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auntie aubrey
07-30-2007, 05:30 PM
i believe that every single one of us is afflicted with just a touch of ocd (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive_compulsive_disorder). everyone, in some way, has something that compels him/her to irrational action.

confess your obsessive compulsions.


i'll go first. i can't let objects touch each other when they're at rest. for example, when stacking glasses into the cupboard, i have to make sure there's at least a hair's width of space between each glass. the bottles in the pantry can't touch either. if i put items back in the pantry and a moment later realize that two of the bottles might be touching, i have to go back in and make sure they're not. i realized this over the weekend when the spouse and i were out to dinner and he pushed the steamed rice bowl up against the soy sauce bottle. i was compelled to reach out and separate them.

in what way are you touched with OCD? fess up.

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 05:31 PM
This thread gives me hives.

T.I.P.
07-30-2007, 05:32 PM
i'll go first. i can't let objects touch each other when they're at rest. for example, when stacking glasses into the cupboard, i have to make sure there's at least a hair's width of space between each glass. the bottles in the pantry can't touch either. if i put items back in the pantry and a moment later realize that two of the bottles might be touching, i have to go back in and make sure they're not. i realized this over the weekend when the spouse and i were out to dinner and he pushed the steamed rice bowl up against the soy sauce bottle. i was compelled to reach out and separate them.


i do exactly the same thing. If you let them touch each other THEY MIGHT MAKE A SCRATCHY NOISE

auntie aubrey
07-30-2007, 05:32 PM
*touches "reply" button 5 times*

auntie aubrey
07-30-2007, 05:33 PM
i do exactly the same thing. If you let them touch each other THEY MIGHT MAKE A SCRATCHY NOISE

THAT'S EXACTLY IT!!!!!! if you let the glasses touch each other then the next time you walk through the kitchen they might make that buzzing rattling sound against each other!

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 05:33 PM
When I eat, I make it a point to scrape the fork over my teeth when I take a bite.

SCRRAAAAAAAAAAPE.

T.I.P.
07-30-2007, 05:37 PM
AAAHGGGGGGGGGGHHH !!!

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 05:38 PM
Also, when I am eating an enchilada plate at my fave Mexican dive, I gleefully mix the beans and rice with reckless abandon.

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 05:39 PM
I think I have anti-OCD. It's not really any healthier.

auntie aubrey
07-30-2007, 05:43 PM
i can't buy the same brand/flavor/scent of toothpaste or deodorant twice in a row.

T.I.P.
07-30-2007, 05:47 PM
.

auntie aubrey
07-30-2007, 05:49 PM
too scared to post

WHAT???? COME ON!

Marcus Bales
07-30-2007, 05:50 PM
Whenever I put Zero on a shelf, I make sure he's facing to my left, and I use my right hand, so I can pet him all down his neck and back and right to the tippy tip of his tail, so he's rubbed all the right way and can't complain. Every time. Every. Single. Time.

T.I.P.
07-30-2007, 05:52 PM
WHAT???? COME ON!

ahem...mumble mumble...thread in 1972...mumble...zero...bookmarked it...

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 05:54 PM
ahem...mumble mumble...thread in 1972...mumble...zero...bookmarked it...

I read it already!!!
:D :D :D

I'll expect the check in the mail.

T.I.P.
07-30-2007, 05:59 PM
...ah..here we are:


Speaking of which...have you cleared this thread with zero ? There may have been a thread about OCD that he bookmarked in 1972...wouldn't want to rub him the wrong way :eek:


happy ??!!?

Anna
07-30-2007, 06:01 PM
trying to think, trying to think - can't think of any. I eat over the plate. will straighten out pictures that are crooked, attentive to detail, flee a store that has a crying baby or a kid bouncing a ball, perhaps I'm more anal-retentive? Finger nails on black boards and fork biting do not bother me at all, never understood that. People who sing out of tune make my skin crawl and a constant low repetitive hum from far distances will drives me nuts; I have super sonic hearing. I did have an amalgam filing removed once because I heard music and voices, bu I can't think of any complusions, but this thread is young....

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 06:03 PM
happy ??!!?

No, I was hoping for an extortion payment. :p

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 06:07 PM
You know, I do have a compulsion to rescue small animals from back road hazards.

