do not reply.

[agentsmith]

Fonzie gives an almighty shriek and dashes after lala, foaming at the mouth. klaha smirks and says....."lucky thing that i have an even cooler leather jacket......i have an even cooler leather outfit, in fact. and i use my leather outfit for more than looking cool....hehehehehehe......"

[funkytuba]

oops...


we let agent kill the thread.



darnit like a sock.

[agentsmith]

watashikata!:)

[Red Princess]

ok

[agentsmith]

i won!:)

[Klynne]

Not so fast Agent, this thread will never die!

[daverbee]

That, in itself, is scary. The entire universe finally does collapse on itself and this thread will still be getting posts? :eek:

[Avalon]

that is kinda scary. Oh well, I like scary:)

[agentsmith]

who doesnt?

[funkytuba]

EEK!

[Coffee]

Originally posted by daverbee
That, in itself, is scary. The entire universe finally does collapse on itself and this thread will still be getting posts? :eek:

If it wasn't for time paradoxes such as this...our entire universe might never have been created...if that's any comfort.

edit to add... Is the term "entire universe" redundant?:confused:

[Coffee]

did I kill it :D

edited to add.

Ooops. :(

[agentsmith]

you cant be allowed to kill it! thats my job.

[Avalon]

okay then

[Klynne]

*Over Voldka martinis, Klynne proposes the next film to be made to Catbelly*

"This is brilliant, just brilliant, look at the script." Klynne urges Catbelly.

Catbelly is understandably discouraged, and a little skeptical.

"Sure, whatever, I will take a look at it," She says as she orders her fifth voldka martini. "But first we must do the macarena."

*Klynne and Catbelly dance, and do a few shots of tequilla, then sit down, for some serious business. Catbelly begins to read the script. The script is entitled "You Can't Be Allowed to Kill It! Thats My Job".

[catbelly]

Unfortunately, after five martinis, Catbelly is not able to read worth a darn.

"Klynne, I can't read worth a darn," she said, throwing the script down on the ground. "and I need my pants back."

"You beyatch! I worked SO HARD on that ... " Klynne bent to pick up the script, but in the process, bent over too far and fell down.

Avalon looked at them with disdain, shaking her head. "drunk in public again! You two are setting a fine example .... "

Cat and Klynne look at her sheepishly and try to appear less inebriated.

[moel]

:)

[Klynne]

"It is that darn Smiley face again," Klynne sobs, as she hugs Catbelly, " Why does it follow me wherever I go?"

"Shhh, shh, it will be ok, Klynne, have you taken your meds tonight?" Catbelly asks as she finishes up a pint of rum.

"Meds?" Klynne asks as she wimpers, " I don't need meds, I just need....Something? Maybe ice cream, I don't know!!!!"

[catbelly]

"How about a cookie, I baked them myself," said Coffee the toaster-playing scruffyman.

"Um... I am not supposed to take cookies from tree-huggers, my mom said so," said Klynne.

"But these are very special cookies - wink wink!" he replied, gesturing in a manner that brought to mind Johnny Depp as Cap'n Jack Sparrow in "the Pirates of the Caribbean."

"Hey, are you stealing my schtick?" Rapscallion shouted. "Of all the nerve!" The parrot made a lewd gesture at Coffee and pooped on Rob's shoulder.

The Tuba Collective waited in the wings to see if a fight might erupt so they could bet on the outcome with Marvin the Martian.

Avalon wondered if the cookies were as "special" as the ones she'd made for her punked-out knitting circle the previous weekend, the one where everyone got rowdy and ended up making bondage outfits from merino wool.

Agent and RP decided to gang up on moel and shave his eyebrows. Luckily fodder was nearby and diverted them by starting a thread called "... so, what was your ..."

Daverbee and Catbelly started on the tequila. "Tell me, daverbee, is it true that 78% of the restaurants in Florida feature a Jimmy Buffet impersonator?"

Klynne decided to take the cookie. It was soft and chewy and smelled faintly resiny and earthy. Not her usual preference, but how bad could it be?

[laughingbuddha]

:)

[Avalon]

Avalon wondered if the cookies were as "special" as the ones she'd made for her punked-out knitting circle the previous weekend, the one where everyone got rowdy and ended up making bondage outfits from merino wool.

************************************************** **
Cool, I always wanted to learn how to knit;)

[Coffee]

Klynne begins to feel a bit funny...kind of dizzy but happy sorta.
Also she beggins to lose her concentration (...not a good thing to happen to a Puppet Master from the Planet Ptavvs). Her Ze drone finds that Klynne's control over him loosens and he begins to think for himself. Suddenly Ze looses a colorful flash dragon on the set and the miyavi tuba collective gasps in asstonishment and runs around chasing the dragon all over the set.
Other ze monkeys are also surprised by the appearance of the colorful dragon and ooh and ahhh in wonder. Ze begins doing an wonderful impression of a Bush supporter which comes across as sarcastic and thus delights the Zemonkeys watching him...they clap in appreciation, and wonder why Ze became so annimated all of a sudden. While this is going a large cake emerges from the kitchen and sneaks up behind Klynne. While she is in her stupor she is unnaware of Mr. Spock emerging from the cake and placing his hand on her temple and cheek, nor does she notice him mumbling "my mind to your mind, your mind to my mind..." as he begins the famous Vulcan mind meld...he extacts information about the Ptavv fleet postion, number of ships, and also manages to get the frequency of the ptavv fleet shields. Then he erases all traces of his mind meld from Klynne's brain and slips back into the kitchen in the large cake.
Klynne comes out of her cookie induced reverie and notices her Ze Drone acting out on its own. Klynne hurries over to the Ze and surepititiosly shoves her hand up his arse, wiggles her fingers and regains control of him. The dragon dissapears, and Ze goes back to playing with his pen...his very large pen.

[RuneT]

can you post that in like 4 post so i can read it? I know. I'm lazy.

[Coffee]

No

[Coffee]

Originally posted by Coffee
No

I

[Coffee]

Originally posted by Coffee
No

Originally posted by Coffee
I


Can't

[RuneT]

:D

I forgive you my friend. I can't expect everybody to cater for me. Not yet. You just wait.

[catbelly]

Rapscalious emerges from the kitchen with cake all over his face. "Arrr! Whose birthday is it, still Unsound's?"

Avalon wonders if she can continue to hide her lack of knitting knowledge from her knit 'n' bitch compatriots with "special" cookies ... they may be on to her. She vows that she will come clean but maybe after the next session. The sexy fuzzy sweater that Hugh Jackman is making for her is almost done, and she doesn't want to jeapordize their relationship before he is done sewing it all together.

[agentsmith]

hehehehe...........


KNICKERS

[Coffee]

A strangly familliar fellow walks onto the set, bends over to pick up a pair of knickers that someone left laying in the middle of the set.

"Do these belong to anyone?"...."anyone?"..."anyone?"
http://www.ollin.net/today/crazy/ferris_bueller_05.jpg

Catbelly tells him to just drop them over by the janitor closet...they will get claimed eventually.

[Frieda]

http://www.angelfire.com/apes2/freakypirate/dredd.jpg

I AM-- hey! those knickers are mine!! look! they're kevlar!

