Limericks for the Purist (communal)

[simedog]

1. We stuck on the topic of foods?
2. Oh don't get in one of your moods!
3. Awww pshh don't you start

[AllegroNg]

1. We stuck on the topic of foods?
2. Oh don't get in one of your moods!
3. Awww pshh don't you start
4. Or I'll feed you a weird chicken part

[ambo]

1. We stuck on the topic of foods?
2. Oh don't get in one of your moods!
3. Awww pshh don't you start
4. Or I'll feed you a weird chicken part
5. And eat with the smelly old dudes!

[zenbabe]

1. When fighting the War on Peace

[AllegroNg]

1. When fighting the War on Peace
2. Just present some mac & cheese

[ambo]

1. When fighting the War on Peace
2. Just present some mac & cheese
3. The cheese is green

[moel]

1. When fighting the War on Peace
2. Just present some mac & cheese
3. The cheese is green
4. The mac is mean

[AllegroNg]

1. When fighting the War on Peace
2. Just present some mac & cheese
3. The cheese is green
4. The mac is mean
5. And your pants are filled with bees.

[ambo]

1. The light from the closet is yellow

[simedog]

1. The light from the closet is yellow
2. It's awfully chilled out and mellow

[moel]

1. The light from the closet is yellow
2. It's awfully chilled out and mellow
3. Is that incense I smell?

[ambo]

1. The light from the closet is yellow
2. It's awfully chilled out and mellow
3. Is that incense I smell?
4. Or is it..... well, well....

[dinzdale]

1. The light from the closet is yellow
2. It's awfully chilled out and mellow
3. Is that incense I smell?
4. Or is it..... well, well....
5. It's me! The flatulent fellow.

[simedog]

1. Al Gore made up the internet

[ambo]

1. Al Gore made up the internet
2. An invention he'll never forget

[zenbabe]

1. Al Gore made up the internet
2. An invention he'll never forget
3. I invented the Post It

[moel]

1. Al Gore made up the internet
2. An invention he'll never forget
3. I invented the Post It
4. And whiteout by Bette Nesmith

[ambo]

1. Al Gore made up the internet
2. An invention he'll never forget
3. I invented the Post It
4. And whiteout by Bette Nesmith
5. He's meditating in a hut in Tibet

[dinzdale]

1. A big lazy dolphin called Spike

[ambo]

1. A big lazy dolphin called Spike
2. Told Dinz he could go take a hike

[simedog]

1. A big lazy dolphin called Spike
2. Told Dinz he could go take a hike
3. Dinz punched his nose

[zenbabe]

1. A big lazy dolphin called Spike
2. Told Dinz he could go take a hike
3. Dinz punched his nose
4. And said "dolphin meat blows"

[ambo]

1. A big lazy dolphin called Spike
2. Told Dinz he could go take a hike
3. Dinz punched his nose
4. And said "dolphin meat blows"
5. So Spike yelled back at him "on your bike"

[simedog]

1. ambo, zenbabe, simedog and dinzdale

[AllegroNg]

1. ambo, zenbabe, simedog and dinzdale
2. All eat monkeys until they get pale

[sandy_jgg]

1. ambo, zenbabe, simedog and dinzdale
2. All eat monkeys until they get pale
3. A developing pox

[ambo]

1. ambo, zenbabe, simedog and dinzdale
2. All eat monkeys until they get pale
3. A developing pox
4. From germs in a box

[dinzdale]

1. ambo, zenbabe, simedog and dinzdale
2. All eat monkeys until they get pale
3. A developing pox
4. From germs in a box
5. Will probably grow them a tail

[ambo]

1. oh no, i can't find any pickles

[sandy_jgg]

1. oh no, i can't find any pickles
2. So i'm counting my dimes and my nickles

[dinzdale]

1. oh no, i can't find any pickles
2. So i'm counting my dimes and my nickles
3. I'll buy a big dill

[ambo]

1. oh no, i can't find any pickles
2. So i'm counting my dimes and my nickles
3. I'll buy a big dill
4. It'll be such a thrill

[dinzdale]

1. oh no, i can't find any pickles
2. So i'm counting my dimes and my nickles
3. I'll buy a big dill
4. It'll be such a thrill
5. The thought of it feels like it tickles

[ambo]

1. It just ain't no fun mountin' goats

[dinzdale]

1. It just ain't no fun mountin' goats
2. Unless you shave off their coats

[ambo]

1. It just ain't no fun mountin' goats
2. Unless you shave off their coats
3. You can always pretend

[malina]

1. It just ain't no fun mountin' goats
2. Unless you shave off their coats
3. Hours of fun

[malina]

sorry ambo! ;)

[malina]

1. It just ain't no fun mountin' goats
2. Unless you shave off their coats
3. You can always pretend
4. that it's true love to the end

[zenbabe]

1. It just ain't no fun mountin' goats
2. Unless you shave off their coats
3. You can always pretend
4. that it's true love to the end
5. Tis great fun until one of them bloats

[ambo]

hee hee, that last one was a goodie !


