Limericks for the Purist (communal)

[Hyakujo's Fox]

so logical, was the Vulcan Mr Spock

[RevEf]

so logical, was the Vulcan Mr Spock
he escaped my fulkin' headlock

[Hyakujo's Fox]

so logical, was the Vulcan Mr Spock
he escaped my fulkin' headlock
he used his cold mind

[RevEf]

so logical, was the Vulcan Mr Spock
he escaped my fulkin' headlock
he used his cold mind
an orange's old rind

[ambo]

so logical, was the Vulcan Mr Spock
he escaped my fulkin' headlock
he used his cold mind
an orange's old rind
and said "Hey Jim, what a crock!"

[chuckie egg]

They failed to deliver my card!

[daverbee]

They failed to deliver my card!
The one with the quote from The Bard!

[chuckie egg]

They failed to deliver my card!
The one with the quote from The Bard!
I'm so not impressed

[daverbee]

They failed to deliver my card!
The one with the quote from The Bard!
I'm so not impressed
Janet Jackson's right breast

[chuckie egg]

They failed to deliver my card!
The one with the quote from The Bard!
I'm so not impressed
Janet Jackson's right breast
I bet wouldn't find it that hard

[daverbee]

Electricians are really quite lucky

[chuckie egg]

Electricians are really quite lucky
Their work is not normally mucky

[daverbee]

Electricians are really quite lucky
Their work is not normally mucky
If they make something sparky

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Electricians are really quite lucky
Their work is not normally mucky
If they make something sparky
while wiring up the marquee

[ambo]

Electricians are really quite lucky
Their work is not normally mucky
If they make something sparky
while wiring up the marquee
They could black out large portions of Truckee

[RevEf]

I need to clean the floor in here.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I need to clean the floor in here
Ain't been swept in over a year

[daverbee]

I need to clean the floor in here
Ain't been swept in over a year
Gonna get out the broom

[chuckie egg]

I need to clean the floor in here
Ain't been swept in over a year
Gonna get out the broom
the dirts met its doom

[daverbee]

I need to clean the floor in here
Ain't been swept in over a year
Gonna get out the broom
the dirts met its doom
Nah! Think I'll go out for a beer.

[funkytuba]

My father was heard once to say

[Hyakujo's Fox]

My father was heard once to say
"Young Funky, there must come a day"

[rapscalious rob]

My father was heard once to say
"Young Funky, there must come a day"
"When the tuba’s respected"

[daverbee]

My father was heard once to say
"Young Funky, there must come a day"
"When the tuba's respected"
"No longer neglected"

[chuckie egg]

My father was heard once to say
"Young Funky, there must come a day"
"When the tuba's respected"
"No longer neglected"
"Ass kicking tunes you will play!"

[daverbee]

Oatmeal's not all it's cracked up to be!

[AllegroNg]

Oatmeal's not all it's cracked up to be!
Unless it's doused in honey and candy!

[daverbee]

Oatmeal's not all it's cracked up to be!
Unless it's doused in honey and candy!
Then I shove it right down me

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Oatmeal's not all it's cracked up to be!
Unless it's doused in honey and candy!
Then I shove it right down me
while spilling bits all aroun' me

[funkytuba]

Oatmeal's not all it's cracked up to be!
Unless it's doused in honey and candy!
Then I shove it right down me
while spilling bits all aroun' me
Well-dressed, it's quite the epitome

[Hyakujo's Fox]

The once was a ghost called Sir Greg

[chuckie egg]

The once was a ghost called Sir Greg
He fell head over heals for an Egg

[daverbee]

The once was a ghost called Sir Greg
He fell head over heals for an Egg
The two were soon betrothed

[chuckie egg]

The once was a ghost called Sir Greg
He fell head over heals for an Egg
The two were soon betrothed
even though he wath a "ghotht"!

[daverbee]

The once was a ghost called Sir Greg
He fell head over heals for an Egg
The two were soon betrothed
even though he wath a "ghotht"!
and the Egg being bereft of legs.

[chuckie egg]

Theres not many words rhyme with Texas

[daverbee]

Theres not many words rhyme with Texas
He said as he drove in his Lexus

[chuckie egg]

"Theres not many words rhyme with Texas"
He said as he drove in his Lexus
"As I'm not a poet.."

