B-list actor, had obtained icon status as a pop singer in Germany, where he had become a symbol of the reunified country’s obsession with California tans and surgically-enhanced breasts. Now, because of his man breast, Germany appears to be at the onset of an economic tailspin not seen since the days before Hitler's rise to power.

It remains to be seen whether Germany will be more hated for it's Nazi past or allowing David Hasselhoff to record a greatest hits album.

[zenbabe]

Originally posted by Willow Sylph
This is the most important website you'll ever come across, Agent...
.RRR (http://www.cutofcloth.com/article_clothpads_doityourself.asp)
"With minimal supplies and about an hour of your time you, too, can be prepared each month. Your husband will really appreciate it!"

Oh, and please send this link to ten other friends within one hour, or you will have bad luck the rest of your life.






:p


gross!!!! I can just imagine looking out at my neighbors yard and seeing a bunch of stained pads line drying....nice...

[rmr]

do you want a larger p****?

[lapietra]

Hot teenage girls who will increase your penis size by selling you cheap meds from Canada that will melt the pounds off with no dieting and no strenuous exercise! Results GUARANTEED!!!

FREE* for a limited time!!!


click here for more info (http://www.spam.com/)










*Offer requires credit card. You only pay $14.95
shipping and handling. Only available to left-handed
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St. Swithen's day of every third year.

[agentsmith]

Originally posted by Coffee
The article (http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/ 2_05/hasselhoff.html) that accompanied the photo above:


David Hasselhoff Exhales, German Stock Market Plunges.

DUSSELDORF—The German financial market took another major blow Wednesday when David Hasselhoff accidentally unclenched his stomach muscles during a press conference promoting Fox's upcoming "Baywatch Hawaiian Wedding."

The move sent leaders scrambling as German stocks plummeted during afternoon trading. The impact could be felt throughout Western Europe as the Euro fell to new lows after news of the incident spread.

"This will undeniably affect our economy in the days and weeks to come." Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder said after an emergency meeting with his financial ministers. "I know it will be difficult but we have to pick up the pieces and get through this the best way we can."

Hasselhoff, the former star of hit television shows "Knight Ryder" and "Baywatch" had been preparing for months for his February 28th special Baywatch reunion and decided to spend a few extra days in Germany to promote his greatest hits CD when he suddenly lost control of his abdominal muscles, something he says hasn't happened in public since 1986. And never in Germany.

"Look I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just couldn't hold it in any longer," Hasselhoff, 50, explained to hundreds of teary eyed fans as he got into his limo headed for the airport. "Ich liebe dich Deutschland! I love Germany!" said Hasselhoff as teens pelted his limo with eggs and bratwurst.

Hasselhoff, despite being an American B-list actor, had obtained icon status as a pop singer in Germany, where he had become a symbol of the reunified country’s obsession with California tans and surgically-enhanced breasts. Now, because of his man breast, Germany appears to be at the onset of an economic tailspin not seen since the days before Hitler's rise to power.

It remains to be seen whether Germany will be more hated for it's Nazi past or allowing David Hasselhoff to record a greatest hits album.

i want to pelt him with eggs and bratwurst too!

[Willow Sylph]

Originally posted by agentsmith
i want to pelt him with eggs and bratwurst too! But in a very loving way, right? Right?! (Agent, Frieda might be watching :eek: )

[agentsmith]

oh yes, in the most loving way i know how...


*hides chainsaw behind back*

[agentsmith]

Artist: L'Arc~en~Ciel
Title: Shinshoku (Corrosion) ~Lose Control
Words: Hyde
Music: Ken

I lose control
my heart skipping a beat
touched by a gentle wind, i look up at heaven
I lose control
going to be shut off
even you don't recognize that
I'm on the verge of breaking.
good morning mr. fear.

What stimulates me are scars I've lost
this body will be taken from me Ah
A sun that's burning out, shadows stained black
its too late to stop it, don't let go Ah.

I lose Control
In a season that's become spring-like
still adolescent eyes fear the final curtain
I lose Control
fluttering butterflies are caught and pinned down.
good morning mr. fear

What stimulates me are scars I've lost
I can't even control my arms Ah
A sun that's burning out, shadows stained black
When I noticed this I laughed.