1. The pirate's parrot on his shoulder stood

[zenbabe]

1. The pirate's parrot on his shoulder stood
2. Bought in China he was misunderstood

[AllegroNg]

1. The pirate's parrot on his shoulder stood
2. Bought in China he was misunderstood
3.He fed it too many crackers

[dinzdale]

1. The pirate's parrot on his shoulder stood
2. Bought in China he was misunderstood
3. He fed it too many crackers
4. And held it by the knackers

[ambo]

1. The pirate's parrot on his shoulder stood
2. Bought in China he was misunderstood
3. He fed it too many crackers
4. And held it by the knackers
5. So at night it nibbled on his leg of wood

[dinzdale]

1. There was a young Dodger called Beale

[yaledo]

1. There was a young Dodger called Beale
2. Who could dodge both the unreal and real

[moel]

1. There was a young Dodger called Beale
2. Who could dodge both the unreal and real
3. But when it came to baseballs

[dinzdale]

1. There was a young Dodger called Beale
2. Who could dodge both the unreal and real
3. But when it came to baseballs
4. He trips and he falls

[yaledo]

1. There was a young Dodger called Beale
2. Who could dodge both the unreal and real
3. But when it came to baseballs
4. He trips and he falls
5. With a thump that the whole crowd can feel

[moel]

oops!

1. There was a young Dodger called Beale
2. Who could dodge both the unreal and real
3. But when it came to baseballs
4. He trips and he falls
5. And the bitching and whinning's unreal.

[ambo]

1. We walked and we walked till our feet ached

[CatchrNdRy]

1. We walked and we walked till our feet ached
2. through the forest with footsteps behind

[CatchrNdRy]

Scatch that forgot to rhyme

1. We walked and we walked till our feet ached
2. Through the forest with child forsaked

[zenbabe]

1. We walked and we walked till our feet ached
2. Through the forest with child forsaked
3. We stumbled on rocks

[Frieda]

1. We walked and we walked till our feet ached
2. Through the forest with child forsaked
3. We stumbled on rocks
4. We climbed over logs

[yaledo]

1. We walked and we walked till our feet ached
2. Through the forest with child forsaked
3. We stumbled on rocks
4. We climbed over logs
5. Till the child we'd forsook was quite baked.

The purist in me at this point must make 2 points...
On rhythm:
the rhythm of line 1, and to a lesser extent line 2, was way off! It needs to have the same metre as either:
"There once was a man from Nantucket"
and
"There was a young lady named Mary"
or else
"There once was a man from Bombay"
and
"While taking the duchess to tea"
On content:
Mark Twain described a $1 Limerick as one which you cannot use in polite society, a $5 Limerick you cannot tell in front of ladies, and a $10 Limerick you cannot tell infront of anybody, even saying it to yourself should make you ashamed. At the very least, we should aim to have the last line contain such slyness that you would be uncomfortable saying it to your mother.
The only exception to this is when there is mitigating cleverness throughout the Limerick

[dickieC]

Ah, I remember the days when we tried to enforce Limerick purity....

[AllegroNg]

1. This is only for fun, you nutball

[ambo]

1. This is only for fun, you nutball
2. My grandfather thinks he is so tall

[chuckie egg]

1. This is only for fun, you nutball
2. My grandfather thinks he is so tall
3. But you are much taller

[dickieC]

1. This is only for fun, you nutball
2. My grandfather thinks he is so tall
3. But you are much taller
4. Mr. Gentleman Caller

[ambo]

1. This is only for fun, you nutball
2. My grandfather thinks he is so tall
3. But you are much taller
4. Mr. Gentleman Caller
5. I'm thinking for you I might fall

[zenbabe]

1. My stank ass should really go shower

[ambo]

1. My stank ass should really go shower
2. But I'll likely put it off for an hour

[zenbabe]

1. My stank ass should really go shower
2. But I'll likely put it off for an hour
3. which is just what I did

[dickieC]

1. My stank ass should really go shower
2. But I'll likely put it off for an hour
3. which is just what I did
4. and so there are skid

[zenbabe]

1. My stank ass should really go shower
2. But I'll likely put it off for an hour
3. which is just what I did
4. and so there are skid
5. Now i'm clean and I smell like a flower!

