Post something that made you laugh today.

[Frieda]

oh what a gem http://www.davidhasselhoff.com/profiles/blogs/at-home-with-peaches

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

^ it's like when proud parents exercise their kids to show off their amaaazing abilities... ;)

[Frieda]

^mm, the bird definitely does not want to jump in his car :D

[MoJoRiSin]

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aEREWWhMnxw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aEREWWhMnxw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

[Frieda]

gheheh

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7Twnmhe948A&hl=nl&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7Twnmhe948A&hl=nl&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>


heipa heipa!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20090828.gif (http://www.smbc-comics.com/)

[MoJoRiSin]

"]"I think in a few years, IKEA=Verdana will be the norm & their world domination plot will be complete lol":)

[brightpearl]

I read this blog sometimes, Dooce, partly because she gives me some insight into some of my work, and partly because she is freaking hilarious. And also really bright and wonderful to read. She recently posted a letter she got, which she calls The Greatest Email in the History of the Internet.

For context, I suggest you read the blog post it's in response to here (http://dooce.com/2009/08/28/containing-capital-letter-or-two), but in brief, that one is about how she's going to get a lot of emails criticizing her for complaining (in her way-overtired new mom state) that her new washer has broken, leaving her with tons of dirty cloth diapers, when some people don't even have washers or babies or their mom was killed by a washer falling from a broken window and doesn't she have any compassion and they're never going to read her again...

And here is an email she got in response. Which I agree is the best email in the history of the internet: An Epic Vitriolic Screed (http://www.dooce.com/2009/09/01/greatest-email-history-internet).

I laughed really hard.
I feel it may be proof Andy Kaufman faked his own death.

Oh, and the language is absolutely not safe for work.

[Brynn]

Thank you, brightpearl. That was great. I too had an Olympic pooper baby. She too would regularly defecate up to around her hairline while giggling in the most charming way.
Twitter saves the day. FOLLOW :D
And then that epic vitriolic screed was just icing on the cake. Wonderful.

[trisherina]

Staffing

Please welcome our new staff members. Their names and roles are:
...

Mr. Ron Jeremy joins our staff as part of our Health, Social Studies, and Phys Ed Teams. Mr. Jeremy will also be leading our Art Department.


from Principal's Message #1

[xfox]

Picture a family of 3 launching a kite on a sudden collision course with 3 pelicans who aptly dodged it.

[Brynn]

Is your dog too judgmental? (NSFW)

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/x_t8DvM2kX8&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/x_t8DvM2kX8&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01474/sign6_1474215i.jpg

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iEY3IbtYDgU&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iEY3IbtYDgU&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[lukkucairi]

http://www.maniacworld.com/dog-vs-trampoline.html

yeah, yeah :rolleyes:

[Brynn]

This is terrible. I am going straight to hell for posting this.
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/americans_observing_9_11_by?utm_source=videoembed

[MoJoRiSin]

Side one
# Title Lead vocals Length
1. "I've Just Seen a Face" McCartney 2:07
2. "Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)" Lennon 2:05
3. "You Won't See Me" McCartney 3:22
4. "Think for Yourself" (Harrison) Harrison 2:19
5. "The Word" Lennon, McCartney, Harrison 2:43
6. "Michelle" McCartney 2:42

Side two
# Title Lead vocals Length
7. "It's Only Love" Lennon 1:55
8. "Girl" Lennon 2:33
9. "I'm Looking Through You" McCartney 2:27
10. "In My Life" Lennon 2:27
11. "Wait" Lennon and McCartney 2:16
12. "Run for Your Life" Lennon 2:18

[MoJoRiSin]

yesterday : mom my ipod is broken
well not brken but the light is out so i cna't find the songs i want

"well then you are going to have to use that one Michelle left here that works doesn't it?
"i cant use that it only holds 1000 songs!

[Brynn]

^O the humanity ;)

[trisherina]

...Those ants of yours are depressing.

[Brynn]

How to dance at a rave - including the move "Milk the Bull"

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4SItPGEsjLQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4SItPGEsjLQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Anna]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qCzbNkyXO50&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qCzbNkyXO50&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[brightpearl]

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/7/1/4/1714_slide.jpg

[Brynn]

^^ and ^
Very very funny! :D


Not so much funny as just cool:
<iframe src="http://www.snotr.com/embed/2772" width="400" height="330" frameborder="0"></iframe>

[zero]

... but you will, after I got the office for (un)employment off my ass and my supply teacher intermediate job thing to pay my bills but indeed only and exclusively to GET THIS ASSHOLES :mad: IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE OFF MY ASS.... sorry, I still feel mentally unbalanced after yesterday's "orientation meeting" with THIS PARTICULAR ASSHOLE :mad: IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE - but of course the adventures I had (will have?) while visiting THIS ASSHOLES :mad: IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE ...physicists... yes, they FIND work.... in the office for (un)employment, that is, and how I found out that the job I've learned - theoretical chemistry / physical chemistry DOES NOT EXIST ....in yon magic mighty data bank THIS ASSHOLES :mad: IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE adhere to, that is....)

:D

stephanie, may i suggest that for your next meeting you wear fullsize cut out facemask of the S.U.M. with cutaway holes for yours eyes & mouth?

[MoJoRiSin]

Keeping the queen happy enough so that she'll maintain the colony is not the easiest thing in the world. Not to mention, queen ants are VERY photophobic, so an all-gel environment would be not so good for her. I have to keep my antworks in a dark cupboard, but her whole colony has died and it's just her left now.