I died then my instinct was born

[sparticle]

I am a diplomatic liason with the American Consulate in Zimbabwe. An American corporation has left in our Treasury a large unclaimed sum of money. I am authorized to share it with you, but you must send me a deposit of earnest money in the amount of One Thousand Dollars first. Your cashier's cheque in the amount of Five Million American Dollars will be issued to you immediately.

Thank you sincerely, and God bless you,

Samuel Ogondawu

Zimbabwean Ambassador to Iowa

[Coffee]

**Coffee's Weekly Stock Report**

*This Month's Companies to Watch*

Huge Trading Alert for Sports Pouch Beverage Co Inc (SPBV.PK)

SPBV-SPBV-SPBV

Current Price : $2.25
3-5 Days target: $3.50
2 Weeks Target: $5.00


Sports Pouch Beverage Co Inc (SPBV.PK) - BIG PROFITS EXPECTED IN THIS ONE !!!

The stock is expected to explode on Monday and good news is expected in short term future! Be the first to jump on board!!

Significant short term trading profits in SPBV are being predicted, great news expected by the company and big PR campaign on the way in the next few days.



The Company

Though the product tastes good, Sports Pouch's true advantage lies in its packaging. Where the consumer is frustrated with opening a pouch beverage (i.e., Capri sun), Sports Pouch comes with a pull-push spout that reseals its container.

With pull-push spout pouch technology, consumer use problems with pouch beverage packaging are eliminated; i.e., difficulty and spillage when opening, loss of straw resulting in an inability to use the pouch and inability to reseal the beverage pouch.

Customer surveys taken in Southern California have indicated strong consumer demand for a new aseptic beverage fortified with vitamins and minerals. With automated beverage filling equipment and spout technology controlled by Sports Pouch Beverage Company, Inc., the company is in position to provide the marketplace both as a manufacturer and a co-packer, a consumer friendly beverage pouch package at a competitive price with attractive profitability.

With the combination of next generation pouch packaging technology, co-packing manufacturing, new brand beverage line and established beverage distribution contacts, Sports Pouch Company, Inc. is positioned to provide the marketplace with advance beverage pouch packaging and a new brand beverage at competitive pricing while allowing for attractive profit margins and strong growth potential.



Competitive Advantage

Though Sports Pouch has a terrific product and important industry contacts selling into a $1.0 Billion segment of the beverage market, its unique packaging gives it a truly overwhelming competitive advantage.

The most important competitors, Capri Sun, Minute Maid, Kool Aid, Hi c, Disney, Libby's, and Tree Top, all place their drinks into a "straw and pouch" packages. As parents know, this form of packaging ha several drawbacks:

* Oftentimes, it is difficult to insert the straw into the package without spillage.
* Straws for each drink are not always attached to each individual package. It's frustrating and wasteful when only 6 or 7 straws are attached on an 8 pack of drinks.
* If the straw is lost while drinking, you are unable to finish the beverage.
* You can't reseal the package and leave it for several hours to finish it later.

Using Sports Pouch's patented "pull-push" spout system, these problems disappear. These spouts look much like the spouts used to reseal bottled water. Water typically is enclosed in plastic, hard framed bottles and comes in larger sizes (typically 16 ozs). Sports Pouch's juices come in the traditional juice sized 6.75 oz package, the correct size for a child's drink. The resealing technology creates a much more user-friendly package. The consumer can easily close and re-open the pouch container while also not requiring an external device, the straw, to drink the beverage.

[agentsmith]

hey, who needs a straw to drink capri sun? not i. i poke the hole and then squirt the contents into my waiting mouth.

[Coffee]

Originally posted by agentsmith
i poke the hole and then squirt the contents into my waiting mouth.

ROFL....Holy fark...you don't even have to change a word and it is still funny and suggestive as hell. :D

[funkytuba]

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[trisherina]

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The degrees awarded are non-accredited from an academic point of view, you will however be able to use them in your chosen career field, seek for new jobs or gain promotion. Awards can also be granted for the purpose of honoring those who exemplify the ideals of Higher Education through their significant achievements and contributions to business and society in their respective geographic area. For a Doctorate or Masters of Business Administration, a previous university education MAY NOT BE REQUIRED for persons with extensive experience in any field related to civil service, business administration, management, finance, healthcare, military, etc.

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The more degrees you have the better your chances and prospects in life. That is the way life is. It is a competitive world. Don't delay to contact us today.