[agentsmith]

ahem

[Avalon]

Recipe for killer Margaritas:

1 1/2 shots Cuervo Especial
1 1/2 shots Roses Lime juice
1 1/2 shots Grand Marnier
1 shot of Triple Sec
1 1/2 shots Sweet and sour mix


ice
salt rimmed glass
shaker


mix all in a shaker, shake well, pour and enjoy

[agentsmith]

i joined a new board. woooot wooooooooooooot.

[Coffee]

Originally posted by agentsmith
i joined a new board. woooot wooooooooooooot.

soo...like maybe we can kill this thread without you now that you are busy elsewhere??? :D

[Klynne]

*Klynne takes Coffee by the ear and leads him away from the cast and crew*

"Coffee, we are trying to keep the this thread alive, Agent is the one trying to kill it, Don't you remember anything?" As Klynne says this, she is looking into his eyes, using her special powers to hypnotize him. She uses her powers to look deep into Coffee's mind. Coffee thinks "Wow, Klynne has really bad breath, and she certainly could use and eyebrow waxing."

Klynne claps her hands over her ears, and falls to her knees and wails "No, no, my mind is melting!"

"Oh dear," Marvin the Martian says, "She is p.m.s.ing most certainly."

Coffee leans over and says to Klynne, "Would you like a breath mint? Don't worry," he says as he pats her head, "I have been studying cosmetology, and we can take care of that nasty unibrow. Would you like a cup of tea? It is a remedy for menstrual cramps."

"You are mad, mad I say! Get away from me." Klynne begs....

[Coffee]

gosh...I might have offered a breath mint, but I would never have made a big deal about your thick bushy monobrow Klynne.

*hands Klynne a discount coupon for a weedwacker rental with complimentary shrub trimmer attachment*

*walks back to set and winks at Spock while mumbling*
"could of sworn it was just Agent that wanted to kill the thread...and our job was to prevent her...oh well..I personally think the puppet lady is really cracking up...too much hairspray probably...and speaking of cracking up, I should probably stop mumbling, probably looks like i'm going crazy too"

[lapietra]

Lala runs back in, hotly pursued by the Fonz, who, at his advanced age, is puffing and blowing like a locomotive.

"You want this back? do you?" taunts Lala.

The Fonz growls and tears after Lala with renewed vigor. Lala lightly leaps onto a building, Crouching-Tiger-Hidden-Dragon style, and disappears in a flash.

[catbelly]

The Fonz attempts to follow, but due to a slight miscalculation on his part, he misses and his greased-back hair causes him to slide off the side of the building and into a dumpster.

Klynne fishes him out and offers him a beer.

[weissenflatz]

So is this thread dead or what?

[RuneT]

It will live until the cows come home. Trust me.

[weissenflatz]

Originally posted by RuneT
It will live until the cows come home. Trust me.

http://www.donfineart.com/cowscomehome1.jpg

[Willow Sylph]

Originally posted by weissenflatz
So is this thread dead or what? weiss, you squelched a perfectly good story above your post!

[Coffee]

Naaaa....
http://www.donfineart.com/cowscomehome1.jpg

that aint the Agent's house...

hers is more like this onehttp://users.owt.com/jesyr/munstermemories/munster.house.NEW/images/munHouse08.jpg

hmmm...don't recongnize it???

How bout now?
http://users.owt.com/jesyr/munstermemories/Tour/jpg/HouseL.jpg

Maybe it would help you if you could see her grandpa???
Don't scroll down unless your really stuck.
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"Hi Sweetie...It's your Graaaannnnd Paaa. Come help me in the lab."
http://www.mannoandcondon.com/grandpa.gif

[agentsmith]

AIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love the munsters!

[Klynne]

What was the Munsters theme song? I have been wracking my brain, and all I can come up with is the Adams Family theme song...

[catbelly]

I can't remember - all I know is that I thought Mrs. Munster was one hot mama. And I was scared of Herman for a long time.

[Klynne]

And I mix up the characters between the two shows. Hand was on one and It was on another. Or was Hand IT? I don't know. I am certain I must have viewed re runs. Wonder if they were originally broadcast in the same year???

O.K. The show must go on.

*The theme song of Hawaii Five O blares in the background. The Zemonkeys have found themselves transported to the 70's. They look at each other, and laugh. They are all dressed in bell bottoms and hideous wide collered shirts. Their hairstyles are absolutely silly. The lady Ze's have hair down to their asses, and are fighting over the iron and ironing board. The Ze men, all have bad perms, and are trying to pick their hair out to look like the Jackson Five.*

[Aphrodite]

Hand and It were both on the Addams family.

I thought Morticia was pretty.

I liked the Munsters, but the Addams family was my favourite.

[Avalon]

the hand was called "thing" and it was cute little Cousin It:cool:

[agentsmith]

munsters is infinitely better.

[sparticle]

I'm an Addams fan.

I like the work of Charles Addams, on which the series was based.

One of my favorite Addams cartoons, from the New Yorker, I believe, shows a scientist and a patent officer in front of an open office window facing onto a busy street several stories below. The scientist is holding a ray gun sort of contraption and looking rather disappointedly down at the street. The patent officer is saying, with a look of disgust, "Death ray, fiddlesticks! It doesn't even slow them down!"

[weissenflatz]

Originally posted by sparticle
"Death ray, fiddlesticks! It doesn't even slow them down!"

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0671778129.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

[weissenflatz]

When I was a kid I used to look the Adams serial: Grizzly Adams.

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/coverv/80/119980.jpg

[Avalon]

I am just sooo sorry weissen..He was killed and eaten by his bear, Bennifer. And we are better off for it.;)

[sparticle]

Originally posted by weissenflatz
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0671778129.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

COOL! Thanks!

[funkytuba]

Originally posted by Klynne
What was the Munsters theme song? I have been wracking my brain, and all I can come up with is the Adams Family theme song...

The munsters theme song was an instrumental.... it went something like

[horns]
[guitar]
[orchestra]


Bwaaaaaa---Buh Dut!
Bwaaaaaa---Buh Dut!

Bownn Bow-dun Bow-dun-Dun
Bow-dun-dun, Bow-da-
Dun, bow da Bow-dun-dun-
Bwaaaaaa---Buh Dut!
Bwaaaaaa---Buh Dut!

Bownn Bow-dun Bow-dun-Dun
Bow-dun-dun, Bow-da-
Dun, bow da Bow-dun-dun-
Bwaaaaaa---Buh Dut!
Bwaaaaaa---Buh Dut!

Baaiiii Yut Yut Yut Yut
Yuh-dut-Yut-Yut-Yut
Yut yut Yuhhhhhh Yut-
Yuh-dut-Yut-Yut-Yut

Bownn Bow-dun Bow-dun-Dun
Bow-dun-dun, Yut-ya
Yaa Yaaa, Yut-ya
Yaa Yaaa,

[sparticle]

I liked the actor who played Herman Munster, also when he did the series "Car 54". He was funny. He also played the judge in "My Cousin Vinny".

[Spicy Jack]

Thanks funk. I could have never figured it out without you. BwAAAaaaaAAAAAA!!!!

