Answer the question.. and then ask a new one

[Coffee]

Sorry...i'm a starving artist...two is all I can afford.


How many do you have?

[malina]

my mom used to say "if you want to see everything that you have, just close your eyes" :)


how many fish are in the ocean?

[Coffee]

which ocean?

[malina]

there. you ruined it!


are you happy now?

[Coffee]

I am happy at my efficiency at both answering and asking a question.


5,974,634,273,008?

[jaymirror]

Maybe.

What's the color of your socks?

[Coffee]

Today they are gray wool with speckles.


Did you see my reply to your question in the Ask Coffee thread?

[jaymirror]

I did thanks! That's reassuring!

Do you have an YIM?

[Coffee]

yes...I'm hardly ever on YIM though...i'll PM it to you though.


Are you happy to be wierd now?

[jaymirror]

Yes. I will make nice christmas cards hehe.

What music are yuo listening to?

[lapietra]

Radiohead - "Paranoid Android".


Should I go kiss Arthur's fluffy tummy while he sleeps?

[agentsmith]

yes, indubitably.



how are you going to get all that fur off your lips?

[Hermione]

Soap and Water...

what are you doing this weekend?

[agentsmith]

sleepover, movie, and a christmas party



whatcha been up to?

[Klynne]

Kicking myself in the ass for not being better prepared for my trip, and being a sucker in general.

And you?

[Perkina]

nngoo.

where's my mama and papa?


http://www.smanutrition.co.uk/img/products/followonmilk1.jpg

[malina]

they're both in the wrong place


want a hug?

[Perkina]

yesh pleeeeesh . . .


who are YOU?

[Perky Pat]

i'm your papa.

want to sit beside me on my sitzbank?

[malina]

i'd love to!


are you in a good mood?

[Klynne]

I am as happy as a lark, except I have a sh#t load of presents to wrap, and packing to do, and I am playing on this board instead of getting it done. I will give myself til 7:00 to play.

And you?

[Coffee]

I am holding my breath until you, Klynne, reply to this post.


uhhh...you haven't left for vacation yet have you?

[Klynne]

Not yet, I do not leave until the 28th, hopefully Rmr and I are going to have a drink in Chicago. Then I am off like a prom dress.

Why am I such a fool?

[masterofNone]

you are young.




why do fools fall in love?

[lapietra]

Same reason smart people do. It's yummy.


Does anybody actually like wintergreen candy canes?

[priceyfatprude]

I've never had one, so I can't say for sure.

Do you like blueberry candy canes?

[lapietra]

mmmm... I'm sure I would if I had one!


Is it time yet?

[Klynne]

Not just yet, wait be patient

Who do you love, who do you love?

[lapietra]

Not saying. Don't want to jinx it.


Why does it have to be so flippin' HARD???

[SpecialK]

Take a break and try again.

What happened to the cap to my eyeliner?

[lapietra]

Gnomes have absconded with it.


Can I have one more mint?

[SpecialK]

Oh hunny, take as many as you want! They're fat free! YAY!

What's grandpa doing with the egg nog?

[lapietra]

He appears to be pouring it down his pants. Please take it from him.


How many somersaults can you do in a row?

[SpecialK]

I can't do any, my feet are afraid of heights.

Can you find grandpa some new khakis?

[Coffee]

We seem to be out of Khaki...Could we interest him in a nice pair of 2nd hand Desert Storm Camo Fatique pants instead...and perhaps this slightly worn M-16 rifle with 5X night sight and laser motion sensor attachment?


And would he like a short vacation in the desert over christmas time and "shortly after"?

[Klynne]

Grandpa says he wasn't born yesterday, and he'd rather go buy his pants somewhere else.

Will you?

[Coffee]

will I what?

Will I what?

[Klynne]

You know, that funny little party trick you do so well.

Will you?

[Coffee]

*makes convincing trumpet sound by buzzing lips*

That?