[ambo]

1. All this week I've been telling such lies

[zenbabe]

1. All this week I've been telling such lies
2. The truth is quite clear, just look in my eyes

[CatchrNdRy]

1. All this week I've been telling such lies
2. The truth is quite clear, just look in my eyes
3. They are red as can be

[ambo]

1. All this week I've been telling such lies
2. The truth is quite clear, just look in my eyes
3. They are red as can be
3. So I'm sure you can see

[dinzdale]

1. All this week I've been telling such lies
2. The truth is quite clear, just look in my eyes
3. They are red as can be
4. So I'm sure you can see
5. That I'm one of those double-O spies

[ambo]

1. With soap made of pine tar I lathered

[zenbabe]

1. With soap made of pine tar I lathered
2. A mint juliep or two had I hatherd

[AllegroNg]

1. With soap made of pine tar I lathered
2. A mint juliep or two had I hatherd
3. Bubbles on my hiney

[malina]

1. With soap made of pine tar I lathered
2. A mint juliep or two had I hatherd
3. Bubbles on my hiney
4. Made it real shiney

[ambo]

1. With soap made of pine tar I lathered
2. A mint juliep or two had I hatherd
3. Bubbles on my hiney
4. Made it real shiney
5. And smelling just like christmas, so I gathered

[chuckie egg]

1. I'm hungry I want my sandwich

[AllegroNg]

1. I'm hungry I want my sandwich
2. Cut it in squares, you stupid bitch

[ambo]

1. I'm hungry I want my sandwich
2. Cut it in squares, you stupid bitch
3. Don't give me no lip

[AllegroNg]

1. I'm hungry I want my sandwich
2. Cut it in squares, you stupid bitch
3. Don't give me no lip
4. Gimme a tater chip

[zenbabe]

1. I'm hungry I want my sandwich
2. Cut it in squares, you stupid bitch
3. Don't give me no lip
4. Gimme a tater chip
5. In the matrix there is an obvious glitch

[ambo]

1. A silver white lily in my garden grows

[zenbabe]

1. A silver white lily in my garden grows
2. Right next to my beautiful soft budded Rose

[ambo]

1. A silver white lily in my garden grows
2. Right next to my beautiful soft budded Rose
3. The morning dew kisses

[AllegroNg]

1. A silver white lily in my garden grows
2. Right next to my beautiful soft budded Rose
3. The morning dew kisses
4. Tis ambo she misses

[AllegroNg]

1. A silver white lily in my garden grows
2. Right next to my beautiful soft budded Rose
3. The morning dew kisses
4. Tis Ambo (s)he misses

[dinzdale]

1. A silver white lily in my garden grows
2. Right next to my beautiful soft budded Rose
3. The morning dew kisses
4. Tis Ambo (s)he misses
5. Inhaling the scent with her nose.

[ambo]

1. There once was a swimmer so speedy

[zenbabe]

1. There once was a swimmer so speedy
2. He was rich and also quite greedy

[AllegroNg]

1. There once was a swimmer so speedy
2. He was rich and also quite greedy
3. One stroke was the breast

[malina]

1. There once was a swimmer so speedy
2. He was rich and also quite greedy
3. One stroke was the breast
4. Couldn't master the rest

[zefrank]

1. There once was a swimmer so speedy
2. He was rich and also quite greedy
3. One stroke was the breast
4. Couldn't master the rest
5. as on his Mom's teet he'd been needy

[dinzdale]

1. As nudie bars go this one's tiny

[catbelly]

1. As nudie bars go this one's tiny
2. Affords a great view of ev'ry vaginy

[dinzdale]

1. As nudie bars go this one's tiny
2. Affords a great view of ev'ry vaginy
3. When you sit at the front

[malina]

1. As nudie bars go this one's tiny
2. Affords a great view of ev'ry vaginy
3. When you sit at the front
4. Next to Dwayne from Vermont

[trisherina]

1. As nudie bars go this one's tiny
2. Affords a great view of ev'ry vaginy
3. When you sit at the front
4. Next to Dwayne from Vermont
5. You might notice the wart on his hiney.