T.I.P.
07-30-2007, 06:17 PM
public transportation

-i always take the left seat in the back of the next to last metro in the morning when i go to work because i know that that is where the least people go.
-i systematically take out earplugs when an accordion player comes into the metro car
-i make and read flashcards in the metro

work

-i still have and use the little plastic paper they sell with your powerbook to protect the screen from getting keyboard markings
-i dislike it when my colleague swigs from his water bottle
-i reorganize my desk each time i finish a job
-i joke about people borrowing my stapler but whenever possible try to get it back into my drawer

home

- i never open the window at night in a room that has the light on. If a window is open, it has to be somehow curtained off by another security door.
- i chop my tomatoes in half and then into little squares.

there are many more, i'm afraid :o

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 06:22 PM
I regret to inform you that those are merely quirks and not full-blown compulsions. :D

T.I.P.
07-30-2007, 06:23 PM
could you repeat that, say, a prime number above 13 times for me please ?

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 06:24 PM
I stand corrected. :D

auntie aubrey
07-30-2007, 08:57 PM
-i reorganize my desk each time i finish a job
- i never open the window at night in a room that has the light on. If a window is open, it has to be somehow curtained off by another security door.

these are good ones. is there a reason for the window thing?

brightpearl
07-30-2007, 08:58 PM
^He doesn't want people to see him folding his underwear and chopping his tomatoes into little squares.

lukkucairi
07-30-2007, 09:30 PM
I am compelled to try and sprout EVERY SINGLE AVOCADO PIT I encounter.

scoff if you want. I've had to get friends to throw them away for me. it feels like murder :(

Anna
07-31-2007, 01:03 AM
- i chop my tomatoes in half and then into little squares.

Cubed tomatoes, hmm… is that anything like cherry tomatoes without the crust?

Tunesmith
07-31-2007, 01:21 AM
:eek:

I was just about to toast this bread, auntie!

confess your obsessive compulsions.

Hmm...lemme think.

-I hate it when people read over my shoulder, but have no reaction if they're sitting next to me. Same thing with watching movies. You have no idea how many times I've had to reposition some member of my family next to the laptop.
-auntie and T.I.P. - I'm the complete opposite when it comes to glasses. They HAVE to be touching each other, or else the little clinky sound happens when you take one out. And that would be horrible.
-When I see people bending the covers of books backwards while they read, I instinctively cringe.
-Once pizza has been refrigerated, I never reheat it. I always convince myself that it'll "take too much time", but in reality I have this hatred of all things microwaved. I dunno why...
-Whenever I leave the house for longer than 1/2 an hour, I always bring at least one book with me.
-Whenever I run or lift weights, I always have to end the session with the total minutes being a multiple of five or with the number of repetitions being a multiple of ten.

CherishHellfire
07-31-2007, 01:47 AM
Breakfast lunch and dinner, counter-clockwise, main course last.
If the food touches each other, it's "no good", and must be moved to another section, until all the "good" food is gone.

Locks: check X 3.
Lights: X 3
toilet paper: 3 pieces, or multiples of 3 up to nine, depending on the current tp issue at hand

Saying "no thank-you" to the first 3 offers for anything (coffee, doors opened, $1,000,000) upon starting a new day.

Chicken/soap/bleach/hand sanitizer/ X 3.

I'm a Virgo, so I think it's mostly anal retentive behavior.

I'm a Virgo, so I already know that it's not anal retentive behavior.

Poop.

:rolleyes:

lukkucairi
07-31-2007, 02:05 AM
Whenever I run or lift weights, I always have to end the session with the total minutes being a multiple of five or with the number of repetitions being a multiple of ten.

whenever I set my alarm, it can't be on a multiple of five.

ideally it should be three past some random multiple of ten past the last hour. seven works too.

trisherina
07-31-2007, 02:26 AM
I had about a solid year of full blown OCD at around the end of elementary school. It resolved spontaneously when the rituals grew to take too much of my day, and one night I was unable to stay awake to complete them all. The next day, it was easier not to do them all, and in the fashion of systematic desensitization, it grew easier and easier not to do them over time until they have all been virtually eliminated. It took a very long time, a couple of decades.

