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please will you sit beside me at this afternoon's advanced decision-making skills for REGIONAL MANAGERS seminar?
no fvckken way is this quiche!
12"razormix
09-12-2006, 07:20 AM
will you look at the lovely ornamental flowers and tassels on grandma's quiche, isn't it just a delight?
i haven't decided yet - ornamental hens or ornamental crocodiles..
which of your many collections are you taking along to the auchtermuchty women's guild "show & tell" open-mike afternoon?
they’re just so comfortable!
12"razormix
09-12-2006, 08:09 AM
do you really have to wear those sock suspenders with your bermudas?
i'll be darned!
LeahDear
09-12-2006, 08:44 AM
what was your sewing teacher's response to the willy warmer you made?
leek and potato
look at the state of you! what have you been rolling in?
it's kind of hypnotic
craig johnston
09-12-2006, 02:15 PM
why are you staring at your navel again?
a miserable old so and so.
jodee
09-12-2006, 02:16 PM
Do you like my grandfather?
only when winter comes
Coffee
09-12-2006, 07:23 PM
Do you think you will try those new insulated condoms?
3 feathers, some paste, a sharpened 24" X 1/4" dowel, a non-support bra, and a large springy curved stick.
Jack Flanders
09-12-2006, 07:28 PM
Ok smart-ass. What are you going to use to shoot the stupid apple off his head?
my really stinky, dirty sneakers.
Brynn
09-12-2006, 08:02 PM
What do you use to make your roses bloom?
speaking is difficult, but I get a big kick out of it.
funkytuba
09-13-2006, 12:50 AM
What are your thoughts on having a fungal infection in your mouth due to your foot-licking fetish?
Because my 4 year old ate the ball out of the mouse.
Jack Flanders
09-13-2006, 01:18 AM
and you are going to the hospital because...?
the sky is too blue.
why are you wearing all yellow?
it was fun while it lasted.
craig johnston
09-13-2006, 07:25 AM
what did you think of razor's three second firework extravaganza?
two turntables and a microphone
Where it's at?
it's close.
craig johnston
09-13-2006, 07:30 AM
where's your head at?
a knife, a fork, a bottle and a cork
12"razormix
09-13-2006, 08:08 AM
which 4 items play a role in your favourite sexual fantasy?
blargh
hi schtremee, how are you? :)
toe
12"razormix
09-13-2006, 09:07 AM
what was missing in johnston's list?
oh, it's DARLING, why thank you so much, it's sitting on my mantelpiece and i can't keep my eyes off it!
craig johnston
09-13-2006, 09:17 AM
how'd ya like that hitler doll?
a very long feather
johnston, what did you use to "make the old-dears go nuts" as you played them "the birdie song" at grab-a-grannie night?
OMG LOL ROFL HAHAHA - YOU TOTALLY MADE ME SPLURGE MY FIZZY DRINK DOWN MY NOSE
craig johnston
09-13-2006, 11:29 AM
remember jessie?
no strings attached
trisherina
09-13-2006, 12:11 PM
What's a good way to get toxic shock syndrome?
I sing you to sleep, after the loving.
JunaD
09-13-2006, 06:19 PM
Toxic Shock Syndrome? The internet says that tampons cause it.??:confused:
What new ipod would you get? Regular, Nano or Shuffle?
funkytuba
09-13-2006, 06:23 PM
So, I need something to help me sing someone to sleep after the loving. What sorts of question should I ask myself about the device I'm thinking about buying?
thank god we found all the pieces
craig johnston
09-13-2006, 07:47 PM
what happened to your favourite alpine scene jigsaw puzzle after
the vacuum cleaner ran amok?
the blimp frank, it's the blimp!
Coffee
09-13-2006, 09:07 PM
What does Ze's new midgit sidekick usually say when new folks register on the message board?
A package of weiners and a hockey stick.
Jack Flanders
09-13-2006, 11:29 PM
Your'e cooking what with what?
going out for dinner.
