Limericks for the Purist (communal)

[funkytuba]

There once was a man who carved driftwood
Into shapes erotic, if he could
he once used a chainsaw
to carve out a cheap whore
and soon call Attica home he would

[weissenflatz]

In summer I like to go sailing

[Hyakujo's Fox]

In summer I like to go sailing
But leaks mean I have to keep bailing

[weissenflatz]

In summer I like to go sailing
But leaks mean I have to keep bailing
So to get some real fun

[Hyakujo's Fox]

In summer I like to go sailing
But leaks mean I have to keep bailing
So to get some real fun
leave my trousers undone

[funkytuba]

In summer I like to go sailing
But leaks mean I have to keep bailing
So to get some real fun
leave my trousers undone
and my pants to the mast I'll be nailing

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I once met a strange girl on the bus

[weissenflatz]

I once met a strange girl on the bus
too loud and too much fuss

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I once met a strange girl on the bus
way too loud and she made too much fuss
But I fancied her butt

[Smartypants]

I once met a strange girl on the bus
way too loud and she made too much fuss
But I fancied her butt
And I knew in my gut

[weissenflatz]

I once met a strange girl on the bus
way too loud and she made too much fuss
But I fancied her butt
And I knew in my gut
That she will encounter my deep thrusts

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a man called weissenflatz

[weissenflatz]

There once was a man called weissenflatz
Who was a bit weird, but also ein Schatz

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a man called weissenflatz
Who was a bit weird, but also ein Schatz
Whenever he went out

[lapietra]

There once was a man called weissenflatz
Who was a bit weird, but also ein Schatz
Whenever he went out
The ladies would shout:

[funkytuba]

There once was a man called weissenflatz
Who was a bit weird, but also ein Schatz
Whenever he went out
The ladies would shout:
"There's weissenflatz! Lock up your dogsencatz!"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'll tell you how my heart got broken

[Smartypants]

I'll tell you how my heart got broken
By a wily cocktease from Hoboken

[funkytuba]

I'll tell you how my heart got broken
By a wily cocktease from Hoboken
we met and we danced

[weissenflatz]

I'll tell you how my heart got broken
By a wily cocktease from Hoboken
we met and we danced
I touched and then glanced

[ambo]

I'll tell you how my heart got broken
By a wily cocktease from Hoboken
we met and we danced
I touched and then glanced
at his toupee... Not one word was spoken

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I ordered a big bowl of the soup

[straymonk]

I ordered a big bowl of the soup
I asked for lentil, but got goop

[lapietra]

I ordered a big bowl of the soup
I asked for lentil, but got goop
But when covered with cheese

[zenbabe]

I ordered a big bowl of the soup
I asked for lentil, but got goop
But when covered with cheese
It soon made me sneeze

[funkytuba]

I ordered a big bowl of the soup
I asked for lentil, but got goop
But when covered with cheese
It soon made me sneeze
which in turn sadly did make me poop

[lapietra]

I hate it when I'm unprepared

[funkytuba]

I hate it when I'm unprepared
the hives come back and I get scared

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I hate it when I'm unprepared
the hives come back and I get scared
So I count up to ten

[weissenflatz]

I hate it when I'm unprepared
the hives come back and I get scared
So I count up to ten
dont' think of if or when

[Audreyvgs]

I hate it when I'm unprepared
the hives come back and I get scared
So I count up to ten
dont' think of if or when
then I dive in and act like I cared






:confused:

[straymonk]

This pizza was delivered quite cold

[Deviate]

This pizza was delivered quite cold
And unmistakenly old

[lapietra]

This pizza was delivered quite cold
And unmistakenly old
When I asked "What the hell?"

[Smartypants]

This pizza was delivered quite cold
And unmistakenly old
When I asked "What the hell
is that old wet sock smell?"

