communal limericks

[Coffee]

First Eve of oh five spent alone

[Large Marge]

First Eve of oh five spent alone
Just me and the dog with a bone

[Hyakujo's Fox]

First Eve of oh five spent alone
Just me and the dog with a bone
and some friends from next door

[Marcus Bales]

First Eve of oh five spent alone
Just me and the dog with a bone
and some friends from next door
in a frenzied rapport

[Large Marge]

First Eve of oh five spent alone
Just me and the dog with a bone
and some friends from next door
in a frenzied rapport
tried to keep me from feeling forlorn

[Marcus Bales]

The surge of the fans toward the stage

[Large Marge]

The surge of the fans toward the stage
made me feel about half of my age

[trisherina]

The surge of the fans toward the stage
made me feel about half of my age
Could I mosh? What a thrill!

[Marcus Bales]

The surge of the fans toward the stage
made me feel about half of my age
Could I mosh? What a thrill!
Yes I could! So until

[Large Marge]

The surge of the fans toward the stage
made me feel about half of my age
Could I mosh? What a thrill!
Yes I could! So until
I drop dead, I will live for the rage

[Marcus Bales]

If ever you come back around

[Large Marge]

If ever you come back around
I will grab you by the neck and pound

[Marcus Bales]

If ever you come back around
I will grab you by the neck and pound
A stake in your heart

[Large Marge]

If ever you come back around
I will grab you by the neck and pound
A stake in your heart
till you cry and depart

[trisherina]

If ever you come back around
I will grab you by the neck and pound
A stake in your heart
till you cry and depart
And go back with the worms in the ground.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's a word in the Portuguese

[Large Marge]

There's a word in the Portuguese
that sounds like a goat eating cheese

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's a word in the Portuguese
that sounds like a goat eating cheese
a complete lack of vowels

[trisherina]

There's a word in the Portuguese
that sounds like a goat eating cheese
a complete lack of vowels
like voiding your bowels

[Marcus Bales]

There's a word in the Portuguese
that sounds like a goat eating cheese
a complete lack of vowels
like voiding your bowels
in the grip of some dreadful disease.

[Large Marge]

I once thought men were brilliant

[joppa.gal]

I once thought men were brilliant
With their display of cunning woman-hunt

[Marcus Bales]

I once thought men were brilliant
With their display of cunning woman-hunt
but now I can see

[xfox]

I once thought men were brilliant
With their display of cunning woman-hunt
but now I can see
it is she who chooses

[trisherina]

I once thought men were brilliant
With their display of cunning woman-hunt
but now I can see
that the chooser is she
who bones up on Hegel and Kant.

[Large Marge]

There once was a woman named Frank

[funkytuba]

There once was a woman named Frank
her house: dingy, dirty, and dank

[Large Marge]

There once was a woman named Frank
her house: dingy, dirty, and dank
she sat by the fire

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a woman named Frank
her house: dingy, dirty, and dank
she sat by the fire
in filthy attire

[Large Marge]

There once was a woman named Frank
her house: dingy, dirty, and dank
she sat by the fire
in filthy attire
and pondered, "What is that stank?"

[Marcus Bales]

A woman named Frank lived alone

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A woman named Frank lived alone
she'd divorced from her husband Joan

[funkytuba]

A woman named Frank lived alone
she'd divorced from her husband Joan
seems joan didn't care

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A woman named Frank lived alone
she'd divorced from her husband Joan
seems joan didn't care
for men's underwear

[Marcus Bales]

A woman named Frank lived alone,
divorced from her husband named Joan;
seems joan didn't care
for men's underwear
with or without any bone

[Large Marge]

I once knew a boy named Sue

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I once knew a boy named Sue
who would only wear one shoe

[trisherina]

I once knew a boy named Sue
who would only wear one shoe.
The shoeless foot froze

[Aphrodite]

I once knew a boy named Sue
who would only wear one shoe.
The shoeless foot froze
He lost a few toes

[Marcus Bales]

I once knew a fellow named Sue
who'd only wear one single shoe.
The shoeless foot froze
He lost a few toes
And the end of his snake-scale tattoo

[trisherina]

Two thousand and five is upon us

[Large Marge]

Two thousand and five is upon us
and people are making a big fuss

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Two thousand and five is upon us
and people are making a big fuss
but I spent new year's night

[trisherina]

Two thousand and five is upon us
and people are making a big fuss
but I spent new year's night
eating Turkish delight

[Large Marge]

Two thousand and five is upon us
and people are making a big fuss
but I spent new year's night
eating Turkish delight
and now pray to the porcelain goddess

[Marcus Bales]

An expert in art at the MOMA

[Hyakujo's Fox]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma

[Large Marge]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini

[funkytuba]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)

[Large Marge]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

[Hyakujo's Fox]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation

[Large Marge]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation

[Marcus Bales]

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor

[Large Marge]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered

[Marcus Bales]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

[Large Marge]

:)



.

