Limericks for the Purist (communal)

[Zatoichi]

You if want happiness in this life
Word order Yoda your great strife

[dinzdale]

You if want happiness in this life
Word order Yoda your great strife
Enough bad are ears

[Marcus Bales]

You if want happiness in this life
Word order Yoda your great strife
Enough bad are ears
That Spaniards in gears

[Hyakujo's Fox]

You if want happiness in this life
Word order Yoda your great strife
Enough bad are ears
That Spaniards in gears
And not so MUCH OF YER FAULTY BAGNOSE!

[Marcus Bales]

A faulty bagnose from Duluth

[Zatoichi]

A faulty bagnose from Duluth
Wondered if "faults" were in truth

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A faulty bagnose from Duluth
Wondered if "faults" were in truth
Unusual perfections
Seen from wrong directions

[Marcus Bales]

A faulty bagnose from Duluth
Wondered if "faults" were in truth
Unusual perfections
Seen from wrong directions
Like oldsters bemoaning the youth.

[dddrum]

A faulty bagnose from Duluth
Wondered if "faults" were in truth
Unusual perfections
Seen from wrong directions
Hence, rhymes like these needn't be smooth

[ambo]

I balanced a pea on my nose

[Zatoichi]

I balanced a pea on my nose
And aspired to the tips of my toes
A hairsbreadth of traction
Would undo my action

[Marcus Bales]

I balanced a pea on my nose
And aspired to the tips of my toes
A hairsbreadth of traction
Would undo my action --
I should eat the thing now, I suppose.

[dddrum]

The news about Old Mother Hubbard

[dinzdale]

The news about Old Mother Hubbard
who was boned when bent over a cupboard

[Marcus Bales]

The news about Old Mother Hubbard
Is bad: she was found in her cupboard

[dddrum]

Hmmm... which one? WHICH ONE??? Eeny, meeny, miny...

The news about Old Mother Hubbard
Is bad: she was found in her cupboard
With doggie's wee bone
In her feminine zone

[Marcus Bales]

The news about Old Mother Hubbard
Is bad: she was found in her cupboard
With doggie's wee bone
In her feminine zone,
And worse than just wee, it's unrubbered.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The news about Old Mother Hubbard
who was boned when bent over a cupboard
she's taken it hard
to quote from the bard
'twas "Out damned Spot! Out!" that she blubbered

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've ordered a special turducken

[dddrum]

I've ordered a special turducken
And if you all would each throw a buck in

[ambo]

I've ordered a special turducken
And if you all would each throw a buck in
Three birds we will eat

[Zatoichi]

I've ordered a special turducken
And if you all would each throw a buck in
Three birds we will eat
Eyes, claws and feet
With a straw for intestinal suckin'

[ambo]

Ran into three tailors from Leeds

[dddrum]

Ran into three tailors from Leeds
With rather unusual needs

[dinzdale]

Ran into three tailors from Leeds
With rather unusual needs
but who cares, the thick northern twats still sing about Munich when they're not racing whippets and drinking frothy beer in their rat infested shithole....DIE SCUM DIE!!!! :mad:

S


*ahem*
sorry, carry on....

[ambo]

:D :D :D

Ran into three tailors from Leeds
With rather unusual needs
One had to have butter

[Marcus Bales]

Ran into three tailors from Leeds
With rather unusual needs
One had to have butter
And one had a stutter

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Ran into three tailors from Leeds
With rather unusual needs
One had to have butter
And one had a stutter
But the last kept three rats in his tweeds

[Zatoichi]

That unfortunate man Richard Gere
Was said among rats to be queer

[Marcus Bales]

That unfortunate man Richard Gere
Was said among rats to be queer
But three rats from Leeds
Who'd been in his tweeds

[Zatoichi]

That unfortunate man Richard Gere
Was said among rats to be queer
But three rats from Leeds
Who'd been in his tweeds
Averred, seeing no gerbils here.

