Limericks for the Purist (communal)

[EmotionalVelcro]

I walked in and turned on the light
Then noticed things weren't quite right.
Over there on the left
Sat my days long bereft

[dddrum]

I walked in and turned on the light
Then noticed things weren't quite right.
Over there on the left
Sat my days long bereft
Whilst my halcyon days weren't in sight

[EmotionalVelcro]

Many drink and try to rhyme (um, like me right now...) g'night folks

[Marcus Bales]

I'm trying to rhyme but I'm drunk

[dinzdale]

I'm trying to rhyme but I'm drunk
and the thoughts I was thinking are thunk

[Marcus Bales]

I'm trying to rhyme but I'm drunk
and the thoughts I was thinking are thunk
my feelings are felt
my kvelling kvelt

[funkytuba]

I'm trying to rhyme but I'm drunk
and the thoughts I was thinking are thunk
my feelings are felt
my kvelling kvelt:
Give me sex! Get me out of this Funk!

[Marcus Bales]

It's all very well for you kids

[EmotionalVelcro]

It's all very well for you kids
To chuckle at those with grey lids

[ambo]

It's all very well for you kids
To chuckle at those with grey lids
But we've paid our dues

[funkytuba]

t's all very well for you kids
To chuckle at those with grey lids
But we've paid our dues
In our CFM shoes

[Marcus Bales]

It's all very well for you kids
To chuckle at those with grey lids
But we've paid our dues
In our CFM shoes
And our even more CFM ids.

[funkytuba]

When the worms eat their way to my brain

[Marcus Bales]

When the worms eat their way to my brain
They'll find just a small, shrinking stain

[ambo]

When the worms eat their way to my brain
They'll find just a small, shrinking stain
It was all of that acid

[Hyakujo's Fox]

When the worms eat their way to my brain
They'll find just a small, shrinking stain
It was all of that acid
That left my mind flaccid

[dddrum]

When the worms eat their way to my brain
They'll find just a small, shrinking stain
It was all of that acid
That left my mind flaccid
But tequila done drove me insane
buT tequilA donE drovE mE insanE
did i type that line twice? please explain

[funkytuba]

This big zit in the small of my back

[dddrum]

This big zit in the small of my back
Has guv me a right heart attack

[Hyakujo's Fox]

This big zit in the small of my back
Has guv me a right heart attack
When it suddenly popped

[dddrum]

This big zit in the small of my back
Has guv me a right heart attack
When it suddenly popped
My left ventricle stopped

[jasmina]

This big zit in the small of my back
Has guv me a right heart attack
When it suddenly popped
My left ventricle stopped
Which doesn't help much in the sack

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I walked into the 7-11

[jasmina]

I walked into the 7-11
And it looked just a little like heaven,

[ambo]

I walked into the 7-11
And it looked just a little like heaven,
with that Slurpee machine

[Jack Flanders]

I walked into the 7-11
And it looked just a little like heaven,
With that Slurpee machine,
And other people's nicotine

[funkytuba]

I walked into the 7-11
And it looked just a little like heaven,
With that Slurpee machine,
And other people's nicotine

Hey Jack... that a beautiful 4-foot iambic line...

but it's not anapestic enough for a "purist" limerick

how about:

I walked into the 7-11
And it looked just a little like heaven,
With that Slurpee machine
and such cheap nicotine

[trisherina]

I walked into the 7-11
And it looked just a little like heaven,
With that Slurpee machine
and such cheap nicotine
and snacks that use lard for their leaven.

[ambo]

See, the thing about sharp scissors is

[Hyakujo's Fox]

See, the thing about sharp scissors is
Running around with them is the biz!

[ambo]

See, the thing about sharp scissors is
Running around with them is the biz!
You can cut up your sister

[Marcus Bales]

See, the thing about sharp scissors is
Running around with them is the biz!
You can cut up your sister
Or castrate her mister

[ambo]

See, the thing about sharp scissors is
Running around with them is the biz!
You can cut up your sister
Or castrate her mister
Or do surg'ry on Jacko or Liz




sorry

[Marcus Bales]

He tossed up the melon, and drew

[funkytuba]

He tossed up the melon, and drew
His Glock and his Colt .22

[Zatoichi]

He tossed up the melon, and drew
His Glock and his Colt .22
The Glock was uncocked
And the Colt trigger-locked

[Marcus Bales]

He tossed up the melon, and drew
His Glock and his Colt .22
The Glock was uncocked
And the Colt trigger-locked
Now there's melon all over my shoe.