[Marcus Bales]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say

[Large Marge]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say
"Please meet me in Santa Fe"

[funkytuba]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say
"Please meet me in Santa Fe"
I'm down on my luck
and just spent my last buck

[Large Marge]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say
"Please meet me in Santa Fe.
I'm down on my luck
and just spent my last buck
And your dog has just run away."

[Hyakujo's Fox]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say
"Please meet me in Santa Fe.
I'm down on my luck
and just spent my last buck
And your dog has just run away."

So Ramona was on the next flight

[Large Marge]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say
"Please meet me in Santa Fe.
I'm down on my luck
and just spent my last buck
And your dog has just run away."

So Ramona was on the next flight
unfortunately, as high as a kite

[Marcus Bales]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say
"Please meet me in Santa Fe.
I'm down on my luck
and just spent my last buck
And your dog has just run away."

So Ramona was on the next flight
unfortunately, as high as a kite
From Halloween to Hanukkah
She roamed Santa Monica
To rescue Louise from her plight.

[Gatsby]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say
"Please meet me in Santa Fe.
I'm down on my luck
and just spent my last buck
And your dog has just run away."

So Ramona was on the next flight
unfortunately, as high as a kite
From Halloween to Hanukkah
She roamed Santa Monica
To rescue Louise from her plight.

But when Louise's flight hit the tarmac

[Marcus Bales]

An expert in art at the MOMA
decided to see Oklahoma
so she packed up the Mini
with hot pants (she's skinny)
and the dog of her best friend, Ramona

They set off with great expectation,
Louise and the dog v. the nation
From Portland to Bangor
Louise became angered
By the absence of good conversation.

She called up Ramona to say
"Please meet me in Santa Fe.
I'm down on my luck
and just spent my last buck
And your dog has just run away."

So Ramona was on the next flight
unfortunately, as high as a kite
From Halloween to Hanukkah
She roamed Santa Monica
To rescue Louise from her plight.

But when Louise's flight hit the tarmac
At six hundred per, not an arm (ack!)
nor a leg (ew!) remain
from aluminum rain --
I'm heading off now for the bar, Mac.

[Gatsby]

A dastardly dog from Des Moines

[Large Marge]

A dastardly dog from Des Moines
found a mark to work a few coin

[Marcus Bales]

A dastardly dog from Des Moines
found a mark to work a few coin
But a dog from Dubuque

[Large Marge]

A dastardly dog from Des Moines
found a mark to work a few coin
But a dog from Dubuque
on a whim and a fluke

[Smartypants]

A dastardly dog from Des Moines
found a mark to work a few coin
But a dog from Dubuque
on a whim and a fluke
Licked that pug with a kick to the groin.

[Marcus Bales]

I sit at the shoreline and think

[trisherina]

I sit at the shoreline and think,
"If I were a ship, would I sink?

[Marcus Bales]

I sit at the shoreline and think,
"If I were a ship, would I sink?"
I look at my fat

[AsianBoy]

I sit at the shoreline and think,
"If I were a ship, would I sink?"
I look at my fat
And the ground where I sat

[trisherina]

I sit at the shoreline and think,
"If I were a ship, would I sink?"
I look at my fat
And the ground where I sat
And mourn the imprint of my dink. :D

[AsianBoy]

I think I've found a new calling

[Gatsby]

I think I've found a new calling
It's different, some would say appalling

[Marcus Bales]

I think I've found a new calling
It's different, some would say appalling
It's real plug and play

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I think I've found a new calling
It's different, some would say appalling
It's real plug and play
I can sense your dismay

[trisherina]

I think I've found a new calling
It's different, some would say appalling
It's real plug and play
I can sense your dismay
When you learn it's your ashes I'm hauling.

[Marcus Bales]

The metaphor's weak -- for today

[Large Marge]

The metaphor's weak -- for today
No man is an island, some would say

[Marcus Bales]

The metaphor's weak -- for today
No man is an island, some would say,
You'd think when his ashes

[trisherina]

The metaphor's weak -- for today
No man is an island, some would say,
You'd think when his ashes
Got hauled, there'd be lashes

[Marcus Bales]

The metaphor's weak -- for today
No man is an island, some would say,
You'd think when his ashes
Got hauled, there'd be lashes
As punishment for the cliche.

