Shameless Flirting Thread Reloaded

[RuneT]

mmm 8 mugs

[imdrsmooth]

Bring it bitches.

[Frieda]

http://img77.exs.cx/img77/817/hasselhoff20swings.gif

[imdrsmooth]

That's it. I'm out of here.

[Coffee]

Originally posted by RuneT
mmm 8 mugs

:D :D :D

Two with Milk.

[madasacutsnake]

Dipshit.

[Coffee]

Nurse Ratchet, you're trying to seduce me aren't you?

http://www.allposters.com/IMAGES/MMPH/162833.jpg

[madasacutsnake]

time for your sponge bath (http://www.lingerie-ireland.com/media/cs0009.jpg)

[Coffee]

The "LOOK", the "look"...the...look...the

*puts water cooler down, lies on back and waits for sponge bath*

[Zaftig]

Mad, you've been a naughty nurse!

[Coffee]

Originally posted by Zaftig
Mad, you've been a naughty nurse!

She's a proffesional...leave her alone, she knows what she's doing...I hope.

[trisherina]

A little hint: if she tells you to bend over? Run.

[madasacutsnake]

<img src=http://www.toolivenurse.com/photos1/fanny_urinal.jpg>

[brightpearl]

I found this thread while searching for the hump day one (go figure), and I want to see what happens.

*grabs popcorn*
*leans back with feet up*

I hope it's as good as the mollusc documentary (http://bulletin.zefrank.com/showpost.php?p=350792&postcount=74).

[craig johnston]

hi pearly, do you come here often?

;)

[funkytuba]

that popcorn looks pretty..... hot.

are you sure you don't want to check out my.....
http://i12.tinypic.com/4ubjccj.jpg
instrument ?

[craig johnston]

... and he hasn't showered in weeks!

[lukkucairi]

ya know, tubaboy, they say bald is hot...

[brightpearl]

hi pearly, do you come here often?

;)

Of course not! I'm not that kind of girl. As far as you know.


... and he hasn't showered in weeks!

Yes, and his instrument is impressive! But does he have a broken nose?

[brightpearl]

that popcorn looks pretty..... hot.

Yes, and it's also cheesy.

What?!? I'm not very good at flirting. :o

[Tunesmith]

Yes, and it's also cheesy.


Cheesy...like your, erm....eyes.

In the sense that cheese is delicious, and your eyes are...the ocular equivalent of...deliciousness...

...damn, I think I suck, too. :(

[Coffee]

...I think I suck, too.

You were startin to get the hang of it towards the end there. :p

[craig johnston]

^^
he's got his own boat.
and he hasn't washed for years.
go on gals, what you waitin' for?

[brightpearl]

If anyone licks my eyeballs, I'm leaving.

[Tunesmith]

You were startin to get the hang of it towards the end there. :p

Yeah, but it came off as me wanting to taste brightpearl's eyes, which i'm sure would be disgusting (no offense to brightpearl!)

[brightpearl]

None taken. That's a favor I'd rather not have done for me, thank you.
Yick.

Somebody who knows what they're doing should get this thread back on track.

[craig johnston]

hola chicas!
nosotros este muy bonita......

[Jack Flanders]

hey!! pearl - i use to visit here - quite entertaining!

[Coffee]

^^^*Waves*
*Notices Flander's well trimmed bush*;)

[funkytuba]

Yes, and it's also cheesy.
mmmm, tasty... nacho or bleu?

What?!? I'm not very good at flirting. :o
round here, you don't have to be... you just have to show up :cool:

[Capella]

[QUOTE=funkytuba;


round here, you don't have to be... you just have to show up :cool:[/QUOTE]

That's what they told me at the last job..must have been the short skirt.

[12"razormix]

RRRRRRRRRRRr..RRRRRR..rrh.. rrr!RRrHHc@*!!x\\' ..cchhhhCCCCCCCCCCCCH!!!!!



sorry.


hairball.

[zero]

^no problem

i'll just pop over to the cocktails bread and find out what's in it - ginger ale and something i think

[12"razormix]

your arse is upside down.

[zero]

i know and it wisnie cheap either


i was all afternoon at the arsedresser's salon - i'm going back for a partial refund tomorrow

[12"razormix]

it's nice and shiny though!

