Post something that made you laugh today.

[madasacutsnake]

this thread (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?t=7848&page=1&pp=15&highlight=lamington)

[trisherina]

"Lambs in a thick rich sauce." Sssh. She still keeps asking to make them again.

[craig johnston]

give her lambingtons and see if she notices the difference

;)

[xfox]

Written in white on back window of a nice new pickup truck "Just Married" and on the drivers side, back window, "God Help me Please!"

[madasacutsnake]

Quote from email received today:

You might be interested to hear that Scott got totally drunk on Thursday night and occupied himself with some girl. Then, his car having disappeared, he reported it stolen (car, not the girl), except he could not tell the police exactly where he had left it, because he was too drunk to remember.

All is OK now. He had left it up an alley and it was not stolen at all.

Business continues totally flat, unfortunately.

I cannot imagine why...........

[jasmina]

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/030706/word-up-bro.jpg




(from Married to the Sea)

[smellyrayzin]

since we are posting married to the sea:
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/041606/twins.gif

[ambo]

And this is only April. The coming months promise the birth of the Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie baby, still in utero but already presumed unprecedentedly gorgeous. "Not since Jesus has a baby been so eagerly anticipated," New York magazine wrote.

[JesusTitties]

http://www.longcat.be/happycat.jpg

[lapietra]

A link to a news story: "Bush seeks to ease gas pressure".

[craig johnston]

queenie! (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showpost.php?p=306639&postcount=5)

:eek:

[lapietra]

from this blog (http://chetnotstupid.blogspot.com/2006/04/chet-not-like-soup.html):

At 4:16 PM, Anonymous said...

Careful Chet soup is hot.

At 5:10 PM, Anonymous said...



<DT><DT></DT>soup not hot. soup wash hands.



<DT>


<DT><DT><DT><DT><DT></DT>chet's frend.



<DT><DT><DT><DT><DT><DT>At 11:01 AM, Anonymous said...


<DT><DT><DT><DT><DT></DT>Noooo Chet that soAp



<DT><DT><DT><DT><DT></DT>At 10:40 AM, Anonymous said...



<DT><DT><DT><DT><DT></DT>Oh. No wonder my mouth taste funny.</DT>

[Jack Flanders]

I've found a supplier!!!!

Now there's no excuse!!!!

[Frieda]

this usa woman on tv referring to people with a dark skin in the NLs as "african americans"

:rolleyes:

[Max Headroom]

I once saw a similar instance (on amazing race) where some USA type was lost in euro land and could not get directions. Starting complaining about "foreigners"

[Frieda]

the wall of this new villa in the town of Woerden in the NLs:

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1373/woerdenlul3ul.jpg

it says "LUL", which means dick.

how cool is that?? if it was my house i would've kept it :D
anyway, they chopped it out and it now looks like this:

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/9055/woerdenlul20pt.jpg
just a bunch of boring bricks :rolleyes:

[ambo]

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

[ambo]

Okay, to be fair, this also made me frown :mad:

http://home.comcast.net/~ambographics/gasgauge.jpg

[JesusTitties]

http://themot.org/gallery/d/1124-1/nocatfarts.jpg

[Smartypants]

From an online religious advice Web page:

"God has commanded us to 'Go Forth and Multipy' and therefore rampant sex and orgies are clearly NOT sinful. The only catch here is that by participating in homosexual sex you will be unable (by definition) to multiply - thus incurring God's wrath. If however, you were to recite your multiplication tables (i.e. 2x2=4, 3x3=9...) while engaging in homosexual sex then that would certainly satisfy the requirement and prevent any potential 'Wrath of God' type lighting strikes."

[Jack Flanders]

:) :) A quiet day here, huh?

[surflugen]

Saw this on the side of Golds Gym today"

If you are not satisfied after 30 days, We will give your old body back"

[Max Headroom]

At the gym today, got off the machine, went to spray it down. The spray thing was on "stream." I shot some hottie beside me right in the face with it.... It was awesome... bust a gut laughing

[smellyrayzin]

oh stephen colbert... how i love you.

Klassic Kolbert (http://dawn.fourhobbits.net/videos/tds_20060501_klassic.wmv)

[Jack Flanders]

Wow! That kiss!!

[lapietra]

From Julia Sweeny's blog (I hadn't read it for awhile) 2-18-06:

"Sometimes I think I have a love affair with a certain kind of food – for a while it was Snappy Tom – that spicy tomato juice. I had to have it every day, every single day. I thought about my Snappy Tom when I wasn’t home and I looked forward to that rush of spice and tomato hitting my tongue. Then I began to have Snappy Tom several times during the day and the spices were so intense I began to be unable to taste any other food. Everything began to taste like Snappy Tom. You couldn’t have a glass of Snappy Tom and then have a bowl of cereal, for example. Your whole mouth was all Snappy Tom. Eventually I longed for other tastes, and so inevitably, one day, I broke up with Snappy Tom.

And I didn’t partake in him for months.

And then, slowly, he made his way back into my life. And we developed a more casual, realistic relationship – a Snappy Tom every once in a while when I was in the mood. It was never like it was at the beginning between Tom and me, but still – we found a way to be together in a more sustainable way. And it was like Snappy Tom and I would remember the old days, the days when I was obsessed with Snappy Tom. Sometimes I found myself chuckling as I poured a glass, thinking: “Remember when I was in a panic if I was out of Snappy Tom? Oh Tom, that was just nuts!” Or now, I order Snappy Tom on the plane and I shake my head – oh…Tom. Tom!"