*sigh*
thank you Brynn for the chuckle :)
go here:

http://www.redferret.net/?p=8180

and scroll down

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01494/wig-shop_1494299i.jpg (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturepicturegalleries/6255182/Selfish-Pigs-by-Andy-Riley-creator-of-The-Bunny-Suicides.html)

[zero]

http://12.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kou29mRBad1qzwoooo1_500.jpg

[Hyakujo's Fox]

reality trumps The Onion (http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project)

[Brynn]

^ ugh.
This is my favorite part:

"Liberals will oppose this effort, but they will have to read the Bible to criticize this, and that will open their minds"

Because, you understand, there's no such thing as a Liberal Christian who has actually read the Bible with an open mind before.

I told a couple of conservative friends about this, and they refused to believe it. "That's got to be something cooked up by the liberal media to make conservatives look bad" they insisted. :D

[brightpearl]

^^Things like that keep me up at night.

I'm considering homeschooling my child so he'll learn evolution.
:D

[Brynn]

Nah, just move to Portland - so much easier! George Bush called us "Little Beirut."

[MoJoRiSin]

^ :D that is a nice piece of fiction
very nice : )

[Frieda]

http://18.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr5rsvR3k91qzpl4ko1_500.jpg

and I went out from the great hotel, and there he was... marcus bales himself! his teeth where those of a lion and his glowing eyes were big as plates!

this made me laugh :D

[MoJoRiSin]

New window
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More about...
Free Pumpkin Templates »
Jim Morrison Poetry »
Pumpkin Pie Crust Recipe »
Tooth Fairy Stationary »

[MoJoRiSin]

^"Gmail uses a completely automated process to provide useful information and relevant(?) ads in the sidebar of your Gmail pages:"

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01512/sign-bull_1512731i.jpg

[Marcus Bales]

"Is that bull safe?" called the man who'd just climbed the fence to the farmer on the other side of the field.

"Yep," replied the farmer. "Can't say the same about you, though."

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/blagofaire.png

[Marcus Bales]

http://www.evilmilk.com/pictures/Tattoo_Locations.jpg

[brightpearl]

Not even a little bit safe for work.

Pterodactyl (http://pterodactyl.me/)

Actually, I'm not sure it's safe for anyone, but it's funny.
My best chica sent it to me, so direct any complaints to her department. :D

I think there's a line, though.

[Marcus Bales]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7oN7QhLuJfo&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7oN7QhLuJfo&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Jack Flanders]

^ That was funny and cute!!

[Brynn]

Now there are no reasons ever to remove your Snuggie (http://thesnuggiesutra.com/), except perhaps to bathe.

really more of just a public service announcement.

[Marcus Bales]

The marshmallow test:

http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/09/psychological-experiments-in-self-control-the-marshmallow-test/

[lukkucairi]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sympathy.png

[lukkucairi]

http://18.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr5rsvR3k91qzpl4ko1_500.jpg

and I went out from the great hotel, and there he was... marcus bales himself! his teeth where those of a lion and his glowing eyes were big as plates!

every time I visit this thread, this post makes me laugh

I'm reposting it so I'll still see it here for another little while :p

[lukkucairi]

:)

And now, time for my announcement:
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SNVj4I9PXlo&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SNVj4I9PXlo&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

:p

[Marcus Bales]

http://static.mmoabc.com/my/k/n/o/ckout/2008/9/15/1221507336987.jpg

[Zdogg]

Ok, I donated a goat just because their video was tight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1yinqadxuQ spread the word!

[Brynn]

^ that is AWESOME, Zdogg :D Makes me happy! Donate those mofo's!

[lukkucairi]

^^that's awesome :D

[Zdogg]

^ that is AWESOME, Zdogg :D Makes me happy! Donate those mofo's!

Thanks! Yeah, it's about time someone got away from the whole puppy dog eyes and sad stories in their charity work.

[MoJoRiSin]

^ :) i agree!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Texas' gay marriage ban may have banned all marriages (http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/AP/story/1340136.html)

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

[Marcus Bales]

<object width="400" height="220"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=5732745&amp;server=vimeo.com&amp;sho w_title=1&amp;show_byline=1&amp;show_portrait=1&amp;color=&amp;ful lscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=5732745&amp;server=vimeo.com&amp;sho w_title=1&amp;show_byline=1&amp;show_portrait=1&amp;color=&amp;ful lscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="220"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/5732745">World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user1103909">World Science Festival</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

[MoJoRiSin]

^ :)

[Marcus Bales]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/e7DkeQ0roAM&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/e7DkeQ0roAM&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[brightpearl]

^:D :D :D
Awesome.


Texas' gay marriage ban may have banned all marriages (http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/AP/story/1340136.html)

Since I waited in line for 3 hours to vote against that amendment, during which time I first experienced fear for my safety due to my beliefs in my own freaking land of the free country, I find that very, VERY amusing. :D

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Flatulent pig sparks gas leak scare (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6669425/Flatulent-pig-sparks-gas-leak-scare.html)

[Frieda]

a dude from the work Programme telling a story about how he got attacked by a swarm of flies while on vacation in Brazil

[MoJoRiSin]

^:p a likely story!

[Frieda]

http://media.nu.nl/m/m1czt1iafvir.jpg

< the PGA cup, the Ryder cup and the UBS cup, and you?
> one A-cup, 3 B-cups and a couple of C-cups ...

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Dear parent/Guardians,

The Grade 7 Science classes are nearing the completion for the unit Pure Substances and Mixtures. In this unit, students have been introduced to the Particle Theory of Matter, and to some of the terminology related to the field of chemistry. They have also been given the opportunity to explore, and conduct experiments related to the properties of solutions and mechanical mixtures.

