Post something that made you laugh today.

[Smartypants]

smarty's sheepskin crack

That was picture of JT's crack with the sheepskin, not mine!!

...OOOOHH, you mean the crack ABOUT the sheepskin! I get it! :p

[Audreyvgs]

hahahahahhah ^^^^that

[madasacutsnake]

Spending half an hour getting a headache flicking through WW2 tomes to answer CJ then getting up and falling over them.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

That was picture of JT's crack with the sheepskin, not mine!!

...OOOOHH, you mean the crack ABOUT the sheepskin! I get it! :p

*ponders the wisdom of starting an "it's a rude remark" thread as a companion to the "it's a donkey" thread*

[Jack Flanders]

i just turned 16, my bday was a few weeks ago
u?
lol
u 16? lolololololah cough

[priceyfatprude]

*ponders the wisdom of starting an "it's a rude remark" thread as a companion to the "it's a donkey" thread*Do or do not. There is no try.

[Smartypants]

^^^ PFP = Party F. Pooper :(

[JesusTitties]

u 16? lolololololah cough

yeah is that 2 old?!? how old r u?

[JesusTitties]

the song "Ass like that" by Eminem.

Can someone, anyone, please dl that song right now and look up the lyrics on google and follow along with the words. I laugh every time i hear it.

[JesusTitties]

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/1435/846c4725fb651d7d3796f2d1900d15.jpg

[topcat]

Artist: Eminem
Album: Encore
Title: Ass Like That




[Chorus]
The way you shake it, I can't believe it
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it, you make my pee pee go
Doing, doing, doing

I don't believe it, it's almost too good to be true
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it, you make my pee pee go
Doing, doing, doing

The way she moves she's like a belly dancer
She's shaking that ass to that new nelly jam, I
Think someones at the door
But I don't think I'm gonna answer
Police saying "freeze"
Doing, doing, doing
What do you mean freeze?
Please, I'm a human being, I have needs
I'm not done, not till I'm finish peeing
I am not resisting arrest, I am agreeing Mr. Officer
I'm already on my knees
I can't get on the ground any further, it's impossible for me
And do not treat me like a murderer, I just like to pee, pee, pee
Yes, I make r&b, I sing song it go
Ring-a-chong, a-ching-chong-chong-chong-ching
Psych, I joke, I joke, I kidd, I kidd
If I offend I'm sorry, please, please forgive
For I am Triumph, the puppet dog, I am a mere puppet
I can get away with anything I sing, you will love it

[Chorus]

Jessica Simpson, looks oh so temptin'
Nick I ain't never seen an ass like that
Everytime I see that show on MTV my pee pee goes
Doing, doing, doing

Mary-Kate and Ashley used to be so wholesome
Now they're getting older, they're starting to grow bum bums
I go to the movies and sit down with my pop corn
Police saying "freeze"
Doing doing doing
What do you mean freeze?
Geez, I just got my seat
I have ticket, look, I put away my zip-reciept
Please do not remove me from this movie theater please




CLICK ABOVE TO VISIT OUR SPONSORS


I did not even get to see Mary-Kate shower scene
I didn't mean to be obscene or make a great big scene
And don't treat me like I'm pee wee herman, this movies PG
Mr. Officer, I demand to see my attorney
I will simply plead innocent, cop a plea and be free
Free, yes, free, right back on the streets
What you mean my lawyer's with Michael, he's too busy?
I am Triumph, Britney Spears has shoulders like a man
And I can say that and you'll laugh cuz that is a puppet on my hand

[Chorus]

Hilary Duff is not quite old enough so
I ain't never seen a butt like that
Maybe next year I'll say ass and she'll make my pee pee go
Doing, doing, doing

The way she moves she dances like a go-go
In that video she sings get out your poles, so
I need a new boyfriend, hi my name is JoJo
Police saying "freeze"
Doing, doing, doing
What do you mean freeze?
My computers would be seized and my keys to my ranch
I just baked cookies Mr. Officer, looky, take a whiff of these
Here, I make Jesus juice, take a sip of this
Nobody is safe from me, no not even me
I don't even know if I can say the word pee pee, pee
On the radio, but I think I did
Janet, is that a breast, I think I just saw a tit
Psych, I joke, I joke, I kidd, I kidd
I don't think my joke is working, I must flee quick
Get to the chopper, everybody get out
I am not Triumph, I am Arnold, get down

[Chorus]

So Gwen Stefani, will you pee pee on me please?
I ain't never seen an ass like that
Cuz the way you move it, you make my pee pee go
Doing, doing, doing

**** is wrong with you? (ha!)

[JesusTitties]

//

[rmr]

http://tinypic.com/do40b6.jpg

[craig johnston]

some people are very easily amused

[rmr]

^^ you laughed a little -- admit it!!!

[Jack Flanders]

some people are very easily amused
hey yoga - that was fking :D :D :D :D

rmr cool

[JesusTitties]

http://ualuealuealeuale.ytmnd.com/

can someone please just watch this with sound on

[Max Headroom]

It's open season on cougars (http://www.urbancougar.com/)

[rmr]

^^ i take it you fell of the wagon -

[Max Headroom]

ha ha, no, a friend of mine sent that to me with the caption "It's not porn dude!!"

Day 9 and I'm still going strong...

[rmr]

good for you max!!

it's good to have goals!!

[Max Headroom]

Thank you....

In other news I've been going to the gym a lot more these days...

[Jack Flanders]

holey moley batman! can't sing, can't dance, looks like you've got ants in your pants

[surflugen]

I came into work today to find this as my desktop background. Nice!
http://mysite.verizon.net/res1trdv/surf/MarknFinX.jpg

[Smartypants]

^^^ OMG, Audrey!! How the hell did you hack into Mark's computer?? :p

[surflugen]

Funny thing is, Audrey is the first person I thought of too.

[Smartypants]

I started this thread and even though I almost never post here anymore I still like come around and see how it is progressing. This is one of the most successful threads I have ever started on a message board. It's probably lasted so long because I don't post in it ;)

ROFL!!

