Ask a question, then Answer a new one!

[Klynne]

What goes really well with red wine?

Brazilian bikini waxes.

[lapietra]

What is something I'd rather go single my entire life before enduring?


A bubble bath and a six-pack.

[maychorian]

What are two things that don't mix very well?

Christmas cookies and hot cider.

[lapietra]

What's one of the most wonderful treats imaginable?


Trying to be witty.

[maychorian]

What are we all doing, with varied degrees of success?

Battery-operated dogs.

[Klynne]

What terrifies my cats?

Anxiety attacks.

[lapietra]

What happens when you notice one of your all-time favorite threads has disappeared from the top page of the zeboard?!?


Dinz's modesty.

[maychorian]

What, if it were discovered to exist, might have enough negative power to anihilate the universe?

[dinzdale]

*cough*....answer a new one..*cough*

[maychorian]

So sorry.




Little tiny balls of chocolate chip cookie dough, topped with fudge sauce.

[lapietra]

What, when placed on top of Double Rainbow vanilla ice cream, could possibly cause me to die of happiness?


A shiny little cat butt.

[maychorian]

What is both pleasant and unpleasant at the same time?


Green and black army camoflage.

[agentsmith]

what pattern is tatooed on your ass?


lump.

[lapietra]

What am I very happy to find in my Cream of Wheat?


Cobalt lipstick and a tiara.

[malina]

what would look nice on dinz' bum?


marbles and jellyfish

[dinzdale]

Name the contents of Malina's panties?


Something very fishy.

[jaymirror]

What's the answer to a meaningless question?

You know i do.

[lapietra]

Do you love me enough to be on time and call me back when you say you will?


A 50-pack of cd-roms.

[priceyfatprude]

What is the idiot from Soho buying today?

A dirty sock.

[agentsmith]

What do I have sticking out of my ear?


a half eaten umbrella.

[lapietra]

What's the totoro's leftover lunch?

Stinky feet.

[agentsmith]

what scent is that perfume i just bought?


nast.

[Coffee]

Please fill in the blank. I like to be ____y.

Bubbles.

[lapietra]

What's a good way to disguise cheesy dance music?


Lots and lots and lots of vegetables.

[agentsmith]

what did you feed to a bunny?


SHUT UP!

[Frieda]

what did rune just say to me? :D




ICE ICE BABY

[jaymirror]

what's perfect before cream?

I forgot it!

[agentsmith]

What's your name?


poo

[jaymirror]

What did i just do?

Now i can't stop laughing!!

[agentsmith]

complete the sentance....i just pooped and now.....



GRAR

[Madonna'sBite]

Grar?

Now i see...

[maychorian]

Were you aware that In recent years, the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW) has experienced an increase in its ranks and share of the construction market. ?

Green, because motorcycles don't have doors.

[jaymirror]

What's the carrot between a fark?
(oh, no, it was sthg else... uumm... what was it again?)

it's MINE!!!

[agentsmith]

did you steal that moldy steak from a homeless man?


oh, sure, you say that now!

[Coffee]

If you suck on this I'll be your friend forever.

Handlebar mustaches.

[jaymirror]

What would make my life complete and symbolize my reached full craziness?

Hot dogs

[Coffee]

What would zen look like if you set her on fire.


The Monkeys

[xerocs]

what am i missing?

fairy gnomes

[zenbabe]

can zen be any hotter than she actually is?

3 inches

[Coffee]

What did Zen get in exchange for the 3 miles she took.

Guiness stout.

[xerocs]

can zen be anymore concieted than xerocs?

yeah i said that

[Coffee]

Did you bungle the thread?

Peanut butter.

[xerocs]

am i still missing the point?

carrots

[Coffee]

What would Jay love to see as the 100K post.


Yes you did.

[xerocs]

can i get with the program?

apple martini's

[Coffee]

What goes great with apples?


Toe Jam.

[xerocs]

what is the most disgusting thing you can think of?

wonder bra's

[Coffee]

What did Wonder Woman make her living selling after she was to old and saggy to continue the super hero gig.

Frog lips

[xerocs]

what other part of the frog is air tight?

spinning rims

[Coffee]

What can you clip playing cards to, to make a cool "motor noise".


Rmr.

[zenbabe]

Can you cook salmon in the george forman grill?

nice try

[xerocs]

what would you say to perk xerocs up and completely sidetrack him from his ultimate goal of being the 100,000 post poster child?

gold flakes

[Coffee]

what is the most expensive breakfast cereal?


Nerds.

[xerocs]

what are the true secret identities of xerocs and coffee?

lambda lambda lambda

[Coffee]

How do Greeks spell LLL?

