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§olomon 11-21-2005 05:41 AM


§olomon 11-21-2005 05:54 AM


lapietra 11-21-2005 02:10 PM

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERYhandsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just
about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that
I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to
be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says,
"Yes, I'm single and Catholic!
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are! you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and
I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party."

AllegroNg 11-21-2005 02:26 PM

http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?t=8986 !!!!!!!

Jack Flanders 11-21-2005 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lapietra
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERYhandsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just
about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that
I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to
be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says,
"Yes, I'm single and Catholic!
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are! you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and
I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party."

That made my day!!!!

lapietra 11-21-2005 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Flanders
That made my day!!!!

Yay! :D

Jack Flanders 11-21-2005 07:41 PM

Check out this site www.myspace.com/hurratorpedo!!!

Rune - are these guys for real? This is really a riot!!

lapietra 11-21-2005 08:40 PM

http://cia.gov/cia/information/bush.html

eta: I keep going back to look at this... this *really* *is* a page on the CIA's site. Not the Onion. CIA. Central Intelligence Agency.

No wonder. No fckuing wonder. *shakes head*

I wuz gonna make a remark like "Center for Intelligence... like, 'Center of Light', like, those who need light should visit".
'kay. Enough creative editing.

smellyrayzin 11-21-2005 10:16 PM

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." --George W. Bush, Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo.

Jack Flanders 11-22-2005 12:31 AM

What???? WTFFFFFF!!!

§olomon 11-22-2005 04:14 AM


Jack Flanders 11-22-2005 01:40 PM

;)

Avalon 11-22-2005 02:09 PM

Quote:

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." --George W. Bush, Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo.
Moron :rolleyes:

Hey George..around here a couple of Drs. tried practicing their love with their women patients. ( 1 pediatrician and 2 ob-gyn's to exact oh! and a dentist ) The are now all in the Big House with girfriends named Bubba or Big Al.

jasmina 11-22-2005 02:42 PM

www.jowlers.com

Welcome To Jowlers.com!
This site is a place for you to upload and browse a unique type of photo that we like to call the Jowler. These fun pictures are created when the subject of a photo shakes their head really fast while the picture is taken. So, enjoy these unique expressions and if you feel up to it, take a few of your own and post em up.

jasmina 11-22-2005 02:43 PM

.

priceyfatprude 11-22-2005 10:51 PM

The callers at work today. There must be a full moon. Due to HIPAA regulations, I cannot go into detail. But rest assured, there are some crazy ppl out there.

Hyakujo's Fox 11-23-2005 01:49 AM

Quote:

The enhancements implemented in this upgrade include:
  • new Mandatory fields when creating Opportunities, which will allow Bankers to review details within their funnel with more clarity

 

madasacutsnake 11-23-2005 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by priceyfatprude
There must be a full moon.

That was last week. I keep track because it's an occupational hazard.

"Pleeze daaaahling, reeeeng for me 27 Cook St, Edwardstown"

"Look, my wife's waiting for me at home and she'll be worried. Can't somebody take me home?"

"I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear"

"Mother will never let me come here again!"

"Tosh!!!!!!!" (WTF?! I dunno)


"Pleeze daaaahling, reeeeng for me............."

"...........Can't somebody take me home?"

"Mother is going to be really angry............."

"I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear, I'll say goodnight now dear............."

FULL

MOON

MAKE

IT

STOP

Hyakujo's Fox 11-23-2005 04:27 AM

nothing a train ticket to brisbane wouldn't fix

craig johnston 11-23-2005 04:57 AM

the test



:rolleyes:

jasmina 11-23-2005 07:46 AM

Exam answer
 
.

Smartypants 11-24-2005 01:39 PM

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy Christmas season.

madasacutsnake 11-24-2005 06:59 PM

Holy Cow.

Avalon 11-27-2005 06:17 PM


I love the sender of this card !!!!

Jack Flanders 11-27-2005 06:30 PM

That was amazing!!! How did they do that?

brainfix 11-27-2005 11:00 PM

Tiddly-winks
 
The following episode didn't make me laugh as much as wonder what kind of personal pain would cause such behavior.