12"razormix
09-14-2006, 08:33 AM
what's the most poptastic thing you did last month?
the train did not stop and i was late anyway
hi zormnix!! what brings you to ecclefechan today!? and come to think of it shouldn't you be at work?
in an airsealed extra large ziploc® bag, forgotten at the back of the refridgerator (1½ years)
Brynn
09-14-2006, 03:34 PM
where's your soul for safe-keeping these days?
there was an explosion, and then stars were dancing around everywhere.
funkytuba
09-14-2006, 06:41 PM
So, tell me about the plot of "Big Bang, The Musical"?
chewing on ice
Jack Flanders
09-14-2006, 06:43 PM
What happened when YOU mixed the baking soda and vinegar?
I really thought that was really rude of you.
(Crap!!! This was for Brynn's.)
Jack Flanders
09-14-2006, 06:46 PM
So, tell me about the plot of "Big Bang, The Musical"?
chewing on ice
What caused that massive ice cream headache?
I thought that was really rude of you.
Klynne
09-15-2006, 12:54 AM
So, what, I set your car on fire, what is your problem?
I miss my sanity
craig johnston
09-15-2006, 05:54 PM
why are you going back to lapland mrs claus?
due to unforeseen circumstances
dinzdale
09-15-2006, 05:56 PM
Why did Psychic Network shut down?
One's a fish.
craig johnston
09-15-2006, 05:58 PM
tell me about your family
four acres and a mule
Brynn
09-15-2006, 09:55 PM
what did your date look like last night?
because the police department needs donations
Jack Flanders
09-15-2006, 11:29 PM
So why did the cop stop you in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot?
No really. I mean it!
craig johnston
09-16-2006, 06:50 AM
Do you really expect us to believe that you are the
reincarnation of amelia earhart?
hot asian chix!
So exactly why did you break your nose against the aeroplane window while flying over China?
Beethoven's socks
craig johnston
09-18-2006, 08:45 AM
so what was the highlight of your trip to vienna?
flabberghasted!
Brynn
09-18-2006, 02:55 PM
how do you feel now that your girlfriend has banned you from the Hot Asian Chix website?
they're all one size, and there's a free toy inside.
craig johnston
09-19-2006, 05:47 PM
can you decribe hot asian chix?
bah, humbug!
mugen
09-28-2006, 01:55 PM
So how about those girls titties?
Oh man! what did do that for?!!!!!!
schark
09-28-2006, 02:53 PM
How would you confusingly answer a question with a question?
Yes, it will fall off.
craig johnston
09-29-2006, 11:27 AM
will anything happen to your nose during the fight scene?
he had the last laugh when he won that oscar thing though, didn't he?
mugen
09-29-2006, 03:18 PM
don't you think that actor guy is neither talented nor atractive, how do this people get on films anyway?
[sorry for quasi-screwing the thread up :o ]
There you go.
Got chocolate?
Um, yeah I think so. Wait. No. No, maybe not. Or... maybe, yeah, possibly, I think it might... No. Just no. No way.
mugen
09-30-2006, 05:15 PM
You think you can get this splinter out of my eye?
Well, yes; if you got enough spare change.
Tranzition
10-04-2006, 04:51 AM
Can we get a twix from the vending machine?
Only when she asks him for it.
mugen
10-06-2006, 08:27 PM
Johnny, does daddy hit mommy at home?
I don't know man. All i have left is all this copies of that "Heal the World" album and one Paulo Coelho book.
craig johnston
10-09-2006, 07:17 AM
can you pay 'the man' this week?
not on your nelly!
trisherina
10-09-2006, 12:13 PM
Have you met my daughter Nelly, with the flat head? Hey, where are you going to put that six-pack of beer?
I thought that you'd put it out.
O LOOK EVERYBODY - TRISHERAMA'S ARSE IS ON FIRE!!
simply send £5 in real money to my house and you will be sent full instructions
LeahDear
10-09-2006, 01:14 PM
Please tell me the secrets of time travel
sparkplugs
JunaD
10-09-2006, 02:33 PM
Answer to previous question...whatever it was. No!!!
My question...What's the best TV show to watch this week?
Hyakujo's Fox
10-09-2006, 06:38 PM
If you could meet the wisest man in all the world and ask a single question, what would it be?
I thought it was a buffet.
dinzdale
10-09-2006, 06:52 PM
Why are you eating my laundry?
Because I-I-I-I C-A-A-A-A-N-N
Avalon
10-09-2006, 08:00 PM
Why are you wearing a party hat on your bum cleavage?