[Gatsby]

A dashing young man came from Dover

[Marcus Bales]

A dashing young man came from Dover
By way of Beijing -- what a rover!

[Gatsby]

A dashing young man came from Dover
By way of Beijing -- what a rover!
He upped all the antes

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A dashing young man came from Dover
By way of Beijing -- what a rover!
He upped all the antes
by dropping his manties

[Large Marge]

A dashing young man came from Dover
By way of Beijing -- what a rover!
He upped all the antes
by dropping his manties
and then the girls plowed him over

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A striking young girl came from Delhi

[Large Marge]

A striking young girl came from Delhi
with her tuba, a duck and a house key

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A striking young girl came from Delhi
with her tuba, a duck and a house key
the tuba she would blow

[Marcus Bales]

A striking young girl came from Delhi
with her tuba, a duck and a house key
the tuba she'd blow
deep, wet, and slow

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A striking young girl came from Delhi
with her tuba, a duck on her belly
the tuba she'd blow
deep, wet, and slow
as the duck read from Machiavelli

[Large Marge]

Why is life taken so seriously

[Marcus Bales]

Another young girl, from Darjeeling,

[Large Marge]

Another young girl, from Darjeeling,


Ok, we don't have to use mine.


Another young girl from Darjeeling
left a man broken-hearted and reeling

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Why is life taken so seriously
when it could be taken deliriously


Another young girl from Darjeeling
left a man broken-hearted and reeling
he cried hard for six days

[trisherina]

Why is life taken so seriously
when it could be taken deliriously
All of that sturm und drang


Another young girl from Darjeeling
left a man broken-hearted and reeling
he cried hard for six days
and then started a blaze

[Marcus Bales]

Why is life taken so seriously
when it could be taken deliriously
All that sturm und that drang
That Brunhilde sang

Another young girl from Darjeeling
left a man broken-hearted and reeling
he cried for six days
and then started a blaze
They could see from both Charlotte and Wheeling.

[funkytuba]

Why is life taken so seriously
when it could be taken deliriously
All that sturm und that drang
That Brunhilde sang
can now only end deleteriously

[Gatsby]

When faced with a weird situation

[trisherina]

When faced with a weird situation
Remember Earth's daily rotation

[Gatsby]

When faced with a weird situation
Remember Earth's daily rotation
We endlessly spin

[Smartypants]

When faced with a weird situation
Remember Earth's daily rotation
We endlessly spin
'round our yang with our yin

[trisherina]

When faced with a weird situation
Remember Earth's daily rotation
We endlessly spin
'round our yang with our yin,
Resulting in endless frustration.

[Gatsby]

A madd'ning, incurable tic

[Kerin]

A madd'ning incurable tic
On my neck it has chosen to stick

[Marcus Bales]

A madd'ning incurable tic
On my neck it has chosen to stick
On some days it twitches
On others it itches

[Coffee]

A madd'ning incurable tic
On my neck it has chosen to stick
On some days it twitches
On others it itches
Damn this damn two foot long dick.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The police evidence is damning

[Kerin]

The police evidence is damning
Oh look! The space ship is landing

[Marcus Bales]

The police evidence is damning
Oh look! The space ship is landing!
That should occupy them
While I slide right by them

[Large Marge]

The police evidence is damning
Oh look! The space ship is landing!
That should occupy them
While I slide right by them
and flee the scene of this misunderstanding

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Aliens visiting the Earth

[Marcus Bales]

Aliens visiting Earth
Often collapse into mirth

[daverbee]

Aliens visiting Earth
Often collapse into mirth
Thay laugh and they giggle

[Marcus Bales]

Aliens visiting Earth
Often collapse into mirth
They laugh and they giggle
Their antennae wiggle

[trisherina]

Aliens visiting Earth
Often collapse into mirth
They laugh and they giggle
Their antennae wiggle
But they let us be, for what it's worth.

[madasacutsnake]

A luminous one-eyed gastropod

[trisherina]

A luminous one-eyed gastropod
Said, "Hail to me: I am overlord!"

[madasacutsnake]

A luminous one-eyed gastropod
Said, "Hail to me: I am overlord!"
"I am squid, hear me roar!"