[weissenflatz]

This pizza was delivered quite cold
And unmistakenly old
When I asked "What the hell
is that old wet sock smell?"
"That's fresh parmezzan", I was told

[funkytuba]

Your sweetie has posted a sign

[Audreyvgs]

Your sweetie has posted a sign
cause your habits are way out of line

[Smartypants]

Your sweetie has posted a sign
cause your habits are way out of line
It says, "Re-cap the toothpaste,

[funkytuba]

Your sweetie has posted a sign
cause your habits are way out of line
It says, "Re-cap the toothpaste,
don't pee in quite such haste

[Smartypants]

Your sweetie has posted a sign
cause your habits are way out of line.
It says, "Re-cap the toothpaste,
don't pee in quite such haste
or to 'nother I might take a shine."

[clipmgr]

Originally posted by ProfessionalGun
Alright folks! Get out your calculators. The rules here are STRICT! . . . Some of you will try. . . few will succeed. . . SO PAY ATTENTION!

Standard Limerick Form: AABBA . . . yesss, a lot like the band wiseguy- but BETTER. Now listen up!

The form above relates not only to rhyme (where all the "A" lines rhyme with each other, and both the "B" lines rhyme with each other), but to rhythm as well. This means WATCH YOUR SYLLABLES. If you've ever listened to music in your life, then this shouldn't be too difficult. The "A" lines MUST have 3 beats. Here's a little test. . .

Which of the following "A" lines is correct?

a) This one.
b) I like to go fishing.
c) Hickory dickory dock.
d) I like to be careless and ruin limericks with GREAT POTENTIAL!

So what did you choose? Did you choose "b"? Well congratulations! You're wrong. While "b" can arguably be divided into 3 beats, two different ways (with emphasis on "like", "go", and "ing" - or - "I", "to", and "fish") it's inappropriate because. . . . ?

. . . It lacks FLOW!

If it sounds awkward- IT'S WRONG! Sooooo- that said, the right answer is "c". "Hickory dickory dock" is a brilliant concoction of consonance and meter- the first words providing forward motion and the last setting a definite finish point for the line. THREE sure-fire beats that you'd have to fight human nature in order to read incorrectly!

THAT- is what the limericks in this post will glorify! METER! BEAUTIFUL RHYTHMIC ACCURACY! ! ! . . . (and please don't forget rhyme!).

So the "A" lines have 3 beats. The "B" lines have 2. If you remember that- then MY DREAM WILL COME TRUE.

Example.

Hickory dickory dock (3)
The mouse ran up the clock (3)
The clock struck one (2)
The mouse ran down (2)
Hickory dickory dock (3).

Oh MOTHER OF. . . pearl. My example doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme! Slant rhyme. I HATE slant rhyme. "one" and "down" don't rhyme! And come to think of it- this poem doesn't even make sense! We're going to do SOOO much better, aren't we? Goooooood. Let's go.

Recap: Remember A(3)-A(3)-B(2)-B(2)-A(3) . . . no problem, right? . . . and don't forget. . . I'M WATCHING YOU.

Here we go. I'll start.

1. Someone please shut this guy up


GET IT RIGHT!!! It's supposed to be
Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other two got away with minor injuries!

(PS - see recent pm to you from me)
clipmgr :D

[clipmgr]

Originally posted by ProfessionalGun
Alright folks! Get out your calculators. The rules here are STRICT! . . . Some of you will try. . . few will succeed. . . SO PAY ATTENTION!

Standard Limerick Form: AABBA . . . yesss, a lot like the band wiseguy- but BETTER. Now listen up!

The form above relates not only to rhyme (where all the "A" lines rhyme with each other, and both the "B" lines rhyme with each other), but to rhythm as well. This means WATCH YOUR SYLLABLES. If you've ever listened to music in your life, then this shouldn't be too difficult. The "A" lines MUST have 3 beats. Here's a little test. . .

Which of the following "A" lines is correct?

a) This one.
b) I like to go fishing.
c) Hickory dickory dock.
d) I like to be careless and ruin limericks with GREAT POTENTIAL!

So what did you choose? Did you choose "b"? Well congratulations! You're wrong. While "b" can arguably be divided into 3 beats, two different ways (with emphasis on "like", "go", and "ing" - or - "I", "to", and "fish") it's inappropriate because. . . . ?

. . . It lacks FLOW!