At this time all students are encouraged to discuss with you the content and expectations of the culminating task along with how it will be assessed. This culminating task allows students to demonstrate the knowledge and skills that he/she has learned throughout the module. Although students are responsible to independently complete this task, we would very much appreciate your assistance for the experimenting component, as students require access to a kitchen and some ingredients to develop their own mixture.

Thank you in advance for your interest and co-operation.

Translation: Your children are going to be making iced cupcakes in your kitchen.

More beauties here:

Plain English awards: the worst offenders (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6759615/Plain-English-awards-the-worst-offenders.html)

[MoJoRiSin]

"I hate people with underbites
Reply Quote Contact
For serious. When I see someone with an underbite, I feel some weird sort of aggression toward them, totally irrational. I'm thinking back, and I can remember anyone with an underbite doing something bad to me. No one in my family has an underbite, no one who picked on me at school, no one who hurt me emotionally, or anything like that. I work in a convenience store near a language school, and there are a handful of kids from Asia who go there, and some of them have underbites. It's really a very curious feeling I get when they come in. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else feels this strange aggression toward people with underbites."
~D.B. at freedom radio dot com (message board)

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

http://www.nordinho.net/vbull/gallery/files/5/6/8/0/adoption__wince.bmp

[lukkucairi]

http://blogbrarian.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/vintage-family-computer.jpg

Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.
Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

:D

[lukkucairi]

"If you didn't know, as of today, Facebook will automatically start plunging the Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings --> Planetary Settings --> Trajectory then UN-CLICK the box that says 'Apocalypse.' Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and ...paste onto your status for all to see"

[Jack Flanders]

^ :eek: :D

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Shakespeare was of course very interested in the debate over climate change, itself something of a religion. Here are a few quotations, which readers may wish to track down themselves:

What a strange drowsiness possesses them!
It is the quality o’ the climate.

I’ll pierce him. If he do
come in my way, so: if he do not, if I come in his
willingly, let him make a carbonado of me.

The murderers,
Steep’d in the colours of their trade, their daggers
Unmannerly breech’d with gore.

This weak impress of love is as a figure
Trenched in ice, which with an hour’s heat
Dissolves to water and doth lose his form.
A little time will melt her frozen thoughts…

A little gale will soon disperse that cloud
And blow it to the source from whence it came:
The very beams will dry those vapours up,
For every cloud engenders not a storm.

The climate’s delicate, the air most sweet,…

It is a reaction to an articlette (http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/culture/olivermarre/100005726/shakespeare-a-catholic-its-beginning-to-look-that-way/) discussing whether Shakespeare was a secret Catholic.

[MoJoRiSin]

http://asset.soup.io/asset/0599/1289_887c_420.jpeg

[MoJoRiSin]

At the Dilbert Store they let you
1. choose a comic strip to put on a mug
"we only have 7557 choices"

it just made me laugh
because the world we live in
is do
over the top :)

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

this:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01548/sign9_1548651i.jpg

and that:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01548/sign15_1548668i.jpg

[Brynn]

"balinese ghost fowl"

[Jack Flanders]

haha!!! ^ still a FWC!!!

[Frieda]

my mothers logic earlier today--

mom: would you like some smoked eel on toast?
me: thats an endangered species nowadays, almost extinct!
mom: i know, thats why we can still eat it.

[zero]

frieda please may you provide the original of that converstaion ^ in its original netherlandish language version? i feel i might enjoy trying to act it outloud on my settee later this evening, with two glovepuppets to reperesent you & yours mom.

thank you for your patience and understanding in his matter!

[MoJoRiSin]

"Tiny Reader Puts Wikipedia In Your Pocket | Wired.com
When the zombie apocalypse hits, you’ll want to have a copy of Wikipedia with you. And you’ll want to make sure it works even if the power is out, cellphone and internet connections are nonexistent, and you’re hunkered down in a remote cave. That way, you’ll be able to consult the sum of all human knowledge to figure out if that mushroom you’re looking at is a healthy and nutritious snack, or a fatally neurotoxic toadstool…"


(in the olden days sometimes animals were corralled into caves for the night)

[Brynn]

It makes a good case for making sure it's the one thing you grab when you're escaping a zombie attack. That's what I call good advertising!:D

[Anna]

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SItFvB0Upb8&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SItFvB0Upb8&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[Brynn]

NSFW
<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ezPwORqlMwo&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ezPwORqlMwo&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

[Brynn]

world's most useless machine (http://www.wimp.com/uselessmachine/)

[12"razormix]

.
http://www.buzzinbizarre.co.uk/files/2008/04/sam_the_goat.jpg
http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Beverly-Hills-90210-tv-20.jpg

[Brynn]

LOL! :D

[Klynne]

In a meeting, my counterpart said, "I can't do that ( a task he was asked to do) because I am incompetent". (and I am a crappy speller) He makes about $20,000 a year more than me. I thought to myself, "If you really don't believe you can do the work, that is one thing, but why announce it to everyone?" I do get alot of his work to complete. Funny to me.

[MoJoRiSin]

just the word ;)

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwoypnkxtj1qzpl4ko1_500.jpg

[Marcus Bales]

http://buffalobeast.com/133/bigthree.jpg

[trisherina]

(Not accurate for Ford... or the Windstar)(though it certainly is a crappy car)

[Brynn]

^I did a Chrysler commercial last year minutes after their bailout and I made a LOT of money, considering the fact that I was only background. I consider it my own little piece of the stimulus package. But I was amazed at the amount of utter waste and incompetence on that shoot.