But at their peak the rules were endless. For instance, I had to neutralize certain overheard spoken words by repeating them by a multiple of seven, aloud if necessary, and these were fairly common words, so I looked much of the time like I might be talking to myself -- lips moving. And that was just one of well that part is really rather boring isn't it? There were many, you'll have to trust me, and they all had exacting, spectacularly irrational rules. And if I had a bad day, if things went wrong, it was because I had been lax and not done one of them right the day before. There was just no question.

Maybe the one thing I retain even now is a deterministic view of the world. Some part of me always screams that good or bad things happen for a reason, to look for the pattern and make it all good from now on. I always have to remind myself about randomness, which is bloody embarrassing.

T.I.P.
07-31-2007, 05:50 AM
-i reorganize my desk each time i finish a job
- i never open the window at night in a room that has the light on. If a window is open, it has to be somehow curtained off by another security door.

these are good ones. is there a reason for the window thing?
mosquitoes ! and their stupid little light sensors :mad:
Cubed tomatoes, hmm… is that anything like cherry tomatoes without the crust?
a little bit. i usually chop cherry tomatoes into quarter spheres if they are too big though.
whenever I set my alarm, it can't be on a multiple of five.
ideally it should be three past some random multiple of ten past the last hour. seven works too.

if possible not a multiple of 5 and Never a multiple of ten (otherwise it feels like i haven't completely optimized my sleep time). Usually ends with 3 !!:eek:

T.I.P.
07-31-2007, 06:54 AM
Maybe the one thing I retain even now is a deterministic view of the world. Some part of me always screams that good or bad things happen for a reason, to look for the pattern and make it all good from now on. I always have to remind myself about randomness, which is bloody embarrassing.

Gaining a level of abstraction on your thought processes is a bloody good thing, and the mindfulness you apply to reminding yourself of randomness is also something very precious, in my opinion. Whenever i can remind myself not to take my thoughts too seriously it really takes a load off of my back.

Odbe
07-31-2007, 06:57 AM
if possible not a multiple of 5 and Never a multiple of ten (otherwise it feels like i haven't completely optimized my sleep time). Usually ends with 3 !!:eek:

I usually set it three minutes after the hour or half-hour so that I get 3 minutes extra sleep.

I always write stories in black ballpoint pen and do work in blue ballpoint pen. It has to be exactly those pens, although poetry can be in blue felt-tip or black gel pen.

I have to have the radio on when I'm in the shower, even if there's nothing interesting on.

When I play a card game in which you have your own pile of cards in front of you, I always keep mine in a neat pile all facing the same way and sometimes I tidy up other people's if they're about to fall off the table.

My bed has to be next to a wall, preferably two, facing away from the window and not directly visible from the doorway. If it's not next to a wall I can't sleep. Once I dragged a hotel bed over to a wall.

lukkucairi
07-31-2007, 10:23 AM
My bed has to be next to a wall, preferably two, facing away from the window and not directly visible from the doorway. If it's not next to a wall I can't sleep. Once I dragged a hotel bed over to a wall.

I had a bed compulsion that's gotten a lot better over the years - for a very long time I could not sleep properly unless the bed was facing north-south and my head was at the north end.

one night after a particularly bad bout of jetlag I actually did drag my hotel bed around so the head was facing north. I was having a lot of problems because the hotel faced east-southeast and the diagonal was messing with me. I kept feeling like I was falling.

Dorkahontas
07-31-2007, 01:18 PM
I loathe scrapey noises of all kinds--teeth on forks, glasses, plates, forks on plates, etc. I go to great lengths to avoid making them. Metal on metal is the worst, but glass on glass and metal on glass gives me chills too. I own no metal spatulas for that reason.

I CANNOT finish eating at a restaurant without cleaning up the table afterward. I stack the plates, put all silverware and napkins on top, collect empty sugar and creamer packets, etc and put that on top as well. I get very jittery and anxious if I try to leave everything spread out on the table.

When eating potato chips, I root through them and eat all the broken ones first. No idea why, but my sister does this too.

Last week I was on a conference call and was eating a bag of Gardetto's. When I finished the call I looked down and had sorted everything into piles: pretzels, melba toast (separated into dark and light piles), those twisty things. I hadn't even realized I'd done it.

