Limericks for the Purist (communal)

[RuneT]

The lone silly smilie, it grins.
It toils not; neither it spins.
A pale yellow hue
tongue, sticking at you
you have had enough whiskey, Dinz

[zenbabe]

what happened to those cyber nanny jobs?

[daverbee]

what happened to those cyber nanny jobs?
Have they all been taken by slobs?

[Coffee]

what happened to those cyber nanny jobs?
Have they all been taken by slobs?
childcare through webcams

[trisherina]

what happened to those cyber nanny jobs?
Have they all been taken by slobs?
childcare through webcams
Instead of those prams

[funkytuba]

what happened to those cyber nanny jobs?
Have they all been taken by slobs?
childcare through webcams
Instead of those prams
a lucrative thought of charles schwab's

[funkytuba]

for violins call mr moel

[dinzdale]

for violins call mr moel
our favorite doozer in his hole

[Coffee]

for violins call mr moel
our favorite doozer in his hole
his varnish is thick

[joppa.gal]

for violins call mr moel
our favorite doozer in his hole
his varnish is thick
his quips are quick

[Gatsby]

for violins call mr moel
our favorite doozer in his hole
his varnish is thick
his quips are quick
moel's musings we extol

[zenbabe]

I admit, I can be quite proud

[dinzdale]

I admit, I can be quite proud
though I try not to say it too loud

[zenbabe]

I admit, I can be quite proud
though I try not to say it too loud
But sometimes I slip

[Smartypants]

I admit, I can be quite proud
though I try not to say it too loud
But sometimes I slip
And I shoot from the hip

[joppa.gal]

I admit, I can be quite proud
though I try not to say it too loud
But sometimes I slip
And I shoot from the hip
When I voice my distaste in a crowd.

[dinzdale]

The usual suspects were found

[Coffee]

The usual suspects were found
and lined up face down on the ground

[Gatsby]

The usual suspects were found
and lined up face down on the ground
until one of them 'fessed

[Smartypants]

The usual suspects were found
and lined up face down on the ground
until one of them 'fessed
that his pants he had messed

[Audreyvgs]

The usual suspects were found
and lined up face down on the ground
until one of them 'fessed
that his pants he had messed
and in seconds there was no one around!

[RuneT]

While reading the daily planet

[Coffee]

While reading the daily planet
growing incensed, I said "Damn it"

[Gatsby]

While reading the daily planet
growing incensed, I said "Damn it"
Superman's dead,

[Hyakujo's Fox]

While reading the daily planet
growing incensed, I said "Damn it"
Superman's dead,
knocked on the head

[trisherina]

While reading the daily planet
growing incensed, I said "Damn it"
Superman's dead,
knocked on the head
If this is the news, they should ban it.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I didn't take heed of the warning

[Zaftig]

I didn't take heed of the warning
I drank all the liquor by morning

[Aphrodite]

I didn't take heed of the warning
I drank all the liquor by morning
At lunch I was wasted

[AllegroNg]

I didn't take heed of the warning
I drank all the liquor by morning
At lunch I was wasted
And that turkey I basted

[Spicy Jack]

I didn't take heed of the warning
I drank all the liquor by morning
At lunch I was wasted
And that turkey I basted
With a little gyrating and boning

[Gatsby]

The spirits are gathering near

[trisherina]

The spirits are gathering near
We prepare for a night of fake fear

[Gatsby]

The spirits are gathering near
We prepare for a night of fake fear
Orange pumpkins are glowing

[daverbee]

The spirits are gathering near
We prepare for a night of fake fear
Orange pumpkins are glowing
Decorations are showing

[madasacutsnake]

The spirits are gathering near
We prepare for a night of fake fear
Orange pumpkins are glowing
Decorations are showing
Nix as scary as Germaine Greer.