[daverbee]

"Theres not many words rhyme with Texas"
He said as he drove in his Lexus
"As I'm not a poet.."
"And don't have a pet sto-at"

[funkytuba]

"Theres not many words rhyme with Texas"
He said as he drove in his Lexus
"As I'm not a poet..
And don't have a pet sto-at,
I don't yet know how this affects us"

[daverbee]

I hear the compressor a-groanin'

[Smartypants]

I hear the compressor a-groanin'
It drowns out my young neighbors' moanin'

[funkytuba]

I hear the compressor a-groanin'
It drowns out my young neighbors' moanin''
tho' soon i'll be needin'

[zenbabe]

I hear the compressor a-groanin'
It drowns out my young neighbors' moanin''
tho' soon i'll be needin'
a trough for my feedin'

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I hear the compressor a-groanin'
It drowns out my young neighbors' moanin''
tho' soon i'll be needin'
a trough for my feedin'
cos breakfast's not a thing for postponin'

[Smartypants]

Non sequiturs are so amusin'

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Non sequiturs are so amusin'
for bad manners there's no excusin'

[daverbee]

Non sequiturs are so amusin'
for bad manners there's no excusin'
Being rude and sequitish

[Smartypants]

Non sequiturs are so amusin'
for bad manners there's no excusin'
Being rude and sequitish
or manglin' the English

[funkytuba]

Non sequiturs are so amusin'
for bad manners there's no excusin'
Being rude and sequitish
or manglin' the English
Fish dream about lug nut refusin'

[Smartypants]

Non sequiturs are so amusin'
for bad manners there's no excusin'
Being rude and sequitish
or manglin' the English
Fish dream about lug nut refusin'

Fer instance, a kook from Canarsie

[Dark Chocolate]

Fer instance, a kook from Canarsie
ogled through his binocs at Marcie

[daverbee]

Fer instance, a kook from Canarsie
Ogled through his binocs at Marie
His binocs got fogged up

[Smartypants]

Fer instance, a kook from Canarsie
Ogled through his binocs at Marie
His binocs got fogged up
When he witnessed her shtupp

[zenbabe]

Fer instance, a kook from Canarsie
Ogled through his binocs at Marie
His binocs got fogged up
When he witnessed her shtupp
A guy that could speak well in Farsie

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Some say there's money in limericks

[daverbee]

Some say there's money in limericks
and other grammatical tricks.

[funkytuba]

Some say there's money in limericks
and other grammatical tricks.
I'm 'fraid they're all wrong

[Smartypants]

Some say there's money in limericks
and other grammatical tricks.
I'm 'fraid they're all wrong
My rhymes ain't worth a song

[Coffee]

Some say there's money in limericks
and other grammatical tricks.
I'm 'fraid they're all wrong
My rhymes ain't worth a song
instead i'll go practice guitar licks

[chuckie egg]

I like blink 182 at the moment

[daverbee]

I like blink 182 at the moment
they keep my mind here in the present.

[chuckie egg]

I like blink 182 at the moment
they keep my mind here in the present.
much unlike Britney

[daverbee]

I like blink 182 at the moment
they keep my mind here in the present.
much unlike Britney
with her hudraulic titneys

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I like blink 182 at the moment
they keep my mind here in the present.
much unlike Britney
with her hudraulic titneys
which make me reach for my antidepressant

[daverbee]

Sleep deprivation ain't funny

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Sleep deprivation ain't funny
makes my demeanour less sunny

[Frieda]

Sleep deprivation ain't funny
makes my demeanour less sunny
When the anger appears

[rapscalious rob]

Sleep deprivation ain't funny
makes my demeanour less sunny
When the anger appears
That stuff never endears

[dinzdale]

Sleep deprivation ain't funny
makes my demeanour less sunny
When the anger appears
That stuff never endears
Just an unhappy young fuzzy bunny

[zenbabe]

my whole body hurts from dancing

[Aphrodite]

my whole body hurts from dancing
from bumping and grinding and prancing

[zenbabe]

my whole body hurts from dancing
from bumping and grinding and prancing
And the bruise on my knee

[Aphrodite]

my whole body hurts from dancing
from bumping and grinding and prancing
And the bruise on my knee
where I smacked the settee

[zenbabe]

my whole body hurts from dancing
from bumping and grinding and prancing
And the bruise on my knee
where I smacked the settee
And a boil in much need of lancing!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

He was her knight in shining armour

[chuckie egg]

