communal limericks

[Klynne]

I've run out of orange juice
i'm thinkin of milking my moose.
Holy shVt what am I thinking?
I think I will start drinking!
And about being very loose

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've searched all over the planet

[zenbabe]

I've searched all over the planet
For this hottie I used to call Janet

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've searched all over the planet
For this hottie I used to call Janet
that wasn't her name

[Coffee]

I've searched all over the planet
For this hottie I used to call Janet
that wasn't her name
she tried to hide her fame

[Klynne]

I've searched all over the planet
For this hottie I used to call Janet
that wasn't her name
she tried to hide her fame
til she ran off with another man damn it

(sorry, weak hard to think of words that rhyme with planet, janet)

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Underneath your Christmas tree

[ambo]

Underneath your Christmas tree
Is a spot my cat would love to pee

[Klynne]

Underneath your Christmas tree
Is a spot my cat would love to pee
He sits and he squats

[zenbabe]

Underneath your Christmas tree
Is a spot my cat would love to pee
He sits and he squats
And he quietly plots

[Coffee]

Underneath your Christmas tree
Is a spot my cat would love to pee
He sits and he squats
And he quietly plots
Then does the deed and flees.

[ambo]

seven men in a leaky little boat

[Hyakujo's Fox]

seven men in a leaky little boat
and each one must now cast his vote

[Coffee]

seven men in a leaky little boat
and each one must now cast his vote
since there's no land in sight

[Klynne]

seven men in a leaky little boat
and each one must now cast his vote
since there's no land in sight
everyone is a little uptight

[Coffee]

seven men in a leaky little boat
and each one must now cast his vote
since there's no land in sight
everyone is a little uptight
and the cook looks delicious in that coat.

[Klynne]

There once was a large green zuchini

[zenbabe]

There once was a large green zuchini
That I use cause I have a small weenie

[Klynne]

There once was a large green zuchini
That I use cause I have a small weenie
But she was not fooled

[zenbabe]

There once was a large green zuchini
That I use cause I have a small weenie
But she was not fooled
And I ended up tooled

[Klynne]

There once was a large green zuchini
That I use cause I have a small weenie
But she was not fooled
And I ended up tooled
Why did I wear this micro bikini?

[Coffee]

She was a really good flirt.

[zenbabe]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt

[Klynne]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way

[zenbabe]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

[funkytuba]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!

[funkytuba]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila

[jaymirror]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila

[Klynne]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

[lapietra]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said.

[funkytuba]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head

[RevEf]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face

[RevEf]

and other parts best left unsaid.

[RevEf]

Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!

[funkytuba]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.

[lapietra]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel

[Coffee]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"

[lapietra]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat.

[Klynne]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,

[lapietra]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,
she pulled out a paint gun

[Klynne]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,
she pulled out a paint gun
Oh no, What have I done?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,
she pulled out a paint gun
Oh no, What have I done?
Just wait! Too late! KER-SPLAT!

[lapietra]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,
she pulled out a paint gun
Oh no, What have I done?
Just wait! Too late! KER-SPLAT!

Then she turned and, laughing, walked away

[Klynne]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,
she pulled out a paint gun
Oh no, What have I done?
Just wait! Too late! KER-SPLAT!

Then she turned and, laughing, walked away
This has been a very unlucky day

[funkytuba]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,
she pulled out a paint gun
Oh no, What have I done?
Just wait! Too late! KER-SPLAT!

Then she turned and, laughing, walked away
This has been a very unlucky day
next time i'll think twice

[lapietra]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,
she pulled out a paint gun
Oh no, What have I done?
Just wait! Too late! KER-SPLAT!

Then she turned and, laughing, walked away
This has been a very unlucky day
next time i'll think twice
'fore I say something nice

[zenbabe]

She was a really good flirt.
And she looked really good in a skirt
In a slinky sort of way
And a roll in the hay
Was preferable to one in the dirt

So I went up to her and said "Hey,
Baby, this is your lucky day!
I've got some tequila
Let's fly to Manila
She is good in the sack some say

"What was that last part?" she said,
a look of surprise on her head.
She applied her Mace
to parts of my face
and other parts best left unsaid.

"Gosh I'm so sorry 'bout that!"
She said as I lay on the mat.
Then she sunk her spiked heel
saying "See! How's it feel?"
then hefted a rather large bat,

And she beat me down like a gnat
and before I'd recovered from that,
she pulled out a paint gun
Oh no, What have I done?
Just wait! Too late! KER-SPLAT!