Soul food.

[agentsmith]

what was that male whore's name that just left your apatment?


hey hey we're the monkeys!

[Coffee]

Who are all of you?

Cheese.

[dinzdale]

What is another name for "dream food"?


Hammock.

[Klynne]

What will Klynne be lounging on in two weeks, upon a tropical beach?

No thanks.

[priceyfatprude]

How about some fruitcake?

Sore back.

[~*WickedAngel*~]

What is this feeling I'm having?

Christmas tree topper

[xerocs]

what are you going to do with those stars in your eyes?

that's life

[Coffee]

What is completely up to you?


I can't believe you asked that, shame on you!!!

[agentsmith]

would you give a man a foot massage?http://www.sniff.org/pulp/jules.gif



true, very true, im sorry to say.

[Coffee]

Did your avatar steal my bionic ass?

Jack in the Box.

[agentsmith]

who did the catering at your wedding?




very much so.

[xerocs]

do you feel alone?

wasted time

[lapietra]

What do we call time spent beating ourselves up when we could be doing something fun?

fluffy

[xerocs]

what kind of pillows do you want to sleep on?

xerocs

[lapietra]

What's the name of that guy who has a big crush on rmr?


pink with purple polka dots

[maychorian]

What color is your new settee?

Unpredictably lunatic.

[agentsmith]

what does that sign on your forehead say, the one under that 666 tattoo?



crap.

[lapietra]

What's the acronym for Cheap Redundant Assorted Products?


marshmallow fluff

[dinzdale]

Descride lapietra's pubic hair in two words?


On a roll.

[agentsmith]

How do you buy your stamps?



thats so naughty.

[lapietra]

i'm going to tie Dinz's shoelaces together and then yell "FIRE!!!"


loose change

[dinzdale]

What do you call a shabby sex-change op?


Two answers.

[agentsmith]

I have two questions. what do you have?


a life size stuffed doll in the likeness of cap'n kirk

[Coffee]

What does Spock sleep with at night?


My Checkbook.

[dinzdale]

Beale's brain is as empty as....


a hairy pie with sprinkles.

[agentsmith]

what did you just place in your pants?


hack.

[dinzdale]

When I say "is it in deep enough?", you say...


Relief of swelling.

[Coffee]

What is the long form of Wank.

Early Withdrawal.

[dinzdale]

Stealing from a bank vault at 6 am is called..?


simply irresistable.

[Coffee]

Chocolate Cake and Amis11?


Fruit Cake.

[dinzdale]

What's as unwanted as a fart in a sleeping bag?



wellington boots.

[lapietra]

What does Dinz use when he runs out of Ramses? :p


rubber gloves

[dinzdale]

The single most sexy thing in your wardrobe is.....?



Half a pint of lemonade.

[Coffee]

What is a sure fire cure for Scurvy.


Dried Red Ink.

[lapietra]

What, when mixed with confectioner's sugar and a bit of water, makes a lovely pink decorative icing for gingerbread Dinzes?


snowballs

[dinzdale]

The difference between snowmen and snowwomen is...?


Qumquat.

[Coffee]

Arabic for Female orgasm?


Eggnog.

[lapietra]

What's another name for Chuckie's head?


somewhat ticklish

[Coffee]

How does it feel when I touch you...there.


Ouch.

[agentsmith]

i ate your ass! what do you say to that, hmm?




it was so very good.

[Coffee]

What kind of turd did my ass make the morning after?


Cub Scouts.

[Perky Pat]

what's your sexual predilection?

one perfect diamond.

[Coffee]

What is the proof that a man loves a woman...according to DeBeers?


A hand woven Grass ring.

[agentsmith]

what do you like to wear on your penis??






chortle

[Coffee]

What is your turtle's name?


A clothes pin.

[agentsmith]

what do you wear on your nose at night?



a cucumber.

[Coffee]

What is one of your favorite sexual aids?


A snack.

[agentsmith]

what do i need right now?



oooh

[Coffee]

Oh...sorry...are you sensitive there?


A Glue Stick.

[lapietra]

What's the only thing holding my halo on?



pigs in a blanket

[agentsmith]

what particular mental image do you find the most arousing?


oh, i forgot, sorry.

[lapietra]

GAH!!! Didn't I tell you not to push that button!!! You blew up the WORLD!!!



paper towels

[agentsmith]

what do i clean up the world with?




no! im so sorry! AAAH!

[funkytuba]

Why did you give me dental dams for christmas?


Bcause you shouldn't put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.

[lapietra]

Why do you keep shoving that small ferret against the side of my head?


Char siu bao.

