Question for Question

[SpecialK]

Have you put anything on it?

[catbelly]

Special, do you think it's time he went to the proctologist?

[rapscalious rob]

Why does everybody assume I’m a proctologist?

[catbelly]

Could it be those rubber gloves you're wearing?

[rapscalious rob]

can’t you tell they’re polyurethane?

[catbelly]

rubber schmubber, polyurethane poly schmurethane ... don't you know they are all the same??

[Coffee]

Don't you think that if you held them in "front" of us when you show them to us we could determine that easier?

[catbelly]

I don't know, are they in front of me where I can see them?

[daverbee]

Doesn't that depend on which way you're facing?

[rapscalious rob]

Doesn’t what depend on which way whom is facing?

[catbelly]

I am feeling confused ... can someone else be in charge of which way I'm facing?

[rapscalious rob]

Can you take my lunch break for me?

[catbelly]

Certainly, and I will take your vacation as well and your raise too if that's OK?

[rapscalious rob]

Could we switch?

[catbelly]

How can I say this ... ?

[daverbee]

Have you tried forming sentences in your mind and then speaking them out loud?

[catbelly]

Is it a good idea, considering the current environment of fear and loathing?

[dominic_mason]

I don't worry, maybe you shouldn't either cats?

[catbelly]

Ahhhh isn't life great when you don't have to worry?

[dominic_mason]

yep it's juzt zipadeedoodah, maybe roll over and I'll rub yer belly (in a fuzzy cat way)?

[Deviate]

why do all the bad things happen to me?

[catbelly]

Would you like a hug, or a belly rub from cheeky mason?

[Klynne]

That depends, what does he look like?

[Aphrodite]

Was that a cheeky question?

[priceyfatprude]

Do I have to see your cheeks?

[daverbee]

Is that a question or an offer?

[Perky Pat]

what?

[malina]

ach?

[Perky Pat]

och no?

[malina]

the noo?

[Perky Pat]

aye?

[malina]

auchtermuchty?

[Perky Pat]

not auchterarder?

[malina]

ach no?

[Perky Pat]

how no'?

[malina]

y' know?

[daverbee]

Do I?

[JesusTitties]

does miller high life give anyone else the shits?

[noxxville]

are you speaking from experience?

[dalang]

do you really want an answer to that question?

[noxxville]

can you believe I even asked?

[priceyfatprude]

Can you believe I don't care?

[dinzdale]

Do I look like I give a shit?

[priceyfatprude]

Have you eaten your mother's cooking again? Didn't I warn you about that?

[dinzdale]

Like I was listening to you flap your gums?

[priceyfatprude]

Aren't you sorry you didn't? Are you going to buy a new pair of ...knickers?

[Aphrodite]

Do people still wear knickers?

[agentsmith]

have you asked dinz?

[Aphrodite]

Dinz do you wear knickers?

[JesusTitties]

gitch, knickers, underwear, undergarments, which is it?

[Perky Pat]

didn't you forget PANTS?

[Frieda]

who could ever forget PANTS?

[JesusTitties]

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

[daverbee]

You mean it isn't?

[JesusTitties]

do you like stella artois?

[priceyfatprude]

Who the hell is she?

[JesusTitties]

http://fatchicksinpartyhats.com/images/fathat281.jpg ????

[priceyfatprude]

I thought I asked you not to post my picture?

[Magpie]

Don't make me photo shop you JT?

[JesusTitties]

can i not show the world your beauty?

[JesusTitties]

Originally posted by Magpie
Don't make me photo shop you JT.

do you understand the rules of this thread?

[JesusTitties]

haha buggar, you edited and put a question mark at the end. ?

[Magpie]

Originally posted by priceyfatprude
I thought I asked you not to post my picture?
He used my pic for his avatar PFP, although flattered...I'd rather keep some things private. Public domain gets me every time.

[Magpie]

QUESTION AUTHORITY! (?)
;)

[Smartypants]

How is it that I didn't notice this thread until just now?

[JesusTitties]

where does your faith lie?

[priceyfatprude]

Boogers? What?

[Magpie]

What the fvck is a "buggar"?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

[JesusTitties]

Johnny Cash singing Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus????

