OK EVERYBODY, IT'S

[rmr]

BUNS OF STEEL 0r Steal (whichever you desire) time.

And a stretch and a pull and a lift and bend, again.

Dinz, has your back end healed yet???

[dinzdale]

Ready to go over her Rimsey !!!

Got my spandex pants on, so no worries about fall-out today...

Lets go...and a-one , and a-two, and push that toosh.....

[rmr]

Bend, Bend, pull, pull, ok tighten.....man I'm getting tired.

It's quite exhausting trying to win your affections, Dinzy!!!

But I promise I'm going to get that bum for you.


PS Do you mind if I smoke while I'm doing this??

[dinzdale]

I thought that was smoke...oh it's just a little steam.....
yeah go ahead and light 'em up if you got 'em.....

Clench up.....clench down.....left one up.....

[rmr]

That wasn't smoke or steam -- these exercises get to me sometimes, oh well,
Thanks I light up, (HUGE PUFF), I'm doing the Mrs Dinz # 5 move right now.

Side to side, up down, over out, clench, retract!!!

[dinzdale]

I like the way your dog's nose follows you around......

....Okay, time for a breather and some pelvic floor stuff...I'll just sit here and punch out a few kegels.....
......inhale.......exhale......inhale.......exhale .....
.inhale..COUGH..HACK...wheeze.........inhale...... exhale....
.(pfffftt)...inhale....(phew).....exhale....(sorry )........inhale..
(whooh)......exhale......inhale.......(open a window Rimmer dear).....exhale......

[rmr]

I'm having beer while I do this stuff.

Hack - Snort - slurp.........

Time for some burpies and up and woops (****large belch****)

Dinz -- I think I'm going to do the bicycle now

riding, riding, riding (smoke hanging out the side of my mouth)



I can't understand why everyone here at work is looking at me funny????

[dinzdale]

They just dont understand "No Pain, No Perky Butt Cheeks"...

....here let me share the ashtray...(thanks)....puff, pant..

.....Hey, it's not just your co-workers, the Ze-monkeys seem slow to join ....I guess they think they're god's gift or something....

....HEY MONKEYS !! Get down here and Rimmercize......

....another beer..2..3. ,
.... another smoke..2..3,
..... pull in those buns....whoah killer shape coming there Rims !!

[RuneT]

you have seen my bum, I'ts perfect! Why bother?
OK, I'll do it for maintenance sake then!

aaaone
aaatwo
aaathree

[dinzdale]

You call that "perfect"????

It may do alright in Norway sonny boy, but we're looking for industrial size and shapes here. I mean walnut-cracking, car door slammin', butt cheeks from Heck.....

Now grab a beer, a ciggy and work that non-existant pant filler ...
....here, have a Krispy Kreme.....

ah 1
ah 2
ah 3
ahhhhhh.......

[RuneT]

hnnnnnnnnnnnnngh!

hnnnnnnnnnnnnngh!

no. not even a litle crack in the walnut.

ok, lets get rolling.

got a light there, pal?

aaaone.....

[rmr]

I got a light - here!!

I'm eating a hot dog as I do sit-ups, this stuff is making me hungry.

Anyone up for shots???

[RuneT]

thanks rimmy. bum shot, no, anything other than that, yes indeedey. you don't mind that i butt in here do you?

[rmr]

Not all Runey,

Glad to see ya. Sorry I'm a bit sweaty, I think the booze is begining to evaporate or something.

In honor of that wise man that I quote on the bottom, let's do jagie's you in dinz?

I'm trying to do the splits, but the damn cigarette smoke keeps gettin in my eyes.

[Red Princess]

OH MY GOD! i stumbled into a gym, get me out of heeerreeee......*runs screaming to the door*

[rmr]

No, stay join us, we're about to start our step class and I'm about to open a bottle of boones farm. Care for some??

(HACHAHA -- Shite I had to clear my throat)

[Red Princess]

no thanks, the only steely thing on me is my steely blue eyes and i plan to keep it that way. i'll take the boone's farm though....

[rmr]

Great do you mind keeping count? I'm a little buzzed and I keep repeating the same number.

Here (***Clincks Glasses) - BOTTOMS UP!!!

God, I'm so funny

[Red Princess]

one, two , three, five, ten, four, oh crap, one , two..