A nun with a gun.
Coffee
10-09-2006, 10:20 PM
What did you want to be when your grew up?
A sing-a-long with lewd lyrics.
Klynne
10-09-2006, 11:29 PM
What would you like for dinner?
Shut up!
Coffee
10-10-2006, 12:34 AM
What does your lover say while making love that turns you on the most?
4 little duckies.
trisherina
10-10-2006, 12:51 AM
What's left after I ate one of a family of five this evening? (delicious!)
On the table.
funkytuba
10-10-2006, 05:41 PM
Where is the last place you want to find your miniature australian shepherd just before your dinner party starts?
I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care
craig johnston
10-10-2006, 05:47 PM
how do you feel about the poor little orphan children tubes?
a razzle and a dazzle and lotsa glittery sparkly stuff, y'know?!
Coffee
10-10-2006, 07:28 PM
What are you thinking in terms of design for your band outfits?
Snake oil and a cotton swab.
lapietra
10-10-2006, 08:18 PM
What's that there you're using fer bait to catch that humongous tuna, Coffee?
Lots and lots of little colored boxes.
What do you get when you enlarge a photo by 400%?
A really great shower.
Hyakujo's Fox
10-13-2006, 11:43 PM
What's the one thing better than a great shower?
I let go of the peanut.
trisherina
10-13-2006, 11:50 PM
What did you do when the elephant sneezed?
It was a phenomenon in the '70s.
Jack Flanders
10-14-2006, 12:39 AM
What was getting my roommate to class?
I really like to sleep.
mugen
10-14-2006, 10:17 AM
hey, waht's up with all those pills?
No, I'm not punching you in the face. I don't care waht you say.
craig johnston
10-14-2006, 04:04 PM
show me taht you love me......
teh taht waht yuo konw aobut
Jack Flanders
10-14-2006, 04:08 PM
Waht teh fcuk wsa taht?
I think my eyes are starting to cross.
Tunesmith
10-14-2006, 11:41 PM
So, what's new and exicting with you?
Yes, I was semi-conscious.
Hyakujo's Fox
10-15-2006, 10:05 PM
So Mr Smith, after you'd spent the entire evening drinking at the pub, did you notice anything unusual as you left?
It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Coffee
10-16-2006, 04:55 AM
Why were you born?
Cats and Dogs.
craig johnston
10-16-2006, 06:34 AM
what will soil this carpet?
because they are dirty, smelly and incontinent
funkytuba
10-16-2006, 07:01 PM
Why don't you just buy your own tech support person?
The little amber blinking LED of mild annoyedness.
craig johnston
10-17-2006, 02:18 PM
what's the name of your new band tubes?
and they eat their own vomit.
funkytuba
10-17-2006, 03:16 PM
What's an alternate phrase for "also, they regurgitate and chew a partially-digested bolus of food known as cud" when describing ruminants?
My keyboard itches.
Tunesmith
10-17-2006, 07:16 PM
Why the hell did you use up the moisturizer?
Ode to a corrupted mp3 file.
Coffee
10-17-2006, 07:30 PM
What is playing on your CD player right now?
Nuts.
Would you like a bad case of eczema or some nuts?
A dust ball the size of your head.
craig johnston
10-18-2006, 09:42 AM
what's for breakfast?
it was quite a mouthful.
Avalon
10-18-2006, 11:35 AM
What did that porn star say?
That's what happens when you don't listen to your mom.
I'm blind. WTF?
A really short pencil.
trisherina
10-18-2006, 01:53 PM
What was David Lee Roth talking about in Hot for Teacher?
Long, porous bones and frozen ground.
Brynn
10-18-2006, 04:21 PM
Could you please give me the recipe for a hip fracture?
they mate for life, that's why.
craig johnston
10-18-2006, 07:16 PM
hey, why are there no singles bars for pigeons?
slap it on like there's no tomorrow.
Tunesmith
10-18-2006, 10:20 PM
Are you sure cream cheese is good for sunburns?
A total of 2735 consecutive hours.
Coffee
10-19-2006, 12:24 AM
How long has your computer been crunching SETI data?
An estimated 5.76402274438 to the 27th power hours to go.
Jack Flanders
10-19-2006, 12:38 AM
.
