comunal haikus

[Spicy Jack]

why are we hiding?

Shush!!! he'll hear you whispering

But won't he smell you?

[dinzdale]

I dont reek of cheese

[Spicy Jack]

I dont reek of cheese
I reek of soiled manties

[dinzdale]

I dont reek of cheese
I reek of soiled manties
Quite an admission

[Spicy Jack]

Oops. Did I do that?

[dinzdale]

Oops. Did I do that?
Yeah, you probably blurted

[Spicy Jack]

Oops. Did I do that?
Yeah, you probably blurted
The truth hurts sometimes.

[dinzdale]

You know what we need...

[Spicy Jack]

You know what we need...
Beer, nachos, crack, and hookers?

[dinzdale]

You know what we need...
Beer, nachos, crack, and hookers?
Monkeys in a pod :)

[lapietra]

oh so distracted

[Spicy Jack]

oh so distracted
by the dancing sock monkey

[lapietra]

oh so distracted
by the dancing sock monkey
he's so awf'lly cute

[Spicy Jack]

dirty sock monkey

[lapietra]

dirty sock monkey
wash him in your bubble bath

[Spicy Jack]

dirty sock monkey
wash him in your bubble bath
stroke him squeaky clean

[lapietra]

happy sock monkey

[Mocha]

happy sock monkey
all clean and fresh for feetsies

[lapietra]

happy sock monkey
all clean and fresh for feetsies
ohh he won't like that.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

uncomfy monkey

[lapietra]

uncomfy monkey
trying to avoid all feet

[weissenflatz]

uncomfy monkey
trying to avoid all feet
but they're all around

[chuckie egg]

Monkeys have cute toes

[Fulgurite]

Monkeys have cute toes
But I won't lick between them

[weissenflatz]

Monkeys have cute toes
But I won't lick between them
my cheese comes from shops

[lapietra]

hairy monkey toes

[Spicy Jack]

hairy monkey toes
slowly inching up closer

[lapietra]

hairy monkey toes
slowly inching up closer
are they ticklish?

[dinzdale]

Put those things away!

[Spicy Jack]

Put those things away!
I will show you ticklish!

[dinzdale]

Put those things away!
I will show you ticklish!
Dont make me slap you!

[sockmonkeylove]

but I might like that

[dinzdale]

but I might like that
and other peccadillos

[Spicy Jack]

but I might like that
and other peccadillos
so do it again



side note: are you playing with yourself again dinz?

[sockmonkeylove]

a peccadillo

[Mocha]

a peccadillo
is really not all that bad

[sockmonkeylove]

a peccadillo
is really not all that bad
just variety

[Mocha]

it’s the spice of life

[lapietra]

it’s the spice of life
and you know how we love Spice ;)

[dinzdale]

it’s the spice of life
and you know how we love Spice
aromaticly

[straymonk]

My nodze id thtuffed ub

[lapietra]

My nodze id thtuffed ub
please gib me sub chicked soup

[Fulgurite]

My nodze id thtuffed ub
please gib me sub chicked soup
avter I sdeeze doh

[lapietra]

two margaritas

[Spicy Jack]

two margaritas
no, let's make that at least three

[lapietra]

two margaritas
no, let's make that at least three
on second thought, four

[lapietra]

we love weissenflatz

[Hyakujo's Fox]

we love weissenflatz
that crazy son of a gun

[Smartypants]

we love weissenflatz
that crazy son of a gun
what a silly boy

[straymonk]

Polish-Danes can write

[Audreyvgs]

Polish-Danes can write
with both hands tied behind his tongue

[funkytuba]

Polish-Danes can write
with both hands tied behind his tongue
Glllllua mllllua mlllllua-Sen-Ski

[Willow Sylph]

Milk and gin don't mix

[lapietra]

Milk and gin don't mix
pretty darn disgusting stuff

[Willow Sylph]