To stop future solicitation visit here

[agentsmith]

Originally posted by Coffee
ROFL....Holy fark...you don't even have to change a word and it is still funny and suggestive as hell. :D

i honestly wasnt even thinking when i wrote that.

[funkytuba]

My lozenge is an all earthy herbal pills
containing a salmagundi of grasses known for encouraging sexual
desire and fulfilment. By victimisation this pills you
should experience an increase in sexual craving, an amelioration
in your volume and performance, besides as increased energy
and joy during sexual action.

[agentsmith]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v256/mordredfalling/080.jpg

[daverbee]

[IMG]http://cfa-www.harvard.edu/~mphelps/images/spam.JPG Spam.

[Clytie]

mmmmmmm spam

“The sun was shining, this place was shining, and everyone in this place was shining,” exclaimed Pat Warner, Associate Hospital Director, late Monday afternoon at the first institutional debriefing of this year’s JCAHO survey.

In all, first-day reports on our performance are very positive, with comments from all the JCAHO surveyors about the excellent facilities, staff and patient care they have seen so far. From a brand-new nurse to a veteran staff member, our employees gave responses that impressed the surveyors tremendously.

A number of units received visits from surveyors and their U-M escorts starting early this morning and continuing through late afternoon. Areas visited included clinics in the Cancer Center and Geriatric Center; the Mott Hospital pre-op area and operating room; the Cardiac Procedures Unit; many units of University Hospital; the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry inpatient unit; the OB/GYN, Pediatrics and Kellogg outpatient clinics and Kellogg OR; and Home Care. Using JCAHO’s new methodology, the surveyors “traced” many patients’ records, examining all aspects of their U-M care.

Even as the surveyors roamed our facilities, “sweep” teams of UMHHC pros checked every nook and cranny of places they might appear next. The sweep teams reported back to the UMHHC JCAHO Command Center about key issues that might trip us up during the next four days. The surveyors’ U-M escorts also reported comments they heard during the day. The result is a “Top 10” list of issues for all of us to heed.

And now, with apologies to David Letterman, here is today’s Top 10 List of Potential JCAHO Compliance Issues:

10: Rx for script pad security - From the pockets of lab coats hanging in the operating room area, to staff rooms in the clinics, please make sure all prescription pads are kept in secure, locked areas.

9: Be sharp about sharps - Sweep teams noted numerous locations in many facilities where sharps were not kept in secure locations. Keep them locked or under constant observation, and after they’re used, dispose of them in red sharps containers!

8: Expired and loose medications - Check your entire medication supply, and remove any expired meds immediately. Also, be sure to secure loose medications in patient rooms and medication rooms.

7: Safety needles are only safe if you use them - Both sweep teams and JCAHO surveyors noted occasions where non-safety needles were being used when safety needles were available.

6: Open-door policy for patient information? - Sweep teams saw patient information being temporarily stored in staff rooms and conference rooms that had unlocked doors. If you have records, keep them behind closed, and locked, doors!

5: Overflowing recycling bins - Recycling is great, but we need to make sure those blue bins are emptied often, and that those with locks are locked.

4: Badge of honor - Believe it or not, there were still some employees spotted without their ID badges. If you see someone without their badge displayed above their waist, stop and gently remind them that it’s crucial to wear it during JCAHO time - and all the time!

3: Handy-dandy - Be sure to remove your gloves and wash your hands when leaving a patient’s room or other clinical area. If you spot someone who has forgotten, please remind them.

2: Clean up the cleaning carts - Especially in pediatric and psychiatric areas, but everywhere else too, make sure the chemicals on housekeeping carts are locked away. A JCAHO surveyor noted this issue.

1: Signed, sealed, delivered - Numerous history & physical (H&P) forms and consent forms were noted to be missing or unsigned. Please check records in your area, locate H&P forms, and page the relevant clinician if you find one that’s unsigned!

We have four days to go, but so far we’re doing extremely well. Keep up the good work!






ALL: The CPR committee is currently looking to purchase new defibrillators for all of UHMS. Here is an opportunity to offer your feedback on which defibrillator our institution should go with.
On Monday, 11/15, there will be a defibrillator equipment demonstration in Towsley from 7 AM to 9 PM. Please go down to view these different models, and complete a survey/offer feedback on them (your name is then entered to win one of three door prizes).

[Frieda]

click (http://www.lik-sang.com/info.php?category=75&products_id=6041&)

not sure in which language you guys get this