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-   -   The Dictionary Game (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=7884)

Marcus Bales 03-17-2005 09:28 PM

The Dictionary Game
 
The "original" dictionary game goes like this:

Materials: pencils and paper for everyone; one dictionary.

Rules: The first player selects a word from the dictionary and writes the definition on a piece of paper, and marks it with his or her name. The word is then read to the group. Each player writes his or her definition on a piece of paper, and marks it with his or her name. The selector then arbitrarily numbers each definition and all the pieces of paper (including the real definition) are put in a container from which the selector of the word draws them one by one and reads them aloud, except for the names.

Play: Each player then writes down which definition he or she believes is the genuine dictionary definition, indicating by number, key word, or quotation. When all players (except the selector, who, of course, knows) has written down his or her selection of the genuine definition, the selector reveals the genuine definition.

Scoring: One point for each player who correctly identifies the genuine definition. One point for every vote that it was the genuine one goes to the creator of each definition that got a vote as the genuine definition.

Strategy: Ideally, one would oneself identify the genuine definition while having written a definition which gets everyone's vote but one's own.

The Online Version

Clearly, this game is not tansferable to cyberspace, not because anyone would cheat but because everyone would -– except philosophers, of course, who are above such sordid behavior, but thin on the ground no matter where you look. If they'd eat more, they would be neither so thin, nor unable to stand up, nor so few.

The basis of the game online, then, is to entertain ourselves by creating interesting definitions and reading others' interesting definitions of words which we are all perfectly free to look up so that we can appreciate each others' ingenuity in creating plausible or witty or funny or offensive or any other kind of definitions -- so long as they are wrong -- or mostly wrong, or at least wrong enough that we know you didn't just crib it from the dictionary.

The word-picker is obliged to judge the entries in as entertaining (and therefore often as whimsical and even capricious) a way as possible, and report on the result to the group, in the process reviewing the other entries in as entertaining way as possible, and then naming the unlucky winner. Winning is a mixed blessing since the winner becomes the new word-picker, and is then obliged to keep track of the new entries, and to judge them, with commentary, for the entertainment of all.

When a round of play is over is entirely up to the word-picker of that round, but the judges are implored to get on with it, and threatened by the prospect, if they let their round drag on, of having to judge multiple entries as the natives, always restless, start to mutter and post definitions disparaging the judge and questioning whether his or her family life is entirely on the up-and-up.

So if there is a rule it is to be entertaining and, if you have the brains god gave giraffes, to come in second -- or even last! If you should have the misfortune to actually win, you are obliged to immediately choose another word and start keeping track of the entries, or beg off AT ONCE so the former judge can wipe the smug smile off the face of that giggling second-place person by assigning the top spot to him or her.

If, in the judgment of the Judicial Board (that is, me) too much time has gone by between words, or in closing off entries for a particular word, the Board reserves the right to issue, capriciously and whimsically, an arbitrary and binding judgment and either issue a new word or choose a "winner" from the current entries, thus obligating someone else to do the work of judging.
So, to summarize,

The Non-Rules: Be entertaining and be quick or be quiet.

The Zatoichi Presumption: That if two entries are alike, the second one was invented just as honorably as the first.

The 12"Razormix Non-Rule: That if the winner of a round of play doesn't pick a new word pretty much right away, and can't be PM'd or emailed to prompt them to post a new word, the smug smile will be wiped off the face of the unlucky holder of the Coveted Second Place Award, and he or she will become the winner of the round.

The Multiple Entry Amendment: There is no Multiple Entry Amendment, except as individual judges decide, with rightful whimsicality or capriciousness, to create one for their own purposes. Fore-warned is fore-armed -- and fore-armed is what you get if you're a rookie in the NBA.

For adjudications and arbitrations of disputes about Non-Rules and Shady Practices, it's just barely possible that I might be persuaded to scrape my fingers off the cocoa-encrusted table and, raising my bleary, chocolate-reddened eyes to the screen, navigate to whichever file it is in which I've stored THE NON-RULES in order to issue a judgment -- attached to a provocative note which will shock your significant other and astonish your neighbors.

And the first word is: AMPHIBOLY

Marcus

Hermione 03-17-2005 10:44 PM

I love this game. I played it all the time during my SAT classes.

Smartypants 03-17-2005 11:03 PM

I love this game too! Great idea! I will start:

AMPHIBOLY -- From Amphi, meaning dual, and Bolus, meaning a soft mass of chewed food, amphiboly is the early stage of rumination in cows and other cud-chewing animals when the liquids and solids have yet to coalesce into a cohesive mass.

Smartypants 03-17-2005 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by surbhi
I love this game. I played it all the time during my SAT classes.