[smellyrayzin]

http://images14.fotki.com/v221/photos/5/56477/249829/1125731555388-vi.jpg

[Hermione]

i love the show on vh1 with adrien and peter brady. good stuff

[Jack Flanders]

Greg: Marcia - need help with the breast exam? :cool: :cool: never mind you look happy .. happy .. happy oh sorry isn't that partridge family? omg blech
OMG it was the COWSILLS (wasn't it??) baarrff. :eek:

[Hyakujo's Fox]

http://images14.fotki.com/v221/photos/5/56477/249829/1125731555388-vi.jpg

okay, that's disturbing

[craig johnston]

This, from my favourite football site:

'I thinking for linking play build up face, Chrouch being very good is he. Also thinking for Joaquin playing very well for Betis. Thinking we should buying Jouquin get, because he would improving Liverpool more than any other players would getting in. Joaquin on right of winger, would scarying all of our opponents having dealing with him, ox-liking Gerrard, unprectable Garcia, fraekly Chrouch and pacyness Cisse. And we also having many option more defensive central midfielders playing both Sissoko mayby back up for Gerrard And we having also Hamann and Alonso both more anchorrole having both have. Therefore our footbaling gets better if we getting better players for right whinging our flank down the right side doing, cuz Joaquin is just that good.'

:D

[Marcus Bales]

'I thinking for linking play build up face, Chrouch being very good is he. Also thinking for Joaquin playing very well for Betis. Thinking we should buying Jouquin get, because he would improving Liverpool more than any other players would getting in. Joaquin on right of winger, would scarying all of our opponents having dealing with him, ox-liking Gerrard, unprectable Garcia, fraekly Chrouch and pacyness Cisse. And we also having many option more defensive central midfielders playing both Sissoko mayby back up for Gerrard And we having also Hamann and Alonso both more anchorrole having both have. Therefore our footbaling gets better if we getting better players for right whinging our flank down the right side doing, cuz Joaquin is just that good.'



Well, who can disagree with that?

[craig johnston]

well, if it means scarying all of our opponents i'm all for it.
whatever it is.
:)

[dinzdale]

Ah dey do doh dont dee doh.

Typical Mickey.

[craig johnston]

the ox-liking dinz
;)

[JesusTitties]

http://img387.imageshack.us/img387/5292/5435666or.jpg

[jasmina]

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/THE%20HUNGER.jpg.

[novelty]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v208/bevelheadgrl/cellphoneSign.jpg

[JesusTitties]

http://poststuff4.entensity.net/091905/media.php?media=exam.wmv (this is pretty funny)

[Frieda]

http://207.150.180.28/cache/contest/contestcache.asp?contest_id=7338&display=photoshop

[craig johnston]

those naughty gambian football fans (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4270156.stm)

:D

[craig johnston]

http://www.tleaf.net/berlinalepix/bc_berlinale_party_108X.jpg

:eek:

[trisherina]

"Well, geesh. Don't they know something there about psychology, or psychiatry, or something?"

-- my puzzled dad

[Frieda]

http://www.lachvandedag.com/2005/mei/hondse-kattenbak_lachvandedag-nl.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

here's something for all you ze monkeys[IMG]

you only need to open one attatchment they're the same image :D

[Jack Flanders]

[B]Become a Better Liar

1) First of all, minimize your lies.
-If you lie all the time. people will never believe you.

2) Try to cry while you're lying.
-Everyone believes someone who's crying.

3) Always swear to god.
-Not God with a "G"...you'll be punished severely! Little "g" god can mean
Zeus or Poseidon or Money.

4) Emphasize each word.
-(e.g. I....SWEAR....TO....gOD!!!)

5) Break something (a dish or vase)
-If you detect that the listener is even remotely doubting you.

6) Always say: "Ask so-and-so. They'll back me up on this."
-Be sure to name your best friend, though. Best friends always side with
you whether you're lying or not.

7) Plan out your lie ahead of time.
-Never ad lib, you'll stutter.

8) Never stutter!!

9) Don't take chances on lies that can be easily researched.

10) Stick to your lie NO MATTER WHAT!!!

11) Try going to law school.

You can make good money, too!

[bealeblues]

damn. i've only used #11. guess that's why i never get away with anything.

[smellyrayzin]

http://images14.fotki.com/v223/photos/5/56477/249829/orgasm-vi.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

damn. i've only used #11. guess that's why i never get away with anything.
funny thing is i thought of you when i read this list.

[Avalon]

this pic always make me laughhttp://img77.imageshack.us/img77/699/handsonbfw9et.jpg

[NimbleMarmoset]

the definite answer (http://static.flickr.com/32/49073110_364fbfc09f_o.jpg)

edited: to protect innocent eyes

[Jack Flanders]

the definite answer (http://static.flickr.com/32/49073110_364fbfc09f_o.jpg)

edited: to protect innocent eyes
OMG!!! :D :D :D :D

He's kind of cute! I mean his face. ;)

[priceyfatprude]

Me, to Wolfgang: Get your furry little ass out here & poop!

My mom: Who are you talking to?

Me, stifling a laugh: The DOG!!!

[Jack Flanders]

the definite answer (http://static.flickr.com/32/49073110_364fbfc09f_o.jpg)

edited: to protect innocent eyes
Looks like this got "covered up"!

[trisherina]

"John Joly of Dublin strenuously insisted well into the 1930s that the Earth was no more than eighty-nine million years old, and was stopped only then by his own death."

-- Bill Bryson

[Frieda]

http://pics.livejournal.com/insertnamehere2/pic/0005pd67

[trisherina]

You may not feel outstandingly robust, but if you are an average-sized adult you will contain within your modest frame no less than 7 X 10¹⁸ joules of potential energy -- enough to explode with the force of thirty very large hydrogen bombs, assuming you knew how to liberate it and really wished to make a point.

-- Bill Bryson

[xfox]

Alcor (http://www.alcor.org/) in Phoenix for a good ol' fashion October creep feeling. Better to laugh!

[NimbleMarmoset]

http://static.flickr.com/28/52172617_e20727cc45_o.jpg

[madasacutsnake]

Old fellow, mad as a meat axe, at the home, fiddling around with various stuff in his room.

Snake: What you got there Sid?