[madasacutsnake]

Today I'm starting at my new job

[Gatsby]

Today I'm starting at my new job
Here's hoping it's not more les miserables

[Hyakujo's Fox]

*cough*

Today I'm starting at my new job
Here's hoping they pay well at the mob
I could make a killing

[Aphrodite]

Today I'm starting at my new job
Here's hoping they pay well at the mob
I could make a killing
they say that it's thrilling

[daverbee]

Today I'm starting at my new job
Here's hoping they pay well at the mob
I could make a killing
they say that it's thrilling
as long as you avoid the lynch mob.

[trisherina]

I sit with my head in my hands

[madasacutsnake]

I sit with my head in my hands
Then I throw it to see where it lands

[daverbee]

I sit with my head in my hands
Then I throw it to see where it lands
It bounces and rolls on

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I sit with my head in my hands
Then I throw it to see where it lands
It bounces and rolls on
out the door and is gone

[daverbee]

I sit with my head in my hands
Then I throw it to see where it lands
It bounces and rolls on
out the door and is gone
leaving me with expos-ed glands.

[zenbabe]

Another four years of hell

[Coffee]

Another four years of hell
a world hears it's death knell

[Aphrodite]

Another four years of hell
a world hears it's death knell
For whom the bell tolls

[Coffee]

Another four years of hell
a world hears it's death knell
For whom the bell tolls
no safe hidey holes

[madasacutsnake]

Another four years of hell
a world hears it's death knell
For whom the bell tolls
no safe hidey holes
Cruel world, I bid thee farewell

[Aphrodite]

It's time that I get off my butt

[zenbabe]

It's time that I get off my butt
I need to get out of this rutt

[Aphrodite]

It's time that I get off my butt
I need to get out of this rutt
Apathy numbs me

[zenbabe]

It's time that I get off my butt
I need to get out of this rutt
Apathy numbs me
I feel just like Gumby

[funkytuba]

It's time that I get off my butt
I need to get out of this rutt
Apathy numbs me
I feel just like Gumby
all squishy and soft round my gutt

[funkytuba]

Today I'm starting at my new job
Here's hoping it's not more les miserables
I hate barricades

[zenbabe]

Today I'm starting at my new job
Here's hoping it's not more les miserables
I hate barricades
And my boss's tirades

[Spicy Jack]

Today I'm starting at my new job
Here's hoping it's not more les miserables
I hate barricades
And my boss's tirades
I hope they don't think I'm a slob

[funkytuba]

Okay, so that wasn't so great

[Spicy Jack]

Okay, so that wasn't so great
But, baby, you know how I hate

[funkytuba]

Okay, so that wasn't so great
But, baby, you know how I hate
lim'riks incomplete

[zenbabe]

Okay, so that wasn't so great
But, baby, you know how I hate
lim'riks incomplete
computers obsolete

[funkytuba]

Okay, so that wasn't so great
But, baby, you know how I hate
lim'riks incomplete
computers obsolete
plus cats, they all make me irate

[Gatsby]

We all try our best to make rhymes

[funkytuba]

We all try our best to make rhymes
but there have been several times

[Coffee]

We all try our best to make rhymes
but there have been several times
the group has just flopped

[Gatsby]

We all try our best to make rhymes
but there have been several times
the group has just flopped
many syllables we've dropped

[zenbabe]

We all try our best to make rhymes
but there have been several times
the group has just flopped
many syllables we've dropped
But I guess it's the least of all crimes

[funkytuba]

This coffee is truly horrific

[Coffee]

This coffee is truly horrific
It's effects are quite soporific

[Hyakujo's Fox]

This coffee is truly horrific
It's effects are quite soporific
It's made me so dreamy

[zenbabe]

This coffee is truly horrific
It's effects are quite soporific
It's made me so dreamy
Perhaps it's to creamy

[Gatsby]

This coffee is truly horrific
It's effects are quite soporific
It's made me so dreamy
Perhaps it's too creamy
And the morning breath's truly terrific

[Audreyvgs]

You get what you pay for when coffee is free

[Gatsby]