[Klynne]

No, the other one...

You honestly don't remember?

[Coffee]

*juggles 3 coffee beans with lampshade blindfold on*

That one?

[Klynne]

Thats it! You usually do it naked, but, then you usually have had a few nips off the keg by then.

How are you today?

[Coffee]

Dr. Lala's patended hangover remedies helped tremendously. I am myself today.

Should I bake presents today...or play on the board?

[agentsmith]

BAKE



will i get to lick the spoon?

[rmr]

I think you've baked enough and you know what i'm talking about.

What am i supposed to do with this?

[Coffee]

Light that end and suck on the other.


Who wants to lick this?

[Klynne]

Me, Me, Me,

Um, what is it?

[Red Princess]

you shoulda asked that first

what will you do next time?

[Klynne]

I will ask to see what it is first before I agree to lick it.

Would you wrap my Christmas presents for me?

[Red Princess]

sure

where is the curly ribbon?

[Klynne]

Here it is.

That's nice, where did you learn to wrap like that?

[Perky Pat]

I worked in a fish and chip shop when i was sixteen.

salt and vineger?

[Klynne]

Yes both thanks.

Does something smell funny in here?

[masterofNone]

no, it's just you.

what is the real meaning of christmas?

[lapietra]

It's those little Hershey's kisses you find in the toe of your stocking.


Aren't you glad I solved that for you?

[masterofNone]

yes... but wait... that's not chocolate!


who crapped in my socks this time?

[lapietra]

I think it's that guest who's always reporting a post....


Is it too early for some Bailey's?

[Red Princess]

Not at all

crushed or cubed ice?

[Klynne]

Straight up thanks.

You were supposed to wrap my presents, and here they are unwrapped. What is your major malfunction?

[Frieda]

i like zeboard too much.


when oh when will i find a place to live??

[lapietra]

When you come to California and buy the house next door to me (it's for sale).


Is it okay to scramble eggs with olive oil?

[Red Princess]

of course

is relief in sight?

[Frieda]

i hope so, i´m getting fed up with this crap!


why don´t these farking liteon burners fit behind my stealthed brackets!

[Klynne]

You put it together backwards.

Is dinner ready yet?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

Almost

Anyone have any aspirin?

[Magpie]

No, but I've got rum.

Is Christmas over yet?

[Red Princess]

yes, finally


want some Bailey's in your coffee?

[Perky Pat]

no thanks, i just brushed my teeth with bailey's and i've still got the taste of it.

where's the remote-control?

[malina]

right there, on the settee


good morning!

[Klynne]

I think you mistook it for you cell phone last night and it is out in you car.

Why can't I ever sleep in untill noon?

[dinzdale]

Because the customers start showing up at about 11.


Anyone else pretending to work today?

[bealeblues]

i have been working, actually, but with a beer to keep me company


what are the odds that i don't work anymore over the whole weekend although i know i should?

[dinzdale]

Youll do as your boss orders you.



Glad we dont have snow?

[bealeblues]

ecstatic. simply ecstatic......


how many bottles of absolut will i consume b/t now and new years?

[dinzdale]

Less than 1....you're due to collapse from a very nasty STD tonight. You'll be peeeing through a catheter til February.


Can someone cheer me up?

[masterofNone]

apparently not.



how young is too young?

[dinzdale]

42.



Anyone else?

[bealeblues]

let's see..... everyone likes you the best dinz, even frank....


how's that?

[dinzdale]

Limp.


Can you hear me now?

[bealeblues]

i can hear you and you can kiss my ass!!!! JOJ


what will you be drinking tonight? beer or hard likker?

[dinzdale]

Drambuie Light.



Are you sure you cant hear me now?

[bealeblues]

i sort of hear you, but my wimmins keep distracting me.....


why are you still at work past 5?

[dinzdale]

I'm important.....at least I think that's what the doctor said....


Anyone up for a beer right now?

[Coffee]

you buying Dinz?