Then she turned and, laughing, walked away
This has been a very unlucky day
next time i'll think twice
'fore I say something nice
And all of that for some play!

[funkytuba]

It rains in the mid of the night

[Klynne]

It rains in the mid of the night
when it storms with all its might

[ambo]

It rains in the mid of the night
when it storms with all its might
The wind rips and tears

[Klynne]

It rains in the mid of the night
when it storms with all its might
The wind rips and tears
As I creep down the stairs

[funkytuba]

It rains in the mid of the night
when it storms with all its might
The wind rips and tears
As I creep down the stairs
to give my poor auntie a fright

[Hyakujo's Fox]

It shines in the mid of the day

[malina]

It shines in the mid of the day
the sun it just won't go away

[RevEf]

It shines in the mid of the day
the sun it just won't go away
I seek to be wise

[Klynne]

It shines in the mid of the day
the sun it just won't go away
I seek to be wise
As I shoo the flies

[RevEf]

It shines in the mid of the day
the sun it just won't go away
I seek to be wise
As I shoo the flies
Off of my stylish beret

[funkytuba]

It's cold out but toasty inside

[RevEf]

It's cold out but toasty inside
Asmy toes have been deep-fried

[Hyakujo's Fox]

It's cold out but toasty inside
As my toes have been deep-fried
I'm living tempura

[RevEf]

It's cold out but toasty inside
As my toes have been deep-fried
I'm living tempura
and I am sure a

[funkytuba]

It's cold out but toasty inside
As my toes have been deep-fried
I'm living tempura
and I am sure a-
bout to be eaten. I'll go hide.

[Coffee]

Its raining real hard on my boat

[funkytuba]

Its raining real hard on my boat
I'm glad that I got it to float

[Coffee]

Its raining real hard on my boat
I'm glad that I got it to float
the house washed away

[funkytuba]

Its raining real hard on my boat
I'm glad that I got it to float
the house washed away
insurance won't pay

[Coffee]

Its raining real hard on my boat
I'm glad that I got it to float
the house washed away
insurance won't pay
The folks on the hill sit and gloat

[lapietra]

I guess I should go make my lunch

[zenbabe]

I guess I should go make my lunch
I'm guessing but its more like a hunch

[lapietra]

I guess I should go make my lunch
I'm guessing but its more like a hunch
or perhaps an intuit

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I guess I should go make my lunch
I'm guessing but its more like a hunch
or perhaps an intuit
it's the right time to chew it

[masterofNone]

I guess I should go make my lunch
I'm guessing but its more like a hunch
or perhaps an intuit
it's the right time to chew it
I'll know by the taste and the crunch

[funkytuba]

'03 quickly comes to an end

[dalang]

'03 quickly comes to an end
so little time left to defend

[funkytuba]

'03 quickly comes to an end
so little time left to defend
now out with a bang

[masterofNone]

'03 quickly comes to an end
so little time left to defend
now out with a bang,
some punch laced with wang

[funkytuba]

'03 quickly comes to an end
so little time left to defend
now out with a bang,
some punch laced with wang
then on to '04 where I'll mend.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet

[lapietra]

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
and den we'll tak anoother

[lapietra]

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
and den we'll tak anoother
We'll drink to our mothers
And cousins and brothers
And den we'll drink to each other.

There. Moving right along...

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've finally cut off my dreadlocks

[zenbabe]

I've finally cut off my dreadlocks
And programmed alarms into my clocks

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've finally cut off my dreadlocks
And programmed alarms into my clocks
I'm sworn off my drinking

[funkytuba]

I've finally cut off my dreadlocks
And programmed alarms into my clocks
I'm sworn off my drinking
and washed: no more stinking

[lapietra]

I've finally cut off my dreadlocks
And programmed alarms into my clocks
I'm sworn off my drinking
and washed: no more stinking
but I'll never give up my toe socks

[lapietra]

It's time to take down my tree

[dinzdale]

It's time to take down my tree
Lazy bitch - you're telling me!

