confess!

[craig johnston]

ok, here's the chance to unburden yourself of some guilt or to brag
shamelessly.
what crimes have you ever committed?

i'll start - i used to walk by a post office on my way from school.
one of those ones that's also a stationery shop etc. anyway,
they started selling records for some reason, they'd have all the
week's top 50 singles in a cabinet and it was very easy to slip a
couple off the shelves and into my schoolbag once in a while. so
i did. got some great stuff which i still own today. clash, buzzcocks,
jam, undertones etc etc. i later moved on to albums can't remember
which but at least one tasty who compilation.
they never caught me although how no one noticed i can't imagine.

oh yeah and a couple of others....

;)

[ambo]

yeah, i lifted lots of little stuff from stores when i was younger
i think it was the thrill of it that got me
and salt/pepper shakers from restaurants - that one was weird

the stuff i feel really guilty about, i wouldn't post for money

[zenbabe]

*cough*

[Coffee]

I once loitered. :o

[craig johnston]

you should have stolen those tomato ketchup things in the shape
of a tomato ambo.
:)

[dinzdale]

Public defa(the rest of this has been removed on the advice of legal counsel) and other similar offences to be taken into consideration.

[auntie aubrey]

if i couldn't share it on post secret (http://postsecret.blogspot.com/) i certainly couldn't share it here.

[Frieda]

i really do like the hoff



http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/3428/pic22533hp5.jpg



thanks for the picture, dinz!

[zenbabe]

I used the carpool lane a week ago.

[craig johnston]

that is a serious crime frieda. consider yourself under arrest.
i'll just get me handcuffs......

[Jack Flanders]

I like to drive fast!!!! :D

[trisherina]

I got three photo radar tickets in the last month.

What else am I supposed to do when people want to race?

[ambo]

I got three photo radar tickets in the last month.

What else am I supposed to do when people want to race?

Oh no! Your insurance rates are going to go through the roof.
:(

[trisherina]

No, photo radar doesn't do a thing to insurance, since it can't be proven who was driving the vehicle. Paying the tickets is punishment enough.

[Jack Flanders]

When I was about 8 years old, a couple of friends and I snitched 3 pumpkins from a local old fart farmer's field just before they rotted. Had a lot of fun carving them!! :D He was a mean old cuss. I think my dad enjoyed it even more than I did. How's that for enabling? :)

[noxxville]

I've stapled my hand with a normal desk stapler becuase I didn't think it would penetrate the skin........twice.

[noxxville]

I almost cut my finger off with a butter knife trying to break up some onion powder.

[noxxville]

I've spent 25 minutes inside of a room filled with riot gas without a mask on, just to prove a point.

[noxxville]

I have a tendancy to do stupid things that resut in i get f@$&ed up......

[Jack Flanders]

Noxx, you are a moroon!:D

[noxxville]

You know......sometimes I start thinking about all of these things......am I amazed that i have yet to break a bone......hmmm....Unbreakable?

[noxxville]

I confess that I am quite skilled in saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

[craig johnston]

yeah fab, but are those things against the law? that is the point here.
:)

[noxxville]

Oh.OK. I stole a cops gun once.

[LeahDear]

When I was about 12 I tried on some of my older sister's Chanel No5 and spilt it all down myself; it was in one of those bottles with a stopper, not a spray. I thought filling it up with water would do the trick until it seperated like rancid milk. I thought I'd just leave it on the windowsill and hope she wouldn't notice. Obviously she did and I managed to get away with it by saying that it probably didn't react well to sunlight.

Years later we were reminiscing about our childhood and I started laughing about said perfume incident... but the look of abosolute horror on her face reminded me that I'd never actually confessed to her what had happened. She managed to see the funny side eventually.

[auntie aubrey]

i "collected" cadillac hood ornaments.

[Anna]

I've never done anything wrong, but I'm looking for trouble.

[Jack Flanders]

You're not looking hard enough, Anna! Come on - do something bad or at least naughty!!! But do tell!!!