[ambo]

For a liar, you sure are sincere

[Marcus Bales]

For a liar, you sure are sincere
Which means a successful career

[ambo]

For a liar, you sure are sincere
Which means a successful career
You can swindle and thieve

[Marcus Bales]

For a liar, you sure are sincere
Which means a successful career
You can swindle and thieve
With a smile and then leave

[Brynn]

For a liar, you sure are sincere
Which means a successful career
You can swindle and thieve
With a smile and then leave
Alone with no trail - just a smear.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Sitting there quietly thinking

[Brynn]

Sitting there quietly thinking
Heart stopped, and eyes hardly blinking

[ambo]

Sitting there quietly thinking
Heart stopped, and eyes hardly blinking
If I just clear my mind

[Marcus Bales]

Sitting there quietly thinking
Heart stopped, and eyes hardly blinking
If I just clear my mind
Of temptation, I find

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Sitting there quietly thinking
Heart stopped, and eyes hardly blinking
If I just clear my mind
Of temptation, I find
The space in my head stops its shrinking

[ambo]

For lunch we had peas, Spam, and goat cheese

[Zatoichi]

For lunch we had peas, Spam, and goat cheese
And champagne, however remote these
Tastes seem to veer
From fritters and beer

[Marcus Bales]

For lunch we had peas, Spam, and goat cheese
And champagne, however remote these
Tastes seem to veer
From fritters and beer,
a la carties are not table d'hoties!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've enrolled in a new evening class

[Marcus Bales]

I've enrolled in a new evening class
On growing and mowing my grass

[trisherina]

I've enrolled in a new evening class
On growing and mowing my grass
So my turf will be lush

[Marcus Bales]

I've enrolled in a new evening class
On growing and mowing my grass
So my turf will be lush
In the immanent hush

[ambo]

I've enrolled in a new evening class
On growing and mowing my grass
So my turf will be lush
In the immanent hush
And the neighbors will stare as they pass

[Jack Flanders]

Nothing could be finer

[Marcus Bales]

Nothing could be any finer
Than to back-hand some tedious whiner

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Nothing could be any finer
Than to back-hand some tedious whiner
Who complained that his soup

[Marcus Bales]

Nothing could be any finer
Than to back-hand some tedious whiner
Who complained that his soup
Had tasted like poop
Though he slurped it right down to the china.

[ambo]

Show me this dress in size twenty

[Marcus Bales]

Show me this dress in size twenty
Something slimming, and nothing that's tenty

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Show me this dress in size twenty
Something slimming, and nothing that's tenty
That shows off my figure

[jasmina]

Show me this dress in size twenty
Something slimming, and nothing that's tenty
That shows off my figure
Which couldn't be bigger

[Zatoichi]

Show me this dress in size twenty
Something slimming, and nothing that's tenty
That shows off my figure
Which couldn't be bigger
As I revel in my pastures of plenty.

[dinzdale]

When naked it looks like a prune

[Marcus Bales]

When naked it looks like a prune
When clothed, like the dark of the moon

[ambo]

When naked it looks like a prune
When clothed, like the dark of the moon
I heard how you giggled

[Marcus Bales]

When naked it looks like a prune
When clothed, like the dark of the moon
I heard how you giggled
And loved how you wriggled

[trisherina]

When naked it looks like a prune
When clothed, like the dark of the moon
I heard how you giggled
And loved how you wriggled
When born -- not a moment too soon.

[Marcus Bales]

The dog has to go out to pee

[Jack Flanders]

The dog has to go out to pee
And it's almost to half past three

[jasmina]

The dog has to go out to pee
And it's almost to half past three
So I put on my jacket,
Then think "nah, sack it"

[Marcus Bales]

The dog has to go out to pee
And it's almost a quarter past three
So I put on my jacket,
Then think "nah, sack it"
There's nobody out there to see.

[Marcus Bales]

The litterbox smells like a zoo

[Zatoichi]

The litterbox smells like a zoo
The carpet is redolent too
Have the cats all gone crazy
Or the caretaker lazy

[Coffee]

The litterbox smells like a zoo
The carpet is redolent too
Have the cats all gone crazy
Or the caretaker lazy
or are the cats planning a coup?