[zero]

thanks schtremee :) but i'm still not happy with it - the style's called the ♥self reflective arse♥

[12"razormix]

's like pudding in ma bucket. aye. ;)

[zero]

aye there's only one place for ma puddin - your bucket

[12"razormix]

that was innuendo wasni it?

[zero]

innuendo my arse

[12"razormix]

i wouldn't say that while my arse was sticking up like that, all upside down 'n shiny and stuff..

[craig johnston]

wanna piggy-back?

:)

[zero]

:mad: i'm never going back to another expensive arsedressing salon - bunch of crooks


i could do better myself

[12"razormix]

there is way too much hot ness going on in this thread. i feel all verklempt!

[zero]

wanna piggy-back?

:)


is that i type of arsedo?

[12"razormix]

you should use your spellcheck! :mad:

it's "i type FROM arsedo"


MORON! :mad:

[craig johnston]

is that i type of arsedo?

were you never a child? it's a game me and 12" play when we're bored.
we play it alot.

[12"razormix]

ahem.

[zero]

there's no such place as that arsedo



how about "a type OF arsestyle"?

[12"razormix]

"a type OF arsestyle"that's perfect :)
you go back there tomorrow and DEMAND a different type of arse style!

[brightpearl]

mmmm, tasty... nacho or bleu?

Nacho, ese.

[12"razormix]

hi pearl :) join the hot ness!

johnston is giving free piggybacks and viagra.

[craig johnston]

ahem.

this is the shameless flirting thread.
the slightly embarrassed flirting thread is somewhere else.

:rolleyes:

[craig johnston]

hi pearl :) join the hot ness!

johnston is giving free piggybacks and viagra.

as usual.

:)

[Tunesmith]

hi pearl :) join the hot ness!

johnston is giving free piggybacks and viagra.

No hot asian chix, craig?

you're losing your touch... :)

[craig johnston]

hot asian chix are for later. i'm just spreading the lurve....

:)

[T.I.P.]

i'm just spreading the lurve....


is that english for larvae ?

[craig johnston]

you never heard of barry white?

[brightpearl]

Barry White keeps me in business.

[craig johnston]

you wanna come round and listen to my barry white collection pearly?

;)

[brightpearl]

Sure, baby, as long as you understand that by "business" I did not mean prostitution.
:eek:

[craig johnston]

huh? that's jumping the gun a bit isn't it?
i was thinking more of the lights down low,
barry on the hi-fi, sparkling wine, etchings
type of evening.

[brightpearl]

HAHAHA!
You can't blame a girl for wanting to be clear!

Barry White keeps me in business.
My clients are pregnant women, is all. :D

A Barry and etchings evening sounds lovely!!

[craig johnston]

well, not tonight. the hot asian chix gang are coming round.
tunes wanted to meet them. maybe tuesday?

[Frieda]

what about my piggy back session??

[funkytuba]

we'll spread the cheese on over to you too, freeeds...

now where's that Spicy Jack when you need her?

[craig johnston]

oh no. the hot asian chix are far too delicate for that.

[Tunesmith]

well, not tonight. the hot asian chix gang are coming round.


That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!! :D

I knew they'd show up sooner or later...

[brightpearl]

well, not tonight. the hot asian chix gang are coming round.
tunes wanted to meet them.

Tell them to cover their eyeballs, then.

maybe tuesday?

Busy Tuesday...sweaty pregnant chix coming round.

[brightpearl]

Oh, and Tunes, you cover your eyes, too!!
http://www.rockingham.k12.va.us/sound_sorting/initial_blends/bl/images/blindfold.jpg

[Tunesmith]

Tell them to cover their eyeballs, then.

What's that supposed to mean?? :mad:

Some sort of commentary on my flirting skills?

[Frieda]

there's a booger on your blindfold and your chin

[Tunesmith]

Oh, and Tunes, you cover your eyes, too!!


Then how am I supposed to....oh.

[brightpearl]

What's that supposed to mean?? :mad:

Some sort of commentary on my flirting skills?

Yes!
*ahem*

Cheesy...like your, erm....eyes.

In the sense that cheese is delicious, and your eyes are...the ocular equivalent of...deliciousness...(

[Tunesmith]

Yes!
*ahem*

:D

You're never going to let me live that down, are you?