He was her knight in shining armour
She always dreamed of meeting a farmer

[chuckie egg]

He was her knight in shining armour
She always dreamed of meeting a farmer

[daverbee]

He was her knight in shining armour
She always dreamed of meeting a farmer
But trading a lance for a pitchfork

[dinzdale]

He was her knight in shining armour
She always dreamed of meeting a farmer
But trading a lance for a pitchfork
And raising her young pigs to be pork

[daverbee]

He was her knight in shining armour
She always dreamed of meeting a farmer
But trading a lance for a pitchfork
And raising her young pigs to be pork
Was the result of really bad Karma-er

[daverbee]

He was her knight in shining armour
She always dreamed of meeting a farmer
But trading a lance for a pitchfork
And raising her young pigs to be pork
Was the result of really bad Karma

[rapscalious rob]

I have spent my life savings on fast food

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I have spent my life savings on fast food
Through many greasy burgers I have chewed

[rapscalious rob]

I have spent my life savings on fast food
Through many greasy burgers I have chewed
While my wallet’s grown thinner

[ambo]

I have spent my life savings on fast food
Through many greasy burgers I have chewed
While my wallet’s grown thinner
My waistline's a winner

[Audreyvgs]

I have spent my life savings on fast food
Through many greasy burgers I have chewed
While my wallet’s grown thinner
My waistline's a winner
I've turned into a really trim dude!

[chuckie egg]

Theres somethin' goin' on I don't like it

[Aphrodite]

Theres somethin' goin' on I don't like it
I no longer drive, now I bike it

[noxxville]

Theres somethin' goin' on I don't like it
I no longer drive, now I bike it
The seat hurts my ass

[daverbee]

Theres somethin' goin' on I don't like it
I no longer drive, now I bike it
The seat hurts my ass
Pedaling gives me gas

[zenbabe]

Theres somethin' goin' on I don't like it
I no longer drive, now I bike it
The seat hurts my ass
Pedaling gives me gas
By the time I get home I can't sit!

[rapscalious rob]

There once was an everything bagel

[catbelly]

There once was an everything bagel
That got lost on the floor of a stable

[zenbabe]

There once was an everything bagel
That got lost on the floor of a stable
All the poppy seeds have been lost

[daverbee]

There once was an everything bagel
That got lost on the floor of a stable
All the poppy seeds have been lost
The onion flakes all got tossed

[Smartypants]

There once was an everything bagel
That got lost on the floor of a stable
All the poppy seeds have been lost
The onion flakes all got tossed
What is left'll be et if we're able

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've applied for a job at the zoo

[Smartypants]

I've applied for a job at the zoo
Feeding beavers and shov'ling their poo

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I've applied for a job at the zoo
Feeding beavers and shov'ling their poo
When they ask "Are you qualified?"

[AllegroNg]

I've applied for a job at the zoo
Feeding beavers and shov'ling their poo
When they ask "Are you qualified?"
I LOVE beavers, so I lied!

[Aphrodite]

I've applied for a job at the zoo
Feeding beavers and shov'ling their poo
When they ask "Are you qualified?"
I LOVE beavers, so I lied!
and I'm gonna make beaver tail stew!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I just bought a pair of wild cheetahs

[zenbabe]

I just bought a pair of wild cheetahs
Now I can show off my bling on my feetahs

[Smartypants]

I just bought a pair of wild cheetahs
Now I can show off my bling on my feetahs
These bauble-clad toenails

[daverbee]

I just bought a pair of wild cheetahs
Now I can show off my bling on my feetahs
These bauble-clad toenails
Make the cheetahs emit loud wails

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I just bought a pair of wild cheetahs
Now I can show off my bling on my feetahs
These bauble-clad toenails
Make the cheetahs emit loud wails
Which distracts when making Magaritas

[zenbabe]

So now I am currently homeless

[Smartypants]

The word of the day is "chiliastic"

[daverbee]

So now I am currently homeless
I have a tent in a field of watercress


The word of the day is "chiliastic"
With red beans, it's quite orgiastic

[Aphrodite]

So now I am currently homeless
I have a tent in a field of watercress
I live on the sandwiches

The word of the day is "chiliastic"
With red beans, it's quite orgiastic
But no one comes near me

[daverbee]

So now I am currently homeless
I have a tent in a field of watercress
I live on the sandwiches
Sleeping on watercress itches