[RuneT]

Whas that my que?
Look! spanking new spandex! (wiggle, wiggle and doing my usual silly dance)
1 more week of training and I think that we are ready for the walnut crack test.

make some space, or get ready to be intimate! weeeeeee for all of you , cmon 1, 2, 3, 4, breathe breathe, the, breathe, atomic weight of, breathe breathe, iron is, breathe, 56...

[rmr]

Hello Rune and how might you be doing today???

Well I am almost ready for the walnut.....I'm clenching my butt as I type!!!

[RuneT]

i'm all craparuney today, but a little white fella in my head told me that exersise would help.

[Red Princess]

I am very Lunar today, a raging crazy person look out, lets throw all the glasses into the fireplace as we empty them of vodka

[rmr]

What a wonderful idea!!!

I'm thinking of throwing about everything in sight into the fireplace........but I'll start with a glass

(((((((((((SHATTERS(((((((((((((

I find this particullary (or however you spell it) because Led Zepper is playing in the backgroud (Misty Mountain). I feel so rock star crazy.

Happy Friday to EVERYONE.

[Red Princess]

Good. i hate all this ugly furniture anyway *throws ugly chair into the fire*

[rmr]

Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger

I WANT A CHEESBURGER SO BAD RIGHT NOW.


i'm hung over

[dinzdale]

Who's your daddy now ?

Morning,
Rimmer-Babe, I too have a serious hangover, and I'm going to have a chili burger in 10 minutes...and beer........
You can do it girl, you know it makes sense........

[bealeblues]

hair of the dog, baby, hair of the dog....

wait, is that how all the hair got on the floor of the Z-M bar?

[rmr]

Oh my god, that sounds so good!! Chili Cheeseburger!!

YOU ARE MY DADDY DINZ!!!

So the long short of it is....I was trying to prove to myself I could have a cocktail and ended up with the rug pulled out from under me....damn!!!

[Red Princess]

*more furniture going into the fire* one of you guys want to give me a hand with this couch?

[rmr]

I'm sorry (((((((LIFTING UP MY END OF THE SOFA((((((((((((((((((

Ugh that f'ers heavy


R.P. I feel like we should be singing a song while were doing this, what do you think what should our anthem be.

I was thinking teenage wasteland.

Beale: that's not hair of the dog on the floor, it's hair of something quite different.

[Red Princess]

i come home in the morning light, my mother says when you gonna live your life right? oh mamma dear we're not the fortunate ones and girls they wanna have fun, oh, girls just wanna have fun....

[rmr]

I know how we can get there attention.......

"It's getting so hot, in here (wiping forehead) maybe we should take our tops off to cool off"



r.p. let's see if that works

[Red Princess]

furniture is all gone guess the clothes go next, yes, hot. MORE VODKA!!!

[rmr]

Yes, MORE MORE MORE VODKA AND

CHEESEBURGERS WITH FRIES

PLEASE

[Red Princess]

they are ignoring us, phooey, lets put some stones in the fire and pour water on them, we can have a sauna

[rmr]

Curses.....I can't find anything else to burn!!!

[Red Princess]

let's go next door and steal the wicker patio furniture and burn that

[dinzdale]

You've generated enough heat here to melt Rune's igloo...

Your Daddy comes home, and what does he find....
two semi-naked strumpets, sweating in the sauna heat, drinking vodka, and eating cheesburgers.........tchuh..kids today........

Will this leather thong burn?

[Red Princess]

leather thong will not burn, it will shrink in the heat and humidity, it you don't want to wear it for life , you had better get it off now

[Red Princess]

and who are you calling a strumpet???

[dinzdale]

Well if it shrinks, I'll give it to Beale ......he's not blessed.....
What's this oil stuff? Is it for aroma or for skin tone.......

[Red Princess]

LUBE, we have plenty of fuel now that they neighbors have lost their furniture

[dinzdale]

Well grease me up and call me Mr Slippery.......

Did you burn that pile of "art" pamphlets ?
I think they were in the portable commode.....

[Red Princess]

yeah, if it was combustible it went, here hold still, where exactly are you ticklish?

[dinzdale]

Behind my knees......steady with that stuff........Oooooh kinda tingley........hang on a minute!!! Does that say "Firey Jack Deep Heat Rub" ??????