[ambo]

For starters, I think I'll have chowder

[Marcus Bales]

For starters, I think I'll have chowder
She's not here, so I'll start without her

[funkytuba]

For starters, I think I'll have chowder
She's not here, so I'll start without her
Clams and cream, so divine!

[l'azizza]

This New England Girl; She Is Mine!

[Marcus Bales]

For starters, I think I'll have chowder
She's not here, so I'll start without her
Clams and cream, so divine!
Then the swordfish and wine

[Zatoichi]

For starters, I think I'll have chowder
She's not here, so I'll start without her
Clams and cream, so divine!
Then the swordfish and wine
By the cognac I'll forget all about her.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The devil was reading the Bible

[Zatoichi]

The devil was reading the Bible
Considering an action of libel

[funkytuba]

The devil was reading the Bible
Considering an action of libel
When along came a shyster

[Zatoichi]

The devil was reading the Bible
Considering an action of libel
When along came a shyster
An old school tort meister

[funkytuba]

The devil was reading the Bible
Considering an action of libel
When along came a shyster
An old school tort meister
Who said "No more till you've paid my bill!"

[trisherina]

A lime fell in love with a pear

[jasmina]

A lime fell in love with a pear
So she dragged him straight off to her lair

[funkytuba]

A lime fell in love with a pear
So she dragged him straight off to her lair
Two dissimilar fruit

[Hyakujo's Fox]

A lime fell in love with a pear
So she dragged him straight off to her lair
Two dissimilar fruit
Felt a passion acute

[Marcus Bales]

A lime fell in love with a pear
So she dragged him straight off to her lair
Two dissimilar fruit
Felt a passion acute:
A lime spritz in the peary air.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

One Christmas Eve as I was napping

[ambo]

One Christmas Eve as I was napping
Someone covered my toe with wrapping

[Marcus Bales]

One Christmas Eve as I was napping
Someone covered my toe with wrapping
In sandals, then,
I'm walking zen:
The sound of no toe flapping.

[ambo]

If you stick to the chair when you're wet

[Zatoichi]

If you stick to the chair when you're wet
If you're covered with hairs from your pet

[ambo]

If you stick to the chair when you're wet
If you're covered with hairs from your pet
You may want to try

[dddrum]

If you stick to the chair when you're wet
If you're covered with hairs from your pet
You may want to try
A rubdown with my

[Marcus Bales]

If you stick to the chair when you're wet
If you're covered with hairs from your pet
You may want to try
A rubdown with my
Employee, a stunning brunette.

[Marcus Bales]

My breakfast this morning was cold

[ambo]

My breakfast this morning was cold
But thankfully quite free of mold

[Marcus Bales]

My breakfast this morning was cold
But thankfully quite free of mold;
The one spirochete

[Zatoichi]

My breakfast this morning was cold
But thankfully quite free of mold;
The one spirochete
Did a crisp pirouette

[trisherina]

My breakfast this morning was cold
But thankfully quite free of mold;
The one spirochete
Seen on my shredded wheat
Pirouetted crisply, though enbowled.

[Marcus Bales]

I woke up this morning unhurt

[xfox]

I woke up this morning unhurt
Surprisingly fresh and alert

[Marcus Bales]

I woke up this morning unhurt
Surprisingly fresh and alert
I guess that last night

[LeahDear]

I woke up this morning unhurt
Surprisingly fresh and alert
I guess that last night
When I started that fight

[dddrum]

I woke up this morning unhurt
Surprisingly fresh and alert
I guess that last night
When I started that fight
It's a good thing I wore my lead shirt

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Oh waiter! There's a fly in my soup!

[Jack Flanders]

Oh, Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
I hope it's not a part of your Toupe!