If it sounds awkward- IT'S WRONG! Sooooo- that said, the right answer is "c". "Hickory dickory dock" is a brilliant concoction of consonance and meter- the first words providing forward motion and the last setting a definite finish point for the line. THREE sure-fire beats that you'd have to fight human nature in order to read incorrectly!

THAT- is what the limericks in this post will glorify! METER! BEAUTIFUL RHYTHMIC ACCURACY! ! ! . . . (and please don't forget rhyme!).

So the "A" lines have 3 beats. The "B" lines have 2. If you remember that- then MY DREAM WILL COME TRUE.

Example.

Hickory dickory dock (3)
The mouse ran up the clock (3)
The clock struck one (2)
The mouse ran down (2)
Hickory dickory dock (3).

Oh MOTHER OF. . . pearl. My example doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme! Slant rhyme. I HATE slant rhyme. "one" and "down" don't rhyme! And come to think of it- this poem doesn't even make sense! We're going to do SOOO much better, aren't we? Goooooood. Let's go.

Recap: Remember A(3)-A(3)-B(2)-B(2)-A(3) . . . no problem, right? . . . and don't forget. . . I'M WATCHING YOU.

Here we go. I'll start.

1. Someone please shut this guy up


GET IT RIGHT!!! It's supposed to be
Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other two got away with minor injuries!

(PS - see recent pm to you from me)
clipmgr :D

[Hyakujo's Fox]

He was the oldest man in London

[straymonk]

He was the oldest man in London
his family - he just shunned 'em

[Hyakujo's Fox]

He was the oldest man in London
his family - he just shunned 'em
He would wander the streets

[weissenflatz]

He was the oldest man in London
his family - he just shunned 'em
He would wander the streets
and smoke delusional weeds

[Audreyvgs]

where the hell is smarty?

[zenbabe]

where the hell is smarty?
He seems to be a bit tardy

[Audreyvgs]

where the hell is smarty?
He seems to be a bit tardy
when company comes

[funkytuba]

where the hell is smarty?
He seems to be a bit tardy
when company comes
he succumbs with aplomb

[Coffee]

where the hell is smarty?
He seems to be a bit tardy
when company comes
he succumbs with aplomb
unless he feels a bit farty.

[straymonk]

There once was a poet who was flatulent

[weissenflatz]

There once was a poet who was flatulent
he was fed brown beans by his best friend

[funkytuba]

There once was a poet who was flatulent
he was fed brown beans by his best friend
the gas came and went
with a hell of a scent

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a poet who was flatulent
he was fed brown beans by his best friend
the gas came and went
with a hell of a scent
But stank less than the poems that he penned!

[Audreyvgs]

I once had a feeling of flatulend

[Hyakujo's Fox]

don't encourage it! :)

I once had a feeling of flatulence
And knew that something was soon to commence

[weissenflatz]

I once had a feeling of flatulence
And knew that something was soon to commence
When the odours started to erupt

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I once had a feeling of flatulence
And knew that something was soon to commence
When the odours started
to erupt, I darted

[funkytuba]

I once had a feeling of flatulence
And knew that something would soon commence
When the odours started
to erupt, I darted
out side to protect her from my scents

[funkytuba]

He was the oldest man in London
his family - he just shunned 'em
He would wander the streets
smoke delusional weeds
and ponder the latest conundrum

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The best way to cook chicken fillet

[Smartypants]

The best way to cook chicken fillet
Is with wine in a cast iron skillet

[Aphrodite]

The best way to cook chicken fillet
Is with wine in a cast iron skillet
and roasted red pepper

[madasacutsnake]

The best way to cook chicken fillet
Is with wine in a cast iron skillet
and roasted red pepper
Falls to bits like a leper

[trisherina]

The best way to cook chicken fillet
Is with wine in a cast iron skillet
and roasted red pepper
Falls to bits like a leper
So give me your gullet; I'll fill it.