The word of the day is "chiliastic"
With red beans, it's quite orgiastic
But no one comes near me
My flatulence makes folks flee

[Hyakujo's Fox]

So now I am currently homeless
I have a tent in a field of watercress
I live on the sandwiches
Sleeping on watercress itches
Which I scratch at with so much finesse

The word of the day is "chiliastic"
With red beans, it's quite orgiastic
But no one comes near me
My flatulence makes folks flee
And my car pool friends less enthusiastic

[Coffee]

This thread is going to two separate hells





This thread is going to two separate hells







(it would have happened anyhow...right? ;)

[rapscalious rob]

This thread is going to two separate hells
THAT is why I have been wearing my bells

This thread is going to two separate hells
The one that attracts and the one that repels

[Hyakujo's Fox]

This thread is going to two separate hells
THAT is why I have been wearing my bells
So when I hear them start ringing

This thread is going to two separate hells
The one that attracts and the one that repels
One's for naughty Zemonkeys

[Smartypants]

This thread is going to two separate hells
THAT is why I have been wearing my bells
So when I hear them start ringing
The Advil I'm slinging

This thread is going to two separate hells
The one that attracts and the one that repels
One's for naughty Zemonkeys
The other's for junkies

[daverbee]

This thread is going to two separate hells
THAT is why I have been wearing my bells
So when I hear them start ringing
The Advil I'm slinging
I can't think of a good ending for this one and that's just as well.

This thread is going to two separate hells
The one that attracts and the one that repels
One's for naughty Zemonkeys
The other's for junkies
Who write verse that don't often sells.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

In Hell we will all be united

[Aphrodite]

In Hell we will all be united
So I figure why should we fight it

[Smartypants]

In Hell we will all be united
So I figure why should we fight it
Let's sin as we're born to

[Audreyvgs]

In Hell we will all be united
So I figure why should we fight it
Let's sin as we're born to
til the condom is worn thru

[Coffee]

In Hell we will all be united
So I figure why should we fight it
Let's sin as we're born to
til the condom is worn thru
in a hurry? You can also bite it.

[Deviate]

Frequently I get the urge

[chuckie egg]

Frequently I get the urge
I get an uncontrollable surge

[ally]

Frequently I get the urge
I get an uncontrollable surge
To bite a vicar

[Deviate]

Frequently I get the urge
I get an uncontrollable surge
To bite a vicar
Below the knickers

[Smartypants]

Frequently I get the urge
I get an uncontrollable surge
To bite a vicar
Below the knickers
Teeth and shin to divinely converge

[Hyakujo's Fox]

When it comes 'round to matters religious

[funkytuba]

When it comes 'round to matters religious
Some clerics become quite litigious

[Hyakujo's Fox]

When it comes 'round to matters religious
Some clerics become quite litigious
they will say l'm heretical

[ally]

and be theortical

[daverbee]

When it comes 'round to matters religious
Some clerics become quite litigious
they will say l'm heretical
and be theoretical
and care not a whit for the truthious.

[Deviate]

While waiting around for the bus

[Audreyvgs]

While waiting around for the bus
I was peed on by someone named Gus

[funkytuba]

While waiting around for the bus
I was peed on by someone named Gus
He said "aren't you Nixon?"

[Smartypants]

While waiting around for the bus
I was peed on by someone named Gus
He said "aren't you Nixon?"
"Your Pat was a vixen!"

[rapscalious rob]

While waiting around for the bus
I was peed on by someone named Gus
He said "aren't you Nixon?"
"Your Pat was a vixen!"
Then he zipped up and said "what's the fuss?"

[daverbee]

There once was a Prez named George W

[Hyakujo's Fox]

bloody bifurcating limericks!


There once was a Prez named George W
who said "Don't let this little war trouble you..."


There once was a Prez named George W
who said "Some folks, they may try to rub ya..."

[daverbee]

There once was a Prez named George W
who said "Don't let this little war trouble you..."
I will tell you no lies.


There once was a Prez named George W
who said "Some folks, they may try to rub ya..."
"Our economies fine

[Aphrodite]

There once was a Prez named George W
who said "Don't let this little war trouble you..."
I will tell you no lies.
This came straight from our spies

There once was a Prez named George W
who said "Some folks, they may try to rub ya..."
"Our economies fine
I've got oil in mind

[daverbee]

There once was a Prez named George W
who said "Don't let this little war trouble you...
I will tell you no lies.
This came straight from our spies
Trust me! This ain't bull doo-doo!"