[LeahDear]

Oh, Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
I hope it's not a part of your Toupe!
In fact I'd prefer

[Audreyvgs]

Oh, Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
I hope it's not a part of your Toupe!
In fact I'd prefer
my soup shaken not stirred

[Marcus Bales]

Oh, Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
I hope it's not a part of your Toupe!
In fact I preferred
my soup shaken not stirred
And with none of the Muscidae group.

[Zatoichi]

Ephemerella, the stately mayflies
Live one day, have sex, and then die

[LeahDear]

Ephemerella, the stately mayflies
Live one day, have sex, and then die
You'd think it a waste

[Marcus Bales]

Ephemerella, the stately mayflies
Live one day, have sex, and then die
You'd think it a waste
If the mayflies were chaste

[trisherina]

Ephemerella, the stately mayflies
Live one day, have sex, and then die
You'd think it a waste
If the mayflies were chaste
With extinction their fate by sunrise.

[ambo]

If mountains from mole hills are made

[trisherina]

If mountains from mole hills are made
And mice and men's plans are best laid

[ambo]

If mountains from mole hills are made
And mice and men's plans are best laid
Let us learn then by living

[LeahDear]

If mountains from mole hills are made
And mice and men's plans are best laid
Let us learn then by living
And the beauty of giving

[Marcus Bales]

If mountains from mole hills are made
And mice and men's plans are best laid
Let us learn then by living
And the beauty of giving
Though good deeds with ill are repaid.

[trisherina]

With eyes shining bright in the storm

[Zatoichi]

With eyes shining bright in the storm
And bodice so artfully torn

[Anya]

1. I see you've a restraining order
2. Still I risk overstepping the border
3. The look in your eyes

[Anya]

With eyes shining bright in the storm
And bodice so artfully torn
You tempt me to cover

[Sthenic]

With eyes shining bright in the storm
And bodice so artfully torn
You tempt me to cover
With a four leafed clover

[Marcus Bales]

With eyes shining bright in the storm
And bodice so artfully torn
Skin brown as fresh toast

[ambo]

With eyes shining bright in the storm
And bodice so artfully torn
Skin brown as fresh toast
Teeth white as a ghost

[LeahDear]

With eyes shining bright in the storm
And bodice so artfully torn
Skin brown as fresh toast
Teeth white as a ghost
And lady fuzz tempting and warm :D

[Marcus Bales]

Such open temptation disguised

[LeahDear]

Such open temptation disguised
yet you manage to look surprised

[dddrum]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity

[Marcus Bales]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity

[LeahDear]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised

[Marcus Bales]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained

[LeahDear]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained
So difficult keeping restrained

[Marcus Bales]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained
So difficult keeping restrained
it's almost too much

[LeahDear]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained
So difficult keeping restrained
it's almost too much
I'm anxious to touch

[Marcus Bales]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained
So difficult keeping restrained
it's almost too much
I'm anxious to touch
But I don't want my dark blue dress stained.

[LeahDear]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained
So difficult keeping restrained
it's almost too much
I'm anxious to touch
But I don't want my dark blue dress stained.

The dress got stained and was kept

[Marcus Bales]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained
So difficult keeping restrained
it's almost too much
I'm anxious to touch
But I don't want my dark blue dress stained.

The dress got stained and was kept
Till the Starr chamber got it, and schlepped

[LeahDear]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained
So difficult keeping restrained
it's almost too much
I'm anxious to touch
But I don't want my dark blue dress stained.

The dress got stained and was kept
Till the Starr chamber got it, and schlepped
The furore that followed
If only she'd swallowed

[Marcus Bales]

Such open temptation disguised
Yet you manage to look so surprised
Dis ingenuosity
That covers hot-saucity
just keeps you from being chastised.

She quivered, just barely contained
So difficult keeping restrained
it's almost too much
I'm anxious to touch
But I don't want my dark blue dress stained.

The dress got stained and was kept
Till the Starr chamber got it, and schlepped
The furore that followed
If only she'd swallowed
We'd have President Gore. Jesus wept.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

He fell back to Earth with a thud

[ambo]

He fell back to Earth with a thud
Covered with feces and blood

[Hyakujo's Fox]

He fell back to Earth with a thud
Covered with feces and blood
"It's one helluva ride!