This made me laugh today -
If games inspired by today's movies and TV shows were made by Atari... (http://penneydesign.tumblr.com/search/retro)

[Marcus Bales]

http://www.shof.msrcsites.co.uk/b2g.html

[Peregrine]

This made me laugh today -
If games inspired by today's movies and TV shows were made by Atari... (http://penneydesign.tumblr.com/search/retro)

Even though I don't know much about programming on the 2600, I'd imagine those might be a little too advanced for the Atari. Comedore 64, maybe. Or an Apple II, or early DOS PC.

[Peregrine]

Polyamory is wrong! (http://www.zazzle.com/polyamory_is_wrong_tshirt-235838933475364492)

[Brynn]

Even though I don't know much about programming on the 2600, I'd imagine those might be a little too advanced for the Atari. Comedore 64, maybe. Or an Apple II, or early DOS PC.

Thanks Peregrine. You just made me feel like a whippersnapper. :)

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

heh (http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=de314e27bfc1de15b09b57715dc53a83)

[brightpearl]

http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/funny-facebook-jesus2.png

[lukkucairi]

^ :D

[lukkucairi]

oh, OK

http://thereifixedit.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/129074478612289448.jpg

[Marcus Bales]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPi5Nxttl98

How to win 6 Grammys: have a little voice and sing flat.

[Brynn]

Word. :( Most of the music on the Grammy's is pretty awful. But what do we expect? It's the Pop Music Awards.

[brightpearl]

:eek:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3496/3258829399_127036f686.jpg

:D

[Brynn]

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich (http://selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com/)

[brightpearl]

My son was humming sweetly to himself in the car this morning, a little tune that sounded familiar but I couldn't place, and just now, hours and hours later, I've realized what it was.

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FJfFZqTlWrQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FJfFZqTlWrQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

[Marcus Bales]

http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/archive.php?today=874&comic=849

The rest of the comic strip is good too, but this one made me laugh.

[MoJoRiSin]

Life is always up or down,
or yes, or no.
But there is one person who is always a yes.
Though with the usual complexities.
Lord, give us a few more years
to enjoy such confusion.
~Mary Oliver

[Marcus Bales]

http://www.picshag.com/weight-measurements.html

[MoJoRiSin]

^^^^ :)
"Pink was originally going to use "The pilot took my private jet and gave it to Haylie Duff" but it "wasn't as funny"."

~Wiki Pedia

[Marcus Bales]

http://imagechan.com/img/5059/Argentina/

[Marcus Bales]

http://images.quickblogcast.com/62851-55111/Maxine.jpg

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

reading this article (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/oscars/7258684/Oscars-it-will-all-end-in-tears....html)

[Frieda]

this happened yesterday but it made me laugh today again--

went out to dinner with a few colleagues from the work programme when one of the guys throught the salt shaker was a mill and twisted it, spilling a whole load of salt over his food and in his wine..

that made me laugh :D

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

We've had entrance exams this week. When the applicants got their stamped papers my colleague instructed them to write 'Dictation' in the middle and listen to the text.

As I was correcting their work I discovered one of the lads wrote 'Dictation' in the centre of the paper. Then wrote the text starting from the top.

Note to self: Be more precise when giving instructions. :rolleyes:

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do.

bertrand russell

:D

[Marcus Bales]

http://open.salon.com/blog/velina/2009/02/06/so_funny_i_did_not_change_a_word

[lukkucairi]

http://imagechan.com/img/7869/Jack%20Nicholson%20The%20Joker/

[lukkucairi]

http://neil.fraser.name/hardware/centrifuge/

[Frieda]

how the words `alfa queue` got mistaken for `i`ll fvck you` during a teleconference :D

[MoJoRiSin]

I feel that I am being just a wee bit paranoid keeping a bit of masking tape covering the built in camera on my laptop. :)
^:D :D :D

[Marcus Bales]

from: http://www.virtualteacher.com.au/history.html

Subject: History of the World

The following is a history of the world from the Egyptians to the beginning
of the First World War, " pasted together from real sentences written by
students on history exams in the U.S." (including the little-known and
rather discomforting suggestion that "Sir Francis Drake circumcised the
world with a 100-foot clipper")...

Student History

The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah
Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the
inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are
cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the
shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between
France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of
their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to
sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his
brother's birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons
to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons,
Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses
led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread
made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide
to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing
the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in
Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500
porcupines.

Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented
three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had
myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles
dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears
in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity", in which
Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey.
Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits,
and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The
government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into
their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so
high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing.
When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the
Persians had more men.

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History call people
Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman
banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished
himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because
they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who
would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King
Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harlod mustarded his troops before
the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw,
and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, the
Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same
offense.

In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest
writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also
wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow
through an apple while standing on his son's head.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of
their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at
Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being
excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the
female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of
great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter
Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another
important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake
circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found
walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth
was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth
exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah." Then her
navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a
great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic.
His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the
Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and the was called the Pilgrim's Progress.
When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came
down the hill rolling their was hoops before them. The Indian squabs
carried porposies on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed,
along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of
1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies
were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks
in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the
post without stamps. During the War, Red Coats and Paul Revere was
throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks
crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for
taxis.

Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented
Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two
singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston
carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm.
He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse
divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still
dead.

George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the
Father of Our Country. Them the Constitution of the United States was
adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people
enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother
died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own
hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said,
"In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address
while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.
He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment
gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and
lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14,
1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the
actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes
Booth, a supposed insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire
invented electricity and also wrote a book called "Candy". Gravity was
invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the
apples are falling off the trees.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel.
Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.
Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he
was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the
forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827
and later died for this.

France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was
accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of
the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the
Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes.
Then the Spanish gorrilas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's
flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and
unrestrained. He wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine
was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is
in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest
queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally
the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was
the final event which ended her reign.