There once was a Prez named George W
who said "Some folks, they may try to rub ya..."
"Our economies fine
I've got oil in mind
Your paycheck you can bid adieu."

[Hyakujo's Fox]

I would like a room with a view

[Aphrodite]

I would like a room with a view
White sand beaches and oceans of blue

[Audreyvgs]

I would like a room with a view
White sand beaches and oceans of blue
but I'm stuck in this hut

[Smartypants]

I would like a room with a view
White sand beaches and oceans of blue
but I'm stuck in this hut
And a view it ain't gut

[Audreyvgs]

I would like a room with a view
White sand beaches and oceans of blue
but I'm stuck in this hut
And a view it ain't gut
reality sux, so boo hoo

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Had we but world enough, and time

[mememe]

Had we but world enough, and time
I'd bring you a bottle of wine

[Audreyvgs]

Had we but world enough, and time
I'd bring you a bottle of wine
I'd read you some prose

[Smartypants]

Had we but world enough, and time
I'd bring you a bottle of wine
I'd read you some prose
And then get you to pose

[daverbee]

Had we but world enough, and time
I'd bring you a bottle of wine
I'd read you some prose
And then get you to pose
naked whilst climbing a pine.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Last weekend I tried out treehugging

[daverbee]

Last weekend I tried out treehugging
With a hippie chick I had been fugging

[Smartypants]

Last weekend I tried out treehugging
With a hippie chick I had been fugging
To bed her I said I was vegan

[daverbee]

Last weekend I tried out treehugging
With a hippie chick I had been fugging
To bed her I said I was vegan
Felt sorry for ole Ronny Reagan

[Audreyvgs]

Last weekend I tried out treehugging
With a hippie chick I had been fugging
To bed her I said I was vegan
Felt sorry for ole Ronny Reagan
remembers fuggin with copious drugging

[Smartypants]

[Sorry, I realize I completely screwed up the rythym of that last one.] :(

I will try to do better next time:

I beat myself up over ryhmes

[Audreyvgs]

I beat myself up over ryhmes
I've screwed it up numerous times









------------
tee hee

[Smartypants]

I beat myself up over ryhmes
I've screwed it up numerous times
I'm linguistic-autistic

[Dark Chocolate]

I beat myself up over ryhmes
I've screwed it up numerous times
I'm linguistic-autistic
and somewhat sadistic

[Aphrodite]

I beat myself up over ryhmes
I've screwed it up numerous times
I'm linguistic-autistic
and somewhat sadistic
I hope I'm not charged for these crimes.

[daverbee]

Counting sheep to aid me in sleeping

[Aphrodite]

Counting sheep to aid me in sleeping
Dawn will soon come a'creeping

[daverbee]

Counting sheep to aid me in sleeping
Dawn will soon come a'creeping
Without rest I'm useless

[Audreyvgs]

Counting sheep to aid me in sleeping
Dawn will soon come a'creeping
Without rest I'm useless
fatigue is just ruthless

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Counting sheep to aid me in sleeping
Dawn will soon come a'creeping
Without rest I'm useless
fatigue is just ruthless
So those sheep had better keep leaping

[daverbee]

Hangovers caused by too much Guinness

[Audreyvgs]

Hangovers caused by too much Guinness
cause bedspins that befit a princess

[rapscalious rob]

Hangovers caused by too much Guinness
cause bedspins that befit a princess
all the world seems a top!

[Smartypants]

Hangovers caused by too much Guinness
cause bedspins that befit a princess
all the world seems a top!
O Lord, pleeez make it stop!

[rapscalious rob]

Hangovers caused by too much Guinness
cause bedspins that befit a princess
all the world seems a top!
O Lord, pleeez make it stop!
I just puked on my damn TV din-ehs.

[rapscalious rob]

There once were some trousers quite clever

[Audreyvgs]

There once were some trousers quite clever
the zipper it thrice tried to sever













think dink :rolleyes:

[daverbee]

There once were some trousers quite clever
the zipper it thrice tried to sever
the poor owners johnson

[Smartypants]

There once were some trousers quite clever
the zipper it thrice tried to sever
the poor owners johnson
which stretched clear to Wisconsin

[daverbee]

There once were some trousers quite clever
the zipper it thrice tried to sever
the poor owners johnson
which stretched clear to Wisconsin
making it quite handy as a lever.