[funkytuba]

The crickets are chirping quite loudly

[Aphrodite]

The crickets are chirping quite loudly
and calling for partners quite proudly

[ally]

The crickets are chirping quite loudly
and calling for partners quite proudly
they're rubbing their thighs

[weissenflatz]

The crickets are chirping quite loudly
and calling for partners quite proudly
they're rubbing their thighs
but I like crickets fried

[ally]

The crickets are chirping quite loudly
and calling for partners quite proudly
they're rubbing their thighs
but I like them fried
sat safe in my tummy so soundly

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I shall only eat nuts, assorted

[Smartypants]

I shall only eat nuts, assorted
As for cheese, pretty please, just imported

[weissenflatz]

I shall only eat nuts, assorted
As for cheese, pretty please, just imported
For those local brands

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I shall only eat nuts, assorted
As for cheese, pretty please, just imported
For those local brands
will swell all my glands

[straymonk]

I shall only eat nuts, assorted
As for cheese, pretty please, just imported
For those local brands
will swell all my glands
and my face will become distorted

[weissenflatz]

I'll redo my face using botox

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'll redo my face using botox
Then I'll check in for a detox

[funkytuba]

I'll redo my face using botox
Then I'll check in for a detox
New boobs and new nails

[SmirkingRevenge]

I'll redo my face using botox
Then I'll check in for a detox
New boobs and new nails
A new face and new tail.

[funkytuba]

I'll redo my face using botox
Then I'll check in for a detox
New boobs and new nails
A new face and new tail
and then I'll be ready for Xerocs

[Dark Chocolate]

i hope that you find this amusin

[lapietra]

i hope that you find this amusin
if not, i'm prepared for a bruisin

[weissenflatz]

i hope that you find this amusin
if not, i'm prepared for a bruisin
so far nobody laughed

[Hyakujo's Fox]

i hope that you find this amusin
if not, i'm prepared for a bruisin
so far nobody laughed
some very nearly barfed

[straymonk]

i hope that you find this amusin
if not, i'm prepared for a bruisin
so far nobody laughed
some very nearly barfed
from these rhymes which are so darned confusin

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I struggle when I try to charm snakes

[Smartypants]

I struggle when I try to charm snakes
When I hold my flute, how my arm shakes!

[weissenflatz]

I struggle when I try to charm snakes
When I hold my flute, how my arm shakes!
I twist and I shout

[slurpeedemon]

I struggle when I try to charm snakes
When I hold my flute, how my arm shakes!
I twist and I shout
Like a person with gout

[dinzdale]

I struggle when I try to charm snakes
When I hold my flute, how my arm shakes!
I twist and I shout
Like a person with gout
So the snake goes stiff and then brakes

[lapietra]

If you like something, buy lots of them

[rapscalious rob]

If you like something, buy lots of them
buy boxes and bottles and pots of them

[lapietra]

If you like something, buy lots of them
buy boxes and bottles and pots of them
'cos if you run out

[rapscalious rob]

If you like something, buy lots of them
buy boxes and bottles and pots of them
'cos if you run out
in the midst of a draught

[Hyakujo's Fox]

If you like something, buy lots of them
buy boxes and bottles and pots of them
'cos if you run out
in the midst of a draught
You'll have to deprive robots of them

[straymonk]

All this rain gets quite depressing

[Hyakujo's Fox]

All this rain gets quite depressing
sucks all the fun from cross dressing

[Audreyvgs]

All this rain gets quite depressing
sucks all the fun from cross dressing
makes the feathers lie flat

[madasacutsnake]

All this rain gets quite depressing
sucks all the fun from cross dressing
makes the feathers lie flat
My chest hair's like a mat

[Audreyvgs]

All this rain gets quite depressing
sucks all the fun from cross dressing
makes the feathers lie flat
My chest hair's like a mat
and my make-up is down, I'm confessing

[Aphrodite]

I'm thinking that my dog has fleas

[Coffee]

I'm thinking that my dog has fleas
He's chewing like hell at his knees

[Audreyvgs]

I'm thinking that my dog has fleas
He's chewing like hell at his knees
he's lost half his hair

[madasacutsnake]

I'm thinking that my dog has fleas
He's chewing like hell at his knees
he's lost half his hair
Looks like a steak, done rare

[dinzdale]

I'm thinking that my dog has fleas
He's chewing like hell at his knees
he's lost half his hair
Looks like a steak, done rare
Now I'm itching too, oh puh-leeze!