[Marcus Bales]

I drank my last bottle of wine

[dddrum]

I drank my last bottle of wine
Last evening at quarter past nine

[Marcus Bales]

I drank my last bottle of wine
Last evening at quarter past nine
But I haven't yet
Smoked my last cigaret

[dddrum]

I drank my last bottle of wine
Last evening at quarter past nine
But I haven't yet
Smoked my last cigaret
Nor enravished my last libertine

[ambo]

These things are supposed to be simple

[Hyakujo's Fox]

These things are supposed to be simple
But I just can't get right my wimple

[Jack Flanders]

These thing are supposed to be simple
But I just can't get right my wimple
It keeps sliding to the side

[Marcus Bales]

These thing are supposed to be simple
But I just can't get right my wimple
It slides to the side
When I want it to hide
My forehead's fat festering pimple.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a nun with a habit

[ambo]

There once was a nun with a habit
Of pulling from her habit a rabbit

[zenbabe]

There once was a nun with a habit
Of pulling from her habit a rabbit
Though it seemed a bit odd

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a nun with a habit
Of pulling from her habit a rabbit
Though it seemed a bit odd
She claimed it was God

[Zatoichi]

There once was a nun with a habit
Of pulling from her habit a rabbit
Though it seemed a bit odd
She claimed it was God
Which prompted young Pontius to stab it.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

In a time long ago, it is said

[ambo]

In a time long ago, it is said
Bruce Willis had hair on his head

[Hyakujo's Fox]

In a time long ago, it is said
Bruce Willis had hair on his head
Each week in Moonlighting
He and Maddie were fighting

[Jack Flanders]

In a time long ago, it is said
Bruce Willis had hair on his head.
Each week in Moonlighting
He and Maddie were fighting
And didn't they end up in bed?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's a strange little shop on my street

[12"razormix]

There's a strange little shop on my street
it's the place where fox and rabbit meet

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's a strange little shop on my street
it's the place where fox and rabbit meet
to exchange their views

[dddrum]

There's a strange little shop on my street
It's the place where fox and rabbit meet
To exchange their views
Yet, while there's lots of booze,
For one of them, there's naught to eat

[Zatoichi]

There's a strange little shop on my street
Where the fox and the rabbit will meet
To exchange their views
As one of them hews
To discouraging eating of meat.

[ambo]

She only eats spinach in cream

[dddrum]

She only eats spinach in cream
It came to her once in a dream

[Marcus Bales]

She only eats spinach in cream
It came to her once in a dream
That that was the answer
To all kinds of cancer

[dddrum]

She only eats spinach in cream
It came to her once in a dream
That that was the answer
To all kinds of cancer
She's kookoo, or so it would seem.

[Jack Flanders]

Here I sit multi-tasking

[dddrum]

Here I sit multi-tasking
Came to s**t, now I'm just basking


:eek: What, this isn't the Bawthroom Graffiti thread? D'Oh!!!


Here I sit multi-tasking
Typing, watching, and un-casking
Strong spirits, and eating
And now my team's leading
So how the heck can I be expected to count syllables? I'm just asking

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A great queen called Nefertiti
a beauty, so curvy and meaty

[Marcus Bales]

A great queen called Nefertiti
a beauty, so curvy and meaty
That for four thousand years
In blood and in tears
Men have scribbled her name as graffiti.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was this very big bloke

[12"razormix]

There once was this very big bloke
who used to put grits in his coke

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was this very big bloke
who used to put grits in his coke
he drank it that way

[Marcus Bales]

There once was this very big bloke
who used to put grits in his coke
he drank it that way
For a year and a day

[dddrum]

There once was this very big bloke
who used to put grits in his coke
he drank it that way
For a year and a day
'Fore he finally started to choke

[Marcus Bales]

The dancer leapt up in the air

[dddrum]