You get what you pay for when coffee is free
But coffee that's free is better than tea

[Audreyvgs]

You get what you pay for when coffee is free
But coffee that's free is better than tea
they're both kinda weak

[Hyakujo's Fox]

You get what you pay for when coffee is free
But coffee that's free is better than tea
they're both kinda weak
so the outlook is bleak

[Spicy Jack]

You get what you pay for when coffee is free
But coffee that's free is better than tea
they're both kinda weak
so the outlook is bleak
and the colors reminicent of pee

[Gatsby]

A toy that breaks isn't worth it

[trisherina]

A toy that breaks isn't worth it
If you want a Christmas that's perfect

[zenbabe]

A toy that breaks isn't worth it
If you want a Christmas that's perfect
Make something from scratch

[trisherina]

A toy that breaks isn't worth it
If you want a Christmas that's perfect
Make something from scratch
Then get out a match

[zenbabe]

A toy that breaks isn't worth it
If you want a Christmas that's perfect
Make something from scratch
Then get out a match
And 'Tis all the season to shit!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I have walked with a limp ever since

[joppa.gal]

I have walked with a limp ever since
I wrestled Karate champ Vince

[Gatsby]

I have walked with a limp ever since
I wrestled Karate champ Vince
Toss'd o'er his shoulder

[madasacutsnake]

I have walked with a limp ever since
I wrestled Karate champ Vince
Toss'd o'er his shoulder
And left there to moulder

[joppa.gal]

I have walked with a limp ever since
I wrestled Karate champ Vince
Toss'd o'er his shoulder
And left there to moulder
I'm pressing charges if he left his prints!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've received some legal advice

[funkytuba]

I've received some legal advice
and it's clear, adroit and precise

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've received some legal advice
and it's clear, adroit and precise
I must cease and desist

[Spicy Jack]

I've received some legal advice
and it's clear, adroit and precise
I must cease and desist
and put down my fist

[Coffee]

I've received some legal advice
and it's clear, adroit and precise
I must cease and desist
and put down my fist
and simply learn how to play nice.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Do you have some pants I could borrow?

[trisherina]

Do you have some pants I could borrow?
I'll gladly return them tomorrow

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Do you have some pants I could borrow?
I'll gladly return them tomorrow
I've a big date tonight

[trisherina]

Do you have some pants I could borrow?
I'll gladly return them tomorrow
I've a big date tonight
But my wallet is light

[Marcus Bales]

Do you have some pants I could borrow?
I'll gladly return them tomorrow
I've a big date tonight
But my wallet is light
And your panting would be such sweet sorrow.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a young man called Trevor

[madasacutsnake]

There once was a young man called Trevor
Who when he peed took forever and ever

[trisherina]

There once was a young man called Trevor
Who when he peed took forever and ever
He'd start a good stream

[Marcus Bales]

There once was a young man called Trevor
Who when he peed took forever and ever
He'd start a good stream
From which gush it would seem

[trisherina]

There once was a young man called Trevor
Who when he peed took forever and ever
He'd start a good stream
From which gush it would seem
He could launch off the Shuttle Endeavour.

[Marcus Bales]

There once was a young man called Trevor
Who when he peed took forever and ever
He'd start a good stream
From which gush it would seem
He could launch off the Shuttle Endeavour.


__________________
oderint dum metuant

Wow!

[Marcus Bales]

Believe what you want to believe

[trisherina]

Believe what you want to believe
And deceive who you want to deceive,

[Gatsby]

Believe what you want to believe
And deceive who you want to deceive,
'Cause it's all fun and games

[trisherina]

Believe what you want to believe
And deceive who you want to deceive,
'Cause it's all fun and games
'Til they start taking names,

[zenbabe]

Believe what you want to believe
And deceive who you want to deceive,
'Cause it's all fun and games
'Til they start taking names,
And you become the latest pet peeve!