[Audreyvgs]

My dog has a brand new flea collar

[Aphrodite]

My dog has a brand new flea collar
It didn't cost more than a dollar

[dinzdale]

My dog has a brand new flea collar
It didn't cost more than a dollar
It's clamped to his nuts

[Aphrodite]

My dog has a brand new flea collar
It didn't cost more than a dollar
It's clamped to his nuts
and now when he struts

[dinzdale]

My dog has a brand new flea collar
It didn't cost more than a dollar
It's clamped to his nuts
and now when he struts
he knows that the bitches will follow

[lapietra]

I wish it was time to go home

[Coffee]

I wish it was time to go home
or even break time for a scone.

[madasacutsnake]

I wish it was time to go home
or even break time for a scone
In England they say "skon"

[Aphrodite]

I wish it was time to go home
or even break time for a scone
In England they say "skon"
and jam they spread on

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I wish it was time to go home
or even break time for a scone
In England they say "skon"
and jam they spread on
and as Devonshire tea it is known

[Audreyvgs]

My Weenie's all twisted and bent

[Coffee]

My Weenie's all twisted and bent
to whom in the fark was it lent?

[Audreyvgs]

My Weenie's all twisted and bent
to whom in the fark was it lent?
Well, the groceries got stuck

[RuneT]

My Weenie's all twisted and bent
to whom in the fark was it lent?
Well, the groceries got stuck
In the door of my truck

[Audreyvgs]

My Weenie's all twisted and bent
to whom in the fark was it lent?
Well, the groceries got stuck
In the door of my truck
while reviewing the Penthouse you sent!

[straymonk]

Those tall tales can get really twisted

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Those tall tales can get really twisted
Exaggeration must be resisted

[Audreyvgs]

Those tall tales can get really twisted
Exaggeration must be resisted
when Smarty gets back

[zenbabe]

Those tall tales can get really twisted
Exaggeration must be resisted
when Smarty gets back
We will surely attack

[Audreyvgs]

I can think about saying it, but I just can't do it. Carry on.

[madasacutsnake]

There's a limit to what rhymes with twisted. Ironically so.

[Aphrodite]

Those tall tales can get really twisted
Exaggeration must be resisted
when Smarty gets back
We will surely attack
with smooches to the limp wristed




I couldn't wait. The thought of someone saying 'fisted' was too much to bear.

[Audreyvgs]

O thank you, birthday girl.

[madasacutsnake]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Aphrodite
[B]Those tall tales can get really twisted
Exaggeration must be resisted
when Smarty gets back
We will surely attack
with smooches to the limp wristed


*Best Monty Burns voice*

Excellent.........

[madasacutsnake]

We're for the high jump when Smarty gets back

[Hyakujo's Fox]

We're for the high jump when Smarty gets back
He'll make us work off the poetic slack

[Smartypants]

We're for the high jump when Smarty gets back
He'll make us work off the poetic slack
With limp wrists all rested,

[straymonk]

We're for the high jump when Smarty gets back
He'll make us work off the poetic slack
With limp wrists all rested,
our rhymes will be tested

[madasacutsnake]

We're for the high jump when Smarty gets back
He'll make us work off the poetic slack
With limp wrists all rested,
our rhymes will be tested
I'm not scared of him

[RuneT]

Theres not much I like in the morning

[Aphrodite]

Theres not much I like in the morning
consider this your first warning

[RuneT]

Theres not much I like in the morning
consider this your first warning
but you know, wink wink

[Aphrodite]

Theres not much I like in the morning
consider this your first warning
but you know, wink wink
The first thing I think

[madasacutsnake]

Theres not much I like in the morning
consider this your first warning
but you know, wink wink
The first thing I think
Is of the pool boy and his monstrous awning

[RuneT]

Theres not much I like in the morning
consider this your first warning
but you know, wink wink
The first think I think
Is to take you and reconsider in the evening

[weissenflatz]

Prepare for a trip in the mountain

[RuneT]

Prepare for a trip in the mountain
windproof warm clothes and water from the fountain

