Answer the question.. and then ask a new one

[Coffee]

Perhaps that little mouse butt bouncing in front of your nose is causing a bit of irritation?

Does *that* tickle?

[catbelly]

OMG, you *know* that tickles ;)


Should I go home soon?

[rapscalious rob]

YES! GO HOME NOW!!!

Is your office all neat and tidy?

[catbelly]

Pshaw on neat and tidy (in other words, NO).


Why, is yours?

[rapscalious rob]

Unfortunately, no.

Can you tango?

[Avalon]

It takes two to tango, so, no.

What is that fragrance you're wearing?

[catbelly]

"Snake Oil" from the Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs.


When are you going to tell the tale of the hot mailman?

[Avalon]

As soon as I figure out where to post it lol

Aren't you afraid you'll be disappointed?

[Avalon]

For Catbelly...
til I get the story written..here is a photo of WHY I went for the mailman :)

oops..sorry..Mailman found out and flipped out lol

[Magpie]

No, I'm afraid of my mailman though.

Do mailmen really know how to deliver? ;)

[rapscalious rob]

Of course they do.

Do you sing when nobody is looking?

[madasacutsnake]

I only sing when no-one is listening.

Does tinea cream work?

[rapscalious rob]

I asked it to file some papers for me, and it just sat there, so no.

Have you heard of chindogu?

[madasacutsnake]

Google says it's a weird tool.

Are you trying to tell us something?

[Spicy Jack]

I thought I made it quite clear.

What did you think of it?

[lapietra]

It was sort of like a wombat.

How long do you think it will take?

[maychorian]

At least fifteen minutes.

Did it work?

[Avalon]

no, it, like my ex-hunband, it just sits there

can we buy in bulk?

[catbelly]

Ex-husbands, thankfully, no.


Did we have the same ex-husband?

[Willow Sylph]

For your sake, I hope not.

What're the chances of that?

[daverbee]

Pretty slim, I've never been married and don't intend to be.

Am I missing anything?

[Willow Sylph]

Apparently you're missing a good wife.

Did someone break your heart?

[daverbee]

More often than I can count.

Is it too late for ice cream?

[catbelly]

It is never too late for ice cream!

What kind is your favourite?

[Aphrodite]

Turtles Ice cream

Do you eat dessert every day?

[nycwriters]

nope, once in a while

will I get out early tonight?

damn it ... too slow!

[priceyfatprude]

Does it matter, now that you don't have to fight traffic?

Wanna hire me?

[nycwriters]

let me get preggo first ;)

when are you coming back?

[priceyfatprude]

Another Halloween in the Village for us. Unless Ze stages his ONE-MAN-SHOW before then.

Do the kitties miss me?

[nycwriters]

Fatty fat fat has been wandering around looking for you. She says hi.

What should I do tomorrow?

[priceyfatprude]

Finish your homework & explore your new 'hood on foot.

Will you give Purr Purr Face a hug for me?

[nycwriters]

Of course! :D

What's your worst vice?

[Deviate]

sex and booze

what's in your pocket?

[nycwriters]

quarters.... no, really.

what time do you usually go to sleep these days?

[Deviate]

midnight. i'm an early bird again.


what's the forecast for tomorrow?

[Willow Sylph]

another hot and smoggy one.

What're the chances of me gettin' out of LA without lung cancer?

[madasacutsnake]

About the same as you getting out without mesothelioma or purulent pneumonia.

Any-one have a spare sputum mug?

[Avalon]

Sorry, just sold the last one.

Have you considered a hazmat suit?

[daverbee]

Nah! Too bulky and prone to punctures.

Should I sweep the floor?

[Spicy Jack]

Sputum isn't the easiest thing to sweep up, too gooey :mad:

Are you feelin alright?

[Avalon]

Not since sweeping up the sputum:eek:

Is the vacation schedule posted yet?

[dinzdale]

Yup....you have February 2005.

Ok?

[Willow Sylph]

If you say so, dinz.

Well... do you?

[dinzdale]

It's not up to me, I just read the minutes from committee.

Is that one yours or are you borrowing it?

[Avalon]

They are both mine, thanks for asking.

Might I ask where you got yours?

[dinzdale]

I bought it in Morrocco years ago.

Does it suit me?

[Magpie]

I prefer the one with tassles on you.

Do these maracas make my butt look big?

[dinzdale]

Of course not. They do emphasise your attributes though.


Anyone ever done THIS?

[Willow Sylph]

Only when I'm feeling extremely uninhibited.

I thought I told you all about it the other night over the phone.

[Spicy Jack]

What were you doing with a fire extinguisher, in your underwear, in the rain?