[brightpearl]

Aw, man. We're so bad at it we killed the thread.
:D

[Brynn]

I don't know much about flirting, but I know what I like.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

you know what you like or you know what you "like" like?

[Brynn]

mmmmmmm.
Like what?

[Brynn]

After some thought, I meant both. Of course. But it changes all the time, which in my opinion makes me just fascinating enough to stumble by with a smart alpha male type like yourself, bucko :)

But (yawn) can't wait around all night to flirt. It's lonesome around here.

[craig johnston]

h.fox's flirting technique is dynamite

:)

[brightpearl]

I need practice.

http://saturdaynight.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sock_puppets.jpg

--Hey there, sweet thing. You sure do fill out that sock nicely.

--Thanks, you too. *blush* Ooops, I have a loose thread. I hope no one pulls on it...

--The music in here is too loud. Wanna come back to my place and watch the...erm, Muppets?


Oh, bloody hell.

[craig johnston]

that would work on me.

;)

[brightpearl]

We could learn a lot from Piggy about how to be shameless.
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QaLxXI1sovc"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QaLxXI1sovc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[Brynn]

h.fox's flirting technique is dynamite

:)

Actually, it is. He's just elusive, that's all. I love that.

[craig johnston]

you love that or you "love" love that?


i dunno foxy, i can't see it working mate.

[Master_Jedi]

http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa271/animefan888/funnypic.jpg


i got ALL my lessons from this comic.

my favorite pick-up line.


lol

[Master_Jedi]

http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q1/chipmunkey2949/emopickuplines.jpg
haha

[Hyakujo's Fox]

i dunno foxy, i can't see it working mate.

you know I'm only here to make you look good johnston.

[brightpearl]

^Hfox is better at flirting with men than I am. :mad:

[Hyakujo's Fox]

mmm, you can say that again. :rolleyes:

[Marcus Bales]

Online
Brad Paisley

I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5'3 and overweight
I'm a Sci-fi fantatic
Mild athsmatic
Never been to 2nd base

But there's a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace

Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac

In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six
pack abs that'll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

When you got my kinda stats,
it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight
everytime I log on

Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

[Brynn]

^okay Marcus, you shameless hunk o' flirting...here, in the shameless flirting thread, posting your powerfully cynical posts with an air of resignation and boredom...why, I have to say that that last post had quite the effect, you towering intellect,you... you curable romantic, you undiscovered legend....there you go again, masquerading as a confirmed curmudgeon, a misunderstood critic when all the time it's a tender-hearted fool of a poet you are, only and always yearning for truth, illusion and reality to become one united thing in an absurdist's quest for beauty. The fact that you're too intelligent and world-weary for the rest of us here matters not. The fact that you're here betrays you.

O Marcus Marcus Marcus!
Do not rebuff those who would embrace you! Those who would flirt shamelessly with you if only they dared!

[brightpearl]

Walk walk walk..my dogs are barking.
Who has a foot fetish, then? :D

[Marcus Bales]

Keep the change

http://www.coinfacts.com/three_dollars/1882_Three_Dollar_Gold_Obv.jpg

[craig johnston]

brynn is hot!

[Marcus Bales]

Maybe so but I'm way way too old for her.

[craig johnston]

^^
true, and, errrm, gnarled is the word that springs to mind.

:o

[Marcus Bales]

Don't forget flabby and bald.

[12"razormix]

.. zero was here ?? :eek:

[zero]

SUHT UP


i'm a feeling very sensistive tonight

[12"razormix]

you should put some ointment on that.

[zero]

ok i will


now can i tell you what you should do?

[12"razormix]

you certainly can but you shouldn't..

[brightpearl]

^Get a room!

*sobs uncontrollably over shut up man's having left her bereft*

[zero]

you certainly can but you shouldn't..

ok i won't


"there's something wrong with him tonight" i hear you say


well if you must know i think i might be a wee bit PREMENATAL



:mad: SO SHUT UP

[12"razormix]

'mere

[zero]

^Get a room!

*sobs uncontrollably over shut up man's having left her bereft*



have a pie to console yourself

[Marcus Bales]

premenatal - the state of being before the menatal.

menatal - the state of being characterized by Dinzdalean romance, JesusTittiesque discretion, and JediMasterish charm.