[Marcus Bales]

I'm glad that you're finding some friends

[trisherina]

I'm glad that you're finding some friends
(Or at least maybe one who pretends)

[joppa.gal]

I'm glad that you're finding some friends
(Or at least maybe one who pretends)
Shrieks and hugs upon greeting

[Marcus Bales]

I'm glad that you're finding some friends
(Or at least maybe one who pretends)
Shrieks and hugs upon greeting
Are as fake and as fleeting

[Gatsby]

I'm glad that you're finding some friends
(Or at least maybe one who pretends)
Shrieks and hugs upon greeting
Are as fake and as fleeting
As Malarkey's Mercedes Benz

[trisherina]

I'm going to have to retire

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'm going to have to retire
All this work just makes me perspire

[funkytuba]

I'm going to have to retire
All this work just makes me perspire
To quit and abscond

[trisherina]

I'm going to have to retire
All this work just makes me perspire
To quit and abscond
And run off with a blonde

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'm going to have to retire
All this work just makes me perspire
To quit and abscond
And run off with a blonde
Has always been my one true desire

[funkytuba]

This schnauser, it makes me upset

[trisherina]

This schnauser, it makes me upset
It really blows goats as a pet

[Hyakujo's Fox]

This schnauser, it makes me upset
It really blows goats as a pet
All day it is farting

[funkytuba]

This schnauser, it makes me upset
It really blows goats as a pet
All day it is farting
and constantly darting

[Marcus Bales]

This schnauser, it makes me upset
It really blows goats as a pet
All day it is farting
And constantly darting
Around in that dog-goat duet.

[trisherina]

The last thing you notice at death

[funkytuba]

The last thing you notice at death
as you clutch your penultimate breath

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The last thing you notice at death
as you clutch your penultimate breath
is the tunnel of light

[Aphrodite]

The last thing you notice at death
as you clutch your penultimate breath
is the tunnel of light
that comes into sight

[Marcus Bales]

The last thing you notice at death
as you clutch your penultimate breath
is the tunnel of light
that comes into sight
then surprise! you're onstage in the Scottish play.

[Large Marge]

The last thing you notice at death
as you clutch your penultimate breath
is the tunnel of light
that comes into sight
then surprise! you're onstage in the Scottish play.

Hey, that doesn't rhyme!

The last thing you notice at death
as you clutch your penultimate breath
is the tunnel of light
that comes into sight
as you head to the gates with your best

[Marcus Bales]

The last thing you notice at death
as you clutch your penultimate breath
is the tunnel of light
that comes into sight
then surprise! you're onstage in the Scottish play.

>Hey, that doesn't rhyme!< Large Marge

Um, it does if you substitute the title in your head for the Scottish play.

[Large Marge]

The last thing you notice at death
as you clutch your penultimate breath
is the tunnel of light
that comes into sight
then surprise! you're onstage in the Scottish play.

>Hey, that doesn't rhyme!< Large Marge

Um, it does if you substitute the title in your head for the Scottish play.

:rolleyes:

[trisherina]

A sad lady, wringing her hands

[Marcus Bales]

A sad lady, wringing her hands,
Dismayed by the thes or and ands,

[Large Marge]

A sad lady, wringing her hands,
Dismayed by the thes or and ands,
Said, "What gobbly gook,"

[Marcus Bales]

A sad lady, wringing her hands,
Dismayed by the thes or and ands,
Said, "What gobbly gook --
I'm sorry I took

[Large Marge]

A sad lady, wringing her hands,
Dismayed by the thes or and ands,
Said, "What gobbly gook --
I'm sorry I took
English instead of band."

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She asked would I rub on some oil

[Large Marge]

She asked would I rub on some oil
I began but spotted a boil

[Marcus Bales]

She asked would I rub on some oil
I began but I spotted a boil
I popped it. She screamed

[joppa.gal]

She asked would I rub on some oil
I began but I spotted a boil
I popped it. She screamed,
"Quick! Get the epoxy cream!"