[weissenflatz]

Originally posted by sparticle
I liked the actor who played Herman Munster, also when he did the series "Car 54". He was funny. He also played the judge in "My Cousin Vinny".

http://www.freehomepages.com/munsters/famtree/hermftp.jpg

[funkytuba]

found it...and a bunch of others at

http://wavthis.com/TV.html

[Avalon]

Originally posted by sparticle
I liked the actor who played Herman Munster, also when he did the series "Car 54". He was funny. He also played the judge in "My Cousin Vinny".

Good old Fred Gwynne:(

[rapscalious rob]

Muenster is also a cheese.

[Spicy Jack]

What? Huh? Did someone day cheese? :)

[Coffee]

Omg...your text version of the Munster theme was awesome funky. I was actually able to follow along with it.

And esp. thanks for posting link to tv themesong song site.
I have downloaded Munsters, Adam's family, Gilligan's Island, Underdog, Commander McBragg (Did I ever tell you about the time I...oh no sir, please...hehe), and the Batman themes.

Whoot whoot.
rocking out to underdog theme right now.

And I agree with Agent...eek...Munsters beat Adam's familly...at least the show anyhow.
Eddie was soooo much cooler than Pugsley.
Although...Morticia was hotter than Lilly...Mrs. Munster reminded me of an old friend's Mom.

[Avalon]

In real life, both were considered "hotties" On an interesting note, Carolyn Jones, aka Morticia, was a natural blonde who kept her fair hair dyed for movie roles.http://www.cinemorgue.com/carolynjones.jpg

[Avalon]

http://www.alohacriticon.com/images/elcriticonfotos/yvonne77.jpg
A young Mrs. Munster:)

[catbelly]

Ahhh those wav's are awesome ... the 60's Batman theme is my favourite. I've been looking for the Wonder Woman theme (from the 70's TV show starring the fabulous Lynda Carter) for ages but can't find it. Sad :(

So... mini-poll:

Morticia or Mrs. Munster?

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Jeannie or Samantha?

Billy Jo, Betty Jo, or Bobby Sue? (did I even get those right?)

:)

[Hermione]

Originally posted by catbelly
So... mini-poll:

Morticia or Mrs. Munster?

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Jeannie or Samantha?

Billy Jo, Betty Jo, or Bobby Sue? (did I even get those right?)

Mrs. Munster

Mary Ann

Samantha

.. I don't know who the last people are..

[Coffee]

Originally posted by catbelly
Ahhh those wav's are awesome ... the 60's Batman theme is my favourite. I've been looking for the Wonder Woman theme (from the 70's TV show starring the fabulous Lynda Carter) for ages but can't find it. Sad :(

So... mini-poll:

Morticia or Mrs. Munster?

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Jeannie or Samantha?

Billy Jo, Betty Jo, or Bobby Sue? (did I even get those right?)

:)

hmm...now that I've just seen Avalons posts of young mrs munster...Wow...I had no idea!!!

Lilly Munster
Mary Ann (...Yes...Mary Ann you Ginger loving freeky thing you...you know who you are ;)
Jeannie
and I also don't know who the last group is. :confused:

[catbelly]

Petticoat Junction, sirs!

*ahem*

Mrs. Munster
GINGER
Jeannie
Bobby Sue (I think??? maybe I should go look again)

[sparticle]

Originally posted by catbelly
Ahhh those wav's are awesome ... the 60's Batman theme is my favourite. I've been looking for the Wonder Woman theme (from the 70's TV show starring the fabulous Lynda Carter) for ages but can't find it. Sad :(

So... mini-poll:

Morticia or Mrs. Munster?

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Jeannie or Samantha?

Billy Jo, Betty Jo, or Bobby Sue? (did I even get those right?)

:)


Morticia

Ginger

Samantha

and whoever the bitchiest Jo was. LOL

[Coffee]

Suddenly an alien space craft carrooooms through a wall of the movie studio set. It is just possible to glimpse through the cockpit windows of the vehicle as it roars by. Inside can be seen a strangly European looking Jewish man who is shrieking at the top of his lungs, sitting behind two bizzare creatures with eye stalks that look like hands holding eyeballs, who apear to be piloting the bizzare craft. It carreens across the set knocking zemonkey all over, and demolishes most of the fake interior walls. It zig zags around the studio for about 5 seconds stirring up all the wreckage, then it crashes through the far wall, the swiftly fading and incongrous sound of a high powered motorcycle engine and the falling shards of most of the interior walls of the set the only remains of its passing.

A few moments later Mr. Spock walks out of the kitchen intently peering at a small buzzing and beeping thing reminiscent of a 70's era tape recorder in a faux leather case which is slung over his shoulder. He aims the box in an arch around the set then views the read outs for a moment, raises an eyebrow, makes a couple of adjustments to his device, and walks back into the kitchen.

[Klynne]

Larry Dumbo emeges from the wrecked space craft, none the worse for the wear. He eyes the zemonkeys suspiciously and says, "I know you, you keep invading my dreams, what do you want from me!??? Are you real, or am I real???"

The zemonkeys collectively shrug their shoulders.

Spock emerges from the kitchen with a steaming platter of something. The stuff on the platter gives off an odd neon glow. "Soups on,"Spock declares.

"Cool dude, I have the munchies,"says Coffee.

Spock raises his eyebrow at Coffee and says, "Jim, errrrr, I mean Coffee, you know how this affects your digestive track, you should go to the kitchen and have some dorritos instead."

"Hope there are some ding dongs in there too," Coffee says as he wanders off to the kitchen.

[agentsmith]

the agent sashays in, sining mad world from the donnie darko soundtrack in a droning voice that is eardrum eruptingly out of tune.

[Klynne]

Larry Dumbo takes one look at Agent and falls in love. That was his first mistake.

"Hey baby, I think I am in love," he says to her.

Agent stops dead in her tracks, and swivels around on her very high spiky boots.

The zemonkeys, who had started rebuilding the set, scream out in unison "No, not another word Dumbo!" Quite frankly, they did not want to have to reconstuct the set once again, after Agent's wrath was unleashed. They weren't even making Davis Bacon Wages for crying out loud.

Larry approaches Agent and says to her "You look good, but you would look better on me." That was Larry's second mistake.

The zemonkeys drop their hammers and duct tape and run to the kitchen for shelter.

[agentsmith]

larry dumbo smiles a simpering smile, revealing spinach globs wedged between his front teeth.

[Coffee]

With a growl Agent Smith leaps upon Larry.
Larry for just a second thinks that his new dream is gonna come true, but those hopes are rapidly dashed since his dream did not involve being hog tied with dental floss. However in the midst of the hog tying he hopefully formulates a revised dream and gets excited for a brief moment. Unfortunately his new dream did not involve Agent Smith threading a long piece of mountaneer quality rope in and out of all of his dental work, so his excitement is drowned out by the horrible pain as his teeth are spread viciously appart by the ridiculously oversised "floss" Agent Smith is using on his teeth. Agent Smith says to Larry..."get it through your head Dumbo, I don't love you, I hate it when folks smile at me with spinach stuck in there teeth...so this should remind you to Never Ever Ever EVER admit you love me...or forget to floss". With that Agent Smith yanks the rope out of Larrys mouth disloging several teeth as well as the globs of spinach, which fly high into the air and stick, somewhat loosely, to the roof of the set.