[Brynn]

Miss Anna Perfect, you thang, you have so done something wrong. Spill it!:D

I was nine. I have always felt terrible about how my little sister and I insisted on washing the horse that lived (illegally) in my girlfriend Laura's garage in the middle of winter in Maine. He was filthy and neglected, but before we got to him, at least he was warm.
We didn't ask for soapy water, but that's what Laura brought, so of course that required extra rinsings of cold water.
To make matters worse, my little sister was fooling around and accidentally broke a window, which then allowed freezing air to pour in over Smokey's poor wet shivering body.
We all agreed not to tell the parents that we'd broken the window. We actually tried to dry him with a blow dryer until we lost interest and went off to play.
He caught cold and died within the week.
To make things even more horrible, we were only friends with Laura because of the horse, and she knew it. She used her possession of the horse to manipulate us into doing things for her, but when the horse died, we stopped going over to see her because we felt so guilty. Her mother always walked Laura to school, which was kind of strange back then, but she did it because Laura's older sister had been killed by a car walking to school. Whenever we saw them, her mother always looked at us from a distance like "...and there are the girls who killed the horse."

[craig johnston]

^^^^
omg! horse murderer!

:eek:

[zero]

^^now we know why she's always trying to put pyjamas on me

[Brynn]

naked horses, no no no

[Brynn]

Now I'm sorry I confessed, craig johnston. I made myself sad thinking about poor smokey with no blanket, no pyjamas, no radiator and no bucket of warm oats. :(

[Brynn]

In sixth grade, I developed a crush on Jason Watson. When he insisted on being a normal preteen who had no interest in girls, I teased him so unmercifully that his parents pulled him from the school.

This thread's a bummer. somebody make me stop before i compulsively confess every single rotten thing I ever did.

[lachme]

i just slay me sometimes.


but then, someone has to.

[craig johnston]

didn't you do any fun crimes brynn? like nicking records or
diluting perfume?

;)

[karma_queen]

i broke my mum's camera once, by playing around with the shutter. it wasn't so broken that it wouldn't seem like it wasn't taking photos, but i knew the whole thing would be buggered. then she spent £200 on developing holiday photos. i still haven't owned up.

oh! and when i was 5 i was forced to wear a disgusting lost property jumper for the school class photo because i hadn't brought my own. it was so itchy that i threw it under one of the mobile classrooms. i love that in that years photo i'm the only one in my t-shirt.

[ambo]

Now I'm sorry I confessed, craig johnston. I made myself sad thinking about poor smokey with no blanket, no pyjamas, no radiator and no bucket of warm oats. :(

This story is haunting me. I feel so horrible for that poor horse. Where were your friends parents? Wasn't anyone taking care of this horse? Man, that stinks.

[lapietra]

I feel sorry for the horse... but I also feel sorry for Brynn... what a sad story to have to carry around with you your whole life. Much harder to deal with than nicking a few records. I'm sure it's actually made you a much more caring person than most, Brynn.

When I was about that age - I took some costume jewelry from my aged babysitter. (I didn't like her very much. :( ) I gave the jewelry to my "friends" (I think it was more that I wanted them to be my friends) - which of course was the cause of my getting caught. My mom made me apologize, and we got almost all the jewelry back except for one piece (a string of colored rocks, not precious stones, but I'm sure it wasn't all that cheap), which I think my mom paid for. I lived in a small, low-income apartment complex, and word got around that I was a thief. I was then incorrectly accused of stealing a silver dollar that belonged to the mother of some guy I knew (I'd never been in their apartment - the guy must have taken it) and the woman actually sent the police to my school to question me. My mom didn't even believe me... I never took anything ever again after the jewelry incident. 'Twas enough of a learning experience... I ended up moving away from there, to live with my dad, to get away from the stigma. Nine years old!

[ambo]

I feel sorry for the horse... but I also feel sorry for Brynn... what a sad story to have to carry around with you your whole life.

Oh my yes, I agree. I did a couple of things to animals when I was young and foolish, and made some mistakes related to the care of my pets when I was older and foolish, and I can NEVER forgive myself for either.

[lapietra]

Oh my yes, I agree. I did a couple of things to animals when I was young and foolish, and made some mistakes related to the care of my pets when I was older and foolish, and I can NEVER forgive myself for either.

Me too. Even recently, I'm discovering more and more ways we can care for the cats better, and as I learn them I think, "Oh, God, if only I had known this sooner...." Hard lessons when you're talking about little animals you love & care for. But I think they know you're doing your best. :)

[craig johnston]

anyone ever stolen a cat?
frieda maybe?
:)

[madasacutsnake]

I actively dislike most people.