The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and
thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to
spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Raper, which did the
work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis
Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who
wrote the "Organ of the Species". Madman Curie discovered radium. And
Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a
surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

^ I really did laugh out loud.

[brightpearl]

"HEY YOU GUYS! I'M A MIME!!!"

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4qZy6ARqGC4&hl=en_GB&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4qZy6ARqGC4&hl=en_GB&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

[Brynn]

Of course, something is wrong with me for laughing at this, but here it is anyway:
women arrested at airport (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100406/od_nm/us_corpse_airport)

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

barbie footie (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/theweekinpictures/7572414/The-week-in-pictures-9-April-2010.html?image=21)

[Marcus Bales]

http://www.uberpix.net/253/face-of-disapproval/

The Face Of Disapproval will henceforth be given to late judges of the Dictionary Game!

[Marcus Bales]

http://www.animals-zone.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Funny-Cat-51.jpg

Marcus watching Neil blow by; a Scrabble metaphor!

[grumpybumpas]

Is a shure sign of computer failure.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

this article (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2009/12/22/130-ray-ban-wayfarers/)

and the whole blog is pretty good, too

[MoJoRiSin]

mo never watches tv as in never
she will admit to watching SNL several times but
not once after 1979


http://uk.video.yahoo.com/watch/5071946

[brightpearl]

Anatomy of a McNugget (http://media.photobucket.com/image/anatomy%20of%20mcnugget/AK_fragemall/Web%20Mined/mcnugget.jpg)
"For many years, it was believed that the "McNugget" served at McDonalds was a batter-fried piece of formed chicken..."

[grumpybumpas]

Is a shure sign of computer failure.

[grumpybumpas]

(New kid on the block,just waiving a hand.)

(Well hi their.)

My name is Ray and i am here to say that i am pleased to meet you all here today.

[grumpybumpas]

Jesus loves me this i know cause GeorgeBush has told me so.

[Brynn]

Posts #7895-7899 in the Image Association Thread :p

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

a look in the mirror

[lukkucairi]

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L11Ezo6Z7ME&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L11Ezo6Z7ME&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[MoJoRiSin]

i was looking at this
http://inspirationlab.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/infographiclarge_v2.png

and up in the left hand corner i see the inspiration for the sight

so i was typing the German into the Google
and after i presed enter

i look closely at what i had typed and the typo was in lieu of: "100" i had typed "amm"
HOW THE FRIG DID THAT HAPPEN?
it does not take much to make mo laugh

edit: do not fail to check out "post something that made you laugh today #3885 too funny! at the end does she say "i love you"?
mo thinks it does : )

[brightpearl]

http://olivesdailygrowl.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/training-your-adopted-dog.jpg

[MoJoRiSin]

<object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Xtuxax8Dtk4&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Xtuxax8Dtk4&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>

[Odbe]

http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/129165237046083942.jpg

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

^ :D

[brightpearl]

The only exception to my total lack of interest in all things Twitter:

"We just saw a shark fight an octopus inside the geyser. Almost made this whole thing worth it (http://twitter.com/BPGlobalPR)."

[MoJoRiSin]

one of these made me (chuckle to myself) but i will not admit to which one....

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComics.mpl

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

:) (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/picturesoftheday/7770914/Pictures-of-the-day-27-May-2010.html?image=5)

[Jack Flanders]

www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/10/hitchcocks-thats-what=the_n_607689.html

Hitch - who knew?!!

[brightpearl]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/southern_half.png

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

More than 180 craftsmen and folk artists from Slovakia and abroad demonstrates the eyes of visitors to fifty kinds of crafts.

there's more of this nonsense (http://csmag.saske.sk/index.php?link=social_events#trip)

[Frieda]

^first thing that caught my eye there was "old-Slavic Gods of natural resources"

i wonder if they are related to Anoia, the Discworld goddess of things that get stuck in drawers. :p

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

^ Heh :D Those old Slavs would believe in practically anything so I wouldn't be too surprised...

[lukkucairi]

graphic designers don't want to do you any favors (http://www.familybiking.com.tw/lost_cat.html)

[funkytuba]

graphic designers don't want to do you any favors (http://www.familybiking.com.tw/lost_cat.html)

Here's the original: http://27bslash6.com/missy.html

I'm having problems getting the site to come up currently, I think he's getting slammed, as this very funny piece is making the rounds.

[trisherina]

...Thanks, Ysa, now it makes me feel a lot better.

edited to add: - at first I felt was just a little better, and then I felt really bad again so I cried, and then I started feeling a little better again, enough to receive Ysa's empathy, which then opened the aperture for more comfort, and then I felt a lot better and more resolved to look on the bright side. Ysa's note has been very instrumental indeed to my present equilibrium. My respect for her as a generous entity is once again validated. Thank you.

And I also respect ironicgoose's candor, his quite understandable lack of empathy for a complete stranger notwithstanding.

This blow-by-blow account has been brought to you by
http://a2.vox.com/6a00c2252d9b358e1d0100a7f9d482000e-500pi

[Klynne]

It was a time management course, it was seven hours long. Seriously? I would think a time management course should take all of an hour.

[MoJoRiSin]

you've come a long way baby!

: )

[Brynn]

This first:
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qQdndGfF2C0&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qQdndGfF2C0&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

Then this:
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hMtZfW2z9dw&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hMtZfW2z9dw&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[MoJoRiSin]

Google this for an old joke you have heard....

st peter heaven and hell joke yesterday you were a customer today you are a client

[funkytuba]

Brynn: the autotune version has been going through my head over and over and over and over and over, especially this part

you don't have to come and confess, we all lookin for you
we gon FIIIIND you
we gon FIND you

[Jack Flanders]

Picking out the drivers on I-80/90 this afternoon in Ohio that would be pulled over for speeding. I scored 100%!! hahah!! dumbasses!! You need something to do while driving across Ohio. Oh but I did wave, Marcus. You betch ya!