The dancer leapt up in the air
Accompanied by her au pair,
Her three kids in tow,
And her spouse, just to show
That her dancing's a family affair

****

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge

[ambo]

Sorry to interrupt, but I really do find this a lot more fun when it's a line at a time. More communal. JMHO

[dddrum]

Sorry to interrupt, but I really do find this a lot more fun when it's a line at a time. More communal. JMHOOh, I agree, and I usually restrain myself. Oftentimes, however, the Muses bestow the two bridge lines as a set... and occasionally, the whole shebang springs forth entire, like a pimple on the forehead of Zeus. Should that happen, I would have no objection to another participant continuing the original verse without regard to my submission... a sort of parallel uni-verse, if you will. ;)

You can't fight true inspiration, nesty pass?


Struggling to rein in the sheer brilliance,
:rolleyes: DDD

[Marcus Bales]

He struggled to rein in the sheer
Ebullience his brilliance shone near

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'll second (third actually) ambo's sentiment. Without wanting to get entirely fundamentalist on this, and fully cognizant of the benefits of multi-lining, I'm in favour of trying to keep the one-line-at-a-time threads as such (unless it's really necessary), to keep them more communal. Perhaps when we do want to take it all the way home, to repost it to the go-it-alone or semi-alone threads?


Whoops, took too long, we are double barrelling this one! Please continue both.


Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge

He struggled to rein in the sheer
Ebullience his brilliance shone near

[Marcus Bales]

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge
Who holds one red rose

[ambo]

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge
Who holds one red rose
With a comical pose

[Marcus Bales]

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge
Who holds one red rose
With a comical pose
And the size of the thing! Why, it's huge!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge
Who holds one red rose
With a comical pose
And the size of the thing! Why, it's huge!

His massive and freakish red bloom

[Marcus Bales]

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge
Who holds one red rose
With a comical pose
And the size of the thing! Why, it's huge!

His massive and freakish red bloom,
Exposed like the last trump of doom

[dddrum]

...Without wanting to get entirely fundamentalist on this, and fully cognizant of the benefits of multi-lining, I'm in favour of trying to keep the one-line-at-a-time threads as such (unless it's really necessary), to keep them more communal. Perhaps when we do want to take it all the way home, to repost it to the go-it-alone or semi-alone threads?Agreed! Let's shake on it.

**s-s-sh-sh-sh-shu-shu-shud-shud-shudd-shudder-udder-udder-der-der-er-er-r-r** ;)

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge
Who holds one red rose
With a comical pose
And the size of the thing! Why, it's huge!

His massive and freakish red bloom,
Exposed like the last trump of doom,
Grows out of his nose


*********

He struggled to rein in the sheer
Ebullience his brilliance shone near
But such was his skill

[Marcus Bales]

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge
Who holds one red rose
With a comical pose
And the size of the thing! Why, it's huge!

His massive and freakish red bloom,
Exposed like the last trump of doom,
Grows out of his nose --
And if he ever blows




*********

He struggled to rein in the sheer
Ebullience his brilliance shone near
But such was his skill
That everyone still

[dddrum]

Each night, at the old Moulin Rouge
Planted in the crowd sits a stooge
Who holds one red rose
With a comical pose
And the size of the thing! Why, it's huge!

His massive and freakish red bloom,
Exposed like the last trump of doom,
Grows out of his nose --
And if he ever blows
There'll be rosebuds all over the room

(Naaaah... *scribble scribble*)
Then we'll all be sub rosa... KA-BOOM!

(Aaarrrgh... *eradimacate*)
We can hire a good lawyer and sue 'im!