[ambo]

I actively dislike most people.
Hell, who doesn't?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Hell, who doesn't?

But did you ever convince someone to go for a month's holiday with the smelly pit people?

[ambo]

But did you ever convince someone to go for a month's holiday with the smelly pit people?

Huh?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Huh?

That's what I said.

[l'azizza]

When I was a tot we had two ducks, Duckless and Duckmore. One day I was hugging one of them, and broke it's neck.

That was the day I learned not to love.

My older siblings have never forgiven me. My sister has a picture of me with one of the ducks, and she gets it out when she's feeling mean. Then she says something like, your four- year old eyes look sinister. Or, your grin has the devil in it.

[madasacutsnake]

But did you ever convince someone to go for a month's holiday with the smelly pit people?

And I actually like her. She is however my boss and ergo I am so dead when she gets back.

[craig johnston]

weird how this turned into an animal torturing thread.
:(

anyway, i stole electricity for about 3 years. didn't pay a bill
in all that time. it required jamming a nail into the main fuse
socket with a bit of wood.
ah, those were the days.....
:)

[Jack Flanders]

I rented a car in California for a week while visiting. The rental fee never appeared on my credit card statement. :D Years later it still hasn't!!!

[dinzdale]

Trying to get in anightclub once, and my friend didnt have a tie.
SOooooooo we did what any dynamic duo would. We slashed someones parked bicycle tyre and pulled out the inner tube, slit it, flattened it out and made him a rubber tie :)

[magdalen]

^^ :D

[Zeismyhero]

I stole the cookie from the cookie jar...

[craig johnston]

oh yeah, one of those rubber tie type clubs eh?
:rolleyes:

[Frieda]

anyone ever stolen a cat?
frieda maybe?
:)
why would i steal a cat? i got mine for my birthday years ago and this one is more than i can handle :D

hmm.. stealing.


according to all the new laws i once stole MP3s from the internut.

[lapietra]

hmm.. stealing.


according to all the new laws i once stole MP3s from the internut.

Oh yeah... wait a sec.... :o

[Frieda]

^^^ everyone's a criminal!

[Coffee]

Embrace your dark side...and the ill gotten goodies.

[Jack Flanders]

Napster was my midnight handout for many months. Yep.

[Audreyvgs]

I bought a stationwagon full of horse shit and filled up a telephone booth and shut the door. It got in the papers.

it was only 25¢ for a 50 lb bag! I bought many bags.

[Brynn]

^this is v. good!

Okay, fun crimes, fun crimes...when I was four, I took a piece of bubble gum from a store and got caught and never stole anything again, but everyone's done that. There was one time, however, when my husband was in grad school and we were both subsisting on my part-time minimum wage job. For Christmas I splurged on our $200 a month budget for food and bought a roast. When I got home though, it was not in any of the bags, and I went angrily back to the grocery store and insisted that they forgot to pack it into a bag for me. I wanted another roast! The clerk reluctantly gave me one with a very disapproving look.

During the course of the three weeks after that Christmas, the car gradually began to smell horrible, like a dead animal or something...the original roast had rolled out of a bag and under a seat.
I did not go back to the store for a long time after that.

[xfox]

Ok, I haven't read all the crimes, but my brother was bad -and I told, you know, it happens.

But, if anybody else ever says anything bad about my brother, they answer to me. See? Got that?

[Coffee]

ok...one christmas my roomates and I were too poor/cheap to buy a Xmas tree, so we walked through a nearby evergreen forest (this was in WA. State) where all the "good looking/well proportioned" trees were all no less than 20 feet tall. We finally settled on a large 6 foot tall Charley Brown tree with most of the limbs on one side and dragged it home, set it up, and it looked awefull. Upon looking out our apartment window we noticed all these lovely perfectly proportioned evergreen trees used as decorative shrubberies around our apartment complex ...we stole one that evening...I personally cut it down with a steak knife. It was the following day that I loitered. And that was my crime spree, more than enough for one lifetime I think.