[Smartypants]

http://www.sfgate.com/chronicle/pictures/2006/05/05/050506-950x315-badreporter.gif

[jasmina]

New ad on the tube ("subway") in London.

As you're going up the escalators, there are big posters saying:
"Can you detect cocaine on this poster?
Sniffer dogs can."

I have images of people running back down the escalators trying to lick the poster.


(btw do you think they really put coke on them?
Aw poor dogs, huh? :) )

[Audreyvgs]

JT inspired me.

http://www.audreyheffner.net/binklblow.gif






I think in that tongue one he looks like Jimmy Neutron.... we laughed our asses off.

[Jack Flanders]

OMG!!! That is so funny. I'll will not let my son see that. He'd try it.

[Audreyvgs]

http://www.nrk.no/img/202701.jpeg

[lapietra]

http://www.its-lala.com/omg.gif

[AllegroNg]

My god, I think that's my cat!!!

http://s2.excoboard.com/forums/14963/user/168378/299338.jpg

[lapietra]

My god, I think that's my cat!!!

http://s2.excoboard.com/forums/14963/user/168378/299338.jpg

aww! *gives kitty a cheek massage*

[Hyakujo's Fox]

http://www.its-lala.com/omg.gif

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOCAT!

[smellyrayzin]

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

[priceyfatprude]

TopcatBopcatBoo: are you going to jazz in the mud

http://jazz.osthoff.com/


every year it rains the week before. EVERY. YEAAAARRRRRRR.

[magdalen]

http://www.korenzailckas.com/uploaded_images/lipsthattouchliquor-700337.jpg

[smellyrayzin]

stephen colbert dancing = love (http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=701076320&n=2)

[magdalen]

^^^^^^ :D :D :D Great!!

[Jack Flanders]

OMG!!

[craig johnston]

there's a dj here called ohboygeorgemichaeljacksonpollock
if he's half as good as his name he's gonna conquer the world!
:D

[cornygrl]

What made me laugh today? Watching ze's video for today and the duhhhhh sound when Bush's face came on,,,that made me laugh hard!!!!!

[smellyrayzin]

Evolution of Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg)

[rapscalious rob]

Evolution of Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg)

good grief! that was brilliant! he didn't miss a single one... :)

[Frieda]

^^^ rob's dancing in front of the mirror right now :D

[rapscalious rob]

:) -/-<

:)-\-<

:)-|-<

[Clytie]

http://asitis.org/images/ferrets/hiding-girls.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

Evolution of Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg)

I could watch that guy for hours!!! He makes it look so easy.

[AllegroNg]

I could watch that guy for hours!!! He makes it look so easy.

What. Happened to. The. Electric Slide.

!??!?!?!?!?


Betcha his kids were in the audiance thinking wtf!

[l'azizza]

I can't believe he did all that activity for six minutes. I needed to take several breaks while just watching it.

His transitions are fabulous.

Very funny link, I laughed today!

[priceyfatprude]

What. Happened to. The. Electric Slide.

!??!?!?!?!?


Betcha his kids were in the audiance thinking wtf!IT'S ELECTRIC! WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!

Anyone who can do the Electric Slide & not spill a drop of precious beer or champagne can be in my wedding.

[smellyrayzin]

I can't believe he did all that activity for six minutes. I needed to take several breaks while just watching it.

His transitions are fabulous.

Very funny link, I laughed today!


:D


he must have been exhausted afterwards

[Smartypants]

How it all began. (http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchive/2006/05/the_big_bang.html)

Sorry for posting this twice, but it's terribly funny, and I didn't want it to be missed by those of you who aren't following the religion discussions in the DeBate Forum.

ETA: This is great, too! (http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchive/2006/05/the_simpsons_an.html)

[Smartypants]

Classic SNL from a ways back:

Al Gore as Trent Lott on Hardball. (http://www.roadtoad.net/users/desl/SNL_Hardball_with_Al_Gore_as_Trent_Lott.mov)

HAHAHAHA!! :D

[Jack Flanders]

:D :D :D HAHAHA!! I feel sorry for all those ze monkeys who have never seen SNL. When in college, parties would come to a stop for one and half hours just to watch the show. Then start again.

[steve132]

I just watched a strange and funny video :

http://www.bionicbuddha.com/rewired_ep6_blogs.htm


Where they are reviewing blogs, one is about stupid criminals. There is a preview,
but you have to download to watch the whole thing I guess.

[Smartypants]

President Al. (http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchive/2006/05/snl_al_gore_for.html)

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've seen worse (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4774429.stm)

[jasmina]

I've seen worse (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4774429.stm)

the video's brilliant

[Jack Flanders]

http://www.jdbshow.com/images/bikini/bad-planning.jpg

Bad planning!

[Jack Flanders]

Be patient, I know there's a lot of pix here but I couldn't separate them from the page. http://www.jdbshow.com/badsign.html

[Smartypants]

http://www.sfgate.com/chronicle/pictures/2006/05/19/051906-950x315-badreporter.gif

[AllegroNg]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=386878&in_page_id=1770&ct=5

Fish killed as soft drink leaks from factory

It has become a big no-no in school lunchboxes because of its unhealthy reputation.
Around 8,000 litres of concentrate used to make the drink leaked into a watercourse on Wednesday morning, turning the river bright yellow.

Dozens of fish were found floating on the surface, poisoned by the lurid mixture.

The spill of 'sub-standard' juice was a category one pollution incident, the most serious kind, according to the Environment Agency.

It was caused by a split in an underground fibreglass tank at the Gerber Foods Soft Drink factory in Bridgwater, Somerset. Approximately six tons of juice and concentrate, due for disposal, seeped into a tributary of the River Parrett.