*********

He struggled to rein in the sheer
Ebullience his brilliance shone near
But such was his skill
That everyone still
Could see he had talent to fear

[Zatoichi]

Red bloom when displayed in the nose
Is known to all Micks I suppose
As the "map of Ireland"
While there isn't a finer land
Gin blossoms outnumber the rose.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's a town in the Emerald Isle

[Marcus Bales]

There's a town in the Emerald Isle
Whose sober, teetotaling style

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's a town in the Emerald Isle
Whose sober, teetotaling style
Is renowned through the land

[Marcus Bales]

There's a town in the Emerald Isle
Whose sober, teetotaling style
Is renowned through the land
There the bland lead the bland

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There's a town in the Emerald Isle
Whose sober, teetotaling style
Is renowned through the land
There the bland lead the bland
I suggest that you don't stay awhile

[ambo]

The grass is so long in my yard now

[Marcus Bales]

The grass is so long in my yard now
To mow it is gonna be hard, now

[Zatoichi]

The grass is so long in my yard now
To mow it is gonna be hard, now
The thicket's so thick
That even the ticks

[ambo]

The grass is so long in my yard now
To mow it is gonna be hard, now
The thicket's so thick
That even the ticks
Have vanished, along with my cow

[dddrum]

A waiter who waited upon me

[Marcus Bales]

A waiter who waited upon me
Seemed really determined to con me

[ambo]

A waiter who waited upon me
Seemed really determined to con me
The shrimp, he proclaimed

[Zatoichi]

A waiter who waited upon me
Seemed really determined to con me
The shrimp, he proclaimed
Had won royal acclaim

[ambo]

A waiter who waited upon me
Seemed really determined to con me
The shrimp, he proclaimed
Had won royal acclaim
But when served, there were only three

[Brynn]

Rejection's a hard thing to bear

[ambo]

Rejection's a hard thing to bear
Especially for those with no hair

[Brynn]

Rejection's a hard thing to bear
Especially for those with no hair
That's why some wear rugs

[ambo]

Rejection's a hard thing to bear
Especially for those with no hair
That's why some wear rugs
Or botox their mugs

[Brynn]

Rejection's a hard thing to bear
Especially for those with no hair
That's why some wear rugs
Or botox their mugs
And suck in their guts with great care

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I try to recapture my youth

[trisherina]

I try to recapture my youth
While keenly ignoring the truth

[Marcus Bales]

I try to recapture my youth
While keenly ignoring the truth
My career's nearly stalled
Since I'm fifty, and bald,
Doing Les Miserables in Duluth.

[ambo]

The thing about fudge and whipped cream

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The thing about fudge and whipped cream
they must be employed as a team

[ambo]

The thing about fudge and whipped cream
they must be employed as a team
Whereas cherries and nuts

[Marcus Bales]

The thing about fudge and whipped cream
they must be employed as a team
Whereas cherries and nuts
Have no place in what's
A beautiful black and white scheme.

[dddrum]

A homeless man climbed through my transom

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A homeless man climbed through my transom
So filthy, bedraggled, yet handsome

[Marcus Bales]

A homeless man climbed through my transom
So filthy, bedraggled, yet handsome;
He was tall thin and pale
And he told me a tale

[Zatoichi]

A homeless man climbed through my transom
So filthy, bedraggled, yet handsome;
He was tall thin and pale
And he told me a tale
Of cheating the devil of his ransom.

[Zatoichi]

On boats things come over the transom.
When metaphors come to the hand some
Are apt and they fit;
Others jar quite a bit,
Like nautical terms by the landsome.

[Marcus Bales]

On land it's a window up high
Right over the door; people try
To climb up and through
As some folks may do
To visit and love on the sly.

[Zatoichi]

A Micmac maid in a birchbark canoe

[dddrum]

A Micmac maid in a birchbark canoe
White rapids was paddling through

[trisherina]

A Micmac maid in a birchbark canoe
White rapids was paddling through
When she spotted a drop

[Marcus Bales]

A Micmac maid in a birchbark canoe
White rapids was paddling through
When she spotted a drop
And couldn't quite stop

[dddrum]

A Micmac maid in a birchbark canoe
White rapids was paddling through
When she spotted a drop
And couldn't quite stop
So she plunged into hist'ry (Who knew?)