[Marcus Bales]

A luminous one-eyed gastropod
Said, "Hail to me: I am overlord!
"I am squid, hear me roar!
I have warned you before

[trisherina]

A luminous one-eyed gastropod
Said, "Hail to me: I am overlord!
"I am squid, hear me roar!
I have warned you before
Now I'll fry you in batter, like cod.

[madasacutsnake]

It's considered chic to grill, not fry

[Marcus Bales]

It's chic now to grill, and not fry
And drive on vacation, not fly

[daverbee]

It's chic now to grill, and not fry
And drive on vacation, not fly
Tho' not rich, we're all healthy

[Hyakujo's Fox]

It's chic now to grill, and not fry
And drive on vacation, not fly
Tho' not rich, we're all healthy
ain't that better than wealthy?

[madasacutsnake]

It's chic now to grill, and not fry
And drive on vacation, not fly
Tho' not rich, we're all healthy
ain't that better than wealthy?
Wrong thread >> Limerick ends in a "y"!

[Marcus Bales]

I begged her -- her look was as icy

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I begged her -- her look was as icy
my chances were looking quite dicey

[Marcus Bales]

I begged her -- her look was as icy
my chances were looking quite dicey
I dealt my best card

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I begged her -- her look was as icy
my chances were looking quite dicey
I dealt my best card
And looked at her hard

[daverbee]

I begged her -- her look was as icy
my chances were looking quite dicey
I dealt my best card
And looked at her hard
But found that she was kinda licy

[Aphrodite]

So now she is not so appealing

[Marcus Bales]

So now she is not so appealing
In spite of the fact she's revealing

[trisherina]

So now she is not so appealing
In spite of the fact she's revealing
Her penchant for cooking

[Large Marge]

So now she is not so appealing
In spite of the fact she's revealing
Her penchant for cooking
sends most men off looking

[Marcus Bales]

So now she is not so appealing
In spite of the fact she's revealing
Her penchant for cooking
sends most men off looking
For that woman who danced in Darjeeling

[trisherina]

I'll tell you the way you should think

[Marcus Bales]

I'll tell you the way you should think
If your brain hasn't gone on the blink

[madasacutsnake]

I'll tell you the way you should think
If your brain hasn't gone on the blink
But I'm leery of facts

[Marcus Bales]

I'll tell you the way you should think
If your brain hasn't gone on the blink
But I'm leery of facts --
My panic attacks

[Large Marge]

I'll tell you the way you should think
If your brain hasn't gone on the blink
But I'm leery of facts --
My panic attacks
have me heaving over the sink

[Marcus Bales]

I slept with the goddess of hate

[Large Marge]

I slept with the goddess of hate
she clearly showed me my fate

[Marcus Bales]

I slept with the goddess of hate
she clearly showed me my fate
my soul would discharge
from my self by a marge
with a great and irate unstraight weight!

[trisherina]

The last thing you see when you die

[Large Marge]

The last thing you see when you die
might determine the how and the why

[trisherina]

The last thing you see when you die
might determine the how and the why,
but for sure not the what;

[madasacutsnake]

The last thing you see when you die
might determine the how and the why,
but for sure not the what;
unless it's a hot

[trisherina]

The last thing you see when you die
might determine the how and the why,
but for sure not the what;
unless it's a hot
fireplace poker impaling your eye.

[Large Marge]

I dreamt I was dating a star

[trisherina]

I dreamt I was dating a star
And feared I was not up to par

[zenbabe]

I dreamt I was dating a star
And feared I was not up to par
So I got my boobs done

[Large Marge]

I dreamt I was dating a star
And feared I was not up to par
So I got my boobs done
and boy, was he stunned

[zenbabe]

I dreamt I was dating a star
And feared I was not up to par
So I got my boobs done
and boy, was he stunned
I can't rhyme but so what!

[straymonk]

My rhyme-challenged self was in love

[Large Marge]

My rhyme-challenged self was in love
so I struggled to rise above

[trisherina]

My rhyme-challenged self was in love
so I struggled to rise above
the muck and the dreck

[Large Marge]

My rhyme-challenged self was in love
so I struggled to rise above
the muck and the dreck,
but I failed, oh heck!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

My rhyme-challenged self was in love
so I struggled to rise above
the muck and the dreck,
but I failed, oh heck!
for such verse she'll give me the shove

[Kerin]

I once met a man from Nantucket

[Large Marge]

I once met a man from Nantucket
who quit his job with a "f*** it!!"