[LeahDear]

He fell back to Earth with a thud
Covered with feces and blood
"It's one helluva ride!
If your limbs are all tied

[funkytuba]

He fell back to Earth with a thud
Covered with feces and blood
"It's one helluva ride!
If your limbs are all tied
and your sewage plant's hit by a scud!"

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I wonder what happened to Marcus

[Anna]

I wonder what happened to Marcus,
to Jason and Gertrude and Farkus?

[Marcus Bales]

I wonder what happened to Marcus,
to Jason and Gertrude and Farkus?
The Ze board was dead,
And nobody said
That somebody patched up the carcass.

[ambo]

Complete with all fittings and hoses

[Marcus Bales]

Complete with all fittings and hoses
And tricked out with daisies and roses

[LeahDear]

Complete with all fittings and hoses
And tricked out with daisies and roses
I got my new tub

[ambo]

Complete with all fittings and hoses
And tricked out with daisies and roses
I got my new tub
So it's rub-a-dub-dub

[LeahDear]

Complete with all fittings and hoses
And tricked out with daisies and roses
I got my new tub
So it's rub-a-dub-dub
And smell my clean clothes with your noses!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a fellow called Vlad

[funkytuba]

There once was a fellow called Vlad
Who in leather and spandex was clad

[LeahDear]

There once was a fellow called Vlad
Who in leather and spandex was clad
With his cat 'o' nine tails

[Anna]

There once was a fellow called Vlad
Who in leather and spandex was clad
With his cat 'o' nine tails
Each having nine nails

[Brynn]

There once was a fellow called Vlad
Who in leather and spandex was clad
With his cat 'o' nine tails
Each having nine nails
He'd whip on his guests who were "bad."

[Marcus Bales]

Oh, boring old Vlad, once again

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Oh, boring old Vlad, once again
Had dropped off to sleep in the den

[ambo]

Oh, boring old Vlad, once again
Had dropped off to sleep in the den
His snore woke the cat

[LeahDear]

Oh, boring old Vlad, once again
Had dropped off to sleep in the den
His snore woke the cat
Who was asleep in his hat

[Anna]

Oh, boring old Vlad, once again,
Had dropped off to sleep in the den.
His snore woke the cat,
Who was asleep in his hat,
Not expecting to wake before ten.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The poor old incontinent kitty

[Ze Frank]

The poor old incontinent kitty
Just couldn't hold it, oh what a pity

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The poor old incontinent kitty
Just couldn't hold it, oh what a pity
And Vlad's new biretta
Is substantially wetter

[Anna]

The poor old incontinent kitty
Just couldn't hold it, oh what a pity
And Vlad's new biretta
Is substantially wetter
Livin' just enough, just enough for da citay...

no, but really...

The poor old incontinent kitty,
Just couldn't hold it, oh what a pity.
And Vlad's new biretta,
Is substantially wetter,
oh, pity da kitty who dost ditty

[funkytuba]

With a crash and a bash and a bam

[Ze Frank]

With a crash and a bash and a bam
The large boat went over the dam

[Sunnybunny]

With a crash and a bash and a bam
The large boat went over the dam
I said, "What the hell!"
And went over as well

[Ze Frank]

With a crash and a bash and a bam
The large boat went over the dam
I said, "What the hell!"
And went over as well
Now the water's like strawberry jam

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a young man called Freddy

[trisherina]

There once was a young man called Freddy
Who secretly tried on a teddy

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a young man called Freddy
Who secretly tried on a teddy
And it suited so well

[Anna]

There once was a young man called Freddy
Who secretly tried on a teddy
And it suited so well
He chortled, "(Oh,) what the hell,"

[Ze Frank]

There once was a young man called Freddy
Who secretly tried on a teddy
And it suited so well
He chortled, "(Oh,) what the hell,"
Now all his old friends call him Betty

[LeahDear]

He sat in the sweltering heat

[Marcus Bales]

He sat in the sweltering heat
Imagining cold rain and sleet

[trisherina]

He sat in the sweltering heat
Imagining cold rain and sleet
With the sweat dripping down

[Marcus Bales]

He sat in the sweltering heat
Imagining cold rain and sleet
With the sweat dripping down
He swore: "Adjective noun!"