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Prepare for a trip in the mountain
windproof warm clothes and water from the fountain
I'll go up with barefeet

[madasacutsnake]

Prepare for a trip in the mountain
windproof warm clothes and water from the fountain
I'll go up with barefeet
This tinea I'll beat

[Audreyvgs]

Prepare for a trip in the mountain
windproof warm clothes and water from the fountain
I'll go up with barefeet
This tinea I'll beat
blue toes keep my mind off the headspin

[zenbabe]

I think I will go to the beach

[Audreyvgs]

I think I will go to the beach
and I hope that my hair will soon bleach

[Smartypants]

I think I will go to the beach
and I hope that my hair will soon bleach
Maybe then folks won't notice

[trisherina]

I think I will go to the beach
and I hope that my hair will soon bleach
Maybe then folks won't notice
How puny my boat is

[Smartypants]

I think I will go to the beach
and I hope that my hair will soon bleach
Maybe then folks won't notice
How puny my boat is
Or how sand up my stern makes me eetch.

[Aphrodite]

The candle, it flickers and dances

[Audreyvgs]

The candle, it flickers and dances
and my mind recalls countless romances

[Smartypants]

The candle, it flickers and dances
and my mind recalls countless romances
I've learned flames often burn me

[Audreyvgs]

The candle, it flickers and dances
and my mind recalls countless romances
I've learned flames often burn me
BUT wax on my tummy

[RuneT]

The candle, it flickers and dances
and my mind recalls countless romances
I've learned flames often burn me
BUT wax on my tummy
reminds me that its worth taking chances

[Audreyvgs]

I predict that until they stop talking

[Smartypants]

I predict that until they stop talking
I'll be balking... and balking... and balking

[Audreyvgs]

I predict that until they stop talking
I'll be balking... and balking... and balking
the less they reply

[Aphrodite]

I predict that until they stop talking
I'll be balking... and balking... and balking
the less they reply
the harder I'll try

[Smartypants]

I predict that until they stop talking
I'll be balking... and balking... and balking
the less they reply
the harder I'll try
to tone down my incessant squawking.

:p

[madasacutsnake]

For salad fingers you should be punished

[Audreyvgs]

For salad fingers you should be punished











and you too for leaving me no rhyming words at the end of sentences!! :p

[Smartypants]

For salad fingers you should be punished
Sheesh, I rhyme-hunted first, then I pun-fished.




Hey, it may not be in context, but I tried. :p

[Audreyvgs]

For salad fingers you should be punished
Sheesh, I rhyme-hunted first, then I pun-fished.
oh man, sunfished I could have used

[trisherina]

For salad fingers you should be punished
Sheesh, I rhyme-hunted first, then I pun-fished.
oh man, sunfished I could have used
this limerick is looking abused

[Smartypants]

For salad fingers you should be punished
Sheesh, I rhyme-hunted first, then I pun-fished.
oh man, sunfished I could have used
this limerick is looking abused
We'd most probably best left it unfinshed.

[zenbabe]

To date that is the worst one i've seen

[Smartypants]

To date that is the worst one i've seen
If you'll pardon my venting my spleen

[zenbabe]

To date that is the worst one i've seen
If you'll pardon my venting my spleen
That sounds like it hurts

[Coffee]

To date that is the worst one i've seen
If you'll pardon my venting my spleen
That sounds like it hurts
when your aorta spurts

[zenbabe]

To date that is the worst one i've seen
If you'll pardon my venting my spleen
That sounds like it hurts
when your aorta spurts
Not my thing if you know what I mean

[Smartypants]

A poetry purist from Limerick,

[Audreyvgs]

A poetry purist from Limerick,
was caught one time dipping his little wick

[zenbabe]

A poetry purist from Limerick,
was caught one time dipping his little wick
In a girl from Chicago

[Smartypants]

A poetry purist from Limerick,
was caught one time dipping his little wick
In a girl from Chicago
(a hellish virago)

[madasacutsnake]

A poetry purist from Limerick,
was caught one time dipping his little wick
In a girl from Chicago
(a hellish virago)
Who complained it was short and not......girthy.