[trisherina]

I once met a man from Nantucket
who quit his job with a "f*** it!!"
He sat, unemployed,

[Large Marge]

I once met a man from Nantucket
who quit his job with a "f*** it!!"
He sat, unemployed,
contemplating the void

[madasacutsnake]

I once met a man from Nantucket
who quit his job with a "f*** it!!"
He sat, unemployed,
contemplating the void
which Liza had left in his bucket

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was this very old geezer

[trisherina]

There once was this very old geezer
Who got himself stuck in a freezer

[Large Marge]

There once was this very old geezer
Who got himself stuck in a freezer
"I was looking for Spam,

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was this very old geezer
Who got himself stuck in a freezer
"I was looking for Spam,
to serve my wife Pam

[madasacutsnake]

There once was this very old geezer
Who got himself stuck in a freezer
"I was looking for Spam,
to serve my wife Pam
But now I'm iced up I can't please her"

[Large Marge]

Carrie liked very large pancakes

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Carrie liked very large pancakes
to follow her six bowls of Bran Flakes

[Large Marge]

Carrie liked very large pancakes
to follow her six bowls of Bran Flakes
A big glass of milk

[ambo]

Carrie liked very large pancakes
to follow her six bowls of Bran Flakes
A big glass of milk
And a large bow of silk

[Marcus Bales]

Carrie liked very large pancakes
to follow her six bowls of Bran Flakes
A big glass of milk
And a large bow of silk
All catered by nine magic mandrakes.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

the doctor prescribed me some pills

[Marcus Bales]

the doctor prescribed me some pills
that tasted like over-ripe dills

[ambo]

the doctor prescribed me some pills
that tasted like over-ripe dills
i forced each one down

[Hyakujo's Fox]

the doctor prescribed me some pills
that tasted like over-ripe dills
i forced each one down
with a gulp and a frown

[Marcus Bales]

the doctor prescribed me some pills
that tasted like over-ripe dills
i forced each one down
with a gulp and a frown
and they did absolute wonders for my rhythmic skills.

[madasacutsnake]

I think you should change your doctor

[trisherina]

I think you should change your doctor
Hit 'er? He up and cold cocked 'er!

[Large Marge]

I think you should change your doctor
Hit 'er? He up and cold cocked 'er!
out like a light

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I think you should change your doctor
Hit 'er? He up and cold cocked 'er!
out like a light
for the rest of the night

[trisherina]

I think you should change your doctor
Hit 'er? He up and cold cocked 'er!
out like a light
for the rest of the night
So I went to the pawnshop and hocked 'er.

[ambo]

I thought I knew what he was thinking

[Marcus Bales]

I thought I knew what he was thinking
By the way he was smiling and winking

[Large Marge]

I thought I knew what he was thinking
By the way he was smiling and winking
but as it turns out

[trisherina]

I thought I knew what he was thinking
By the way he was smiling and winking
but as it turns out
he was merely a tout

[Marcus Bales]

I thought I knew what he was thinking
By the way he was smiling and winking
but as it turns out
he was merely a tout
for a porn-site to which he was linking.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I have tried to keep up the pretence

[Large Marge]

I have tried to keep up the pretence
but my habits make in a nuisance

[zenbabe]

I have tried to keep up the pretence
but my habits make in a nuisance
Even though im absurd

[funkytuba]

I have tried to keep up the pretence
but my habits make in a nuisance
Even though im absurd
when it comes to a turd

[Large Marge]

I have tried to keep up the pretence
but my habits make it a nuisance
Even though im absurd
when it comes to a turd
I can't stand the smell of the substance


*pew*

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I was lying on a bear skin rug

[Marcus Bales]

I was lying on a bear skin rug
as frank as a smirk and a shrug

[Large Marge]

I was lying on a bear skin rug
as frank as a smirk and a shrug
when a knock at the door

[Marcus Bales]

I was lying on a bear skin rug
as frank as a smirk and a shrug
when a knock at the door
got me up off the floor

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I was lying on a bear skin rug
as frank as a smirk and a shrug
when a knock at the door
got me up off the floor
it was a sailor in search of a tug

[Marcus Bales]

I gave him a tug, and surprise!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I gave him a tug, and surprise!
He sailed off in it right 'fore my eyes

[Marcus Bales]

I gave him a tug, and surprise!
He sailed off in it right 'fore my eyes
With a grimace and grunt

[Zaftig]

I gave him a tug, and surprise!
He sailed off in it right 'fore my eyes
With a grimace and grunt
He said it quite blunt

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I gave him a tug, and surprise!
He sailed off in it right 'fore my eyes
With a grimace and grunt
He said it quite blunt
"I'm not much of one for goodbyes!"