[dinzdale]

Ready and able Captain.


Got some dollar bills?

[Coffee]

ya...but !!!


Aren't YOU buying?

[dinzdale]

Yes I'm buying the beer, but the entertainment needs tipping.


You do like naked women gyrating in your face and rubbing about all over your thighs dont you?

[Coffee]

what!?!...and spill my beer? I should have known you would be drinking here...1 dollar beer and 5 dollar lap dances...cheap fark.

How bout I buy the beer then?
:D

[dinzdale]

Lead on McDuff....


Can you hear the slamming of the door?

[bealeblues]

i just did.....

how long before mr. nutter shows up?

[Red Princess]

Originally posted by Coffee
you buying Dinz?

i am not going to buy dinz, i have heard that he can be had for free.

anyone want to see what that pervert santa left in my stocking?

[Magpie]

I want to see what that pervert Santa left in your stocking.

Dare I ask who Mr. Nutter is?

[lapietra]

He's either Beale's or Dinz's imaginary friend... they don't like to drink alone. ;)


You think Klynne ever cured her hiccups?

[Magpie]

I sure hope so! BTW, holding the world hicupp record; "Mr. Osborne holds the record for continuous hiccupping. Mr. Osborne started hiccupping in 1922 and did not stop until 1990! ".

Is this Beale/Dinz's party buddy "Mr. Nutter"? (Google tells me so)

http://www.angrypoodle.net/images/nutter.jpg

[Red Princess]

i'm sorry
what was the question?

[Coffee]

You should be sorry for not paying attention in class.

How do you like it in that corner wearing the dunce cap?
http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/rogerbb/dunce.jpg

[Red Princess]

i like it fine over here

how would you like to bend over?

[Coffee]

I would love to...however this lumbago is killing my back.


Another time perhaps?

[agentsmith]

NO!


is that....a real prada bag?

[Red Princess]

yes, got it on sale

you like?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

I really do

Where can I get some?

[funkytuba]

No... wait wait wait wait... that bag says "PradO" not "PradA"


Is the FTC knocking on your door now?

[Red Princess]

no, it was the goofy guy upstairs with the pet rabbit.


is it time to go shopping?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

OF COURSE IT'S TIME TO SHOP!!! *whips out credit cards*

Platinum or gold?

[Red Princess]

let's take both....

shoes or lingerie?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

Why not both? (counts as answer and question!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!)

[masterofNone]

i have no feet.



have you no eyes?

[Red Princess]

fine by me

what kind of shoes do you like?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

Jimmy Choo (sp?)


What kind of lingerie do you like? (wow that's a personal question)

[Red Princess]

all kinds, lacy, silky, white, colors, tops, bottoms, made of string.....


will i have to buy a new dressser for all this stuff?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

I believe you will


Should we buy whole new furniture?

[Red Princess]

no, i think i can match what i already have.

will a lot of little drawers be better than a few big ones?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

It really depends on if you sort your undies by color like I do. I prefer lots of little drawers.


What do you think of this dresser?

[Red Princess]

Very Nice,

can i get it with custom hardware?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

Of course you can...the tag says so

Do you know where the custom hardware guy is?

[Red Princess]

he is at the bar drinking screwdrivers


why am i so tired?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

Because the new year is coming around. Everyone gets tired when it comes around.


Will I be able to go home tonight?

[Red Princess]

of course, go home , go to bed early

why are there no pizza places in my area that deliver? wankers

[Magpie]

Face it RP you live in the sticks.

I wonder if I will I become fabulously wealthy in 2004?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

I often wonder that myself. The Magic 8 Ball says..."It is possible."

Who else loves the Magic 8 Ball?

[Perky Pat]

i know nothing of such matters.

wtf's a "Magic 8 Ball"?

[Red Princess]

if we told you we would have to kill you


don't live in the sticks, (snooty beach town) i coulda had sushi delivered, who the hell has sushi delivered?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

People who like sushi but are too lazy to go get it themselves


How old is too old to play in the play pit at Mac Donald's?