[Coffee]

Morticia...was that french?...kiss kiss kiss.


Because it was my turn to mess up the thread.

[Perky Pat]

was there any reason other than a desire to win a victory for quantity over quality?

a broken toe.

[Coffee]

What might be the result of a fat lady trying to execute complex ballet moves?


A Grilled Cheese Sandwich.

[jaymirror]

What's that on your face man?

Peanut butter-fried banana sandwich.

[Coffee]

What really killed Elvis?


1/2 full.

[jaymirror]

How is my glass of wine right now?

Happy!!

[Coffee]

How you feeling today Carrot girl?


Kind of bored...no work today...think I'll do some baking.

[jaymirror]

And how do you feel?

Tea

[Perky Pat]

Have a nice sit down on my settee. Now, what can I get you?

PANIC.

[Coffee]

If GWB is re-elected...what would be the proper response?


Any Book.

[jaymirror]

What's better than a poke in your stomach?

Hehe!

[jaymirror]

What's gonna kill this thread?

42

[Klynne]

What is six multiplied by seven?

My best friend.

[lapietra]

Who should you marry?


Three pairs of socks.

[SpecialK]

What's in his pants?

sausage

[lapietra]

What's your favorite pizza topping?

be still my beating heart

[SpecialK]

What did you just say?
the basement

[lapietra]

Where did you leave all your marbles?


very very fluffy

[Klynne]

How does my pretty cat look tonight?

Shvt, crap, damn.

[lapietra]

Did you just stub your toe?



A really, *really* good vodka martini.

[rmr]

What just happened to me?

Things could be better.

[funkytuba]

How did Santa describe the situation after his sleigh got caught in the updrafts from all the hot air coming from Dinz' responses to the boring thread?


Slightly olive green flecked with chartreuse.

[masterofNone]

what will my christmas dinner dishes look like if i leave them in the sink till monday?

a midget, a horse, and a deaf mute.

[Magpie]

Are the holidays over YET?(!)

Slightly olive green flecked with chartreuse.

[funkytuba]

What do my christmas dishes look like now that I've left them in the sink until Monday?


Orange Peel Chicken, Steamed Rice and the Distributor Cap From a 1969 Dodge Charger.

[Perky Pat]

what's that bulge in your PANTS?

no thanks, this one will be fine.

[~*WickedAngel*~]

Do you want another one?


Too much of a good thing

[lapietra]

Why did this thread almost die?


Endless creativity.

[Coffee]

Why will this post never die?


Bologna

[priceyfatprude]

What is a ghost's favorite sandwich? (only you have to spell it boo-loney. Blah)

Rice Krispies Treats.

[funkytuba]

What probably wouldn't be a good thing to eat while I've got the stomach flu?


oops!

[lapietra]

Originally posted by priceyfatprude
What is a ghost's favorite sandwich? (only you have to spell it boo-loney. Blah)
hahahahahahahahah

sorry - back to business..


What did Britney say when she woke up the day after her little marital adventure?

Big 'ol wally.

[Coffee]

What brought my morning run in the fog to an abrupt halt.


Tuna fish

[lapietra]

What is the foolproof way to get your cats home, no matter how far they may have roamed?


Taunting the gimp.

[funkytuba]

What would be a nice movie scene re-enactment to put on with my new ball gag and a leather body suit I got for christmas?


Ten tons of bubble wrap.

[lapietra]

What would keep me happily occupied for about 17 hours?


A small, foil-wrapped chocolate Santa.

[Coffee]

What is the next best thing if you dont have a large foil-wrapped chocolate Santa.


Lemon Pudding

[xerocs]

what is the secret that only xerocs knows.... the one that haunts his dreams?

Cari

[masterofNone]

who twisted the heads off of baby chicks in grade school?



would you?

[lapietra]

It all depends. Will there be beans?


Frank Zappa's navel.

[agentsmith]

what do you carress every morning??hmm??

[lapietra]

Wouldn't you like to know? hmmm? :p


my left big toe.

[lapietra]

What is the correlating body part to my right big toe?


One last gasp.

[jaymirror]

What's left for tonight?

Tickling shoulder

[Coffee]

How would I know if you were behind me?


Of course!

[jaymirror]

Shall we have a tea?

A leasing agency

[Coffee]

Where might I find a great place to over-pay for a car?


An Electric Vehicle.

[jaymirror]

what's so silent to the point of being dangerous because you don't hear it coming?

150 euro

[funkytuba]

How much would be overpayed if an EU member decided to buy two months of Prozac in the US instead of in their home country?



A sticking semicolon key.