[Audreyvgs]

:p

[Smartypants]

LOL!

A gal from "America's Penis"*










* FL :p

[Coffee]

A gal from "America's Penis"
Did something that seemed very heinous

[Smartypants]

A gal from "America's Penis"
Did something that seemed very heinous
She taught her friend's terrier

[Coffee]

A gal from "America's Penis"
Did something that seemed very heinous
She taught her friend's terrier
to piss on cop barriers

[trisherina]

A gal from "America's Penis"
Did something that seemed very heinous
She taught her friend's terrier
to piss on cop barriers
Which goes to show; girls are from Venus.

[Smartypants]

A priest and a cop and a rabbi,

[madasacutsnake]

A priest and a cop and a rabbi,
Smoked grass in order to get high

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A priest and a cop and a rabbi,
Smoked grass in order to get high
when the priest knelt to pray

[Smartypants]

A priest and a cop and a rabbi,
Smoked grass in order to get high
when the priest knelt to pray
said the rabbi, "oy vey!"

[Aphrodite]

A priest and a cop and a rabbi,
Smoked grass in order to get high
when the priest knelt to pray
said the rabbi, "oy vey!"
when the cop said his dealer was dry

[Audreyvgs]

I prefer to call it Chad's Wang

[Coffee]

I prefer to call it Chad's Wang
I kicked it, and higher he sang

[Audreyvgs]

I prefer to call it Chad's Wang
I kicked it, and higher he sang
I was talkin about votes

[Smartypants]

I prefer to call it Chad's Wang
I kicked it, and higher he sang
I was talkin about votes
That the danglers connote

[madasacutsnake]

I prefer to call it Chad's Wang
I kicked it, and higher he sang
I was talkin about votes
That the danglers connote
I never knew they could vote, well dang!

[Coffee]

da Dum ditty Dum ditty Dum

[Audreyvgs]

da Dum ditty Dum ditty Dum
de doo doo de doo doo de Hum

[Smartypants]

da Dum ditty Dum ditty Dum
de Doo doo de Doo doo de Hum
tra La la tra La la

[madasacutsnake]

da Dum ditty Dum ditty Dum
de Doo doo de Doo doo de Hum
tra La la tra La la
do re me fa so la

[Audreyvgs]

da Dum ditty Dum ditty Dum
de Doo doo de Doo doo de Hum
tra La la tra La la
do re me fa so la
Do you always have to sing when you come?



:eek:

[Hyakujo's Fox]

da Dum ditty Dum ditty Dum
de Doo doo de Doo doo de Hum
tra La la tra La la
do re me fa so la
yo ho ho and a bottle o' rum

[Hyakujo's Fox]

So, I got a little distracted

[Coffee]

So, I got a little distracted
because my back teeth were impacted

[madasacutsnake]

So, I got a little distracted
because my back teeth were impacted
My bowels are too

[Coffee]

So, I got a little distracted
because my back teeth were impacted
My bowels are too
from that food at the zoo

[Hyakujo's Fox]

So, I got a little distracted
because my back teeth were impacted
My bowels are too
from that food at the zoo
whose passage has grown quite protracted

[madasacutsnake]

Manual removal is in order

[Coffee]

Manual removal is in order
But the tool on hand seems a bit shorter

[madasacutsnake]

Manual removal is in order
But the tool on hand seems a bit shorter
We should post a poll

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Manual removal is in order
But the tool on hand seems a bit shorter
We should post a poll
on what fills a hole

[RuneT]

Manual removal is in order
But the tool on hand seems a bit shorter
We should post a poll
on what fills a hole
Because if it's too big its murder

[joppa.gal]

"Leopardskin Pumps!" said the tramp,

[Smartypants]

"Leopardskin Pumps!" said the tramp,
as she growled and started her vamp

[Hyakujo's Fox]

"Leopardskin Pumps!" said the tramp,
as she growled and started her vamp
"I'm sexy, you know it!"

[Aphrodite]

"Leopardskin Pumps!" said the tramp,
as she growled and started her vamp
"I'm sexy, you know it!"
"and these shoes will show it."