Coffee
10-19-2006, 12:47 AM
OMG...that was not a question that worked with the answer provided for you...don't you realize that you just farked up the entire thread?:mad:
Pttttpptttttppbbbbttttt.
Jack Flanders
10-19-2006, 01:00 AM
Sorry. Didn't mean it. :) Are you chilling?
Coffee
10-19-2006, 01:24 AM
dang...now you really messed it up Jack. Un-edit what you deleted...it was fine...my ":mad:" post was just fixing your "mess-up" post, and it worked with your "answer".
Hyakujo's Fox
10-19-2006, 02:29 AM
An estimated 5.76402274438 to the 27th power hours to go.
How long before you and Jack get back in sync on this thread?
A passionate blend of tropical flavours.
craig johnston
10-19-2006, 04:45 AM
how would you describe your love life fox?
peace, love and understanding
Brynn
10-19-2006, 10:19 AM
What's so funny?
it's because you don't water them.
LeahDear
10-19-2006, 12:38 PM
Why aren't my children growing very fast?
lime, ginger and honey
craig johnston
10-19-2006, 05:58 PM
in what do you prefer to bathe?
slime, ganja and money.
craig johnston
10-19-2006, 05:58 PM
:D :) ;) :rolleyes: :o :( :eek: :confused:
Coffee
10-19-2006, 07:35 PM
Just who do you think you are, and why did you feel you had the right to double post?
Excessive smiley use on a public forum.
What's a sure sign of a high IQ?
I don't know, and if I did I wouldn't tell you.
;) :o :rolleyes: :( :) :D
Hyakujo's Fox
10-19-2006, 09:16 PM
Where are the 'erogenous zones'?
flat on his back, clutching a rose
Jack Flanders
10-19-2006, 11:45 PM
How was Hfox doing after a strenuous Birthday party?
a rose is a rose is a rose...
craig johnston
10-20-2006, 10:00 AM
what arose?
i blame sambuca
Coffee
10-20-2006, 01:00 PM
Why are you paying so much in child support to all those women Craig?
Digi-camera piccys please.
dinzdale
10-20-2006, 02:48 PM
Ans: Digi-camera piccy's please.
Q: Is it possible Leonardo da Vinci veiwed the world as a Hologram within a Kaleidoscope of the universe?
Ans: I would be interested to here from you on this subject
Q: If you read an entire thread, do you think you would get the gist of it?
Ans: What Coffee said.
craig johnston
10-21-2006, 07:23 AM
Is it possible Leonardo da Vinci viewed the world as a Hologram within a Kaleidoscope of the universe?
the pope
funkytuba
10-23-2006, 05:43 PM
Who is that on your rope, you dope?
Unexpectedly gaseous.
dinzdale
10-23-2006, 05:52 PM
How was your date with Halle Berry?
Achtung! Spitfuhren!!
funkytuba
10-23-2006, 08:05 PM
I need something to yell out when Hitler jumps into the swimming pool. Dinz, can you help me out?
Deliberately overfed.
How would you describe your physique?
Just for today
Coffee
10-24-2006, 01:36 PM
Will you be my best friend...Pleeeeese?
Bannanas dipped in peanut butter.
craig johnston
10-24-2006, 02:58 PM
how would you describe your wedding night?
faster, better, cheaper, obsolete
dinzdale
10-24-2006, 03:01 PM
And how would your girlfriend descibe you, Craig?
in the best possible tatse. :)
in the best possible tatse. :)
How does a dyslexic dress?
Shredded wheat
dinzdale
10-24-2006, 03:04 PM
So, Ambo, what did you go for instead of the brazilian?
Warp factor 8 Mr Scott.
Coffee
10-24-2006, 03:04 PM
edit...cuz Dinz beat me to it
Captain, how fast would you like me to get you to the planet with all the hot babes?
10 syllables
dinzdale
10-24-2006, 06:47 PM
If I called you a nit-picker, you'd say?......
Martin, Barton and Farbellow
Coffee
10-24-2006, 07:09 PM
What are your 3 biggest concerns about matrimony?
A 3.5" floppy.
lapietra
10-24-2006, 07:13 PM
What's that there you're using as a coaster?
A small pink post-it.