[AddyCat]

Originally posted by masterofNone
1. He probably thinks he's quite smart
2 To come up with a thread from the start
3. But all he has shown
4. That a thread you can't own
5. if the zeMonkeys don't give a fart

Sorry to stray from the bounds but this is beautiful...

[AllegroNg]

1. A girl once wore a tight dress

[zenbabe]

1. A girl once wore a tight dress
2. 300 pounds did she weigh and no less

[AllegroNg]

1. A girl once wore a tight dress
2. 300 pounds did she weigh and no less
3. the seams were bustin

[zenbabe]

1. A girl once wore a tight dress
2. 300 pounds did she weigh and no less
3. the seams were bustin
4. The zippers were rustin'

[amanda]

1. A girl once wore a tight dress
2. 300 pounds did she weigh and no less
3. the seams were bustin
4. The zippers were rustin'
5. going to the bathroom was quite a mess

[ambo]

1. You whine and you fuss like a baby

[AddyCat]

1. You whine and you fuss like a baby
2. Never to say "yes," only "maybe"

[moel]

1. You whine and you fuss like a baby
2. Never to say "yes," only "maybe"
3. but when I get you alone

[malina]

1. You whine and you fuss like a baby
2. Never to say "yes," only "maybe"
3. but when I get you alone
4. don't reach for the phone

[dinzdale]

1. You whine and you fuss like a baby
2. Never to say "yes," only "maybe"
3. but when I get you alone
4. don't reach for the phone
5. Just make like a Santa and sleigh me.

[ambo]

1. sweet mother, he's back and he's singing

[Frieda]

1. sweet mother, he's back and he's singing
2. very soon the phone will start ringing

[AllegroNg]

1. sweet mother, he's back and he's singing
2. very soon the phone will start ringing
3. make that goat sing

[Frieda]

1. sweet mother, he's back and he's singing
2. very soon the phone will start ringing
3. make that goat sing
4. let those hips swing

[dinzdale]

1. sweet mother, he's back and he's singing
2. very soon the phone will start ringing
3. make that goat sing
4. let those hips swing
5. so why are the people dung flinging?

[ambo]

1. my fingers and eyes are betraying

[malina]

1. my fingers and eyes are betraying
2. what my brain is clearly relaying

[ambo]

1. my fingers and eyes are betraying
2. what my brain is clearly relaying
3. i fumble for reasons

[malina]

1. my fingers and eyes are betraying
2. what my brain is clearly relaying
3. i fumble for reasons
4. stumbling through the seasons

[ambo]

1. my fingers and eyes are betraying
2. what my brain is clearly relaying
3. i fumble for reasons
4. stumbling through the seasons
5. so much for my fool-hardy praying

[dinzdale]

1. An eager young dolphin called Sam

[malina]

1. An eager young dolphin called Sam
2. Went out to the store to buy ham

[zenbabe]

1. An eager young dolphin called Sam
2. Went out to the store to buy ham
3. But instead he bought Tuna

[funkytuba]

1. An eager young dolphin called Sam
2. Went out to the store to buy ham
3. But instead he bought Tuna
4. Pissed off the Kahuna

[dinzdale]

1. An eager young dolphin called Sam
2. Went out to the store to buy ham
3. But instead he bought Tuna
4. Pissed off the Kahuna
5. So went back and swapped it for Spam

[nycwriters]

1. I usually sleep until noon

[funkytuba]

1. I usually sleep until noon
2. The bright morning light makes me swoon

[dinzdale]

1. I usually sleep until noon
2. The bright morning light makes me swoon
3. I turn off the clock

[trisherina]

1. I usually sleep until noon
2. The bright morning light makes me swoon
3. I turn off the clock
4. And get a rude shock

[ambo]

1. I usually sleep until noon
2. The bright morning light makes me swoon
3. I turn off the clock
4. And get a rude shock
5. When I wake up next to a baboon

[funkytuba]

1. My mother has entered the race

[dinzdale]

1. My mother has entered the race
2. and I'm sure she will set a good pace.

[ambo]

1. My mother has entered the race
2. and I'm sure she will set a good pace.
3. She's rounding the bend

[dinzdale]

1. My mother has entered the race
2. and I'm sure she will set a good pace.
3. She's rounding the bend
4. and I think she'll contend

[ambo]

1. My mother has entered the race
2. and I'm sure she will set a good pace.
3. She's rounding the bend
4. and I think she'll contend
5. if she doesn't fall flat on her face.