[masterofNone]

it's size, not age, that matters.


does this apply to other things as well?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

Most things but not all.

How big is too big to play in the play pit?

[masterofNone]

48 inches


does this apply to other things as well?

[~*WickedAngel*~]

A few things


Does anyone else find that to be a little on the unfair side?

[lapietra]

Hey, everything is unfair to someone...


How could I possibly have forgotten to buy cat food?

[funkytuba]

Too busy anticipating webcams and rum, p'raps.


Why won't the emergency broadcast system give us messages we can actually understand?

[Frieda]

really, i have no idea!


do you have a hangover?

[Perky Pat]

i'm ok (now)

what's that ringing noise?

[Frieda]

that's MY hangover you're hearing!!


what time did you get out of bed today?

[lapietra]

a little after 10...



do you think the cats notice if you feed them a different brand of cat food?

[Perky Pat]

11 am (and then straight onto my settee :) )

why do we do it?

[Frieda]

cats will notice, but i don't think they will care!

and we do it because it's fun.



will it snow again tomorrow?

[Tall Thin Duke]

I don't know ...did it?

do you like Chocolate Hail?

[Frieda]

yes i like chocolate hail! but chocolate isn't good for me.. *sniff*
(and it did snow! :D)


where is that doctor's bill??

[xerocs]

In the mail.

What did I miss?

[Frieda]

everything!

why are you posting so much?

[Frieda]

everything!

why are you posting so much?

[lapietra]

He's in hell. Anything is a diversion.


Will today be the day I take down my poor little dried-up tree?

[priceyfatprude]

Yes.

Am I a wuss for not going outside yesterday in the subzero temperatures?

[masterofNone]

no.


will peg ever return?

[Coffee]

I hope so.


Is there an elephant in the room that no one is talking about?

[priceyfatprude]

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Are we going to 'find' Bin-Laden a month before the Presidential Election?

[Coffee]

Naaa...he's probably on CIA payroll...and still useful to evil farks.


Am I tooo cynical?

[Red Princess]

i don't think so

who else thinks turkmenistan is next?

[Coffee]

Scared peeps in turkmenistan.


Given that it is an election year...do you think that anymore countries will be invaded by the US... Or will P.R. efforts instead be made to make it look like previous invasions worked out great for everyone involved?

[rmr]

georgie should do what ever he wants. that makes him happy.

should i wait??

[Perky Pat]

no. do it right now.

what are you waiting for?

[lapietra]

An engraved invitation.


Strawberry or apricot?

[rmr]

i prefer plain.

may i toss this??

[Perky Pat]

no sorry i've already tossed it.

can you believe how far it went?

[rmr]

no, i can't and to tell you the truth it's giving me the willies.


are you upset?

[Red Princess]

not anymore

want some of this?

[Coffee]

No thanks

What is that?

[Red Princess]

none of your business, it is not for you.

anyone for a nice cold beer?

[masterofNone]

got one thanks.




where did i learn to talk like that?

[Red Princess]

don't know, not from me

why is there an extra spot color in this file?

[Magpie]

Give that spot back, it's mine.

Did you learn that language in the circus?

[Coffee]

Ha. Hahahaho. ho ho ladies and gents. HO HO aha...jump twist grab. *waves and smiles*


Is it possible to care if you are not sure that you don't know whether or not you care if you remember if you have had too much?

[Magpie]

I don't know Coffee but it sounds like you've had too much to me!

Doesn't Coffee look smashing in those tights and tutu?

;)

[lapietra]

In a word - fantastic. (Interpret how you will.)


Should I wear the bowler or the pillbox with this outfit?

[Perky Pat]

the bowler. definitely the bowler.

have you always had a good head for a hat?

[lapietra]

It's a bit difficult now with all this foliage... but I've been told I do. :)


Can I have a little of what you're having?