[Magpie]

No, actually...

"You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma"
by David Frizzell

[JesusTitties]

will someone explain to her the rules?

[Smartypants]

Doesn't she have to ask first?

[Smartypants]

Will this work? "What part of the rules of this thread do you not understand?"

[JesusTitties]

cant she just follow along?

[Magpie]

What ever could you mean?

When are you going to remove my picture as your avatar?

[JesusTitties]

a new design just for you, my love, do you like it?

[Magpie]

Yes! Bears no resemblance to me thank you?

[Smartypants]

She IS really annoying about not following those rules, isn't she, JT?

[Smartypants]

Do you think she's doing it on purpose?! :eek:

[priceyfatprude]

Am I supposed to care? Who is going to buy me a Chicago Dog?

[Smartypants]

What do you want on that dog, ma'am?

[priceyfatprude]

Would it be prudent to ask for ketchup? hahahahaha

[Smartypants]

Do you think that's a really good idea??

[priceyfatprude]

Can you believe there are actually people out there who eat hot dogs w/ketchup?

[Smartypants]

Is that any weirder than people in California who put mayo on their hamburgers, or applaud at the end of movies?

[Aphrodite]

Who doesn't put ketchup on their hot dogs?

[chuckie egg]

Why can't I just have mustard?

[daverbee]

Didn't he do it, in The LIbrary, with the gun?

[Smartypants]

What did he do, shoot someone who ordered ketchup on his hotdog? Was he a Chicagoan?

[Smartypants]

Originally posted by Aphrodite
Who doesn't put ketchup on their hot dogs?

PFP, do you think Aph here has ever even had a hot dog in Chicago?

[Aphrodite]

Can I also have onions and relish and mustard and chili or sauerkraut with my ketchup on my hot dog, or is that not Chicago enough for the Frisco kid?

[Coffee]

Should I post in the Twiggy forgives thread that I also have been known to put ketchup on my hot dogs...along with mustard, relish, sauerkraut (copying aphros spelling?), cheese, and onions all at the same time?
And what the hell is wrong with that?

And one more question...are Chicagoans like the determiners of what is appropriate to put on psuedo-meat products?

So just one more question, the last...would any Chicagoans or ex-patriate Chicagoesque Fricoans please let us know what is appropriate to put on Spam-wiches? (you have to know the rules to break them..right?)

[Smartypants]

Do you think I make this stuff up?

Weren't you handed the same "How to Order a Hot Dog in Chicago" pamphlet that I was, issued by the Illinois Department of Public Harm Prevention, when you deplaned at O'Hare?

Didn't you know that if you order ketchup on a hot dog in Chicago you can be beaten severely by angry mobs while law enforcment officers stand by and watch, and then city officials pick you up and deport you to....Waukesha? :(

Haven't you ever heard that the only hot dog that legally can be called a hot dog in Chicago is a Vienna Beef dog (steamed or grilled) with onions, relish, mustard, tomatoes, a pickle spear, hot "sport" peppers, and a sprinkling of celery salt?

Do you always kill the messenger?

[daverbee]

What was the message?

[Smartypants]

Are you asking me?

[Coffee]

I'm sorry...I have a short attention span...what were you talking about?

*goes to get a hot dog with ketchup*

[Smartypants]

Did you read that article in the Chicago Journal of Medicine linking hot-dog-with-ketchup consumption to Alzheimer's disease?

[Frieda]

what are you bullshitting about??

[Coffee]

I don't remember if I did or not...did you however read the article published in the California Journal of Creative Culinary Science that quoted a study that discovered a link between rigid food preparation techniques to developement of intollerance, baldness, myopia and loss of libido?

[Smartypants]

Was that the same article that linked online addiction to thin skin and meanspirited-ness!??

:eek: :eek: :D :D

[Coffee]

*rubs thinning pate while squinting to read SP's last entry, pops a viagra and replies...*

What the hell do you mean by that?

*goes to get another hot dog with KETCHUP dammit*



:D

[Smartypants]

LOL! (Or is that "LOL?" ?)