[Zatoichi]

So it went with the maiden at Bish-Bash Falls

[Marcus Bales]

So it went with the maiden at Bish-Bash Falls
Who couldn't count any better than Zatoichi-balls

[Zatoichi]

So it went with the maiden at Bish-Bash Falls
Who couldn't count any better than Zatoichi-balls
The legends do tell
How poor Bish-Bash fell
But for now it's time to hunt down Marcus in his greasy little redoubt and stomp on his meter-counting neck 'til it squirts.

[Brynn]

My sailboat's a trim little bird

[Marcus Bales]

My sailboat's a trim little bird
While yours is as yare as a turd

[Zatoichi]

My sailboat's a trim little bird
While yours is as yare as a turd
It tacks with a clunk
And jibes with a thunk

[Marcus Bales]

My sailboat's a trim little bird
While yours is as yare as a turd
It tacks with a clunk
And jibes with a thunk
And that outrigger's really absurd.

[dddrum]

To dream the impossible dream

[Hyakujo's Fox]

To dream the impossible dream
To pig out on strawb'ries and cream

[trisherina]

To dream the impossible dream
To pig out on strawb'ries and cream
And sit on a cushion

[Marcus Bales]

To dream the impossible dream
To pig out on strawb'ries and cream
And sit on a cushion
That Trish spilled a Busch on

[Hyakujo's Fox]

To dream the impossible dream
To pig out on strawb'ries and cream
And sit on a cushion
That Trish spilled a Busch on
When her pants came apart at the seam

[ambo]

Forgotten, alone, and down-hearted

[Marcus Bales]

Forgotten, alone, and down-hearted
Since I ate some braunschweiger and farted

[dinzdale]

Forgotten, alone, and down-hearted
Since I ate some braunschweiger and farted
I know that it's lumpy

[dddrum]

Forgotten, alone, and down-hearted
Since I ate some braunschweiger and farted
I know that it's lumpy
But don't get so jumpy

[Marcus Bales]

Forgotten, alone, and down-hearted
Since I ate some braunschweiger and farted
I know that it's lumpy
But don't get so jumpy
I'm done. Oops! I guess I've just started ...

[Marcus Bales]

She walks like she knows what she's got

[dinzdale]

She walks like she knows what she's got,
and swishes and sways cos she's hot

[Marcus Bales]

She walks like she knows what she's got,
and swishes and sways cos she's hot
with legs up to here
and hair gold as beer

[12"razormix]

She walks like she knows what she's got
and swishes and sways cos she's hot
with legs up to here
and hair gold as beer
she puts up with idiots a lot

[ambo]

The drapes are all drawn for the night

[Marcus Bales]

The drapes are all drawn for the night
She smiled as she put out the light

[Zatoichi]

The drapes are all drawn for the night
She smiled as she put out the light
The darkness was grace-full
'Cause a look at her face-full

[Marcus Bales]

The drapes are all drawn for the night
She smiled as she put out the light
The darkness was grace-full
'Cause a look at her face-full
Of skin-cream's a horrible sight.

[Marcus Bales]

The candles gave soft, scented light

[12"razormix]

The candles gave soft, scented light,
it was a cryptic, dreary night

[Marcus Bales]

The candles gave soft, scented light,
it was a cryptic, dreary night
the dark let sin

[Zatoichi]

The candles gave soft, scented light,
it was a cryptic, dreary night
the dark let sin
and its cruel cohort in:
the romantic, the frantic, the fright.

[Brynn]

Can't send a PM to dinzdale
Can't start a thread - attempts all go stale
Can only reply
And sit here and sigh
while petty revenge spins its tale

the mystery of why is the wonder
as power turns reason asunder
he must not agree
with little ol' me
and is scared I might steal any thunder

Why else would my voice be cut off?
He got mad at some point (?) and did scoff
That when views aren't "correct"
He can just hit "eject"
And say "please just bend over and cough."

On my birthday he did sh*t on the thread
And started messing around with my head
He became quite abusive
but ever elusive
But who cares? He'll just delete this instead.

So ban me, but give a good reason
If I'm wrong, then declare open season
"Just a technical problem?"
I'll stop my sobbin'
For Paranoia is not people-pleasin'.