Edit: extra word brain fart

[jaymirror]

What, among others, could you get if you drink fanta while reading the board?

cooking water

[funkytuba]

What is the lowest level culinary task that my mother-in-law would still fail at?



Speaker wire and a large hunk of iron.

[priceyfatprude]

What does it take to make PFP happy?


Shoveling snow every day.

[funkytuba]

How best to build muscle in the wintertime when you can't make it to the gym?


Autism, Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, and a rather mean lice infestation.

[Coffee]

What is Dinzdale's problem???


Electric Toothbrushes

[jaymirror]

what's something completely useless?


this book:
http://www.kevinfitzmaurice.com/Images/book_code_front_cover.jpg

[maychorian]

What book do you keep by your toilet?

curious monkeys

[red]

Why do we keep coming back to this board?

hooked on performance

[funkytuba]

Why do people use steroids, cocaine, viagra, and cialis?


Fourteen blue irons and a snowblower.

[daverbee]

Is the metric system really necessary in this country?

George Bush.

[masterofNone]

who is really pissed at richard clark?

a pig, a rabbi, and a forklift.

[Spicy Jack]

What was the movie about again?

It's kinda small.

[lapietra]

What's the one of the most distinctive physical features of the state of Vermont?

A t-pin.

[ally]

what comes after a s-pin?

6 red, 2 yellow & 8 green.

[Spicy Jack]

How many chips do you have?

Smelly cheese.

[lapietra]

What should you avoid eating before or during a hot date?

The last crumb donette.

[Coffee]

Multiple choice Question:
How would someone trying to sound French say "Crumb Doughnut".
1. Cremb Doonet
2. Doughnut de Crumbly
3. crumb donette.


A stupid T-shirt

[Spicy Jack]

What is something Ze would make?

All the time.

[ally]

when do you have sex?


in the lift.

[funkytuba]

Where is the most frequent location where Howard Dean kicks himself for going ballistic during his Iowa concession speech?



Four vinyl checkbooks and a fountain pen.

[lapietra]

What was Papa Funky surprised (yet pleased to have finally solved the mystery of why regular shipments of boxes from Toys 'R' Us and Baby Gap kept arriving at the Funky residence) to find stashed away at the bottom of Baby Funky's toybox?


Jello shots, whipped cream and a pair of overalls.

[priceyfatprude]

How do we get Malina back to the board?

Melatonin.

[rapscalious rob]

What are those pills you keep putting in your mouth?

Of course not, silly.

[catbelly]

Don't you get tired of being so rapscalious?


Not in my house.

[rapscalious rob]

Do you know where my pet Komodo dragon is?

Absolutely! Any day of the week.

[Dark Chocolate]

What would Martha’s response be if I asked her if she’d like a get out of jail free card and if so when she’d like it delivered?

Cows or Ducks, but never Okapis.

[catbelly]

Do you change your underwear often, if so, how often might one see fresh tighty whities on you?


I have never seen that woman in my life.

[rapscalious rob]

DC has duly been skipped. Sorry, DC!

Sir, we have reason to believe this woman checked into your motel. She stole $40,000. Do you recognize this picture?

I’ve seen it at the grocery store, but it kinda creeps me out, so I’ve never bought it.

[madasacutsnake]

Have you ever tried osso bucco?

It kind of tastes like chicken.

[catbelly]

Originally posted by rapscalious rob
DC has duly been skipped. Sorry, DC!

Not on purpose! It was a "jinx" moment ... DC owes me a beverage ... or is it me that owes him/her a beverage ... I can never get that straight.


er... so:

What is "natto"?

Fifty MILLION dollars.

edited to say: SHIT!!! I am just too slow on the post.

[rapscalious rob]

*no worries, mate.*

How much money would it take for you to allow Larry Dumbo into your leather pants?

Sheesh. Haven’t I apologized enough?

[Spicy Jack]

Why do you keep sticking those there?

Its kinda furry

[lapietra]

Why do you keep sticking that there?

Sleepy already.

[ally]

it's 10am, how do you fell after a good night's sleep?

a fish was stuck in the pipe.

[Spicy Jack]

What did the mechanic say?

They are real.

[Aphrodite]

Those Wrestling matches on WWF what do you think...Rehearsed or real?


Only if you really stretch.

[Spicy Jack]

Do you think I could bite my toe nails?

I like it in blue.

[rapscalious rob]

what do you think of these new, unusually-colored ketchups?

Of course, all the time! ;)
Hehehe…

[Aphrodite]

Do you ever picture clowns doing it?


Only on Tuesdays.

[rapscalious rob]

Have you ever wondered what would happen if we lived in a spaceship floating through the cosmos and you forgot to pay your gravity bill?