[Ze Frank]

He sat in the sweltering heat
Imagining cold rain and sleet
With the sweat dripping down
He swore: "Adjective noun!"
And began licking the toes on his feet

[Sunnybunny]

Molly gave pause at the sight

[trisherina]

Molly gave pause at the sight
(she paused a lot; Molly's not bright)

[Ze Frank]

Molly gave pause at the sight
(she paused a lot; Molly's not bright)
She didn't seem to be scared

[Sunnybunny]

Molly gave pause at the sight
(she paused a lot; Molly's not bright)
She didn't seem to be scared
When the red rockets glared

[Ze Frank]

Molly gave pause at the sight
(she paused a lot; Molly's not bright)
She didn't seem to be scared
When the red rockets glared
Weird Molly, she just doesn't seem right

[Sunnybunny]

Jack slid on a pair of lace panties

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Jack slid on a pair of lace panties
Then sought out some dread vigilantes

[Marcus Bales]

Jack slid on a pair of lace panties
Then sought out some dread vigilantes
In Deadwood by swinging
A dead cat, and singing

[trisherina]

Jack slid on a pair of lace panties
Then sought out some dread vigilantes
In Deadwood by swinging
A dead cat, and singing
While lurching around near the shanties.

[glish]

Old Salty was quite the life saver

[Sunnybunny]

Old Salty was quite the life saver
Though his pet dingo, Pip, was much braver

[Ze Frank]

Old Salty was quite the life saver
Though his pet dingo, Pip, was much braver
He saved a kangaroo

[glish]

Old Salty was quite the life saver.
Though his pet dingo, Pip, was much braver.
He saved a kangaroo,
from his master's ragu,

[Marcus Bales]

Old Salty was quite the life saver.
Though his pet dingo, Pip, was much braver.
He saved a kangaroo,
from his master's ragu,
And their lice and ticks add to the flavor.

[Sunnybunny]

Not once, but twice I sullied true love

[glish]

Not once, but twice I sullied true love
twin maidens, heaven sent, from above

[Sunnybunny]

Not once, but twice I sullied true love
twin maidens, heaven sent, from above
stole a grand from the first

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Not once, but twice I sullied true love
twin maidens, heaven sent, from above
stole a grand from the first
but the second fared worst

[glish]

Not once, but twice I sullied true love
twin maidens, heaven sent, from above
stole a grand from the first
but the second fared worst
she, sadly, I married, poor dove.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

They say that back in the beginning

[Marcus Bales]

They say that back in the beginning
Before there were sinners or sinning

[xfox]

They say that back in the beginning
Before there were sinners or sinning
Tho' they wore very little

[Ze Frank]

They say that back in the beginning
Before there were sinners or sinning
Tho' they wore very little
A fig leaf in the middle

[Sunnybunny]

They say that back in the beginning
Before there were sinners or sinning
Tho' they wore very little
A fig leaf in the middle
Adam still whined about his hair thinning

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a fabulous bird

[Marcus Bales]

There once was a fabulous bird
That lovers -- and just lovers -- heard

[Sunnybunny]

There once was a fabulous bird
That lovers -- and just lovers -- heard
He warbled sweet ditties

[LeahDear]

There once was a fabulous bird
That lovers -- and just lovers -- heard
He warbled sweet ditties
For our JesusTitties

[Ze Frank]

There once was a fabulous bird
That lovers -- and just lovers -- heard
He warbled sweet ditties
For our JesusTitties
Are you insane, that's just absurd

[Sunnybunny]

On the seafoam kissed shores of Albania

[Ze Frank]

On the seafoam kissed shores of Albania
You could go vacation there, I wouldn't blame ya

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I think we're about due

On the seafoam kissed shores of Albania
You could go vacation there, I wouldn't blame ya
Because I hear it's such a great place for the tourists
But sadly not for the limerick purists (http://zefrank.com/bulletin/showpost.php?p=12032&postcount=1)
Because their rhythm sucks more than old Drac from Transylvania