Milk and gin don't mix
pretty darn disgusting stuff
I barf at the thought

[lapietra]

good friends are precious

[weissenflatz]

good friends are precious
the biggest gems don't come close

[Willow Sylph]

good friends are precious
the biggest gems don't come close
so don't let them go

[Hyakujo's Fox]

inseparable

[madasacutsnake]

inseparable
I should go to hospital

[Hyakujo's Fox]

inseparable
I should go to hospital
and have you removed

[funkytuba]

inseparable
I should go to hospital
get this pug removed

[weissenflatz]

oh fark, bad hair day

[Gatsby]

oh fark, bad hair day
frizzy uncontrollable

[Spicy Jack]

oh fark, bad hair day
frizzy uncontrollable
all thirteen of them

[weissenflatz]

my hairdo is great

[chuckie egg]

my hairdo is great
no need for a cap today

[masterofNone]

my hairdo is great
no need for a cap today
hair spray hard as steel

[weissenflatz]

no more excuses

[Spicy Jack]

no more excuses
i will get it right this time

[dinzdale]

no more excuses
i will get it right this time
Well nearly....almost.

[Willow Sylph]

I should be working

[Spicy Jack]

I should be working
but instead I am dreaming

[Willow Sylph]

I should be working
but instead I am dreaming
of nachos and beer

[Gatsby]

bar food is blissful

[Willow Sylph]

bar food is blissful
Who cares if it's bad for you?

[Coffee]

bar food is blissful
Who cares if it's bad for you?
Heart burn from soul food.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

salted nuts and beer

[Klynne]

salted nuts and beer
what in life could be more dear?

[masterofNone]

salted nuts and beer
what in life could be more dear?
a bar in maui

[lapietra]

crisp, hot fish and chips

[chuckie egg]

crisp, hot fish and chips
from the north of the UK

[dinzdale]

crisp, hot fish and chips
from the north of the UK
cloth caps and whippets


Sorry Chuckie

[weissenflatz]

rooftops in the sun

[Spicy Jack]

rooftops in the sun
soaking up red-orange rays

[dinzdale]

rooftops in the sun
soaking up red-orange rays
or similar fish

[Klynne]

Riders on the storm

[Coffee]

Riders on the storm
Poncho reflects the fury

[lapietra]

Riders on the storm
Poncho reflects the fury
of pigeon droppings

[straymonk]

Don't wear a helmet

[funkytuba]

Don't wear a helmet
your partner might take offense

[dinzdale]

Don't wear a helmet
your partner might take offense
if it turns you on

[lapietra]

lost in translation

[dinzdale]

lost in translation
Dites moi encore en Francais

[funkytuba]

lost in translation
Dites moi encore en Francais
"Moi" "Moi" Ca suffit?

[straymonk]

je vais a la plage

[Aphrodite]

je vais a la plage
faire bronzage de mon corps

[funkytuba]

je vais a la plage
faire bronzage de mon corps
french 101 sucks

[Aphrodite]

We had to take french

[Hyakujo's Fox]

We had to take french
We took it very badly

[funkytuba]

We had to take french
We took it very badly
dressing, fries, toast, kiss

[weissenflatz]

who wants some life juice?

[Spicy Jack]

who wants some life juice?
darling, please put that away

[Gatsby]

who wants some life juice?
darling, please put that away
inappropriate!

[dinzdale]

Watch the clock 'til 5

[lapietra]

Watch the clock 'til 5
maybe do a little work

[Spicy Jack]

Watch the clock 'til 5
maybe do a little work
but probably not

[dinzdale]

Watch the clock 'til 5
maybe do a little work
not fvcking likely


sorry!

[lapietra]

playing with my hair

[dinzdale]

playing with my hair
I'll make a centre parting

[lapietra]

playing with my hair
I'll make a centre parting
and some little braids

[Klynne]

Is it hot in here?

[funkytuba]

Is it hot in here?
Wearing this parka seems dumb

[straymonk]

Is it hot in here?
Wearing this parka seems dumb
in my gym's steam room.

[funkytuba]

unremembered lunch

[chuckie egg]

unremembered lunch
not much chance of that matey!

[weissenflatz]

unremembered lunch
not much chance of that matey!
too much belly now

[Klynne]

must do some situps

[AllegroNg]

must do some situps
this jelly will be no more

[Hyakujo's Fox]

must do some situps
this jelly will be no more
but first, chocolate!