[Coffee]

Lewd or Loose?
Loud or Lame?
Large organ Limp?

And perhaps this is as good a time as any to ask...What does JOJ mean anyhow???

[Frieda]

isn't that norwegian for herring?

[Smartypants]

Oh, now are we going to have to discuss the proper condiments for Norwegian herring??

[Coffee]

I sure hope you don't expect me to have an opinion about how to fix a herring?

[Frieda]

who wants to discuss norwegian herring?

[Smartypants]

Didn't you hear that a fixed herring doesn't ever worry about diminished libido?

[Frieda]

no i didn't.. should i worry about my increasing libido?

[Smartypants]

Could LOL mean Libidinous, Opinionated Lumpfish?

[Coffee]

Are you cutting down herrings now SP?

[Smartypants]

Originally posted by Frieda
no i didn't.. should i worry about my increasing libido?

Well, how are you having your hot dogs?

Could you be overdoing the celery salt, maybe?

[Smartypants]

Have I ever said anything fishy about herring?

[Smartypants]

Did you know that every time I get into trouble on these boards, it seems that PriceyFatPrude starts it?

[Frieda]

ahhhhh do you know how that makes me feel?

[priceyfatprude]

I can't go to bed w/o you getting into a silly argument?

Ketchup is banned by the Chicago Hot Dog council, but no one got that except you, so what does that say?

Does that mean we are the only 2 ZeMonkeys who've ever had a Chicago Dog?

Dammit where is Rimmie when you need her, she could back me up on this??????????????

Shall I post a picture?

http://wwwrsphysse.anu.edu.au/~kzw121/gif/tacky/hotdog-sm.jpg

How about some cheese fries, since I am in WAUKESHA?????:

http://www.iampamela.com/journal/7-27-2003/18.jpg

[Smartypants]

So does this mean I'm vindicated?

And, are those Waukeshan cheese fries even more disgusting than Canadian "poutine???"

[Coffee]

Originally posted by Smartypants
So does this mean I'm vindicated?


Do you believe that supporting irrational Chicago food terrorism is justified???

*dips hot dog in big bowl of ketchup...throws hot dog away and drinks slightly hot dog flavored ketchup....ahhhhhh*

[Frieda]

who puked that out??

[Aphrodite]

Can I have ketchup and vinegar on those fries?

edited because I don't want to eat pre eaten food

Want me to get you a bucket or hold your hair?

[priceyfatprude]

Vindicated? People will put whatever they want on their hot dogs, we cannot stop them, can we?

The pic of the cheese fries made my stomach lurch, now it lurched again thinking of coffee mixed w/hot dog flavored ketchup---how does one think of something so lurch-worthy?

Is it the artist's mind at work again?

[priceyfatprude]

Aphrodite will hold my hair? What a sweetie?

[Aphrodite]

In Georgia they make "Red Eye Gravy" Which is bacon grease and coffee. I didn't taste it, but it's fur dippin yur toast. Want some?

[Aphrodite]

PFP of course I'll hold your hair. Do you want a cool face cloth, and a glass of water as well?

[Smartypants]

Coffee, do you *want* that I should feel vindicated? Did you know that I only exist to please?

And do you realize what a loyal friend PFP is that she would actually drop to her knees and pray to the porcelain god in her efforts to defend my honor?

PFP, aren't you just the best?! :)

xoxo?

[chuckie egg]

?

[Frieda]

when will the hurting stop?

[Coffee]

Can I get you an asprin with codiene for that Frieda?

(is it the foot?)

[red]

can you email codeine?

[Frieda]

do you supply cocaine too, coffee?

[Coffee]

oops...did I mispell caffeine?...sorry bout that.

And I can't wait till it is possible to email drugs...I will be CCing (or BCCing) myself all kinds of stuff.

[Smartypants]

Originally posted by Coffee
oops...did I mispell caffeine?...sorry bout that.

No, you didn't misspell caffeine. You misspelled "misspell."

:D ;)

[Coffee]

Wen u r on cafeine redundnt leters jus slow u down 2 much.
:D

[Coffee]

gaaa...did we just mess up the thread?