Sid: Dementia

[Avalon]

:p

http://www.strangenewproducts.com/uploaded_images/boob-earmuffs.jpg

[Frieda]

^^^ nope, can't hear you.. there's a tit in my ear :p :D

[karma_queen]

my semi date left me for a dancing midget. last night i was pissed off. today i can laugh

[madasacutsnake]

Watching your dad get overheated and informing the uniformed official holding your passports that their country's foreign policy is a crock of shit may work well as a dinner party anecdote a few years down the track once they've let you out of Guantanamo Bay, but it's probably for the best if you can impress on him the value of a zipped lip and a strategic smile. (http://escape.news.com.au/story/0,9142,16882213-28237,00.html)

[smellyrayzin]

emo oranges (http://emooranges.ytmnd.com/)

hahahahhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Frieda]

my manager leaning against my office wall.. then noticing his hand is exactly in the place of a half naked Hasselhoff pic..

the look on his face! :D

[karma_queen]

jesustitties' jude law post on the hot guy thread

[Avalon]

Poor Phil Spector..and it isn't even officially Halloween.. He looks like someone's crazy grandmother to me. Dresses like one too. :eek:

http://www.courttv.com/graphics/photos/trials/spector/inside/lede/spector-inside-102705.jpg
Spector had a subdued hairdo and a subdued expression on his face when he arrived in court Thursday. He wore a tan three-piece suit and knee-length jacket, a silver dragonfly brooch on his lapel, and black boots with three-inch heels.

[smellyrayzin]

<3 JT

[trisherina]

.The first rule of book club is "no-one talks about book club".

[madasacutsnake]

Flood of Biblical proportions
By NICK HENDERSON
09nov05

THE rain may not have lasted for 40 days and 40 nights but Joseph, Mary and the Baby Jesus probably would have liked the help of the Ark yesterday.

Floodwaters which inundated the River Torrens swept the Christmas trio from their stable, which is part of SA Brewing's Christmas display on the riverbank.

They were joined by an aquatic friend - whale Moby Dick made an uncertain start to his swim before mastering the art of riding the waves. He reached Underdale before beaching in the debris, leaving SA Brewing staff the difficult task of plucking him from the torrent.

Tom Keller, 22, of Ottoway, could not believe his eyes when he saw the giant whale floating down the river - with a pair of boxing kangaroos not far behind.

Mr Keller decided to rescue them from a watery grave.

"The whale is sort of in its place in the water, but the kangaroos look a bit weird. We were also thinking about getting wet towels to save the whale because we were worried about it being beached," he said. SA Brewing regional manager Mark Haysman said the company was still searching for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. "There is grave concern for the safety of Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus as water has swamped their stable," Mr Haysman said.

[Smartypants]

http://www.sisterrandy.com/comics/s031.jpg
http://www.sisterrandy.com/comics/s032.jpg

[priceyfatprude]

"I’m in this crossroads of losing the same thirty pounds I’m always either gaining or losing. It’s a weird bridge, this thirty pounds, between three sizes of pants and two cup sizes, the difference between a t-shirt that fits just so and a baggy loose neckline. The thirty pounds drunk dials me, wanting to get back together, whispering that no one has ever been as good in bed as I was. The thirty pounds can’t stop listening to Dashboard Confessional and it sends me flowers and like a chump, I fall for it every time, because the flowers are chocolate flowers, with peanut butter stems and the vase is made of fried chicken. Thirty pounds, it’s not you, it’s me."

[karma_queen]

dick van dykes tan in diagnosis murder

http://images.art.com/images/-/Dick-Barry-Van-Dyke---Diagnosis-Murder--C10048355.jpeg

[craig johnston]

my brazilian gynocologist friend who, in a discussion about food, asked;

'what do i say when i want whore?'
'huh?'
'you know, when i have a steak and i want whore'
'???'
'it can be well-done, medium or whore'

:)

and the graphic gesture which accompanied him saying 'i.u.d.'

:D

[Frieda]

dick van dykes tan in diagnosis murder

http://images.art.com/images/-/Dick-Barry-Van-Dyke---Diagnosis-Murder--C10048355.jpeg


CAMEL TOE!

[12"razormix]

eeeeeeeeeeewwwwww MAN camel toe! :D

[AllegroNg]

Part of a coupon I found today..


http://www.procter.se/highres/jpg150/pampers/KANDOO_TUB_FRONT_150.JPG

[melissa]

That frog is wiping his ass!

[madasacutsnake]

<img src=http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/868/861/320/sammy.jpg>

I have asthma.

[smellyrayzin]

eeeeeeeeeeewwwwww MAN camel toe! :D

tis an almond joy (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=almond+joy)!

[trisherina]

.3. almond joy

a person who is only attractive sometimes.

John Mayer is an almond joy.

[NimbleMarmoset]

http://static.flickr.com/29/61922629_db486bc4a7_o.jpg

[craig johnston]

^^^^^
wtf?!

[Brynn]

^^^^forwarding immediately to spouse :D


[use only for emergencies (http://www.misternicehands.com/)

[dinzdale]

..Craig Johnson admitting he used to wank himself off thinking about a puppet.

HAHAHAHAHA.........etc.....

[craig johnston]

i hadn't discovered that pleasure at the age of 5.
no doubt you were an early starter.....
:rolleyes:

[karma_queen]

there was a foul woman in the supermarket about an hour ago. she seemed to think there were 2 queues, where there was only one, and so tried to get in front of me, with her vile basket full of chicken nuggets and crisps. so i moved to another queue, 'accidentally' pushing her as i went.

i won - i got through faster. it was a small victory, but it made me laugh in a 'ha!' sort of way :)

[Frieda]

awful what's happening, but a pic full of sarcasm:


the weather in france
http://img495.imageshack.us/img495/6088/weatherfrance8tx.jpg

[dinzdale]

..Craig Johnson admitting he used to wank himself off thinking about a puppet.

HAHAHAHAHA.........etc.....

^^^^
my first true love!

:)

QED.

Wanking over a puppet.

[craig johnston]

so, in your world love = wanking?
:confused:

[dinzdale]

It's not? :confused:

[craig johnston]

It's not? :confused:

something that made me laugh today
:)

[madasacutsnake]

So I went for a wee country drive today. I ended up along a kind of weird and spooky dirt track, the kind closed in with trees and which feels cold and creepy at any time of the day. I got to the end, saw this, freaked out, stopped long enough to take a pic and shot through:

<img src=http://images.andale.com/f2/116/113/7110171/1131308525196_crystallake.jpg>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[trisherina]

this (http://www.panexa.com/)

[Jack Flanders]

HAHAHA. Tired of Puppets. Thank you for changing the subject. The creepy tree , sign and unnatural stone wall would make me scream.
Did you find a lake?

