so, how was your bowel movement?

[lukkucairi]

oh, and speaking for myself, today's was most satisfying.

you?

[Frieda]

my goodness it smells like death and destruction :eek:

[lukkucairi]

^ drink less whisky of an evening then

[Frieda]

one word: burrito

[Frieda]

my god there's still death and destruction coming from that damn thing!

[AllegroNg]

Red Velvet Cake
:(

Creepy

[lukkucairi]

dang, Frieds :eek:

disrupted by very very early morning travel

renormalizing in 3...2...1...

[Frieda]

lets talk about poop, pooping and the after-poop



i just took a nice dump. it was exactly right.

now, do you fold the paper, or crumple the paper into a fluffy wiping device?

[lukkucairi]

I wrap it around my hand three times and then partially crumple, partially fold

[Max Headroom]

I've been dropping some perfect poops lately.

I love the 15-30 minutes of poophoria that follow. Makes my mornings worth while....

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Exquisite. In fact, I bottled a sample for my gastroenterologist to admire. :D

As for TP, I just tear off some and crumple it in the course of actions.

Now why isn't all this in the qotd-thread? Maybe Mo would finally be able to report back. Unless she's busy doing some extensive research on winds...

[Jack Flanders]

i like peas

[lukkucairi]

cabbage works well, for that matter

[Coffee]

^^^cabbage for tp? Hmmm...interestiing idea, it would compost very easily esp. suitable for people using composting toilets.

Recycled tp used to be my norm cuz of the price savings and the benefit to the enviorment, but then i realized that i could go a step further by using up all that wasted printer paper. It's very sturdy, u only need one or two sheets torn into 1/4s (Important tip: tear off the straight edges of the sheet before you 1/4 it...nasty paper cuts if u don't soften those factory edges :eek: ). Nowadays I hate using regular tp, it's too soft and fragile...i like it rough...iin fact i crumple the printer paper slightly giving it more "grab". Mind u i keep some of the regular tp for guests and those "wet poops" that require more absorbency.

(^^^jk of course)

[Marcus Bales]

How long has this been going on?

[lukkucairi]

^ since the invention of the alimentary canal

[brightpearl]

Oooookay.
To continue the probiotic conversation from the qotd thread, and the lovely F wanting the scoop on poopy bacteria....

Probiotic microbes are (and I am so sorry to have to say this) often fecal bacteria. That's why they so often have names like faecalis that the food companies change to avoid telling you that. It's not as bad as it sounds...they're found in poop because they're supposed to be in there, you know? And the actual individual microbes that are in your yogurt container are not culled from manure or anything...they're just cultured from strains that were originally isolated from stool samples. Sorry. I know this sounds like very bad news. Just try to think of it as natural.

You know, babies often have digestive discomfort because their little guts aren't properly colonized by good bugs yet. It happens over a few months as they come in contact with, you know, boobs and stuff. There's a school of thought that this is one of the reasons why breastfed babies have a lowered risk of obesity...they demonstrably end up with a different gut bacteria profile.

It all goes in a big circle, so try to focus on the other direction...These are bacteria that need to go IN at some point. Just try not to think about how they come out. :D

The confusion over things like E. coli, as you mentioned, is that there are lots of different strains of many species. Some of them are harmless or even beneficial, and may be commonly found in most peoples' digestive tracts, where they help you by assisting in the manufacture of Vitamin K and by outcompeting harmful bacteria. Other strains of the same species may have traded genes with other pathogens and become virulent --- E. coli O157:H7 apparently got cozy with Shigella (?? if I remember correctly) at some beef ranch a while back, and now when people eat it in poorly cooked meat, they can get really sick or even die, despite the fact that they have a different strain of the same species already in their systems.

[Frieda]

oh i see, so not all strains are evil. makes sense! thanky :)

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

...the scoop on poopy bacteria....

I gained a totally new outlook on life and breakfast.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

Oooookay.
To continue the probiotic conversation from the qotd thread, and the lovely F wanting the scoop on poopy bacteria....

... or maybe not so good as some adverts proclaim (http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/health-claim-of-probiotics-not-accepted-1796375.html)

[Marcus Bales]

If ever there was a bowel movement that was the bowel movement that takes me down one whole pants size, this morning's bowel movement was that bowel movement.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

^ Inappropriate Dinner (breakfast) Converstations thread

[lukkucairi]

alarmingly full of beets

[Frieda]

awesome, ever since i switched from 70% to 30% non-digestible fibres in my daily food intake. thought i'd let you know.

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

what are non-digestible fibres? i imagine a tea-towel...

[Frieda]

fibers that are said to "clean" your intestines by binding to cholesterol, contaminants, serve as food for bacteria and help your bowel move.

there's soft ones and hard ones, soft ones in fruit & veggies help and hard ones. the hard ones are found in wheat and grains and rice and such.

i reduced the wholewheat bread and rice and am eating more vegetables and fruit. i haven't had broooommmmmmm poop ever since. you know, the kind that has about 12 seconds between the first rumble and the explosion.

don't you just love the poop talk?

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

I will put it down in my notebook - when I run out of things to talk about (which is most often the case) I will pull out this little gem of information unexpectedly like a magician pulls out a white rabbit of a black top hat.

[Frieda]

do you think there's ever rabbit droppings in those magician's hats?

[YsaPur EsChomuw]

a fair amount, i'd guess. it's no coincidence that soon after they conjure up bunches of roses. i suppose to cover up the smell of rabbit droppings. they recycle those on rosebeds, i think. the circle of life, ha!

[Jack Flanders]

...or perhaps it's the bunny bombs that help grow the the roses?

[Klynne]

There is a very large woman at work. She leaves the toilet a mess. Every damn time. Her feces is left all over it. Then we have to clean it before the rest of us can use it. We know it would hurt her feelings if we confront her with this. So what do we say? Yes we know it is her.

[Frieda]

Hang up a sign and hire a cleaner

[Frieda]

^let me clarify-- i've been to many horrible ladies bathrooms and sometimes there was a sign on the inside of the door that said something like

"please look back and clean up behind you" or something or "use the brush if you miss the bowl" or "to prevent clogging please toss your tampons and pads in the bin"

one sign had a picture of a hippo spraying poop. it made me laugh, perhaps that's an idea?

[Frieda]

awesome, ever since i switched from 70% to 30% non-digestible fibres in my daily food intake. thought i'd let you know.

i am now able to digest small portions of lactose without swelling up like a balloon and drowing in methane. awesome :)