Perhaps it wasn't him - I've got enemies galore
who think I'm a blowhard, an opinionated whore
but what else to think
when possibilities shrink

[ambo]

Can't send a PM to dinzdale
Can't start a thread - attempts all go stale
Can only reply
And sit here and sigh
while petty revenge spins its tale

the mystery of why is the wonder
as power turns reason asunder
he must not agree
with little ol' me
and is scared I might steal any thunder

Why else would my voice be cut off?
He got mad at some point (?) and did scoff
That when views aren't "correct"
He can just hit "eject"
And say "please just bend over and cough."

On my birthday he did sh*t on the thread
And started messing around with my head
He became quite abusive
but ever elusive
But who cares? He'll just delete this instead.

So ban me, but give a good reason
If I'm wrong, then declare open season
"Just a technical problem?"
I'll stop my sobbin'
For Paranoia is not people-pleasin'.

Perhaps it wasn't him - I've got enemies galore
who think I'm a blowhard, an opinionated whore
but what else to think
when possibilities shrink

THIS WHOLE THING IS SUCH A HUGE BORE

[Brynn]

Believe me, I'd love to have handled it off board, but this keeps appearing:

"Brynn, you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

1. Your user account may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
2. If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation."

[Brynn]

Oh yeah - can't recieve Pm's either, or
edit anything to include a <shrug.>
Sorry that's not in limerick form.

As you were...

[ambo]

I don't understand why you are not emailing Ze about this stuff. But if you really want everyone to know of your troubles, why not use the Fast Chat forum ? This is a Fiction Project thread. I come here to write poetry and prose, as I assume others do.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Brynn, hopefully Ze should be able to find out what's happened. :)

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She's always on the phone demanding

[trisherina]

She's always on the phone demanding
To know why she can't stop expanding

[Marcus Bales]

She's always on the phone demanding
To know why she can't stop expanding
She posts and she posts

[ambo]

She's always on the phone demanding
To know why she can't stop expanding
She posts and she posts
About vampires and ghosts

[Hyakujo's Fox]

She's always on the phone demanding
To know why she can't stop expanding
She posts and she posts
About vampires and ghosts
That leave chocolates out on the landing

[Marcus Bales]

I can't help the way that I feel

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I can't help the way that I feel
When you stand there in stocking and heel

[Marcus Bales]

I can't help the way that I feel
When you stand there in stocking and heel,
Your dress off one shoulder

[ambo]

I can't help the way that I feel
When you stand there in stocking and heel,
Your dress off one shoulder
I'm starting to smolder

[Zatoichi]

I can't help the way that I feel
When you stand there in stocking and heel,
Your dress off one shoulder
I'm starting to smolder
Can I resist the temptation to peel?

[ambo]

There once was a braggart named Morris

[Zatoichi]

There once was a braggart named Morris
Who claimed to have beaten Chuck Norris

[zenbabe]

There once was a braggart named Morris
Who claimed to have beaten Chuck Norris
Though we doubt this is true

[Marcus Bales]

There once was a braggart named Morris
Who claimed to have beaten Chuck Norris
Though we doubt this is true
Unless you know who
Left him whipped by her splendid cl*tor*s.

[zenbabe]

I don't know how that story got out

[Marcus Bales]

I don't know how that story got out
But Chuckie-poo's learned not to pout

[ambo]

I don't know how that story got out
But Chuckie-poo's learned not to pout
He just holds his breath

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I don't know how that story got out
But Chuckie-poo's learned not to pout
He just holds his breath
Til he's seconds from death

[Marcus Bales]

I don't know how that story got out
But Chuckie-poo's learned not to pout
He just holds his breath
Til he's seconds from death
Then wilts like an alfalfa sprout.

[Zatoichi]

If you ask me (though seldom you do)

[LeahDear]

What I think when I'm looking at you

[ambo]

If you ask me (though seldom you do)
What I think when I'm looking at you
I will most likely say

[12"razormix]

If you ask me (though seldom you do)
What I think when I'm looking at you
I will most likely say
(since words fail me) och aye..