[Jack Flanders]

I worked for a park department after college and was able to get a gov't grant to plant a sh*t load of evergreen trees in our parks. The first Christmas after they were planted I lost about a third of them to holiday tree stealers. The second year, just after Thanksgiving, I went around and sprayed the fairly new trees with a solution that after moving the cut trees into a warm house/building would make the trees smell like a hundred cats had been peeing on them for quite some time. That second Christmas I also had trees stolen.

The third Chistmas not one was removed. :D :D :D

[craig johnston]

well that clears up a mystery! i was wondering why our tree smelt
of cat pee last year.
:rolleyes:

[madasacutsnake]

I troll another message board. I'm rude to people who can't spell, just for fun.

[12"razormix]

i really like carrot cake.

[zero]

:mad: ^listen goody12shoes, that's NOT A CRIME!!


"fingers" johnston is only interested in hearing about real actual crimes


he's quite an anti-authoritarianist you know!!;)

[12"razormix]

that's NOT A CRIME!! you're just saying that so you don't have to feel guilty about the ghastly british things that you're having for tea!

[craig johnston]

asoko probably has different laws and stuff

[12"razormix]

I bought a stationwagon full of horse shit and filled up a telephone booth and shut the door. WHY??

[craig johnston]

yes, why oh why?

:confused:

[12"razormix]

i'm serious. :D what prompts someone to do this?

[zero]

^i know 12rra"zomrix, i'm baffled too as to why a woman would want to fill a phone box with dobbin-doings and then shut herself in.

some kind of dirty protest maybe? like in that movie where colin o'farrely refuses to come out of the kiosk until they meet his demands?

[12"razormix]

see that thought had not even entered my mind. i was thinking more along the lines of a dear but distant relative who never called. the phone company's responsibility no doubt.

disappointment and human drama.

[craig johnston]

i don't think she was inside with the poo. do you?
it's very intriguing.

[trisherina]

An enormous phone bill?

[Brynn]

Imaginative vandals do not have to explain themselves, ever. If the deed is spectacular enough, it stands on its own. I believe this is just such a case.
But I don't think she's confessing so much as bragging :D

Okay, here's a real confession, and I'm not proud of it. Take it as a cry for help if need be.
As a youngster, I couldn't wait for the seventies to be over, was sick to death of disco, sneered sullenly at middle-aged baby boomers who were hogging the airwaves and the dance floor and generally making asses of themselves. But I just saw this and actually found myself :eek: attracted to him!

Finally time to practice the headless eggbeater :)


<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7TsRdkrxl4g"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7TsRdkrxl4g" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

Hate the song, hate the dance, hate the culture and all it stands for - but I'm mesmerized. I've watched it twice and I may watch it again. I find myself imagining him in a kilt. :eek:

[Jack Flanders]

Brynn - it's the pants. :D

[Brynn]

The pants are v. good, yes.
I just watched the pants again.
It's true. No kilt needed.

[funkytuba]

When I was a tot we had two ducks, Duckless and Duckmore. One day I was hugging one of them, and broke it's neck.


Sure, sure, but how did it taste?

[Brynn]

Now we're back to torturing animals.

I put scotch tape on the bottom of my cat's paws to slightly annoy him.

[lapietra]

Now we're back to torturing animals.

I put scotch tape on the bottom of my cat's paws to slightly annoy him.

oh HELL that's funny :D I can just imagine doing that to...

oops. :eek:

[Brynn]

yes, you really should try it

[lapietra]

heeeeeeheeheeheeheeeheeeeee.....:D

[Brynn]

Any cat will do, actually. You should go do it now and report back

[funkytuba]

"torturing"'s a pretty strong word.. cmon.. l'azziza was 4, and deserves the benefit of the doubt... it was probably just a stress position.

now, back to business... did your mom make it into duck a la king, peking duck, duck confit or just plain fried duck?

[lapietra]

damn... the bf has the tape downstairs....

[Brynn]

poor l'azzizza. poor duck. poor neck on the duck. poor traumatized sister as well. poor l'azzizza :(
They buried it properly in the yard of course, and had a very nice funeral for Duckmore. Or 'Less. (!)


(I only like the skin on duck, and only then if it's crackly. Shhh. Funky you are so very - are you a big brother to someone? )

[Brynn]

damn... the bf has the tape downstairs....