:D :) ;) :p :) :D ;)

oh, and ps (http://i6.tinypic.com/1z6bfnl.gif)

:) ;) :D

[Sunnybunny]

I think we're about due

On the seafoam kissed shores of Albania
You could go vacation there, I wouldn't blame ya
Because I hear it's such a great place for the tourists
But sadly not for the limerick purists (http://zefrank.com/bulletin/showpost.php?p=12032&postcount=1)
Because their rhythm sucks more than old Drac from Transylvania

Oh, NOW we remember who's the boss of everyone!! Thanks! :D

[trisherina]

(say it with three smilies, it's more meaningful)

Three smilies, when laid in a row

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Three smilies, when laid in a row
Makes bluntness as soft as the snow

[trisherina]

Three smilies, when laid in a row
Makes bluntness as soft as the snow
If you're angry or sad

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Three smilies, when laid in a row
Makes bluntness as soft as the snow
If you're angry or sad
Or just plain barking mad

[trisherina]

Three smilies, when laid in a row
Makes bluntness as soft as the snow
If you're angry or sad
Or just plain barking mad
Just pile up the smilies, and throw.

[Sunnybunny]

As drunk as you often are

[LeahDear]

oh, and ps (http://i6.tinypic.com/1z6bfnl.gif)



AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
:D :D :D

[ambo]

As drunk as you often are
I'm surprised they let you in the bar

[trisherina]

As drunk as you often are
I'm surprised they let you in the bar
Whereas I, pure and right

[Sunnybunny]

As drunk as you often are
I'm surprised they let you in the bar
Whereas I, pure and right
Drank hot chocolate all night

[ambo]

As drunk as you often are
I'm surprised they let you in the bar
Whereas I, pure and right
Drank hot chocolate all night
Then played Bolero on my guitar

[LeahDear]

Why don't you play misty for me?

[ambo]

Why don't you play misty for me?
Then stab me repeatedly

[Sunnybunny]

Why don't you play misty for me?
Then stab me repeatedly
T'would be sublime

[Marcus Bales]

Why don't you play misty for me?
Then stab me repeatedly
T'would be sublime
To die in a crime

[ambo]

Why don't you play misty for me?
Then stab me repeatedly
T'would be sublime
To die in a crime
With Eastwood, and right on TV

[Jack Flanders]

My thoughts are so jumbled and sad.

[Coffee]

My thoughts are so jumbled and sad.
I think I've been thoroughly had.

[Ze Frank]

My thoughts are so jumbled and sad.
I think I've been thoroughly had.
You said you would be true

[Sunnybunny]

My thoughts are so jumbled and sad.
I think I've been thoroughly had.
You said you would be true
Yet I noticed that you

[klinkie]

My thoughts are so jumbled and sad.
I think I've been thoroughly had.
You said you would be true
Yet I noticed that you
Took my favorite pencil and pad

[Marcus Bales]

There are lines so devoid of all wit

[Sunnybunny]

There are lines so devoid of all wit
Oscar Wilde would throw quite a fit

[trisherina]

There are lines so devoid of all wit
Oscar Wilde would throw quite a fit
With a flounce and bon mot

[Marcus Bales]

There are lines so devoid of all wit
Oscar Wilde would throw quite a fit
With a flounce and bon mot
He'd let us all know

[klinkie]

There are lines so devoid of all wit
Oscar Wilde would throw quite a fit
With a flounce and bon mot
He'd let us all know
That we were all acting like twits

[Marcus Bales]

The waif danced exceedingly well

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The waif danced exceedingly well
Where she'd learnt to, no-one could tell

[ambo]

The waif danced exceedingly well
Where she'd learnt to, no-one could tell
She twirled like a top

[Marcus Bales]

The waif danced exceedingly well
Where she'd learnt to, no-one could tell
She twirled like a top
She'd start and she'd stop

[Ze Frank]

The waif danced exceedingly well
Where she'd learnt to, no-one could tell
She twirled like a top
She'd start and she'd stop
All night 'til her ankles would swell

[Marcus Bales]

Could FauxZe and Ze be the same
With Ze playing lamer than lame

[Ze Frank]

Could FauxZe and Ze be the same
With Ze playing lamer than lame
You might just be right

[ambo]

Could FauxZe and Ze be the same
With Ze playing lamer than lame
You might just be right
But no, not tonight

[Marcus Bales]

Could FauxZe and Ze be the same
With Ze playing lamer than lame?
"You might just be right
But no, not tonight,"
Said Ambo, "I'm RealZe's new flame!"