[dinzdale]

1. Ambo is so full of rhymes

[ambo]

1. Ambo is so full of rhymes
2. They become quite annoying at times

[sweetmetlcup]

1. Ambo is so full of rhymes
2. They become quite annoying at times
3. consonants sublime

[funkytuba]

1. Ambo is so full of rhymes
2. They become quite annoying at times
3. consonants sublime
4. and vowels that chime

[rapscalious rob]

1. Ambo is so full of rhymes
2. They become quite annoying at times
3. consonants sublime
4. and vowels that chime
5. A’s rhythm makes my booty climb.

[ambo]

1. here where the dense forest begins

[dinzdale]

1. here where the dense forest begins
2. twixt the butt cheeks of wonderful Dinz

[catbelly]

1. here where the dense forest begins
2. twixt the butt cheeks of wonderful Dinz
3. unruly and curly

[dinzdale]

1. here where the dense forest begins
2. twixt the butt cheeks of wonderful Dinz
3. unruly and curly
4. not soft, clean and girly

[catbelly]

1. here where the dense forest begins
2. twixt the butt cheeks of wonderful Dinz
3. unruly and curly
4. not soft, clean and girly
5. the site of an unctuous sin

[funkytuba]

1. "Why must I work?" whines CatBelly

[zenbabe]

1. "Why must I work?" whines CatBelly
2. When Jerry Springer is on the telly!

[moel]

1. "Why must I work?" whines CatBelly
2. When Jerry Springer is on the telly!
3. That could be me!

[funkytuba]

1. "Why must I work?" whines CatBelly
2. When Jerry Springer is on the telly!
3. That could be me!
4. Up there on TV

[ambo]

1. "Why must I work?" whines CatBelly
2. When Jerry Springer is on the telly!
3. That could be me!
4. Up there on TV
5. If I didn't have titties like jelly

[rapscalious rob]

Zaphod Beeblebrox knows ‘bout fun

[ambo]

Zaphod Beeblebrox knows ‘bout fun
He hasn't had regrets since '91

[rapscalious rob]

Zaphod Beeblebrox knows ‘bout fun
He hasn't had regrets since '91
riding the heart of gold,

[zenbabe]

Zaphod Beeblebrox knows ‘bout fun
He hasn't had regrets since '91
riding the heart of gold,
and secrets untold

[dinzdale]

Zaphod Beeblebrox knows ‘bout fun
He hasn't had regrets since '91
riding the heart of gold,
and secrets untold
Two heads are better than one

[ambo]

i wonder if that's really dinz

[dinzdale]

I wonder if that's really dinz
Because two would double one's sins

[ambo]

I wonder if that's really dinz
Because two would double one's sins
Okay, if you say

[funkytuba]

I wonder if that's really dinz
Because two would double one's sins
Okay, if you say,
Or rather, No Way!

[ambo]

I wonder if that's really dinz
Because two would double one's sins
Okay, if you say,
Or rather, No Way!
I'm sitting on needles and pins

[dinzdale]

Some people should clean out their mail

[funkytuba]

"Some people should clean out their mail,"
the postman was once heard to wail.

[zenbabe]

"Some people should clean out their mail,"
the postman was once heard to wail.
All it takes is a post

[rapscalious rob]

"Some people should clean out their mail,"
the postman was once heard to wail.
All it takes is a post
this annoys me the most

[ambo]

"Some people should clean out their mail,"
the postman was once heard to wail.
All it takes is a post
this annoys me the most
'Specially in snow, sleet, and hail.

[dinzdale]

A friendly young llama called Chuck

[ambo]

A friendly young llama called Chuck
Said "I'll sell you my turd for a buck"

[zenbabe]

http://zenmedia.org/Pics/random%20stuff/gay%20lama.jpg

*I can't post images anymore* *sniff*

A friendly young llama called Chuck
Said "I'll sell you my turd for a buck"
You see I need some beer money

[nycwriters]

A friendly young llama called Chuck
Said "I'll sell you my turd for a buck"
You see I need some beer money
Why're you lookin' at me funny?

[funkytuba]

A friendly young llama called Chuck
Said "I'll sell you my turd for a buck"
"You see I need some beer money
Why're you lookin' at me funny?
This llama is known for his muck!"