[Smartypants]

Doesn't this Alzheimer's thing suck?! Did *I* forget to phrase my criticism in the form of a question?

Should I apologize?

[JesusTitties]

should people who dont know how to ask questions be whipped or muzzelled?

[Smartypants]

Is "muzzelling" some kinky thing that French winemakers do along the Muzzelle river?

[Coffee]

jeez SP...are you like a geography expert as well as a spelling nazi?
:D

[JesusTitties]

how do you spell that word anyways?

[Smartypants]

Do you half eny ID how desruptive all thease zefrank notfictications about new postins are to my abillity to effetively proofreed the job I'm wurking on at the momment?

[Coffee]

Didn't you disable the email notification thing?





(omg...i forgot to do that and found like 300 emails in my yahoo mail account...yikes!!!)...?

[Smartypants]

Did you read that article in the Times about online addiction, and how it is impossible for some people to click on that "unsubscribe from this thread" button? Wasn't it fascinating? Do you subscribe to that?

[nycwriters]

I think there might be something to it ... but tell me, will this guy next to me at work stop singing in a reallllly high falsetto?

[Smartypants]

Do you have any pepper spray?

[nycwriters]

Now that's not very coworkerly is it?

[Smartypants]

And singing in a high falsetto is?

[nycwriters]

Yeah you have a point there, but I have no mace. So what should I do?

[Smartypants]

How is your Paul Robeson imitation?

[nycwriters]

Who? :confused:

[Smartypants]

You don't know Paul Robeson, the VERY deep voiced singer (sang Ole Man River in Showboat, hence a possible antidote to falsetto-coiced co-workers) who caused a big stir by being the first real black man to perform Othello on Broadway (I think) and was blacklisted for his outspoken activism?

[daverbee]

Is "coiced" a word?

[Smartypants]

Is that the typing Nazi calling the spelling Nazi fascistic? :eek: :eek:

nyc: Can you hear Real Media clips off of Amazon? (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000027JZ/ref=pd_sim_music_2/103-2855377-5304619?v=glance&s=music#product-details)

[nycwriters]

Not at work, sadly. Is tonight gonna be fun?

[bealeblues]

do bears shit in the woods?

[Smartypants]

Is the Pope catholic?

[Coffee]

Is that a rhetorical question?

[Smartypants]

Who's asking?

[Coffee]

*looks around*
You talking to me?

[Smartypants]

Is there someone else in the room?

[Coffee]

Did you not see the other 4 folks logged in right now?

[nycwriters]

I'm not sure I'm seeing the same things you are Coffee ... have you been drinking with Beale?

[Coffee]

I thought he only drank alchohol. Has Beale been busted drinking coffee??? :eek:

[Smartypants]

Has Starbucks taken over all the drive-up daiquiri windows, now that Louisiana has decided to lower drivers' legal blood-alcohol level to 65%?

[Magpie]

Aren't thems fightin words?

[Smartypants]

Are you asking me or Beale?

(BTW, is "thems" similar to "you people?") ;)

[agentsmith]

arent you beale?

[Smartypants]

Who, me?

[nycwriters]

Oh wait, I'm starting to understand ... did you steal the cookies from the cookie jar?

[Smartypants]

Is Beale a cookie thief AND an alcoholic??

[Magpie]

Magpie stole the cookie from the cookie jar, who me? yes you, not me, then who?

[Smartypants]

Should I have asked, "is Magpie a cookie thief AND an alcoholic??"?

Magpie, are YOU Beale?

[agentsmith]

are you sure thats an appropriate thing to ask a lady?

[daverbee]

Are you asking politely?

[Smartypants]

Should I have asked (in honor of Beale in the most polite Blanche Dubois manner), "Could you tell me please Miz Magpie, ma'am, are YOU that Mr. Beale that hangs 'round these parts?"

[daverbee]

Are you being sincere when you ask?

[Smartypants]

Do I not sound sincere?

[Frieda]

do i look like i care?

[Smartypants]

If you don't care, why did you write "I'm Frieda. Ask me a question!" on your forehead?

[Frieda]

what? where?

[Smartypants]

You don't see it? Don't you remember writing it? Isn' t that your lipstick color?