I started to grumble

[McFlibbish]

Jack I think you missed the point - answer *then* question.

You do have a question, don't you?

[daverbee]

He probably does now.

Is Bill O'Reilly a bed wetter?

[Avalon]

Yes, and a nose picker.

Didn't you see him admit it on his show?

[dinzdale]

No I missed it. I was watching Psycho Cycle Sluts III (again) on Disney Channel.


Is this your's?

[Avalon]

Thanks, I thought for sure I had lost it.

Where ever did you find it?

[Spicy Jack]

I found it when I woke up.

how does it work?

[catbelly]

You push the red button.

I just ate three cloves of garlic... who wants to talk to me closeupinperson?

[Avalon]

Ummm, no, a handshake will do nicely.

Are you afraid of kissing vampires??

[maychorian]

Are you kidding? Vampires are afraid of kissing me.

What's the weather like down there?

[Dark Chocolate]

It’s always hot “down there.”

Hungry?

[daverbee]

Not really.

You?

[Avalon]

Nope, just ate.

Ready for vacation?

[daverbee]

Desperately!

Is it OK to nap on company time?

[Avalon]

Anytime you feel the need:)

Is it almost quitting time?

[daverbee]

Way past it, as a matter of fact.

Are you gonna finish that?

[agentsmith]

of course! get away from me!


what are you doing?

[madasacutsnake]

Pelvic floor excercises, not what you thought pervert.

Is that thing for any-one to use?

[daverbee]

Depends on whether you've been certified to use it.

Do I have to go to work now?

[RuneT]

Yes, others are in charge of your life now. For 8 hours.

Do you ever lick those 9V batteries?

[Avalon]

A car battery is better. More juice ;)

Ever try one?

[RuneT]

I'm not gene simmons, hehe. No not a car battery but I'm sure that I can handle 12V.

[Aphrodite]

*ahem*

Do you want to ask anyone a question?

[RuneT]

Hehe, yes.

Ok, what's the last thing you licked?

[Aphrodite]

My plate when no one was looking. ;)

When is the last time you swung on some swings in a playground?

[masterofNone]

ummmm... a couple of months ago.

when was the last time you tasted honeysuckle?

[Willow Sylph]

I don't believe I've ever tasted honeysuckle.
Is it tasty?

[daverbee]

Very much so!

Anything else you need to know?

[Spicy Jack]

Yeah...

Will my college degree ever matter?

[Avalon]

Yes, wait and see.

You wanted it to be now though, right?

[daverbee]

Now isn't the time to be discussing this.

Would you like to supersize that?

[Avalon]

In order to try to pretend fries aren't fattening, we will now only carry the regular size.;)

When did you start work at McD's???!!

[daverbee]

Never have, never will.

Do you really think you're leaving the house dressed like that?

[Willow Sylph]

Of course not. I'll just change clothes after I leave.

What're you going to do about it?

[Avalon]

Just gaze at my new photo of Hugh Jackman and let your mom take care of it.

What's her number again?

[daverbee]

Eight-six-seven-five-three-Oh-Nieeine!

Have you ever worn a kilt to a wedding?

[madasacutsnake]

There is no place I haven't worn a kilt. When I was a kid, my mom was obssessed with them.

Why can you never find a box the right size?

[Wldchld]

Because the box co.s like to mess w/ your head. Every one of them suckers are just a little too big or a little too small. Drives you crazy.:)


What was the last toy you played with?

[madasacutsnake]

Paint and glitter.

If gene therapy is discovered for protein based developmental disorders, would it still work on an affected adult? Or only on an undeveloped child?

[Avalon]

I am going with the underdeveloped child for $100 Alex. (But what do I know!?!)


Is this going to be on the final?

[daverbee]

You won't know that 'til it's all over.

Are you gonna finish that?

[Avalon]

Yes, and maybe order seconds:)

Have had Key Lime Iced Tea yet?

[daverbee]

Not yet.

Where do you get it?

[Avalon]

http://www.hpphoto.com/sessions/433281455006/36679177sm.jpg

At a local specialty store.

Would you like more information on this?

[noxxville]

Not unless there are pictures involved.

How many times do I need to repeat myself?

[Spicy Jack]

I'm sorry I didn't hear you.

Is key lime tea creamy?

[Avalon]

No, it is clear and refreshing.

Did you buy the shower gift?

[lapietra]

I plead the Fifth.

How many grams of sodium does that have?

[Avalon]

Not nearly enough, here is the salt.

Why is that man singing?

[noxxville]

Because the voices tell him to.

Exactly how much is the whole enchilada?

[daverbee]

Twice as much as half the enchilada.

Do you really want to do that?