Gerber employees began a major mopping-up operation to stop the juice reaching the river and causing more environmental havoc.

Workers created a sandbag wall and dug trenches to stop it seeping any further.

As they toiled, three tankers were called in to pump as much of the spillage out of the watercourse as possible.

The damaged tank was emptied and pits around it were excavated to prevent juice that had already spilled travelling further.

The emergency action successfully stopped the concentrate reaching the river, according to Gerber personnel director Paul Hurst.

"!We took swift action in preventing further seepage," he said.

"As far as I am aware, this is the first such incident."

More than 10million litres of juice and soft drinks are produced every week at the plant.

Mr Hurst explained: "We take extreme care with the quality of our juice and if the concentrate or the finished product is not to our required quality standard, it is contained until being removed by tanker for sustainable disposal.

"Although orange juice is a natural substance, we obviously needed to deal quickly with its concentration in the watercourse.

"Gerber personnel were deployed and we worked closely with the Environment and Drainage Board to successfully bring the situation under control within a very short timescale."

Catherine Lockwood of the Environment Agency said: "The visual impact of this incident was immediately apparent.

"We will be carrying out a detailed investigation to assess the impact it has had on the surrounding waterways."

Asda supermarkets recently withdrew Sunny D from the shelves, citing a slump in sales.

The juice drink's name was changed and a marketing campaign launched after criticism from nutritionists, who claim it contains unhealthy levels of sugar and additives.

[priceyfatprude]

you guys are sorta creeping me out...
not that there's anything wrong with that....

[daverbee]

http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/images/pearls21465630060522.gif

[Hyakujo's Fox]

what do people who have been blind from birth see in their dreams?

Chuck Norris.

[Smartypants]

Message: 2
Date: Wed, 24 May 2006 20:49:26 -0700
From: Laughing Squid <ana-ng@laughingsquid.org>
Subject: SQUID [05/25-05/27] YBCA Film: Trapped by the Mormons
To: Squid List <squidlist@lists.laughingsquid.org>
Message-ID: <762DA835-FFD2-4E91-8401-0479BC0CFEB1@laughingsquid.org>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII; delsp=yes; format=flowed


----/ The Squid List /--------------------------------------------------

YBCA Film: Trapped by the Mormons

Thu-Sat, May 25-27

7:30 pm

$8 regular, $5 students, seniors and teachers, $5 YBCA members

----/ Event Description /-----------------------------------------------

In the 20s and 30s, a slew of weird propaganda films came out of
Britain which depicted Mormons as sinister perverts. An enormously
clever remake of one of the most successful anti-Mormon films (from
1922), this version comes to us from Cherry Red Productions, the
theater troupe who created the underground sensation Cannibal
Cheerleaders on Crack.

Isoldi Keane is the top recruiter in all of Mormon-dom, using his
mesmeric powers to ensnare young girls into his evil Mormon web of
passion, polygamy and pamphlets! Will Isoldi marry Nora and take her
away to the Great Salt Lake? Or, will there be something darker
waiting for Norahellipslaveryhellip sex orgieshellipdeath!? Will
young Nora be strong enough to resist his wickedly sexy Mormon wiles?
Or will she be forever... trapped by the Mormons!




----/ Venue Info /------------------------------------------------------

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts
701 Mission Street
San Francisco
415.978.2700
www.ybca.org



----/ Additional Info /-------------------------------------------------

alee@ybca.org
415.978.ARTS (2787)

[Smartypants]

http://www.sfgate.com/chronicle/pictures/2006/05/26/052606-950x315-badreporter.gif

[daverbee]

http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/images/pearls2006029312526.gif

[rmr]

....

Telly Sevalis humped Kaptain Kangaroo
Apparantly Soupy Sales set them up on a blind date, which is strange because Soupy was an *******!!!

Believe it... or not!

Incidentally the Kaptain had an on-again-off-again fling going with Vic Tayback.

Rumour has it that Vic could not "perform" unless he was in character as Mel Sharples, his well known persona from the Linda Lavin vehicle Alice.

By the way I am a psychic medium, and I was wondering if youlost someone close, or in your family, or within a circle of aquaintences with whom you spent a great deal of time whos name begins with the letter "M".
_________________

[rmr]

soupy:

http://webpages.marshall.edu/~kasuya1/Soupy-Sales.jpg

captain k:

http://www.letsfight.com/kangaroo.jpg

telly:

http://62.233.33.215/0/01/80/72/kojak-kojak.jpg

vic:

http://www.nndb.com/people/144/000043015/vic-tayback.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

.

[madasacutsnake]

Check out the questions at the bottom of the listing.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4633452260

[LeahDear]

A customer in my shop. He announced in a very loud voice that he was a karate expert and picked up some nunchaku to demonstrate his.. ahem... 'skills' and promptly whacked himself on the head... I pissed my myself laughing.

[ambo]

Three Problems Solved

Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. Take the dirt and raise the levys in New Orleans. Put those Florida alligators in the moat.

Any other problems you need me to solve?
Have a good day

[l'azizza]

Check out the questions at the bottom of the listing.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4633452260

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

thanks for the laugh today!

[LadyCrow]

Three somethings:

1. I re-read the haiku poems some of us did when ze's dog got neutered.

2. Steven Colbert & Stone Phillips were having a "voice-off" competition on the Colbert Report tonight.

3. It's 06/06/06.

:p

[LeahDear]

JT's pic on the 'leave messages for each other' thread :D

[magdalen]

http://www.herzogbr.net/images/butt/deathwish.gif

[daverbee]

http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/images/pearls2006061174481.jpg

[trisherina]

Poor Katie... couldn't tell the screen was up across the French doors, ran right into it and fell flat on her back with a yelp of confusion. Now she won't cross the threshold unless I show her that my foot will go over. :rolleyes:

[ambo]

She hasn't had an easy week, has she?

