attention newbies

[agentsmith]

introduce yourselves to me so that the asskicking can begin!

[red]

*sniff*
it's so good to see you.

[Klynne]

I lurves my Agent! And I know she hates the word "Lurves".

[amanda]

now, is the asskicking only a private party or can anyone play?

because there are some noob bums that I've been eyeing for a good solid kick for months now.

[lapietra]

I think we should throw some old wrinkly ones in for good measure. ;)

[amanda]

whatchu talkin' about, willis?

[funkytuba]

oops... I think we made too much fun of them.

[amanda]

sigh. such tender heinies.

[agentsmith]

haha 7 replies and no newbies to be seen.

[JesusTitties]

im a ****ing newbie
make fun of me

[agentsmith]

you have a hairy back.

[JesusTitties]

you're too young to be on this website

[moel]

hi i'm moel

hi

[xfox]

hi moel.

Do you have an ass left to kick, or have you worked it all off this summer?

[agentsmith]

missed you, moel.

[zenbabe]

welcome back agent, hot enough for you today?

[lapietra]

oh wow... both the agent and moel in the span of one week... *heart swells*

[rmr]

hi i'm moel

hi

hi i'm rmr

thanks.

[craig johnston]

thanks rmr. very nice of you.

[jasmina]

I'm new. Go ahead. Do your best.

[rmr]

hi -- do you trust me enough to pm me nekkid pictures of yourself? on second thought -- fax them to me -- pm me and i'll give you my number

^^ oh and welcome

[craig johnston]

hey, just post them here. save time.
:)

[jasmina]

hey, just post them here. save time.
:)

But you told me to send them directly to you - oh wait - was that a SCAM?????

[rmr]

^^ the true test of any relationship is whether or not you can fax nekkid pictures to one another. go ahead and do it. you can trust him

[jasmina]

^^ the true test of any relationship is whether or not you can fax nekkid pictures to one another. go ahead and do it. you can trust him

Oh I trusted him alright. But when he said his fax number was 666, I have to admit, alarm bells started ringing.

[rmr]

you're one smart cookie i can tell

good for you -- craig t. nelson can be quite the fooler if you catch my drift ;)

[Gatsby]

Am I new? Sometimes I feel like it. I never know what the hell is going on. :cool:

[jasmina]

Am I new? Sometimes I feel like it. I never know what the hell is going on. :cool:

Does that mean we can still ass kick you then?
I'll just go get my special shoes then...recommended by my Doctor

http://im.edirectory.co.uk/products/1602/i/drmartens1940zblackfinehaircell6298l.jpg

[craig johnston]

Am I new? Sometimes I feel like it. I never know what the hell is going on. :cool:


me neither, and least of all when rmr is talking about me.

:confused:

[Brynn]

You both might as well be the Matriarch and Patriarch compared to me.

[Brynn]

I'm so new that I just posted again to make the number go up on my "posts" counter.

[Brynn]

Okay everybody - I just passed "650" !!! :eek: Do I get anything????

[Brynn]

Here's #652.

[Brynn]

#653. Hey, I could do this all night.

[Brynn]

#654. that's what this thread is for, right?

[Brynn]

#655 (yawn)

[Brynn]

#656 Okay, now I've got to go up to a nice round number now that I've gotten this far.

[Brynn]

#657 I'm not deluding myself to think this is even an original thing to do.

[Brynn]

#658 Why even write anything? We all know what I'm doing.

[Brynn]

#659 Never post when you are H igh, A ngry, L ate, or T ired.

[Brynn]

#660 Okay, now I'm happy. I think I was seized with a small case of OCD there.
I'll have to plan something very special over in the Christianity Discussion thread for my 666th post later.

[jasmina]

#654. that's what this thread is for, right?

Nope - I think you're getting this thread confused with the A to C thread

[Brynn]

Well, I really wanted to post over in the Numbers thread, but I was too lazy to look for actual pictures.

[Brynn]

Damn. #662. I may have to start over again.

[Brynn]

#663. thanks Jasmina. Now look what you've done! :p

[jasmina]

My motives may not be entirely pure either..... oops look there's another one!

[Brynn]

http://www.aaroadtrips.com/virginia200/i-664_sb_end_via_i-264.jpg

[jasmina]

wrong thread! Oh look - it appears I just posted again!

[Brynn]

http://artists.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/665/images/lg-169033.jpg
Dang! I'd like a cupcake with a candle in it or something. And someone to sing Happy 665th post to you,
Happy 665th post to you,
You look like a ZeMonkey,
And you write like one t---
(sobs)
Oh nevermind!