[Large Marge]

She asked would I rub on some oil
I began but I spotted a boil
I popped it. She screamed,
"Quick! Get the epoxy cream!"
And finally I began to recoil

[funkytuba]

The wineglass was left up above

[Marcus Bales]

The wineglass was left up above
On the floor lay two shoes and a glove

[funkytuba]

The wineglass was left up above
On the floor lay two shoes and a glove
The blood-spattered wall

[Large Marge]

The wineglass was left up above
On the floor lay two shoes and a glove
The blood-spattered wall
to clean, was too tall

[funkytuba]

The wineglass was left up above
On the floor lay two shoes and a glove
The blood-spattered wall
to clean, was too tall
And so I get 20 for love

[Large Marge]

The wineglass was left up above
On the floor lay two shoes and a glove
The blood-spattered wall
to clean, was too tall
And so I get 20 for love

very nice. ;)

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I was lost in the jungle one day

[Large Marge]

I was lost in the jungle one day
when an elephant came my way

[Marcus Bales]

I was lost in the jungle one day
when an elephant wandered my way
I said to him "Howdah!"

[funkytuba]

I was lost in the jungle one day
when an elephant wandered my way
I said to him "Howdah!"
"Would you like some chowdah!?"

[funkytuba]

very nice. ;)
:) :rolleyes: :cool:

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I was lost in the jungle one day
when an elephant wandered my way
I said to him "Howdah!"
"Would you like some chowdah!?"
"I'd prefer the crab bisque, if I may"

[Marcus Bales]

A rerun of "Sex and the City"

[trisherina]

A rerun of "Sex and the City"
So overwhelmed me with pity

[Large Marge]

A rerun of "Sex and the City"
So overwhelmed me with pity
that I swore on the spot

[Large Marge]

I was lost in the jungle one day
when an elephant wandered my way
I said to him "Howdah!"
"Would you like some chowdah!?"
"I'd prefer the crab bisque, if I may"


You guys are brilliant! :D

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A rerun of "Sex and the City"
So overwhelmed me with pity
that I swore on the spot
that I simply would not

[trisherina]

A rerun of "Sex and the City"
So overwhelmed me with pity
that I swore on the spot
that I simply would not
let life pass, like some sad Walter Mitty.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I haven't been back for a week

[Large Marge]

I haven't been back for a week
and am afraid to even peek

[Aphrodite]

I haven't been back for a week
and am afraid to even peek
for there's been so much fighting

[trisherina]

I haven't been back for a week
and am afraid to even peek
for there's been so much fighting
and such snide backbiting

[Large Marge]

I haven't been back for a week
and am afraid to even peek
for there's been so much fighting
and such snide backbiting
that it's solace and quiet I seek

[Marcus Bales]

I look out the window; it's snowing

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I look out the window; it's snowing
and my need to escape is growing

[Large Marge]

I look out the window; it's snowing
and my need to escape is growing
so I packed a few bags

[funkytuba]

I look out the window; it's snowing
and my need to escape is growing
so I packed a few bags
just in case my luck lags

[Marcus Bales]

I look out the window; it's snowing
and my need to escape is growing
so I packed a few bags
just in case my luck lags
I stashed some half-way where I'm going.

[Gatsby]

Marcus Bales is a great new addition

[Large Marge]

Marcus Bales is a great new addition
swinging words like a gifted magician

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Marcus Bales is a great new addition
swinging words like a gifted magician
he's a master of rhyme

[Large Marge]

Marcus Bales is a great new addition
swinging words like a gifted magician
he's a master of rhyme
and I know that in time

[funkytuba]

Marcus Bales is a great new addition
swinging words like a gifted magician
he's a master of rhyme
and I know that in time
he'll become a splendid obstetrician

[Large Marge]

My goose wears a hat with a ribbon

[Hyakujo's Fox]

My goose wears a hat with a ribbon
Myself, I have nought but a bib on

[Marcus Bales]

My goose wears a hat with a ribbon
Myself, I have nought but a bib on
My decline and my fall

[Large Marge]

My goose wears a hat with a ribbon
Myself, I have nought but a bib on
My decline and my fall
has nothing at all

[Marcus Bales]

My goose wears a hat with a ribbon
Myself, I have nought but a bib on
My decline and my fall
has nothing at all
to do with my reading of Gibbon.