[Brynn]

I'm sorry. I've got to post this one too.

<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/v4heeD4B4cw&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/v4heeD4B4cw&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

[Marcus Bales]

Picking out the drivers on I-80/90 this afternoon in Ohio that would be pulled over for speeding. I scored 100%!! hahah!! dumbasses!! You need something to do while driving across Ohio. Oh but I did wave, Marcus. You betch ya!

That was you? Sorry, the regimental tie kept me from waving, um, anything appropriate.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Why did the chicken commit suicide?


To get to the other side.

[Bman]

Why did the chicken commit suicide?


To get to the other side.

wow

[Brynn]

^that's great.

[trisherina]

I keep coming back to this
http://www.brooklynvegan.com/img/music2/oderusgirlfriend.jpg

"Years ago, this used to be all orange groves...far as the eye could see..."

[brightpearl]

http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/infinite_motivational_posterp1.gif

Nice poster you got here, hate to see it closed....

[Brynn]

Kid calls 911 for help with math (http://www.wimp.com/kidmath/)

[Brynn]

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vScyzSFpnXk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vScyzSFpnXk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

(Jacks - not an exact duplicate!)

[Frieda]

having another 2-day training for the programme, there were muffins and donuts presented in the meeting room. someone passed the tray around, i did not take one, then my colleague J. said:
"i'm going to eat your muffin too!"

he even managed to make it worse by saying that he usually doesn't like muffins (he's gay).

never laughed so hard on a monday morning at 9 am :D

[Odbe]

http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/dc31e52a-9901-4996-ba33-7789d80d0436.jpg

[Brynn]

^ har har har !:D

[Brynn]

Sartre publishes "The Wall" on his facebook wall. (http://htmlgiant.com/web-hype/sartre-publishes-the-wall-on-his-facebook-wall/)

[brightpearl]

I dunno, I feel jejune as sh*t all the time. (http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/adjectives.png)

[Bman]

http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/design_changes/8.png

[trisherina]

Bonjour! Je m’appelle Souris. J’ai 13 ans. Voici mon chien Katie. Elle est 11 ans. Mon chien a des disquettes oreilles et quatre pattes. Elle est intelligente, loyale, et timide. Katie aime en cours d’exécution. Elle a besoin alimentaire, l’eau, et attention.

[Klynne]

My friend had a death in her family today. Her grandmother died at 97 years old, so it was not unexpected, but still, she was very close to her. I told her that I would pray for her, but not in the uppity way that some people tell you "I will pray for you" if they think you are going to hell. She laughed and said, "Yep, I have dealt with that before" She told me, that when she was newly employed for one company, and was meeting the whole staff, a woman approached her and asked her if she had found Jesus. She asked "Is Jesus really missing, he was just here a minute ago" . Well, besides that woman, the rest of the staff laughed. She never made friends with that woman.

[lukkucairi]

Man Wearing Breathalyzer Costume Arrested for DUI (http://www.bestweekever.tv/2010-11-03/man-in-breathalyzer-costume-arrested-for-dui/)

[brightpearl]

Hee hee hee.
This is the kind of story I love. A real, print magazine called Cook's Source totally lifted a blog article without the author's knowledge or consent. They admitted it, but when she asked for a donation to her alma mater in return, they sent a really nasty reply, basically saying she should be thankful for their help, because they edited her piece so well. So she blogged about it, of course. (http://illadore.livejournal.com/30674.html)

Just reading an email of such hubris is entertaining in itself, but what's really funny is the resulting comments on Cook's Source facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cooks-Source-Magazine/196994196748).

They nearly made me shoot tea out my nose.

Ah, justice.

[Frieda]

overheard while in the hospital, a male gay nurse with a dandy voice taking care of a huge surinam lady in a room across the hall--

so ma'm, shall we give you a little cleanup here? after that you can take a rest. i can't take a rest just yet, i still have to wait till midnight. and then i have to walk my doggie! oh i love my doggie. i love my doggie more than my husband. do you have any pets? oh chickens? to eat..?


oh i guess you had to be there :rolleyes:

[trisherina]

:)

[MoJoRiSin]

(chuckle mind you, chuckle)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Generally speaking, if a
Human being never shows
anger, then I think some-
thing's wrong.
He's not right in the brain."
~The Dalai Lama

[lukkucairi]

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KYsP8BSvqtg?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KYsP8BSvqtg?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[Bman]

Bird bath and beyond.

[Marcus Bales]

Bed Bugs and Beyond

[lukkucairi]

Him: They are making cars now with engine components that can be grown. Which means super-light engines that can run on biodiesel."

Me: That's good news. Except of course if someone crashes at a high speed with another green engine, both drivers will be crunched up and crumpled like a piece of tin foil.

Him: I suppose it's possible.

Me: According to Mythbusters (http://forum.mythbustersfanclub.com/index.php?action=printpage;topic=15495.0), even a bug hitting a motorcyclist at a certain speed in a certain vulnerable area of the throat can kill you.

Him: If you happen to be hit by a certain rare African beetle that is four inches in diameter at that exact area in the throat while riding a motorcycle, yes, it could happen. (Pauses as he thoughtfully sips his coffee). By the way, if anyone ever comes at you to hurt you, hit them right here. (He taps the hollow of his throat).

Me: Yes. Puncture them. With my keys in my fist.