Larry runs shrieking and bleeding into a near-by closet to hide from Agent Smith...his Third mistake.

[agentsmith]

he is pounced upon by jrockers intent on forcing him to join their butt****ing activities in the broom closet.

[rapscalious rob]

God starts to say something, but is interrupted when agent shouts: “Shut up, God!”

[agentsmith]

hehe

[funkytuba]

sheshe

[rapscalious rob]

There’s a brilliant flash of light from the closet. Agent walks over to investigate. When she opens the door, the JRockers fall limply out, like so many rubber chickens. Larry Dumbo is nowhere to be seen. 1/4 of a head cheese sandwich is resting on the ground where he once stood.

[agentsmith]

HOLY SHIT HE KILLED MY JROCKIN CREW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Avalon]

Agent Smith, dark with despair, takes a bite out of the head cheese sandwhich and exclaims: I NEED MORE COWBELL, NOW, GOD DAMMIT!
She then collapses to the floor in agony.

[Klynne]

On the third day in fullfillment of the scripture (and Rob's predictions) Larry Dumbo rises again through Agent.

"She has ate my body, and through me she lives." says Agent, but it is not really Agent, Larry has taken over Agent's body.

Agent's spirit is hovering over Larry stabbing at him with a cute little samari sword, "Get out, Get out," she screams.

Larry admires his new body, pats his breasts and then grabs his ass. "I can get use to this," he says.

[Klynne]

for

[Klynne]

my

[Klynne]

2000th

[Klynne]

post

[Klynne]

I

[Klynne]

am

[Klynne]

placing

[Klynne]

it

[Klynne]

here

[Klynne]

because

[Klynne]

this

[Klynne]

thread is very near and dear to my heart. I have loved interacting with all of you. Lurves you monkeys!

And thanks for starting this thread agent.

Now, on to big and better things.

On with the show.

[agentsmith]

happy 2000th!

[Klynne]

Thanks Agent!

Originally posted by Klynne
On the third day in fullfillment of the scripture (and Rob's predictions) Larry Dumbo rises again through Agent.

"She has ate my body, and through me she lives." says Agent, but it is not really Agent, Larry has taken over Agent's body.

Agent's spirit is hovering over Larry stabbing at him with a cute little samari sword, "Get out, Get out," she screams.

Larry admires his new body, pats his breasts and then grabs his ass. "I can get use to this," he says.

The zemonkeys gather and watch with a mixture of horror and amusement as Agent roars circling her former body.

"Stop it," She yells at Dumbo, "get your filthy hands off me!"

"But Agent, don't you mean for him to get your hands off you?" Coffee asks.

"This will make a great movie!" Catbelly purrs. She forms a camera lens with her hands and imagines what the scene before her would look like on the big screen.

[agentsmith]

hey, does this cute little samurai sword come in red?

[rapscalious rob]

…that’s how the altercation between the rich heiress known only as Agent, last name Smith, and the exclusive antique Samarai Sword dealer began.

“In red? This is the finest sword ever crafted. The spirit of one of the greatest Samarais who ever lived resides in this sword, and all you can ask is if it comes in red?” the dealer asked incredulously.

“Red,” said Agent, her eyes widening. “Red,” she said again, her voice rougher around the edges. Pictures of a million stabbings caught on film swam morbidly through her mind as she chanted, “Red, red, red!”

at the same time, Larry Dumbo, who was controlling Agent’s body, looked at the sword and thought about its possibilities as a holy antennae to communicate with the mothership.

“I’ll take it,” said Larry, speaking through agent. That’s when Larry blacked out.

A force neither Larry nor Agent could control took over. The spirit of a Samarai master.
He screamed at the samarai dealer: “You are selling the swords of my people! You are selling our souls! You will die now!”

[agentsmith]

the head of the dealer lands in coffee's lap. he smiles, spreads some mayo on it, and takes a big bite.

[rapscalious rob]

Larry Dumbo/Agentsmith stand aghast at such a ghastly repast. How long can such insanity last? He/She had to think fast.

[agentsmith]

suddenly, the priest from the exorcist appears, ready to exorcise larry dumbo from agent's body. it appears that dr. spock has called him....BUT WHY???

[Coffee]

The Samurai Master pulls an ancient sword from his sash. It's yard and a half of exquisitly crafted steel gleems and flashes with the spirits of ancestors who once wielded this fabulous sword. The Master drops into a wide stance crouch, his left hand in front of him guaging the distance between him and his target, his right hand wielding the instrument of just-vengence above his head, pointing it at the quivering sword salesman, who shrieks "mercy, mercy, I have no fvcking idea how I even got here man...I'm just trying to make a living, I was told these swords were cheap repros made out of WW2 scrap Jeep bumpers...Please...I don't want to die at the hands of an evil Samarai Sword Master!!!!". The sword salesman collapses to the ground crying and quivering in abject terror. The Master, pauses...he is not actually an irrational Samurai spirit master, and he definitly doesn't consider himself evil, he considers himself a man of culture and letters, he likes poetry and fine literature, especially good Haikus, he finds his most enjoyable time is spent in his Zen garden raking sand into sculpured contemplative forms and relaxing while contemplating while not contemplating his favroite boulder. He is not all that sure how he found himself in this unlikely place and suddenly being confronted by a quivering pleading obviously frightened and not even remotely threating sword salesman kind of takes the divine winds of justice out of his sails so to speak. The Samurai Master takes a look around the set and truly begins to appreciate the strangeness of this place he finds himself in. In front of him is, of course, the quivering salesman, just beyond is a sleek woman fondling her own breasts while waving at a Ghost that is flying around him...no wait...the woman is also holding a sword over her head...and when he winks at her, she winks back at him...oh...duh...it's a mirror. Looking off to one side he spots a man eating another mans head...even stranger it appears to be the head of the quivering sword salesman he was just about to behead...some kind of temporal annomaly no doubt. On the other side of the set just through a door leading to what apprears to be a kitchen of sorts, he spots a strange man with pointy ears fiddling with a small leatherette encased box that is slung around his neck, he seems quite puzzled and just a bit frustrated as he insistantly tweaks the knobs on the device. The Master slowly turns surveying the remainder of the set, a small creature with a roman style gladiator hat and a head that looks like a bowling ball or an antique cartoon bomb is sitting morosely and apparently forgotton on one side of a bench, 2 male and 2 female 70's police show stars are munching donuts at the other end of the bench and looking kind of bored.
There are various alien craft, monkeys, song lyrics, and discarded movie scripts littering a whole section over there. Upon completing his turn he spots another newcomer, a priest waving a book, a small bell, and a candle in his direction...threateningly, or so it seems. The master walks gracefully over to the priest and asks him "what are you doing if I might ask?". The priest, a bit startled at the polite question says..."uhhh...trying to excorsise your evil spirit from ...uhhh...that body...hmmm...actually...you are probably not nearly as evil as that body's original inhabitant...hmm wonder if I can excorsise that Ghost instead...naaa...I'm a priest, I was told to excorsise your evil spirit, I'm not paid to think...in fact that's kind of discouraged in my line of work...so "ominum dominum, patre nostro, snick" "...Actually the priest didn't say "snick"...that was the sound of his head coming off right after the Master said..."fark that".
The Master's voice booms across the set "So people, and not quite people...just where the hell am I anyhow? I want answers or more heads are gonna roll.
Coffee whispers..."psst, you'll like it here man...there is a cool Haiku thread around here somewhere too.