[Gatsby]

It's quite the most curious thing

[Large Marge]

It's quite the most curious thing
that honesty brings such a sting

[funkytuba]

It's quite the most curious thing
that honesty brings such a sting
when given our druthers

[Marcus Bales]

It's quite the most curious thing
that honesty brings such a sting
when given our druthers
we'd lie to our mothers

[trisherina]

It's quite the most curious thing
that honesty brings such a sting
when given our druthers
we'd lie to our mothers
and blaspheme while we kiss the Pope's ring.

[Gatsby]

Like clay in the good potter's hands

[Large Marge]

Like clay in the good potter's hands
giving birth surely has its demands

[Marcus Bales]

Like clay in the good potter's hands
giving birth surely has its demands
as metaphors go

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Like clay in the good potter's hands
giving birth surely has its demands
as metaphors go
it's painful and slow

[Marcus Bales]

Like clay in the good potter's hands
giving birth surely has its demands
as metaphors go
it's painful and slow
as the densely compacted expands.

[daverbee]

Sometimes the weather's quite cloudy

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Sometimes the weather's quite cloudy
The kids and the pets grow quite rowdy

[daverbee]

Sometimes the weather's quite cloudy
The kids and the pets grow quite rowdy
So I sit here in the rain

[Marcus Bales]

Sometimes the weather's quite cloudy
The kids and the pets grow quite rowdy
So I sit in the rain
But I do not complain

[Large Marge]

Sometimes the weather's quite cloudy
The kids and the pets grow quite rowdy
So I sit in the rain
But I do not complain
And when the taxi arrives, I say, "howdy!"

[Marcus Bales]

I sit in my favorite bar

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I sit in my favorite bar
when who do I see from afar?

[Marcus Bales]

I sit in my favorite bar
when who do I see from afar?
that guy who thinks puns

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I sit in my favorite bar
when who do I see from afar?
that guy who thinks puns
are as sweet as cream buns

[Marcus Bales]

I sit in my favorite bar
when who do I see from afar?
that guy who thinks puns
are as sweet as cream buns
Whatever the devil those are.

[Gatsby]

As the shoreline recedes from my sight

[Marcus Bales]

As the shoreline recedes from my sight
And sunset is fading to night

[Gatsby]

As the shoreline recedes from my sight
And sunset is fading to night
We'll sail o'er the waves

[Marcus Bales]

As the shoreline recedes from my sight
And sunset is fading to night
We'll sail o'er the waves
And find foreign graves

[Hyakujo's Fox]

As the shoreline recedes from my sight
And sunset is fading to night
We'll sail o'er the waves
And find foreign graves
to lie in as exiles from light

[Large Marge]

I think I'm in over my head

[Kerin]

I think I'm in over my head
I should've stayed tucked up in bed

[Marcus Bales]

I think I'm in over my head
I should've stayed tucked up in bed
with the pillows piled high

[funkytuba]

I think I'm in over my head
I should've stayed tucked up in bed
with the pillows piled high
higher minds shan't I spy

[Gatsby]

I think I'm in over my head
I should've stayed tucked up in bed
with the pillows piled high
higher minds shan't I spy
And leave this to all those more well-read.

[trisherina]

The heart of a gentleman true

[Gatsby]

The heart of a gentleman true
Is smeared on the sole of my shoe

[Marcus Bales]

The heart of a gentleman true
Is smeared on the sole of my shoe
And one heel is restin'
On his large intestine

[Gatsby]

The heart of a gentleman true
Is smeared on the sole of my shoe
And one heel is restin'
On his large intestine
How animal: love is a zoo

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I hear the call of the Jub-jub bird!