My husband has some too: when he uses tools from his toolbox, he can't put them away until he's cleaned and wiped down all of them, even the ones he didn't use. His shirts are sorted by color and must all be facing the same way in the closet. I don't share that compulsion and it drives him crazy when I put his things away and they're "not right". He can't even bear to look in my closet.

brightpearl
07-31-2007, 01:23 PM
I had about a solid year of full blown OCD at around the end of elementary school. It resolved spontaneously when the rituals grew to take too much of my day, and one night I was unable to stay awake to complete them all. The next day, it was easier not to do them all, and in the fashion of systematic desensitization, it grew easier and easier not to do them over time until they have all been virtually eliminated. It took a very long time, a couple of decades.

It sounds like you stumbled upon behavioral modification, which is one of the most effective treatments for OCD. You're quite lucky to have done so in childhood. Even so, lots of people continue to have OCD personalitly disorder, which I once read described as a "disorder of philosophy" rather than personality, and as such, it's quite difficult to treat successfully.

auntie aubrey
07-31-2007, 01:47 PM
whenever I set my alarm, it can't be on a multiple of five.

ideally it should be three past some random multiple of ten past the last hour. seven works too.

my alarm clock always has to be set 2 minutes past any 5 minute increment. never :05, but :07. never :30, but :32.

i've tried to do a 3 minute increment but it never works. i think about it instead of falling asleep and then i finally i just have to adjust it back to a 2 minute increment.

auntie aubrey
07-31-2007, 01:58 PM
I had about a solid year of full blown OCD at around the end of elementary school. It resolved spontaneously when the rituals grew to take too much of my day, and one night I was unable to stay awake to complete them all. The next day, it was easier not to do them all, and in the fashion of systematic desensitization, it grew easier and easier not to do them over time until they have all been virtually eliminated. It took a very long time, a couple of decades.

i have another theory that all human beings teeter on the brink of true OCD at some point during adolescence (as opposed to the quasi-OCD of the sort included throughout this thread).

when i was around 11 or 12 i developed a few weird tendencies. if i turned around to look at something i ALWAYS had to turn back around the same way. if i turned a full circle i felt uncomfortable in my skin until i rotated back around to my original starting point. it felt like turning around had pushed me through a thin membrane into a parallel perspective. i still think about that in the shower if i turn to grab the razor or shampoo or something. i don't entertain the compulsion anymore, but i think about the time when i did.

i also used to have to repeat actions. always in pairs. sometimes multiples of pairs but it would get exponential fast. like if i tapped my finger three times, i would want to do it three more times to pair up the set. then i might want to pair up the paired set and get to twelve. i would do this with blinking sometimes, too. i would want to blink twice in a row with the exact same weight of reflex and muscular contraction.

generally this struck when it was a combination of actions. it wouldn't just be the finger tap, it would be if i tapped my finger just as i bumped my elbow or something. then it would become a compulsion to exactly repeat the combination. like the turn-to-look factor. if i turned to look at something and i happened to blink or inhale or whathaveyou right at that moment, i would need to repeat the action exactly as i did the first time, to recapture that exact experience.

i remember becoming aware of it one day when my mom was in the basement, calling up the stairs to me, and i approached the doorway from the right, to catch sight of the side of her face beyond the door jamb. i remember rocking back and forth on my feet to replicate the movement of her face into my field of vision. suddenly she gave me a funny look and said, "what are you doing?"

then it struck me that i was doing very weird things and i weaned myself off of the behaviors.

lukkucairi
07-31-2007, 02:11 PM
i have another theory that all human beings teeter on the brink of true OCD at some point during adolescence (as opposed to the quasi-OCD of the sort included throughout this thread).

when i was around 11 or 12 i developed a few weird tendencies. if i turned around to look at something i ALWAYS had to turn back around the same way. if i turned a full circle i felt uncomfortable in my skin until i rotated back around to my original starting point. it felt like turning around had pushed me through a thin membrane into a parallel perspective. i still think about that in the shower if i turn to grab the razor or shampoo or something. i don't entertain the compulsion anymore, but i think about the time when i did.

you might be on to something.

this strikes me as a bit of where certain weird religious rituals might come from.

when I was 12 I had strange geometrical compulsions - more than the "don't step on cracks" kind - the "I can only step on every fourth square in a diagonal line with an equation of x=4y" - the math teacher thought I was a genius though :o

I also couldn't bear to be in a group of people who walked different ways around the same obstacle.

like you, I realized I was being weird and quit doing these things. I have a friend with full-blown OCD who used to wash all the skin off her hands at the same age - she's got it very much under control now, but she says it helps immensely just to have someone around her who understands what she's going through, and to tell her "you're being silly" when she gets stuck in a loop. it's like she lacks the internal interrupt switch and needs an external aid.