[madasacutsnake]

^^

God no. I took off as soon as I got the pic.

Jaaaaaaaaaassssssssssooooooon.

[Marcus Bales]

Human Skateboard: http://dreamchimney.com/oftheday/index.php?date=11.10.105&otd=3

[lapietra]

http://www.markstivers.com/Cartoons/Stivers%2012-12-02%20Knowledge%20is%20power.gif

[§olomon]

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/images2/lilnapandpedro56.jpg

[§olomon]

http://i.somethingawful.com/mjolnir/images/docevil~11-20-05_6.gif

[lapietra]

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERYhandsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just
about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that
I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to
be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says,
"Yes, I'm single and Catholic!
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are! you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and
I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party."

[AllegroNg]

http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?t=8986 !!!!!!!

[Jack Flanders]

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERYhandsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just
about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that
I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to
be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says,
"Yes, I'm single and Catholic!
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are! you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and
I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party."
That made my day!!!!

[lapietra]

That made my day!!!!
Yay! :D

[Jack Flanders]

Check out this site www.myspace.com/hurratorpedo!!!

Rune - are these guys for real? This is really a riot!!

[lapietra]

http://cia.gov/cia/information/bush.html

eta: I keep going back to look at this... this *really* *is* a page on the CIA's site. Not the Onion. CIA. Central Intelligence Agency.

No wonder. No fckuing wonder. *shakes head*

I wuz gonna make a remark like "Center for Intelligence... like, 'Center of Light', like, those who need light should visit".
'kay. Enough creative editing.

[smellyrayzin]

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." --George W. Bush, Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo.

[Jack Flanders]

What???? WTFFFFFF!!!

[§olomon]

http://members.arstechnica.com/x/zuvembi/pink-assless-chaps.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

;)

[Avalon]

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." --George W. Bush, Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo.

Moron :rolleyes:

Hey George..around here a couple of Drs. tried practicing their love with their women patients. ( 1 pediatrician and 2 ob-gyn's to exact oh! and a dentist ) The are now all in the Big House with girfriends named Bubba or Big Al.

[jasmina]

www.jowlers.com

Welcome To Jowlers.com!
This site is a place for you to upload and browse a unique type of photo that we like to call the Jowler. These fun pictures are created when the subject of a photo shakes their head really fast while the picture is taken. So, enjoy these unique expressions and if you feel up to it, take a few of your own and post em up.

[jasmina]

http://www.jowlers.com/jowlers/1919.jpg (http://javascript<b></b>:history.back()).

[priceyfatprude]

The callers at work today. There must be a full moon. Due to HIPAA regulations, I cannot go into detail. But rest assured, there are some crazy ppl out there.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The enhancements implemented in this upgrade include:


new Mandatory fields when creating Opportunities, which will allow Bankers to review details within their funnel with more clarity
&nbsp;

[madasacutsnake]

There must be a full moon.

That was last week. I keep track because it's an occupational hazard.

"Pleeze daaaahling, reeeeng for me 27 Cook St, Edwardstown"

"Look, my wife's waiting for me at home and she'll be worried. Can't somebody take me home?"

"I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear"

"Mother will never let me come here again!"

"Tosh!!!!!!!" (WTF?! I dunno)


"Pleeze daaaahling, reeeeng for me............."

"...........Can't somebody take me home?"

"Mother is going to be really angry............."

"I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear............."

FULL

MOON

MAKE

IT

STOP

[Hyakujo's Fox]

nothing a train ticket to brisbane wouldn't fix

[craig johnston]

the test (http://www.briansprediction.com/thetest.htm)



:rolleyes:

[jasmina]

.

[Smartypants]

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy Christmas season. (http://www.makemethinner.com/files/WizardsofWinter_SM.wmv)

[madasacutsnake]

Holy Cow.

[Avalon]

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/4595/tom5bm.jpg
I love the sender of this card !!!!

[Jack Flanders]

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy Christmas season. (http://www.makemethinner.com/files/WizardsofWinter_SM.wmv)

That was amazing!!! How did they do that?

[brainfix]

The following episode didn't make me laugh as much as wonder what kind of personal pain would cause such behavior.

There is a local eatery and store I frequent becuse it's so convenient to my house and business. On the weekends, the store is run by teens who often space out, have nasty attitudes or treat you like trash.

Today I went to grab a nice leisurely breakfast, read the paper and chill. The girl at the front counter, Megan, is maybe 17, dresses subtle Goth and rarely smiles, thin and tiny, but cute somehow. She is earnestly engaged in bouncing pennies into the penny holder next to the register. She rarely looks up to acknowledge anything.

I order breakfast, grab a paper and sit down. Megan is bouncing her pennies into the cup as I try to concentrate on the paper. The noise permeates the place like a Vegas coin room. I realize I can't take it. I get my food and say to the waitress, "That is incredibly irritating!" as I point to Megan and her mindless pursuit.

A minute or two later, the noise stops. I am so thankful, maybe more so than on Thanksgiving.

I go to pay, Megan gives me a frosty stare, grabs my money and slams the change on the counter. She's about 4'10" and 85 pounds.

Wicked cute girl, but her attitude erased any cuteness she possessed.

[trisherina]

None of the trenchcoat-clad, ear-piece wearing guards could prevent him from being roundly booed, though, and neither could they secure an entertaining first half on the field.
.

[Brynn]

While I was waiting for my food, I said to the waitress, "That is incredibly irritating!" as I pointed to Megan and her mindless pursuit. Megan stopped and disappeared into the kitchen. I heard some strange gutteral noises. She reappeared a few moments later apologetically with my food, all smiles. Breakfast was unusually delicious that morning, and the coffee was free!
:rolleyes:

[madasacutsnake]

Mmmmmmmmmm, cappucino!

[priceyfatprude]

"I'd invite you over to dinner tomorrow night, but I know you're watching your Big Loser show tonight."--my mother

[Jack Flanders]

Mothers!!