OHHHH SHHHHHIIIIITTTTTTT ! ! ! ! ! !

: dashes for the shower :

[Red Princess]

*follows with a lighter* so who's a strumpet greasy boy?

[rmr]

I leave you two alone and god damn look what happens.....

Mr. Slippery do you mind putting your pants back on???

[Red Princess]

HE STARTED IT

[dinzdale]

OKay......sorry
...................... : rubbing very warm butt :......Ouch.

: giving puppy-dog eyes :
I'm sorry Rimsey, but she made me do it....and she doesnt play fair....: snivelling :....and I was waiting for you , but...: sniff :...but....

[rmr]

Dinz -- sniveling will not make me forget that you have no pants on.

R.P. -- I thought you knew better

I need a drink.

[dinzdale]

How about these pants Rimmer.........I made them from a pair of Spiderman Jammies, with the feet still sown in.......spiffey hey ?

[Red Princess]

i hate puppies, he's a liar , why do you think his pants burnt off, liar liar pants on fire that's why,

[rmr]

Liar Liar pants on fire........I cannot stop laughing!!!



Love the new pants, you look great everyone should have feet sewn into their pants.

[dinzdale]

: doing the moonwalk across the room in neat pants :

Gotta love it........

: does the Chuck berry duckwalk back :

[Red Princess]

Rimmmer, you know he called you a strumpet too

[rmr]

Keeping doing the duck walk, I love it, I love it, I love IT!!!


R.P. what's a strumpet........running for my dictionary!!!

[rmr]

strum·pet __ (_P_)__Pronunciation Key__(strmpt)
n.

A woman prostitute.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Middle English.]


Dinz - you are in some serious trouble.....them are fighting words......

R.P. Grab that lighter....let's get him!!!!

[dinzdale]

: takes off into the sunset at high rate of knots wearing Spiderman jammie type pants with feet intact :



Thinks: good job I didnt say "doxie"

[rmr]

hey, hey, hey where do you think you are going????

: grabbing at the elastic spider man pajama pants with feet sewn in :


You get back here and face the music

[Red Princess]

Here, I'll sit on him, you can rub that ointment all over him

[dinzdale]

MMMMMM....MMMMMMM...MMMMMMM.......*Cough*....*Whee ze*...

Okay, Okay...I didnt mean it
Please dont sit on my head again...
*Thinks : that's the first time I've ever said that to a woman....*

I take it all back, you are not strumpets, doxys, harlots, trollops or any of the other things Beale said you were...
I think you're very nice, and obviously Ze-babes.

Can I get up now?

[Red Princess]

ok ok , but don't try to blame beale , he had the good sense to leave hours ago, i don't know if i should let you up.... why don't you just turn your head

[dinzdale]

...because from here I am looking up into heaven......

........and the other way, I can hear the sea.......

[RuneT]

Uhm! I seem to have come at a bad time. I will work out in the hall until you have finished whatever you are doing. Spiderman? Red?

[Red Princess]

you can stay, i was just about to break his nose (with out using my hands) for calling me and Rimmer strumpets, he is too clever for me and won't turn his head, time for plan b. Dinz you are released

[rmr]

i don't think you should let him up just yet. How dare you blame you friend Beale, Dinz???? He's going to be mighty angry with he upon his return.

Let's give him a wedgie.........Horrors, no undergarments or unmetionables......DINZ, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR??????

[Red Princess]

use mine it will hurt more

[rmr]

Good Idea, but wait, oh SHITE......do you know what time it is?????????????

[Red Princess]

STRETCH, you pull that leg and i will pull this one, pull til he yells UNCLE

[rmr]

NYC you are the best thank you for shedding some light on this situation.

I now know who is to blame


)))))))))Pulling leg as hard as i can)))))))))))))))))

Yell, UNCLE DINZ!!!

[RuneT]

I can't watch 3 girls torturing a man. Sorry, but it's my manly duty to prevent this kind of molesting. “Lifting screaming and kicking women off dinz”
RUN FOR IT! NOW!

[Red Princess]

you can't get away that easy, I can take him, Rimmer you get the other one

[rmr]

Rune, you better get back out into that hall.......if not I'm going to open a can of whoop ass and I don't think you'd like that.