Him: Or anything. Your fingers.

Me: My thumb.

Him: Yes.

Me: Then they won't be able to breathe. But do I really want to kill someone just because they want my purse?

Him: (He shrugs) They wouldn't die. They would have a lot of trouble breathing. Might need an emergency tracheotomy though.

Me: I don't think I could hit them there that hard. But if I did, then I would have to call 911 for him. He'd be lying on the ground and I would have to reassure him. (Glancing down over the edge of the breakfast table at an imaginary attacker on the ground) "Just lie quietly. You've been injured. Help is on the way."

Him: Or he might run away in a panic.

Me: Or get really really mad at me. Then I'd be in real trouble.

Him: That's why you have to hit him like you mean it.

Me: Then when he's writhing in pain on the ground, I could lie to him and say "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hit you that hard. Just relax. You're going to need a professional tracheotomy. You're lucky I'm nice enough to call an ambulance. I probably won't even need to press charges because I've already punished you enough myself, so please don't be mad and obsess over this when you go to prison for something else."

Him: (Stares at me briefly, puts a hand on my shoulder and says kindly) I've got to go to work now. I'm glad we've rehearsed this - in case it ever happens.

well done :D

[Brynn]

<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/X3iFhLdWjqc?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/X3iFhLdWjqc?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

qiviut -... The winners are awarded custody of the qiviutanga, a ceremonial pig, which they are required to massage daily with coconut oil for the next two years...

yet another game one hates to win...

[Frieda]

http://beardbeanie.com/buy/bs/sm/1.jpg

http://beardbeanie.com/products.html

[MoJoRiSin]

:D beard beanie :D

[Large Marge]

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/8075/gingerbreadcrackhouse.jpg (http://img525.imageshack.us/i/gingerbreadcrackhouse.jpg/)

Gingerbread Crackhouse

[lukkucairi]

my dick in a box - regarding the funeral of Richard Nixon

:D

[MoJoRiSin]

myself

[Brynn]

Hubble Kaleidoscope (http://www.theonion.com/articles/hubble-kaleidoscope-finds-evidence-of-space-lookin,2484/)

[Jack Flanders]

:D

snort!

[Frieda]

Too much lunch will kill you :D

:D

[brightpearl]

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/19416924" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/19416924">Evolution Made Us All</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user832355">Ben Hillman</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

[12"razormix]

.
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgaxskM3vQ1qzdi59o1_r1_500.jpg

[Coffee]

"Mother Theresa" and "Lamprey Eel" in the same lyric sentence made my day.

ty Pearly :)

[brightpearl]

^That is exactly the part that made me laugh so hard! I have a soft spot for revolting animals. And Mother Teresa of course. :D

[brightpearl]

God, I can so relate.

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lggtk4os4a1qzz0iho1_500.jpg

Twix really are delicious.

[Coffee]

^I am guessing she was initially opposed to the marriage, but the grandchild won over her heart in the end.

[brightpearl]

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lFWA1A9XFi8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Brynn]

clicky (http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2011/03/04/hello-is-it-me-youre-looking-for)

[Brynn]

From the Dictionary Game...
"Langobard Oliphant Chuckerbutty"

[Coffee]

"(mio(sic) never proofreads)"

:D I'm sure no one hardly ever notices :p

[Brynn]

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vciwZjo3oXQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Brynn]

60 Completely unusable stock photos (http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/60-completely-unusable-stock-photos)
Some of these need captions.

[Brynn]

I got this random message on FB the other day. This was our exchange:

***** March 29 at 1:42pm
Hi Brynn, Debbie said to ask for your help I think I have a viris cant spell it sorry and I dont know what to do cant tell my husband cause he will be mad at me xx can you help in any way love ***** xxxxx

Brynn March 29 at 4:51pm
You want to talk about it by email?

Brynn March 30 at 5:57pm
*****, are you okay? Have you been to the doctor? Are you talking about HPV/cervical cancer? Why did Debbie tell you to ask me? But the gestation for that can be years, and 70% of all American males already have it. I just shot a medical video about that.

Brynn March 30 at 5:58pm
And the reason I suggested email is because Facebook does not guarantee privacy - in fact, they own all of our correspondence.

***** March 30 at 11:56pm Report
Oh Brynn, you are so lovely, there is nothing wrong with me. It is a problem with the computer, but I think it has gone away now. thankyou for being so caring, when you have never met me, Love ***** xxxxxxxxxx

Brynn March 31 at 1:50pm
LOL! You mean a computer virus!!! LMAO! I thought ...oh, never mind.
Thank you, that made my day. And I'm glad it's just a computer virus.

[MoJoRiSin]

^ :D

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="1280" height="750" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_rJRhR_VMYQ?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
hold out for the last sentence : )

[MoJoRiSin]

when i was around twelve or thirteen in 1968 or so
it became very popular to for teens to put posters on their walls
and every mall had a poster store and something many teens were buying to put on their walls were cardboard
raoad signs including "STOP" etc,.....
well what made me chuckle earlier is that i never conciously
thought of buying one and there is a good chance my parents bought it as a joke for me (secondary to my personality at the time) but for Christmas one of my presents was a big yellow
trianglish sign "YIELD" sign
anyway i ask my mother later why did you get me that
and she claimed that she heard me talking in my sleep as
she was passing my room super late at night
say
"I want a yield sign"
so in relation to my vivid dream of the sea Turtle swimming
behind me when i was six
oh well... you would have to be in my head........
to get it:)

[MOPEDER]

<object width="960" height="750"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XywB0kOp2FM?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XywB0kOp2FM?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="960" height="750"></embed></object>

[lukkucairi]

*SPLORT* (http://xkcd.com/879/)

[brightpearl]

Took me a minute. (http://xkcd.com/884/)

[MoJoRiSin]

http://www.newyorkerstore.com/newyorkerstore/ebiz/newyorkerstore/invt/137122

[Frieda]

2 things:

1. getting a spam email from " Donald Duck "

2. my boss calling me from the car and telling me he just went to get a haircut and the hairdresser put something in his hair, and every time he opens the window of his car he smells a whiff of coconut.