[rapscalious rob]

haha!

[funkytuba]

Originally posted by Coffee

no wait...the woman is also holding a sword over her head...and when he winks at her, she winks back at him...oh...duh...it's a mirror

My cow-orkers are now looking at me funny. I think it's time to head to lunch where I can laugh out loud in peace.

[Coffee]

Originally posted by funkytuba
cow-orkers

And that cracked me up.
Happy accident?

I used to feel that way actually.... what dooo youuuu want me tooo doooooo next.

[agentsmith]

hehehhehe

[Klynne]

bump

[funkytuba]

*grind*

[agentsmith]

*hump hump hump*

[Klynne]

"WHew, that was good for me. " *lights cigarette....*

[agentsmith]

.-.-.-.-.-.------====++++++====-------.-.-.-.-.-.-.

[Coffee]

Ok...i'm leaving for vacation soon.
I may not be able to check in while gone.

Someone keep an eye on this thread please while I'm gone...and I don't mean Agnes.

*hugs this thread, pats it on the head and scritches it behind the ears a bit*

[funkytuba]

Coffee and his entourage leave the sound stage with a flourish.

Catbelly looks on, a resigned tear in the corner of her eye. She secretly dreads the responsibility of keeping the thread alive in the absence of her cuppa joe.

Agent, on the other hand, wears a smug smirk knowing that her thread-preservationist nemesis has, as they say, left the building.

The Tuba Collective sits in a corner going "whirr" and "bing!" at random intervals, still reeling from their last encounter with trans-dimensional jrockers.

Klynne, exhaling smoke through her nose, is wary. Her eyes dart from side to side scoping the situation and trying to stay mentally awake, and amorally bent.

[Klynne]

Klynne stubs out her smoke on Marvin the Martian's helmet.

"That is very rude." Marvin simpers.

"Oh, I am sorry, I thought you were an ashtray." Klynne says.

The monkeys spirits are down, now that Coffee has departed. Especially Catbelly, she looks so forlorn.

Klynne walks up to Catbelly, and puts her arm around her.

"Lighten up Buttercup, I think Coffee may have left us something in the kitchen."

"Really? Do you think so?" Catbelly asks.

Funky Tuba pipes up (eww bad pun) "I know he did. Agent, would you be a doll and fetch it?"

Agent glares meanacingly at Funky and growls, " I would love to." She saunters off to the kitchen, and the monkeys wait in anticipation....

[catbelly]

Klynne emerges from the kitchen with Mr. Spock, who is still fumbling with his knobs and taking readings. He seems preoccupied and a little annoyed that Klynne has dragged him out while he's busy with his gizmo that looks like a 70's tape deck in a leatherette case.

"See, catbelly, there's no reason to be lonely ... I think Mr. Spock here would like to take you out for a movie! He said that he would like to see 'hellboy' in particular - and that he knows a nice place for tapas afterwards!"

The monkeys are shocked, do they think that while the cat is away the mouse will play? Er... the Coffee is away the Cat will play?? Er ... anyway.

They are even more shocked when Catbelly reaches into her pocket and pulls out ... Mini-Coffee! "See you guys, he's right here," she explained. "Mr. Spock has been figuring out how to shrink us folks down so we can all fit in one seat, so we can all afford to go on the trip to Vegas in June! Just think how much mileage we'll get out of the mini-bar!"

The Tuba Collective honks in surprise and pleasure, and plays a few bars of "Ode to Joy" before heading off to the International Tuba Day parade.

Rapscalious One kisses his parrot and wonders if he will be able to sit on the parrot's shoulder and make wisecracks after he's shrunken.

Klynne looks on in surprise and wonders if size really does matter.

[agentsmith]

agent stares at mini coffee, a devious plan forming in her mind.

if only she could shrink her jrockin posse! having them in her pocket would certainly save a lot of bus fares.

[Dark Chocolate]

the monkeys look at agent in anticipation. the tuba collective toots to itself.

agent lifts the domed lid from the plate in her hand to reveal…

[agentsmith]

a blueberry pie.....OF DOOM!

[Klynne]

As Agent presents the BLUEBERRY PIE OF DOOM, music starts to play... Ooompah, Ooompah....and strange little people appear, singing that they have a tale to tell the zemonkeys.

Funky Tuba is really digging the low bass music, and the little Tubas become very excited. A little boy in a cheap suit is tugging on a wizened old man's sleeve. "Grandfather, where are we?"

[agentsmith]

dear god! its the oompa loompa invasion!

[Klynne]

Bumpity bump bump

[agentsmith]

slurpee

[funkytuba]

durpee

[Coffee]

Urp.

Nice to ssseee yooua all having fun while i'm in candadaa gettign drunck with catttbelly.
uirpm.

hockey is cool...pun sorta accidental...upr.

[funkytuba]

you're with belly?

put her on!

[Klynne]

Klynne is shaken to the core of her very being... "Coffee has defected to Canada!" She wails. "Where are we going to get our good hand rolled cigarettes now?" Klynne sobs, she is unconsolable. "Catbelly left me too!" What am I going to do with these monkeys?"

Klynne has never been one that has performed well under pressure.

Funky sees the film is going to hell, and tries to intercede. Agent has her own ideas.

[Coffee]

warning...pay no attention to the lady behind the next post...sheee is rdrnkunker than Iam but can tipye better then me whil on bere.

[catbelly]

I am laughing so hard I am crying. Coffee is an old fark and I don't know how much more his old California fark physiology will stand before it crumples in the face of Canadian beer and hockey.

*the ZeMonkeys decide to split off into teams, six on six*

Coffee yells out,

"Klynne in goal!"

Catbelly gives him a super dirty look as she was planning to swipe Klynne as a fast and fleet right wing.

"Fine ... Audrey La Farking VGS in goal!!"

Coffee wishes he had thought of that ... and he is now paralyzed by indecision.

"OK... funkytuba is my left wing ... beat that, you Canadian beer - guzzzling beeyatch!"

"No problem, Californian tree hugger ... I am grabbing willow sylph on right wing, she is one tough broad!"

Coffee is thinking that he needs a glass of water. "La Pietra, left defense!"


"NYC, centre!"

"Dinzdale, centre!"

"Beale, right defense and Absolut rep!"

"Frieda, right wing, eat our DUST!"

Coffe and Catbelly square off and try to count their players but they have drunk too much for the moment and need to pee.

[Coffee]

Wait a sec....Cat's got Audrey on goal, a rock solid down to earth nothing gets by her type of chick...and I got Klynne "trust jesus to make the save" on goal....we are doomed.

Frieda...i'm countin on your technical expertise to keep this game to a 0-0 score.

I'll be over in the corner puking my canadian beer.
jus kidding...it is yummy...pass me another please.

[catbelly]

Catbelly is happy - "I was counting on that ... give me Klynne and I'll show you my "stamp collection." It's a little known fact that Jesus was an excellent goalie, you'd have to have excellent reflexes in the position he was in!"