[Klynne]

must do some situps
this jelly will be no more
be gone fat, be gone

[straymonk]

black leather jacket

[nycwriters]

black leather jacket
worn by memories of you

[weissenflatz]

black leather jacket
worn by memories of you
still quite smelly though

[chuckie egg]

my mind on one thing

[Hyakujo's Fox]

my mind on one thing
with my hands on another

[ambo]

my mind on one thing
with my hands on another
sure does feel good though

[straymonk]

feelings, nothing more

[chuckie egg]

feelings, nothing more
and nothing less, the worst kind

[daverbee]

feelings, nothing more
and nothing less, the worst kind
boredom, depression...

[chuckie egg]

wonders what to do

[ambo]

wonders what to do
but settles for some ice cream

[dinzdale]

wonders what to do
but settles for some ice cream
naked with a spoon

[ambo]

come get your pickles

[dinzdale]

come get your pickles
from out of my car's glove box

[ambo]

come get your pickles
from out of my car's glove box
they're all hairy now

[dinzdale]

Half-price lingerie

[Spicy Jack]

Half-price lingerie
this one is missing the crotch

[dinzdale]

Half-price lingerie
this one is missing the crotch
and one of the sides

[Klynne]

Nothing is for free

[nycwriters]

Nothing is for free
street bum begs for change, I stop

[Coffee]

Nothing is for free
street bum begs for change, I stop
"play a damn guitar!"

[straymonk]

Songs stuck in my head

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Songs stuck in my head
Call out like trapped animals

[weissenflatz]

Songs stuck in my head
Call out like trapped animals
come away with me!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Crime and Punishment

[weissenflatz]

Crime and Punishment
find a reason for spanking

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Crime and Punishment
find a reason for spanking
and turn yourself in

[weissenflatz]

Lawless crooks, no fear

[Klynne]

Lawless crooks, no fear
I swear we didn't do it

[Blue]

we were taking drugs

[Hyakujo's Fox]

boring as batshit

[straymonk]

we were taking drugs
X, weed, acid, coke, Prozac




boring as batshit
this summer movie season

[weissenflatz]

we were taking drugs
X, weed, acid, coke, Prozac
who is in my bed?




boring as batshit
this summer movie season
better go swimming

[chuckie egg]

screwed up once again

[daverbee]

screwed up once again
feel like a broken light bulb

[chuckie egg]

screwed up once again
feel like a broken light bulb
hopeless and useless

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Somewhere in the world

[weissenflatz]

Somewhere in the world
where logic wins from reason

[lapietra]

Somewhere in the world
where logic wins from reason
I will meet my love.

[Klynne]

White orleander

[lapietra]

White orleander
Fleur doux, Louisiana

[Klynne]

White orleander
Fleur doux, Louisiana
Don't ever eat them

[Hyakujo's Fox]

When the rooster crows

[Klynne]

When the rooster crows
The sun will yet rise again

[straymonk]

When the rooster crows
The sun will yet rise again
Where's my aspirin?

[weissenflatz]

Hurrah it's friday

[chuckie egg]

Hurrah it's friday
Chili Peppers tonight kids

[weissenflatz]

Hurrah it's friday
Chili Peppers tonight kids
be back on sunday..

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Do it only once

[weissenflatz]

Do it only once
I told my girl more than twice

[funkytuba]

Do it only once
I told my girl more than twice
hypocrisy's fun

[lapietra]

Glad we're friends again

[Klynne]

Glad we're friends again
So sorry I wrecked your car

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Glad we're friends again
So sorry I wrecked your car
And screwed your boyfriend

[funkytuba]

What?!??! Screwed my boyfriend?

[Smartypants]

What?!??! Screwed my boyfriend?
Why, you brazen little shit!

[Aphrodite]

What?!??! Screwed my boyfriend?
Why, you brazen little shit!
Now go screw yourselves

[ambo]

diamond tiara

[lapietra]

diamond tiara
and a lovely satin gown

[Hyakujo's Fox]

diamond tiara
and a lovely satin gown
am I overdressed?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's no-one like you

[ambo]

There's no-one like you
Except that guy over there

[chuckie egg]

There's no-one like you
Except that guy over there
who's your twin brother

[lapietra]

wish i could meet you

[Hyakujo's Fox]

wish i could meet you
I would look you in the eye

[straymonk]

wish i could meet you
I would look you in the eye
and try not to spit

[chuckie egg]

my neck is peeling

[lapietra]

my neck is peeling
revealing some silver scales

[Spicy Jack]

my neck is peeling
revealing some silver scales
i'm really a fish

[lapietra]

fishy fishy fish!