R.P. I've got Rune covered you keep sitting on Dinz's head!!

[Red Princess]

okey dokey, time for clenches isn't it?

[rmr]

It is, but I think we should blindfold dinz...he enjoys watching us bend over too much and I think he deserves a little torture today. Do you agree??

[Red Princess]

Agreed. I have a roll of duck tape over on the counter next to the martini pitcher

[RuneT]

hmmm, am I "the other one" now?
Dinz!! can you breathe? you ok?

[dinzdale]

MMMMMM..MMMMMM........

[RuneT]

I don't really know what to make of that....

[rmr]

shhhhh rune, no speaking. nod your head if you'd like a cocktail.

* bending over doing warm-ups**

R.P. I've got the light.

Put that duct tape on real tight now.

[RuneT]

Slam your hand three times on the floor if you need assistance

[RuneT]

I know someone in the flirting thread that would love being treated like this, lol. ops sorry. i spoke again. I'd love a drink, thank you. no no. no need to get dressed.

[rmr]

RUNE, CUT IT!!!

Don't even think of planning some sort of coup(or however you spell it)

[RuneT]

I am here to make sure that any punishment of dinz doesn't inflict any permanent damage. no, no scissors.

[Red Princess]

I'm back, that's pretty funny Rune is going to be chaperone, we can't get dressed again anyway, used all the clothes as fuel for the sauna

[RuneT]

That is very inventive of you! why are you looking at my clothes like that?

[rmr]

Rune , can we please have your clothes?????

Bending, stretching, wiggling, bending~

[Red Princess]

sauna fire running out of fuel. is that polyester?

[rmr]

I think it is.......hmmmmmmm.........I say we get him!!!

[RuneT]

Oh my god.....
where was I?

Ok, in one condition. You girls give Dinz some space to breathe (got that from the negtotiators handbook), oh, and release one hostage please. :)

[Red Princess]

*tackles Rune* GET THE TAPE!

[rmr]

We only have one hostage???

Are you trying to play mind games with me???

[RuneT]

ach, americans and diplomacy. why bother?

[Red Princess]

tape his mouth Rimmer, i'll take the pants for the sauna fire

[rmr]

I don't know about you R.P. but this is more of a work-out then usual!!!

Yikes.

I'm going to his mouth.....all this anti american rhetoric and all.......you nordes!!!

[RuneT]

anyone! heeeeeee....mmmmmmmmmmmm..mmmmmmm

mmmmmking bitmmmmm dommmmmmmmm tmmm mmmmy mmmmmmantsmmmm

[Red Princess]

AHHH a pantsless viking, not so scarey Eh? Did no one read the warning hours ago about this being the raging lunatic room? Let's put ice cubes on them

[RuneT]

growlmmmmmmmmmm!:mad:

[rmr]

That'll show em'

Hey R.P. I just read on another thread that dinz called us boring again!!!

CURSES - He must pay!!!

[Red Princess]

i don't know how he could have said we are boring, he's been all taped up naked on the floor over there for hours, perhaps we should just tickle them

[RuneT]

*wiggle wiggle crawl crawl out the door*

[Red Princess]

i say we let him get away, there he goes out the door, all taped up and no pants, stripped by girls, Hey Rim we still have some martinis?

[RuneT]

no way i'm going out there in the cold like this. I will wait here for beale to come with clothes. you girls are crazy, do you know that?
I need lots of martini's to not dwell over the sweet thought of revenge. what are you looking at! haven't you seen a half naked man with goose bumbs before?

[Red Princess]

can i kiss it and make it better? where does it hurt? we can let Dinz go but we are not giving anyone their clothes back, it's too hot here in the sauna anyhow... *smooch smooch*

[rmr]

R.P. looks like our work is done.

Drink....

I toast R.P., Here's to us kicking the boy's arses!!!


I need a smoke, anyone got a light?

Rune, I thought that was a goose bump.....:)

[Red Princess]

have a light, it's been a good day

[RuneT]

ohh, I feel much more calm now, thank you. I need to find a corner to sleep in I think. It's been a long day and I am terribly tired now. you girls exuse me while i untie dinz and crash in the corner. thank you for your hospitality. zzzzzzzzz

[RuneT]

zzzz lol, yeah. what you get in the cold... zzzzz

[rmr]

God I feel like I've accomplished so much today. Don't you R.P.