Well, it's not worth the trouble right now I guess, but it's something good to do when you've had a bad day or need to change the subject.

[lapietra]

I also have to wait until paws are unsuspectingly outstretched during some sort of activity... butt-washing will probably do nicely. :D

[Jack Flanders]

I put my sister's tutu on our cat. He was not amused.

[Brynn]

you've done this before, lala

[Jack Flanders]

.

[l'azizza]

Not sure what became of the duck. I'll ask my mom and get back to you. I bet I wasn't allowed at the funeral.

My sister's moving to the country pretty soon, and told me that her boyfriend says they can get a couple ducks. I was pretty excited when she told me this, then she said I'm not allowed to touch them.

[Brynn]

I've dressed my pets before too Jack. but did you ever tie-dye your white cat with red and purple Kool-Aid?

[Brynn]

Not sure what became of the duck. I'll ask my mom and get back to you. I bet I wasn't allowed at the funeral.

My sister's moving to the country pretty soon, and told me that her boyfriend says they can get a couple ducks. I was pretty excited when she told me this, then she said I'm not allowed to touch them.

She SO needs to let that go, doesn't she? :)
you should get some of your own ducks, just to show 'er.
They'll live quite happily under a porch. You could dye them pretty colors too.

[Jack Flanders]

No, but I put red Koolaid powder in a showerhead in my dorm bathroom. And did other really stupid pranks there, too. Don't even ask.:o

[Clytie]

i ran out of panties...

and i didnt have time to do laundry b4 work...soo yea..

comman(or is it woman)do.

[craig johnston]

^^^^^^
admirable! but.....

ok, here's the chance to unburden yourself of some guilt or to brag
shamelessly.
what crimes have you ever committed?

crime in the sense of things that are against the law! i don't know what terrible dictatorships you all live under in ohio or wherever, but there are few countries in the world where playing pranks or annoying pets are considered breaches of the law.
ho hum......
:rolleyes:

[trisherina]

WEED

[craig johnston]

thank you, what a nice idea
;)

[Frieda]

another thing i can't confess here :rolleyes:

[l'azizza]

Things we were caught and handcuffed for, or just random, unprosecuted acts?

[craig johnston]

getting handcuffed i think you want a different website.
;)

nah, just anything against the law. caught or not.
:)

[l'azizza]

I am bumping this with the hope that some newbies are also criminals.

[Stephi_B]

Not that new, but nevertheless criminal (past)... :o
When I was not yet 18, police was after me cos of that gun ('only' a blank cartridge one) I took with me (officially my stepdad's weapon) when I hit the streets (long, long story...) - that was before the boarding school intermezzo after which I could finally move back to my grandparents. But police didn't catch me, na, na, na :p (I had some 'experts' on hand that coached me sort of)
Two weeks later I checked in at police HQ by myself and handed the bloody thing (with emptied magazine --> only an administrative offence) over to them.

[lukkucairi]

I'm a serial jaywalker

[brightpearl]

I just ripped the tag off a mattress.

Oh, and I'd like to confess that I apparently drank so much yoo-hoo that I don't remember that time I took a bath with lulu, trish, zero, and tipple.

[T.I.P.]

I am bumping this with the hope that some newbies are also criminals.

nothing i care to post about

but if we monkey met one day and you asked me the same question i would be more inclined to expound

[Marcus Bales]

Okay okay, I confess I was a little too eager to let Brynn take my clothes in the first place, but now I need them back!

[Pixie Cherries]

I still have a library book from 1986. I checked it out from the bookmobile. Those are good folks. Their inventory is small.

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

The first thing I ever shoplifted was a tin of chicken bullion cubes.

[Angry Kid Hoyt]

and I have done nothing at work today except read & post here and play Guildwars.

[brightpearl]

uh.

whoops.

[Stephi_B]

Remember some other things:
When I was like 12/13 me and some friends used to call people, we picked out randomly from the phonebook, anonymously from the phonebooth at our street, talking BS or just laughing madly.
Never ever shoplifted (too much of a sissy), but sometimes "borrowed" money from my mother's purse (when she had lots of coins in it, so that she wouldn't notice 1-3 DM missing) in order to buy ciggies (ah, then still so cheap, 3DM methinks).