Coffee
10-24-2006, 07:16 PM
What's that there you are writing a note on :p
Bose noise cancelling headphones and crunchy food.
trisherina
10-25-2006, 01:23 AM
What two things should you bring to your single-engine cross-country flight?
It uses mainly primary sources.
craig johnston
10-25-2006, 07:38 AM
could you describe the male brain please?
random, unpredictable, and subject to wild mood swings.
funkytuba
10-25-2006, 03:01 PM
Is there a reason why you're always posting at 3:38am, CJ?
We're concerned.
craig johnston
10-26-2006, 04:26 AM
how do you californian beach bums feel about the
fact that you are in the wrong time zone?
like pouring honey into your ears.
funkytuba
10-27-2006, 01:37 AM
What simile sounds good at first but leaves you kind of squicked out once you imagine it?
All the hair follicles on my right arm.
craig johnston
10-27-2006, 07:06 AM
which part of your body are you leaving to science after you die?
not on your nelly!
Brynn
10-27-2006, 03:25 PM
Hey CJ, wanna go to church with me this Sunday?:D
no charge for the pink highlighter.
funkytuba
10-28-2006, 10:45 PM
My two year old is opening her own beauty shop. Any ideas for a special promotion she could offer to encourage new business?
Just Get Out. Now.
trisherina
10-29-2006, 01:01 AM
What do you tell yourself to prevent premature ejaculation, funky?
An international spectacle.
Jack Flanders
10-29-2006, 02:08 AM
What do you see as the next worldwide embarrassment?
Well!!! I never saw that coming!!!
funkytuba
10-29-2006, 04:27 AM
How does Trisherina feel about premature ejaculation?
Never been a problem. No sir. Not never.
trisherina
10-29-2006, 05:27 AM
Have you ever tried Viagra?
The results were negative.
Hyakujo's Fox
10-29-2006, 09:22 AM
What happened when you tried subtracting larger numbers from smaller ones?
You could look at it that way.
craig johnston
10-29-2006, 12:13 PM
shall i look at it while standing on my head, wearing bifocals and eating a banana?
because she wanted a new little african baby of her very own.
trisherina
10-29-2006, 01:14 PM
Why did Madge shut down the vadge?
Use only beeswax or lemon oil and a soft cloth.
Jack Flanders
10-30-2006, 12:47 AM
Why did Madge shut down the vadge?
Holy snort laugh!!!
Jack Flanders
10-30-2006, 12:53 AM
What do you use for a good wood rub?
I'm sorry, again.
What? There's soggy cereal all over my roof, again. What the hell...?
Derr.
funkytuba
10-31-2006, 03:56 PM
If a non english speaker didn't know about abbreviations, how would they pronounce the title for someone who had a MD ?
a big comfy green knit sweater covered with silly string and vomit
dinzdale
10-31-2006, 04:18 PM
What did your wife look like the very first time you saw her in the dayligh?
It appears to be some sort of giant sausage.
Avalon
10-31-2006, 04:36 PM
What is that in your pocket?
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
dinzdale
10-31-2006, 04:46 PM
What will it take for me to get a lick of the cat?
Avast Behind!!!!
Avalon
10-31-2006, 04:50 PM
So, how did she look walking away?
:rolleyes: :p
It's always worse in the winter.
dinzdale
10-31-2006, 05:02 PM
How's the nudism going these days , Avvy?
You'll never take me alive, copper!! :mad:
Avalon
10-31-2006, 05:22 PM
Sir, do you know why I stopped you?
A pink flamingo and a bowling ball.
dinzdale
10-31-2006, 05:36 PM
Mrs Avalood, your first guess at this week's mystery sex aid is...?
Deal
Avalon
10-31-2006, 06:00 PM
If I give you half, do you promise not to tell?
3 days off and a script for pennicillin.
dinzdale
10-31-2006, 07:22 PM
Craig Johnson sent her flowers, what did he get in return?
Kickin' Boo-tay :)
Brynn
10-31-2006, 09:28 PM
What's the secret "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" name for your Halloween costume tonight, little boy??
I saved a caramel apple-on-a-stick for you.
funkytuba
11-01-2006, 05:09 PM
Got any incognito razor blades for me?
A dog made out of bulldog clips.
