I lost a contact lens. If you find it, please call 011-86-10-758-4444. Ask for Ping.

Bet you didn't realize how much cat tastes like duck.

For your sake, I hope you didn't order any of the daily specials.

I hope you were serious about wanting a career change, your boss is at the table behind you.

Don't forget to pay the last installment of your life insurance before you cross the street. Today is the day.

For your personal health and safety, ignore all messages found in these little cookies.

You idiot! The place across the street has better food and service, and cheaper prices.

A self referential fortune cookie fortune will leave you vaguely dissatisfied.

These fortune cookie jokes are just going to get worse and worse.

Aren't you the customer who forgot to tip last time?

that strange noise you hear in the kitchen when you're alone at night is exactly what you think it is.

The market will tank tomorrow. Sell everything at the opening bell. Sell! Sell!

Reward for lost contact lens. Please call Wing (03-753-976-4073).

You are 67 days late on your car payment. Please call 1-888-555-1212 to make payment arrangements.

Congratulations!