[Hyakujo's Fox]

While reading works of the ancient Greeks

[daverbee]

While reading works of the ancient Greeks
a task I'd been at for weeks

[Hyakujo's Fox]

While reading works of the ancient Greeks
a task I'd been at for weeks
I found a recipe for cake

[Audreyvgs]

While reading works of the ancient Greeks
a task I'd been at for weeks
I found a recipe for cake
that was too old to make

[Smartypants]

While reading works of the ancient Greeks
a task I'd been at for weeks
I found a recipe for cake
that was too old to make
but divulged Aristotle liked leeks.

[zenbabe]

I am making a tumble weed pie

[Smartypants]

I am making a tumble weed pie
Which like my wit tends to be dry

[zenbabe]

I am making a tumble weed pie
Which like my wit tends to be dry
Now its just for a snack

[rapscalious rob]

I am making a tumble weed pie
Which like my wit tends to be dry
Now its just for a snack
it won’t make my lips smack

[daverbee]

I am making a tumble weed pie
Which like my wit tends to be dry
Now its just for a snack
it won’t make my lips smack
but, of course, it won't attract flies.

[Coffee]

A nap after raking some leaves

[rapscalious rob]

A nap after raking some leaves
gave a chance to my neighbors, the thieves

[Smartypants]

A nap after raking some leaves
gave a chance to my neighbors, the thieves
They tip-toed right by me

[lapietra]

A nap after raking some leaves
gave a chance to my neighbors, the thieves
They tip-toed right by me
Every Tom, Dick and Jaime

[Smartypants]

A nap after raking some leaves
gave a chance to my neighbors, the thieves
They tip-toed right by me
Every Tom, Dick and Jaime
And swiped all I owned, I believes.

[lapietra]

A child in a pink bunny suit

[zenbabe]

A child in a pink bunny suit
Aunt Gertrude thinks is quite cute

[Smartypants]

A child in a pink bunny suit
Aunt Gertrude thinks is quite cute
States, "a nose is a nose..."

[zenbabe]

A child in a pink bunny suit
Aunt Gertrude thinks is quite cute
States, "a nose is a nose..."
And with a little corn rose...

[Audreyvgs]

A child in a pink bunny suit
Aunt Gertrude thinks is quite cute
States, "a nose is a nose..."
And with a little corn rose...
you'd be cutest in a suit of zoot!

[Gatsby]

A tabby cat curled in the sun

[chuckie egg]

A tabby cat curled in the sun
the kids make noise and have fun

[Smartypants]

A tabby cat curled in the sun
the kids make noise and have fun
some string and a tin can

[Audreyvgs]

A tabby cat curled in the sun
the kids make noise and have fun
some string and a tin can
and the cord to a fan

[daverbee]

A tabby cat curled in the sun
the kids make noise and have fun
some string and a tin can
and the cord to a fan
and laughter is shared by everyone.

[rapscalious rob]

There once was a feline quite sneaky

[Gatsby]

There once was a feline quite sneaky
Whose unfortunate growl was just squeaky

[Smartypants]

There once was a feline quite sneaky
Whose unfortunate growl was just squeaky
When planning to pounce

[Gatsby]

There once was a feline quite sneaky
Whose unfortunate growl was just squeaky
When planning to pounce
On prey he'd soon trounce

[Smartypants]

There once was a feline quite sneaky
Whose unfortunate growl was just squeaky
When planning to pounce
On prey he'd soon trounce
All the mice in his sights thought him geeky.

[Audreyvgs]

As a child, she ate spoons full of dirt

[zenbabe]

As a child, she ate spoons full of dirt
And with danger, was a very good flirt

[madasacutsnake]

She contracted E Coli

[madasacutsnake]

Oops forgot the header.