[zero]

'mere

i don't know what's wrong - a cannie even get in the mood for debatin'ya :D

i think i need to sort maself out

[12"razormix]

blablablasorry but no.

[Tunesmith]

Prenatal? The shut up man's considering a baby? That's...erm...wonderful! :D

I wonder if squinty eyes and oily hair are inheritable traits...

[zero]

i second that


SUHT UP BALES

[Marcus Bales]

Originally Posted by Marcus Bales
blablabla

sorry but no.

LOL!

[brightpearl]

have a pie to console yourself

SHUT UP!
*chucks pie*

[Marcus Bales]

i second that


SUHT UP BALES

And there you have it, folks, the world champion flirter, Zeor!

[zero]

and you bales, are the world champion blether

SHUT PU

[brightpearl]

We should all go to the pub.

[zero]

yes, so you all should

[Marcus Bales]

and you bales, are the world champion blether

SHUT PU

Oh Rezo! My heart is fluttering within me! Stop it before I swoon, you smooth-tongued sweet-talker, you!

[Brynn]

hey zero:

how to make a space painting (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3481579607550400255)

[trisherina]

Crap on a cracker!! Is it the heat, or the stupidity?

[zero]

hey zero:
how to make a space painting (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3481579607550400255)Crap on a cracker!! Is it the heat, or the stupidity?

and you pair can SUHT UP in unison

[zero]

Oh Rezo! My heart is fluttering within me! Stop it before I swoon, you smooth-tongued sweet-talker, you!

bales next time you're in touch with your feminine side tell it to SHUT AP

[Audreyvgs]

http://www.audreyheffner.net/coacW.jpg

Thats christ on a cracker. I made refrigerator magnets.

[Frieda]

is christ on a cracker holding a sacred girthy pickle? :eek:

[Avalon]

Why yes, that is what it is. And someone stole mine, dammit. I still get to visit it tho. :p

[Marcus Bales]

bales next time you're in touch with your feminine side tell it to SHUT AP

As you know only too well, Ezor, that never works -- the feminine side just talks more, and louder. And brings up things you did ten years ago that weren't so cool, too.

Here's a classic flirtation, though, overheard at a rally on the Upper East Side:

Her: Infidel!
Him: Heretic!
Her: Blasphemer!
Him: Philistine!
Her: Spawn of Satan!
Him: Bourgeois Running Dog of Imperialism!
Her: Devil's child!
Him: Patronizing Colonizer!
Her: Sodomizing patron!
Him: Rusty Sears Crescent Wrench of the Mercantilists!
Her: Broken Needle-Nose Pliers of the Capitalists!
Him: Decadent Rotting Bloom of the Dying Root of Empire!
Her: Decaying Low-Tide Kelp of the Polluted Beach of Corporate Irresponsibility!
Him: Useless Superstructure on the Sinking Ship of Statism!
Her: Hazardous Material of the Environmental Wasteland!
Him: Mindless Visual Chewing Gum of the Television Producers!
Her: Air-Blown Popcorn of the Grade-B Movies!
Him: Worn Handle of the Thieving Carpetbaggers!
Her: Dull Blade of the Swiss Army Knife of the UN!
Him: High-cholesterol Spread on the Fried Fat Cracker of Internal Repression!
Her: Saturated Fat of the Corn Dogs on a Stick of the Foreign Service!
Him: Foaming Head on the Alcoholic Opiate of the Masses!
Her: Second-Hand Smoke of the Unfiltered Cigarette of the Pentagon!
Him: Dirty Needle of the Heroin-addiction of the IMF!
Her: Used Condom of the AIDS-infected Military-Industrial Complex!

[Frieda]

Why yes, that is what it is. And someone stole mine, dammit. I still get to visit it tho. :p

:D i love it! :D

[Brynn]

Him: Useless Superstructure on the Sinking Ship of Statism!
Her: Hazardous Material of the Environmental Wasteland!

Him: Mindless Visual Chewing Gum of the Television Producers!
Her: Air-Blown Popcorn of the Grade-B Movies!

Him: Dirty Needle of the Heroin-addiction of the IMF!
Her: Used Condom of the AIDS-infected Military-Industrial Complex!

LOL! :D makes me giddy.