[Frieda]

It's time to take down my tree
Lazy bitch - you're telling me!
I'll set it on fire

[RevEf]

It's time to take down my tree
Lazy bitch - you're telling me!
I'll set it on fire
As your funer'l pyre

[Coffee]

It's time to take down my tree
Lazy bitch - you're telling me!
I'll set it on fire
As your funer'l pyre
Next Xmas a wreath you'll see

[funkytuba]

My poor aching stomach is rumbling

[chuckie egg]

My poor aching stomach is rumbling
My cupboards are bear and I'm fumbling

[dinzdale]

My poor aching stomach is rumbling
My cupboards are bear and I'm fumbling
No bone for poor Rover

[Tall Thin Duke]

My poor aching stomach is rumbling
My cupboards are bear and I'm fumbling
No bone for poor Rover
Lets drive him to Dover

[RevEf]

My poor aching stomach is rumbling
My cupboards are bear and I'm fumbling
No bone for poor Rover
Lets drive him to Dover
Into a stew pot he'll be tumbling.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Hiding behind my sunglasses

[Tall Thin Duke]

Hiding behind my sunglasses
I take a sneaky peek at the ass's

[AllegroNg]

Hiding behind my sunglasses
I take a sneaky peek at the ass's
I stare down their shirts

[zenbabe]

Hiding behind my sunglasses
I take a sneaky peek at the ass's
I stare down their shirts
Oh those cute little flirts

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Hiding behind my sunglasses
I take a sneaky peek at the ass's
I stare down their shirts
Oh those cute little flirts
Why do they reject my passes?

[ambo]

pass the cheese, the mustard, and pickles

[Magpie]

pass the cheese, the mustard, and pickles
oh how my throat does tickle

[Tall Thin Duke]

pass the cheese, the mustard, and pickles
oh how my throat does tickle
Edam or Gouda or maybe Clam Chouda?

[Tall Thin Duke]

pass the cheese, the mustard, and pickles
oh how my throat does tickle
Edam or Gouda or maybe Clam Chouda?
Oh shite i'm so terribly fickle

[Coffee]

Sky scraper sandwich by Bumstead

[rapscalious rob]

Sky scraper sandwich by Bumstead
Ensures me that I will be well-fed

[ambo]

Sky scraper sandwich by Bumstead
Ensures me that I will be well-fed
There'll be miles of bologna

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Sky scraper sandwich by Bumstead
Ensures me that I will be well-fed
There'll be miles of bologna
'scuse me if I spill some on ya

[funkytuba]

Sky scraper sandwich by Bumstead
Ensures me that I will be well-fed
There'll be miles of bologna
'scuse me if I spill some on ya
here's my excuse: I'm inbred.

[lapietra]

If I only had one day to live

[RevEf]

If I only had one day to live
It's possible that I might give

[lapietra]

If I only had one day to live
It's possible that I might give
a big party, and dance

[RevEf]

If I only had one day to live
It's possible that I might give
a big party, and dance
without shirt or pants

[lapietra]

If I only had one day to live
It's possible that I might give
a big party, and dance
without shirt or pants
but I'd still probably have to get good and drunk first.

[chuckie egg]

This yoghurt is huge but its yummy

[Magpie]

This yoghurt is huge but its yummy
It's good to rub on your bummy

[RevEf]

This yoghurt is huge but its yummy
It's good to rub on your bummy
Is this euphemism?

[funkytuba]

This yoghurt is huge but its yummy
It's good to rub on your bummy
Is this euphemism?
or pure hedonism?

[zenbabe]

This yoghurt is huge but its yummy
It's good to rub on your bummy
Is this euphemism?
or pure hedonism?
just wash before it gets gummy

[Tall Thin Duke]

I once put my finger in a dyke!

[RevEf]

I once put my finger in a dyke!
But not the type that you might like.

[chuckie egg]

I once put my finger in a dyke!
But not the type that you might like.
I'm not being rude

[RevEf]

I once put my finger in a dyke!
But not the type that you might like.
I'm not being rude
This act was not lewd!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I once put my finger in a dyke!
But not the type that you might like.
I'm not being rude
This act was not lewd!
Just natural, to finger and dyke alike.

[ambo]

My socks are all tangled and holey

[zenbabe]

My socks are all tangled and holey
My figure at best, rolley polley

[ambo]

My socks are all tangled and holey
My figure at best, rolley polley
But I've got my pride

[AllegroNg]

My socks are all tangled and holey
My figure at best, rolley polley
But I've got my pride
And an aged TV Guide

[funkytuba]

My socks are all tangled and holey
My figure at best, rolley polley
But I've got my pride
And an aged TV Guide
Now, where's that damn remote controlley?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

This year I've taken up knitting

[rapscalious rob]

This year I've taken up knitting
it’s tricky and takes lots of sitting

[chuckie egg]

This year I've taken up knitting
it’s tricky and takes lots of sitting
its hard on the rump

[RevEf]

This year I've taken up knitting
it’s tricky and takes lots of sitting
its hard on the rump
I've gotten a lump

[Coffee]

This year I've taken up knitting
it’s tricky and takes lots of sitting
its hard on the rump
I've gotten a lump
and nothing seems to be fitting.