[craig johnston]

from a dear friend:

i think i'm getting old. i've started listening to radio 4... at the moment there's a very interesting documentary about potatoes. hmm.

lol! :D

[Brynn]

this (http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/austria.asp)

[Jack Flanders]

Ja, bigger screws are going to keep the signs from being stolen!

[madasacutsnake]

"This set comes already tied with gold ribbon and is ready to be given to that hard-to-buy-for someone on your list or it could be suitable for the office Christmas gift exchange!"

[priceyfatprude]

My little Italian grandmother turns 82 on Friday:

Me: Well, I appreciate the money, but don't send that much! Maybe just half?
PeefNonna: Half! You can't get anything for that! I'm sendin' all of it, then you will be able to have a cushion, do what you want w/it.
Me: Well, if you send that much, that's my Christmas gift, then. No more.
PeefNonna: But I already made out the Christmas cards yesterday!
Me: Well, ok. You can send it.
PeefNonna: Yes, that way you'll have it if something comes up.
Me: Yeah, I do have a birthday this week...
PeefNonna: Ok.

*thinks about it*

PeefNonna: *LOUD GASP* DON'T YOU DARE! That money is for you!
Me: *chuckling* Ok. I promise.



**** her! I'm sending her flowers with half that money she is sending me. Big yellow roses, her favorite. :) Either that, or what my flower shop does is, I give them an amount, and tell them to make a big beautiful bouquet out of whatever they've got lying around the shop, make it $X worth. That way it's a different bouquet every time and not some cookie cutter FTD bouquet. My stepmother loves them.

[ambo]

Aw, I had a nonna too !

[sparticle]

Hi, Ambo -- long time no see!

Okay, here was my giggle for the day:

http://www.puckmonkey.com/media/media2/4kvar.jpg

[dinzdale]

Aw, I had a nooner too !

Good for you girl. :)

[Smartypants]

http://www.pacedesign.com/monkeyfiles/familyguy.jpg

[Brynn]

"Science, unlike theology, never leads to insanity."

Except of course for all those "mad scientists" running amok out there... :D
http://www.wolflodge.org/visibiliti/prophecy/three%20legged%20frog.jpg

[smellyrayzin]

http://www.pacedesign.com/monkeyfiles/familyguy.jpg

hahahahahhahahahaha I LOVE THAT EPISODE!
"He-hello Sally? Hey hey its Peter Griffin ... yeah thats right senior prom yeah its been a while yeah. So ahh listen, I just found out I'm retarded, I'm calling to let you know, ahh you might to get yourself tested. .... Hello?"

[ambo]

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos.

Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.

The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

This is done by a chip monk.









Hi Sparticle !
Oh Dinz :rolleyes:

[Jack Flanders]

HAHAHA!!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

"To women, this movie is akin to a deep-fried chocolate dildo."

[Jack Flanders]

"To women, this movie is akin to a deep-fried chocolate dildo."
OK - who said that and what was the movie?

[craig johnston]

fox said it and he's always right. it's annoying
and boring, but true.
:rolleyes:

[Hyakujo's Fox]

OK - who said that and what was the movie?Wouldn't you like to know.

[craig johnston]

see what i mean?
Freddie flintoooooooofffffffffff!
:)

[Avalon]

How many men really like the movie Pirates of the Caribbean? It's a fairly routine action adventure which is fun but nothing special, after all.

But women. Oh, but women. To women, this movie is akin to a deep-fried chocolate dildo. It's celluliod Spanish fly. I'd recommend the movie to any teen boy hoping to get some action.

:)

[ambo]

yup

[Jack Flanders]

"To women, this movie is akin to a deep-fried chocolate dildo."
Sooo! What was the the frickin movie? :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Hyakujo's Fox]

See Avalon's post. ^^^ :o :o :o

[Frieda]

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/8682/image0017vg.gif

[ambo]

omg, that is too funny !

[Brynn]

Air Force guide to spotting a terrorist (http://www.bobharris.com/content/view/765/1/)

[Jack Flanders]

Hmmm???! Not quite a camel toe, but....

[beckstra]

My sister went as Mary Catherine Ghallager for Halloween. She actually got 1st place at the party we were at because my sister does GREAT impressions, also, she memorized half of the movie and recited it from stage.

(picture on my blog)

[Jack Flanders]

Love your new art and Kristin is so on for the character!!

[Jack Flanders]

I love the Lord of the Rings Trilogy but this is great: and these guys did a lot of the filming in the South Bend IN area where I lived for awhile. These guys are so cool and they had a real small budget but did so much!! It's Monty Python '05!

WWW.dorkoftherings.com

[priceyfatprude]

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/who-let-the-dogs-out.jpg

[ShopaholicChick]

My brother just went to the bathroom and my cat drove head first into the bugerking bag to eat his hash brown..and got stuck..so for about 3 minutes he was going in cicrles backwards int he middle of the floor...trying to get out of the bag...but all the while he was eating hashbrowns...there was none left when he got his head out of the bag LMAO..i know it may not be funny to non-cat owners...but if u have ever seen a cat stuck in a bag trying to eat food...u know how funny it can be

shopaholicchick
http://www.cafepress.com/shopaholicchick

[ambo]

this did (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?t=8511)

[§olomon]

http://j.b5z.net/i/u/2093223/i/Heresto3.jpg

[Avalon]

www.collegehumor.com/movies/1611780/ (http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1611780/)

[Jack Flanders]

Hahahahahahaha!!! Oops - here comes the manager!!!

[§olomon]

http://stb.dreamelement.de/pullmyfinger.jpg

[beckstra]

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2245/288/1600/Jesus%20balloon%20sculpture.jpg

[trisherina]

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/action/large/21107cd.jpg

[smellyrayzin]

That gif smells of bacon.

<3

[madasacutsnake]

"there is some of the good old Australian 'bash-your-friend' as a sign of friendship"

[Smartypants]

Sarah Silverman sings gospel! (http://www.looptvandfilm.com/blog/amazinggrace.mov)

[Bipolarbear]

At my school, every other day the entire school has a sort of study hall for the last hour and a half of the day. My study hall is in the choir room, where there are a lot of chairs arranged on these step things. Today there was a group talking loudly and the same guy kept leaning back and falling from the top row to the bottom row. He fell at least four times, and kept leaning his chair back.

[Jack Flanders]

What a moron. :D :D That made me laugh.