Also, dibs on MoN as our manager ... we need someone with cool tattoos :)

[Klynne]

Jesus makes an appearance. He vaporizes the opposing team, but saves coach Catbelly. He finds some good in her. Coffee is amazed seeing Jesus for the first time and all. He repents, and is baptized on the ice. Klynne walks away with a smirk on her face. She has plans....

[catbelly]

Catbelly is devastated that so many monkeys were vaporized by Jesus ... but she understands. Farking unbelievers. She decides that her team will be more thoughtful in future or they may not get laid.

In the meantime she decides that everyone should have manicures and pedicures on the company ticket, complete with massage and fruity umbrella drinks.

OPA!!

[Klynne]

A Public Announcement...

Klynne wishing she was hanging out with Coffee and Ms. Belly. Have a good night guys. Have to wake my sorry ass up early tomorrow. Lurves ya.

[Coffee]

Reeling from a baptism that involves getting one's head dunked under Ice...owwww....Coffee decides that religion is not all it's "cracked" up to be...and heads to the corner drug store for an aspirin and another beer or two...or three.

[Klynne]

"NOOOOO! Coffee is never coming back. He has discovered the beauty of Canadian Beer! All the buzz, and no hangover. Damn the lack of preservatives in Canadian Beer!" Klynne throws herself on the ground, and beats her feet and fists on the earth.

[Coffee]

uhhh...this is the internet Klynne...no matter where i am...i can still log on. And without the hangover, I can log on earlier...it's all good.

Smoothes from Canada for all.

[catbelly]

"OK if you're not going to pick, then I'm picking Rune on left wing and I change my mind, I want MoN on right defense. Then I ...." Catbelly has evidently forgotten that the other team has been vaporized by Jesus. "SHIT!" she yells. "Do we have to start again?"

[Klynne]

Yep!

[Klynne]

Originally posted by Coffee
uhhh...this is the internet Klynne...no matter where i am...i can still log on. And without the hangover, I can log on earlier...it's all good.

Smoothes from Canada for all.

"Really? I feel much better." Klynne dries her tears, and invites Agent to go to the nearest strip club....

[funkytuba]

As Agent and Klynnne head out to the strip club, Klynne sneezes. The Tuba Collective happen to be downwind.

OMGWeIhavethecrappyalapostopkedyboardsdddisasease! !

DRCatBELLylHELPUS.Isahgtereacurefodrethisdreasedde eddiseasesedessse?

[Klynne]

Dr. Catbelly sighs. Is her work never done? She swigs down the last of her molsen and burps. She looks at the Tuba collection and says "Follow me." They toot and honk, and Dr. Catbelly pinches her nose "Damn you are a stinky bunch, what have you been eating?"

[rapscalious rob]

The oompaloompas laugh an evil laugh that makes all the monkeys skin all bumpy, like uncooked poultry.

[Klynne]

The ompah loompahs close in on the zemonkeys. They monkeys, in a last ditch effort to defend themselves, start hurling their own feces at the evil little beings (sorry, that was pretty disgusting)

[agentsmith]

little do they know that turds only make them stronger!

[Klynne]

As the shvt hits the ompah loompahs, they start to grow. They split out of their little clothes and are fully naked and 60 feet tall!

The monkeys scatter, fleeing into the fake trees on the set.

Agent faces these monsterous ommpah loompahs, and chuckles, "You are so dead right now."

[rapscalious rob]

Suddenly, in a blinding flash, one of the brobdignagian oompaloompas collapses in a heap of ashes, in the middle of which it’s eyes, remarkably, perfectly intact, blink incredulously. The other oompaloompas look on in horror.

“Oh, dear” says a small, nasal-sounding voice. Marvin walks out of the shadows, fidgeting with his gigantic spacegun. “Where’s the Earth-shattering boom?”

[agentsmith]

the oompa loompas are popping into ashen piles all around the terrified zemonkeys.

[rapscalious rob]

Marvin whines plaintively to himself: “I didn’t hear the earth-shattering boom.” He pouts and stomps back to the computer lab.
Agent walks up to one of the ashen piles and looks at one of the blinking eyes. She picks it up and ponders how the eyes are able to blink when the musculature of the eyelids have been burned away from the neurons that should control them. Are these so-called “oompaloompas” really robots sent to conquer earth? If so, was Marvin behind this?

She takes the blinking oompa eyeball to Coffee # 1,the resident physicist, who by now has finished eating the fake samarai sword salesman head. For good measure, she also brings mini Coffee, aka Coffee # 2. So many unanswered questions swirled through her mind, not the least of which was what exactly would become of this meeting of the two Coffees.

[agentsmith]

agents avatar challenges a blinking oompa loompa eyeball to a staring contest, resulting in a draw every time.

[funkytuba]

The Tuba Collective, newly healed from its pottykeyboardbvirus by the inestimable Dr. Catbelly, comes forth and smashes the blinking eyeball with, in turn, a death particulate ray, a death laserinous gamma beam and a death turnip.

[funkytuba]

The turnip backfires spreading root-vegetable-goodness in a spew over all the monkeys assembled.

Agent turns out to be allergic to turnip essence and breaks out in massive hives and 4-inch-diameter pimples on her back... another job for Dr. Catbelly.

[Klynne]

"Game on!" Dr. Catbelly yells...

[Klynne]

Bump

[rapscalious rob]

just a simple bump was all it took. Catbelly lost her balance and fell into Coffee’s arms. Coffee and Catbelly looked into each others eyes with a look that was nigh-unmistakable.

"What are you going to do about these boils on my back?" interrupted Agnes.

[agentsmith]

"rest assured, senorita!" zorro swoops into the set, removing all of the offending boils with one stroke of his sword.

[priceyfatprude]

Just then the Fonz comes running back in, asking "Have you seen Lala?", but not looking where he's going, slips & falls into the humungous puddle of boil pus on the floor.

As he slides past Coffee & Kittentumtum, he says, "Jeez, get a room, willya?" then crashes up against the Tuba Collective, knocking himself out cold.

[agentsmith]

lala appears, taking this oppurtunity to sieze the fonz's jacket once again.

[Avalon]

"Nice material!" said Lala "It is going to cost you an arm and a leg to have this baby cleaned!"

[agentsmith]

zorro attacks, swishing his cape around and demanding that he be given a blow job.

[lapietra]

Lala sizes Zorro up, flings the leather jacket over her shoulder, grabs Zorro by the shirt and leads him away, saying, "Let's get you into a hot shower..."

A faint melody wafts back to the gathered throng... it seems to be a voice humming, "I'm In the Mood for Love"...

[Klynne]

Klynne looks at the love fest happening around her. The zemonkeys are incredibly horny. "Hey are we making a porn now Catbelly?"

Catbelly doesn't reply.....

[Coffee]

From opposite sides of the set, Marvin and Spock emerge frantically twidling dials and knobs on their respective devices. Spock is still looking worried, and Marvin is not flapping along at his usual confident step. They come to a halt simultaneously, coincidentally facing, but completely oblivious to, each other on either side of the enourmous pile of monkeys, movie and tv, literary, mythical, fantasy, Sci Fi, and pychotic characters of every description, size, shape, sexual orientation, color, dress stlye and time period, "a right blooody mess" as Mr. Scott would have said.
Marvin and Spock both exclaim "I think I've got it fixed this time", although, not completly convincingly.