[Tall Thin Duke]

"Get out " said a lady named Vera

[Hyakujo's Fox]

"Get out " said a lady named Vera
So quietly that I did not hear her

[RevEf]

"Get out " said a lady named Vera
So quietly that I did not hear her
She sputtered and fumed

[Klynne]

"Get out " said a lady named Vera
So quietly that I did not hear her
She sputtered and fumed
While I felt certainly doomed

[Tall Thin Duke]

"Get out " said a lady named Vera
So quietly that I did not hear her
She sputtered and fumed
While I felt certainly doomed
Then asked me to poke her caldera.

[Tall Thin Duke]

"The knob seems salty" said the butler,

[Klynne]

"The knob seems salty" said the butler,
The detective said, "Surely you've cut her."

[Tall Thin Duke]

"The knob seems salty" said the butler,
The detective said, "Surely you've cut her."
"I'm sure its just a bruise"

[Coffee]

"The knob seems salty" said the butler,
The detective said, "Surely you've cut her."
"I'm sure its just a bruise"
aquired on her last cruise.

[Tall Thin Duke]

The knob seems salty" said the butler,
The detective said, "Surely you've cut her."
"I'm sure its just a bruise"
aquired on her last cruise.
After kissing a German named Rutger!

[Tall Thin Duke]

"I'm certain she's orally fixated"

[Coffee]

"I'm certain she's orally fixated"
Her lips are surgically inflated.

[Klynne]

"I'm certain she's orally fixated"
Her lips are surgically inflated.
Mayhaps its just botox

[AllegroNg]

"I'm certain she's orally fixated"
Her lips are surgically inflated.
Mayhaps its just botox
Or she was bitten by Xerox

[MaMiQtee5584]

"I'm certain she's orally fixated"
Her lips are surgically inflated.
Mayhaps its just botox
Or she was bitten by Xerox
Jealous ladies at lunch all debated.

[MaMiQtee5584]

1. Do you have any gooseberry jelly?

[ambo]

1. Do you have any gooseberry jelly?
2. I need to smear some on my belly

[Hyakujo's Fox]

1. Do you have any gooseberry jelly?
2. I need to smear some on my belly
3. To cut down on the friction

[AllegroNg]

1. Do you have any gooseberry jelly?
2. I need to smear some on my belly
3. To cut down on the friction
4. Of my butt grape addiction

[Klynne]

1. Do you have any gooseberry jelly?
2. I need to smear some on my belly
3. To cut down on the friction
4. Of my butt grape addiction
5. With hopes it makes me less smelly

[zenbabe]

So what's it about Britney Spears

[MaMiQtee5584]

So what's it about Britney Spears
Taking marriage by minutes, not years

[zenbabe]

So what's it about Britney Spears
Taking marriage by minutes, not years
Hailing from the land of Beale

[Klynne]

So what's it about Britney Spears
Taking marriage by minutes, not years
Hailing from the land of Beale
It all seems so sureal

[funkytuba]

So what's it about Britney Spears
Taking marriage by minutes, not years
Hailing from the land of Beale
It all seems so sureal
Why, the next thing you know she'll mate queers

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I dreamt I was sent back to school

[MaMiQtee5584]

I dreamt I was sent back to school
Full of elementary ABC rules

[AllegroNg]

I dreamt I was sent back to school
Full of elementary ABC rules
Running down the hall, naked

[masterofNone]

I dreamt I was sent back to school
Full of elementary ABC rules
Running down the hall, naked
my gym teacher yelled "hey kid!"

[Tall Thin Duke]

I dreamt I was sent back to school
Full of elementary ABC rules
Running down the hall, naked
my gym teacher yelled "hey kid!"
"In school you hold pencils not tools!"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Ducks! I can't stand their quacking

[Klynne]

Ducks! I can't stand their quacking
Makes me want to give someone a whacking

[MaMiQtee5584]

Ducks! I can't stand their quacking
Makes me want to give someone a whacking
From Daffy Duck's spittle,

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Ducks! I can't stand their quacking
Makes me want to give someone a whacking
From Daffy Duck's spittle,
To Daisy's duckbutt swivel

[funkytuba]

Ducks! I can't stand their quacking
Makes me want to give someone a whacking
From Daffy Duck's spittle,
To Daisy's duckbutt swivel
and don't get me started on Darkwing!