[12"razormix]

In the wake of all the fluvial funereal obsequies that the media attached to Ronald Reagan's earthly departure, I felt obliged to remark that he had been the most overrated president in American history and the second most ignorant.

Then I added -- how could I not? -- guess who is the most ignorant? Half the audience applauded; the other half were outraged and groaned in true patriotic pain. Since George W. is not only a horse's ass, but vain and platitudinous to boot, it can hardly escape us that he is also serving (with all due inner incandescence) as God's chosen envoy for America.

Norman Mailer, here (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/theblog/index/)

[madasacutsnake]

I shouldn't be laughing.

I certainly shouldn't be copying, pasting and posting.

But I am.



does that mean that zero is topcat again?

:confused:

[Avalon]

I shouldn't be laughing.

I certainly shouldn't be copying, pasting and posting.

But I am.
Originally Posted by craig johnston


does that mean that zero is topcat again?

:confused:

HAHAHAHAHAAA.!!..I know this gave T a good laugh .

[madasacutsnake]

From Fig Jam's notes:

I tried to give her a suppository but she fought back.

[Frieda]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2542580036602389550&q=crash

[Smartypants]

Click. (http://homepage.mac.com/onegoodmove2/movies/bushdrunk.mov)

[Jack Flanders]

Click. (http://homepage.mac.com/onegoodmove2/movies/bushdrunk.mov)

Very funny!!! :D :D

[jasmina]

Mysterious appearance of chairs
A few years ago, I went to Brixton Academy one new years eve.

Over the course of the evening, I managed to consume enough pills to reach the usual end result of being a bit of a mess.

I also ended up painted in bright orange body paint, because it just felt sooooo nice.

After dancing all night, the paint had started to run, making my face completely orange.

Towards the end of the night, I decided to have a sit down to sort my head out a bit. I retrieved my jacket from the cloakroom, and staggered across the room, and spotted a free stool just off the dancefloor.

I walked over to it, covered it with my jacket, and then sat down. It was at this point, I realised that it wasn't a chair at all. It was some guy who was probably also trying to sort his head out, sat on the floor with his legs tucked in to his chin.

I jumped up, picked my jacket up, said "sorry mate, I thought you were a chair", and then dissappeared off in to the night.

I always look at the incident from the other guys point of view. He is having a moment to sort his head out, when suddenly a bloke with an orange face, and quite possibly wild staring eyes, walks over, the world goes dark, and then someone sits on him, then promptly dissappears.

From b3ta.com

[craig johnston]

that might have been me.
'94 or so?

:o

[jasmina]

The chair or the narrator?? (I'm guessing chair)

[craig johnston]

either one, but thanks for your support.

;)

[craig johnston]

rmr (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showpost.php?p=295103&postcount=31)

what's it got to do with the zoo?

:)

[priceyfatprude]

"I was watching that Isaac Maserati show today"--my mother


(she means of course the fabulous Isaac Mizrahi)

[Bipolarbear]

Tee hee. :3 (http://www.smartania.com/hotness/gackt5.html)

[§olomon]

http://baraddur.dyndns.org/~starfire/4chan/lack-of-faith.jpg

[§olomon]

http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Funny/splashy-suprise.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

wtf1.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

!

[Brynn]

http://hello.typepad.com/photos/hamptons_film_festival/hello_99_1.jpg

[Bipolarbear]

I am a nerd who likes to participate in message board roleplaying games. I was doing a roleplay with one of those people who really love to use their thesaurus while writing, whether she knows the real meaning of the word or not. And Jade stared into Anika's grinning complexion.

[§olomon]

http://im.dumpalink.com/pics/egfFNkMT.jpg

[priceyfatprude]

http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a563/a563.gif

[ambo]

Do they have one for runner-up ?

[Smartypants]

http://www.filelodge.com/files/124/pastedGraphic.gif

[Brynn]

^Too true to be truly funny :mad:
But entertaining, nonetheless ;)

[Smartypants]

^Too true to be truly funny :mad:
But entertaining, nonetheless ;)
My sentiments exactly.

[Smartypants]

"Ted Stevens, I wish that I could quit you!" (http://homepage.mac.com/onegoodmove2/movies/ds010506cootoff.mov)

ROFL!!! :D

[lapietra]

http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showpost.php?p=295871&postcount=6

[trisherina]

I mean, it's not like she's going to get shocked stares in church :p .
Laughing would be a bit much to ask today, but a smile will do me fine. Thanks, Brynn!

[§olomon]

http://img275.imageshack.us/img275/8495/disappointedbongo5ju.jpg

[madasacutsnake]

Being asked if I "had a problem with street drugs?".

[Avalon]

http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/6045/sowhatdidyoulearninschooltoday.jpg

[craig johnston]

Being asked if I "had a problem with street drugs?".

do you? i know this guy....

[dinzdale]

We were pretty sure you did....

[Jack Flanders]

"Ted Stevens, I wish that I could quit you!" (http://homepage.mac.com/onegoodmove2/movies/ds010506cootoff.mov)

ROFL!!! :D


COOT OFF!!!!!!! :D :D :D

[madasacutsnake]

do you?

The answer was easy.

[trisherina]

RatMan: ...and so I walked in this morning and there was this new guy there that I had to buddy up with and train.

Me: So who is he?

RatMan: His name is Justice.

Me: Single mother!

RatMan: What?

Me: Born to a single mother. I'll bet you twenty bucks, right now! Ask him!

RatMan: I'm not gonna ask him!

Me: Give me his phone number!

RatMan: NO!

[priceyfatprude]

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30
years, reunited at a party. After several drinks,
one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He
started working at a successful company at the bottom
of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business
Administration and soon began to climb the
corporate ladder and now he's the president of the
company. He became so rich that he gave his best
friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son
is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big
airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot.
Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets.
He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet
for his birthday! ."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied
in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he
started his own construction company and is now a
multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice
and expensive to his best friend for his birthday:
A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as
the fourth returned from the restroom and asked:
"What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about
the pride we feel for the successes of our sons.
What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a
living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said:
"What a shame... what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's
my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either.
His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful
30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top
of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

[Smartypants]

In today's e-mail:----/ The Squid List /--------------------------------------------------

The Kinsey Sicks in I Wanna Be A Republican

Thursday, January 19th

8:00pm - 10:30pm

$35

----/ Event Description /-----------------------------------------------

THE KINSEY SICKS, America's Favorite Dragapella Beautyshop Quartet,
perform their critically acclaimed musical extravaganza, "I WANNA BE
A REPUBLICAN," after touring it throughout the US, Canada and Mexico.
These 2 performances are a live film shoot for a Kinsey Sicks feature
documentary and concert film. And you can be part of it! "I WANNA BE
A REPUBLICAN," tackles patriotism, tokenism, family values, war-
mongering and political corruption - all in glorious, four-part
harmony. And while some might object to kicking the administration
while it's down, THE KINSEY SICKS are, thankfully, not among them.