[Perky Pat]

sure... here you are. THAT'S ENOUGH FFS!

what do you think?

[lapietra]

Lots and lots of things.


Shall I tell you?

[Perky Pat]

yes.

now?

[lapietra]

Of course! No time like the present.


Are you sitting comfortably?

[priceyfatprude]

Why yes, thank you.

Would you like some tea?

[lapietra]

mmmm yes tea thank you very much!


May I offer you some lime tea bread with that? I just baked it recently...

[Perky Pat]

well my word and bless my soul. how jolly nice of you to ask.

this is all very prim and proper is it not?

[lapietra]

Yes. Well, wait a few minutes, and all that will change... it always does... :)


How far down does that go?

[Red Princess]

all the way down to heeeeere.

too much clevage?

[dinzdale]

Not for that rude tart.


How about now?

[Red Princess]

if it goes down that far you will need tape to hold it in place.


you cold?

[dinzdale]

Shrinkage !! It's shrinkage!!


IS this more impressive?

[Red Princess]

well. yes. even more so if i thought it was real


what do you take me for?

[lapietra]

A peppermint latte and a maple oat nut scone, if you like...


Shouldn't you do that more often?

[red]

yes, but I'd never get ANY work done.

How do you want it?

[rmr]

singles are fine

where has jaymirror gone??

[priceyfatprude]

Back to Italy for Winter Break.

Is there a law stating that the dental hygienist has to leave half of the toothpaste in your mouth after she cleans your teeth? *grit grit grit*

[red]

yes, it's under section 4.3, paragraph q.

who's your daddy?

[Tall Thin Duke]

My Father

Shall i eat Pasta or Fish?

[dinzdale]

This time of night in Watford....have a kebab.


Is it really all that bad?

[red]

not if I hold my breath

wanna cookie?

[dinzdale]

No thank you....my body is my temple.



Lard sandwich?

[red]

temple of doom

um, no thanks, I had a lovely lunch.

why is there air?

[Frieda]

to breathe!


quit job?

[red]

hmmm, only if you have something better lined up.

where is my button?

[Red Princess]

on your belly

will i get therapy?

[red]

not likely.

will our brand change?

[dinzdale]

Brands are permanent like tattoos.



Ya think?

[red]

sure, I'll try anything once.

where should I vacation this year?

[Frieda]

amsterdam


soup, anyone?

[Coffee]

Is soup on? Hell yes.


Hey...what are these white things floating in this soup?

[Frieda]

marshmallows!


like em?

[Coffee]

Oh ya...thats cool...yumm.


Hey...whats these brown things at the bottom here?

[Frieda]

beef strips!



do you like the smell of vanilla?

[Tall Thin Duke]

Not really i like the smell of good coffee and dogs feet but not at the same time

my head hurts should i go to bed?

[lapietra]

Most definitely.

Is it more important to wear a perfume that *you* like or that others seem to like?

[RevEf]

It depends on the situation and your own tendencies, but I'd say you should usually wear a scent you like.

If I feel unmotivated to do important things in my life, is there anything less silly than motivational tapes and such to help me?

[xerocs]

unplug the computer and get outside... that works for me.

Why do inbred people have to prove it by wearing mullets?

[ambo]

because they can...

is you is or is you ain't my baby ?

[Magpie]

I'd like you to take me out to dinner before I answer that question Ambo. ;)

What do you get when you fall in love?

[Tall Thin Duke]

Inner peace and a tranquility that trancends anything that you have ever felt before ,your whole being fills with a sense of belonging never experienced before ....oh and of course a regular F@*k:eek:

Now who would win in a fight ? Oliver Hardy or Lou Costello?
Of course this is only a hyperthetical question as they were from differing era's so lets say when they were both in their physical prime and the same age say......35 thats years not stones/pounds etc .

[Hermione]

Lou Costello

what is your favorite dinner meal?