[ambo]

So silly to wish for the moon

[MaMiQtee5584]

So silly to wish for the moon
When at dawn, it leaves us too soon

[Klynne]

So silly to wish for the moon
When at dawn, it leaves us too soon
Call me a romantic

[Aphrodite]

So silly to wish for the moon
When at dawn, it leaves us too soon
Call me a romantic
I'm gentle, I'm frantic

[Hyakujo's Fox]

So silly to wish for the moon
When at dawn, it leaves us too soon
Call me a romantic
I'm gentle, I'm frantic
Let's stay here in bed until noon

[ambo]

And here I was thinking of cheese

[funkytuba]

And here I was thinking of cheese
but not of the kind that you squeeze

[chuckie egg]

And here I was thinking of cheese
but not of the kind that you squeeze
the real stuff with blue bits

[Hyakujo's Fox]

And here I was thinking of cheese
but not of the kind that you squeeze
the real stuff with blue bits
and a stink that just never quits

[Klynne]

And here I was thinking of cheese
but not of the kind that you squeeze
the real stuff with blue bits
Not the kind that gives you the shvts

[zenbabe]

And here I was thinking of cheese
but not of the kind that you squeeze
the real stuff with blue bits
Not the kind that gives you the shvts
And you can eat as much as you please!


:D

[rapscalious rob]

How nice it is to meet zefrank

[Haute]

How nice it is to meet zefrank
without all those silly school pranks

[Hyakujo's Fox]

How nice it is to meet zefrank
without all those silly school pranks
that he once liked to play

[Coffee]

How nice it is to meet zefrank
without all those silly school pranks
that he once liked to play
back in his younger days

[rapscalious rob]

How nice it is to meet zefrank
without all those silly school pranks
that he once liked to play
back in his younger days
for the wedgie, I owe him no thanks

[rapscalious rob]

Slurpeedemon is Lala

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Slurpeedemon is Lala
rapscalious rob has gone ga-ga

[rapscalious rob]

Slurpeedemon is Lala
rapscalious rob has gone ga-ga
Hyakujo’s a fox

[Frieda]

Slurpeedemon is Lala
rapscalious rob has gone ga-ga
Hyakujo’s a fox
ol' Coffee just rocks

[rapscalious rob]

Slurpeedemon is Lala
rapscalious rob has gone ga-ga
Hyakujo’s a fox
ol' Coffee just rocks
that’s not even part one of the saga

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's one thing I find quite enticing

[MaMiQtee5584]

There's one thing I find quite enticing
...Salad shooters - the slicing and dicing!

[dalang]

There's one thing I find quite enticing
...Salad shooters - the slicing and dicing!
The carrot chips are for real

[straymonk]

There's one thing I find quite enticing
...Salad shooters - the slicing and dicing!
The carrot chips are for real
onions are too hard to peal

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's one thing I find quite enticing
...Salad shooters - the slicing and dicing!
The carrot chips are for real
onions are too hard to peal
So I top it off with a layer of icing

[ambo]

Fished around in my purse for a dollar

[zenbabe]

Fished around in my purse for a dollar
But all I found was a studded collar

[chuckie egg]

Fished around in my purse for a dollar
But all I found was a studded collar
"This isn't mine!"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Fished around in my purse for a dollar
But all I found was a studded collar
"This isn't mine!"
It's for my pet swine

[straymonk]

Fished around in my purse for a dollar
But all I found was a studded collar
"This isn't mine!"
It's for my pet swine
If you want her, just give me a holler.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've painted your portrait in toothpaste

[Coffee]

I've painted your portrait in toothpaste
I'm hoping you find it in good taste

[funkytuba]

I've painted your portrait in toothpaste
I'm hoping you find it in good taste
With Colgate and Crest

[Frieda]

I've painted your portrait in toothpaste
I'm hoping you find it in good taste
With Colgate and Crest
smelling minty and fresh

[straymonk]

I've painted your portrait in toothpaste
I'm hoping you find it in good taste
With Colgate and Crest
smelling minty and fresh
I kiss the fluoride version of your face

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The movie that night was quite boring

[ambo]

The movie that night was quite boring
So my pockets I soon was exploring

[rapscalious rob]

The movie that night was quite boring
So my pockets I soon was exploring
First, I found some ham

[Coffee]

The movie that night was quite boring
So my pockets I soon was exploring
First, I found some ham
then blueberry jam

[Smartypants]

The movie that night was quite boring
So my pockets I soon was exploring
First, I found some ham
then blueberry jam
and a photo of Pauline Kael snoring.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'm reading the diary of my roomie

[Smartypants]

I'm reading the diary of my roomie
It says for a price that he'd "do" me.