My father, big brute of a man, walked into the sliding glass door once holding a bowl full of bean salad. He didn't appreciate that the sight of the beans flying all over the room made us giggle uncontrollably.............

[karma_queen]

channel 4 news just described bush as 'fiesty'.

bless him.

(but not too much.)

[Brynn]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7635587316493151891


"The New Cowboy" :)







.

[Jack Flanders]

Oh God, Brynn that was so funny!!!! I can't even get my cat to come in the house while she's sitting next to the door for an hour.

[magdalen]

http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showpost.php?p=313654&postcount=7 :D

[l'azizza]

yeah that's pretty funny..

my mind is a fvcking riot-
want more stories?

[magdalen]

yeah that's pretty funny..

my mind is a fvcking riot-
want more stories?

It was the laughter of recognition :)

As a child I once read a story about seagulls that kept forgetting their name. So they all were called Anna in the hope one would remember.

Magdalanna
(at the moment I remember both)

[l'azizza]

Dear Magdalanna,

It's like this premise of a play we did in high school, The Zero Sum Mind. For every one thing I learn I forget something else!

[trisherina]

You know, the lesson of the culotte is this: be what you are. If you're a skirt, embrace the skirtiness of your essential being. If you're a pair of pants -- deal with it. Don't be straddling that pants/skirt fence. Don't be a sartorial mugwump. Choose a side, dammit! (The culotte does not have a side. It is all middle.)


From A Dress A Day (http://www.dressaday.com/archive/2006_05_14_archive.html)

[l'azizza]

quote
"you know it's evil if it involves culottes".

[karma_queen]

i really want some culottes...

[daverbee]

http://www.eepybird.com/index.html

Fun with Mentos and Diet Coke.

[priceyfatprude]

Flashbacks to senior year & that teacher I hated:

http://toothpastefordinner.com/060406/wingdingers.gif

[l'azizza]

i really want some culottes...

Karma, you'd make them look good!

[magdalen]

the funny part of an ad :D

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xlQx0j5zrF4"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xlQx0j5zrF4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[jasmina]

A blog dedicated to cats that look like Hitler

http://www.hitlercats.motime.com/

miaaaaaaoooooow

[trisherina]

http://i5.tinypic.com/1626zy8.jpg

[ambo]

I don't get it
:(

[trisherina]

(speaking in tongues is a commonplace Pentecostal experience)

[ambo]

Um, okay
;)

[l'azizza]

lol
the sign on the church's (on Prairie) billboard this week,

"So, you think it's hot here"?

[Stellar]

Cause I am not the coolest kid in town

The Show

because I just saw my first episode(s) today



but I saw two blind men today by the crosswalk
and one was using a cain to aid him, the other a dog. The man with the dog was ahead of me and the man with the cain had fallen behind

I get to the crosswalk and the man with the talk asks for someone to tell him when the light changes. I say I will and while we wait for the light the man with the cain comes tapping up behind us. He hits the man with the dog in the foot and says:Excuse me
The man with the dog says: No Problem I am actually visually impared myself.
When the light changes I help the man with the cain cross the street

Moral: I Saw two unrelated blind men walk into eachotherin the center of Philadelphia

[valita]

watching argentina choke it, after two overtime sessions. i had to laugh, it was so painful.



SIZZLINGCROTCH: man
SIZZLINGCROTCH: I cant cancel an AOL subscription online
JakeD409: try to do it over the phone
SIZZLINGCROTCH: no cuz they want my screenname when i cancel
SIZZLINGCROTCH: so I gotta be like "yeah, my screenname is SIZZLINGCROTCH"


source: http://www.jaked409.net/archive.html

[AllegroNg]

Pickles!!! (http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1672815)

[Master_Jedi]

ur face

[jasmina]

http://www.b3tards.com/uploads/90degs.jpg

[karma_queen]

there's a new man called colin at work. he wears a bra and lipstick. it made me giggle un-pc-ly into my disgusting vending machine coffee.

[topcat]

there's a new man called dinz at work. he wears a bra and lipstick. it made me giggle un-pc-ly into my disgusting vending machine coffee..

[magdalen]

Frieda's CUT :)

[Frieda]

wat is er met mn kut? :eek:

[magdalen]

nee joh niet je kut maar je CUT, Custom User Title :D

[Frieda]

ow gelukkig :o




:D

[JesusTitties]

///

[Jack Flanders]

Poor baby, here's a bandaid.

[ambo]

Why Dogs Attack People

http://home.comcast.net/~ambographics/dogsuit2.jpg

http://home.comcast.net/~ambographics/dogsuit1.jpg

[daverbee]

^^^
I hate to laugh because they look so humiliated but that's part of why it's funny!:D

[smellyrayzin]

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/

[LadyCrow]

You Know You're From New Mexico When...

You buy salsa by the gallon.

You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five years ago.

Your favorite restaurant has a chile list instead of a wine list.

You do all your shopping and banking at a drive-up window.

Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".

You have license plates on your walls, but not on your car.

Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".

You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.

You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.

The tires on your roof have more tread than the ones on your car.

You price-shop for tortillas.

You have an extra freezer just for green chile.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.

You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell how well armed they are just by looking.

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.

You have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee at a drive-up window.

You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.

You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.

You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Las Vegas.

You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell newspapers.