[dinzdale]

"Leopardskin Pumps!" said the tramp,
as she growled and started her vamp
"I'm sexy, you know it!"
"and these shoes will show it."
though she hobbled a bit with a cramp

[joppa.gal]

The plumber o'er pipes he went,

[Gatsby]

The plumber o'er pipes he went,
After viewing clogged pipes he would vent:

[Coffee]

The plumber o'er pipes he went,
After viewing clogged pipes he would vent:
YOU MORONS FLUSHED CLUMPING LITTER!?

[funkytuba]

The plumber o'er pipes he went,
After viewing clogged pipes he would vent:
YOU MORONS FLUSHED CLUMPING LITTER!?
NOW I'M ALL A-TWITTER!!

[joppa.gal]

The plumber o'er pipes he went,
After viewing clogged pipes he would vent:
YOU MORONS FLUSHED CLUMPING LITTER!?
NOW I'M ALL A-TWITTER!!
THE CAT's CRAP HAS BECOME AN ALL DAY EVENT!

[funkytuba]

We must try as hard was we can

[Hyakujo's Fox]

We must try as hard as we can
to eat our daily serve of bran

[Gatsby]

We must try as hard as we can
to eat our daily serve of bran
Constipation we loathe

[Hyakujo's Fox]

We must try as hard as we can
to eat our daily serve of bran
Constipation we loathe
to be regular we strove

[funkytuba]

We must try as hard as we can
to eat our daily serve of bran
Constipation we loathe
to be regular we strove
and to make all our limericks scan

[joppa.gal]

The lady's all out of her meds!

[Coffee]

The lady's all out of her meds!
And now she's gone out of her head

[funkytuba]

The lady's all out of her meds!
And now she's gone out of her head
her erratic gyrations

[zenbabe]

The lady's all out of her meds!
And now she's gone out of her head
her erratic gyrations
And bizzare creamations

[joppa.gal]

The lady's all out of her meds!
And now she's gone out of her head
her erratic gyrations
And bizzare creamations
Have led docs to try shock treatment instead.

[madasacutsnake]

The PC term now is ECT

[trisherina]

The PC term now is ECT
Come to Canada; get it for free

[madasacutsnake]

The PC term now is ECT
Come to Canada; get it for free
Here it also costs nix

[zenbabe]

The PC term now is ECT
Come to Canada; get it for free
Here it also costs nix
Just send nekkid pix

[trisherina]

The PC term now is ECT
Come to Canada; get it for free
Here it also costs nix
Just send nekkid pix
And we'll make it a show on TV!

[joppa.gal]

"I love my new car!" Cried Lala.

[Audreyvgs]

"I love my new car!" Cried Lala.
it's perfect to go to the gala!

[funkytuba]

"I love my new car!" Cried Lala.
it's perfect to go to the gala!
and with the top down

[Smartypants]

"I love my new car!" Cried Lala.
it's perfect to go to the gala!
and with the top down
I'll unfurl my gown

[Audreyvgs]

"I love my new car!" Cried Lala.
it's perfect to go to the gala!
and with the top down
I'll unfurl my gown
and air out my beautiful ta-ta(s)

[dinzdale]

I'm trying to remember the words

[zenbabe]

I'm trying to remember the words
That I used when I found all the turds

[funkytuba]

I'm trying to remember the words
That I used when I found all the turds
piled under my bed

[joppa.gal]

I'm trying to remember the words
That I used when I found all the turds
piled under my bed
smelt like something dead!

[trisherina]

I'm trying to remember the words
That I used when I found all the turds
piled under my bed
smelt like something dead!
And who'd guess that they travel in herds?

[Audreyvgs]

:p

[funkytuba]

Originally posted by Audreyvgs
:p
The lone silly smilie, it grins.

[trisherina]

The lone silly smilie, it grins.
It toils not; neither it spins.

[joppa.gal]

The lone silly smilie, it grins.
It toils not; neither it spins.
A pale yellow hue

[Coffee]

The lone silly smilie, it grins.
It toils not; neither it spins.
A pale yellow hue
tongue, sticking at you