That might not be the best idea. I wouldn’t recommend it.

[daverbee]

Playing electric guitar with wet hands. Good idea or bad?

I'd add more jalapeno peppers.

[Deviate]

what will i do the next time i make black bean salsa?

where the hookers live

[nycwriters]

What is two blocks from my house? ... after all 8th ave is porno row.

Jaw dropping drama

[Deviate]

What will a viewer avoid by watching the WB?


a buck and a quarter

[funkytuba]

A doe walks into a bar...



Never. Well... actually, always.

[ally]

how many times have you had obcene thoughts about other members on this board?

sometimes small & pink, sometimes huge & red.

[madasacutsnake]

What color is the sun?

You can use peanut butter instead.

[daverbee]

Is there an alternative to sunblock?

Twice that I know of.

[maychorian]

Has your cat ever swallowed the moon?

Sixty-two feet and two inches.

[ally]

how far does the snot go when your cat sneezes?


very very quietly.

[McFlibbish]

Why would that make my rectum itch?

As far as I can tell, the penguin was the one who needed it most.

[ally]

why would that make my rectum itch? very very quietly.

that doesnt make sense.

[funkytuba]

Paraphrase for me The Chewbacca Defense...


Only when I'm immobilized.

[maychorian]

Do you ever see flying monkeys and little green fairies?

I don't understand the question. (Raisins.)

[Dark Chocolate]

GRAPES!?!?!?!?

ew.

[daverbee]

Would you like to see what I just sneezed into this hankie?

Left foot, right foot.

[Avalon]

How do you put your shoes on?

Over there in the corner cowering

[daverbee]

Has anyone seen Condi Rice?

Sooner or later, I'm sure.

[Avalon]

Will the truth ever come out?


I bought it on Ebay

[daverbee]

Where'd you get the compromising picture of Henry Kissenger?

Fourth from the left.

[Avalon]

Which one is me?

I suppose I could fed ex it for you

[daverbee]

Could I borrow a cup of sugar?


Railroad spikes.

[agentsmith]

what's up your ass?

well, if you insist, i suppose.......

[madasacutsnake]

Can I come stay with you for three months?

I've been caught that way before.

[Avalon]

with your pants around your ankles?

They flowers are lovely this time of year.

[daverbee]

How's your marijuana crop?

Around 6:00 this evening.

[funkytuba]

When will I know if my team won?



It's great.. to be... a fuuuuzzy bee..

[Avalon]

What is the title to that kid's song again??

If you insist.

[daverbee]

Could you let go of Hugh Jackman just for a little while?

Only after sunset.

[madasacutsnake]

When can I hang my underwear out?

It looks like a tomato (but it's not a tomato) with a grid on it. (For real I heard this on old persons' gardening talkback radio).

[Avalon]

What is this stuff I pulled out of your pocket?

I did, I did, I swear I did.

[madasacutsnake]

Didn't you lock the gerbil cage?

I'm sorry officer.

[daverbee]

Didn't I tell you to let go of Hugh Jackman??

Vacuum cleaners.

[madasacutsnake]

What really sucks?

I have three at home.

[Avalon]

What ever happened those gerbils?

Last night on the USA network

[madasacutsnake]

Has any-one seen any bad TV lately?

Voire dire.

[Avalon]

Noah's Arc?


It's lovely when the the sunlight hits it.

[madasacutsnake]

Does any-one mind if I air myself?

I thought it was glass but it's plastic.

[Avalon]

Do you like my new fake eye?

My dog chewed a hole in it.

[daverbee]

What happened to W's constitutional ban on gay marriage?

Up in a tree.

[Avalon]

Have you seen my kite?

Why is that crowd gathered around?

[madasacutsnake]

Ask a question?

Ask a question?

[Avalon]

Have I had too much Bicardi?

I put the bottle back behind the bar ;)

[madasacutsnake]

Has any-one seen my new hair color?

There are too many of them. We'll have to take the back route.

[Avalon]

Why are all these police on the road?

I heard it on the grapevine.

[Klynne]

How did you know about that?

Chocolate bunnies and eggs.

[madasacutsnake]

How did you know that a group of cows is called a herd?

Yes, but I want it on record that I have never licked an eyeball

[agentsmith]

can i write an expose on your life for the newspaper?


oh my god, put that away!

[madasacutsnake]

How was I to know it was out?

I lik the way the center melts in your mouth.

[Aphrodite]

Do you like malted milk balls?

At the circus, like everybody else.

[Avalon]

Where did you get that huge, pissing elephant??

I don't see why not..if your mom says it's okay.