They each hit their buttons at the same exact moment
*Click*
-
-
*wince*

Digresion...Fact is, they both had gotten their gizmos debugged perfectly, and they would have worked perfectly, except neither of them noticed the other party on opposite sides of the fracas. Had they been alone, or had one of them hit their button a second or an instant before the other, that one would have achieved his goal... (spock's goal...he was hoping to wrap up all the loose threads and crazy story lines in this threa, returning all the characters to their proper places in space and time in a seamless and facinating logical and believable manner and thus reversing the temporal damage done by his time line getting mixed up in the Zeuniverse), (Marvin's goal...to destroy the Planet Earth and all Earthlings, Earth animals, plants and rabbits upon it, assuming of course that the process should involve a very large BOOOM, or only be partially succesful).
So, anyhow, it all would have happened just as they each hoped except that by hitting their buttons simultaneously as they did (no...don't bother quoting the odds of such a thing happening by random chance...I realize that it seems impossible... sometimes that's just how chance works) while pointing their gizmos precisly straight at each other's gizmo...yes the further odds of a 6"3 Vulcan and a 2"1" Martian just happening to angle there gizmos down and up respectavly "just so" in order to achieve that precise alignment is out of evern Quantum probability, never the less, it happened, leave me the fark alone...and something amazing, wonderful and totally unexpected happened as a result.

There was an Enormous BOOOOOM...that practically no one heard, well almost totally no one...ok only one person heard it really...and it wasn't Marvin, the space time curvature field that resulted from the "event" intersected both Marvin and Spock partially shielding each of them from the effects of the others gizmos. Marvin did'nt hear the boom, but he wasn't zapped into an alternate universe by Spocks gizmo, Spock wasn't destroyed, and neither did any of his threads get wrapped up, oh, and he heard one hell of an enourmous BOOOOOM, his first clue that his gizmo didn't work again...His second clue was that all the fictional characters remained on the set oblivious to everything that happened, while all the ze monkeys got zapped into an alternate universe where ordinary Zeuniverse physical laws did not apply (uhh...as if they apply there), effectively making all the ZeMonkeys into Super Heros...Spock's transporter effect also caused Marvin's Earth killing Ray to zap another planet...As chance would have it, (*$%@ you... it happened), his own planet Vulcan took the hit, but since there were no rabbits on Vulcan, or many Earthlings or Earth animals for that matter, the damage was pretty minor, almost unnoticed actually by most Vulcans except for some working at zoo's, where most humans went anyhow because they kept the temperature turned down there for the "animals".

Spock shuffled back into the kitchen.
Marvin scampered back to his work shop.

[funkytuba]

Thank God It's Coffee!

[Klynne]

With an avacoda to boot!

[funkytuba]

Your mother flowers smally with elbow hair.

[Magpie]

Originally posted by funkytuba
Your mother flowers smally with elbow hair.
:eek:

[agentsmith]

WTF?

[catbelly]

Agnes!! Where have you been, naughty?

[agentsmith]

i've been here all along


I BOUGHT A KIMONO!!!!

[agentsmith]

catbelly get on yim

[funkytuba]

Catbelly looks across the sound stage at Agent, an expression of vague confusion on her face. Agent points at the computer terminal back in the corner right next to the broom closet. Catbelly rolls her eyes and heads over.

Little does she know that she's playing right into Agent's hands! Because just then from behind the camera, out jumps...

[catbelly]

Lynda Carter!

"OH MY GOD!!" Catbelly is completely taken aback at seeing her idol in person, and almost loses control of her bowels. She completely forgets about trying to figure out YIM, which is a relief, because it would have taken her weeks and weeks and would have involved sherpas and likker.

Lynda Carter winks at Agent and funky and says, "who knew about the smally elbow flower hairs?"

Agent has on her kimono but is having trouble tying the obi. "Gah ... obi .... why didn't the Japanese invent velcro .... jebus .... "

[Klynne]

bump

[zenbabe]

I so wanna party with Simon from American Idol!

[agentsmith]

who should tiptoe furtively onto the set than.....the agent herself! shh........dont tell anyone im here!!!!! *tiptoes out again*

[imdrsmooth]

You can't resist my signature. I knew you'd be back.

[sparticle]

Originally posted by agentsmith
who should tiptoe furtively onto the set than.....the agent herself! shh........dont tell anyone im here!!!!! *tiptoes out again*

I'm tellin'.

welcome back, sweetheart! we love you!


*hugs*

[nycwriters]

What she said.

*smooch*

[agentsmith]

i loves my avvy.....

oh yeah, thanks guys!

[zenbabe]

*lick*

[priceyfatprude]

Agent tiptoes back in, and is welcomed with lots of hugs, and her choice of Jrocker.

Catbelly serves the bread w/Irish butter, and Dee Snider starts to sing.

[agentsmith]

i havent seen dee in a while, not after discovering the world of jrockers.....my my.....

http://www.laruku.com/galleries/ga059/dra06.jpg

[weissenflatz]

*welcomes Agent back, but doesn't really know why she was gone*

[funkytuba]

**

[agentsmith]

ah, the thread finally died......the 3rd page!


i rejoice that it can be done, but however, i must kill it.

[Coffee]

ah, the thread finally died......the 3rd page!


i rejoice that it can be done, but however, i must kill it.

NEVER

Gerbil Crassmass!!!, I leave for a paltry week and this thread slips onto the 3rd page....sheeesh.

So, although I am kind of out of the loop about what Agent has been up to while I was gone...rumor has it that she has been naughty.

*soundly spanks Agent*...no...wait, she would probably like that....
*doesn't spank Agent - thoroughly*

However, given the Agent's typical posts...I am quite mystified about what she could have done that qualified as a "Naughty Agent" post.

Inciting a thermal nuclear riot?
Yelling "fire" in a room full of blind folks?
Farting near open flames?

Well...whatever it was, welcome back Agent.
*Thouroughly doesn't spank Agent again*...Don't do it again...uhhh...whatever it was...

(but PM me with all the details please)
((yes...this board is like my Oprah Springer show, and I am jones-ing cuz I apparently missed some juicy episodes...)):)

[agentsmith]

nothing juicy at all. thoroughly not being spanked is so painful..........*runs away crying*

[zenbabe]

:D

[Klynne]

Agent cries? It must be a ruse. Who is she working with to throw the zemonkeys off balance? Were they ever balanced? Only the Shadow knows.......

[agentsmith]

my, thats a lot of lettuce!

[zenbabe]

agent must have watched that brittney spears movie 'crossroads' again...

[agentsmith]

how dare you!
you know if i watch that my head explodes, you know this....

[Coffee]

KABOOOOOOOOOM

http://www.anatomorphex.com/picts/shatter/FX013_PRINT.jpg


Ouch agent...that looks like that hurt a bit.

[agentsmith]

woah!

[Coffee]

You said it. woah.
Hope you'll be ok.
See ya around...all around.

[Abby Normal]

Now that's what I'd call a big bang.

[agentsmith]

http://ayumi.primenova.com/wallpaper/rainbow_1024.jpg

[Klynne]

ITS ALIVE.....