You think Sadies was better when it was in the bowling alley.

You have used aluminum foil and duct tape to repair your air conditioner.

You can't control your car on wet pavement.

There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.

You know that The Jesus Tortilla is not a band.

You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business.

You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.

Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.

You have been on TV more than three times telling about how your neighbor was shot or about your alien abduction.

You can actually hear the Taos hum.

All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.

You know Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.

You are afraid to drive through Mora and Espanola.

You iron your jeans to "dress up".

You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.

Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.

Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature and the other in the state pen.

You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.

Your car is missing a fender or bumper.

You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3am because you were hungry.

You think the Lobos fight song is "Louie, Louie"

You know whether you want "red or green."

You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.

You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.

You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.

You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.

You can order your Big Mac with green chile.

You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.

You associate bridges with mud, not water.

You know you will run into at least 3 cousins whenever you shop at Wal-Mart, Sam's or Home Depot.

Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds. They are your lawn.

If you travel anywhere, no matter if just to run to the gas station, you must bring along a bottle of water and some moisturizer.

Trailers are not referred to as trailers. They are houses. Double-wide trailers are "real" houses.

A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of bread. You don't need to write it on your shopping list; it's a given.

At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.

Prosperity can be readily determined by the number of horses you own.

A tarantula on your porch is ordinary. A scorpion in your tub is ordinary. A poisonous centipede on your ceiling? Ordinary. A black widow crawling across your bed is terribly, terribly common. A rattlesnake is an occasional hiking hazard. No need to freak out.

(Sent to me from my brother in New Mexico.) :p

[Jack Flanders]

^^^ Question - are the tires on the roof to keep the shingles on or what? Funny list, though. I've been to NM a few times and loved it but can relate to some of the quirks. In New Jersey, an amber/red traffic light means hit the gas pedal.

[smellyrayzin]

^^^ so many of those are shared with the "you know you're from arizona when.." list! :p

[Jack Flanders]

Having been to Texas, some of the list could apply to that state, also. And I ran into a scorpion in my aunt's bathroom who lives outside of Atlanta.

[smellyrayzin]

I ran into a scorpion in my aunt's bathroom who lives outside of Atlanta.

scorpions in the house are a daily occurrence here. always check your shoes/sheets/clothes/pillows/whatever !!
have you ever put them in the microwave? they explode.

[craig johnston]

and who gets to clean out the microwave?
:eek:

[smellyrayzin]

the person who put them in ...
so that'd be my dad. :rolleyes:

[Jack Flanders]

He deserves that chore!!

[Jaime]

http://happycarpenter.blogs.com/the_happy_carpenter/images/snowman_morbid_1.JPG

This probably shouldn't make me laugh :o

[Penut]

Dont say that Jamie!!! Its normal to laugh at dieing snowmen!! Didnt u piss ureself at that movie??

[Penut]

Oh and a few other things that made me laugh today. My avatar, Link: http://www.skunk.co.uk/entertainment/images/default.asp
Also that yoda dog had me cacking my self! Cheers Ambo :D
Oh and Zidane getting sent off! Classic!

[12"razormix]

.


http://www.chrisbishop.com/fineart/images/art-tinywhalingrobot.jpg (http://www.chrisbishop.com/fineart/index.html)


.

[Jaime]

I know this has probably been around for a while, but the simple fact that this cat is real always makes me laugh.

http://accordionguy.blogware.com/Photos/2005/10/blogacatmas/giant_cat.jpg

Edit: Okay, this should actually work now.

Edit 2: Bloody hell! Just go here :P

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/bigcat2.asp

[ambo]

I know this has probably been around for a while, but the simple fact that this cat is real always makes me laugh.Nope, don't think so!

[ambo]

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the
criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be
institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty
the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?"

[zenbabe]

This made me laugh yesterday, but it is still hysterical.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtZDK5trBbY



This guy has the greatest laugh ever!!!!:D

[Max Headroom]

Thats friggin great man

[noxxville]

Read this (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/10/AR2006071001304.html) today. One word for the researchers on this one: "DUH"

[zenbabe]

hahaha, I read that yesterday. I want to be part of that study!!

[Avalon]

This is why kids should not be left unattended LOL
http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/8581/pic089591cm.jpg

http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/9841/attc12129dl.jpg

[rmr]

chevy chase quote:

"My youngest, who's 17, seems to be identical to the way I was in my perception of the world," he told Details. "I mean, I can remember the first time I called her a whore. We just laughed for half an hour. Because she's anything but. But she gets it immediately and laughs. I'd call her every day down at school; she might pick up and say, 'Whoretown!' She said something the other day like, 'Dad, how much should I charge?'"

[smellyrayzin]

http://images14.fotki.com/v336/photos/5/56477/249829/paint-vi.jpg

[jasmina]

^ ^ 'shopped!

[Avalon]

Brought to you but the makers of Prozac....................This is funny in a sad, Tom Cruise kinda way..

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/994/593/400/alfred.0.jpg

[ShopaholicChick]

http://hometown.aol.com/The%20Bichy%20Witch/speakstupid.jpg <br> http://www.cafepress.com/shopaholicchick/1079895

[trisherina]

http://www.sjtent.com/EF/shoppingcart/images/smallimages/80545.jpg

[Audreyvgs]

http://www.audreyheffner.net/binktoday.jpg

Bink and I went to see where they do the Today Show today, and Matt Lauer jumps in this Lamborghini, and starts it up, and hits the wipers by
accident. Reminded me that scene in Risky Business where they go to take
the dads Porsche and kill it in the garage, then restart. A Lamborghini wouldnt do that to you, neither would a Ferrari. The only thing you can do
to embarass yourself in that car is to accidently hit the wipers.