Oh look Jasmina - it's your 265th post!
Here's a cupcake. And a candle. Happy 265th post, baby!

[jasmina]

Dang! I'd like a cupcake with a candle in it or something. And someone to sing Happy 665th post to you,
Happy 665th post to you,
You look like a ZeMonkey,
And you write like one t---
(sobs)
Oh nevermind!

Oh look Jasmina - it's your 265th post!
Here's a cupcake. And a candle. Happy 265th post, baby!

Thanks!
(by the way - editing posts??!! That's just pure waste! You could have RE-posted and racked up another one!)

[craig johnston]

http://www.lindqvist.com/kitSiPub/bilder/20030820165122.jpg

[jasmina]

http://www.lindqvist.com/kitSiPub/bilder/20030820165122.jpg
Mmmm! Delicious!

[craig johnston]

you don't really like it, do you?

[jasmina]

err.... um....... DAMN IT NO I DON'T

You rascal you caught me out. You just wait till Brynn gets back.

[craig johnston]

well i can keep you talking until then.

would you like to discuss your 'spam' problem in the therapy thread?

[jasmina]

You just want to flirt with me again don't you?

[craig johnston]

i am constantly flirting with everyone.
i'm a total slapper like that...
;)

[Con ate dog]

Howdy, Agent Smith! I'm Con, reporting back from vacation.

















Well?

[Brynn]

where did you go? Seems like you already live some place exotic. Something more upscale? I'm picturing this for your vacation:

http://lib1.store.vip.sc5.yahoo.com/lib/randalls/cabanastrawberry.jpg

[Brynn]

Note to Craig - that was my 680th post, Spam-Boy :p

[Con ate dog]

Thanks for asking, Brynn. I got offered a job at twice the salary: I moved promptly, and am now a kindergarten teacher for the children of wealthy expats.

I guess I should update the ol' profile...

[Sapphire]

Noob here, let the asskickings begin -bending over-

Hi, I'm Sapphire - yes, really - my parents were wannabe hippies and thought "Sapphire" was a "far out" name. Staunch republicans that they grew to be, they ended up horrified when I became a hippy on their behalf. :D

My husband and kids are hippies too - quite proud of my whole brood, actually.

Getting all the potentially asskick-worthy stuff out of the way:

I'm bisexual, but monogamous. If you don't understand that the two are not mutually exclusive, ask. I won't bite unless you beg, and even then, you have to beg REALLY well. :cool:

I fully support (and demand, actually) total and complete equality for GLBTs. It shames me that my country has not moved out of the stone age on this issue.

I live in occupied America. It has become my life's purpose to see the Dicktator-in-Thief impeached and prosocuted for high crimes and treason.

I am pro-choice but anti-capital punishment. And yes, I do sleep well at night, thank you.

I am spiritual, not religious. I think God/Universe/Life/Deity got short changed when S/He allowed others to speak on His/Her behalf. If you've ever read books along the lines of "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein, and "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsch, you probably have a pretty good grasp of my spiritual beliefs.

I'm a volunteer Project Coordinator for a global non-profit. I spend some 80+ hours a week on that, and I really enjoy my work. Unlike most corporate project managers, however, I actually do the work myself rather than delegating to others and taking the credit. I'm also one of two IT/Web Coordinators for the United States branch of our organization.
Link is in my profile under "fav url" if you're interested.

And now for the most important part - I LOVE Ze Frank! I use "Stumble Upon" when I'm bored and have repeatedly "stumbled upon" a number of Ze's creations - the other night, I "stumbled" here and knew I had to sign up. I liked what I saw and have really enjoyed reading up on some of the discussions here. Most of the forums I've posted on in the past have either been "strictly spiritual" in nature or "strictly political" in nature - it's nice to find a community that sort of spans the spectrum.

The asskickings may now commence. :cool:

[rmr]

hi

[trisherina]

mmm (http://kpftx.org/)

[rmr]

^^ you want christopher hitchens to hold you, don't you trish?

[trisherina]

I really, really, really do.

Can you arrange that?

I couldn't do it myself. It's a self-esteem issue. Sorry.

vaginas with teeth (http://slate.msn.com/id/2126121/)

[rmr]

sure

no problem -- i'll have my people get in touch with his people

bet his fingers are yellow and reek of tobacco

[trisherina]

It's not his fingers I'm interested in.

Even so, that sounds appealing.