[Avalon]

And WELL!!

[Klynne]

The monkeys gather around and stare at Agent. She is quite a sight without her head. What is even more amazing is that she is still alive.

Dr. Catbelly quickly determines that Agent is in need of a head transplant. She gives Agent a sedative interveneously and straps her to a gurney.

"I need an assistant for this surgery, any volunteers?" Dr. Catbelly asks.

Ponch and John raise their hands.

"All right, lets go."

[agentsmith]

ooh, can i have miyavi's head??????

[Klynne]

Only if you specifically requested it before you were rendered unconsious. Do you have a living will, or something of the sort drawn up before your beheading? If not, we will just have to find any sort of head that is lying about not being used....

[agentsmith]

i have such a document! i keep it with me always....


the first head i request is miyavi, second, ayumi hamasaki, third, gackt, and fourth, klaha.....


NOW GO BEHEAD THESE MUSICIANS AND BRING ME THEIR HEADS!!!!!

[Klynne]

"So, Coffee, since it was your idea to blow off Agent's head, it is your job to go get miyavi's head for her." Funkytuba orders.

"Your not the boss of me dude." Coffee replies.

Funkytuba's little tubas beep and honk, and surround Coffee.

Coffee decides to comply.

[agentsmith]

coffee is given a bent up exacto knife, a rusty shaver, and the adress to miyavi's apartment.

[zenbabe]

whatever

[Coffee]

However....someone accidentally wrote Zenbabe's adress on the sheet of paper.

Coffee arrives at "miyavi's" adress to find "Miyavi" taking a picture of itself with a bag over his/her head with to a photo of the Unknown comic next to him/her..while mumbling "fark you you maggot Moel...i'm winning that contest".

Coffee is puzzled but thinks to himself...well that sure is convienient...now I don't have to find a bag to carry the stupid head back in.

Coffee brings the head back to Dr. Catbelly as requested.

[agentsmith]

not now son im making.....TOAST!

[Klynne]

Bump

[agentsmith]

hey, i won this time....

[Klynne]

Originally posted by agentsmith
hey, i won this time....

Yep, but did you really???I think you are going to get Zenbabe's head, and that was not on your list of desired heads:)

[agentsmith]

in the time since coffee's post my own head has sprouted back.

[Coffee]

well then...uhhh...what the fark are we gonna do with Zen's head?

[Klynne]

We could give it back to her, or, we could make it into a decorative conversation piece. What do you think?

[Coffee]

Lets send it to Martha Stewart. She could think of something decorative to do with it I bet. And since she's already in jail...how much more trouble could she get into if she recieved a severed head in the mail?

[agentsmith]

im with coffee on that one....

[Klynne]

Excellent idea Coffee. But would we get in trouble for sending a severed head in the mail?

[Klynne]

Give the head to Agent, and she can send it Federal Express next day delivery....

[agentsmith]

not if we dont put a return address....

[Coffee]

Lessons from the Uni-bomber Agent???

[agentsmith]

of course....

[Coffee]

Oh hey...Loooky here.

Zen's ok after all..she tucked her feet up into the bag just before the knife hit her...wow...zen chicks are fasssssttttt.

Heh...I thought that head felt heavy.

Ok. No worries. Nothing to see here folks, move along now.
http://www.digi-hound.com/wp/img_wp3/wp_fireworks_dual3.jpg

[agentsmith]

suuure suure its not that easy!!!!

and where's your license for all them fireworks, hmm?

[Klynne]

Unfortunately, Coffee is hauled off by agents from the Department of Alchol, Tobacco, and Fire Arms....Klynne needs to go to remedial spelling class at the local community college.

[funkytuba]

Meanwhile, back at the sound stage...

The Tuba Collective is wringing its collective hands, er... waldoes, er... grappling hooks, er... manual-manipulative-unit--thingies.

"Oh dear ohdear ohdearohdearohdear . Why ever did I make fun of all those people in the fiction project? It's not like I'm, er... we're, er... our contributions are beyond reproach. We never should have lambasted them and now noone posts... except fot Trisherina and Weissenzengerhammeramishentuchuomkuppeswoddequinvu ppemheimyokommiklinberridefasszsarkenmolikeppijopp onhoopflatzer and the other ZEuroMonkeys."

"Damn that SmartyPants for having to work! Why can't he respond after every one of my communal uber-penta-trochaic-near-rhyming-pseudo-polydactylic -hexa-sonnetemes in real time?"

[agentsmith]

there there, have another handful of almonds.

[funkytuba]

*eats almonds*

*sobs*

[agentsmith]

here have some more my dear

[Coffee]

Watch your back funkythngamajiggy...if Agent is handing you food, she is just fattening you up for a stew.

[Klynne]

"Yes," Agent thinks to herself, "Eat up funky." She tries to decide if she should roast him or sautee him.

"Lets go to the kitchen Funky, I will make you a sandwich."

Funky follows her to the kitchen.

Coffee and Spock are talking quietly about the Universe and all it holds.

Deviate, Lapietra, Beales, Spicy Jack, Red and Willow are reminiscing about their recent trip, and how lucky they were to out run the cops after they stripped down naked and climbed aboard the pirate ship at Treasure Island while shouting ahoy mateys. They shoved all the actors off the ship and did their own rendition of "Oklahoma!" The crowd was rendered speechless. They had heard odd things happen in Vegas, but were not quite prepared for this.

[agentsmith]

arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!



yo ho ho and a bottle of rum....


im fattening up tuba there for a lovely pirate stew...

[rmr]

What you talking about Agent??????

[agentsmith]

does it even matter?

[rmr]

of course it does.....why do you ask such silly questions???

[agentsmith]

don't question my sissy boy samurai avatar........he'll bitch slap you if you arent careful....


get on yim.

[rmr]

Listen you tell that fool you call an avatar that I'm going to introduce him to mr. sock in the puss.

AND I CAN'T GET ON YAHOO........IT KEEPS GETTING STUCK IN THAT SIGN ON MODE.....DAMN THOSE CYBER TERRORISTS.

YOU MANIACS. YOU BLEW IT UP. DAMN YOU. GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.

[agentsmith]

well well well.......FWAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i hope that crowbar knocked some sense into you.......it seems to have succeded in knocking loose a couple teeth....

[Avalon]

ohhh, look what I found..
http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/100605.jpg

[agentsmith]

where'd you get a pic of my sweet ride????? you been stalkin me?

[Avalon]

I'll never tell :p

[agentsmith]

that's what you say now...

*brings out the meathooks and boiling shrimp water*

[funkytuba]

*gets out several lemons, 14 heads of garlic, and 3 lbs of Old Bay*

[Coffee]

Originally posted by rmr

YOU MANIACS. YOU BLEW IT UP. DAMN YOU. GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.

http://datacore.sciflicks.com/the_omega_man/images/the_omega_man_large_02.jpg
Excuse us...we are looking for a friend of ours...we thought we heard his voice in here.


Has anyone seen this man?
http://www.horror-wood.com/mathes15.jpg

[agentsmith]

i saw omega man when i was about 7 and nearly pissed myself.

[funkytuba]

*adds a bottle of natures miracle to the shopping list*

[agentsmith]

ne?