As a child, she ate spoons full of dirt
And with danger, was a very good flirt
She contracted E Coli

[Audreyvgs]

As a child, she ate spoons full of dirt
And with danger, was a very good flirt
She contracted E Coli
and spinal bif-i-di

[madasacutsnake]

As a child, she ate spoons full of dirt
And with danger, was a very good flirt
She contracted E Coli
and spinal bif-i-di
And ate pickles and grubs for dessert

[daverbee]

A wall that was built by our Audrey

[dinzdale]

A wall that was built by our Audrey
To keep out the neighbours so tawdry

[daverbee]

A wall that was built by our Audrey
To keep out the neighbours so tawdry
Not to mention the gators

[Smartypants]

A wall that was built by our Audrey
To keep out the neighbours so tawdry
Not to mention the gators
And nescient curators

[lapietra]

A wall that was built by our Audrey
To keep out the neighbours so tawdry
Not to mention the gators
And nescient curators
and folks shouting out bits of bawdry.

[ambo]

See the scissor I'm running with here

[dinzdale]

See the scissor I'm running with here
with a dangerous Devil-may-care

[daverbee]

See the scissor I'm running with here
with a dangerous Devil-may-care
Though I'm pierced through the sternum

[lapietra]

See the scissor I'm running with here
with a dangerous Devil-may-care
Though I'm pierced through the sternum
You can't make me turn 'em :p

[Audreyvgs]

See the scissor I'm running with here
with a dangerous Devil-may-care
Though I'm pierced through the sternum
You can't make me turn 'em :p
cause I'll leak and I'd lose all my beer :rolleyes:

[Smartypants]

A middle-aged mailman named Morris

[ambo]

A middle-aged mailman named Morris
Had a mind that he pulled out to bore us

[daverbee]

A middle-aged mailman named Morris
Had a mind that he pulled out to bore us
The sight of his brains

[Audreyvgs]

A middle-aged mailman named Morris
Had a mind that he pulled out to bore us
The sight of his brains
in his hat gave me pains

[ambo]

A middle-aged mailman named Morris
Had a mind that he pulled out to bore us
The sight of his brains
in his hat gave me pains
And I just won't believe he's a Taurus

[daverbee]

Condi Rice has agreed now to speak

[Smartypants]

Condi Rice has agreed now to speak
From which side of her mouth will words leak?

[daverbee]

Condi Rice has agreed now to speak
From which side of her mouth will words leak?
Or maybe through clenched teeth?

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Condi Rice has agreed now to speak
From which side of her mouth will words leak?
Or maybe through clenched teeth?
From somewhere underneath?

[Audreyvgs]

Condi Rice has agreed now to speak
From which side of her mouth will words leak?
Or maybe through clenched teeth?
From somewhere underneath?
From the pressure, I think maybe she'll squeak!

[daverbee]

Congestion has plugged up my nostrils.

[Spicy Jack]

Congestion has plugged up my nostrils.
And is oozing down to my tonsils

[daverbee]

Congestion has plugged up my nostrils.
And is oozing down to my tonsils
my throats been epoxied

[zenbabe]

Congestion has plugged up my nostrils.
And is oozing down to my tonsils
my throats been epoxied
And alpha Hydroxied

[Smartypants]

Congestion has plugged up my nostrils.
And is oozing down to my tonsils
my throats been epoxied
And alpha Hydroxied
To fend off the pollen of jonquils

[Hyakujo's Fox]

There once was a robber called Rufus

[Spicy Jack]

There once was a robber called Rufus
Who was an abhorant duffus

[Smartypants]

There once was a robber called Rufus
Who was an abhorrent dufus
His infamous M.O.

[daverbee]

There once was a robber called Rufus
Who was an abhorrent dufus
His infamous M.O.
Was to use his B.O.

[Audreyvgs]

There once was a robber called Rufus
Who was an abhorrent dufus
His infamous M.O.
Was to use his B.O.
as a weapon to steal a whole schoolbus!

[ambo]

Oh where has that sweet Chuckie Egg gone ?

[Audreyvgs]

Oh where has that sweet Chuckie Egg gone ?
Last I saw, she was looking quite wan!

[Hyakujo's Fox]

Chuckie's a she?

Oh where has that sweet Chuckie Egg gone ?
Last I saw, she was looking quite wan!
Has she gone off to hatch?

[Smartypants]

Oh where has that sweet Chuckie Egg gone ?
Last I saw, she was looking quite wan!
Has she gone off to hatch?
Tell us Chuck, what's the catch?

[Audreyvgs]

Oh where has that sweet Chuckie Egg gone ?
Last I saw, she was looking quite wan!
Has she gone off to hatch?
Tell us Chuck, what's the catch?
She might just be trying to spawn!

[daverbee]

Cast iron has a habit of rusting