[Klynne]

fishy fishy fish!
Is that why cats follow me?

[funkytuba]

fishy fishy fish!
Is that why cats follow me?
ang'ling for handout

[lapietra]

good lord, you're clever

[funkytuba]

good lord, you're clever
what do you mean? Oh! Wow. cool!
Not intentional

[Klynne]

I was born with it

[Spicy Jack]

I was born with it
don't be jealous, i will share

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I was born with it
don't be jealous, i will share
but first show me yours

[Klynne]

I will show you mine

[straymonk]

I will show you mine
if you promise not to laugh

[Klynne]

I will show you mine
if you promise not to laugh
Ha, ha, ha, sorry

[weissenflatz]

you said you won't laugh

[Klynne]

you said you won't laugh
I'm sorry, I tend to lie

[Aphrodite]

you said you won't laugh
I'm sorry, I tend to lie
I won't laugh this time

[Klynne]

Please let me see it

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Please let me see it
I've seen all the other ones

[weissenflatz]

Please let me see it
I've seen all the other ones
Mine's bigger than yours

[Klynne]

Sorry, don't have one

[straymonk]

Sorry, don't have one
Penis Envy ain't all that

[weissenflatz]

Sorry, don't have one
Penis Envy ain't all that
settle for bratwurst

[funkytuba]

screen glows, penetrates

[lapietra]

screen glows, penetrates
flickers past the white curtains

[Hyakujo's Fox]

screen glows, penetrates
flickers past the white curtains
and into the night

[funkytuba]

Walking by the beach
my foot lands in a dog turd
worlds largest bathtub

[weissenflatz]

No, it will not hurt

[Hyakujo's Fox]

No, it will not hurt
It's like drifting off to sleep

[Klynne]

No, it will not hurt
It's like drifting off to sleep
That DID hurt, liar

[Coffee]

work out eat right die.

[Klynne]

work out eat right die.
fertilizer for the earth

[Coffee]

work out eat right die
fertilizer for the earth
worms have the last laugh

[Klynne]

The worms are laughing

[straymonk]

The worms are laughing
surprisingly high pitched laughs

[owlcage]

The worms are laughing
surprisingly high pitched laughs
but they too shall die

[lapietra]

all will indeed pass

[owlcage]

all will indeed pass
everybody's grades were good

[lapietra]

all will indeed pass
everybody's grades were good
they will all die too

[cutie]

yummy crunchy seeds

[Aphrodite]

yummy crunchy seeds
the occasional raisin

[madasacutsnake]

yummy crunchy seeds
the occasional raisin
damn I need bacon

[cutie]

cutie don't eat pig

[ally]

cutie don't eat pig
or sheep or cow or horses

[Aphrodite]

cutie don't eat pig
or sheep or cow or horses
cutie's a vegan

[Klynne]

Dangerous thinking

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Dangerous thinking
About you and me, baby

[lapietra]

Dangerous thinking
About you and me, baby
and a bowl of schlag

[weissenflatz]

whipped cream on my chest

[Klynne]

whipped cream on my chest
your head pressed between my breasts
(went porno here, sorry):)

[weissenflatz]

whipped cream on my chest
your head pressed between my breasts
sweet mountains of love

[ally]

what were you thinking

[chuckie egg]

what were you thinking
innocent mind once so pure

[lapietra]

what were you thinking
innocent mind once so pure
now ready for play

[lapietra]

won't you play with me?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

won't you play with me?
I know a game we can play

[Klynne]

[
won't you play with me?
I know a game we can play
hide the salami

[Hyakujo's Fox]

delicatessen

[Klynne]

delicatessen
where good salami is found

[Smartypants]

delicatessen
where good salami is found
but, oy! the heartburn

[straymonk]

Ringing in my ears

[weissenflatz]

Ringing in my ears
light sounds like laughing children

[Klynne]

Ringing in my ears
light sounds like laughing children
Damn blotter acid