And, um, did this help or hinder your final SAT scores? ;)

Hyakujo's Fox 03-17-2005 11:23 PM

AMPHIBOLY (n) - the practice of, or desire for, sexual intercourse in breaking waves. Named after a Roman goddess associated with bays and rockpools.

madasacutsnake 03-18-2005 12:01 AM

AMPHIBOLY (n) - the practice of drinking sparkling white wine from art nouveau or arts and crafts/mission style vases - from the greek, amphora, and the french, bollinger.

Malmal11787 03-18-2005 04:19 AM

AMPHIBOLY (n) - the practice in which a frog (amphibian), becomes very intelligent at the old pastime game of boly.

trisherina 03-18-2005 05:00 AM

amphiboly (n) - The realization that one is able to safely engage in activities both in and out of the water, usually reached developmentally by about the age of four.

trisherina 03-18-2005 05:00 AM

.

Ms Robbie 03-18-2005 05:05 AM

amphiboly -- The practice, in some ancient Middle Eastern cultures, of delivering a child under water, then requiring it to swim to land in order to live. Such cultures usually died out after two generations, causing a subsequent modification of the practice in the form of full-body immersion at a later stage in life. [See baptism.]

craig johnston 03-18-2005 11:01 AM

amphiboly - a state of arousal in young south asian women brought about by dancing to bhangra music on saturday afternoons. inordinate lengths are taken to hide this state from parents while flaunting it to potential suitors.

funkytuba 03-19-2005 05:39 AM

amphiboly - the act of raising your voice when getting a strike in bowling

zenbabe 03-19-2005 06:24 AM

FVCK!

Marcus Bales 03-19-2005 01:18 PM

The Boring Actual Definition -- Amphiboly: a grammatical structure that allows for two different understandings. For example, in Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine the humor is built almost entirely on amphiboly as Abbott’s explanations that “Who’s on first”, meaning a player named “Who” is playing first base, are misinterpreted by Costello as “Who’s on first”, meaning a question about the name of the player who is playing first base. It’s funnier when they do it.

MR.Smartypants
AMPHIBOLY -- From Amphi, meaning dual, and Bolus, meaning a soft mass of chewed food, amphiboly is the early stage of rumination in cows and other cud-chewing animals when the liquids and solids have yet to coalesce into a cohesive mass.

The Ew! Award -- Too much information about something we didn’t want to know anything at all about.

madasacutsnake
AMPHIBOLY (n) - the practice of drinking sparkling white wine from art nouveau or arts and crafts/mission style vases - from the greek, amphora, and the french, bollinger.

The Alcoholic Haze Award -- There are no nouveau, arts-and-crafts, or mission-style amphorae; all those guys made the far more practical 16.9 oz vessel decorated with naked Polynesians: the Bali-Bolli glass.

Malmal11787
AMPHIBOLY (n) - the practice in which a frog (amphibian), becomes very intelligent at the old pastime game of boly.

The Bah! Award -- Everyone knows that frogs are born playing boly, and it doesn’t take any effort at all to get good at it.

trisherina
AMPHIBOLY -- (n) - The realization that one is able to safely engage in activities both in and out of the water, usually reached developmentally by about the age of four.

The Judges Don’t Get It Award -- There seems to be something significant about this definition, but no points for jokes that whoosh over the judges’ heads.

craig johnston
AMPHIBOLY -- a state of arousal in young south asian women brought about by dancing to bhangra music on saturday afternoons. inordinate lengths are taken to hide this state from parents while flaunting it to potential suitors.

The Almost Sex Comes In Almost Second Award -- It would have won had there been a joke about Boliwood in there along with south asia, so you lucked out, there, Craig.

funkytuba
AMPHIBOLY -- the act of raising your voice when getting a strike in bowling
zenbabe
AMPHIBOLY -- FVCK!

The Joint Entry Award is jointly awarded to Funky and Zen, for his definition and her example.

Hyakujo's Fox
AMPHIBOLY (n) - the practice of, or desire for, sexual intercourse in breaking waves. Named after a Roman goddess associated with bays and rockpools.

The Coveted Second Place Award -- As usual, sex sells, and the judges bought it this time, too. Woo hoo!

Ms Robbie
AMPHIBOLY -- The practice, in some ancient Middle Eastern cultures, of delivering a child under water, then requiring it to swim to land in order to live. Such cultures usually died out after two generations, causing a subsequent modification of the practice in the form of full-body immersion at a later stage in life. [See baptism.]

The Winner! The judges actually believed this was right for a moment, until wiser heads prevailed and the orgy began.

Take it away, Robbie!

trisherina 03-19-2005 04:34 PM

Heh, I would have picked that one, too; it was great! Go, Ms Robbie!

Ms Robbie 03-19-2005 06:36 PM

Oh, dear.

Well, I'll begin, of course, by thanking all the little people. That removes Marcus from the list of those being thanked, which is as it should be.

All right, wordlings, wrap your contorted definitions around this: misology.

madasacutsnake 03-19-2005 10:24 PM

(Congrats Robbie.)