[Marcus Bales]

I've got such a terrible cold

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've got such a terrible cold
When I sneeze I entirely fold

[madasacutsnake]

I've got such a terrible cold
When I sneeze I entirely fold
Then need to readjust

[Marcus Bales]

I've got such a terrible cold
When I sneeze I entirely fold
Then need to readjust
My bra on my bust

[Kerin]

I've got such a terrible cold
When I sneeze I entirely fold
Then need to readjust
My bra on my bust
Before they get covered in mould

[rapscalious rob]

there once was a sunning young runt

[Marcus Bales]

there once was a sunning young runt
Who held up a mirror in front

[Hyakujo's Fox]

there once was a sunning young runt
Who held up a mirror in front
to see a reflection

[Aphrodite]

there once was a sunning young runt
Who held up a mirror in front
to see a reflection
perceived as perfection

[madasacutsnake]

there once was a sunning young runt
Who held up a mirror in front
to see a reflection
perceived as perfection
But saw only instead a fairly average face and body.

[Marcus Bales]

To the mirror she said, "I'm in luck!"

[madasacutsnake]

To the mirror she said, "I'm in luck!"
I've a coupon for a nip and tuck

[Marcus Bales]

To the mirror she said, "I'm in luck!
I've a coupon for a nip and tuck."
So she did up her hair
But before she got there

[trisherina]

To the mirror she said, "I'm in luck!
I've a coupon for a nip and tuck."
So she did up her hair
But before she got there
She ran over herself with a truck.

[madasacutsnake]

It looked like it needed surgery

[Marcus Bales]

It looked like it needed surgery
In the background the music was dirgery

[madasacutsnake]

It looked like it needed surgery
In the background the music was dirgery
Trust Marcus to find a rhyme

[zenbabe]

It looked like it needed surgery
In the background the music was dirgery
Trust Marcus to find a rhyme
And to do it in time

[madasacutsnake]

It looked like it needed surgery
In the background the music was dirgery
Trust Marcus to find a rhyme
And to do it in time
Though "dirgery" sounds like a firgery

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I spent all my money on roses

[Marcus Bales]

I spent all my money on Roses
Sweet Lime Juice and rum, which disposes

[trisherina]

I spent all my money on Roses
Sweet Lime Juice and rum, which disposes
Of worries apace

[funkytuba]

I spent all my money on Roses
Sweet Lime Juice and rum, which disposes
Of worries apace
but soon I shall face

[trisherina]

I spent all my money on Roses
Sweet Lime Juice and rum, which disposes
Of worries apace
but soon I shall face
The Trinity, followed by Moses.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I bought her the perfect limousine

[madasacutsnake]

I bought her the perfect limousine
She said, "I'm really not fond of green"

[Marcus Bales]

I bought her the perfect limousine
She said, "I'm really not fond of green --
And I don't suppose
You've got one perfect rose

[madasacutsnake]

I bought her the perfect limousine
She said, "I'm really not fond of green --
And I don't suppose
You've got one perfect rose --
No, it's never my luck it would seem"

[Marcus Bales]

I smell the approaching of spring

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I smell the approaching of spring
I wonder just what it might bring

[madasacutsnake]

I smell the approaching of spring
I wonder just what it might bring
limousines and roses
tulips and garden hoses

[Marcus Bales]

I smell the approaching of spring
I wonder just what it might bring
limousines and roses
tulips and garden hoses ...
are all of us thinking one thing?

[madasacutsnake]

Let's do it like bunnies, she said

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Let's do it like bunnies, she said
They set to it like minks instead

[madasacutsnake]

Let's do it like bunnies, she said
They set to it like minks instead
Then went at it like otters

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Let's do it like bunnies, she said
They set to it like minks instead
Then went at it like otters
Red as communist plotters

[madasacutsnake]

Let's do it like bunnies, she said
They set to it like minks instead
Then went at it like otters
Red as communist plotters
Then she ate him because he was dead

[Marcus Bales]

So Martha is now out of jail

[funkytuba]

So Martha is now out of jail
and not with a file nor a nail

[Marcus Bales]

So Martha is now out of jail
and not with a file nor a nail
oh, isn't it funny
a whole lot of money

[trisherina]

So Martha is now out of jail
and not with a file nor a nail
oh, isn't it funny
a whole lot of money
Can help you continue to fail.

[Marcus Bales]

She said she was more than eighteen