[zenbabe]

Can the shorts that you wear be to short?

[rapscalious rob]

Can the shorts that you wear be to short?
I once heard an elephant retort-

[ambo]

Can the shorts that you wear be to short?
I once heard an elephant retort-
If your butt cheeks are showing

[dinzdale]

Can the shorts that you wear be to short?
I once heard an elephant retort-
If your butt cheeks are showing
You might be worth knowing

[funkytuba]

Can the shorts that you wear be too short?
I once heard an elephant retort-
If your butt cheeks are showing
You might be worth knowing
So hike 'em on up, There's a sport!

[zefrank]

was buddha really so sweet?

[AddyCat]

was buddha really so sweet?
could he handle opressive heat?

[funkytuba]

was buddha really so sweet?
could he handle opressive heat?
was his handwriting good?

[AddyCat]

was buddha really so sweet?
could he handle opressive heat?
was his handwriting good?
did he do as he should?

[ambo]

was buddha really so sweet?
could he handle opressive heat?
was his handwriting good?
did he do as he should?
and did he ever see his own feet?

[zenbabe]

1. What is wrong with wearing wife beaters?

[slurpeedemon]

1. What is wrong with wearing wife beaters?
2. Wearing gold chains and driving two-seaters?

[rapscalious rob]

What is wrong with wearing wife beaters?
Wearing gold chains and driving two-seaters?
Dude, I think it’s cool

[funkytuba]

What is wrong with wearing wife beaters?
Wearing gold chains and driving two-seaters?
Dude, I think it’s cool
You're making me drool

[slurpeedemon]

What is wrong with wearing wife beaters?
Wearing gold chains and driving two-seaters?
Dude, I think it’s cool
You're making me drool
As I blast my woofers and tweeters

[funkytuba]

How many of you drink absinthe?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

How many of you drink absinthe?
Whilst posing atop of a plinth?

[nycwriters]

How many of you drink absinthe?
Whilst posing atop of a plinth?
with sugar and spoon

[funkytuba]

How many of you drink absinthe?
Whilst posing atop of a plinth?
with sugar and spoon
we pour, sip and swoon

[sweetmetlcup]

How many of you drink absinthe?
Whilst posing atop of a plinth?
with sugar and spoon
we pour, sip and swoon
we fly, offer'd away the moon

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There onth wath a man with a lithp

[nycwriters]

There onth wath a man with a lithp
Whose chipths were weally quite crithp

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There onth wath a man with a lithp
Whose chipths were weally quite crithp
hith tongue they did cut

[nycwriters]

There onth wath a man with a lithp
Whose chipths were weally quite crithp
hith tongue they did cut
so hith mowth he dith shut

[slurpeedemon]

There onth wath a man with a lithp
Whose chipths were weally quite crithp
hith tongue they did cut
so hith mowth he dith shut
and thoon he wath thlim ath a withp.

[funkytuba]

My checkbook has run out of checks

[dinzdale]

My checkbook has run out of checks
'cos the bitch wanted paying for sex

[funkytuba]

My checkbook has run out of checks
'cos the bitch wanted paying for sex
She asked for ID

[dinzdale]

My checkbook has run out of checks
'cos the bitch wanted paying for sex
She asked for ID
and I said "Yes it's me"

[AllegroNg]

My checkbook has run out of checks
'cos the bitch wanted paying for sex
She asked for ID
and I said "Yes it's me"
I then gave her a little Tex-Mex;););)

[chuckie egg]

I love guacemole its great

[funkytuba]

I love guacemole its great
when smeared all over my mate

[zenbabe]

I love guacemole its great
when smeared all over my mate
Then I will dip him in cheese

[nycwriters]

I love guacemole its great
when smeared all over my mate
Then I will dip him in cheese
and do what I please

[slurpeedemon]

I love guacemole its great
when smeared all over my mate
Then I will dip him in cheese
and do what I please
within tasteful bounds, at any rate

[Hyakujo's Fox]

You've got the ugliest face

[slurpeedemon]

You've got the ugliest face
Your left elbow's your saving grace

[funkytuba]

You've got the ugliest face
Your left elbow's your saving grace
The knees are ok

[slurpeedemon]

You've got the ugliest face
Your left elbow's your saving grace
The knees are ok
Could stare at them all day

[Hyakujo's Fox]