Avalon
11-01-2006, 05:46 PM
Wow! That's,um..original; what is it?
Because the bank forclosed.
Why were you listening to Country music?
You'd better believe it.
LadyCrow
11-01-2006, 06:15 PM
Why are you always telling me what to do?!?!
A bag of mouldy tangerines.
Avalon
11-01-2006, 07:17 PM
What is that smell coming from your fridge??
Cause Baby's gotta eat!
dinzdale
11-01-2006, 07:33 PM
Why are you on your 4th plate of beans?
Loosen her clothing.
CherishHellfire
11-01-2006, 08:56 PM
How can we make her feel more at home?
The bags on fire.
Avalon
11-02-2006, 12:11 PM
Why did you toss that bag of dog poop?
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Mentos
craig johnston
11-02-2006, 12:55 PM
name two things that suck
karl hungus
funkytuba
11-04-2006, 11:40 PM
Did you get anything about The Big Lebowski?
Just make it stop. Now.
Brynn
11-05-2006, 11:12 AM
How are you enjoying the endless loop of Barry Manilow tunes piped into your sound system?
a samurai sword just doesn't cut it
craig johnston
11-05-2006, 02:18 PM
what is xfox's birthday cake like?
they don't wrinkle because of the hairs.
funkytuba
11-06-2006, 06:43 AM
So, what's your excuse for 4:25am postings?
A noseful of snot and an earful of wax.
Brynn
11-06-2006, 09:56 PM
That's an amazing likeness of George Bush - what did you sculpt it with?
The Democrats are going to have another election stolen from them anyway, so why bother?
funkytuba
11-07-2006, 12:54 AM
You up for another Liberals Anonymous meeting?
The beatings will continue until crying ensues.
Brynn
11-07-2006, 02:31 PM
How are you going to get grandma to lend you her car?
As long as we hear movement in the other room, it'll be okay.
funkytuba
11-08-2006, 01:33 AM
What principle is used by many young parents to sneak in a quickie while their toddler kids are in the bath?
Liberace in effigy at the apogee.
trisherina
11-08-2006, 02:06 AM
What did Fibonacci predict for the perigee?
3 billion dollars a week.
funkytuba
11-08-2006, 04:13 AM
How much will be saved on shipping once global climate change makes the northwest passage a viable transportation option?
It's the smell that seals the deal.
craig johnston
11-08-2006, 05:00 AM
what is frieda's motto as she heads off once
again to her local coffee shop?
the dullest subject on earth.
funkytuba
11-08-2006, 07:20 PM
Are you a chopstick sharpener?
Don't let the door hit ya where the Lord split ya.
craig johnston
11-09-2006, 12:49 PM
any last words for 'rummy', tubes?
a towel and a toothpick.
Avalon
11-09-2006, 06:49 PM
What did the judge give you in the settlement?
3 penguins and Ryan Phillippe
Audreyvgs
11-09-2006, 11:44 PM
Guess who's Happy Feet are shufflin off to look for some warmth?
A tire iron and 3 bricks.
funkytuba
11-10-2006, 12:04 AM
Party of the First Part claims that Party of the Second Part made projectiles of what four items with which to bash in Party of the First Part's head?
"Daddy! I all done!"
Jack Flanders
11-10-2006, 01:31 AM
:D Laura, home?
craig johnston
11-10-2006, 07:38 AM
have you finished your english homework?
a singular inability to comprehend this thread.
funkytuba
11-10-2006, 04:28 PM
So, Ms. Ross, what do all those doofuses watching you sew that flag have in common?
I'll have another. Quickly, please.
craig johnston
11-10-2006, 06:48 PM
so what did you say to the madam at 'las cucarachas' bordello
in tijuana, mexico (tel. 330 6815)?
he was smothered in it.
Hyakujo's Fox
11-14-2006, 11:03 AM
What do you mean exactly when you say your granddad died of marmalade poisoning?
A light bulb and a heavy heart.
funkytuba
11-14-2006, 05:21 PM
What did you take back to the nursery when you found that the tulips weren't growing as expected?