[ambo]

GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES 2006

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: "lucky bastards."

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his butt will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," .............. ooh, you're a huge hole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Dear lady, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's located right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
oh man, do I agree with this one

[trisherina]

Thanks for posting that, Ambo!

[craig johnston]

a group of aussie tourists complaining about the heat on the u-bahn.
ho ho!

:)

[daverbee]

http://www.comics.com/wash/pickles/archive/images/pickles2006070149569.gif

[ambo]

Thanks for posting that, Ambo!
I just LOVE George. Seeing him perform is exhausting!

[smellyrayzin]

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MpmrToFMNjI"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MpmrToFMNjI" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[smellyrayzin]

hahaha one more:

"maybe i'm too stoned to tell"
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6fdL1VnMjsY"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6fdL1VnMjsY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[topcat]

GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES 2006

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: "lucky bastards."

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his butt will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," .............. ooh, you're a huge hole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Dear lady, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's located right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
oh man, do I agree with this one
funny shit but it is not george carlin. it is bill maher

[JesusTitties]

http://www.telemail.fi/kalle.nyman/hardgay.gif

[Frieda]

http://img68.imageshack.us/img68/1158/wowog1.gif

[auntie aubrey]

http://static.flickr.com/55/165846373_618a58d2d1_o.jpg

[JesusTitties]

lol

[ambo]

http://home.comcast.net/~ambographics/towelheads.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

^^^HAHA!!

[Jaime]

I can't stop laughing at this.
http://www.reallyfunnypictures.co.uk/animals/pics/23.02.06/hungrybird.jpg

[AllegroNg]

:D :D

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h306/AllegroNg/cop.jpg

[madasacutsnake]

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/Health-Walker_W0QQitemZ270011742519QQihZ017QQcategoryZ152 80QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

[Anna]

http://homepage.mac.com/digitsu/iblog/C1128441717/E1496061480/Media/29%20funny%20sign.jpg

[daverbee]

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[LeahDear]

^^^ :D

That made me laugh today :D

[12"razormix]

nae basturd fvckken messes wi’ ma holidays (http://www.firstfoot.com/mambo/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75&Itemid=1)

[jasmina]

nae basturd fvckken messes wi’ ma holidays (http://www.firstfoot.com/mambo/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75&Itemid=1)
where is 0?!

[12"razormix]

sorting himself out having his ****ing tea and chips i'm sure..

[zero]

:mad: i was in the cludgie feeling peely-waly

[12"razormix]

cludgie feely peely bla blahttp://smileys.75thtrombone.com/o/bored.gif

[zero]

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/images/smilies/disagree.gifnaw ye urny

[12"razormix]

och nae :(

[zero]

there there nevermind zomrix22 - it's getting on for teatime

[zero]

.

http://www.sketchzilla.com/madlibs/pill.gif (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showpost.php?p=319584&postcount=3)


.

[12"razormix]

.

:mad:


.

[zero]

.

http://www.sketchzilla.com/madlibs/pill.gif (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showpost.php?p=319588&postcount=2176)


.

[12"razormix]

.

http://www.sketchzilla.com/madlibs/pill.gif my arse! :mad:


.

[craig johnston]

"In a Napoli-Salernitana local derby in 1945, a referee named Stampacchia lost control of the match and faced a pitch invasion from a large and hostile crowd, At this, Signore Stampacchia wisely pretended to have been shot. A large and concerned crowd gathered around the fallen official's tragically supine form - at which point, tempers having cooled nicely, Stampacchia got back up and continued the game."

:)

[Jaime]

http://www.its-lala.com/frizzled2.jpg

[sleepwalkers]

The fact that my ex-girlfriend now has a girlfriend.
Yes, a girlfriend.
That's how much life sucks without me. :)

[dinzdale]

It depends. Does she let you watch?

[magdalen]

http://s10.photobucket.com/albums/a145/suzmo/Animaties/th_LaurelenHardy.gif

Always, can't help myself. One of my (ex) boyfriends collected their movies. And sometimes I had to stop the video because he couldn't get his breath and fell from his chair. I really love them :)

[Frieda]

my colleague Janine ranting:

"we have to report a Security Incident whenever we see someone use a wireless mouse or keyboard. i bet the Security Officer will be delighted.. "last night, around 3.50 am when i was doing my round, i caught a glimpse of a wireless mouse just disappearing behind the coffee machine...""

[hasslehaas]

http://www.eatabagofdicks.com

Yes, that made me laugh.

[Jaime]

I like these guys.

http://www.oldeenglish.org/podcast/dont-you-wish

[fable]

an old person.

i'm going to hell

[madasacutsnake]

Heh. You and me babe. Toasting marshamllows over the inferno.

[Jaime]

http://www.mycathatesyou.com/images/cats/2003/10/frank_sinatra.jpg

[Avalon]

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/2449/image002xg2.jpg

[ambo]

http://home.comcast.net/~ambographics/iCat.gif

[ambo]

Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day, "you know I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss calls his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Bush", his boss quickly retorts.

"Yep", Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington" and off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up. "

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The new Pope", his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

[lapietra]

http://home.comcast.net/~ambographics/iCat.gif

MERLIN!!! Stop blowing your little eardrums out with that dad-blasted rap music!!!!

[ambo]

A beautiful, well endowed, young lady goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: ''SEX FROGS! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).''