Ms Robbie 03-21-2005 12:48 AM

No entries?

funkytuba 03-21-2005 04:33 AM

<i>misology</i> - the incorrect application of scientific methods to reinforce a false premise: "We've got to cut down this forest to save it!"

funkytuba 03-21-2005 04:35 AM

*didn't look first.. I swear!*
*wonders if maybe I should have*

Hyakujo's Fox 03-21-2005 04:42 AM

misology (n) - the theory and practice of trapping small mammals with cheese.

xfox 03-21-2005 05:41 AM

This is when the person you miss the most leaves to take a pseudonymous lover and gets away with it. This has been born out by kings and paupers over the centuries.

Ms Robbie 03-21-2005 10:14 PM

Judging tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon, Pacific time.

madasacutsnake 03-21-2005 10:47 PM

misology - the process of misunderstanding an analogue, for example whenever Trish posts.

Smartypants 03-21-2005 11:47 PM

MISOLOGY - The study of politically correct terminology to indicate marital status in females.

Coffee 03-22-2005 12:15 AM

Misology:
The study, or rather the cult-science that focuses on the total process that includes the cultivation and harvesting of the base elements of Miso Soup, as well as "the" correct manner of it's preparation and presentation/serving...

...


...well...some folks can get pretty anal about "their" thing...like me and coffee preparation, so I can sorta relate.

Marcus Bales 03-22-2005 07:32 PM

Misology - The study of the practice of talking dirty during the act to enhance sexual performance and enjoyment, from Ernst Miso, whose best-selling book in the 17th century was suppressed by Priapus V. As they lead him to the stake, Miso is said to have muttered "But it still &%#$@*!"

Ms Robbie 03-22-2005 09:34 PM

Here come da judge.

misology, n. hatred of reason or reasoning.

madasacutsnake wins the deluxe edition of Funk & Wagnalls, complete with mayonnaise jars, for getting all too close to the actual definition.

Smartypants is awarded a lifetime membership in NOW for being politically correct as he tries to figure out which women are really available.

Coffee gets the all-you-can-eat-and-slurp lunch at the local sushi bar for taking such care with miso soup.

Marcus Bales takes the Tropic of Cancer honorary plaque with Lolita clusters for inspired dirty talking.

The judge thought all of these were wonderful, but two were especially praiseworthy. Smartypants takes the coveted second place, and Coffee is nailed with the dreaded first place for making the judge snort her soup while giggling.

madasacutsnake 03-22-2005 10:55 PM

Funky and Wagnall! And mayo jars too........

Coffee 03-22-2005 11:47 PM

damn...I never win. :eek:
I thought I was safe with a goofy soup definition. :p

Ok, ok...new word:

Ruction

Ms Robbie 03-23-2005 03:35 AM

Ruction - a type of auction dealing exclusively in backpacks.

funkytuba 03-23-2005 04:02 AM

Ruction -- what Paul Rubins (Pee Wee Herman) got in trouble for showing in public down in Florida. Honestly, y'honor, ah could see his 'Ruction

xfox 03-23-2005 04:16 AM

Bruce Springsteins' godfathers' middle name.
http://www.vintagemagazines.com/newe...il/bruce-4.jpg

sparticle 03-23-2005 05:01 AM

Ruction:

A rolling platform, akin to a dolly, used to transport scolding ideologues from one public gathering place to the next to deliver freshly crafted harangues before they fall flat. (The harangues, that is, not the ideologues nor the ructions on which they are wheeled about. Harangues must be carefully prepared and promptly delivered or they go flat and stale.)

zenbabe 03-23-2005 05:35 AM

Ruction
 
What occurs after a rupture, that gets sold to the highest bidder

Smartypants 03-23-2005 06:12 AM

RUCTION - (n. slang) - Late 20th century term referring to injurious interpersonal energy produced in crowded places, e.g., in dance club mosh pits or during clearance sales at Filene's or Loehmann's department stores. A contraction of the term "ruckus" and "friction."

funkytuba 03-23-2005 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smartypants
during clearance sales at Filene's or Loehmann's department stores

<img src=http://www.loehmanns.com/images/2003_fall/logo_230x30.gif>
<img align=top src=http://www.loehmanns.com/images/email/20040414_designersho/desingersho_02.gif><img src=http://www.loehmanns.com/images/email/20040414_designersho/desingersho_03.jpg>
(check the image name)

melissa 03-23-2005 06:24 AM

I wish I could be a designer ho.

Marcus Bales 03-23-2005 02:02 PM

Ruction

The sound a fellow makes before a Gorgon
Changes corpore sano to campagna sano,
Or makes when there are tulips on the organ
Instead of merely roses on the piano.

dinzdale 03-23-2005 04:32 PM

Ruction n. usually plural (ructions)
A tsunami like reaction by one's mother when caught swinging on the gate, throwing plasticine, eating mud, punching the dog etc...
Normally prefaced by threats up to and including waiting for your father to get home.
"If you dont stop that right this minute young man, there will be ructions"


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