[MoJoRiSin]

[QUOTE=Frieda;207647/"cast no. 2"QUOTE]
(one character ???)

[MoJoRiSin]

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MacBook Air from Apple® - Choose from 11- and 13-inch models.
Starts at just $999.
11-inch model - 13-inch model - Long-Lasting Battery - Mac Student Discount
store.apple.com/macbook-ai

[/COLOR]"]((maybe next year?))

[MOPEDER]

http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/0/5/1/6/6/3/9/Burger-Chef-and-Jeff-48146067344.png

[MOPEDER]

http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/0/5/1/6/6/3/9/Eat-Here-and-Get-Gas-48235470675.jpeg

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

pee in a pond (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/8582593/Eight-million-gallons-of-water-drained-from-reservoir-after-man-urinates-in-it.html)

and what do they do if a bird poops into it? :rolleyes:

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Packaging is the new Product .

[MOPEDER]

http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/0/5/1/6/6/3/9/adultswithimaginaryfriends12-48872022796.jpeg

[Coffee]

^That made me belly laugh.

[Brynn]

sigh.

[MOPEDER]

http://www.twistappel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/ronald-mcdonald-doesnt-like-wendys.gif#wendy%27s%20gif

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

http://www.walsinghamvillage.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/squirrel.jpg

[Frieda]

^ with a foreword from the prince of wales! Is he a subject matter expert?

[Frieda]

my bulgarian housekeeping lady lecturing me in awful dutch on the fact that dutch people don't stop working when they're home:

"you type, type on laptop, always type, neighbor laptop, friend laptop, you laptop, you always tired in head, not sport tired but work tired in head all the time, turn off laptop when home and do fun things!"

[MoJoRiSin]

*what wehave here is a when when situation*

[Frieda]

http://www.froot.nl/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/dit-lijkt-nergens-op-590x442.jpg

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Simon's cat comic strip (http://www.mirror.co.uk/fun-games/simons-cat/2011/08/01/simon-s-cat-the-daily-mirror-cartoon-strip-1st-august-2011-115875-23312613/) clickable strip

[MoJoRiSin]

"For some reason, CAN IT as an answer for the clue “Restraining order?” made me laugh, and I always like seeing EGRESSES in the grid because it reminds me of the P.T. Barnum story essentially proving his maxim that there is a sucker born every minute. Barnum’s American Museum was so popular that people would spend the entire day there. This cut into profits, as the museum would be too full to squeeze in another person. In his inimitable style, Barnum put up signs that said “This Way to the Egress.” Many customers followed the signs, not realizing that egress was a fancy word for exit, and not a sign for some exotic, new attraction. Some of the patrons followed the signs right out the door, and once they had left the building, the door locked behind them. If they wanted to get back in, they had to pay another admission charge. I like to reflect upon that story as one of the things that helped make America great."
~copy and pasted from nyt wordplay

[xfox]

^my Mom told me that one. Not exactly funny but large rain drops were falling and the leaves of my weeping cherry tree at my patio door were dancing.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

The Collector's Guide to Recycling

:D

[12"razormix]

http://www.froot.nl/wp-content/uploads/vol-met-katten-froot13-590x354.jpg
hahahahaha!

[Frieda]

http://www.froot.nl/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/sarcastische-aanpassingen-borden_013.jpg

[Frieda]

http://i55.tinypic.com/v5lphk.jpg

[MoJoRiSin]

http://www.bizarrocomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Bz-panel-08-25-11.jpg

[MOPEDER]

http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/0/5/1/6/6/3/9/Fat-and-ugly-54649451612.png

[Bman]

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqptc0ookW1qaaowno1_500.png

[MOPEDER]

http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/0/5/1/6/6/3/9/Moms-logic-54961029327.jpeg

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/8735926/One-in-25-business-leaders-could-be-a-psychopath.html

[brightpearl]

These rave reviews. (http://www.amazon.com/Breguet-Complications-Tourbillon-5335BR-9W6/product-reviews/B002T4V3W4/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_recent?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending)

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

^ :D

[Brynn]

I like the snitty comment from the guy who posted it in the first place, too. Thank you brightpearl, that was hilarious.

[Frieda]

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/474/moodring.jpg

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

A laugh from Friday:

My students gave me this puzzle:

Mom is 21 years older than her kid. In 6 years she will be 5 times older than her kid.
The question is: Where is Dad now?

It does have an answer.



X+21 = Y
(X+6) × 5 = (Y+6)
(X+6) × 5 = ((X+21) + 6)
5X + 30 = X + 27
4X = - 3
X = - 3 / 4
Heh.

[Brynn]

Dysfunctional Family Circus (http://dfc.furr.org/archive/7.html)

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

awkward family pet photos (http://awkwardfamilypetphotos.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Pet-Noir-566p-711x1024.jpg) and others on the site

[Brynn]

^ Oh dear. Thread Killer's Thread. :D

[brightpearl]

Hahahhahahhahaha.

Copernicus the Homicidal Monkey. (http://thebloggess.com/2011/07/would-you-like-to-buy-a-monkey/)

Hahahahhahahhaha.

[Frieda]

Once upon a time there was light in my life
but now there's only lunch in the dark

:D