I remember reading Oliver Sacks' "Awakenings" - about the victims of epidemic encephalitis - they could often perform tasks and were able to walk, but were unable to start actions of their own accord.

auntie aubrey
07-31-2007, 02:19 PM
it's like she lacks the internal interrupt switch and needs an external aid.

a characteristic identified as a factor of autism.

they could often perform tasks and were able to walk, but were unable to start actions of their own accord.

also a characteristic identified as a factor of autism.

i was reading recently about how the scientific community is starting to regard autism as a much broader spectrum of characteristics that include these sort of autistic-like characteristics. like OCD or tourettes might all link in to autism as though it were something more like an overarching super-disorder.

now i'm off topic.

lukkucairi
07-31-2007, 02:51 PM
off topic? (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/31/health/psychology/31subl.html?pagewanted=1&8dpc)

brightpearl
07-31-2007, 02:57 PM
^That's very interesting. But I think I'm going to start fighting my compulsion to read this thread. :D

Anna
07-31-2007, 07:50 PM
off topic? (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/31/health/psychology/31subl.html?pagewanted=1&8dpc)

I have a love hate relationship with psychology. As much of it that helps, there is always someone out there willing to exploit the results. I have a feeling those who conducted these experiments and documented their results, would later take the wipes.

trisherina
08-01-2007, 01:27 AM
when i was around 11 or 12 i developed a few weird tendencies. if i turned around to look at something i ALWAYS had to turn back around the same way. if i turned a full circle i felt uncomfortable in my skin until i rotated back around to my original starting point. it felt like turning around had pushed me through a thin membrane into a parallel perspective. i still think about that in the shower if i turn to grab the razor or shampoo or something. i don't entertain the compulsion anymore, but i think about the time when i did.

i also used to have to repeat actions. always in pairs. sometimes multiples of pairs but it would get exponential fast. like if i tapped my finger three times, i would want to do it three more times to pair up the set. then i might want to pair up the paired set and get to twelve. i would do this with blinking sometimes, too. i would want to blink twice in a row with the exact same weight of reflex and muscular contraction.

generally this struck when it was a combination of actions. it wouldn't just be the finger tap, it would be if i tapped my finger just as i bumped my elbow or something. then it would become a compulsion to exactly repeat the combination. like the turn-to-look factor. if i turned to look at something and i happened to blink or inhale or whathaveyou right at that moment, i would need to repeat the action exactly as i did the first time, to recapture that exact experience.


Google "evening up" and "Tourette's."

Marcus Bales
08-01-2007, 08:56 AM
It hasn't been a compulsion, but I like to line things in my visual field up with each other -- so that if I'm looking at a bookcase, for example, and I can almost see one side of it straight on, without seeing any of the plane of the piece of wood that makes the side of the bookcase, I'll move my head so that I cannot see that plane at all; and then I'll line up the edge of the laptop screen casing with the vertical line of the bookshelf. It's satisfying to do that, but I don't notice it unless I'm distracted from something else, or thinking, or looking for distraction.

auntie aubrey
08-01-2007, 11:47 AM
Google "evening up" and "Tourette's."

mmmmmmmmmmmm fascinating.

i love the brain.

seebe
08-01-2007, 01:43 PM
I use to work in a factory and it could get very monotonous, so when I ran out of fantasies to fill my otherwise vacant head, I'd count. We had a rate per hour so I'd look at my counter and go from there..1 meant 12 and 2 meant 23, 3 was 34 and so on...it all was a game to see how many I had to go until I made my rate. It was never accurate though because with each new 10 number I'd start over. Thank God I'm out of that job, now I can fill my head with other great thoughts, like counting by 3's. :rolleyes:

Odbe
08-01-2007, 06:18 PM
mmmmmmmmmmmm fascinating.

i love the brain.