[Avalon]

No, it is a dirty job and someone has to do it.


Have you considered joining the Moonies?

[daverbee]

Don't want no religion.

Is it really almost quittin' time?

[daverbee]

No, it's almost time to go back.

Did I just answer myself?

[chuckie egg]

I believe you did.

Do I have enough time left for this?

[daverbee]

You must have had.

Ready?

[red]

I'm always ready.

Where are we going?

[chuckie egg]

To the pub.

Are you coming?

[Avalon]

I'll meet you there!

Can you lend me some money?

[Spicy Jack]

You still owe me $ from last night!

What time are we going?

[daverbee]

As soon as they open.

Mind if we make a stop first?

[nycwriters]

Not at all.

Are you sure you can't tell me where we're going?

[Spicy Jack]

I'm positive.

So do you think I look better in the red one or the blue one?

[Avalon]

You look great in either one, so buy them both!

Has anyone seen the remote?

[nycwriters]

I think the dog ate it.

Will it be fancy?

[Aphrodite]

Semi Formal.

Am I going to have to buy a dress?

[nycwriters]

I think so, but I might have shoes you can borrow.

Will we drink champagne?

[Willow Sylph]

Only if there are strawberries to go with it.

Are they in season right now?

[Avalon]

I think so, I see them in all the stores.

You're not allergic, are you?

[Magpie]

I am, but mostly to housework.

How's your flower arangement class coming along?

[Red Princess]

i keep sneezing and ruining the flowers


can i set up the ftp site now or should i wait?

[zenbabe]

wait...it is always better to procrastinate...

Will I ever meet any new friends in this God forsaken town?

[daverbee]

As long as you don't pick any more fights for no apparent reason, yes.

How do you make your mouth do that?

[madasacutsnake]

It's all in the genes.

Why do you keep leaving kleenex in your jeans when I wash them?

[Avalon]

I love lint!

Your department head called here; do you have something you need to share with me?

[daverbee]

I did but you never showed up and I got hungry so I ate it all.

How did you ever let it get in that condition?

[Spicy Jack]

I thought it would go away. Plus, I don't like going to the doctor.

Is it still red?

[Avalon]

Well, yeah..and a few others colors now as well.

The subway, David Blaine, and Cher

[daverbee]

Where was the murder of Mr. Body performed, who committed the act, and what kind of weapon was used?

I should hope so!

[Avalon]

I screwed this thread up.

Is it on back on track with this post?

[zenbabe]

Maybe..but it's a secret....


Should I be afraid of mad cow disease?

[agentsmith]

not as afraid as you should be of my chainsaw up your ass!!!!!!!

you wouldnt do that.......would you?

[Spicy Jack]

you obviously don't know me.

Is that your real hair color?

[Avalon]

It's really mine for this month;)

Can a stitch in time really save 9?

[noxxville]

Only if 9 is in danger.

What makes water wet?

[daverbee]

The fact that it's underwater.

What did he know and when did he know it?

[madasacutsnake]

He knew he was in danger when he lit the match and saw the gas.

Why is it called Good Friday?

[Avalon]

Because I don't have to work.

Why won't the chicken do as I ask?

[madasacutsnake]

At least you can get the page to load.

Perhaps you should stop asking him to do that? It's illegal anyway.

[Avalon]

Not just illegal, but illegal in 37 states and D.C.!!

Why can't you get the page to load? No flash?

[madasacutsnake]

I have flash and broadband.

Maybe it's jammed?

[catbelly]

It looks jellied to me ...


Should I eat my chocolate bunny?

[madasacutsnake]

You should savour every bite.

Should I quit my diet?

[Aphrodite]

Not quit. Have no other treats besides a bite or two of chocolate everyday until it is done.

Can I have a Cherry blossom?

[madasacutsnake]

Only if it's covered in chocolate.

Don't they look nice in bloom?

[Avalon]

Yes they are; I have never seen Chocolate Cherry Blossoms bloom before.


Do you think they can cause a rash?

[madasacutsnake]

It's not cherry blossoms that caused that rash.....

Have you got a canker too?

[Avalon]

Yeah, but it's not sore:p

Do you think we should beam down to the surface, Captain?

[madasacutsnake]

No, it's good quality synthetic quilt stuffing they need, not down.

Do people still match their wine and food?

[funkytuba]

Only when preparing a burnt offering.



Is your back as sore as mine is?

[Coffee]

Probably, but mine is in neck shoulder area.

Where does your back hurt?

[Avalon]

Same places as yours.

Is that available in any other color?

[catbelly]

Yes, but it costs twice as much.


Do you trust the magic 8-ball?