Light dinner is included! 6:30-7:30pm.
21 and over.
Cabaret-style seating, cash bar.
The security team will assist those needing wheelchair access.

Tickets available at http://www.cityboxoffice.com

----/ Venue Info /------------------------------------------------------

Broadway Studios
435 Broadway
San Francisco
415-291-0333
I love this town.

[zenbabe]

J got this email today.

Subject: Hello from russia..


Hello have a good day,
I am not sure where to begin,it is first time I try to use internet to
meet the man but the thing is,that I will work abroad I can choice
USA,Canada or Europe and I would like to meet the man to share free
evenings and be my guide. My friends helped me to send a few letters
to different address and I do hope that I am lucky to meet good and
kind man.you should know that now I live in Russia and my goal is to leave this
country because it is impossible to live here for young pretty woman.they tell I look well
enough,I am blonde with blue eyes,I am natural blonde.I will send a few photos if you reply.
if you don't have wife nor girlfriend ,maybe we could try to meet?
I am free I have not children .and I have not boyfriend here.
I am 25 years old ,please write to me directly
to my mail- fruy1@pochta.ru See you soon ,with great hope

[melissa]

I love sharing free evenings with the man.

[jasmina]

it's certainly better than paying for them

[melissa]

It certainly is.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

It certainly is.I couldn't help but hear this in the voice of Stan Laurel, so naturally I had to read it's certainly better than paying for them with the voice of Ollie, and I love sharing free evenings with the man. with the voice of Stan. :D

[melissa]

:p

[jasmina]

Melissa are you scratching your head right now?

[karma_queen]

today i insulted a pole, who turned out to have an alcoholic father... serious foot in mouth situation

[craig johnston]

a telephone pole?

[Jack Flanders]

I think an ethnic one. Ya gotta be careful what you say to anyone.

[~*WickedAngel*~]

Today I was out having lunch with my fiance and some friends, and one of HIS friends had been staring off into space for the entire lunch. Finally when the check comes, he shouts, "We're teenage enima nurses in bondage!"

[lapietra]

Today I took Merlin to the vet (yes, I have my kitties back with me - YAY!) because he's been suffering from chronic squirty poos :( He's been tested for worms and been on Flagyl so it's not that... prolly IBS which is treatable (he's in good health otherwise).
Anyhoo - the vet examined him and went into his diagnosis and recommendations, amongst which was to have a very expensive blood workup (to make sure Mer doesn't have cancer or something else serious) which I can't really afford (and, to be honest, doesn't seem necessary since he's so glossy and clear-eyed and energetic) and yet I want to do everything I can for the little guy. And talking with the vet some more brought up all these memories of one of my past kitties who I had to have put down because of cancer, that I couldn't afford the surgery for, and I got all verklempt, and was trying to hide it, but it welled up and I got all leaky. The vet went on regardless which didn't help matters because of course he was talking about more things I couldn't afford. Bah.
In the meantime, Mer's been wandering around the room and is now sitting there cleaning himself. Suddenly the vet says, "What a cute tongue you've got there!" I look over at Mer, and he's looking back and forth at both of us, with his tongue about half-way out of his mouth, like he's sticking his tongue out at us. I started laughing, which of course made me stop crying :) Sweet kitty. How do they know?
(I ended up compromising and getting the breathtakingly expensive special food and some steroids... hopefully Mer's squirts will improve).

[Smartypants]

You're part of a community, pissing away your lives...together! (http://homepage.mac.com/onegoodmove2/movies/ds011006dish.mov)

[zenbabe]

hahhahaha, Surf drunk dialed me last night..hahahahhahha! :D

[trisherina]

nostalgia (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?t=2313&page=1&pp=15)

[Smartypants]

You wanna be a terrist? (http://www.blah3.com/article1272.html)

[ambo]

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's Not Unusual."

Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad or maybe my older brother Calvin or my younger brother Ho-Chin. But I'm pretty sure it's Calvin.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to the butcher's the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

[Smartypants]

A man wakes one morning to find his pet duck lying lifeless in the yard. He's very fond of the duck and can't believe it's really dead, so he takes it to the vet and asks to have it examined.

He places the duck on the examination table and asks the vet's opinion.

"I don't know what you want me to tell you, mister," says the vet. "It's pretty obvious that the duck's dead."

The man is too upset to accept the truth. "Are you absolutely sure?" he asks. "How can you know, positively?"

"Well, if it will make you feel better, I could get a couple of other opinions."

"Yes! Anything!" cries the man hopefully.

So the vet leaves the room for a moment and comes back with a large dog who runs up to the table, sniffs at the duck, and seeing that the duck is dead loses all interest and trots out of the room.

The vet goes out again and comes back with a cat. He places it on the table next to the duck, but the cat sniffs around the dead bird for a moment disinterested and then and jumps off the table and out of the room.

"Well, I'm afraid it's confirmed," the vet tells the man. "Your duck is definitely dead."

Sighing sadly, the man thanks the doctor and asks what he owes.

"That'll be $479.00," the vet replies.

"WHAT?!" cries the man. "$479!!?? Just to tell me my duck is dead?!"

"Well," says the vet, "it would have been much cheaper without the lab report and the cat scan."

[zenbabe]

buh dum ching!

[~*WickedAngel*~]

My soon-to-be mother in law ambushed me at the dinner I had last night with my fiance, her, and my soon-to-be father in law. Since my fiance and I are getting married on Halloween of 2007, with a Halloween theme party where everyone comes in costume, she thought it would be fun to have the tablecloths at the reception be orange, and have small dead trees as center pieces.