Me too

http://www.analyticalsci.com/science/Anatomical%20Charts/images/SKS-BRAIN.jpg

Tunesmith
08-02-2007, 02:59 AM
Damn, I missed the chance to contribute... :(

When I was four, I discovered a magical "game" that I would play. It involved two fingers, one designated "1" and the other designated "2". I soon discovered that if I tapped "1", then "2", then "2" again, and then "1", I would complete a kind of "circuit", ending back at my original starting point. (Sort of like 0+1-1-1+1=0) I remember creating these gigantic circuits, looping the patterns to make even bigger 1-2-2-1 patterns, until I would be tapping rapid-fire: If you see 1-2-2-1 as being just another "1" and 2-1-1-2 as being a "2" pattern, the possibilities are endless...1221211221121221211212211221211221121221 122121121221211221121221ohmygodmakeitstop

Like auntie, my mother commented one day on "how strange I was being" and I decided to quit my games. When I'm tired, tipsy (only a few experiences, fortunately :D ), etc., I sometimes lapse into these behaviors. In retrospect, it was borderline ticcish, but I never really considered it anything strange, and tried to explain to a number of my friends, who looked at me strangely.

Another childhood habit (and one that continues to this day) is a need to quantify the "value" of a word: Take cucumber, for an example. Because it has an even number of letters, you could pair off the letters into cu, cu, mb, and er, giving you a value of 4. Words with odd numbers of letters are paired similarly, and the leftover letter is given a value of 1. Over at the xkcd (http://forums.xkcd.com/)forums (my other haunt :D ), I remember having a discussion with at least 5 other people who "counted letters", or something along those lines.


mmmmmmmmmmmm fascinating.

i love the brain.

couldnae said it better myself, auntie!

seebe
08-02-2007, 11:05 AM
Damn, I missed the chance to contribute... :(

When I was four, I discovered a magical "game" that I would play. It involved two fingers, one designated "1" and the other designated "2". I soon discovered that if I tapped "1", then "2", then "2" again, and then "1", I would complete a kind of "circuit", ending back at my original starting point. (Sort of like 0+1-1-1+1=0) I remember creating these gigantic circuits, looping the patterns to make even bigger 1-2-2-1 patterns, until I would be tapping rapid-fire: If you see 1-2-2-1 as being just another "1" and 2-1-1-2 as being a "2" pattern, the possibilities are endless...1221211221121221211212211221211221121221 122121121221211221121221ohmygodmakeitstop

Like auntie, my mother commented one day on "how strange I was being" and I decided to quit my games. When I'm tired, tipsy (only a few experiences, fortunately :D ), etc., I sometimes lapse into these behaviors.


12212112211212212112122112212112211212211221211212 21211221121221 :eek:
Aww come on, you can't just quit a compulsion when someone says something one time. You just went into hiding with it, right?
Admit it, you enjoyed typing that a little too much. Typing one handed? And I don't mean in the traditional...ohh never mind, I have important things to do....3 6 9 12 15 18 21 24 27 30

auntie aubrey
08-02-2007, 11:33 AM
i used to know a girl who had a compulsion to add up features on people's faces. like obviously eyes nose and mouth, that was the first simple task. then it was identifying acne, moles, freckles, birthmarks, whatever. and then those would have to be counted immediately as well.

she was conscious of it and knew it was weird. the way it impacted her is that she was unable to really talk to someone when she first met them until she finished that tally. so if someone had no extra features on their face she could move quickly into conversation. but if they had a lot going on, that first moment or two could be kind of bumpy until she was sure she got the count right.


i used to count in binary during stressful situations. i would decide whether it was going to be base 8 or 10 or 16 or whatever and just start counting. i never really thought of it as a compulsion until i was seeing a grief counselor/psychologist after my mother passed away and i admitted that i'd turned to counting in binary to cope with stress. the counselor told me that it was in fact something of a compulsion, and more importantly an avoidance technique used to control the mind when the external world is out of control. apparently when people develop counting fixations, it's almost always an issue of controlling the mind in an uncontrollable world.

lukkucairi
08-02-2007, 01:20 PM
.1221211221121221211212211221211221121221122121121 221211221121221ohmygodmakeitstop


you're not a rush fan, are you? :p