[Frieda]

is it.. bright 80's pink??

[Smartypants]

Do I look like I care? ;)

[Frieda]

heh, who are you trying to fool?

[dominic_mason]

do you wiggana waggana want to tell me what's up?

[Magpie]

I wonder what a "wiggana waggana" really is?

[Frieda]

are you aware of the fact that if i tell you this, i will have to kill you?

[JesusTitties]

should i pay first?

[Frieda]

do you require attention?

[daverbee]

How are you paying, cash, check, or credit card?

[Frieda]

do you want ketchup with that?

[Aphrodite]

Is it Heinz?

[Frieda]

is there any other brand?

[Magpie]

And your point would be what?

[Frieda]

don't you think Heinz is the best?

[Magpie]

are you saying you don't like Hunts?

[Magpie]

are you gonna answer me or what?

[Aphrodite]

Don't you find Hunt's less enjoyable?

[Frieda]

what's Hunt's?

[Magpie]

Hunt's is a BIG American brand, ketchup and things haven't you heard? :P

[Frieda]

what's the name of that barbecue sauce you guys have there?

[Magpie]

is that question a joke?

[Frieda]

a question, can i please have an answer?

[Magpie]

there are dozens of brands which one do you mean?
:D

[Frieda]

are you pissing me off on purpose? :D

[Magpie]

yes is it bothering you much?

[Frieda]

what do you think?? :D

[Magpie]

Bullseye, Jack Daniels, KC Masterpiece, are popular but what if that answer pisses you off?

[Magpie]

I have a birdcage to finish cleaning could you answer faster please?

[Frieda]

thank you mapgie, KC it was i think.. do you want a cracker?

[Magpie]

May I give it to my birds who are sitting on the kitchen floor, being stared at by two dogs?

[Magpie]

If I had to leave now you wouldn't think I was being rude would you?




byeeee Frieda? :D

[Frieda]

when will i see you again magpie? :D

[daverbee]

What kind of dogs are staring at your birds, Mags?
What kind of crackers are you offering, Frieda?
Aren't they stale by now?

[Frieda]

why do you think i'm giving them away?

[daverbee]

How much are they?
Do they go good with BBQ sauce?

[Frieda]

do you have KC?

[daverbee]

Is that your favorite?
Ever heard of a local Florida brand called Rumboggies?

[Frieda]

no, what's that?

[daverbee]

I'm off to the grocery store. Should I pick some up for you? Crackers? Thin Mints?

[Frieda]

do they have strawberry juice?

[daverbee]

Will orange juice do?

[Klynne]

Do you have some voldka I can add to it?

[Frieda]

have you already been tasting that voldka? :D

[Aphrodite]

Would you like some raspberry vodka?

[Klynne]

You don't love me anymore?

[agentsmith]

what makes you think that?

[chuckie egg]

Must we think all typos are the result of drunkenness?

Don't you see the consequences?

[daverbee]

Where's the tiepoh?

[chuckie egg]

ok, maybe some people are just drunk?

[daverbee]

Am I too intoxicated to operate heavy machinery as I am about to do?

[Frieda]

will i feel better soon?

[daverbee]

Would you like some Chicken Soup?

[Frieda]

awww how did you know what kind of soup i like best?

[daverbee]

Didn't you know I was psychic?

[Frieda]

did you just misspell the word "psycho"? ;)

[daverbee]

Is there a difference?

[maychorian]

How do you feel about that?

[Frieda]

do i have to answer that?

[maychorian]

Wouldn't you want to?

[Frieda]

is that a problem?

[daverbee]

Did someone say it was?

[Frieda]

weren't you suggesting that?

[daverbee]

Did it seem that way?

[Deviate]

Could you all stop with the flippin' questions?

[Red Princess]

what if it can't be helped?

[Deviate]

Hey, RP, where ya been?

[Red Princess]

been cursing a new designer and planning for her messy demise, wanna help?

[Deviate]

want me to bring the arsenic?

[Red Princess]

can you just render her incapable of dialing the phone?

[daverbee]

Would super glueing her fingers inside a pair of boxing gloves do the trick?