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, ''I'll take one.'' The man packages the frog and says,, ''just follow the instructions carefully.'' The girl nods,, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she takes out the instructions and reads them carefully. She does exactly what is specified:

1.- Take a shower.
2.- Splash on some nice perfume.
3.- Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4.- Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you.
5.- Allow the frog to follow its training.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says: ''If you have problems or questions, call the pet store.''

The lady calls the pet store. The man says, ''I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over.'' Within minutes, the man rings her doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says, "I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there.''

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says, ''LISTEN TO ME! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!''

[Brynn]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1569125216323959688&hl=en

[smellyrayzin]

^^^ lololol
so simple, yet it made me crack up..


*easily amused*

[trisherina]

Aw... (added to a certain rat's favourites)

[craig johnston]

remembering our friend angela on saturday night.
to a total stranger:

'it's raining, you have a hat, i don't'

:D

[Frieda]

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/1544/20051216hvi3.jpg

www.penny-arcade.com

[ShopaholicChick]

LMAO that made me laugh because i was cleaning my hardrive the other day and found the he-man theme song in my mp3 file LMAO

[Clytie]

http://www.tickledorange.com/Val/makeout.jpg

[kate]

check some real art out. I almost made a disaster in my pants laughing so hard at this. go to the gallery.

www.sprinklebrigade.com

[sweeterdinu]

This was kinda last night but I tricked my friend into thinking she was talking to a guy that liked herehey gurl!!! says:
MMMM

Candi says:
mmm what?

hey gurl!!! says:
lookin fine gurl!!

hey gurl!!! says:
Whats ur name

Candi says:
who is this?

hey gurl!!! says:
Tell me who this is first

Candi says:
No

hey gurl!!! says:
This LJ Pimpin

hey gurl!!! says:
wus yo name

Candi says:
is this a girl or a boy?

hey gurl!!! says:
Boy, who you think dis is? Sheryl Crow?

Candi says:
Lol

hey gurl!!! says:
So I guesho name is Candi... well you look sweet like candy gurl and I want some of ur candy

hey gurl!!! says:
no wut i mean baby

Candi says:
yeah that is my name whats urs?

hey gurl!!! says:
Some people call me LJ pimpin, Mista cool... but you candi gurl, can call me, Lee- Jackwon....Lee for short

Candi says:
how old r u?

hey gurl!!! says:
15, turnin 16 on da last daya aug aug... u baby gurl?

Candi says:
im 13

hey gurl!!! says:
Ohh, das iight gurl, jus as long a u fine and u is VERR FINE

hey gurl!!! says:
YEAH I SAID VERR V E R R

Candi says:
how would u know?

hey gurl!!! says:
myspace..chica

Candi says:
do u have it?

Candi says:
yes
Candi says:
do u?

hey gurl!!! says:
main, i used to gurl, got rida it... i aint had no friendz, i dont no y gurl, all it wuz wuz girlz all over me...(which was fine and all)(lol) but uh, i needed some real friendz, then I saw u, and I was like DANG GIRL!

hey gurl!!! says:
LOL

Candi says:
Lol

hey gurl!!! says:
want a pic of me?

Candi says:
sure

Waiting for Candi to accept the file "ljpimpin.jpg" (18 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer.

Transfer of file "ljpimpin.jpg" has been declined by Candi.

hey gurl!!! says:
main, i got email it

hey gurl!!! says:
ilov3him1300@hotmail.com rite
Candi says:
Yep

Candi says:
i g2g to church 2morrow and im|-) so can i ttu 2morrow sometime?

Candi says:
Tired

hey gurl!!! says:
Yeah gurl lemme send this to ya stay for a few baby

Candi says:
Ok

Candi says:
Brb

Candi says:
im back

Candi says:
g2g so bye ttu 2morrow

hey gurl!!! says:
ok baby bye

[auntie aubrey]

i just read the previous post and died a little inside. now i can't remember the thing that made me laugh today.

:(

[Jaime]

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1449/invisiblesandwichqj4.jpg

[craig johnston]

i just read the previous post and died a little inside.

you and me babe

;)

[ambo]

http://home.comcast.net/~ambographics/ticket.jpg

[lapietra]

you and me babe

;)

Yah - but the post after it cured me. :D

[Jaime]

I love how "miraculous" the commentary and sound effects make this seem.

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3gf-eElMXow"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3gf-eElMXow" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[AllegroNg]

http://www.improveverywhere.com/mission_view.php?mission_id=59

One of many.. but I like this:)

[smellyrayzin]

wow.... that was really cool!

[rapscalious rob]

http://www.improveverywhere.com/mission_view.php?mission_id=59

One of many.. but I like this:)

That's weirdly great! I would totally like to participate in something like that

[zenbabe]

they were still moving faster than Home Depot employees

[jasmina]

I'm definitely setting up that same scenario in the west hampstead branch of Costa Coffee. These people really crack me up - totally inspirational - and the best thing about it is that it's totally without malice, it's all just about fun - making people's days just that little less boring. Love it.

[zenbabe]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f31PLcCXD0U

[RuneT]

http://fx.itpro.no/scr/bangkokmimelek.jpg

[xerocs]

http://ednet.rvc.cc.il.us/~jlbecker/00000000-00000000.8/free%20cat.jpg

[Jack Flanders]

http://fx.itpro.no/scr/bangkokmimelek.jpg

HAHAHA!!!! Ouch!:D

[Jack Flanders]

http://ednet.rvc.cc.il.us/~jlbecker/00000000-00000000.8/free%20cat.jpg

Not funny, you sicko!