[lapietra]

Hell, no.


Can I go to bed now?

[Avalon]

Brush your teeth first!

Where did park the car?

[lapietra]

Where I always park it.


What do you call corn *off* the cob?

[Avalon]

Frozen or canned ;)

Do you think we really sent men to the moon?

[lapietra]

Yes... but they were *very tiny*.


Is that a baby version?

[daverbee]

Yes but in the industrial size box.

Why can't I hit that high note?

[lapietra]

You didn't squeeze hard enough. ;)

Why do some people dress animals up in little outfits?

[dinzdale]

Because they are sick twisted bastards.


Should I calm down?

[lapietra]

You should do whatever makes you happy, dear Dinz. :)

Is is bad that my toenails are a different color than my fingernails?

[Coffee]

Only if your wearing both open toe shoes and bicycling gloves.

Has Lala been busy on the board today?

[daverbee]

Somebody had to be!

Are I-beams just H-beams lying on their sides?

[Coffee]

No...totally different. I beams handle vertical loads, whereas H beams are designed for horizontal stresses. Note the different lengths of the "Caps" and you will understand how they are designed apropriatly for their roles.


Ummm...your not building a house are you???

[daverbee]

No, actually I was staring at the I-beam above my head and just got to thiinking about letters.

Any truth to that rumor?

[Coffee]

I doubt it.

but...hmmm...what rumor?

[lapietra]

Ohh.... nothing..... *walks away whistling tunelessly*


Can it really be almost time for lunch? :eek:

[Spicy Jack]

Yes. Thank goodness!

What are you having?

[lapietra]

Didn't have time to pack much & no money, so it's creamy Ramen, a salad, and tamari cashews.

How about you?

[Spicy Jack]

probably Del Taco. yep, health food :p

Why must the good stuff be so bad?

[lapietra]

mmmmmmmm... Del Taco chicken cheese quesadillas.... mmmmm.....


Will I ever get a piano?

[Aphrodite]

That would be nice for you.


Can you play?

[daverbee]

Mom says only if I finish my homework.

Wanna help?

[Frieda]

sure,

what's the subject?

[Spicy Jack]

common sense.

Do you know anything about that?

[lapietra]

Not a damn thing.

Will this be on the test?

[Aphrodite]

I was told there wasn't going to be a test.

Can I use a calculator?

[Avalon]

When you are done with that, finish my taxes!

How old is this milk?

[Klynne]

About two years old.

Damn, don't you ever clean out your refrigerator?

[agentsmith]

once every decade, if im in a good mood and the stars are aligned...


didnt i tell you NOT to do that?

[catbelly]

I WILL KEEP POSTING UNTIL DOOMSDAY NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!! THE THREAD WILL NEVER DIE!!

Can anyone guess how many coffees I've had today?

[Spicy Jack]

Depends. I can't see if he is smiling or not.

What is your favorite smell?

[catbelly]

The smell of fear :cool:

How cheeky is Spicy Jack?

[Klynne]

Spicy Jack's cheekiness knows no bounds.

What color should I dye my hair tomorrow?

[catbelly]

Dark chestnut with gold threads, beautiful one. :)


Do you know anyone who loves their job?

[sparticle]

I'm self-employed and constantly arguing with my boss.

Anyone else have an interesting work environment? ;)

[weissenflatz]

The company I work for works on the edge of music and marketing. It's never dull.

Does anyone know for what reason the Dodo became extinct?

[Avalon]

Bad management.

I am thinking of starting a company that hires only Ze monkeys; interested?:p

[Aphrodite]

I have just the qualifications.

Could one be overqualified?

[Avalon]

Yes, but we are willing to over look it.

Can you get others to join?

[weissenflatz]

Yes, I could ask regulars on the zefrank message board.

What does it pay?

[Klynne]

Just the personal satisfaction of a job well done.

When can you start?

[weissenflatz]

I guess I already started...

Why is my neighbours grass greener than mine?

[Avalon]

It's not grass, it's astro turf.

How long is the line at the license bureau??

[Wldchld]

The people in the bar down the street are in line too.

Why do people act so goofy around exes?

[Spicy Jack]

because they have to act like everything is alright and are better off without them. stupid stuff like that.

Who is going lightning bike riding with me in orange jumpsuits? (bike thread)

[weissenflatz]

I will.

Why does the cookoo refuse to raise its own baby cookoos?

[daverbee]

Because it sees what misery humans go through raising their kids so they kick them out of the nest early and go play in Acapulco.

Is there life after death?

[Spicy Jack]

You're dead. That's it. You life on earth will be over. Other people will still be alive though, so sure, there is life after death, just not yours.

What have we learned today folks?