[straymonk]

I'm reading the diary of my roomie
It says for a price that he'd "do" me.
A six pack of beer

[masterofNone]

I'm reading the diary of my roomie
It says for a price that he'd "do" me.
A six pack of beer
and a change of career

[Audreyvgs]

I'm reading the diary of my roomie
It says for a price that he'd "do" me.
A six pack of beer
and a change of career
but he'd still have to woo me to screw me.

[Deviate]

it's late and i should go to bed

[Coffee]

it's late and i should go to bed
the sandman is beating my head

[funkytuba]

It's late and i should go to bed
the sandman is beating my head
But the ZeBoard, It calls




BTW:

I've painted your portrait in toothpaste
I'm hoping you find it in good taste
With Colgate and Crest
I have captured your breast
Now on to Brand X for your face

[Smartypants]

It's late and i should go to bed
the sandman is beating my head
But the ZeBoard, It calls
My addiction, these scrawls!

[straymonk]

It's late and i should go to bed
the sandman is beating my head
But the ZeBoard, It calls
My addiction, these scrawls!
I'll keep rhyming until I am dead!

[rapscalious rob]

DV8, joe, funky, smarty, & monk: that was a good one! :D


There once was a fellow named Wong

[Smartypants]

There once was a fellow named Wong
Poor Wong longed for a dong like King Kong

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a fellow named Wong
Poor Wong longed for a dong like King Kong
he gave up all hope

[chuckie egg]

There once was a fellow named Wong
Poor Wong longed for a dong like King Kong
he gave up all hope
had a brainwave about rope

[funkytuba]

There once was a fellow named Wong
Poor Wong longed for a dong like King Kong
he gave up all hope
had a brainwave about rope
now he's spliced some nice hemp on his schlong

[Klynne]

There is something terribly wrong

[nycwriters]

There is something terribly wrong
my heart feels it's playing ping pong

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There is something terribly wrong
my heart feels it's playing ping pong
but I'll keep on jogging

[RevEf]

There is something terribly wrong
my heart feels it's playing ping pong
but I'll keep on jogging
my glasses are fogging

[funkytuba]

There is something terribly wrong
my heart feels it's playing ping pong
but I'll keep on jogging
my glasses are fogging
Angina as I go along

[ambo]

I limped on my swollen right ankle

[funkytuba]

I limped on my swollen right ankle
this condition of my sure does rankle

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I limped on my swollen right ankle
this condition of my sure does rankle
but it's all my own fault

[funkytuba]

I limped on my swollen right ankle
this condition of mine sure does rankle
but it's all my own fault
I slipped on some salt
while engaged in some odd hanky-pankle

[RevEf]

I think that I've figured out limericks!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I think that I've figured out limericks!
And I found that it takes more than clever tricks

[rapscalious rob]

I think that I've figured out limericks!
And I found that it takes more than clever tricks
It takes dumb ones, as well

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I think that I've figured out limericks!
And I found that it takes more than clever tricks
It takes dumb ones, as well
if you want to excel

[Smartypants]

I think that I've figured out limericks!
And I found that it takes more than clever tricks
It takes dumb ones, as well
if you want to excel
You'll take kudos but also some bat-bricks

[Klynne]

I know that I am quite certain

[straymonk]

I know that I am quite certain
somewhere behind this dark curtain

[ambo]

I know that I am quite certain
somewhere behind this dark curtain
is a man with a scar

[Smartypants]

I know that I am quite certain
somewhere behind this dark curtain
is a man with a scar
who's a well known porn star

[rapscalious rob]

I know that I am quite certain
somewhere behind this dark curtain
is a man with a scar
who's a well known porn star
his scar ain’t the thing that’s hurtin’

[straymonk]

Rolling on the floor and laughing

[chuckie egg]

Rolling on the floor and laughing
I must stop to avoid chaffing