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-   -   Overheard in the workplace (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=3483)

red 12-08-2003 07:27 PM

Overheard in the workplace
 
"oh…it's just big, nasty, white cake."

red 12-08-2003 07:44 PM

"Go with Ocenan's Eleven. That's a safe one."

Coffee 12-08-2003 10:28 PM

"You want it when?"

Red Princess 12-08-2003 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Coffee
"You want it when?"
ha ha ha, i say this all the time and then i laugh and laugh....

Coffee 12-08-2003 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Red Princess
ha ha ha, i say this all the time and then i laugh and laugh....
I'm self employed, and need the work badly...I have to say..."ok"... then I cry and cry and cry.

Red Princess 12-08-2003 10:39 PM

i own a service bureau, i get to laugh, but then i get it done when they want it anyhow

JesusTitties 12-08-2003 11:33 PM

" i dont think the tall guy in the corner is wearing any underpants"

maychorian 12-08-2003 11:36 PM

Said with absolutely no conviction, and followed by giggles:

"I'm a slave . . . for you?"

funkytuba 12-09-2003 03:09 AM

"I can't find the file you put in my home directory."


(use ls -a instead of ls, dickweed)

Frieda 12-09-2003 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by funkytuba
"I can't find the file you put in my home directory."


(use ls -a instead of ls, dickweed)

:D

red 12-15-2003 11:44 AM

"Did you see that woman in the red dress? She was like Skanky the Christmas Elf!"

Magpie 12-15-2003 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by red
"Did you see that woman in the red dress? She was like Skanky the Christmas Elf!"
LOL! That's priceless!



Damn how I love Google ;)

Red Princess 12-15-2003 05:06 PM

i don't care what InDesign says, there are no links in that file.

(precisely the problem you nimrod)

malina 12-15-2003 05:12 PM

" did i do anything bad yesterday? "

xerocs 12-15-2003 09:48 PM

"Do we get snow days?"


Actually I didn't hear that one... it was me that asked.... and then they laughed and laughed....

Klynne 12-16-2003 09:28 AM

You must have failed the mandatory sexual harrassment course

funkytuba 12-16-2003 01:34 PM

Spouses and families are not invited to the company christmas party.

Makes me wonder what they've got in store...

rmr 12-16-2003 03:01 PM

this from a friend of mine who is a social worker and works at a group home....................

"I INVENTED ELECTRICITY AND SOMEBODY OWES ME SOME GOD DAMN MONEY"

priceyfatprude 12-16-2003 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by funkytuba
Spouses and families are not invited to the company christmas party.

Makes me wonder what they've got in store...

Hookers for everyone! hahahahahahaha

Here's mine:


"Since we're in a different department this year, your Christmas present is lunch w/Russ."

zenbabe 12-16-2003 10:50 PM

our holiday party is going to be January 30th this year, and on a boat so people can't leave after they give out the door prizes...

beckstra 12-17-2003 01:02 AM

Special Instructions on a customer's security account in case of PD dispatch:

Notify PD that the husband sleeps in the walk-in closet of the master bedroom.

laughingbuddha 12-17-2003 12:29 PM

"Mom had called."

this had me laughing. A guy telling a girl this... a girl he is hitting on

malina 12-17-2003 12:39 PM

... he saw an opportunity to establish his priorities! :p

laughingbuddha 12-17-2003 12:43 PM

I've heard a lot of talk in my time...

red 12-17-2003 02:01 PM

"…don't worry he's just Canadian…"

madasacutsnake 11-17-2006 06:18 AM

Old lady number one: "Help!"

Old lady number two: "Help!"

Old lady number three: "Help!"

Old lady number four: "Fark them all, help ME!"

Brynn 11-20-2006 12:04 AM

Overheard - the eccentric, absent-minded receptionist to a harried paralegal:

"I think you're just about the nicest person I've ever met...but I'm going to have to think about that a little more."

"Oh. Thanks. I think"

priceyfatprude 11-20-2006 12:30 AM

Two girls I work with got their tongues pierced a few weeks ago. One of the coworkers at the one girl's part time job said:


"I know why you girls want to get your tongues pierced. I've been married for 39 years, you know what I do? Stick a Jolly Rancher in your mouth first, then go to town!"

conversation evolves into:

"You mean you never put something in your mouth first?"

"No. Well maybe some Pop Rocks. "

^^her new nickname is Pop Rocks.

Brynn 11-20-2006 12:46 AM

:D

Frieda 09-19-2007 07:01 PM

two guys talking further down the hall in the cubicle jungle

> hey, new pair of jeans? nice!
< yeah, thanks, the wallet doesnt fit in the back pocket though. and it looks kinda weird to put it in the front!
> well, that would make you look metrosexual. actually, you already are looking quite metro today
< ...
> really nice pants!

Tunesmith 09-19-2007 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frieda (Post 362521)
two guys talking further down the hall in the cubicle jungle

> hey, new pair of jeans? nice!
< yeah, thanks, the wallet doesnt fit in the back pocket though. and it looks kinda weird to put it in the front!
> well, that would make you look metrosexual. actually, you already are looking quite metro today
< ...
> really nice pants!

:D

That's one of those things you really can't respond to.

Veruki 09-21-2007 05:53 PM

One of our realtors to our receptionist:
"so where do you get your blow job?"

the question was supose to be, "where do you get your hair blow dried?" I don't think we'll be seeing him around here for a while, he left with his face bright red.

Tunesmith 09-21-2007 06:17 PM

I heard our catch-all school advisor say these two tidbits of wisdom within a minute of each other. She was prepping us for the SATs:

"Back when I was in school, I would've done really well on the science-related section. I wanted to go into medicine for around two years, but I ended up here instead!"

"The brain is a muscle. One of the biggest in your body. And, just like all other muscles, the more you exercise it, the bigger it grows."

Medicine, my ass! :D

Jack Flanders 09-21-2007 10:19 PM

^^^ yah - a real brain surgeon there!! :rolleyes: :D

brightpearl 09-21-2007 10:24 PM

M'kay, I have to tell a doctor story.

There is an OB here who has given clients of mine, when they ask about why he so frequently does episiotomies despite their being more likely to result in severe tears and infection, the following explanation:

"The outlet of the birth canal is a square."

*holds up thumbs and forefingers in paper football goalpost fashion*

"If you don't do an episiotomy, it tears at the corners."

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Oooooookaaaaay.
I have always wanted to ask him if he's ever delivered a baby with his eyes open.

Frieda 09-22-2008 08:44 AM

from behind the cabinet wall that separates my desk island from the rest of the cubicle hallway:

> "every time i hear you talk i feel i have to clear my throat.. "

< "yeah there's something uncomfortable in it, it's been like this for a couple of weeks.. a bit raw.."

> "oh, does your throat also itch?"

< "KKGGHHGHHHHGGGGGGHHH"

and then from another desk island:

"dude, that was pretty fierce"

michaelG 09-22-2008 08:58 AM

overheard as I passed two white women in the cafeteria:

Oh my god, did you see that ? I think he has a third leg.

brightpearl 09-22-2008 03:33 PM

"....too bad it's so obviously lame."

madasacutsnake 09-23-2008 08:22 AM

"You don't have your teeth in? Well you can't have mine, they're natural! How about you have his? He'll lend you his teeth!"

michaelG 09-24-2008 09:33 AM

in whispered voices :

"I just found out it is true what they say about Black men, you know...down there. " :D


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