[Avalon]

That it sucks to be dead.

What time do they start handing out the halo's and harps?

[dinzdale]

Why worry? You'll be in line for horns and hooves.



Does that make me a bad person?

[Spicy Jack]

No. Forgeting to take your meds and running around in a thong covered in peanut butter makes you a bad person.

Are you feeling better now?

[dinzdale]

Better now that I know I'm not the only one.




Laundry night or drink-and-fall over night?

[Spicy Jack]

DRINK AND FALL OVER NIGHT!!!!!!!

Will there be dancing?

[dinzdale]

If I can find the right shoes. :)
Then maybe I wont look like a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.



Will these pants go another day?

[Spicy Jack]

Just do a sniff check. If your nose hairs don't curl, then you have at least another day in them.

What do you think about a little polka?

[dinzdale]

You start and I'll catch up, ....sort of polka from behind. :)


Know any even older jokes ?

[Spicy Jack]

I won't even touch that one...

What shall we drink?

[dinzdale]

as long as someone else is driving this bus.



The usual ?

[Spicy Jack]

Mmmmm. I love The Usual! Great drink choice. My favorite part is when you lite it on fire.

How many monkeys can we fit in the bus?

[dinzdale]

As many as it takes.
"A ride for every monkey" as we say.




Do I have to sit next to Beale? :(

[Avalon]

yes, you do and there will be no slapping!

Are we there yet?

[daverbee]

No.

Are we there yet?

[Avalon]

No, not yet.
Dinz, wanna guess who's name was after mine for the horns and hooves??

[dinzdale]

Could be any one of the wimmins here.



Can you tell him to sit on his side? :(

[Spicy Jack]

Stop poking me. You deal with it!

Are we there yet?

[daverbee]

No.

Did we bring any beer?

[Spicy Jack]

OF COURSE! It's in the back next to Beale.

Hey, speaking of Beale, where did he go?

[daverbee]

Hopefully in the men's room. If not, that would explain the smell.

Are we there yet?

[weissenflatz]

Guess not.

Do you take hitchhikers?

[Avalon]

Only if they are nude and have beer.
Are we there yet?

[chuckie egg]

Not even close...

will you clean my desk?

[daverbee]

Only if your office is on the way.

Is Chuckie Egg's office our final destination?

[chuckie egg]

I hope for your sake its not.

Why does it always rain on me?

[Avalon]

You're standing under a storm cloud, silly:)

Are we getting closer?

[chuckie egg]

Of course we're getting closer!

Does anyone have a spare bed, I'm REALLY tired.

[daverbee]

I gotta go to tha bafroom!

Are we there yet?

[chuckie egg]

I keep answering this question!

Do you need me to dangle you over a grid?

[daverbee]

Grid, maybe, gridDLE, no.

Why doesn't it ever rain here?

[weissenflatz]

It just doesn't...

Beer anyone?

[chuckie egg]

Theres nothing I'd rather have right now.

Wont you have one with me?

[weissenflatz]

yeah, burps, I'll have another..

What does that roadsign say?

[Avalon]

Sit down and don't pick your nose.

Are you kids belted in?

[weissenflatz]

Tight as hell.

Who's driving by the way?

[Avalon]

Must be me since I don't drink beer.

Could we stop and get some Tequila?

[Aphrodite]

Have some of mine.

Can we stop for MORE tequila?

[weissenflatz]

Avalon, don't drink from Aphrodite's tequile gold. That the empty bottle Beale used...

Is there a bucket around?

[Avalon]

Ewwww, never mind I will use the window!

How could you let this happen?

[weissenflatz]

did you ever try stopping him?

What's old lady doing, standing by the road over there?

[Avalon]

I think she wants a ride.

Can we make her sit next to Beale?

[weissenflatz]

Beale, you've got company. Wake up.

Look how nice. Is she feeding him cookies?

[Avalon]

I'm not sure what those are; I'm not touching them!

Are you thinking what I'm thinking??

[Spicy Jack]

Yeah, thats not cookies.

Avalon, can you pull over?

[red]

Well that makes it difficult for anyone else to answer.

what the hell is that?

[Saxifrage]

I believe its the worlds largest ball of twine.


Why do you ask?

[lapietra]

'Cos that's what we're supposed to do, silly.

Can one develop a physical tolerance to coffee?

[dinzdale]

Absolutely.



Would you like one?

[Willow Sylph]

Please, no. I already have enough vices.

Are you promoting substance addiction?

[Spicy Jack]

He's the poster child for substance addiction.

Do the keegles work for you?

[dinzdale]

They work better if YOU do them :)


Does this coffee mug make me look sophisticated?