[Anna]

http://barry.warsaw.us/images/max-laugh.jpg

[l'azizza]

http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/8127/duff6.jpg

[trisherina]

:D

[smellyrayzin]

oh man, had me in tears
"let's take a pop tart and fill it with nasty meat!"


Hot Pocket:
<param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1KmkAZCevgw"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1KmkAZCevgw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[ambo]

A fleeing Al Qaida guerilla, desperate for water, was plodding through the Iraqi desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling neckties.

The Arab asked, "Do you have water?"

The old Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.00."

The Arab shouted, "Idiot Jew! Israel should not exist! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first."

"O.K.," said the old Jew, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. Shalom."

Several hours later the Arab staggered back, near collapse. "Your brother won't let me in without a tie."

[auntie aubrey]

Hot Pocket

his hot pocket bit makes me laugh so hard that i cry and can't breathe and hours later when it pops back into my head the laughter starts all over again.

and again, right this minute.

[ambo]

The Italian Golfer

An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?"

I'm Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy,"and that's why I'm in such good shape." I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways." "Have a glass of vino, and all is well."

"Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?"

"Who said my Dad's dead?"

The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"

"He's 100 years old," says the old Italian golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive ... he's Italian and he's a golfer too."

"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my grandpa's dead?" "He's still akick'n."

Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"

"He's 118 years old," says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"

"Who said he wanted to?"

[madasacutsnake]

^^ HA.

I looked after an old bloke in his eighties who used to ramble on about his father visiting. We paid no heed until the day his dad actually turned up. Dad was over 100.

Pretty sad when you have to visit your kids in the nursing home :-)

[Jack Flanders]

For^^^

A nurse walks into a bank. While preparing to write a check, she pulls out a rectal themometer from her purse and tries to write with it.

The nurse looks up at the shocked bank teller watching her and without missing a beat says, "Well, that's great....... that's really great...... . Some asshole has got my pen."

And what's the difference between an oral thermometer and rectal themometer? The taste.

[smellyrayzin]

his hot pocket bit makes me laugh so hard that i cry and can't breathe and hours later when it pops back into my head the laughter starts all over again.

and again, right this minute.

LOL
me too!
we have hot pockets in our freezer, and whenever i open it part of his stand up thing pops into my head and i crack up
"have you tried the hot pocket hot pocket? It's a hot pocket filled with a hot pocket... it taste just like a hot pocket!!"

[trisherina]

"Hot Pockets... brilliant, not quite as good as 'by Mennen'..."

[auntie aubrey]

"what's it going to sound like in mexico?"
"um..... caliente pockets?"
"you, sir, have a gift."

[Anna]

http://members.cox.net/brueger/images/puppies.jpg

[Jaime]

Yeesh! That's... different.

If I was ever going to do something that, I don't think I would choose dogs.

[Brynn]

mice? hippos? not that it's any of my business.

[Jack Flanders]

No, those are her "Puppies!"

[smellyrayzin]

now THAT is classy! :cool:


(i'm refering to the rib-cage-high neon green shorts, of course)

[Jaime]

mice? hippos? not that it's any of my business.

Hmm...I hadn't given that part too much thought.

Duckies?

[Brynn]

http://workingforchange.speedera.net/www.workingforchange.com/webgraphics/wfc/TMW01-25-06.jpg

[craig johnston]

Hmm...I hadn't given that part too much thought.

this made me laugh out loud.
:)

[l'azizza]

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/9382/santaos0.gif

[smellyrayzin]

http://images7.fotki.com/v114/photos/5/56477/494088/Mrs_Crocodile-vi.jpg

[Odbe]

http://www.pipingrad.com/sht/sht27.html

[Avalon]

The title of the new CD by Yo La Tengo:
I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS

:p

[craig johnston]

12" in the creepy thread!

:D

[craig johnston]

bush's brain (http://www.salon.com/ent/video_dog/comedy/2006/09/11/bush_s_brain/index.html)

who said the germans had no sense of humour?

:D

[trisherina]

12" in the creepy thread!

:D
:p

[ambo]

THE STORY OF DREAMS

There is a story of a boy who discovered that he had the ability to predict the future. It came through his dreams. However the future he could predict only dealt with knowing about the fact that a particular person was going to die.

It all started at the age of 8 when one night he had a nightmare concerning his Aunt Elizabeth. He told his parents that night with tears in his eyes.

“Oh don’t worry son,” his father and mother said as they put him back to bed.

The following morning though the family had a phone call. It turned out his Aunt Elizabeth had died the night before.

Now the boy was sad, but knowing his aunt was a fairly old and was sickly let his mind at ease. He did however feel that he had a particular gift. A couple of years later he had another dream, but this time was of his father. In his dream a crow had appeared and informed him that his father was going to die soon. Well this was quite upsetting to the 10 year old and after thinking it over he could not contain his fears and told his father. His father told him right then to not worry and we are all going someday anyway, but below his confident exterior he was quite worried. That day he continually looked around as though an ax was going to fall on him or a car or bus would run him over. At the end of the day when he came home his wife saw how agitated he looked.”What’s the matter?” she asked.

"Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve had probably the worst day of my life. I’ve been imagining all sorts of horrible accidents happening to me.”

“That’s incredible,” said his wife, “if you think that is something the Milkman died of a heart attack this morning, right in front of our house.”

[Jack Flanders]

http://www.april-fools.us/images/t-shirts/funny/spongebiff.gif

[l'azizza]

http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/1475/saladcatzc4.png

[Jaime]

http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/1475/saladcatzc4.png
I love that :D

But I hope for the sake of everyone involved that this happened before any dressing was put on the salad.

Hairy salad is one thing, but having to wash a gooey cat is far, far worse.