[Hyakujo's Fox]

If you ask me (though seldom you do)
What I think when I'm looking at you
I will most likely say
(since words fail me) och aye..
You ain't no prize sow but you'll do

[zero]

if you ask me (though seldom you do)
what i think when i'm looking at you
i will most likely say
(since words fail me) och aye
wee mcmakik - OCH AYE THE NOO!

[Marcus Bales]

There's nothing to see, here -- move on

[12"razormix]

There's nothing to see, here -- move on
The nut, the scot and the roo are gone

[Zatoichi]

There's nothing to see, here -- move on
The nut, Scot and 'roo have all gone
It may sound confusing but
It's not that the Scot's not a nut

[12"razormix]

There's nothing to see, here -- move on
The nut, the scot and the roo are gone
I am a confusing nut
It's not that I'm scottish but
in this thread you add just one line on

[Zatoichi]

I do have a Scots pedigree
And I'm hoping to help you to see
That meter does matter
Midst all of the chatter
If Limericks are what these should be.

[12"razormix]

the scottish nut and the hatter

[ambo]

in this thread you add just one line on

yes, PLEASE

[ambo]

the scottish nut and the hatter
added raisins and chives to the batter

[dddrum]

the scottish nut and the hatter
added raisins and chives to the batter
when the oven was hot

[Hyakujo's Fox]

the scottish nut and the hatter
added raisins and chives to the batter
when the oven was hot
the haggis jumped from the pot

[12"razormix]

the scottish nut and the hatter
added raisins and chives to the batter
when the oven was hot
the haggis jumped from the pot
thus latter chased former with clatter

[Marcus Bales]

The man in the moon tried to kiss

[funkytuba]

The man in the moon tried to kiss
Star Pilar's friend from Mars. Her loud hiss

[Marcus Bales]

The man in the moon tried to kiss
Star Pilar's friend from Mars. Her loud hiss
Was so loud long and heinous
It was heard on Uranus

[Zatoichi]

The man in the moon tried to kiss
Star Pilar's friend from Mars. Her loud hiss
Was so loud long and heinous
It was heard on Uranus
Did that big bang start with something like this?

[Marcus Bales]

I haven't been nearly as bad

[Zatoichi]

I haven't been nearly as bad
Since the day I helped hang old Chad

[Marcus Bales]

I haven't been nearly as bad
Since the day that I helped hang old Chad
He'd spit on my shoe
So what could I do?

[ambo]

I haven't been nearly as bad
Since the day that I helped hang old Chad
He'd spit on my shoe
So what could I do?
I don't think things through when I'm mad

[Marcus Bales]

The surgery went pretty well

[trisherina]

The surgery went pretty well
For enucleation in Hell

[funkytuba]

The surgery went pretty well
For enucleation in Hell.
The pokers were hot

[Marcus Bales]

The surgery went pretty well
For enucleation in Hell.
The pokers were hot
And the morphine was shot
In my gut with a howitzer shell

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a fellow called Curly

[Marcus Bales]

There once was a fellow called Curly
Who sang that big Jud checked out early

[ambo]

There once was a fellow called Curly
Who sang that big Jud checked out early
'Twas a snake bite that got 'im

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a fellow called Curly
Who sang that big Jud checked out early
'Twas a snake bite that got 'im
Somewhere down by the scrot'm

[EmotionalVelcro]

There once was a fellow called Curly
Who sang that big Jud checked out early
'Twas a snake bite that got 'im
Somewhere down by the scrot'm
And now when he sings it's quite girly

[ambo]

:D BEAUTIFUL !!!!!

[EmotionalVelcro]

*chuckles*

[Marcus Bales]

I walked in and turned on the light

[ambo]

I walked in and turned on the light
Then noticed things weren't quite right

[funkytuba]

I walked in and turned on the light
Then noticed things weren't quite right.
Over there on the left