There is a local eatery and store I frequent becuse it's so convenient to my house and business. On the weekends, the store is run by teens who often space out, have nasty attitudes or treat you like trash.

Today I went to grab a nice leisurely breakfast, read the paper and chill. The girl at the front counter, Megan, is maybe 17, dresses subtle Goth and rarely smiles, thin and tiny, but cute somehow. She is earnestly engaged in bouncing pennies into the penny holder next to the register. She rarely looks up to acknowledge anything.

I order breakfast, grab a paper and sit down. Megan is bouncing her pennies into the cup as I try to concentrate on the paper. The noise permeates the place like a Vegas coin room. I realize I can't take it. I get my food and say to the waitress, "That is incredibly irritating!" as I point to Megan and her mindless pursuit.

A minute or two later, the noise stops. I am so thankful, maybe more so than on Thanksgiving.

I go to pay, Megan gives me a frosty stare, grabs my money and slams the change on the counter. She's about 4'10" and 85 pounds.

Wicked cute girl, but her attitude erased any cuteness she possessed.

trisherina 11-28-2005 01:36 AM

National Post
 
Quote:

None of the trenchcoat-clad, ear-piece wearing guards could prevent him from being roundly booed, though, and neither could they secure an entertaining first half on the field.
.

Brynn 11-29-2005 05:57 AM

Why you might want to give up going to that place...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by brainfix
While I was waiting for my food, I said to the waitress, "That is incredibly irritating!" as I pointed to Megan and her mindless pursuit. Megan stopped and disappeared into the kitchen. I heard some strange gutteral noises. She reappeared a few moments later apologetically with my food, all smiles. Breakfast was unusually delicious that morning, and the coffee was free!

:rolleyes:

madasacutsnake 11-29-2005 07:24 AM

Mmmmmmmmmm, cappucino!

priceyfatprude 11-30-2005 01:18 AM

"I'd invite you over to dinner tomorrow night, but I know you're watching your Big Loser show tonight."--my mother

Jack Flanders 11-30-2005 01:29 AM

Mothers!!

craig johnston 12-02-2005 07:21 AM

from a dear friend:

Quote:

i think i'm getting old. i've started listening to radio 4... at the moment there's a very interesting documentary about potatoes. hmm.
lol! :D

Brynn 12-02-2005 05:29 PM

this

Jack Flanders 12-02-2005 05:38 PM

Ja, bigger screws are going to keep the signs from being stolen!

madasacutsnake 12-05-2005 03:04 AM

"This set comes already tied with gold ribbon and is ready to be given to that hard-to-buy-for someone on your list or it could be suitable for the office Christmas gift exchange!"

priceyfatprude 12-07-2005 12:29 AM

My little Italian grandmother turns 82 on Friday:

Me: Well, I appreciate the money, but don't send that much! Maybe just half?
PeefNonna: Half! You can't get anything for that! I'm sendin' all of it, then you will be able to have a cushion, do what you want w/it.
Me: Well, if you send that much, that's my Christmas gift, then. No more.
PeefNonna: But I already made out the Christmas cards yesterday!
Me: Well, ok. You can send it.
PeefNonna: Yes, that way you'll have it if something comes up.
Me: Yeah, I do have a birthday this week...
PeefNonna: Ok.

*thinks about it*

PeefNonna: *LOUD GASP* DON'T YOU DARE! That money is for you!
Me: *chuckling* Ok. I promise.



**** her! I'm sending her flowers with half that money she is sending me. Big yellow roses, her favorite. :) Either that, or what my flower shop does is, I give them an amount, and tell them to make a big beautiful bouquet out of whatever they've got lying around the shop, make it $X worth. That way it's a different bouquet every time and not some cookie cutter FTD bouquet. My stepmother loves them.

ambo 12-07-2005 01:04 AM

Aw, I had a nonna too !

sparticle 12-07-2005 03:20 AM

Hi, Ambo -- long time no see!

Okay, here was my giggle for the day:


dinzdale 12-07-2005 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ambo
Aw, I had a nooner too !

Good for you girl. :)

Smartypants 12-07-2005 02:34 PM



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