15 lbs of uneaten dai chin chicken and four tablets of Naproxen sodium 220mg
Brynn
11-14-2006, 08:54 PM
What did you stuff your cat with to make it look so alive?
yes, but the leaves turn such pretty colors.
trisherina
11-15-2006, 01:56 AM
Haven't you heard it's bad for you, smoking that stuff?
Peacefully detached.
funkytuba
11-15-2006, 11:01 AM
What sort of attitude about being the president will make you get [us] stuck in Iraq?
He was talking about education, optics, and abnormal psychology.
craig johnston
11-15-2006, 11:06 AM
so what were h.fox's chat up lines?
smouldering with unfulfilled passion.
Brynn
11-16-2006, 02:24 AM
how was lunch with Danny Bonaduce?
it's all about making a good script great.
dinzdale
11-16-2006, 11:23 AM
What's the key to making really good porn?
Flexi-time
craig johnston
11-16-2006, 12:44 PM
why did you come so early?
it was going for a thong.
Brynn
11-16-2006, 01:29 PM
What did you trade for that thexy corthet and garterth thet?
If only they had called first.
craig johnston
11-16-2006, 08:20 PM
so, were your family surprised when they came home
unexpectedly and found you in the sauna with that
group of hunky swedish ice hockey players?
it was something to do with an apple and a snake.
funkytuba
11-28-2006, 03:49 PM
Why did Peter Gabriel start his solo career?
It was a meta-meat-mate.
Brynn
11-28-2006, 04:48 PM
Whoah, wait - a meta-what-mate?
No, the meta-meat-mate was why I stopped being a vegetarian.
skip intro
11-28-2006, 05:55 PM
did you stop being a vegetarian after you came out in that nasty rash?
potocopakettel
funkytuba
11-29-2006, 08:02 PM
What's an anagram for "Let a tot pop coke"?
Community Property With Right Of Survivorship
craig johnston
11-30-2006, 05:44 AM
how do you usually introduce your wife tubes?
rumspringa
12"razormix
11-30-2006, 05:55 AM
what's the opposite of a stillsteha?
it's happened before and it will happen again
as well as sporting your usual "pants hiked up really high" look, are you aware that you've also got them on back to front today?
frresh with the tang of citrus
craig johnston
12-01-2006, 07:03 AM
how did you smell after the typing test zero?
silly mid-off
daverbee
12-01-2006, 10:15 AM
What's your nickname down at the local police station?
The Infield Fly Rule.
funkytuba
12-01-2006, 03:03 PM
What's your favorite way to confuse the cat?
oatmeal on my wallet
craig johnston
12-04-2006, 06:17 AM
so what's your excuse for not paying this time tubes?
he could crack a lock from any position
funkytuba
12-05-2006, 09:22 PM
So, CJ, what skill of your former "roommate" in cell block A12 came in handy?
It's not a bald spot, it's a balding spot.
daverbee
12-06-2006, 10:34 AM
Why can I see your subfloor underneath the carpet?
It didn't make sense to me, either.
FJeff
12-06-2006, 11:19 AM
Why are you constantly making bad puns about your piggy bank?
Exactly 3 metric tons of squid.
dinzdale
12-06-2006, 11:32 AM
What are you wearing?
connected to the knee bone
Coffee
12-06-2006, 01:56 PM
What is your relationship to Zero?
A blank CD/R.
LeahDear
12-06-2006, 02:29 PM
What would be the 1 luxury item you'd take to a desert island?
a bucket of jellied eels and some red nail polish
funkytuba
12-06-2006, 02:58 PM
What would the worst sushi chef in the world come to work with?
A 2-week-old banana with exactly 316 spots.
FJeff
12-06-2006, 03:37 PM
What on earth was so important that you would miss your own wedding?
Bob Saget wearing a thong.
12"razormix
12-06-2006, 03:38 PM
who took your place at said wedding?
seven green ones, a little bit of milk and some gold dust
trisherina
12-06-2006, 04:06 PM
What's the Mac recipe for making pea green eyeshadow?
There will be some "hands on" activities for the children.
dinzdale
12-06-2006, 04:28 PM
Hey Michael, what's going on at Neverland this weekend?
Big Daddy
12"razormix
12-06-2006, 04:31 PM
was it "big" or "yo"???
just say when
daverbee
12-06-2006, 04:42 PM
What was that word I was supposed to use just before you filled my glass, which is even now overflowing, reached a level I could accept?