[trisherina]

I hear the call of the Jub-jub bird!
Its voice goes, "Snickersnack!" I heard.

[Marcus Bales]

I hear the call of the Jub-jub bird!
Its voice goes, "Snickersnack!" I heard.
My vorpal sword
Goes "Jub-jub" -- Lord!

[Large Marge]

I hear the call of the Jub-jub bird!
Its voice goes, "Snickersnack!" I heard.
My vorpal sword
Goes "Jub-jub" -- Lord!
And the borogroves, mimsy - word.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

As I turned your diary's pages

[madasacutsnake]

As I turned your diary's pages
Came the mother of all rages

[shmitty]

As I turned your diary's pages
Came the mother of all rages
So I went for a smoke

[Marcus Bales]

As I turned through your diary's pages
Came the mother of all rages
So I went for a smoke
With her, as a joke,

[trisherina]

As I turned through your diary's pages
Came the mother of all rages
So I went for a smoke
With her, as a joke;
We returned as amoebae, with phages.

[Marcus Bales]

My cell phone is ringing again

[trisherina]

My cell phone is ringing again
Its tones peck my brain like a hen

[Hyakujo's Fox]

My cell phone is ringing again
Its tones peck my brain like a hen
but I shall not answer
til I know where my pants are

[madasacutsnake]

My cell phone is ringing again
Its tones peck my brain like a hen
but I shall not answer
til I know where my pants are
I pray Thee to locate, Amen!

[trisherina]

A Scottish lad wearing a kilt

[madasacutsnake]

A Scottish lad wearing a kilt
Was glad he was really well built

[Smartypants]

A Scottish lad wearing a kilt
Was glad he was really well built
When once a strong gust

[Marcus Bales]

A Scottish lad wearing a kilt
Was glad he was really well built
When once a strong gust
Revealed a girl's bust
He produced not a leg but a stilt.

[trisherina]

A lady who'd lost all her hair

[madasacutsnake]

A lady who'd lost all her hair
Went round hatless just for a dare

[Marcus Bales]

A lady who'd lost all her hair
Went round hatless just for a dare
She got so much sex
Now her husband's her ex

[daverbee]

A lady who'd lost all her hair
Went round hatless just for a dare
She got so much sex
Now her husband's her ex
And she's invested her savings in Nair.

[funkytuba]

A lady who'd lost all her hair
Went round hatless just for a dare
She got so much sex
Now her husband's her ex
And she's invested her savings in Nair.

Nice!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I shall live off nothing but spam!

[madasacutsnake]

I shall live off nothing but spam!
Meaning Vicodin, Cialis or ham?

[Marcus Bales]

I shall live off nothing but spam!
Meaning Vicodin, Cialis or ham?
Just don't get them mixed

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I shall live off nothing but spam!
Meaning Vicodin, Cialis or ham?
Just don't get them mixed
or you'll grow transfixed

[Smartypants]

I shall live off nothing but spam!
Meaning Vicodin, Cialis or ham?
Just don't get them mixed
or you'll grow transfixed
And need Prozac, say 10 millgram.

[Marcus Bales]

"I shall live off nothing but spam!"
Meaning Vicodin, Cialis or ham?
Just don't get them mixed
or you'll grow transfixed
by a painlessly huge pink log jamb.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Images quite bizarre cross my mind

[daverbee]

Images quite bizarre cross my mind
making it tough to unwind

[Marcus Bales]

Images quite bizarre cross my mind
making it tough to unwind
they're huge and they're pink

[trisherina]

Images quite bizarre cross my mind
making it tough to unwind
they're huge and they're pink
Bringing me to the brink

[Kerin]

Images quite bizarre cross my mind
making it tough to unwind
they're huge and they're pink
Bringing me to the brink
All the while rendering me blind

[Marcus Bales]

I groped my way down to the gym

[trisherina]

I groped my way down to the gym
In search of a way to be slim