[priceyfatprude]

Pasta. I'm a fvcking wop.

Why couldn't the Packers pull it off today?

[lapietra]

I have no answer for that. But we must carry on.


Was my cat Schroeder somehow genetically engineered to be the best cat in the world (don't tell the others) to make up for the fact that my life is otherwise being a bit frustrating?

[chuckie egg]

I think he naturally is :)


Why cant I sign into Yahoo!?

[bealeblues]

b/c my office administrators are systematically dismantling all yahoo access. they started with mine, but it seems they have now branched out to the U.K.


how many more hours to go?

[RuneT]

http://messenger.yahoo.com/

"Launch Yahoo! Web Messenger Beta "

is this blocked too?

[chuckie egg]

3 and a half

What SHALL I wear tonight??

[masterofNone]

chanel. and nothing else



what should I do with all my free time?

[RevEf]

discover your True Self.
Alternately, knit.

Can you take this thing to Warp 8?

[Red Princess]

yes, but we will need more dilithium crystals soon.

is she going to offer me enough money?

[ambo]

yes, and a car


what is the meaning of meaningless ?

[Red Princess]

it means have a beer and relax, it will all work out in the end


where's that goddam bucket of chicken?

[jaymirror]

No clue.

1, 2, or 3?

[rmr]

three.

why do you ask?

[Audreyvgs]

because i never ask a question I don't already know the answer to.


where did all that money go?

[jaymirror]

I saw it turn left at the traffic light and then lost it from my view.

Do you miss it?

[Magpie]

More than you know.

I wonder if it's making someone really happy?

[red]

it better be, it was huge!

will they change the logo?

[rmr]

they will. they always do

May I yell "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE ANYMORE" as loud as i can right now?

(i know it's from a movie - jeesh) :)

[bealeblues]

i thought you already did that.


sweet or sour?

[rmr]

sour

do i look angry??

[bealeblues]

you look like a sour girl to me.


what will it take to make you tell your boss to fark off today?

[rmr]

her showing up

Will all this candy help??

[bealeblues]

not a bit. copious amounts of alcohol will do wonders though.


so what time are you going to start drinking today?

[masterofNone]

already started.

if candy is dandy, is liquor quicker

[Deviate]

liquor is both dandy and quicker. it is also candy. sweet, delicious candy.



where have all the flowers gone?

[RevEf]

You made them into dandelion wine, don't you remember?

Do you know why we've all asked you to come here?

[Deviate]

yes.


where was i?

[jaymirror]

somewhere else

or not?

[RevEf]

Signs point to nuh-unh.


Should I compromise my morals to save my hide?

[masterofNone]

you can live without your morals.



can the same be said of your hide?

[RevEf]

It appears that the point is moot. Apparently my hide is made of fullerene wrapped in asbestos sprayed with that Stain Defender stuff you see on the TV.

When will the other shoe drop, though?

[jaymirror]

When times are ready.

Sing or draw?

[chuckie egg]

BOTH!

Is it friday yet?

[jaymirror]

In the zeweek it's the day you want it to be.

Should i go to training?

[chuckie egg]

Most definitely

I shouldn't pick my nose infront of my boss should I?

[jaymirror]

do it only if you are sure he's watching

how much will it take to clean up this room?

[Red Princess]

just a small bulldozer

why did i stay up so late?

[Tall Thin Duke]

Because you wanted to finish that sweater you are knitting.

who's the sweater for?

[funkytuba]

me. i'm cold



What PANTS should I wear with the sweater?

[daverbee]

I'd suggest a kilt.

Is it really that cold?

[Avalon]

Don't look under the kilt;)

Has anyone seen my crazy neighbor lately?

[priceyfatprude]

Last time I looked in the mirror. ;)

Should I go grocery shopping after the gym?

[catbelly]

No way, go beforehand and drag the stinky cheese and chicken breasts from machine to machine with you!

Why is my nose suddenly all runny?!