He brought it on himself.
FJeff
12-06-2006, 06:50 PM
What's all this I hear about this War On Christmas O'Reillys been ranting about?
In a box, under The lake.
where in god's name did we bury pepe??
a change is going to come
craig johnston
12-07-2006, 06:04 AM
what are you planning to do about that hairstyle?
a beehive, circa 1962
daverbee
12-07-2006, 03:16 PM
Where has Jimmy Hoffa been all these years?
Five gallons exactly.
Coffee
12-07-2006, 09:01 PM
I'm considering donating sperm...how large a sample is usualy required?
:eek: EEK!!!
Clowns?
Oh really, I thought you'd heard the screams and come to investigate.
craig johnston
12-08-2006, 08:29 AM
can i have a go in your dungeon?
the breaststroke
daverbee
12-08-2006, 10:36 AM
What is an acceptable term for groping someone you don't know?
A hot dog in a bun.
craig johnston
12-08-2006, 12:19 PM
What is an acceptable term for sex?
Nearly one hundred
Coffee
12-08-2006, 02:06 PM
Honestly please (we know you tend to exagerate) how old do you think you will be when you will need to begin using Viagra?
Take em both!
daverbee
12-08-2006, 02:45 PM
Now that you have the Viagra, what are you gonna do about the ground up rhinocerous horn?
Maybe later.
Gatsby
12-08-2006, 03:37 PM
You want to take some Viagra and ground up rhinoceros horn with me?
Black, Comic Sans, size 14.
craig johnston
12-08-2006, 04:03 PM
can you describe topcat?
don't get yer knickers in a twist!
Brynn
12-09-2006, 05:58 AM
Now that you've stolen my identity, broken up my marriage, got me fired, turned my kids into heroin addicts, killed my dog, emptied out my bank account, set my house on fire, alienated all my friends, and framed me for aggravated murder, is there anything you'd like to say to me?
It was only the teensiest littlest tiniest bit.
Hyakujo's Fox
12-09-2006, 11:09 AM
Did you peek during Sunday prayers?
I never said it was going to last.
skip intro
12-10-2006, 08:50 PM
do you realise you've broken britney's heart?
the neverending story
funkytuba
12-11-2006, 03:26 AM
I'm writing a screenplay about trying to get Earthlink to fix my DSL. Any ideas on a working title?
Bust a move, and then bust your ass.
craig johnston
12-11-2006, 08:19 AM
what will you do if i lend you my donkey?
he bowled a maiden over
funkytuba
12-12-2006, 08:23 PM
Just what exactly happened when Hyakujo's Fox tried his googly on Madasacutsnake?
some faint dizziness and a lack of motivation
craig johnston
12-13-2006, 04:04 PM
how do you feel in your cube, tubes?
he could crack a lock from any position
funkytuba
12-14-2006, 02:38 PM
Did you not like my previous question to your answer, "he could crack a lock from any position"?
recursively repeating the same thing over and over and over and over again repeatedly
craig johnston
12-14-2006, 10:04 PM
what is it that cj does that gives you those warm and fuzzy feelings?
it's the wrong trousers gromit, and they've gone wrong!
Hyakujo's Fox
12-15-2006, 12:19 PM
what was your excuse for your 'wardrobe malfunction' in the park last week?
Translated from the Swahili it means "get lost"
craig johnston
12-15-2006, 08:04 PM
why does tubes get his knickers in a twist when i say "he could crack a lock from any position"?
in h.fox's swimming trunks
FJeff
12-17-2006, 09:41 PM
If you didn't eat my sandwich, then where is it?!
Something between strawberry shortcake, and hexane.
craig johnston
12-19-2006, 07:21 PM
what's for christmas dinner this year?
it's all in the wrist action
Hyakujo's Fox
12-28-2006, 11:05 AM
What's the secret to effective door knocking?
It took me three hours to get the spoon back.
funkytuba
12-28-2006, 01:12 PM
Were you inconvenienced that time you let Big Bird try your cocaine?
The snowmen polish at night in St. Petersburg.
Coffee
12-28-2006, 02:09 PM
What was the Allied secret recognition code on the Volkhov Front on 12/25/1941?
I wouldn't believe it.
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