Whoo, Fridays are hell around here.

[RuneT]

zzz hey, rimmer. if you ever kicked my ass your foot would brake. steel! remember? I can crack walnuts in my sleep now.

[rmr]

Can't we all just get along.

Rune - you could bounce quarters off my ass.

[RuneT]

getting along! :) good night my amazones, kiss kiss

[rmr]

Love you toots!!!

[Red Princess]

Hey Rim, your foot won't break if you just turn him around. sorry , yes we can all get along, ok ok . I fell better now, good stress relief

[rmr]

LOL -- HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Red Princess]

oh crap we forgot about Dinz, here sweetie let me get that tape off of you, can i get you a drink? what would you like ? get you anything else? *Smoooch* no sorry you cannot have your pants back we burned them, have a towel

[bealeblues]

see, i've said it before, and i'll say it again... i ALWAYS miss the good stuff....

i do have some observations....

dinz: quit calling rimmer and RP boring... they don't seem to like that (although i know you only doing it so they'll strip you down, tape you up, and tickle you......)

rune: why in hell would you want me to come with clothes when you have TWO girls who have voluntarily stripped you down? i should be the LAST person you want to arrive, least of all with clothes....

rimmer and RP: you are wise beyond your years to not believe dinz when he blamed the 'trollup', etc comments on me.... he's just a little threatened schoolgirl when i'm around, so you have to expect things like that....

[Red Princess]

Hi Beale. just because we didn't believe Dinz when he accused you of stuff he did doesn't mean we are going to believe it when you do the same to him. I still have that roll of tape and may be even more dangerous today than yesterday. here it is saturday and i am at work :(

[bealeblues]

JOJ RP, point taken.... as you will see, dinz, rune, and I will always take pot shots at one another, so you'll just have to wade through the mire yourself and make up your own mind....

and as for the roll of tape, i will be making a quick escape in about 10 minutes, so you won't have the free for all with me as you did dinz yesterday....

[Red Princess]

oh crap, i am really in a mood today

[bealeblues]

and why's that?

[Red Princess]

at work, saturday, date later, no time to shop for new fancy duds for date, it's about 75 degrees outside and sunny and i am in this cave with all these computers, there's more but you don't want to know

[bealeblues]

well, if it is any consolation, i am in my office on a saturday (but i'm about to leave now) and it feels like 35 degrees here....

very few things i hate more than working on saturdays, although i do it all the time....

[Red Princess]

AND i was here until 11 last night, bitch bitch bitch, i should shut up about it, date should improve my mood. It had better

[bealeblues]

well i feel sorry for that poor bastard if he doesn't improve your mood.... i hope it gets better, but if not, take it out on dinz on monday..... hasta....

[Red Princess]

it's a plan. yeah mr date cancelled on me last week so he needs to be extra special nice tonight

[dinzdale]

Well I'm here too on Saturday, 'cos were so busy....
I hope your date goes well RP, though he should be lucky to get a second chance.....
If he doesnt show, take the duct tape with you next time....

[rmr]

May I join the pity party???

I think I got stood up for tonight.....men!!!

[dinzdale]

That;s why i dont date them..bastards.
Sorry for you too Rimmer.....have a drink on me.

[rmr]

You are so lucky you don't date them, they can be such jerks.....I'm too old for this crap. When they tell you it ends they lie!!!

Thanks for the drink......you must have one too!!!

[Red Princess]

well. he managed to avoid a duck taping, had just the right reaction to the lace anklets. you boys were right about the white lace, thank you. mood is much improved, i have chocolate and flowers for everyone, *grins*

[bealeblues]

congrats on the good date, RP.....

[Red Princess]

thank you and i will take all the credit for it. Princess is an earned title in my case not hereditary. I earned it by making them all want to be my subjects.

[bealeblues]

and, in a few short days/weeks, you have added dinz to your swelling throng....

... i won't even comment on how that sounded....

[Red Princess]

What? And not you? *sniff*

[RuneT]

ahh, he's just trying to be cool. he like's you a lot.
I have always wondered why you run around with scissors, princess.

[Red Princess]

after friday you need to ask? runs with scissors as opposed to 'plays nice with others'