You've got the ugliest face
Your left elbow's your saving grace
The knees are ok
Could stare at them all day
but it's your toes I long to embrace

[nycwriters]

My head feels like it's about to burst

[chuckie egg]

My head feels like it's about to burst
I need to go home and be nursed

[dinzdale]

My head feels like it's about to burst
I need to go home and be nursed
I'll lay in the bed

[slurpeedemon]

My head feels like it's about to burst
I need to go home and be nursed
I'll lay in the bed
and call my friend, Fred

[sweetmetlcup]

My head feels like it's about to burst
I need to go home and be nursed
I'll lay in the bed
and call my friend, Fred
So that i can be reimbursed

[funkytuba]

My coffee has gotten quite cold

Edit: (Not sure about the double post...)

[funkytuba]

My coffee has gotten quite cold

[slurpeedemon]

My coffee has gotten quite cold
and these donuts have grown stale and old

[nycwriters]

My coffee has gotten quite cold
and these donuts have grown stale and old
this lunch that they gave us

[slurpeedemon]

My coffee has gotten quite cold
and these donuts have grown stale and old
this lunch that they gave us
will most surely slay us

[funkytuba]

My coffee has gotten quite cold
and these donuts have grown stale and old
this lunch that they gave us
will most surely slay us
It's covered in blue and red mold.

[chuckie egg]

The interesting thing about tubas

[AllegroNg]

The interesting thing about tubas
They stay crunchy in milk ogga booba

[chuckie egg]

The interesting thing about tubas
They stay crunchy in milk ogga booba
But dont chew too hard

[slurpeedemon]

The interesting thing about tubas
They stay crunchy in milk ogga booba
But dont chew too hard
The flavor's avant-garde

[zenbabe]

The interesting thing about tubas
They stay crunchy in milk ogga booba
But dont chew too hard
The flavor's avant-garde
And just take it apart for the looooba

[lapietra]

Men are so very confusing

[malina]

Men are so very confusing
At times they're very amusing

[lapietra]

Men are so very confusing
At times they're very amusing
They say they don't want games

[dinzdale]

Men are so very confusing
At times they're very amusing
They say they don't want games
Then they use their false names

[lapietra]

Men are so very confusing
At times they're very amusing
They say they don't want games
Then they use their false names
And when with you other dames are cruising.

[zenbabe]

Sometimes I wish I was bald

[funkytuba]

Sometimes I wish I was bald
My hair looks like I was mauled

[zenbabe]

Sometimes I wish I was bald
My hair looks like I was mauled
What's so wrong with my mullet

[lapietra]

Sometimes I wish I was bald
My hair looks like I was mauled
What's so wrong with my mullet
My mom really likes it

[dinzdale]

Sometimes I wish I was bald
My hair looks like I was mauled
What's so wrong with my mullet
My mom really likes it
And it stops my poor ears from the cold

[funkytuba]

My doggie has just lost his bone

[zenbabe]

My doggie has just lost his bone
So tonight I will be sleeping alone

[BusyRich]

My doggie has just lost his bone
So tonight I'll be sleeping alone
But it's cold in October

[funkytuba]

My doggie has just lost his bone
So tonight I'll be sleeping alone
But it's cold in October
and soon poor old Rover

[BusyRich]

My doggie has just lost his bone
So tonight I'll be sleeping alone
But it's cold in October
and soon poor old Rover
Will just run off and find a new home

[maychorian]

All my cats are meowing a blues tune

[lapietra]

All my cats are meowing a blues tune
And I'm singing along like a big loon









*Hi Maychorian :) from a fellow cat worshipper...

[maychorian]

All my cats are meowing a blues tune
And I'm singing along like a big loon
Strumming my guitar











Hello. :)

[lapietra]

All my cats are meowing a blues tune
And I'm singing along like a big loon
Strumming my guitar
Lyrics most bizarre

[maychorian]

All my cats are meowing a blues tune
And I'm singing along like a big loon
Strumming my guitar
Lyrics most bizarre
Lifting an ode to the full moon

[funkytuba]

It's awfully late in Iraq

[rapscalious rob]

It's awfully late in Iraq
where guns rattle in daily attack

[lapietra]

It's awfully late in Iraq
where guns rattle in daily attack
can our soldiers sleep?

[zenbabe]

It's awfully late in Iraq
where guns rattle in daily attack
can our soldiers sleep?
In this toxic dung heap?