What do you NOT want for xmas?

[craig johnston]

i'm sorry, but i can really live without getting another of those
christmas cards someone (on acid?) painted with their feet. well
done guys, good work, but i've paid my dues......
:rolleyes:

[trisherina]

Immodium.

[Bipolarbear]

A cat.

[Gatsby]

This Christmas, I do not want a White House "holiday" card.

[ambo]

that same old lump of coal
i mean, come on.......

[lapietra]

any more news items about dead soldiers, Iraqis, civilian contractors, etc.

[RuneT]

anything that cost money

[zenbabe]

Herpies

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Nothing worse than getting the same thing two years in a row.

[melissa]

Are you sure about that?

[craig johnston]

you got herpes two years in a row fox?

:confused:

[Hyakujo's Fox]

this is a tough crowd

[craig johnston]

move your mistletoe.

;)

[madasacutsnake]

I don't want to go to my mother's. Next year, I swear, it's South Molle for me.

[Marcus Bales]

No more fondue pots!

[Bipolarbear]

No more fondue pots!
Those skewer-thingies from fondue pots are good for roasting marshmallows. And eyeballs.

[red]

I do not want socks.

[Bipolarbear]

I do not want shi-applesauce.

[red]

I do not want any more fvcking candles.

[red]

No more soap either. WTF!? I bathe, I don't think it's a hint.
People have no clue.

[red]

No more picture frames either.

Soap, candles and picture frames are all cop outs.

[Jack Flanders]

So, Red, you need to drop big bomb hints what you want or start regifting them back next year. And put your photo in the the frame. OH! That could be really funny!

[Jack Flanders]

No more fondue pots!
Yabut (that's a word) have you seen the melting chocolate fond :D ue server?

[ambo]

At Costco, they have a farking chocolate fondue FOUNTAIN :D

[beckstra]

I don't want another bill for Christmas. :)

[trisherina]

I was at a party with a chocolate fountain this season. I thought it would be dreadfully tacky and that the chocolate would be inedible. In the end, my skewer count was shamefully high. They had these little cream puffs...

[ambo]

I KNEW that fountain would be cool !

[Coffee]

Yabut (that's a word)


http://www.msgr.ca/msgr-3/Abbot-Costello.jpg
ABBOTT (behind the counter at an air conditioned Super Duper computer store): Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a my proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W.”

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “W” if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2. 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great, with what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue “1.”

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue “1.”

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue “W”?

ABBOTT: The blue “1” is Real One and the blue “W” is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there’s three words in “office for
windows!”

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office.

COSTELLO: Stop! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled to my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on “START”...

COSTELLO: HEY YABUT!!!

[Jack Flanders]

YABUT!!!!!!!!!!

[Clytie]

a hickey...so childish

[Brynn]

I don't want a new garbage disposal from my darling husband.
Or a AAA membership.
Or TiVo.

I don't want potholders
a new tea kettle
or even a Teflon frying pan.

I don't want slippers.


Socks would be nice
but a star named after me -
that would be something

[jasmina]

I don't want any technological gizmos

[buttercup]

I don`t want a bottle of bath shower gel from the mother inlaw, who claims she put some money in the parcel. like last year :rolleyes: Yeh right !

[craig johnston]

I don't want any technological gizmos
d'oh! i was gonna give you this amazing mp3 playing online
toaster/microwave that could cook breakfast in sydney while
you shower in london. oh well, my granny will have to get it
instead.

:)

[ambo]

I don't want anything that contains the words "fetch the" in it.......

[dinzdale]

I dont want anything with a cat in it. :mad:

[Zeismyhero]

I don't want any sadness or unpleasant surprises. Not just at Holiday, but all year. In fact, I want 2006 to be almost boring in the most wonderful way. :)

[ambo]

I dont want anything with a cat in it. :mad:

Oh now Dinz, a little pvssy might be just the thing.......

[jasmina]

I don't want any technological gizmos

I take it all back.... I got a kick ass laptop!