[trisherina]

When no one seems sure how to start

[Sunnybunny]

When no one seems sure how to start
Their actions will have lost all their heart

[Ze Frank]

When no one seems sure how to start
Their actions will have lost all their heart
Don't throw in the towel

[ambo]

When no one seems sure how to start
Their actions will have lost all their heart
Don't throw in the towel
Just buy up a vowel

[Ze Frank]

When no one seems sure how to start
Their actions will have lost all their heart
Don't throw in the towel
Just buy up a vowel
And laugh so hard it makes you fart

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a young girl from Chile

[Sunnybunny]

There once was a young girl from Chile
Who loved to eat gumbo file'

[Marcus Bales]

There once was a young girl from Chile
Who loved to eat gumbo file'
For her its effects
Were better than sex

[Sunnybunny]

There once was a young girl from Chile
Who loved to eat gumbo file'
For her its effects
Were better than sex
So she extra helpings on Sunday

[Sunnybunny]

Doggies make much better playmates

[zenbabe]

Doggies make much better playmates
Than horney and oversexed primates

[Marcus Bales]

Doggies make much better playmates
Than horney and oversexed primates
'Cause when you say "No"

[zenbabe]

Doggies make much better playmates
Than horney and oversexed primates
'Cause when you say "No"
No poo will they throw

[Sunnybunny]

Doggies make much better playmates
Than horney and oversexed primates
'Cause when you say "No"
No poo will they thow
And coo when you massage their prostates

[Ze Frank]

The President announced his plan

[Sunnybunny]

The President announced his plan
To make a big noise in Japan

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The President announced his plan
To make a big noise in Japan
That'll scare North Korea

[dddrum]

The President announced his plan
To make a big noise in Japan
That'll scare North Korea
Till they drop the idea

[Sunnybunny]

The President announced his plan
To make a big noise in Japan
That'll scare North Korea
Till they drop the idea
When he gets confused thinking 'bout flan.

[Marcus Bales]

Driven along by the whips

[Sunnybunny]

Driven along by the whips
Six mini poodles did flips
'til the Ringmaster cried

[Ze Frank]

Driven along by the whips
Six mini poodles did flips
'til the Ringmaster cried
"Your pink poodle just died"

[Sunnybunny]

Driven along by the whips
Six mini poodles did flips
'til the Ringmaster cried
"Your pink poodle just died"
And a wicked laugh dripped from his lips

[Marcus Bales]

I'm driving a yellow Corvette

[Ze Frank]

I'm driving a yellow Corvette
A gift from my girlfriend Yvette

[ambo]

I'm driving a yellow Corvette
A gift from my girlfriend Yvette
My cap's also yellow

[Ze Frank]

I'm driving a yellow Corvette
A gift from my girlfriend Yvette
My cap's also yellow
My pills keep me mellow

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I'm driving a yellow Corvette
A gift from my girlfriend Yvette
My cap's also yellow
My pills keep me mellow
And yes - I feel no regret

[Marcus Bales]

The food is laid out on the grill

[Ze Frank]

The food is laid out on the grill
The shot glasses ready to fill

[Marcus Bales]

The food is laid out on the grill
The shot glasses ready to fill
But nobody's here

[ambo]

The food is laid out on the grill
The shot glasses ready to fill
But nobody's here
I'll have one more beer

[Ze Frank]

The food is laid out on the grill
The shot glasses ready to fill
But nobody's here
I'll have one more beer
It was fun 'til they gave me the bill

[Sunnybunny]

Ronnie told Jilly he loved her