[Smartypants]

^^ Halloween 2007?? What's your big hurry? :confused:

[Brynn]

http://ammy.fury.com/uploaded_images/UnattendedChildren1-746825.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

^^^ Hahaha! That'll teach 'em!!!!

[ambo]

Oh, I like that !

[Smartypants]

Wed 18th

Would you believe it! Me, Sir Adrian Bollocks, marooned aboard this 75 ft yacht just off the Bahamas. I should never have let Buzz Aldrin steer.

ROFLMAO!! :D

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Q. What has 9 arms and sucks?

A. Def Leppard

[Smartypants]

This Week In God (http://homepage.mac.com/onegoodmove2/movies/ds011606twig.mov)

[LadyCrow]

Q. What has 9 arms and sucks?

A. Def Leppard

I used to be a big DL fan back in the day, & even saw them in concert once. Kicked ass, imo. But still... Ouch!

;)

[LadyCrow]

What made me laugh today? The fact that I woke up early on a Saturday, especially when I didn't have to.

Bleck.

:rolleyes:

[ambo]

Today I took Merlin to the vet (yes, I have my kitties back with me - YAY!) because he's been suffering from chronic squirty poos :( He's been tested for worms and been on Flagyl so it's not that... prolly IBS which is treatable (he's in good health otherwise).
Anyhoo - the vet examined him and went into his diagnosis and recommendations, amongst which was to have a very expensive blood workup (to make sure Mer doesn't have cancer or something else serious) which I can't really afford (and, to be honest, doesn't seem necessary since he's so glossy and clear-eyed and energetic) and yet I want to do everything I can for the little guy. And talking with the vet some more brought up all these memories of one of my past kitties who I had to have put down because of cancer, that I couldn't afford the surgery for, and I got all verklempt, and was trying to hide it, but it welled up and I got all leaky. The vet went on regardless which didn't help matters because of course he was talking about more things I couldn't afford. Bah.
In the meantime, Mer's been wandering around the room and is now sitting there cleaning himself. Suddenly the vet says, "What a cute tongue you've got there!" I look over at Mer, and he's looking back and forth at both of us, with his tongue about half-way out of his mouth, like he's sticking his tongue out at us. I started laughing, which of course made me stop crying :) Sweet kitty. How do they know?
(I ended up compromising and getting the breathtakingly expensive special food and some steroids... hopefully Mer's squirts will improve).

How is Mer, Lala ?

[lapietra]

He's okay... I think he likes the fancy new food the vet prescribed - a limited ingredient diet of proteins his tummy wouldn't be familiar with - rabbit and green pea, venison and green pea, and duck and green pea - i.e., not mixed together, in separate cans. Of course I feel a little twinge of the conscience - I wouldn't normally feed him those animals! but it seems to be helping a little - I don't have to clean the walls next to the litterbox as often :rolleyes: Time will tell whether it's the right thing. (I think I'll spring for the blood test next month ;))
Arthur is, of course, included in sampling the menu - what's weird is both of them got sick of the bunny food a couple of days in, so I had to go get cans of the other meats so I could rotate them. I asked the technician if cats are cliquish that way - "Oh, I'm SO bored with the rabbit mousse - you should be too!" She said yeah, maybe. Funny little guys. :) However, I figured out if I withheld the dry nibbles ($27 for an 8 lb. bag :eek: ) overnight, they'll eat anything I put down - which is good, 'cos I moosh up Mer's steroid into the wet food (otherwise I have to wrestle with him to get it down him, which we both hate).
He's getting to be an old kitty. I'm grateful Arthur is so healthy!

[Smartypants]

"The only thing worse than Republicans or Democrats... is when these pricks work together." (http://homepage.mac.com/njenson/movies/lb2004.mov)

Lewis Black and his plans for improving the economy (among other things).

(10 mins)

[ambo]

He's okay... I think he likes the fancy new food the vet prescribed - a limited ingredient diet of proteins his tummy wouldn't be familiar with - rabbit and green pea, venison and green pea, and duck and green pea - i.e., not mixed together, in separate cans. Of course I feel a little twinge of the conscience - I wouldn't normally feed him those animals! but it seems to be helping a little - I don't have to clean the walls next to the litterbox as often :rolleyes: Time will tell whether it's the right thing. (I think I'll spring for the blood test next month ;))
Arthur is, of course, included in sampling the menu - what's weird is both of them got sick of the bunny food a couple of days in, so I had to go get cans of the other meats so I could rotate them. I asked the technician if cats are cliquish that way - "Oh, I'm SO bored with the rabbit mousse - you should be too!" She said yeah, maybe. Funny little guys. :) However, I figured out if I withheld the dry nibbles ($27 for an 8 lb. bag :eek: ) overnight, they'll eat anything I put down - which is good, 'cos I moosh up Mer's steroid into the wet food (otherwise I have to wrestle with him to get it down him, which we both hate).
He's getting to be an old kitty. I'm grateful Arthur is so healthy!

Oh, I know just which food you are using. I have been around the block more than once with IBS/IBD. I have two kitties that have the runs a lot. I use Psyllium Seed Husk and Slippery Elm to control it. Glad Mer is doing better.

And to get back on topic:

Mujibar was trying to get into America legally through Immigration. The Immigration Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter America." Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready." The Officer said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, "Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you and works at AOL/DELL on the Help Desk.

[Jack Flanders]

I think I spoke to him him recently at Dell. Absolutely nothing made me laugh today. My husband was having kaniption (SP?) or should I say bratty fits over nothing most of the afternoon. Then we took down the *Holiday* tree. Oh, yah, I remember. He broke a glass ornament that his mother gave him. I was in the basement with the laundry and heard, "OH, SH*T!" Then the tinkle of glass flying across the floor above me. That made me laugh. :D :D :D

[Frieda]

pi (http://3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375 105820974944592.com/)

[Smartypants]

President Bush's "Blame Czar" (http://www.devilducky.com/media/41122/)

[little john]

What made me laugh this morning? Watching Judge Antonin Scalia getting grilled and squirming over the fact that instead of attending Chief Justice Robert's swearing-in ceremony (I mean for pete's sake, the guy is your boss now, stop sulking), he was repeatedly filmed at a private resort in Colorado at the invitation of a conservative legal society, playing tennis, shopping, and drinking cocktails.

I really love watching those smug guys sweating.