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-   -   I considered not posting this (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=2727)

zenbabe 09-10-2003 10:37 PM

I considered not posting this
 
But someone talked me into it, its a pretty sour subject. Rape that is..so don't click if you are at all squeemish.

click

I have never heard of this happening on the street..

I have been wondering all day whether men or women are more emotionally affected by rape. The pain aspect is definatly more severe in this sort of case...but just the fact that men can't talk to their friends, have identity issues and not as much support from groups and such.

I really think it might be worse for men. But I don't really know. It is horrible either way.....

sorry if this offends anyone....

malina 09-10-2003 10:40 PM

you shouldn't apologize, zen. you told people to be cautious and gave them an option. who wants to read it, can read it. i choose not to. i have my reasons.

zenbabe 09-10-2003 10:43 PM

I have issues as well...but I can't help thinking about it.....I am curious to see what guys think about it....

I asked my husband and he said guys would be more affected because of the reasons I listed above....

But I dunno....

Miss Malevolent 09-10-2003 11:41 PM

I think in many ways a rape can BE worse for a man.

Cause other men might view him as a punk or think he's gay or whatever bone head ideas that men have about rape.

Fact is, and unfortunately that story illustrates it...

That rape can happen to anyone...and it isn't about sex.

Many men can't wrap their minds around the penis being used as a means for violence and not sex.

Which is why a guy would have a hard time getting support after a rape. Cause much like a woman, his friends would think, "Did he want it? If he didn't want it, why did he LET it happen?"

I had this topic on one of my radio shows, coincidentally enough.

We got into a debate on whether a man could be raped by a woman.

zenbabe 09-11-2003 12:01 AM

A man could be raped by a woman..easily...but I don't think it would have the stigma of being raped by a man....

If a man was raped by a woman...he would probably brag about it...

rapscalious rob 09-11-2003 12:05 AM

Jeezo criminy! Thatís really hairy stuff!
 
I canít answer whether men or women are more affected: thatís logically impossible, since for one thing men and women are all different and though they may as a group display tendencies, psychologically, to go in one direction or another, individually, they are all different and all respond differently.

As a group, men tend to react to stress betterÖ at least thatís what all the scientific articles Iíve read seem to indicateÖ so I think guys -- as a group (not each individual, mind you) could handle it better. I would probably break.

Of course, men do get raped regularly every day -- look at the U.S. prison system.

-- but then youíre getting into the injustice of the justice system. Donít go there, girlfriend.

zenbabe 09-11-2003 12:14 AM

I wasn't talking about prison at all. That is exempt from this conversation...except for the fact that that guy that did it will soon be someone's, in fact more than just one's bitch...very soon..

I am talking about on the street stuff. This is something I have never heard about before...

Miss Malevolent 09-11-2003 12:21 AM

Re: Jeezo criminy! Thatís really hairy stuff!
 
Quote:

Originally posted by rapscalious rob
As a group, men tend to react to stress betterÖ at least thatís what all the scientific articles Iíve read seem to indicateÖ so I think guys -- as a group (not each individual, mind you) could handle it better.
Not according the the rape stats I found.

They have a higher rate of suicide than their female counterparts, AFTER an incident.

And they're less likely to report it for fear of being viewed as a "punk."

As a man in this society you're less than a man if you get raped.

*groans as she digs out her rape statistics links*

zenbabe 09-11-2003 12:31 AM

I think that a guy would take it much harder....I am not sure why though...I think that a guy would be able to have sex again much sooner than a chick if raped.

still..I am not sure why......

The suicide stat makes sense..since I don't think there are to many people a guy would talk to about it.....and that would really suck....

catbelly 09-11-2003 12:35 AM

Actually, I think social dynamics and hierarchy in men's prisons are very relevant - they are a world without women, after all. It's not such a reach to think that a man with propensities for rape that may have been perpetrated on a woman outside would be perpetrated on men inside. It really is not about sex.

It's not talked about a lot, but many men who would not identify as gay do form loving relationships with other men inside (human needs for love, comfort, companionship, sex), and have to deal with the whole gay stigma after they get out. Anyway my point there is that inside a prison not all sex is rape.

So... is it worse for men? Speaking about male on male rape, I agree with the Rapscalious one, depends on the person. In terms of society, it's also totally subjective what "worse" means. Women deal with not being believed, having their character assassinated, being told that they caused it because of their appearance, on and on. Men have to deal with a challenge to their sexual orientation, a challenge to their maleness, a smackdown re: their standing in the pack - note that all of these things relate to social hierarchy. Then, they also have to deal with the other awful things women go through.

It makes me think that on some level, women are already at the level in society where being raped doesn't interfere with their social hierarchy (unless they live in a culture where they *must* be a virgin before marriage). So maybe from this point of view it is worse for a man, because he's fallen further since he was up higher to begin with.

zenbabe 09-11-2003 12:47 AM

again, I am totally not talking about rape in prison. I am talking about being woken up in a park, while on a date with a chick and being raped.

I agree, it's a totall stigma thing...I don't know if a straight guy could handle being raped. I don't think a chick could either..but on a totally different level.......

I have just never really thought about it....

catbelly 09-11-2003 12:51 AM

I know you're not, but I am :)

catbelly 09-11-2003 01:09 AM

Miz Mal, I don't know what the term "punk" means in this context - can you enlighten?

zen, what do you see as the major difference between being raped in prison and being raped outside of prison? I don't get why you don't want the prison scenario brought in - do you think it's not relevant?

Miss Malevolent 09-11-2003 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by catbelly
Miz Mal, I don't know what the term "punk" means in this context - can you enlighten?

zen, what do you see as the major difference between being raped in prison and being raped outside of prison? I don't get why you don't want the prison scenario brought in - do you think it's not relevant?

"punk" is a term they give to someone who is gay in street terminology.

Or they're weak....along those lines.

Like a "punk ass bitch" is how it's usually used.

catbelly 09-11-2003 01:13 AM

Aha... thanks... does it ever have the connotation of being a "boy toy" type prostitute?


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